Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 1, Episode 7 - We're Off to Kill the Wizard - full transcript
Jessica gets mixed up with a nasty scheme involving a theme park creator whilst visiting relatives.
You must be a
terribly unhappy man.
I don't need your
dime-store psychoanalysis.
I swear on my honor,
I meant no harm!
Mrs. Baldwin is willing
to pay you $100,000
if you can prove that
Horatio was murdered.
First you said it
was not a suicide.
Now you've proved it
couldn't be anything but.
You're describing,
it's impossible.
Horatio Baldwin is
dead, and I killed him.
And made his getaway through an oak
door sealed shut by a six-inch steel bolt?
[Cell Phone Ringing]
Yes, Horatio?
Sir, I'm prepared to invoke
flattery, cajolery, even bribery.
Horatio, you have my word on it.
I will bring Mrs. Fletcher back
with me one way or the other.
Well, Billy, what do
you think of that? Wow!
How did you fix it? Daddy
said it couldn't be fixed.
No, Daddy said he
didn't know how to fix it.
But I've got a bike almost
like this back home in Maine.
Can I ride it? Well, absolutely.
[Woman] Congratulations. Bert
was ready to junk that old thing.
Oh, dear, I hope he
won't be upset with me.
Are you kidding?
He's gonna be grateful.
Look, Jess, I've confirmed your
flight to Kansas City tomorrow.
But, honestly, won't you come
back and stay a few more days?
No, dear. A good guest
is like Halley's Comet...
Seen and enjoyed
seldom and briefly.
Right after my lecture, I go
straight back to Cabot Cove.
- We'll miss you.
- Good. Then you'll invite me back again.
Excuse me. Mrs. Fletcher? Yes?
My name is Michael Gardner,
and I am an ardent admirer
of the woman and her work.
Why, thank you. This is
my niece, Mrs. Donovan.
Delighted to meet you.
Mrs. Fletcher, I know
this is terribly short notice,
but my employer just this
morning learned of your
arrival in town, and he is
most anxious to meet you.
Oh, I'm sorry, but...
Perhaps you've heard of him.
- Horatio Baldwin?
- Horrible Horatio?
- That's right, son.
- And precisely what or who
is a Horrible Horatio?
Mr. Baldwin operates various
theme parks throughout the country.
As a matter of fact, today
at noon he's previewing
his latest venture...
Horatio's House of Horrors.
It's just for press and
a few close friends. But
he would really love
it if you could join us.
Hey, that's neat!
Could we, Aunt Jess?
Could we? Billy,
I don't think...
- Could we, please?
- I wanna go too!
No. No! No!
Wait! Wait! This is an error!
A grave error. Oh, please, no!
You don't understand!
Oh, boy! Too bad Bert can't be
here. He's my biggest kid of all.
♪ [Drums Continue]
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Witness all ye assembled here...
that for various crimes
against the people,
Horatio Baldwin must
now suffer the judgment...
rendered unto him
by a jury of his peers.
Executioner, do your duty.
No! No! Wait!
Wait! This is an error!
Wow! No! No!
What are they doing? They're
gonna hang him, dummy.
But it's only pretend,
Cindy. It's just a game.
My friends, I swear on
my honor. I meant no harm!
I only meant to titillate you!
Is there no one here
who will come to my aid?
♪ [Fanfare]
Fear not, sir! I shall deliver
you from this ghastly fate!
[Applause]
[All Gasping]
Good Lord, no! A knife!
Quick! Has anybody got a knife?
[Man]Somebody call an
ambulance! Get a doctor! Jess!
Get in there! Help him, quick!
[Sinister Laughter]
I am quite all right, my
friends, I assure you.
I hope this little diversion
didn't distress you too deeply.
It was all in fun. My
friends, I bid you welcome!
[Applause]
Wow! What a gross-out.
What happened?
Nothing, dear. They
were just playing a big joke.
Well, did you enjoy
our little stunt? Frankly,
Mr. Gardner, I found
it quite appalling.
Mr. Baldwin is ready to meet
with you now, Mrs. Fletcher.
And in the meantime, I'll arrange for
the family to tour the rest of the park.
My dear Mrs. Fletcher,
how good of you to come.
How could I refuse? I had two
loaded children pointed at my head.
Come. Let me show you around.
I don't want to be rude, Mr. Baldwin,
but my family is waiting for me.
I'll only need a few minutes
of your time, dear lady.
It must seem bizarre having an office
complex like this beneath the park.
Well, perhaps you have
an aversion to sunshine.
No, not sunshine.
Predatory competitors.
With access limited to
our elevator complex,
we've been able to keep
our secrets to ourselves.
[Man] Mr. Baldwin!
I'm busy, Nils.
Yeah. You've been busy
for a couple of weeks now.
But you're not going to be so busy if the
city shuts you down for safety violations.
- I will talk to you later.
- It's my name, Nils Highlander,
on those permits.
- It's my reputation at stake here.
- That's enough!
Exercise discretion, sir.
Nothing quite as temperamental
as a bullheaded Swede.
Shall we?
Mr. Baldwin, have you lured me
here to offer me some sort of job?
Please, Mrs. Fletcher, permit me
the seduction before you cry rape.
Come in, please.
Miss Bascomb, please see that
Mrs. Fletcher and I are not disturbed.
Yes, sir. Uh, sir?
You had an important
call from Mr. Carlson.
I'll be the judge of which calls
are important, Miss Bascomb.
Yes, sir.
My, that looks familiar.
It's terrific. It really is.
Oh, I'm delighted you
liked it. What's your name?
Laurie. Laurie Bascomb.
Well, Laurie, would you like me to
sign your book? I'd be so pleased.
You would? It would be
an honor, Mrs. Fletcher.
I'm trying to write
a book myself.
[Jessica] Are you? That's
wonderful. It's awfully hard work.
Oh, I know. Grim.
[Horatio] Mrs. Fletcher?
Perhaps that
could wait till later.
Oh, I think not, Mr. Baldwin.
[Knocking] Phil?
Arnold, I'm kind of busy
right now. She's here, Phil.
J.B. Fletcher. She
came. I can't believe it.
So, she came. So what?
You know what that means. Another park.
More red ink, more falsified accounts.
Arnold, if you don't like
the job, you should quit.
You know I can't do that
any more than you can.
Me quit?
No, I don't think
so. Didn't you hear?
The old boy's making me vice president.
He's gonna announce it tomorrow.
That's what he promised me two
years ago before he snatched it away.
He'll do the same to
you, Phil. Just watch.
The answer is no, Mr. Baldwin.
Don't be ridiculous.
This can't miss.
Horatio Baldwin presents J. B.
Fletcher's Mansion of Murder and Mayhem.
A panoply of blood and
gore, chills and thrills,
the screaming meemies
in three octaves.
The kids'll love it.
- The kids?
- Well, who do you think pays
to see this stuff?
Don’t you go to the movies?
When Cary Grant bowed
out, so did I. Violence.
That's what pays, Mrs. Fletcher.
That's money in the bank.
No. That's disgraceful.
Oh, come, come, dear lady.
Why this moral outrage?
I've read your books.
We're in the same business.
No, Mr. Baldwin. I write
for people who read.
You apparently stage
your bloodbaths for tots...
who have not yet learned
to differentiate between...
your sordid charades
and the real world.
- There's quite a difference.
- I'm not used to being refused.
Well, they do say a new
experience broadens the mind.
Excuse me.
I had the device put in to
keep unwanted visitors out.
I've never had to use
it to keep someone in.
Isn't that rather childish?
I can be a generous
friend, Mrs. Fletcher.
I can also be a
devastating enemy.
You must be a
terribly unhappy man.
What? I had a
student like you once.
He used to sulk and stamp his foot
when he couldn't get his own way.
I don't need your
dime-store psychoanalysis.
Perhaps not, Mr. Baldwin.
But you do need
to unlock this door.
My niece's husband is a
detective with the city police,
and I won't hesitate to have you
arrested on charges of forcible detainment.
[Chuckles]
Very well, my dear lady.
But I can assure you...
This conversation
is far from over.
Mickey, Mrs. Fletcher is going
to prove tougher than I suspected.
We're going to have to use your special
brand of research to turn her around.
