Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 12, Episode 1 - Nailed - full transcript

FEMALE NARRATOR:
Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

NYPD lets Uptown Burglar
slip through their fingers.

That coin is more
than just a lucky dollar.

Jessica can be way
off a lot of the time.

I won't put up anymore
with any of his fooling around.

You've come a
long way in 10 years.

Tomorrow, unless I do
something drastic, he's gone.

You recognized his talent.

I want that contract signed

or we're both in the kind of trouble
that you don't want to know about.

He's into some
pretty creepy people.



I don't need that
kind of trouble.

Just get me the name of the
person that's trying to horn in.

(GRUNTS)

(SIRENS WAILING)

(PANTING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Antoinette's on Fifth,
Phoebe speaking.

No. I'm sorry, Jimmy's all
booked up at the moment.

Thank you. Antoinette's
on Fifth, Phoebe speaking.

Jimmy? Uh, no,
he's not available.

I read the piece about you in
People magazine last week, Jimmy.

My goodness, you've
come a long way in 10 years.

(CHUCKLES) Maybe you've forgotten
about our first session together?



You'd just come off the
train from Cabot Cove.

Oh, I remember.

(CHUCKLES) I was going to this
big shindig and my hair was a disaster.

Yeah. And I was scared to death.

(CHUCKLES) Always figured you'd
run straight out to Elizabeth Arden

and have them fix
my mistakes. No way.

I mean, you were a little rough
around the edges in those days,

but, oh, Antoinette
must be so proud of you.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Oh, looks lovely.

And done in record
time, I might add.

Well, see, I've got this
chance to do a demonstration

on the Nancy Rayburn
television show

and I gotta be on in 10
minutes. So I must say goodbye.

Love you, monkey.

Hey, tell her.

No, you tell her.
JIMMY: No, you tell her.

Well, Diane?

Oh! You mean, you
and Jimmy? Yeah.

Since last night.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, heavens!

Congratulations. Thanks.

Jessica, pardon the intrusion,

but I need the guest list
from the dinner party last night.

Oh, right, Sam. I
have it right with me.

How is Agnes doing?

Ah, she's still
in intensive care,

but the doc says she'll recover
without permanent damage.

Oh, thank goodness for that.

DIANE: We're finished
here, Mrs. Fletcher.

Thank you.

Agnes was just part of
a friendly get-together

for the new board
members at the museum.

Well, I'll talk to the others,
for what good it'll do.

We found the weapon, by the way.

Ms. Frazier identified it as
one of her own kitchen knives.

You know, Agnes left early.
She complained of a headache.

Well, it was her bad luck to get
home before she was supposed to.

Sam, are you sure this is the
same thief as the Uptown Burglar?

I'd bet on it.

Seven burglaries
in as many weeks.

I mean, he always has a key.

All those high-security buildings
and the doormen never see him.

He lets himself into an
empty apartment, bam!

Somebody loses a family heirloom

and he walks out
like nothing happened.

Until last night.

Well, the Chief wants a report.

I'll talk to you later. Fine.

WOMAN: Would you like
to try some conditioner?

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello, Kathy.

Jessica! I heard about
poor Agnes Frazier.

Well, the good news is, the
doctors say she's going to be all right.

Oh, that is good news.

I'll have the minutes
from last night's meeting

typed and faxed to you and
the rest of the board by tomorrow.

Oh, thank you very
much. No problem.

STEVE: Psst, Jessica.

Oh, good.

How's it going, Steve?
(SIGHS) Making notes.

(CHUCKLES) Just like you said.

It doesn't get much
more real than this.

Well, it's starting to show.

I mean, I read your latest
revisions and the details

that you're adding have
made a vast improvement.

Really? Yes.

I really like the way you're
building your characters.

Particularly the detective.

And your scenes are really
capturing the flavor of this place.

(CLEARS THROAT) You
know, if you're not careful,

you might be looking at a
very successful first novel.

Oh, well, listen, speaking
of detectives, I have...

Steve-O, those bins get emptied
on the hour, every hour, kiddo.

Right away, Phoebe.

NANCY: Jimmy, I have
the good, good fortune

to have you doing
my hair this afternoon.

You always come up
with something fresh,

just as you've done with
Tricia. Is that your Jimmy look?

(CHUCKLES) Well, actually,
no. No, it's not my look.

It's Tricia's.

You see, every woman has
her own distinctive beauty.

And it's just my
job to bring it out.

And there you have it,

from the lips of Manhattan's
hottest, most talented hairstylist,

Jimmy Neiman of
Antoinette's on Fifth.

Tomorrow, everyone's
favorite romance novelist,

Donnie Carstairs.

