Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996): Season 1, Episode 3 - Hooray for Homicide - full transcript

When Jessica hears on TV that director-producer Jerry Lydecker is turning the movie after her respectable mystery book The Corps Danced At Midnight into cheap slash junk with sex and gore, she flies to Hollywood to protest, but studio boss Marty Strindberg, who sends her a junior lawyer, and Lydecker have a contract clause she signed waving her rights to object. When Jessica intends to apologize to Lydecker, she finds him killed on he set, and becomes the only obvious suspect. Fortunately LAPD Detective Mack Brody, an amateur mystery writer himself, has enough faith in Jessica to encourage her snooping and believe she saw evidence which disappeared during the minute she talked to the security guard. Lydecker's ruthless behavior and romantic affair with the unexperienced female co-star provide several possible motives...

You are changing my simple little
mystery into something unforgivably crass.

No, I'm turning your dull, little
book into an all-time hit picture.

What do I know about the picture? It's a
high school horror film with sexy dances.

You cut out every line
that required acting skills,

so you could get your little
playmate on the screen.

I know. Wanna go
skinny-dipping in the ocean?

- I used to live at the beach house.
- Do you have any questions
about the scene?

- We make love.
- This is a murder investigation.

Norman! Stop that man! Stop him!

[Seagulls Screeching]

[Chair Creaking]



I've decided to go back to
the bayonet. It's a lot cleaner.

[Ethan] How's that? Oh, I was
just talking to myself. Nothing.

[Clattering]

Ethan. Ethan! I'm
sorry. I'm trying to write.

That's all right. You're
not disturbing me.

Well, I'm glad to
hear it. [Chuckles]

I don't suppose there's
a quieter way of doing it?

No way that I know of.

[Clattering]

[Phone Ringing] Oh.

Hello. Hello, Agnes.

How nice to hear from
you. [Clattering Continues]

Agnes, I'm sorry. I can't talk right now.
I am in the middle of a crucial chapter.

[Clattering] Agnes, you're
gonna have to speak up.



Well, Ethan is fixing the drain.
He's under the sink. What?

Really? They're talking
about one of my books?

Well, maybe I could watch
for a couple of seconds.

Thanks so much for calling
me, Agnes. I'll call you right back.

[Man] Jerry Lydecker.

Jerry, why do we call you Hollywood's
most controversial producer?

Well, because you hate my
pictures. The critics hate my pictures.

Everybody hates my
pictures, except the public.

[Man] And today you started
shooting a new motion picture.

Yes. J. B. Fletcher's The
Corpse Danced at Midnight.

Now the Fletcher
book was a big success.

Do you anticipate
another box-office hit?

It's got everything today's young
moviegoers want. Music, sex and violence.

Too much violence
perhaps? What's too much?

I'm referring to the scene
where the psychotic killer

uses a flamethrower on
a group of break-dancers.

That's not my book. I
didn't write that. [Scoffs]

Looks like that Mr. Lydecker is putting
some of his own ideas into the movie.

Well, it's high time they
heard some of my ideas.

Calling the TV
station? My publisher.

I'm gonna put a stop to this nonsense
even if I have to fly out to Hollywood.

What do I know
about the picture?

Well, it's guaranteed
box office magic, that's all.

[Chuckles] It's a combination of
Halloween, Porky's and Flashdance.

You can't be serious.

[Laughs] Oh, yeah. You got yourself
a hot property here, Mrs. Fletcher.

You oughta follow it up real quick.
Have you written any other books like this?

I've never written
one book like that.

Look, I don't know what my
publisher told you, Mr. Strindberg,

but I didn't come out here to take
advantage of an intolerable situation.

Are you saying you don't
want a piece of the action?

I only want to determine
my legal rights...

to prevent that movie producer
from debasing my novel.

- I was told that you could help me.
- Mrs. Fletcher, I make deals.

And, apparently, you don't
want a deal. So what can I do?

Look, I'll tell ya. Uh, I'll
assign someone from my

staff to dig out your
contract and we'll be in touch.

When? Well, don't worry
about it. Relax. Enjoy yourself.

Is this your first trip to L.A.? Oh,
yes. But I wanna get this thing settled.

Well, you're gonna love it. You should
go to Disneyland. Farmer's Market.

Take a Hollywood tour. La
Brea Tar Pits. Have a ball.

I don't have time to... Mrs. Fletcher,
it has been great meeting you.

Let's have lunch sometime
before you fly back east, okay?

Thank you for you trouble,
Mr. Strindberg. Sure.

I am sorry to be
a pest about this,

but I am the author
of the book that is

supposedly the basis
of Mr. Lydecker's movie.