[Gunshot]
Hey, Ned, you hear that?
Yeah. Sounded like a shot.
[Man] What's he doing
here this time of night?
And where's Miss Bascomb?
Yeah. She never leaves until he does.
Yeah.
He's got it bolted
from the inside.
Mr. Baldwin, are you in there?
Hey, Ned, what do we do?
Carlson's still here. I
better give him a call.
Yeah? Mr. Carlson?
Yeah, it's Ned
O'Brien with Security.
I'm sorry to disturb
you so late, but, well,
we heard a shot in
Mr. Baldwin's office.
We can't get in. It's
bolted from the inside.
What? Well, break in
the door! Use the fire ax
if you have to. You do
it now! I'm on my way!
He said, go in.
[O'Brien] Oh, my God.
Is he...
I don't know.
O'Brien!
[Billy] You should have seen
it, Dad. It was really great.
Everybody thought
the guy really got hung.
Hanged, Billy. Drapes are
hung. People are hanged.
Bert, can I fix you another
hamburger? No, I'm fine, Jess.
[Telephone Ringing]
[Carol] I'll get it.
Hello? Bert, it's for you.
Headquarters. Oh, come
on. It's Saturday night.
Gee, Aunt Jess, I sure hate to see
that other hamburger go to waste.
I'll just bet you would.
This is Donovan.
What?
When?
Yes, she's-she's here, but...
Yeah, okay. I understand.
Bert, what is it?
Horatio Baldwin... he's dead.
What? Dead?
And the captain wants
to talk to you, Jess.
Me? Whatever for?
I don't know exactly.
- All they said was that
Baldwin committed suicide.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- They seemed pretty sure.
- Well, they're wrong.
I met the gentleman. and, believe
me, suicide was not in his plans.
Mrs. Fletcher. Captain
Davis. Thank you for coming.
I know it's an
imposition. Not at all.
Bert, we've already questioned
most of the employees,
but we can't locate the secretary,
a woman named Laurie Bascomb.
I want an all-points on
her immediately. Yes, sir.
Excuse me, Captain. That sounds
as if Miss Bascomb is a suspect.
Just procedure, ma'am. Then
Horatio's death isn't a suicide.
That's right, Mrs. Fletcher.
It seems impossible,
but now we believe that
Horatio Baldwin was murdered.
At 7:15, there were only a
handful of people still at work,
including Baldwin.
Now, this door was shut,
bolted from the inside.
Yes, he demonstrated the
slide bolt to me. Very formidable.
Well, the guards heard a shot. They rushed
to the door, but they couldn't get in.
On orders from Phillip
Carlson... Carlson?
Baldwin's right-hand man. Ah.
They broke in the door. They
found Baldwin slumped over his desk,
a freshly fired pistol
in his right hand.
Watch your step, please.
As you can see,
there are no windows.
We are 30 feet under the ground. We are
surrounded on three sides by rock and dirt.
Oh, and if you're thinking
about a hidden door,
forget it. The boys have
been looking for hours.
Just a minute, Captain.
First, you said it
was not a suicide.
Now you've proved it
couldn't be anything but.
Yes, ma'am.
The medical examiner says that Horatio
Baldwin took a blow to the head here.
And he's pretty sure
that it was the blow
that was the cause of
death, not the gunshot.
Uh, pretty sure?
Actually, he's positive.
Well, Captain, what you’re
describing, that's impossible. I know that.
- Well?
- Hmm?
Mrs. Fletcher, in your books,
you have a way of
creating impossible murders
without their really
being impossible.
And you thought I
might have a few notions.
Yes, ma'am, something like that.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint
you, Captain. I haven't got a clue.
Yes, good morning.
My name is J.B. Fletcher.
I'm scheduled on your 10:00
a.m. flight to Kansas City.
I wonder, could I switch
to a later flight, if possible?
Yes, that would be fine.
Also, do you have anything
returning here this evening?
[Horatio Chuckling]
Don't be afraid, my friends.
Nothing frightening awaits you.
Oh, perhaps a moment or two
of panic, but we did warn you.
Seat belts pulled
tight? That's good.
And now, just sit
back... [Powering Down]
It's not the tape. I already
checked that on another machine.
Must be something in the relays.
Mr. Carlson? Oh!
Mr. Carlson, you're a hard man
to track down. I'm Jessica Fletcher.
Oh, it's a... It's a
pleasure to meet you.
Horatio said you'd
be talking to us. This is
Nils Highlander, our
construction foreman.
- Jessica Fletcher.
- We met fleetingly yesterday.
Did you manage to get your
problem straightened out?
I've got no problem, miss. I just
do my job the best I can, that's all.
[Telephone Ringing]
Excuse me. I programmed my
phone to forward my calls here.
Yeah, this is Nils.
No. No. No, you wait.
I'll be right there.
Amateurs. For help,
we've got amateurs.
Strange. Yesterday, he was
ready to throttle Horatio Baldwin.
Today, he has no problem.
You know, I find it hard
to believe what I keep
hearing, Mrs. Fletcher...
that Horatio was murdered.
The police believe
it's possible.
Believe me, it's not.
I entered the room not 30 seconds
after the security men broke in the door.
You could still smell the gunpowder. And
that door was bolted shut from the inside.
No way anyone
could have killed him.
Well, assuming that it
was murder, Mr. Carlson,
do you have any idea
of anyone who might...
Want the old boy dead?
Aside from me, that is.
Well, let me see.
There's his wife and
his business manager...
Madam Dracula and the
sleaze bag. That's two.
The bookkeeper, popcorn vendors, a dozen or
so groundskeepers, the entire steno pool.
Shall I continue?
Well, I must confess that I
didn't find Mr. Baldwin as lovable...
as his publicity
people painted him.
Face it, Mrs. Fletcher.
Beneath the Santa Claus smile...
beat the heart of a sewer rat.
Personally, I think Horatio
did the world a big favor.
But if it should turn out to be
otherwise, please tell me who to thank.
Excuse me. I have work to do.
Afternoon, ma'am. Help
you with your luggage?
I don't have any, but thanks.
Y'all must be goin' to Kansas City.
It oughta be leavin' in about 10
minutes. Oh, thank you very much.
And, ma'am, that flight'll be
leavin' from a special gate.
I'll show you. It's
down this way.
Well, my ticket agent said
it was Departure Gate B.
Yeah, well, they changed
it around at the last minute.
All this construction, you
know. It's right this way, ma'am.
I think I'd better check the desk.
That won't be necessary, Mrs. Fletcher.
We arranged special
transportation for you to Kansas City.
Well, thank you, Mr. Gardner, but
I've already made my arrangements.
Yes. And we've made ours too.
- Please.
- A gun? Surely you're joking.
On the contrary, I have someone who is
very anxious to meet you, Mrs. Fletcher.
Well, I'll accompany you, but not
because you're holding a gun on me,
but because my-my
curiosity is aroused.
There must be a rational explanation for
all this. [Woman] There is, Mrs. Fletcher.
I'm Erica Baldwin. Thank
you for accepting my invitation.
Oh, I never refuse messengers
bearing deadly weapons.
I'll tell the pilot we're
ready for takeoff.
Please, sit down. Thank you.
Would you like a drink?
Oh, no, no, thank you.
Black is very becoming to you.
This? I only wear it
on special occasions.
Four husbands and four funerals?
You may be in danger of wearing it out.
You know my reputation, Mrs. Fletcher.
My nephew Bert
has been filling me in.
Mrs. Erica Baldwin,
one-time showgirl, now
America's wealthiest widow...
thanks to the untimely
demise of three...
Now four... husbands.
Would it surprise you if I said
I loved Horatio very deeply?
Yes, it would.
Then I won't say it.
Since Mr. Gardner risked bringing
me here at the point of a gun,
I assume he feels a very
strong attachment to you.
For the past two years, Horatio
chose a celibate life, Mrs. Fletcher.
With Michael's
cooperation, I didn't.
I see. I understand...
the police aren't convinced
my husband committed
suicide... that they
think he was murdered.
They're exploring the idea.
"They"? What about you?
I'm concerned about the fate of a very
nice young lady named Laurie Bascomb.
But if you've shanghaied me here to
persuade me to stop, you're out of luck.