(BELL RINGING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Jimmy! Mr. Stafford.

(CHUCKLES) I didn't
expect to see you here.

Oh, really? Who do you think
arranged this appearance for you?

Hey, Jimmy, talk to me. You've been sitting
on our contract for three weeks now.

(STUTTERS) Mr. Stafford,
I don't know how to say this,

but I'm not sure that I want
to go through with our deal.

I've been thinking that...

Toni's always been
really terrific to me and...

Have you been waltzing
me around for three months?

No, but... My partners
and I have committed

over a million dollars
on your name alone.

Got a Park Avenue lease.
We've got construction contracts.

We got licensing deals.
Look, Mr. Stafford...

You listen to me, damn it!

Now, you have got to go to
Antoinette and you tell her that it's over.

You say, "Toni, bye-bye."

(SCOFFS)

And the rest is gonna be easy.

Come on, this is
Jimmy's Hair Works.

It's a chance for you
to have your own place.

Next year at this time,
we're gonna have a chain

of Jimmy's strung from one
end of this country to the other.

(GRUNTS)

You've got 24 hours.

I want that contract signed

or we're both in the kind of trouble
that you don't want to know about.

I'd better get back to work.

I must've screwed up
Toni's whole morning.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Stafford. VINCENT:
You have the money?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, relax. Vincent.

VINCENT: Have you got the money?

Look, I will have my side in
escrow by the end of the week.

All of it? All $800,000 of it.

Yes. I promise.

You better.

Nancy, go ahead and tell
me if it's none of my business

but as a friend,
I think this thing

you have going on
with Ralph Stafford...

It is none of your
business, Madelyn.

Just be careful, Nancy, huh?

I have to tell you, I've
heard nothing but...

You handle the show.

I'll take care of me. Okay?

STAFFORD: You're
not listening to me.

ANTOINETTE: For the record?
Yes, I've heard the rumors

that Jimmy Neiman is
jumping ship, and no.

There is no substance to
them. No, no, no. None whatever.

And you can take
that to the bank.

(EXCLAIMS) You
brought the books.

JESSICA: As many
as I could carry.

(LAUGHS) Oh! I thank
you. The shul thanks you.

Rabbi Gold... Rabbi
Goldberg will be ga-ga.

He is a major fan of yours.

Well, now listen, now, Hartley
Publishing donated the books, Toni.

All I did was to sign them.

If they help the
school raffle, great.

Phoebe seems to
be a little unglued.

Jimmy ducking appointments to do
Nancy Rayburn's show, I suppose.

(SIGHS) What am
I going to do, Jess?

There's a Hollywood star
who flies in every six weeks

just so Jimmy
can give her a cut.

One of our nine Republican
candidates for president

pays him $600 plus airfare to fly
to Washington every two weeks.

The kid's arrived.
Today he's my franchise.

Tomorrow, unless I do
something drastic, he's gone.

You know, but you seem
so sure that he's leaving you.

It's a rumor mill out there.

(THUDDING)

By the way, Steve
seems to be doing okay.

Your getting behind him
means he has promise, huh?

Well, good enough for a sizable
advance from my publisher.

I mean, I took Steve on
as a favor to Ted Hartley,

but he's got real talent and the
beginnings of a very good murder mystery.

(CHUCKLING) His big
mistake was to use a background

he had absolutely
no experience in.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Listen, I'll be on my way. Oh.

Bye-bye. Thank you, Jess.

You bet.

Good afternoon, Phoebe. I have
an appointment to see Andre at 2:00.

Oh, yes. He's waiting for you.

Oh, great. Thank you. Sure.

Break time, Steve-O.
Cover the phones.

Oh, okay. No problem.

Steve, I need another bottle
of Divine Pink over here.

(PHONE RINGING)

Thanks.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Antoinette's on Fifth.

Yes, Ms. Harrison. Your appointment's
confirmed. Thank you for calling.

Ms. Rayburn, super
show this morning.

Yes, it was, Stan. Is
Jimmy ready for me?

It's Steve. He's
ready and waiting.

Wonderful, Stan.

If I don't get a wash and set for
tonight's opening, I'm gonna die.

Nancy. Hi. Kathy.

Darling.

Oh! Nice.

Oh, are you sure? Yes.

I thought I'd give
Ralph a little surprise.

Oh, he's gonna love it.

Oh, I hope so.

So, how're things
in that department?

Oh, so much better. We've
had several real sit-downs

about... You know. Mmm.

And, well, he's on notice that

I won't put up anymore
with any of his fooling around.

Well, that's the
hellraiser I knew in school.

Oh.

Oh, listen, I still
have your book.

I'll bring it by sometime
this week, okay?