Look, I don't care if you’re Jackie
Collins. You can't get in without a pass.

Hold it. Hold it, Paddy.
I'll vouch for Mrs. Fletcher.

Put her down as my guest.
Sure thing, Miss Quintessa.

Hop in. That is so
nice of you. Thank you.

Oh, my goodness. I was beginning
to give up hope of ever getting inside.

I'm Marta Quintessa. I'm the costume
designer for The Corpse Danced at Midnight.

Okay. Great. Great. Get lost.

You lied to me, baby.

Jerry... I checked
with your drama coach.

You canceled
those extra sessions.

I meant to tell you.
Yeah, sure you did.

I just didn't want you to
be mad at me. [Exhales]

You're still lying. Eve, I
know you're seeing some guy.

No.

I don't wanna know
who he is... just stop.

Oh, Jerry... Stop.
Do you hear me?

You're doing okay, Eve.
A couple of nice pictures.

But you're not there yet.

When this picture's released,
you're gonna be a big star.

There won't be any room
in your life for anybody else.

[Man] Miss Crystal.
I'm your future, Eve.

Miss Crystal? Remember that.

- We're ready for rehearsal, Miss Crystal.
- She'll be right out.

Okay, sure. Whenever
she's ready, Mr. Lydecker.

I loved your book, Mrs. Fletcher, which
is more than I can say for the screenplay.

Jerry and the writer did a
wonderful job of trashing your story.

Well, I must confess, I haven't
read it. No one sent me a copy.

Oh, well, I've got an extra one
here. Why don't you take this?

How nice of you.

I hope you have a strong heart, darling,
and an even stronger stomach. [Both Laugh]

Jerry. Jerry. How come you
never return my telephone calls?

Nothing personal. I don't,
uh, return anybody's calls.

That's a good line. I'll use it. Listen,
my contracts finally came through.

The points you promised
me for writing the screenplay

under price... they're not
there. What happened?

Business Affairs. OH.
Just a mistake, huh?

They said it was more
than you were worth.

Listen, that's my
screenplay you're shooting in

there, and, uh, what
would you do without it?

Tell me about your Oscar nomination
when you were 25. You know my credits.

Yeah, I know your
credits. Aging wunderkind.

Burned out by pills and
booze before you were 30.

Look, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm also
a damn good writer, and you know that too.

Yeah? That's why I had to do a
page one rewrite on your script.

You cut out every line
that required acting skills,

so you could get your little
playmate on the screen.

Buddy boy, you just wrote your ticket
off this lot. I don't want you around.

You're bad news.

Yeah? Well, just remember. The
picture's not over till the credits roll.

Well, darling, it's good to see you
looking so cheerful in the morning.

Did you sleep well,
darling? I was looking for you.

I have a wonderful
surprise for you.

I would like you to meet Jessica
Fletcher, who is the original author.

Pleased to meet you. Uh,
Marta, we got a problem.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Lydecker,
but at your convenience,

I'd like a few minutes of your time to
talk about our picture. Maybe later, okay?

Well, could you
be more specific?

I mean, after all, this is something
of great importance to me.

- My office, first thing
after lunch, all right?
- Thank you.

Eve's costumes. The marching
band sequence, the glitzy number?

She hates it. She says it
makes her look like a kid.

Does she know she's
playing a teenager?

Sex it up. Cut it lower in
front, higher on the sides.

Darling, if I cut it higher,
there'll be nothing left but a belt.

Jerry, I refuse to
be treated this way.

That girl knows
nothing about costumes.

All right. Quiet people,
please. For rehearsal.

[Man] Jenny is earthy, sexy,
sensual. She's a wild female animal...

who will do anything
for the boy that she loves.

But-But, why does he want
to do it in a cemetery? It's sick.

Yes, but remember, his friends
have been horribly murdered.

He's defying death
with an act of joy.

Then he knows the killer's watching?
No, no, sweetheart. It's symbolic.

He's in this cold, grim, dead place
with this wild, warm, compliant woman.

Sounds kinky.
No, no, no. It's rich.

Hi. How are you?

Hey, Ross, Ross.
Listen, I'm sorry I'm late.

Those stupid makeup people
wanted to put body makeup all over me.

Can you believe it? With
my tan? You look great, Scott.

Do you have any questions
about the scene? We make love.

All right. Let's do it. Go
to number one positions.

This is a complete dress rehearsal.
I want everyone out of here.

Okay. Let's clear the set, please. Let's
clear everybody. That means everybody.

[Buzzer Buzzes]
Everything works for this one.

Everyone in position.
Shoot the rehearsal!