That's not it at all, Mrs. Fletcher.
We seriously want you to continue.
As a matter of fact, we...
That is... Mrs. Baldwin...
is willing to pay you $100,000 if you
can prove that Horatio was murdered.
I neither need nor want
your money, Mrs. Baldwin.
Then give it to the
starving orphans. They do.
I'm sorry. I'm confused.
Forgive me. As his
principal heir, Mrs. Baldwin,
I should have thought
that proving murder
would be the last thing
that you would want.
What I want is ready cash.
Horatio's holdings
are heavily mortgaged.
On the other hand,
1 1 months ago,
he took out a life insurance
policy worth two million dollars.
And somewhere
in the fine print...
is a clause relieving the company of
responsibility if Horatio kills himself.
I told ya she was sharp.
So, you see, Mrs. Fletcher,
I desperately need you to prove
that the impossible was possible.
[Man Over P.A.] Ready
for takeoff, Mrs. Baldwin.
Please fasten your seat belts.
I don't have the faintest
idea how I could do that.
But you're going to try.
Oh, Jess, here you are. We've
been so worried. I'm so sorry.
I tried to call you several times
from the airport, but the line was busy.
Oh, Jess, we have company.
Laurie! Mrs. Fletcher.
I wanted to call you. I
didn't know what to do.
Oh, it's all right, child.
No, it's not all right.
Horatio Baldwin is
dead, and I killed him.
Let's get one thing straight.
You did not kill Horatio Baldwin.
But if I hadn't left him
alone... I was under orders...
to stay at my desk
until he left for the night.
And instead, you got into a
knockdown, drag-out fight.
Well, that only goes to
prove that you're human.
Now, Laurie, please, tell
us exactly what happened...
between you and
Mr. Baldwin the night he died.
It was ugly, Mrs.
Fletcher. I wanted to quit.
I couldn't stand it anymore,
the way he used people.
He threatened me. I
begged him to let me go.
He said he was going to reveal
certain things about my past.
When he went back into
his office, I followed him.
He was acting like a madman,
taking delight in my desperation.
I could have killed
him then and there.
I ran out of the room. He
followed me to the doorway.
He said I'd never work again. I knew
he had all the power, but I didn't care.
I just wanted to get away.
And all he did was laugh,
went back into the
room, shutting the door.
I heard the bolt
slam into place.
That was about
a quarter to 7:00.
I swear to you... He
was in that room alone,
the door bolted, when I left.
You said he threatened
you. Do you mean blackmail?
We're not looking for details,
but if he was blackmailing you,
he may have had his thumbprints
on several other people as well.
He had files on
Arnold, Carlson, Nils,
all his key people, but I don't
know where he kept them.
I should say in his
office. All those security
precautions. He wouldn't
hide them anywhere else.
Jess, we went over
that office top to bottom.
But you were looking for a
door, Bert, not a cubbyhole.
That's great.
Block it off there.
Now let's get that wagon
over against that wall.
[Bert] We've looked
up there several times.
Shh. I'm trying to
reason this thing out.
Try not to fall asleep.
Donovan!
Morning, Captain. I understand
you have the Bascomb woman.
- Yes, sir, and I've questioned her.
- Why haven't you arrested her?
Well, um...
Excuse me. So, uh,
what's going on here?
We're searching for
Horatio's secret hiding place.
Lieutenant, you've searched this room
12 times. Nobody could've hidden in here.
[Bert] Not a person. Files.
Secret files. [Carlson]
What secret files?
[Bert] Don't give me that. You
know exactly what I'm talking about.
[Davis] Well, I
don't. Blackmail, sir.
Baldwin had dirt on just
about everyone in the company.
It's how he kept their
loyalty. Now, Mrs. Fletcher
believes the files are hidden
somewhere in this office.
Is that right, Mrs... Jessica?
[Davis] My God, she's gone!
Bert, what would you say
the temperature is in here?
- The temperature?
- It's an even 68,
controlled by a central unit.
Uh-huh. Well, in that
case, why would a man...
have a built-in
thermostat on his desk?
- What? Something?
- Soot.
- What are you doing?
- Mr. Baldwin was an obsessive gadgeteer.
It seems to me if he
wanted to hide a secret,
what better place
than out in plain sight.
[Bert] Empty.
So much for suicide.
Whoever murdered Horatio
stole those files, faked the suicide...
And made his getaway through an oak
door sealed shut by a six-inch steel bolt?
No, Lieutenant, I'm sorry. I'm
a lousy audience for fairy tales.
I hope you'll excuse me.
We open in less than 48 hours,
and I've got a lot of work to do.
For a man whose career
has been steeped in illusion,
Mr. Carlson has a
very closed mind.
[Davis] Well, Mrs. Fletcher, it appears
that you may be right about the files.
But that still doesn't bring us
any closer to solving the murder.
I'm not so sure, Captain.
True, we don't have the files.
But it seems to me
that Horatio Baldwin...
is hardly the sort of man who
would've done his own dirty work.
Right. He had someone
working for him.
Someone who knew
what was in those files.
Now all we have to do is to
find out who that someone is.
Um, I have a reservation on the
9:15 flight to Mexico City. Megrim.
The name's Arnold Megrim.
Oh, yes, Mr. Megrim.
One moment, please.
[Man] Code five. Code five.
It's the guy we've been
waiting for. Terminal 2.
Here we are, Mr. Megrim.
First class to Mexico City.
Flight 366, leaving at 9:15.
Just this one piece of
luggage, sir? Uh, yeah.
I'll carry this one.
Hold it! Hold it, there!
Get out of my way!
Get out of my way!
No! It's my money!
This is my money! It's mine!
This is mine! No!
No! It's my money! No!
I swear to you, Lieutenant.
That money is mine.
I earned it. Every penny.
110,000 in cash?
Ten years of my life.
My years of servitude
to Horatio Baldwin.
What about these, Mr. Megrim?
I never saw them before, Lieutenant.
I'm a bookkeeper, not a killer.
Well, according to these,
you're also an embezzler.
Eleven years ago, Felson
Brothers Mine and Foundry.
I never stole a dime from
that company. It was...
It was taken by Wanda
Perlstein, my associate.
Actually, she was
more than my associate.
She was... What's
the difference?
Mr. Megrim, I can understand you
being forced to stay by Mr. Baldwin,
but what I can't
understand is why you ran.
Well, I received a phone call.
It was a man, I think. The
voice seemed disguised.
He said the police had the files... that
they'd be picking me up. I-I panicked.
And it was a phone call that alerted
airport security to search his luggage.
Lieutenant, I was wondering,
could I go now, please?
I left my little cat in
the care of my landlord,
but I-I really have
been worrying about her.
Sure. Just don't go
anywhere we can't find you.
How could I go anywhere?
You've got it
all... every penny.
I don't know, Jess.
What do you think?
Well, for one thing, I just
wonder if this material is accurate.
I mean, for instance,
this file on Carlson...
That he ran off to Canada
during the Vietnam crisis.
I mean, that is not a
devastating revelation.
No, it's not. There's
another thing, Bert.
Did you notice?
One name is conspicuously
missing on that list.
Michael Gardner,
the business manager.
[Cat Meowing]
A cat? I must be losin' my mind.
What's a damn cat doin' up here?
[Meowing Continues]
Aw, come on!
Kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty.
[Meowing Continues]
What is this, a joke?
[Yelling]
[Bert] Right. Got it.
Okay, thanks, Ray.
Morning. Mmm, you're sexy
at this hour of the morning.
You finally noticed.
You want some coffee?
I'll get it.
So what happened? Did
Gardner really kill himself?
Maybe somebody
helped him over the ledge.
There's no way to tell.
Ray did dig up a
couple of things.
Gardner's name was
really Mickey Baumgarten,
an ex-private investigator
out of New York...
who was Baldwin's
private bloodhound.
We found some more
stuff in his apartment.
Wait till you hear this. He was trying to
dig up something on your Aunt Jessica.
You're kidding? Who was next
on his list, the pope? Probably.
- Speaking of your aunt, where is she?
- She went over to the House of Horrors...
to take another look
at Baldwin's office.
I assumed you
knew. No, I didn't.