All right. Bye,
darling. All right.

Mrs. Stafford, nice to see you.

Your husband's
waiting. This way.

Thank you very much.

Hello, sweetheart.
Ralph, darling.

And Mrs. Stafford, when
you see Mrs. Frazier,

please tell her I wish her
a very speedy recovery.

I will, Billy, thank you.

Thank you.

Well? Well, what?

Don't you notice something
just a wee bit different?

Oh, the earrings. They're new?

No, Ralph. You gave
these to me for Christmas.

Good afternoon, Café Metropole.

Yes, yes, I heard
about Mrs. Frazier.

It's absolutely tragic about
her being knifed by that thief.

Look, I didn't have
a choice, damn it.

She came at me with that knife.

We're both lucky there wasn't
enough light for her to see my face.

Really?

Sounds promising.

Tell me more.

KATHY: It's not just
that it's priceless.

Ralph, you're sure this is
just being used as collateral?

I mean, this was

the first coin ever put into my
great-great-grandfather's cash register.

And that little feed and
grain store blossomed.

I'll get back to you. Into the
Fairlong supermarket chain.

Honey, your family paved the
way for entrepreneurs like me.

And it'll be that way
with Jimmy, too. I know it.

But just promise
me that this'll be safe.

I would just die... Relax.

I'm just gonna use this to
secure the loan, that's all.

And then we're gonna fire Jimmy's
Hair Works off the launch pad,

it'll be payback in
six months, max.

I always knew you'd
hit the big one, darling.

Let's eat, huh? I want
to get this to the bank.

I'm not all that
comfortable carrying

a half a million dollars
around in my pocket.

If we're feeling
adventurous today,

we have a superb fresh trout
sautéed with cilantro capers

and shiitake mushrooms.

KATHY: Hmm.

Sam, I am so glad
that I caught you in.

You know, after I got
my hair done this morning,

it occurred to me that there
may be a common denominator

between the victims
and this Uptown Burglar.

You mean, like a club of some
kind? A theater group maybe?

Somebody finds out
they're out on the town,

the coast is clear
and the thief moves in.

Exactly. I mean, it struck me
that Agnes Frazier, for instance,

is a client of
Antoinette on Fifth.

And so is Henrietta Gribble.

Victim number three.

And Susan Davenport.

Number four. Well, you
might be on to something.

I mean, while they're
being worked on,

their handbags are unattended.

Somebody could be making a
wax impression of their housekeys.

Right, and if ever there
was a place where people

openly discuss their
upcoming social engagements,

where and when they're
going, it's in a beauty salon.

I owe you, Jessica.
I'll get right into it.

Ms. Frazier's out
of intensive care.

I'm going over there
to get her statement.

Come on, I'll drop
you where you're going.

Thanks.

Thank you, Michael. Thank you.

(WHISTLING)

STAFFORD: Allie,
this is gorgeous.

How did you get
this done so quickly?

Never mind.

Just remember, anybody
that's really into old silver

is gonna spot the
phony in a second,

and you never heard
of Allie Simpson.

Nice working with you.

Good night. Good night.

Closing time, Steve-O.
Empty out the towel bins

and straighten all
the chairs, okay?

Okay, Phoebe.

Excuse me? Is there anything
you need before I leave?

No, thanks, Steve.

I'll lock up.

Wait.

Nancy Rayburn left
her glasses behind.

Be an angel and drop them
by her place sometime tonight?

Her address is on
Phoebe's registry.

Sure. No problem.

Thanks.

(SIGHS)

Okay, what's up?

I don't want to say...

Come on, it's about
me and Toni, isn't it?

Partly.

Have you told her?
No, I haven't told her yet.

And please, please don't give me the
lecture about how much I owe her, okay?

I'm scared for you.

It's Ralph Stafford.
I don't like him.

In my job, a girl gets to know
her clients' private business.

Kathy Stafford's gotta
be a babe in the woods

when it comes to all the
other women in Ralph's life.

So?

So when I'm doing his nails,
he talks on the phone a lot,

and it seems like he's into
some pretty creepy people.

Hey, drop it, okay?

Now, come on, let's
grab some dinner.

Jimmy, he hits on me.

Can I blame him? No.

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)

That's quite a car, Phoebe.

Mr. Stafford, you sure
know how to scare a girl.

What are you doing here?

It's Ralph.

You know, I think
you might be able

to help me out of
a small problem.

I don't see how.

I understand that you and
Jimmy were quite an item once.

Yeah, in the old neighborhood.
We went out a couple times.

I don't see how that's
any of your business.

Maybe, maybe not.

You see, Jimmy has made a
very serious business commitment

to me and to my investors

and, all of a sudden, he
seems to have gotten cold feet.