All right. Nobody stop in this.

We're gonna go all
the way in this one.

[Man] Wait. Over here.

[Ross] Everyone out of here, please.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

Sorry, you're gonna have
to leave, ma'am. Why?

Well, we're clearing the set for
the nude scene. Come on. Please.

Come on. Nudity is
necessary for the story.

It reveals Jenny’s
true character.

In my story, "Jenny" was "Johnny," the
10-year-old son of a Presbyterian minister,

and he didn't take off
his shirt in 200 pages.

So I made a few changes.
Mr. Lydecker, I don't want to carp,

but, quite honestly, you
are changing my simple

little mystery into
something unforgivably crass.

No. I'm turning your dull, little
book into an all-time hit picture.

But, surely, that's why you bought
it was because it was a best seller.

Wrong. [Chuckles]

I bought it for
the title. I see.

Well, it so happens that my name and
my reputation are attached to that title.

Now, I don't want to
seem disagreeable, but I do

believe that I have a right
to protect my interests.

Wrong again. I
bought your rights.

You can't stop me from doing
whatever I want to your story.

Just because the Almighty
gave people a taste for lobsters...

doesn't mean that he gave
lobsters a taste for being boiled alive.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lydecker, but I'm
going to do whatever I have to do...

to stop this picture being made.

[Knocking] Yes?

Mrs. Fletcher? Yes.

I'm from Carr,
Strindberg and Roth.

Which one are you? [Laughs]
Actually, none of the above.

I'm Norman Lester, a
junior member with the firm.

Marty Strindberg sent me.
Oh. Come inside, please.

Thank you. Sorry if
I look disappointed,

but I was expecting a pot of tea
and room service with some aspirin.

I saw Mr. Lydecker
today, and I...

I'm afraid that I completely
lost my temper with him.

Yes, well... [Chuckling]
he-he has that effect on people.

Well, uh, Mrs. Fletcher,
I searched our file,

and I finally found a copy of the
contract with your original publisher.

Oh, good. Suddenly,
I feel so much better.

Uh... [Clears Throat] "Whereas
the party of the first par"...

Uh, that's the publisher...
And uh, "does hereby"...

Excuse me, Norman. Hmm?

May I read this, please?

Well, you may not be able
to read it. It's in legalese.

[Sighs]

[Tsks] Oh, my.

- Are you all right?
- I can't believe that I signed this.

Mr. Lydecker was correct.

I signed away my right
to interfere with the film.

[Paper Crumples]
Oh, I feel so foolish.

Well, I guess there's nothing
else to do but to make amends.

- Make what?
- As painful as it sounds,

I owe Mr. Lydecker an apology.

Mr. Lydecker is not in.

He went to the screening room and from
there he was going directly to the set.

I assume you mean Stage 3?

No, they wrapped early for the day. I
suggest you call Mr. Lydecker tomorrow.

What I must do cannot be done
on the telephone. Excuse me.

Mr. Lydecker?

Mr. Lydecker?

Excuse me, lady. How come you're
sneaking around a deserted soundstage?

Oh, I was gonna get-get the police. There's
been a dreadful accident here on the set.

Yeah, well, why don't we
just go have a look, huh? Uh.

It's right over there. You see?
Right there behind the stone.

- Mr. Lydecker.
- I'm afraid he's dead.

I believe he was hit over the
head with that heavy metal urn.

- Security, we have a murder on Stage 3.
- Say what?

Murder, Charlie, and I
think I got ahold of the killer.

[Scoffs]

Cover him. [Clears Throat]

Excuse me. Uh, did
you lose something?

A gold button with a very interesting
design. Only I didn't lose it. I found it.

Right there. Next to the
body. Okay, okay. Come on.

Let me see it. Well, I
certainly didn't pick it up.

I left it right there, untouched.
It could be a very valuable clue.

[Exhales Loudly]

I... I don't see
any gold button.

Well, neither do I,
but it was right there.

When I went to call for help, I
was only gone about 30 seconds.

So the button
disappeared in 30 seconds?

Maybe the killer was
hiding behind the set.

Now he saw me find it, and he
realized it could be incriminating,

so he grabbed it while I was
talking to the... to the guard,

and then he slipped
out of the building.

That's a very interesting
theory. You have any

thoughts about the Jimmy
Hoffa disappearance?

There's no need to be
sarcastic, Lieutenant.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch your
name. Hernandez. Mike Hernandez.

And you are? Oh.
Jessica Fletcher.

Fletcher? Isn't that the guy who wrote
the book that Lydecker was filming?

Got a couple of
initials up front. What...