Damn.
There's a private line into that
office. What is that number?
It's 555-1998.
Anybody here? Oh, Mrs. Fletcher.
Good morning, Ned. Your friend
let me in. I hope you don't mind.
Oh, no, ma'am. How's it going?
Not very well, I'm afraid.
Geez. I, uh... I wish
I could help you.
I was right here, and,
believe me, there's no
way it could've been
anything but a suicide.
[Telephone
Ringing] I'll get that.
Hello? Yeah, this
is O'Brien, Security.
Oh, Lieutenant. Yeah, she's, uh...
she's right here. Hang on. Mrs. Fletcher?
It's a Lieutenant Donovan.
You can take it in there.
I'll get it. Thank you.
Good morning, Bert.
Oh, don't be silly.
I'm perfectly all right.
Look Bert, would you
stop treating me as if I'm...
Well, all right, I'm...
Well, I'm leaving. Bye.
- Ned?
- Yes, ma'am?
Ned, those phones and these phones in
here, they're all on the same lines, right?
Uh, yes, ma'am.
1998 and 1999. Yeah.
- And if they're being used, these
little buttons would all light up, right?
- Right.
And if someone were to call in
on 1998 and the line was busy,
it would automatically
kick over to 1999.
Right again.
So if I used
1998... to dial 1998,
the call would come in on 1999.
Sure. But why would
you wanna do that?
Now, that light should
be lit, and it's not.
Ned, be a dear. Go in there and
pick up the receiver on the phone.
Okay.
Hey, this phone should be ringing!
Yes, I know. Please, pick up the receiver.
- Hello, Mrs. Fletcher? Are you there?
- Yes, I'm right here.
Mrs. Fletcher, excuse my French,
but just what the
hell is going on here?
Nothing significant, Ned.
I have just figured out
who killed Horatio Baldwin...
and how it was done.
[Knocking] Yo!
Excuse me, Mr. Carlson.
Yeah, O'Brien?
While you were out,
Mrs. Fletcher called.
She'd like you to
call her at her niece's.
She said it was
really important.
Thanks.
[Jessica] Hello? Mrs. Fletcher?
Yes? It's Phillip Carlson.
Oh, Mr. Carlson, thank you
so much for getting back to me.
I suppose you heard
about poor Mr. Gardner.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Tragic.
Well, apparently he had some
files that he had microfilmed.
Microfilmed? Yes.
And I have reason to believe they
are hidden in the Tunnel of Horrors.
Of course, my niece's
husband thinks I'm bonkers.
Does he really? Mr. Carlson,
believe me, I am not addled.
I know right where
that microfilm is,
and so do you if
you think about it.
An attraction that isn't
quite working right?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, I remember.
Could we meet with the
blueprints in, say, 40 minutes?
It will take that long
to get across town.
Yes. Sure. Forty minutes.
I'll see you then.
[Door Opens]
[Chuckling] Don't
be afraid, my friends.
Nothing frightening awaits you.
Oh, perhaps a moment or two
of panic, but we did warn you.
Seat belts pulled tight?
That's good. And
now... [Powering Down]
just sit back...
How wonderful, Mr. Carlson.
You've found our prize.
[Chuckles] Mrs. Fletcher,
you surprised me.
How did you get over
here so quickly? I just
spoke to you from
the other side of town.
Oh, yes, I had the
call automatically
forwarded to a phone
just a block from here.
But I don't have to tell you
about call forwarding, do I?
[Chuckles] I-I-I don't know
what you're talking about.
Don't you? That's how
you killed Horatio Baldwin.
That, and a little misdirection.
Why’d you do it, Mr. Carlson?
Did he renege on a promise
to make you a vice president?
You're crazy. Am I?
Whoever planted those
blackmail files on Arnold Megrim...
would have first replaced his own
file with something less incriminating.
That's why you killed Gardner...
Because he knew what Horatio
Baldwin really had on you.
That's why you have
to destroy that microfilm.
You're clever, Mrs. Fletcher.
Clever.
Guns, guns. That's
all you people know.
Baldwin. Gardner.
What's one more killing?
You can't expect to get away
with murder. But I already have.
[Bert] Freeze right
there, Carlson!
Drop the gun. Kick it to me.
[Drops Gun]
Thank you, Mr. Highlander.
The illusion was perfect.
Good thing it was.
You got lucky, Mrs. Fletcher. I
didn't know about the microfilm.
Microfilm? Oh, you
mean this? Oh, no.
This is just a roll of negative
from my trip last year to Spain.
The key to the mystery...
A telephone that wouldn't ring.
The fact is that Horatio Baldwin
was not alone in this room...
when O'Brien and the other
security guard heard the shot.
Carlson was here
in the room with him.
But that can't be. No?
Let me reconstruct
what we believe...
Or, rather, what Mrs.
Fletcher believes... Happened.
Jess, are you sure you
don't want to explain this?
Oh, don't be silly.
You're the policeman.
Well, jump in if
I get this wrong.
After Laurie and Horatio fought
and she left, Carlson showed up.
Horatio let him into the office.
Now, they quarreled.
Carlson had been promised
a promotion, but
Horatio changed his mind.
They struggled, and
Horatio either fell...
or was struck on the
head, killing him instantly.
Carlson panicked. He was the
only one working late that night.
He knew he'd be the obvious... if not
the only... suspect, so he devised a plan.
He hurried back to his own office, where
he got the pistol he kept hidden away.
Then he programmed
the telephone...
so that if a call came
in, it would automatically
be forwarded to
Horatio's telephone.
Oh, and keep in mind what
he was wearing that day...
Dark slacks and a dark
sweater over his shirt.
He returned to
Laurie's telephone and
disconnected the
lightbulb under the button.
Then he moved into the
office and bolted the door.
Next, he disconnected the
bell on Horatio's telephone...
so that if a call came in, someone standing
outside the door couldn't hear it ring.
And, finally, he propped
Horatio up at the desk,
placed the gun in his
hand, the barrel to his head,
and squeezed the
trigger. [Gunshot]
The sound of the
shot alerted O'Brien,
who rushed to the office, where he
was met by the other security guard.
Now, unable to get inside,
they did just what Carlson
expected them to do.
They phoned him
for instructions.
They thought they were reaching
Carlson in his own office, but actually...
he was taking the forwarded
call here in Horatio's office. Yeah?
Well, we heard a shot
in Mr. Baldwin's office,
and we can't get in. It's
bolted from the inside.
Well, break in the door!
Use the fire ax if you have to.
You do it now! I'm
on my way, okay?
Then he hung up. He moved to
the shadows next to the bolted door...
and pulled the black turtleneck
sweater up over his head.
In the darkness, totally dressed
in black, he was virtually invisible.
The guards broke
in, but, of course, they
were focusing on Horatio
slumped at his desk.
Oh, my God.
Classic misdirection.
They never saw Carlson exit the
room while their attention was diverted.
In the corridor, he quickly
got rid of the sweater,
turned and rushed back toward
the office, calling out as he did so.
O'Brien!
The guards turned
as Carlson entered,
and the illusion
worked perfectly.
To any reasonable person, there'd
been no murder. It had been a suicide.
You know, it might
have worked...
except for your
medical examiner.
Yeah. It was nearly perfect.
Except in this case, nearly
wasn't nearly good enough.
I still wish you'd have let
me bring Carol and the kids.
Just to wave
good-bye? Oh, dear, no.
I hate public good-byes.
Mrs. Fletcher, I really don't
know how I could ever thank you.
Well, first, by finally
calling me Jessica,
and, secondly, by starting
that book you want to write.
Now, this afternoon is
as good a time as any.
Oh, wouldn't I love to.
But I'm afraid I have to deal with reality
now, finding a job, paying the rent.
Incidentals. Erica Baldwin
gave me a little check...
as a token of her
appreciation, don't ask me why.
Considering how shabbily
her husband treated you,
I think it's right and proper
that you should have it.
Oh, no, I-I couldn't.
Oh, but I want you to.
I've already endorsed
it over to you.
[Man Over P.A., Indistinct]
There's my plane. Good-bye, Laurie.
Send me a signed first edition.
Absolutely, and thank you.
And you, Bert.