Damn! Then the rumors are true.

You're taking Jimmy
away from Toni

and setting him
up at his own place.

If you think I can change
his mind, you're mistaken.

Jimmy and I are history.

I just want you to keep your
ears open for me, that's all.

Just give me the name of the
person that's trying to horn in.

I'll take care of the rest.

I've heard about you
and your investors.

I don't need that
kind of trouble.

Phoebe, trust me.

This is a respectable
business syndicate.

What's in it for me, Ralph?

Well, Jimmy's Hair Works
is going to need a manager.

Someone with looks and charm.

It would have to be a
year's contract, in writing,

twice what Toni pays me.

I think we can manage that.

I can't help you with Jimmy,
but there's someone else.

Go on.

NANCY: I can't believe this could
be worth half a million dollars, lover.

Well, let me put it this way.

If I get hit by the Madison
Avenue bus on the way home,

you're way ahead of the game.

Oh, do me a favor.
Stay off Madison Avenue.

You're not forgetting the
most important part, are you?

Just as I promised,

once we get Jimmy's
Hair Works up and running,

Kathy is served
with divorce papers.

It's not all the money
I have in the world,

but it comes close.

Well, this makes you a
partner in Jimmy's Hair Works.

Congratulations.

Finally, some
financial security.

This coin is your security.

And the first thing
tomorrow morning,

I want you to put that
in a safe deposit box.

Because this is not the kind
of thing you want lying around.

Yeah, me, too. But, I
have to be at the Broadhurst

in an hour for that opening.

Well, thank you for a...

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Ms. Rayburn?

Did you know your door was open?

Ms. Rayburn?

I've got the glasses
you left at Antoinette's.

(GRUNTS)

Sam, forgive me for barging in,
but I was the unhappy recipient

of Steve Burke's
one telephone call

and I sort of feel
responsible for this

terrible predicament
that he's in.

Well, he says that you suggested
he go to work at Antoinette's.

Just how well do you
know this Mr. Burke?

Well, well enough to know
that he's a promising writer.

He's not a second-story man.
Oh, Steve, you look terrible.

That's what a rabbit punch and a
night in the slammer does for you.

This whole thing is crazy.

All I remember is standing in Ms.
Rayburn's apartment and, wham!

The next thing I know I
was being handcuffed.

SAM: Robbery detail found this on
the floor of Ms. Rayburn's apartment.

Ms. Rayburn says
she never saw it before.

Yours, Mr. Burke?

No. Sam.

What did Ms. Rayburn
say was taken?

Well, the usual
priceless portables.

Chinese ivories,
cloisonné and that's it.

Look, Nancy Rayburn told
everybody at Antoinette's

that she was going to
a Broadway opening.

Mr. Burke here
decided to go in and...

Sam, she announced it on TV.

Half the people
in Manhattan knew

that she was not gonna
be home last night.

All right, Jessica, all right.

But I can see the
headline right now.

"NYPD lets Uptown Burglar
slip through their fingers."

But I'm gonna let Mr. Burke
go based on your word

that he is an honest
and upstanding citizen.

You can blame me. Thanks, Sam.

Come on. Thanks.

(SIGHS)

I just heard about it on
the news. Talk to me.

Ralph.

Darling, the coin, I
didn't get a chance

to put it in my
safety deposit box.

They took it?

Darling, don't worry. I
didn't report it stolen.

It would've made the papers,

Kathy would read it and
put two and two together.

Surely you had it insured.

(SIGHS) Of course I did.

Then you can claim you lost it
or that someone stole it, whatever.

In any case, sweetie,
business is business

and I'm gonna
need some collateral

or I'll have to ask you
for my $400,000 back.

(LAUGHS)

That's why I love you, babe. You're
always thinking of the bottom line.

I'll have it for you within
24 hours, I promise.

Goodbye.

So, Di, let's talk
about your boyfriend.

He's my fiancée, Mr. Stafford.

Oh, really? Since when?

Oh, never mind.

Look, Jimmy has been
blowing hot and cold to me

on this contract and I need
to have it signed by tonight,

and I just know

you have a way to
help him see the light.

I don't stick my nose in
Jimmy's business, Mr. Stafford.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Well, let me tell you
why I think you will.

BILLY: So you're
telling me it's a fake?

Allie said what?

Yeah, I think I know
exactly what the story is.

Something big
just fell into our lap.

Too good to pass up,
huh? A chain of salons.

The only chain you're
gonna know from

is the one that'll wind
up around your neck.

And guess who'll be
on the other end of it.

Come on, Toni. Oh, Jimmy.