J. B. "B" for Beatrice.

That's you, isn't it?
Hey, this is terrific.

It's a pleasure to meet you.
I do a little writing myself.

Oh. Well, I've
never sold anything.

But I've got a screenplay with an agent.
There's some interest in it for a TV movie.

How nice. Yeah. Listen, J.B.

Careful, watch your step. Do you
have any theories about the murder?

Oh, I leave theories to
the experts, Lieutenant.

I'm only a mystery
writer. I'm not a detective.

Excuse me. Excuse me. What
the hell is going on in here?

Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it.

Lieutenant Hernandez.
Who are you?

Ross Haley. I'm
directing this picture. This

is Marta Quintessa.
She's doing the costumes.

- Why are all you police here?
- Hasn't anybody told you yet?

No, Lieutenant. We were in the Ladies'
Wardrobe going over the costume changes.

Heard the sirens, went outside, saw
the police car in front of the soundstage.

- Ross, I think there's been an accident.
- No, no. No accident.

Who is it?

- [Marta Gasps]
- Whoa. Take it easy.

Get her over here.
Come right over here.

Help her... Let her sit down right
there. That's good. That's right.

Take a deep breath, sweetheart. Fill your
lungs with air. That's better. That's...

[Gasps] That's better. It must
have been a terrible shock to you.

I'm gonna get you some
cold water. Oh, thank you.

Do either of you know anybody who
might have had a reason to kill Lydecker?

Anybody? What about everybody? Would
the suspects please form a double line.

Lieutenant, Jerry was not
exactly America's sweetheart.

Particularly after he
started this movie. I mean,

even his best friends
were beginning to hate him.

By the way, Lieutenant.
Sorry to bring this up,

but, uh, shouldn't
someone tell our star that

her-her star maker
has gone to his Maker?

- Oh, yes, Eve.
- Eve? Eve who?

Eve Crystal. She and
Jerry were, uh, quite close.

She left right after
the shooting today.

I'd tell her myself, but I have an
appointment with the studio brass.

Well, there's no
love lost between us.

I think it would only
make it worse if I told her.

Oh, dear. Well, I wouldn't want
to hear it on the 11:00 news.

I agree. You tell her.

Well, I-I thought the police were supposed
to do that. Not if we can get somebody.

Look, J.B., I'd appreciate it.

I'm gonna be tied up
here for quite a while.

If you don't mind, I'll get
somebody to drive you, okay?

Very well, I'll do
it. I'll take care of it.

Marta, can you tell me
where I can find her?

Yes, yes. She lives
at Jerry’s beach house.

Oh, Miss Crystal? Yes?

I was afraid I had the
wrong house. Do I know you?

Well, actually, we've never met. But I was
on the set today. You work at the studio?

No. The movie that you're starring in
though is based on a title that I wrote.

I'm Jessica Fletcher. Charmed.

- What a lovely place.
- Some scotch?

Oh, no. No, thank you.

Or a pill? Any color you like.

- Jerry has it all.
- Nothing for me, thank you.

I'm having enough
trouble coping with jet lag.

[Giggles] I'll drink to that.

[Giggles] Can't seem to hold
my liquor today. That's a joke.

Did Jerry send you here?

Where is Jerry?

Eve, I have something
very important to tell you.

Go on. But I want to be sure you're capable
of understanding what I have to say.

It's okay. I can hear
every single word.

This won't do.

[Laughs] You take
everything so serious.

You gotta relax a
little. Have some fun.

I know. Wanna go
skinny-dipping in the ocean?

Uh, Eve... Well, maybe a dash of
cold water is just what you need.

- Come with me.
- [Shrieking]

Lady, cut it out!

It's freezing! Okay.
Wrap up warm in this.

I'll go put the kettle on.
You get into something dry.

[Jessica] How do you feel?

[Chuckles] Okay.

Should've known better. I was so
tense when I got home from the studio.

I thought a couple of drinks
would make me feel better.

I couldn't stop. Guess
I shouldn't drink alone.

What time is it?
Why isn’t Jerry here?

Eve, listen to me.

Something tragic happened
at the studio after you left.

I'm so sorry to
have to tell you this,

but, Mr. Lydecker is dead.

Dead?

[Voice Breaks] I
don't believe it. He...

He can't be dead. Eve...

Well, what happened?
An accident? What?

I'm sorry, Eve, that there's
no easy way to tell you.

Somebody killed him.

God. [Crying]

[Man] Uh, Mrs. Fletcher...
Mrs.-Mrs... Over here. Come on.

Mrs. Fletcher, is it true
that you found the body?

Mrs. Fletcher, as a
prize-winning mystery writer, what

can you tell us about the
murder of Jerry Lydecker?