Give the kids another
hug and a kiss for me. I will.
See you next year. Okay.
Bye.
[Mouthing Words]
terribly unhappy man.
I don't need your
dime-store psychoanalysis.
I swear on my honor,
I meant no harm!
Mrs. Baldwin is willing
to pay you $100,000
if you can prove that
Horatio was murdered.
First you said it
was not a suicide.
Now you've proved it
couldn't be anything but.
You're describing,
it's impossible.
Horatio Baldwin is
dead, and I killed him.
And made his getaway through an oak
door sealed shut by a six-inch steel bolt?
[Cell Phone Ringing]
Yes, Horatio?
Sir, I'm prepared to invoke
flattery, cajolery, even bribery.
Horatio, you have my word on it.
I will bring Mrs. Fletcher back
with me one way or the other.
Well, Billy, what do
you think of that? Wow!
How did you fix it? Daddy
said it couldn't be fixed.
No, Daddy said he
didn't know how to fix it.
But I've got a bike almost
like this back home in Maine.
Can I ride it? Well, absolutely.
[Woman] Congratulations. Bert
was ready to junk that old thing.
Oh, dear, I hope he
won't be upset with me.
Are you kidding?
He's gonna be grateful.
Look, Jess, I've confirmed your
flight to Kansas City tomorrow.
But, honestly, won't you come
back and stay a few more days?
No, dear. A good guest
is like Halley's Comet...
Seen and enjoyed
seldom and briefly.
Right after my lecture, I go
straight back to Cabot Cove.
- We'll miss you.
- Good. Then you'll invite me back again.
Excuse me. Mrs. Fletcher? Yes?
My name is Michael Gardner,
and I am an ardent admirer
of the woman and her work.
Why, thank you. This is
my niece, Mrs. Donovan.
Delighted to meet you.
Mrs. Fletcher, I know
this is terribly short notice,
but my employer just this
morning learned of your
arrival in town, and he is
most anxious to meet you.
Oh, I'm sorry, but...
Perhaps you've heard of him.
- Horatio Baldwin?
- Horrible Horatio?
- That's right, son.
- And precisely what or who
is a Horrible Horatio?
Mr. Baldwin operates various
theme parks throughout the country.
As a matter of fact, today
at noon he's previewing
his latest venture...
Horatio's House of Horrors.
It's just for press and
a few close friends. But
he would really love
it if you could join us.
Hey, that's neat!
Could we, Aunt Jess?
Could we? Billy,
I don't think...
- Could we, please?
- I wanna go too!
No. No! No!
Wait! Wait! This is an error!
A grave error. Oh, please, no!
You don't understand!
Oh, boy! Too bad Bert can't be
here. He's my biggest kid of all.
♪ [Drums Continue]
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Witness all ye assembled here...
that for various crimes
against the people,
Horatio Baldwin must
now suffer the judgment...
rendered unto him
by a jury of his peers.
Executioner, do your duty.
No! No! Wait!
Wait! This is an error!
Wow! No! No!
What are they doing? They're
gonna hang him, dummy.
But it's only pretend,
Cindy. It's just a game.
My friends, I swear on
my honor. I meant no harm!
I only meant to titillate you!
Is there no one here
who will come to my aid?
♪ [Fanfare]
Fear not, sir! I shall deliver
you from this ghastly fate!
[Applause]
[All Gasping]
Good Lord, no! A knife!
Quick! Has anybody got a knife?
[Man]Somebody call an
ambulance! Get a doctor! Jess!
Get in there! Help him, quick!
[Sinister Laughter]
I am quite all right, my
friends, I assure you.
I hope this little diversion
didn't distress you too deeply.
It was all in fun. My
friends, I bid you welcome!
[Applause]
Wow! What a gross-out.
What happened?
Nothing, dear. They
were just playing a big joke.
Well, did you enjoy
our little stunt? Frankly,
Mr. Gardner, I found
it quite appalling.
Mr. Baldwin is ready to meet
with you now, Mrs. Fletcher.
And in the meantime, I'll arrange for
the family to tour the rest of the park.
My dear Mrs. Fletcher,
how good of you to come.
How could I refuse? I had two
loaded children pointed at my head.
Come. Let me show you around.
I don't want to be rude, Mr. Baldwin,
but my family is waiting for me.
I'll only need a few minutes
of your time, dear lady.
It must seem bizarre having an office
complex like this beneath the park.
Well, perhaps you have
an aversion to sunshine.
No, not sunshine.
Predatory competitors.
With access limited to
our elevator complex,
we've been able to keep
our secrets to ourselves.
[Man] Mr. Baldwin!
I'm busy, Nils.
Yeah. You've been busy
for a couple of weeks now.
But you're not going to be so busy if the
city shuts you down for safety violations.
- I will talk to you later.
- It's my name, Nils Highlander,
on those permits.
- It's my reputation at stake here.
- That's enough!
Exercise discretion, sir.
Nothing quite as temperamental
as a bullheaded Swede.
Shall we?
Mr. Baldwin, have you lured me
here to offer me some sort of job?
Please, Mrs. Fletcher, permit me
the seduction before you cry rape.
Come in, please.
Miss Bascomb, please see that
Mrs. Fletcher and I are not disturbed.
Yes, sir. Uh, sir?
You had an important
call from Mr. Carlson.
I'll be the judge of which calls
are important, Miss Bascomb.
Yes, sir.
My, that looks familiar.
It's terrific. It really is.
Oh, I'm delighted you
liked it. What's your name?
Laurie. Laurie Bascomb.
Well, Laurie, would you like me to
sign your book? I'd be so pleased.
You would? It would be
an honor, Mrs. Fletcher.
I'm trying to write
a book myself.
[Jessica] Are you? That's
wonderful. It's awfully hard work.
Oh, I know. Grim.
[Horatio] Mrs. Fletcher?
Perhaps that
could wait till later.
Oh, I think not, Mr. Baldwin.
[Knocking] Phil?
Arnold, I'm kind of busy
right now. She's here, Phil.
J.B. Fletcher. She
came. I can't believe it.
So, she came. So what?
You know what that means. Another park.
More red ink, more falsified accounts.
Arnold, if you don't like
the job, you should quit.
You know I can't do that
any more than you can.
Me quit?
No, I don't think
so. Didn't you hear?
The old boy's making me vice president.
He's gonna announce it tomorrow.
That's what he promised me two
years ago before he snatched it away.
He'll do the same to
you, Phil. Just watch.
The answer is no, Mr. Baldwin.
Don't be ridiculous.
This can't miss.
Horatio Baldwin presents J. B.
Fletcher's Mansion of Murder and Mayhem.
A panoply of blood and
gore, chills and thrills,
the screaming meemies
in three octaves.
The kids'll love it.
- The kids?
- Well, who do you think pays
to see this stuff?
Don’t you go to the movies?
When Cary Grant bowed
out, so did I. Violence.
That's what pays, Mrs. Fletcher.
That's money in the bank.
No. That's disgraceful.
Oh, come, come, dear lady.
Why this moral outrage?
I've read your books.
We're in the same business.
No, Mr. Baldwin. I write
for people who read.
You apparently stage
your bloodbaths for tots...
who have not yet learned
to differentiate between...
your sordid charades
and the real world.
- There's quite a difference.
- I'm not used to being refused.
Well, they do say a new
experience broadens the mind.
Excuse me.
I had the device put in to
keep unwanted visitors out.
I've never had to use
it to keep someone in.
Isn't that rather childish?
I can be a generous
friend, Mrs. Fletcher.
I can also be a
devastating enemy.
You must be a
terribly unhappy man.
What? I had a
student like you once.
He used to sulk and stamp his foot
when he couldn't get his own way.
I don't need your
dime-store psychoanalysis.
Perhaps not, Mr. Baldwin.
But you do need
to unlock this door.
My niece's husband is a
detective with the city police,
and I won't hesitate to have you
arrested on charges of forcible detainment.
[Chuckles]
Very well, my dear lady.
But I can assure you...
This conversation
is far from over.
Mickey, Mrs. Fletcher is going
to prove tougher than I suspected.
We're going to have to use your special
brand of research to turn her around.
[Gunshot]
Hey, Ned, you hear that?
Yeah. Sounded like a shot.