Don't you know the
kind of would-be partners

that Ralph Stafford
surrounds himself with?

He tried to buy in here
once, but I knew better.

I mean, Jimmy, didn't you learn
anything in the old neighborhood?

I'm out of the old neighborhood.

And besides, compared to those
guys, Mr. Stafford's got class.

Any class Ralph's got

has Kathy Stafford's bank
account number written all over it!

You've made up your mind.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

This is the most difficult
thing that I've ever had to do.

Remembering what we had
together in the beginning...

Get out. Finish the week.

Take your things and get out.

I didn't mean it, Jimmy.

I will always want
the best for you.

And wipe your mouth.

Hello, Billy.

All right. I've got 10 minutes.

What is this hush-hush deal
that you're trying to sell me on?

This'll take less
than 10 minutes.

Seems we have a mutual
friend in Allie Simpson.

I'm sorry, the name
doesn't ring a bell.

Then let me ring it for you.

Allie gave my partner the
scoop on your wife's silver dollar

and the worthless copy
he had made out for you,

the one that ended up in
Nancy Rayburn's condo.

What are you smoking?

We want $50,000 in cash or
your wife and Nancy Rayburn

are both gonna know
the whole nine yards.

I'm afraid you're not
thinking clearly, my friend.

You just told me that
you and your partner

broke into Nancy
Rayburn's condo last night.

That makes you
the Uptown Burglar.

Which means you two go
down for robbery and assault.

(SCOFFS) And you'll
be going down with us.

No, Billy Boy, I won't.

You show me the law that says

that I can't make a copy of
something that my wife already owns.

You're a piker, Billy.

First thing tomorrow, I'll
be talking to the police.

MADELYN: Let me tell you, I'd have
given anything not to have been there

and heard all that, Nancy.

If it's any consolation to you,

you're not the first
woman who... No.

No, you'd be less of a
friend, if you hadn't, honestly.

It's a little damage
control, it'll be fixed.

Nancy, there's something
else. More difficult, I'm afraid.

Well, that's hard
to imagine. Go on.

The ratings haven't improved,
the station's pulled the plug.

We're off the air the
end of this month.

(BELL RINGING)

Nancy, I have to talk to you.

Can it wait, Kathy?

You know I'm giving Jimmy
a send-off party tonight

and I've got just a million
things... No, it can't wait.

Um, we have to have
something out right here and now.

Kathy, for heaven's
sake, pull yourself together.

Look, there's a nice
bar around the corner.

We'll have a drink, we'll talk.

Okay.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOOR OPENS) MAN:
Welcome, Mr. Stafford.

Thanks.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Hmm, hello, sweetheart.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Well, listen, I can't say that I
won't miss you at Toni's, Jimmy.

But I do wish you
the very best of luck.

It's a very brave
move you're making.

Thank you. But Diane's
the one with the courage.

(SIGHS) Yeah, if that means
keeping everything crossed.

I'm still not sure that
I'm doing the right thing.

Mrs. Fletcher, Diane, Jimmy-boy!

Hey, why the long face?

Come on. This is
your night. Come on.

You haven't forgotten that
I do need your signature

on that contract tonight?

Huh?

Oh, yeah, sure. Later, right?

Uh, come on.

I know that Toni
and you go way back.

No hard feelings, I hope?

Well, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't
say that I had some regrets, Mr. Stafford.

Sorry I'm late, darling.

Kath.

Well, if it isn't too much trouble,
would you try to mingle? Hmm?

And maybe you could
take that frown off your face.

This isn't a funeral.

(WHISPERS) Excuse me.

(CHUCKLES) Hmm.

Toni, you're a good
sport for showing up.

I'd like to think that it's on
account of the memories.

It's been 10 years, Ralph.

They're more like bad dreams.

Didn't I tell you that some day
that stubborn streak of yours

was gonna cost you dearly?

We could've been partners.

Yeah, Ralph, my
decision to turn you down

seems more brilliant
every time I see you.

Well, it's a shame what those
10 years have done to you.

I could be making the same
offer to you all over again.

Except that I find that I like younger
and prettier faces around me these days.

I'll get you for that, Ralph.

Hmm.

Hi, Jess.

Ah, come on, Toni, it's
not the end of the world.

Yeah, it is, kind of. Hmm.

How about in my
next incarnation,

I open a little two-chair jobby
down from you on 62nd street?

Well, I'll be your first client.

Yeah? (CHUCKLES) Yes!

Antoinette. Jessica.

I'm sorry I'm late. I had to borrow
a suit from my brother-in-law.

Still looking handsome.

What happened to my handbag?

Well, I could've
sworn it was right here.

I thought I saw it there, too.