I have no idea. Now,
please, excuse me.

How are you involved in this real-life
crime? Give us a break, will ya?

Hey, this is okay. It is
quite charming, isn't it?

You mentioned some
questions, Lieutenant? Oh.

Yeah. Listen, J.B.,

when you discovered the body,
did you touch the murder weapon?

The metal urn? Certainly
not. I never touched anything.

Well, that's funny.

Someone took the trouble
to wipe off all the fingerprints,

and it's something an
ordinary killer in a big

hurry to get away probably
wouldn't think about.

But somebody might... But
it's the sort of detail that...

an experienced mystery
writer wouldn't overlook, right?

You said it, J.B., not me.

Lieutenant Hernandez, are you seriously
suggesting that I murdered Jerry Lydecker?

Hey. Now, look. I don't think you
murdered anybody. Thank you.

But the captain is not a writer,
and he doesn't have my keen insight.

And the way he sees it, you didn't like
what Lydecker was doing to your book.

You had the opportunity, and you were
caught leaving the scene of the crime.

So, what do you think?

[Sighs] Put that way, I do
sound like a good suspect.

Look, J.B., if you've got
any ideas on this case,

this is the time to
share them with me.

[Laughs] Lieutenant Hernandez,

I have absolutely no intention of
trying to help you solve this murder.

I'm going back home to Maine
tomorrow on the noon plane.

Unless of course, that is
now out of the question.

I thought you might wanna
stick around. Anyway,

to see what Ross Haley
does with your picture?

Ross Haley, the director?
Also the producer.

As of two hours ago,
the studio decided to

go ahead with The
Corpse Danced at Midnight.

Hello. I know you.

Well, we haven't actually
met, but I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, sure. I loved your book.

I'm just sorry I couldn't put more
of it in my screenplay. So am I.

But, I understand your
difficulties, Mr. Gebhart.

Call me Allan. I'm only
Mr. Gebhart to my mother.

You were there the day
Jerry gave me the boot.

But guess what?
Ross invited me back.

Oh. I must say, I find the motion
picture business so confusing.

I mean, how can a
director also be a producer?

Well, these days, anybody
can be a producer. Even a writer.

Then I suppose it was
an opportunity for him?

Uh, in this town, Mrs.
Fletcher, we have two kinds

of people. Those working
and those in development.

The ones in development spend a
lot of time at the unemployment office.

Ross Haley was practically a
regular. Until this film came along.

Mr. Haley must be very
grateful. To Jerry? No way.

It was Ross's project
from day one until Jerry

horned his way in, dragging
little Eve behind him.

It was a payoff,
pure and simple.

Ross had to give up his
producer's credit or no Eve Crystal.

Now things are back to the way
they should've been. Mmm. I see.

You know, it seems to me
as if Mr. Lydecker's death

may have been a stroke
of good luck for Mr. Haley.

For all of us, Mrs. Fletcher.

With this picture, we could all make
it big. Now, come on. I'll show you.

♪ [Dance]

[Ross] Cut! Okay.
Kill the music.

Let's start clearing the
smoke. Get those doors open.

Jessica, you look so bewildered. Oh. I
must have misread the shooting schedule.

I could've sworn this called for a
high school marching band parade.

No. That was changed because
Eve's new costume isn't ready.

Not that there was
anything wrong with the old

one, but, uh, she likes
to make my life difficult.

[Chuckles] That
sounds catty. I'm sorry.

Well, you did mention there was no love
lost between you. That's putting it mildly.

I want some of this neon
to pulsate. Get rid of the car,

and you have too much smoke
over there, not enough here.

On the first day of
shooting, a party scene,

someone put real vodka
into her glass as a joke.

She turned bright red and accused
me of trying to ruin her scene.

Well, why pick on you? [Laughs]
Is it possible that you don't know?

Before Eve wiggled her way into Jerry’s
heart, I used to live at the beach house.

[Hernandez] Excuse me.
Uh, everybody hold up.

May I have your
attention, please?

Lieutenant, this
is a closed set.

And this is a
murder investigation.

Miss Finch, will you be
so kind as to point out

the person you saw
threaten Jerry Lydecker's life?

- She's the one. Mrs. Fletcher.
- [Murmuring]

That's ridiculous. I
never threatened him.

Uh, Miss Finch. Do you
recall her exact words?

Yes. She said, "I
promise you, Mr. Lydecker,

that I will do whatever I have to do
to stop you from making this picture."

[Scoffs] Well, I admit it sounds
rather provocative out of context...

Miss Finch, what did
she say to you yesterday...

when you suggested that
she phone Jerry Lydecker

instead of coming
to see him on the set?