[Man] What's he doing
here this time of night?
And where's Miss Bascomb?
Yeah. She never leaves until he does.
Yeah.
He's got it bolted
from the inside.
Mr. Baldwin, are you in there?
Hey, Ned, what do we do?
Carlson's still here. I
better give him a call.
Yeah? Mr. Carlson?
Yeah, it's Ned
O'Brien with Security.
I'm sorry to disturb
you so late, but, well,
we heard a shot in
Mr. Baldwin's office.
We can't get in. It's
bolted from the inside.
What? Well, break in
the door! Use the fire ax
if you have to. You do
it now! I'm on my way!
He said, go in.
[O'Brien] Oh, my God.
Is he...
I don't know.
O'Brien!
[Billy] You should have seen
it, Dad. It was really great.
Everybody thought
the guy really got hung.
Hanged, Billy. Drapes are
hung. People are hanged.
Bert, can I fix you another
hamburger? No, I'm fine, Jess.
[Telephone Ringing]
[Carol] I'll get it.
Hello? Bert, it's for you.
Headquarters. Oh, come
on. It's Saturday night.
Gee, Aunt Jess, I sure hate to see
that other hamburger go to waste.
I'll just bet you would.
This is Donovan.
What?
When?
Yes, she's-she's here, but...
Yeah, okay. I understand.
Bert, what is it?
Horatio Baldwin... he's dead.
What? Dead?
And the captain wants
to talk to you, Jess.
Me? Whatever for?
I don't know exactly.
- All they said was that
Baldwin committed suicide.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- They seemed pretty sure.
- Well, they're wrong.
I met the gentleman. and, believe
me, suicide was not in his plans.
Mrs. Fletcher. Captain
Davis. Thank you for coming.
I know it's an
imposition. Not at all.
Bert, we've already questioned
most of the employees,
but we can't locate the secretary,
a woman named Laurie Bascomb.
I want an all-points on
her immediately. Yes, sir.
Excuse me, Captain. That sounds
as if Miss Bascomb is a suspect.
Just procedure, ma'am. Then
Horatio's death isn't a suicide.
That's right, Mrs. Fletcher.
It seems impossible,
but now we believe that
Horatio Baldwin was murdered.
At 7:15, there were only a
handful of people still at work,
including Baldwin.
Now, this door was shut,
bolted from the inside.
Yes, he demonstrated the
slide bolt to me. Very formidable.
Well, the guards heard a shot. They rushed
to the door, but they couldn't get in.
On orders from Phillip
Carlson... Carlson?
Baldwin's right-hand man. Ah.
They broke in the door. They
found Baldwin slumped over his desk,
a freshly fired pistol
in his right hand.
Watch your step, please.
As you can see,
there are no windows.
We are 30 feet under the ground. We are
surrounded on three sides by rock and dirt.
Oh, and if you're thinking
about a hidden door,
forget it. The boys have
been looking for hours.
Just a minute, Captain.
First, you said it
was not a suicide.
Now you've proved it
couldn't be anything but.
Yes, ma'am.
The medical examiner says that Horatio
Baldwin took a blow to the head here.
And he's pretty sure
that it was the blow
that was the cause of
death, not the gunshot.
Uh, pretty sure?
Actually, he's positive.
Well, Captain, what you’re
describing, that's impossible. I know that.
- Well?
- Hmm?
Mrs. Fletcher, in your books,
you have a way of
creating impossible murders
without their really
being impossible.
And you thought I
might have a few notions.
Yes, ma'am, something like that.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint
you, Captain. I haven't got a clue.
Yes, good morning.
My name is J.B. Fletcher.
I'm scheduled on your 10:00
a.m. flight to Kansas City.
I wonder, could I switch
to a later flight, if possible?
Yes, that would be fine.
Also, do you have anything
returning here this evening?
[Horatio Chuckling]
Don't be afraid, my friends.
Nothing frightening awaits you.
Oh, perhaps a moment or two
of panic, but we did warn you.
Seat belts pulled
tight? That's good.
And now, just sit
back... [Powering Down]
It's not the tape. I already
checked that on another machine.
Must be something in the relays.
Mr. Carlson? Oh!
Mr. Carlson, you're a hard man
to track down. I'm Jessica Fletcher.
Oh, it's a... It's a
pleasure to meet you.
Horatio said you'd
be talking to us. This is
Nils Highlander, our
construction foreman.
- Jessica Fletcher.
- We met fleetingly yesterday.
Did you manage to get your
problem straightened out?
I've got no problem, miss. I just
do my job the best I can, that's all.
[Telephone Ringing]
Excuse me. I programmed my
phone to forward my calls here.
Yeah, this is Nils.
No. No. No, you wait.
I'll be right there.
Amateurs. For help,
we've got amateurs.
Strange. Yesterday, he was
ready to throttle Horatio Baldwin.
Today, he has no problem.
You know, I find it hard
to believe what I keep
hearing, Mrs. Fletcher...
that Horatio was murdered.
The police believe
it's possible.
Believe me, it's not.
I entered the room not 30 seconds
after the security men broke in the door.
You could still smell the gunpowder. And
that door was bolted shut from the inside.
No way anyone
could have killed him.
Well, assuming that it
was murder, Mr. Carlson,
do you have any idea
of anyone who might...
Want the old boy dead?
Aside from me, that is.
Well, let me see.
There's his wife and
his business manager...
Madam Dracula and the
sleaze bag. That's two.
The bookkeeper, popcorn vendors, a dozen or
so groundskeepers, the entire steno pool.
Shall I continue?
Well, I must confess that I
didn't find Mr. Baldwin as lovable...
as his publicity
people painted him.
Face it, Mrs. Fletcher.
Beneath the Santa Claus smile...
beat the heart of a sewer rat.
Personally, I think Horatio
did the world a big favor.
But if it should turn out to be
otherwise, please tell me who to thank.
Excuse me. I have work to do.
Afternoon, ma'am. Help
you with your luggage?
I don't have any, but thanks.
Y'all must be goin' to Kansas City.
It oughta be leavin' in about 10
minutes. Oh, thank you very much.
And, ma'am, that flight'll be
leavin' from a special gate.
I'll show you. It's
down this way.
Well, my ticket agent said
it was Departure Gate B.
Yeah, well, they changed
it around at the last minute.
All this construction, you
know. It's right this way, ma'am.
I think I'd better check the desk.
That won't be necessary, Mrs. Fletcher.
We arranged special
transportation for you to Kansas City.
Well, thank you, Mr. Gardner, but
I've already made my arrangements.
Yes. And we've made ours too.
- Please.
- A gun? Surely you're joking.
On the contrary, I have someone who is
very anxious to meet you, Mrs. Fletcher.
Well, I'll accompany you, but not
because you're holding a gun on me,
but because my-my
curiosity is aroused.
There must be a rational explanation for
all this. [Woman] There is, Mrs. Fletcher.
I'm Erica Baldwin. Thank
you for accepting my invitation.
Oh, I never refuse messengers
bearing deadly weapons.
I'll tell the pilot we're
ready for takeoff.
Please, sit down. Thank you.
Would you like a drink?
Oh, no, no, thank you.
Black is very becoming to you.
This? I only wear it
on special occasions.
Four husbands and four funerals?
You may be in danger of wearing it out.
You know my reputation, Mrs. Fletcher.
My nephew Bert
has been filling me in.
Mrs. Erica Baldwin,
one-time showgirl, now
America's wealthiest widow...
thanks to the untimely
demise of three...
Now four... husbands.
Would it surprise you if I said
I loved Horatio very deeply?
Yes, it would.
Then I won't say it.
Since Mr. Gardner risked bringing
me here at the point of a gun,
I assume he feels a very
strong attachment to you.
For the past two years, Horatio
chose a celibate life, Mrs. Fletcher.
With Michael's
cooperation, I didn't.
I see. I understand...
the police aren't convinced
my husband committed
suicide... that they
think he was murdered.
They're exploring the idea.
"They"? What about you?
I'm concerned about the fate of a very
nice young lady named Laurie Bascomb.
But if you've shanghaied me here to
persuade me to stop, you're out of luck.
That's not it at all, Mrs. Fletcher.