Wait, isn't that your bag
on the end of the bar there?

Along with everything else,
I'm losing my memory, too.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

WAITER: Excuse me, Mr. Stafford.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Hello, Mrs. Fletcher.
Steve. Are you leaving?

Yes, I am. Mmm-hmm.

You know, I think I'm
gonna hang in for a while.

Oh, I want to hear
how his book's coming.

I hope getting karate-chopped
didn't disconnect any circuits, Steve-O.

(CHUCKLES) None
that I've noticed.

Good night, Steve.
Good night, Mrs. Fletcher.

Good night, Phoebe.

(THUNDER CRACKING)

SAM: Nancy Rayburn retired at
11:00 with the party going full blast.

The caterer says Mr. Stafford left
the party after 1:00 in the morning.

Now that's an odd time
to be going to a hair salon,

don't you think,
Miss Antoinette?

It's Ms. Fishman and I can't
think why on earth he was here.

I don't know what time
he came or how he got in.

Like I said, I got
here this morning.

I discovered I'd misplaced my
keys and then Steve let us in.

And there was Mr. Stafford's
body, right in Jimmy's chair.

Those scissors belong
to me, Lieutenant.

They're Regals from England.

I'm the only operator
in here that uses them.

Then we'd expect to
find your prints on them.

I doubt that. I always wipe
them clean last thing at night.

You know, it certainly doesn't
look like a robbery-homicide, Sam.

No. Not with three
Gs left in his pocket.

You see, it was this note
addressed to him and the contract

that evidently got
him over there.

The caterer says he
found it on the hall table

and gave it to Stafford.

Jimmy Neiman
says he didn't write it.

It looks more like a
5-year-old's scribbling, anyway.

Or someone could have
disguised their handwriting.

This lucky dollar didn't
do him much good.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, Sam, that
coin is not exactly a lucky dollar.

Oh, my God.

Ralph never made
it to the bank after all.

Come again, Ms. Stafford?

That's an 1804 silver dollar.

Ralph was going to
pledge it for a bank loan.

An 1804?

My goodness, there are only
three or four left in existence.

It's been in my
family for generations.

It's worth an incredible
amount of money.

Well, it'll be safe with us.
Why don't you go home

and get some rest
and we'll talk later?

Detective Harbinson'll
take you home.

(SIGHS) Thank you. Ma'am.

(SIGHS) You know,
Sam, those two boxes,

now there has to
be some connection.

Between the Uptown
Burglar and this murder.

Yeah. I hear you. But what?

I mean, where do you start?

Jessica, excuse me.

Look, there's something
wrong with this whole picture.

Clear your mind,
Steve, what is it?

Darned if I can
put my finger on it.

But something's missing.

All right. Thank you all for
your cooperation. Ms. Fishman,

your place will be off-limits
for the rest of the day.

(SIGHS)

Phoebe, tell the kids
to take a holiday on me.

Okay. 10:00 sharp tomorrow.

Sure, Toni.

You've gotta level
with me, Jimmy.

One way or another, the
police are gonna find out

you went over to
the salon last night.

Why should I tell them?

(CAR HONKING)

Look, it'd only cause trouble.

Look, I left my
shoes in my locker.

I grabbed them and I left.

Hey, hey!

You think that I killed him?

Why would I do a
stupid thing like that?

For me, I guess.
He must've told you.

Talk sense, Diane. Told me what?

He had someone check me out.

Unless I used my influence
with you to sign the deal,

he was going to tell you
something about me. Something bad.

(SCOFFS) Okay, so, how's
that gonna change anything?

I was 16, Jimmy. It was way
before I went to beauty school.

My old lady kicked me out.

It was the only way I could
make a living. (CHUCKLES) Hey!

I don't wanna hear
about when you were 16.

I like who you are now.

I love you, Jimmy.

Oh, I love you, too,
you little monkey.

16 was boring, anyway.

You want me to go on about
the trouble I got in back then?

No way. No! (LAUGHS)

BILLY: Enjoy. Bon appétit.

(PHONE RINGS)

Café Metropole, Billy speaking.

WOMAN: Did you hear what
happened to Mr. Stafford?

Yes, I heard. WOMAN:
You happy now?

No, I'm not happy.

Dead or alive, Ralph Stafford's
little scams may still kill us.

WOMAN: How?
It's those coin boxes.

That's what I'm talking about.

BILLY: No. I'm not happy.

Dead or alive, Ralph Stafford's
little scams may still kill us.

It's those coin boxes.

That's what I'm talking about.

WOMAN: Billy, honey,
calm down for a damn minute.

No one knows our connection
except Allie and you know he's cool.

We hit the super lotto, Jessica.