She said, "What I must do
cannot be done on the telephone."

And then she
killed him. Rubbish.

Mrs. Fletcher, you better
come with us. Brody.

Good heavens. I
think I'm under arrest.

Hey, Arnold. I'm tired of being
jerked around on Ghetto Detective.

Now either you get me the deal I
want or I get a new agent. All right?

[Handset Slams In Cradle]

Lieutenant, don't you think it's time
you read me my rights? Not necessary.

Would you like a cup of coffee? No, I
don't want a cup of coffee. I want justice.

Relax. J.B., I'm not gonna
book you. At least not now.

Well, why'd you bring me in?
Ah-ha. To throw off the real killer...

and to give you a
chance to do your thing.

Having someone accuse me of murder
in front of all those people was a ploy?

Not necessarily. That secretary
did hear you make that accusation.

And, frankly, J.B., you've been upgraded
from a good suspect to the prime suspect.

The D.A. thinks that
he can get a conviction

based on that evidence.
What do you think?

Ah, see? I know
you better than that.

And I said to the D.A., I said,

"Hey, you watch.

This lady is gonna clear herself
by coming up with the real killer."

- And what if I don't?
- Well, then we're both in
a lot of trouble.

[Knocking] Is that you, Norman?

Yes. The door's
open. Come on in.

Mrs. Fletcher? Oh. Mrs.
Fletcher. Let me tell you...

As soon as Marty Strindberg
heard that you had been

arrested, he sent me
straight to police headquarters.

To spring me?
No. To make a deal.

He can get you anything you want at
Warners, Fox, Paramount... anywhere...

except for the studio where
your picture's being made.

On account of your
arrest, you've been banned

from the lot as a
disruptive influence.

Norman. Mrs. Fletcher.

Norman, would you like to
defend me on a murder charge?

Murd... Murder? Mrs. Fletcher, I'm not
a real-real lawyer. I'm in show business.

Well, we may be
able to avoid it, but it'll

take very hard work and
a good deal of research.

Are you game? Name
it. Mrs. Fletcher, I

will do anything to
stay out of a courtroom.

Good. Well, Norman, I want you to
look into Eve Crystal's medical records,

Allan Gebhart's battle with alcohol
and drugs, Ross Haley's financial status...

and Marta Quintessa's
relationship with Jerry Lydecker.

[Exhales Forcefully] Ah.

[Nervous Laugh] Mrs. Fletcher,
I don't know where to start.

Be resourceful. Meantime, I have a
few things to look into at the studio.

Do you have any contacts there?
Yes, but it won't do you any good.

They won't allow you
to set foot on the lot.

[Man] Is this what
you wanted to see?

Yes. I think so.

If you want to talk to me, you have
to push that little switch forward.

This switch? You got it.

Are you sure this is
the footage Mr. Lydecker

was watching just
before he was murdered?

Yes. I checked the reel
number myself. This is it.

Thank you,
Mr. Lester. My pleasure.

And please give my regards
to my nephew Norman,

who almost never comes by
for Friday night dinner anymore.

I'll tell him.

[Man] End marker. End
marker. End markers.

Hey, hey. Come on, guys.
Hey, come on. We gotta go.

Hey, come on. We gotta go.

[Shrieks, Giggles] [Man] Get
out of the way. Get out of the way.

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Bennet.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.

I thought you were in the slammer.
Well, that was just a police mistake.

I want you to know that I just
came from seeing some rushes.

It's so exciting to see my book come
alive, and you are absolutely wonderful.

Yeah? Thanks.

Say, um, could I give you
an autographed picture?

Just a little something
to take back to

Vermont with you. Why,
that's very thoughtful.

I just happen to have
a couple with me here.

I suppose once this
movie's over, you'll be an

even bigger star.
Matter of time, that's all.

Such a shame about Mr. Lydecker.

I'm sure he was a great
help to you in your career.

[Scoffs] About like a pair of
combat boots at a track meet.

[Laughs] There you are.

Oh, "Love and kisses,
Scott Bennet." How nice.

But wouldn't you
rather give this to Eve?

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the
impression that, you know, you were,

what do they call it, an
item, is that the term?

Bennet to the set, please. [Clears
Throat] Um, who told you about us?

Well, actually, Mr. Bennet,
you did. Just now.

Or, rather, you... We're
ready for you on the set.

You bore out what I
noted up on the screen.

Mr. Bennet. Wh-What?

You're wanted on the set. Now?

Yes. I don't want
to hold you up.

[Frustrated Sigh] Ross,
what the hell's going

on around here? I thought
this was a closed set.