We seriously want you to continue.
As a matter of fact, we...
That is... Mrs. Baldwin...
is willing to pay you $100,000 if you
can prove that Horatio was murdered.
I neither need nor want
your money, Mrs. Baldwin.
Then give it to the
starving orphans. They do.
I'm sorry. I'm confused.
Forgive me. As his
principal heir, Mrs. Baldwin,
I should have thought
that proving murder
would be the last thing
that you would want.
What I want is ready cash.
Horatio's holdings
are heavily mortgaged.
On the other hand,
1 1 months ago,
he took out a life insurance
policy worth two million dollars.
And somewhere
in the fine print...
is a clause relieving the company of
responsibility if Horatio kills himself.
I told ya she was sharp.
So, you see, Mrs. Fletcher,
I desperately need you to prove
that the impossible was possible.
[Man Over P.A.] Ready
for takeoff, Mrs. Baldwin.
Please fasten your seat belts.
I don't have the faintest
idea how I could do that.
But you're going to try.
Oh, Jess, here you are. We've
been so worried. I'm so sorry.
I tried to call you several times
from the airport, but the line was busy.
Oh, Jess, we have company.
Laurie! Mrs. Fletcher.
I wanted to call you. I
didn't know what to do.
Oh, it's all right, child.
No, it's not all right.
Horatio Baldwin is
dead, and I killed him.
Let's get one thing straight.
You did not kill Horatio Baldwin.
But if I hadn't left him
alone... I was under orders...
to stay at my desk
until he left for the night.
And instead, you got into a
knockdown, drag-out fight.
Well, that only goes to
prove that you're human.
Now, Laurie, please, tell
us exactly what happened...
between you and
Mr. Baldwin the night he died.
It was ugly, Mrs.
Fletcher. I wanted to quit.
I couldn't stand it anymore,
the way he used people.
He threatened me. I
begged him to let me go.
He said he was going to reveal
certain things about my past.
When he went back into
his office, I followed him.
He was acting like a madman,
taking delight in my desperation.
I could have killed
him then and there.
I ran out of the room. He
followed me to the doorway.
He said I'd never work again. I knew
he had all the power, but I didn't care.
I just wanted to get away.
And all he did was laugh,
went back into the
room, shutting the door.
I heard the bolt
slam into place.
That was about
a quarter to 7:00.
I swear to you... He
was in that room alone,
the door bolted, when I left.
You said he threatened
you. Do you mean blackmail?
We're not looking for details,
but if he was blackmailing you,
he may have had his thumbprints
on several other people as well.
He had files on
Arnold, Carlson, Nils,
all his key people, but I don't
know where he kept them.
I should say in his
office. All those security
precautions. He wouldn't
hide them anywhere else.
Jess, we went over
that office top to bottom.
But you were looking for a
door, Bert, not a cubbyhole.
That's great.
Block it off there.
Now let's get that wagon
over against that wall.
[Bert] We've looked
up there several times.
Shh. I'm trying to
reason this thing out.
Try not to fall asleep.
Donovan!
Morning, Captain. I understand
you have the Bascomb woman.
- Yes, sir, and I've questioned her.
- Why haven't you arrested her?
Well, um...
Excuse me. So, uh,
what's going on here?
We're searching for
Horatio's secret hiding place.
Lieutenant, you've searched this room
12 times. Nobody could've hidden in here.
[Bert] Not a person. Files.
Secret files. [Carlson]
What secret files?
[Bert] Don't give me that. You
know exactly what I'm talking about.
[Davis] Well, I
don't. Blackmail, sir.
Baldwin had dirt on just
about everyone in the company.
It's how he kept their
loyalty. Now, Mrs. Fletcher
believes the files are hidden
somewhere in this office.
Is that right, Mrs... Jessica?
[Davis] My God, she's gone!
Bert, what would you say
the temperature is in here?
- The temperature?
- It's an even 68,
controlled by a central unit.
Uh-huh. Well, in that
case, why would a man...
have a built-in
thermostat on his desk?
- What? Something?
- Soot.
- What are you doing?
- Mr. Baldwin was an obsessive gadgeteer.
It seems to me if he
wanted to hide a secret,
what better place
than out in plain sight.
[Bert] Empty.
So much for suicide.
Whoever murdered Horatio
stole those files, faked the suicide...
And made his getaway through an oak
door sealed shut by a six-inch steel bolt?
No, Lieutenant, I'm sorry. I'm
a lousy audience for fairy tales.
I hope you'll excuse me.
We open in less than 48 hours,
and I've got a lot of work to do.
For a man whose career
has been steeped in illusion,
Mr. Carlson has a
very closed mind.
[Davis] Well, Mrs. Fletcher, it appears
that you may be right about the files.
But that still doesn't bring us
any closer to solving the murder.
I'm not so sure, Captain.
True, we don't have the files.
But it seems to me
that Horatio Baldwin...
is hardly the sort of man who
would've done his own dirty work.
Right. He had someone
working for him.
Someone who knew
what was in those files.
Now all we have to do is to
find out who that someone is.
Um, I have a reservation on the
9:15 flight to Mexico City. Megrim.
The name's Arnold Megrim.
Oh, yes, Mr. Megrim.
One moment, please.
[Man] Code five. Code five.
It's the guy we've been
waiting for. Terminal 2.
Here we are, Mr. Megrim.
First class to Mexico City.
Flight 366, leaving at 9:15.
Just this one piece of
luggage, sir? Uh, yeah.
I'll carry this one.
Hold it! Hold it, there!
Get out of my way!
Get out of my way!
No! It's my money!
This is my money! It's mine!
This is mine! No!
No! It's my money! No!
I swear to you, Lieutenant.
That money is mine.
I earned it. Every penny.
110,000 in cash?
Ten years of my life.
My years of servitude
to Horatio Baldwin.
What about these, Mr. Megrim?
I never saw them before, Lieutenant.
I'm a bookkeeper, not a killer.
Well, according to these,
you're also an embezzler.
Eleven years ago, Felson
Brothers Mine and Foundry.
I never stole a dime from
that company. It was...
It was taken by Wanda
Perlstein, my associate.
Actually, she was
more than my associate.
She was... What's
the difference?
Mr. Megrim, I can understand you
being forced to stay by Mr. Baldwin,
but what I can't
understand is why you ran.
Well, I received a phone call.
It was a man, I think. The
voice seemed disguised.
He said the police had the files... that
they'd be picking me up. I-I panicked.
And it was a phone call that alerted
airport security to search his luggage.
Lieutenant, I was wondering,
could I go now, please?
I left my little cat in
the care of my landlord,
but I-I really have
been worrying about her.
Sure. Just don't go
anywhere we can't find you.
How could I go anywhere?
You've got it
all... every penny.
I don't know, Jess.
What do you think?
Well, for one thing, I just
wonder if this material is accurate.
I mean, for instance,
this file on Carlson...
That he ran off to Canada
during the Vietnam crisis.
I mean, that is not a
devastating revelation.
No, it's not. There's
another thing, Bert.
Did you notice?
One name is conspicuously
missing on that list.
Michael Gardner,
the business manager.
[Cat Meowing]
A cat? I must be losin' my mind.
What's a damn cat doin' up here?
[Meowing Continues]
Aw, come on!
Kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty.
[Meowing Continues]
What is this, a joke?
[Yelling]
[Bert] Right. Got it.
Okay, thanks, Ray.
Morning. Mmm, you're sexy
at this hour of the morning.
You finally noticed.
You want some coffee?
I'll get it.
So what happened? Did
Gardner really kill himself?
Maybe somebody
helped him over the ledge.
There's no way to tell.
Ray did dig up a
couple of things.
Gardner's name was
really Mickey Baumgarten,
an ex-private investigator
out of New York...
who was Baldwin's
private bloodhound.
We found some more
stuff in his apartment.
Wait till you hear this. He was trying to
dig up something on your Aunt Jessica.
You're kidding? Who was next
on his list, the pope? Probably.
- Speaking of your aunt, where is she?
- She went over to the House of Horrors...
to take another look
at Baldwin's office.
I assumed you
knew. No, I didn't.
Damn.
There's a private line into that
office. What is that number?
It's 555-1998.