You really tagged it. All
those calls from Antoinette's

to the Metropole, while
Billy Blake was on duty.

(SIGHS) Except we still don't
know who placed the calls,

or from which extension at
the salon they came from.

(SIGHS) And for the life of me,
I cannot place that girl's voice.

SAM: Hey, we'll pick up Billy
Blake and hope he tells us

before he lawyers up.

(GROANS)

What is it? I don't know.

This whole case has
given me a pain in the neck.

She had no way of knowing.

Who? What?

Sam, I think I know who
Billy Blake's girlfriend is.

(BEEPING)

Hi, Lieutenant. You
boys left quite a mess.

(PHONE RINGS) Oh, I got it.

Antoinette's on Fifth,
Phoebe speaking.

No, Toni's not back yet. Yes,
I'll have her give you a call.

Thank you. Bye.

You hoping it was
Billy, Miss Campbell?

Billy? I don't know any Billy.
Do you know any Billy, Diane?

Oh, as half of the Uptown Burglary
team, I'm pretty darn sure you do.

(LAUGHS)

You're putting me on, right?

(CHUCKLES) At Nancy
Rayburn's party last night,

Ms. Fletcher says that you
referred to the karate chop

that Steve got from the burglar.

Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I never told
anyone here at the salon how I was hit.

You're building a case on
something as flimsy as that?

Well, that and a voice-print

of a very incriminating
conversation you had with Billy Blake.

I'm pretty sure it'll
match your voice.

Read her rights and book
her. DETECTIVE: Let's go.

(PHONE RINGS)

Antoinette's on Fifth.

MAN: Is Lieutenant Kriley there?

It's for you, Lieutenant.

What? Where are you taking her?

Steve, am I crazy, or
was Phoebe just arrested?

No, no, you're not crazy.

SAM: Well, if
you're that sure of it.

MAN: Are you gonna be here soon?

Yeah, we're coming
in right now, yeah.

Take it easy. Right.

That was the lab report on
the scissors that killed Stafford.

It appears that your prints are
the only ones on it, Ms. Fishman.

Well... Well, I
can explain that.

Well, I'd love to hear it.

If you'll accompany me downtown.

You're not joking.
No, I'm not joking.

See, I'm a lot funnier
when I'm joking.

I'll joke on the way downtown.

ANTOINETTE: It was before
I left for the party last night.

I was closing up shop

and as I was leaving, I
saw myself in Jimmy's mirror.

There was this strand of
hair that wouldn't behave.

So I picked up Jimmy's
scissors and I trimmed it.

You see, I was late. So I must've
just put them down on the counter.

Why didn't you mention this to
me yesterday? Or anybody else?

Well, I forgot.

Finding a dead man in
your salon can do that to you.

Sam, it does kind of
make upside-down sense.

I mean, if Toni had
stabbed Mr. Stafford,

wouldn't she have
started alibi-ing right away?

Stafford was trying to steal
her prime asset, Jimmy Neiman.

We have witnesses
at the party to a hassle

that they had over
this very issue.

She left the party early so she could
be there ready and waiting for him.

Would you believe I was home
nursing a very old bottle of Scotch?

No, the doorman swears
he never saw you get home.

That will definitely affect
his next Christmas present.

Excuse me, ma'am. Let's go.

I didn't kill anybody, Jess.

I know you didn't, Toni.

Okay.

Come on. Come on.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Do you wanna hear
something interesting?

Well, only if it'll change
your mind about Toni.

No. Separate items.

Our Uptown Burglar copped
a plea and fingered the fence.

A grifter by the
name Allie Simpson.

This bird is singing
his little heart out now.

Here's the interesting part.

Oh, I thought I'd missed it.

It turns out that
Simpson knew Stafford.

See, Stafford had borrowed
the 1804 silver dollar from his wife

and had Simpson make
a phony duplicate of it.

Now, later, get this,

Phoebe Campbell tries to pawn
off the duplicate on Simpson.

Jessica, are you
listening to me?

Sam, why do you color the boroughs
red, all except one, that's white?

Kind of like a mark of shame.

The borough with the biggest
jump in homicides for the month.

Sam, you have just
put your finger on it.

What? I think I know
who stabbed Mr. Stafford.

And I must say honestly it
makes me quite miserable.

I really appreciate you giving me your
valuable time like this, Ms. Rayburn.

(LAUGHS) Oh, to hear Jessica, pretty
soon I'll be breaking down your door

to have you guest on
my show. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, as much
as I hate to say it,

Jessica can be way
off a lot of the time.

Just how can I help you, Steve?

Well, the problem has to do with a
clue that turns up in my final chapter.

Now, in my version, the
killer leaves something behind,

something the police don't see.