[Jessica] You know,
it must be so difficult to

cope with those last-minute
costume changes.

You have no idea, Mrs. Fletcher.

- Oh, please. Call me Jessica.
- I'm Elinor.

You know, Elinor,
I was just thinking.

Our director and costume
designer were right here

in this room discussing
the new costume changes...

at the very moment that
Mr. Lydecker was murdered.

No.

According to the
director, they left together

soon after they
heard the police siren.

They left before the siren.

I was alone when I heard
it. It gave me goose bumps.

But they did leave
together? No. Separately.

I believe Miss Quintessa
left first. Did it matter?

Oh, not that I know of.

I suppose the police asked a lot of
questions about the original costumes.

They were only interested
in seeing the new costumes.

Mostly all I could show
them were the sketches.

You know, I'd be terribly
interested to see those

original costumes. I
heard they were gorgeous.

Ah. Come with me, Jessica.

Here. Look for yourself.

[Gasps] Breathtaking.

Oh, and all of these discarded.
It's a shame. That's what it is.

A wasteful, extravagant shame.

You know, I seem to recall a
drawing of a drum majorette's costume.

That's the only
costume that isn't here.

You wouldn't happen to
know where it is, would you?

Well, I know who took it
and never brought it back.

[Jessica Gasps]

Stop that man!

[Jessica] Norman! Stop him.

Let me go. [Norman] Who are you?

Ross Haley. Let me go.

What happened? Well, Mr. Haley
was hiding in Eve's dressing room,

and when I surprised him, he
shoved me aside and ran out the door.

All right. Search him, Brody. You
can't search me. I didn't do anything.

All right. Listen,
he's got a point.

I don't need any problems
with the Supreme Court.

Lieutenant, he
knocked me off my feet.

Oh, that's right. That's felonious
assault. Search him, Brody.

All right. Against the
car. Assume the position.

Spread your feet. Hands on
the hood. Now what happened?

I went into Eve's dressing room
because I was searching for the costume...

- Lieutenant.
- Hey, a gold button.

Isn't this the button that you saw
next to Jerry Lydecker's dead body?

That's it. It has the same design.
Well, that's good enough for me.

Haley was trying to plant
this button in Eve Crystal's

dressing room when
you caught him in the act.

Cuff him, Brody. I want
my lawyer, Hernandez.

You're not gonna
get away with this.

[Vehicle Drives A way]

Mrs. Fletcher, you did it.

You uncovered the real killer
and got yourself off the hook.

Well, Lieutenant Hernandez
seems to be of the same opinion.

Now, Norman, did you get
the information that I want?

Oh, yes, ma'am, and you
were dead-on. Listen to this.

Ross Haley mortgaged his house
on a couple of bad option deals.

He is overextended in every direction
and deeply in debt... [Snaps Fingers]

That's why he had to make this his
picture. He wanted to get credit for a hit.

And the rest. The rest?

The rest, Norman. Oh. Oh,
yeah. The rest. It's right here.

Allan Gebhart successfully kicked drugs
but is still having a problem with alcohol.

Eve Crystal has diabetes
mellitus and takes oral medication.

And Marta Quintessa? Oh. She
used to be Jerry Lydecker's mistress...

and once-once threatened
to turn him into a shish

kebab for fooling around
with younger women.

[Laughing] Norman, I
knew you could do it.

Mrs. Fletcher, could
I buy you a drink?

You cracked this case, and,
well, that calls for a party.

A party? That's
a brilliant idea.

Ooh! Oh. Here you go.

Oh, thank you. And thanks
to our gracious hostess...

for this lovely little farewell
get-together with my new friends.

I hate to say good-bye
to people that I like.

Marta. Oh, thank you.

- Eve.
- No. Thanks.

How about you,
tiger? Oh, you bet.

Perhaps you'd prefer a diet soda?
I'm sure Eve has some in the house.

Oh, yeah. It's in the
refrigerator. I'll get it.

Bring me one? Sure.

I hope this isn't going
to be too sentimental.

I have been known to weep buckets
over a verse in a greeting card.

I cry over greeting cards too, especially
when they say “Happy Birthday."

- [Laughing]
- Well, I see no reason
to let this stuff get warm. Skoal.

The man at the wine shop said that's
a very good vintage. He wouldn't know.

It went past his taste buds
too fast to even leave a flavor.

Scott, now you won't be able
to drink to Mrs. Fletcher's toast.

You're absolutely right, and
I must do something about it.

Eve. Thank you.

Dear lady, you're on.

If you don't mind, I'd like
to save my toast till last.

Okay. To The Corpse
Danced at Midnight.