Anybody here? Oh, Mrs. Fletcher.
Good morning, Ned. Your friend
let me in. I hope you don't mind.
Oh, no, ma'am. How's it going?
Not very well, I'm afraid.
Geez. I, uh... I wish
I could help you.
I was right here, and,
believe me, there's no
way it could've been
anything but a suicide.
[Telephone
Ringing] I'll get that.
Hello? Yeah, this
is O'Brien, Security.
Oh, Lieutenant. Yeah, she's, uh...
she's right here. Hang on. Mrs. Fletcher?
It's a Lieutenant Donovan.
You can take it in there.
I'll get it. Thank you.
Good morning, Bert.
Oh, don't be silly.
I'm perfectly all right.
Look Bert, would you
stop treating me as if I'm...
Well, all right, I'm...
Well, I'm leaving. Bye.
- Ned?
- Yes, ma'am?
Ned, those phones and these phones in
here, they're all on the same lines, right?
Uh, yes, ma'am.
1998 and 1999. Yeah.
- And if they're being used, these
little buttons would all light up, right?
- Right.
And if someone were to call in
on 1998 and the line was busy,
it would automatically
kick over to 1999.
Right again.
So if I used
1998... to dial 1998,
the call would come in on 1999.
Sure. But why would
you wanna do that?
Now, that light should
be lit, and it's not.
Ned, be a dear. Go in there and
pick up the receiver on the phone.
Okay.
Hey, this phone should be ringing!
Yes, I know. Please, pick up the receiver.
- Hello, Mrs. Fletcher? Are you there?
- Yes, I'm right here.
Mrs. Fletcher, excuse my French,
but just what the
hell is going on here?
Nothing significant, Ned.
I have just figured out
who killed Horatio Baldwin...
and how it was done.
[Knocking] Yo!
Excuse me, Mr. Carlson.
Yeah, O'Brien?
While you were out,
Mrs. Fletcher called.
She'd like you to
call her at her niece's.
She said it was
really important.
Thanks.
[Jessica] Hello? Mrs. Fletcher?
Yes? It's Phillip Carlson.
Oh, Mr. Carlson, thank you
so much for getting back to me.
I suppose you heard
about poor Mr. Gardner.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Tragic.
Well, apparently he had some
files that he had microfilmed.
Microfilmed? Yes.
And I have reason to believe they
are hidden in the Tunnel of Horrors.
Of course, my niece's
husband thinks I'm bonkers.
Does he really? Mr. Carlson,
believe me, I am not addled.
I know right where
that microfilm is,
and so do you if
you think about it.
An attraction that isn't
quite working right?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, I remember.
Could we meet with the
blueprints in, say, 40 minutes?
It will take that long
to get across town.
Yes. Sure. Forty minutes.
I'll see you then.
[Door Opens]
[Chuckling] Don't
be afraid, my friends.
Nothing frightening awaits you.
Oh, perhaps a moment or two
of panic, but we did warn you.
Seat belts pulled tight?
That's good. And
now... [Powering Down]
just sit back...
How wonderful, Mr. Carlson.
You've found our prize.
[Chuckles] Mrs. Fletcher,
you surprised me.
How did you get over
here so quickly? I just
spoke to you from
the other side of town.
Oh, yes, I had the
call automatically
forwarded to a phone
just a block from here.
But I don't have to tell you
about call forwarding, do I?
[Chuckles] I-I-I don't know
what you're talking about.
Don't you? That's how
you killed Horatio Baldwin.
That, and a little misdirection.
Why’d you do it, Mr. Carlson?
Did he renege on a promise
to make you a vice president?
You're crazy. Am I?
Whoever planted those
blackmail files on Arnold Megrim...
would have first replaced his own
file with something less incriminating.
That's why you killed Gardner...
Because he knew what Horatio
Baldwin really had on you.
That's why you have
to destroy that microfilm.
You're clever, Mrs. Fletcher.
Clever.
Guns, guns. That's
all you people know.
Baldwin. Gardner.
What's one more killing?
You can't expect to get away
with murder. But I already have.
[Bert] Freeze right
there, Carlson!
Drop the gun. Kick it to me.
[Drops Gun]
Thank you, Mr. Highlander.
The illusion was perfect.
Good thing it was.
You got lucky, Mrs. Fletcher. I
didn't know about the microfilm.
Microfilm? Oh, you
mean this? Oh, no.
This is just a roll of negative
from my trip last year to Spain.
The key to the mystery...
A telephone that wouldn't ring.
The fact is that Horatio Baldwin
was not alone in this room...
when O'Brien and the other
security guard heard the shot.
Carlson was here
in the room with him.
But that can't be. No?
Let me reconstruct
what we believe...
Or, rather, what Mrs.
Fletcher believes... Happened.
Jess, are you sure you
don't want to explain this?
Oh, don't be silly.
You're the policeman.
Well, jump in if
I get this wrong.
After Laurie and Horatio fought
and she left, Carlson showed up.
Horatio let him into the office.
Now, they quarreled.
Carlson had been promised
a promotion, but
Horatio changed his mind.
They struggled, and
Horatio either fell...
or was struck on the
head, killing him instantly.
Carlson panicked. He was the
only one working late that night.
He knew he'd be the obvious... if not
the only... suspect, so he devised a plan.
He hurried back to his own office, where
he got the pistol he kept hidden away.
Then he programmed
the telephone...
so that if a call came
in, it would automatically
be forwarded to
Horatio's telephone.
Oh, and keep in mind what
he was wearing that day...
Dark slacks and a dark
sweater over his shirt.
He returned to
Laurie's telephone and
disconnected the
lightbulb under the button.
Then he moved into the
office and bolted the door.
Next, he disconnected the
bell on Horatio's telephone...
so that if a call came in, someone standing
outside the door couldn't hear it ring.
And, finally, he propped
Horatio up at the desk,
placed the gun in his
hand, the barrel to his head,
and squeezed the
trigger. [Gunshot]
The sound of the
shot alerted O'Brien,
who rushed to the office, where he
was met by the other security guard.
Now, unable to get inside,
they did just what Carlson
expected them to do.
They phoned him
for instructions.
They thought they were reaching
Carlson in his own office, but actually...
he was taking the forwarded
call here in Horatio's office. Yeah?
Well, we heard a shot
in Mr. Baldwin's office,
and we can't get in. It's
bolted from the inside.
Well, break in the door!
Use the fire ax if you have to.
You do it now! I'm
on my way, okay?
Then he hung up. He moved to
the shadows next to the bolted door...
and pulled the black turtleneck
sweater up over his head.
In the darkness, totally dressed
in black, he was virtually invisible.
The guards broke
in, but, of course, they
were focusing on Horatio
slumped at his desk.
Oh, my God.
Classic misdirection.
They never saw Carlson exit the
room while their attention was diverted.
In the corridor, he quickly
got rid of the sweater,
turned and rushed back toward
the office, calling out as he did so.
O'Brien!
The guards turned
as Carlson entered,
and the illusion
worked perfectly.
To any reasonable person, there'd
been no murder. It had been a suicide.
You know, it might
have worked...
except for your
medical examiner.
Yeah. It was nearly perfect.
Except in this case, nearly
wasn't nearly good enough.
I still wish you'd have let
me bring Carol and the kids.
Just to wave
good-bye? Oh, dear, no.
I hate public good-byes.
Mrs. Fletcher, I really don't
know how I could ever thank you.
Well, first, by finally
calling me Jessica,
and, secondly, by starting
that book you want to write.
Now, this afternoon is
as good a time as any.
Oh, wouldn't I love to.
But I'm afraid I have to deal with reality
now, finding a job, paying the rent.
Incidentals. Erica Baldwin
gave me a little check...
as a token of her
appreciation, don't ask me why.
Considering how shabbily
her husband treated you,
I think it's right and proper
that you should have it.
Oh, no, I-I couldn't.
Oh, but I want you to.
I've already endorsed
it over to you.
[Man Over P.A., Indistinct]
There's my plane. Good-bye, Laurie.
Send me a signed first edition.
Absolutely, and thank you.
And you, Bert.
Give the kids another
hug and a kiss for me. I will.
See you next year. Okay.
Bye.
[Mouthing Words]