I'm not sure how I can help you.

What is this clue? Where is it?

Oh, how about under
the top stylist's counter?

It's something very personal,
something incriminating.

Sorry, Steve, but honestly,
I'm no judge of these things.

I was kind of thinking,
there's this guy,

a gofer maybe,
who knows about it.

And he gets an idea he can make
some bucks off what he knows.

So, of course, he leaves
whatever is there, there.

Fascinating, Steve,
but I'm due in makeup.

I don't have time to deal
with your fiction right now.

What? You don't like
it? Goodbye, Steve.

Whatever you're
looking for, Kathy, Nancy,

you won't find it
there or anywhere.

It was a figment of
Steve's imagination.

(NERVOUSLY) Jessica, what
on earth are you doing here?

I dropped something quite
valuable here yesterday morning...

If you'll let us alone...

Our cab's outside and we've got
about two seconds before we're due at...

No, Nancy. Not with a good
friend under arrest for murder,

it appears that both
of you had a hand in.

(SCOFFS) I think you're
grasping at straws, Jessica.

It's so cruel. So soon after...

Please, Kathy, it won't work.

Today in Lieutenant
Kriley's office

there was a graph on
the wall that reminded me

of the five fingers of a hand

and one of them was a
different color from the rest.

Like the nail polish
that you wore here

the morning after
your husband's death.

It was your usual color, Kathy, Red
Blush, I think it is, except for one nail.

And that was Divine Pink.

STEVE: See, Jessica's
been pounding into me

that one of a writer's
most valuable tools

is his power of observation.

I guess it finally
rubbed off on me,

because when she mentioned this,

I finally remembered

putting an unopened
bottle of Divine Pink

on Jimmy's counter, j just
before I left for the party.

Now the next morning, I
knew something was missing.

But I couldn't think of what.

Jessica helped me remember.

Well, I don't know
about you, Kathy,

but I'm not putting up
with any more of this.

I don't think so, ladies.
Ms. Fletcher's got it right.

I got a couple of search
warrants earlier this evening

and I found this newly-opened
bottle of Divine Pink

at your house, Mrs. Stafford.

What's so unusual
about that, Lieutenant?

Well, the fact that there are
only two sets of prints on it.

Yours and Mr. Burke's, here.

Can you explain how you came
into possession of Antoinette's key

to the salon that you
have in your hand there?

Ms. Rayburn. Mrs. Stafford.

I'm arresting you both for
conspiracy to commit murder.

KATHY: Ralph promised me
he wouldn't play around anymore.

His affair with one of my closest
friends came as quite a shock to me.

(SIGHING) The ultimate betrayal.

And somehow you discovered
that the coin that Ralph gave you

was worthless.

My producer Madelyn found
out quite by accident and told me.

Then Kathy came
to me very upset.

Nancy made me realize

how Ralph had manipulated
both of us in different ways.

The more we compared notes,
the more furious we became.

During the party, I managed to
get Antoinette's key from her bag.

KATHY: I wrote the note from Jimmy,
knowing that he couldn't refuse to come.

The wait seemed interminable.

It's funny what one
does to relieve stress.

I'd broken a nail,
and as we waited,

I filed it smooth and was
putting on the Divine Pink

when Ralph arrived
looking for Jimmy.

In the dark, I didn't even notice
it was such a different color.

NANCY: We told him how
he'd scorned and cheated us.

But he wasn't
listening. (SCREAMS)

He was furious with
us for tricking him.

I killed him.

(SNIFFS)

KATHY: He had it coming.

No, Kathy, we both killed him.

OFFICER: Come on.

Let's go. Right now. Here we go.

Those two women had every
reason to hate each other's guts.

They hated Ralph
Stafford even more.

It revived an earlier bond
they had from their school days,

they called themselves
Hellraisers then.

What's that they say, Jessica?

"Hell hath no fury..."

In this case, like
two women scorned.

Ha.

ANTOINETTE:
Looking good, eh, Jess?

Oh, I couldn't have written
a happier ending myself.

Your new manager seems to
have everything under control.

DIANE: Jimmy and
Antoinette's. Can you hold a sec?

Jimmy! Mrs. Anders
is waiting in your chair.

Hmm? Oh. Right, boss,
oh, what's she down for?

Jane Fonda in Klute?

What's that?
DIANE: I don't know.

That sort of
shaggy-messy, you know.

Okay. I can do that.

Later, Jessica.

Jessica.

Steve, what are
you doing still here?

You finished your book and
Ted Hartley's thrilled with it.

Yeah, yeah, he likes it so much,
he wants me to start a sequel.

I may never get out of here.

(ALL LAUGH)