The film that died at noon.

You're sure they won't
try to finish the film?

I mean, with a new director and
a new producer? Not a chance.

The top-grossing picture this week is
about sex-crazed teenagers on a cruise.

And, uh, Eve's studio
has asked her to do a

picture about sex-crazed
teenagers on safari.

Based on a Hemingway
short story. Oh. Poor Ernest.

To Jerry Lydecker,
wherever he may be.

You know, it's easy for
us to make fun of him,

but he really wasn't
such a terrible person.

Oh, tell me about it, darling.
He-He was always kind to me.

Well, I'll drink to that.
I might choke drinking

to Jerry. I prefer to
drink to your toast.

Well, you might choke
on my toast too, Allan.

To Ross Haley, a man
wrongfully accused of murder.

I have to be going.

I have decisions to make about
my life. New places. New people.

- I may get married.
- I have to go too.

Not that this hasn't been fun.

Tomorrow morning,
I'm starting a new

screenplay to try to
restore my self-esteem.

Well, I hope you'll send me a
copy if it's not too much trouble.

No trouble at all. Just don't make a book
out of it and do to me what I did to you.

I promise. [Laughs]

I refuse to say
good-bye to you, Jess.

Au revoir. Au revoir.

More champagne? No, I
wanna look good in the morning.

I have a breakfast meeting
with a guy from a TV

network who wants me
to star in a new series.

[Eve] Great. Tell me about it.

Well, there's nothing to
tell. Just another series.

Look, I gotta go work
out. In fact, I'm running

late for my health
club appointment now.

Scott, don't go. Look, I gotta
stay in shape. That's showbiz.

Look, I'll call you. I
really will. I'll call you.

And a very good-bye to you too, Mrs.
Fletcher. Good-bye, Scott. Good luck.

Thank you.

Well, party's over.

Did you, uh, really have
to say that about Ross?

It's true, you know.

He didn't kill Jerry Lydecker.

He was arrested. Oh,
he committed a crime.

He removed evidence
from the scene of the murder.

And according to his
confession with the police,

while I was trying to make myself
understood to the security guard,

he came onto the stage by
another entrance and found the body.

He also found a gold
button from a costume.

He knew at once who
had killed the producer.

But he wanted to protect
that person to finish the picture.

So he took the button and removed
the fingerprints from the urn...

and left the same
way that he'd come in.

There's still time to tell your story
to Lieutenant Hernandez, Eve.

I don't know what you're
talking about. Don’t you?

Mr. Lydecker caught
on to the fact that his

protégé was having
an affair with her costar.

It's not true. Oh, Eve. Your relationship
was obvious in the love sequence...

Mr. Lydecker saw just
before he went to the set.

He wanted to discuss the
costumes that you didn't like.

That would explain why you wore one
from a scene that hadn't been shot yet...

and that never will be shot.

Jerry told me he wanted
to drop Scott from the film.

Only a few of his scenes had
been shot, so they could be

restaged with another actor
at no great financial loss.

Jerry's words.

It would've ruined his career.

I begged Jerry not to
do it. He just laughed.

Don’t you see? I had to
do something to stop him.

I grabbed the nearest thing I
could get my hand on. A heavy urn.

He was going to spread the
word that Scott had been fired...

because he was trouble,
didn't bother to learn his lines.

Never showed up
at the set on time.

I didn't know I lost a button. I just ran
to the car and drove here in my costume.

Well, that's why Ross Haley couldn't find
your costume in your dressing room closet.

He was trying to return the
button when I walked in on him.

- Protecting me?
- No. Not you, Eve.

His picture. He desperately
needed a success.

Even a dreary,
secondhand success.

- How did you know?
- Well,

I didn't, not at first.

You fooled me with
your drunk scene.

People don't give you
enough credit as an actress.

It was only later that I started thinking
about what you were drinking that night.

I'm no expert,

but even I know that real drinkers
don't mix scotch whiskey with diet cola.

Then I remembered
Marta saying...

that someone put vodka
in your glass in a party

scene, and it caused
you to turn bright red.

Well, there is a
certain oral medication

that diabetics use that
could've caused that.

You're not a drinker.
You never were.

You knew somebody would
come to tell you about Mr. Lydecker,

and you knew that
you had to have an alibi.

I thought I could make it look as
though I'd been drinking alone for hours...

so no one would ever suspect.

Do you want me to
make the phone call?

You know, it's-it's funny.

I never wanted
to be a movie star.

It was all Jerry’s idea.

I would've done
anything for him.

Jerry. Scott.

I sure know how to pick
'em, don't I, Mrs. Fletcher?