Mr Inbetween (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Watch Out for Snakes - full transcript
Ray does favours but doesn't forgive.
Don't be mad. I got to.
Here you are, son.
Ah.
So, how long have you been here, then?
Shit... 16 years.
Yeah? That long?
It's been a while.
Wh-Where are you living?
I'm with Ray.
He's... He fixed up his garage,
so I'm in there.
- Is it comfy?
- Yeah.
Get a bit hot and then cold sometimes.
It's... I don't think it's
insulated, but, you know...
I've got my own space.
And I get to see a bit more
of Ray-Ray's daughter.
- He's got a daughter?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Brit-Brittany.
How old is she?
Nine.
How is Ray?
Eh.
He's-he's good.
Brucey needs you.
What's going on?
I'm stuck.
What do you mean?
In the fucking chair.
I can't get out of it.
Don't shake your bloody head at me.
It's not my fault.
Oh, grab his arm, will you?
Under the armpit.
On the count of three. One, two, three.
Thank fuck for that.
Thought I was gonna die
in the fucking thing.
Eh. If only.
Hey, get stuffed.
You all right?
- I'm all right, Dad.
- Steady?
Yeah.
- Okay. Thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
I'll see you again soon, eh?
- Hopefully.
- Good to... good to see you.
Love you.
Yeah. Love you.
Come on.
See you soon.
♪ Keep spinning, now I just sit
back and have a few women ♪
♪ Get your ass over here
and back up the kitty ♪
♪ I'll make it rain, make it rain... ♪
Need a favor, big fella.
A mate of mine...
You heard of Kate Hall? Kate Hall.
She's a... a journo at the Herald.
She covers their crime stuff.
She's writing a book.
Like, a-a true-crime book.
And she's looking for stories.
Wondering if you might want
to have a chat with her.
What's in it for me?
You'd be doing me a favor.
Come on, mate, it's an
old mate's daughter.
He's done a couple of favors
for me over the years,
and it'd be good to return the favor.
Nah.
Mate, come on.
I'm asking a favor as a friend, here.
No.
Thanks.
You know what, I wasn't
gonna mention this,
but, um...
do you have any idea
what you put me through
with that Davros shit?
- What?
- The Davros bullshit.
You know that was my
son-in-law's brother, right?
Do you know the trouble
that shit caused me?
He tried to fucking kill me.
I know that, but I had...
My son-in-law... he didn't
speak to me for six months.
Caused heaps of friction. All right?
Well, it's not my fucking fault.
You asked me to sit down with the guy,
- and I did.
- I know you did, mate,
and I appreciate that, but, shit...
it's not like I ask you for
heaps of favors, you know?
- Hi.
- How you going?
- I'm Kate.
- Nice to meet you.
In case you were wondering.
Uh, come through.
- Nice house.
- Thanks. Yeah.
- I like the old joints.
- Yeah, me too.
They've got more character
than new houses.
Yeah.
Uh, hey, do you want a drink?
Do you want a beer or a
glass of water or something?
I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.
Okay, sure. What kind?
Have you got any Earl Grey?
Yeah, yeah.
So... where'd you grow up?
About four hours out of Sydney.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, on a farm.
Mm. Do you mind my asking where?
No, I don't mind you asking.
Right. Um, what kind of farm was it?
It was a dairy farm.
Well, did you have a happy childhood?
It was all right.
Do you want to elaborate,
maybe, a bit on that?
So what's your book about?
Criminals, pretty much.
Yeah, I mean, I've, um,
interviewed a few people
so far, and it's just people
telling their stories.
Mm.
Look, I-I understand if you're
a little bit cagey about this,
and I-I totally get it.
But, um...
I just want you to know that
nothing's gonna go in the book
unless you're happy with it.
So I just want you, you know,
just to feel comfortable
to talk to me.
All right.
Cool.
Uh, do you mind if I, um, record?
- That's all right.
- Sure?
- Mm.
- Okay.
Let's put that there.
So maybe, I don't know...
do you want to start with
about how you got into it
and your first job, maybe?
I mean, it's a job, what do you mean?
What do you mean, job?
Well, your first, uh,
I don't know, hit, I mean...
Who told you I do hits?
Well, that's what Freddy
told me that you talked...
about, that, a little bit.
I mean, sorry, I might've
misunderstood that.
I didn't realize that...
That's just what Freddy said.
I mean, that's kind of why
I got you to... 'Cause I...
That's the sort of stuff I want
to talk about in the book.
Moist.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- Moist.
- Mm, mm.
- That's a good one.
Yeah. My grandmother...
- when I was a kid...
- Mm.
... she used to make this tea cake...
- Mm.
- ... and that was really moist.
She used to put cinnamon
on the top of it.
- Mm. Okay.
- Yeah. Lovely, lovely. Mm.
- Tea cake. Mm.
- Tea cake.
- Appendectomy.
- Appendectomy?
Yeah.
Appendectomy. Appendectomy.
What's that?
- You don't know what appendectomy is?
- No.
- It's where they take your bloody appendix out.
- They...
- take your appendix out, yeah.
- Yeah.
No, I knew that.
- Yeah, sure you did. Yeah.
- I knew that. And...
panties.
- Panties?
- Pant... Not when you say it,
like, when a chick says it.
- Mm.
- Like, when she says like, "Oh,
take off my panties."
Mm?
That's a good word. Moist panties.
- Moist panties?
- Yeah.
Well, you've outdone
yourself, haven't you?
- Well, thank you very much.
- Yeah.
Put two of your favorite words
together in a sentence, yeah.
- Well, you know...
- That's pretty good.
- ... quite the wordsmith.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you are.
- What do you reckon?
- Yeah, no, I like it.
Feel that.
Shit. Sharp.
Mm.
And it was good calamari, mate.
- Mm.
- Like, fresh. Fresh as.
- Not the frozen shit, you know?
- Mm.
The shit you get from the fishmongers.
- Mm.
- But what happened was
is that when I put it in the fridge,
I've left it in the bag
that I bought it in.
Yeah.
So when I've gone to cook it,
it's been in there for a couple of days
- and I've taken it out...
- Mm. Mm.
- Fucking stunk.
- Yeah.
Just rank.
It's just gone all through the house.
What I should've done
when I bought it...
if I was gonna leave it in
there for a couple days...
I should've tipped it out,
- washed it...
- Yeah.
- Mm.
- ... thoroughly,
put it in a fresh plastic bag...
- Yeah.
- ... a new plastic bag,
then whacked it in the fridge.
- Mm.
- And then, you know,
probably would've had a chance
of lasting a couple more days, you know?
But it stewed in its own
juices, in its own filth,
- you know? So...
- Mm.
So it went off, and I
had to chuck it out,
and it was, like, a kilo of the shit,
- which, you know, bummed me.
- Mm. Mm.
But what really bummed me
- is I was watching one of those nature docos...
- Mm.
... and they had, uh,
they had a bit on octopuses
and... and, like, their
life cycle and shit.
- Mm.
- And I didn't know this, but...
do you know how octopuses have babies?
Mm-mmm.
The female octopus gets pregnant, right?
- Obviously.
- Mm.
And she lays eggs
underneath a rock, right?
And then she guards it.
Doesn't eat, doesn't sleep,
and just moves her tentacles
- over the eggs...
- Mm.
... for months and months
and months, right?
And just as the eggs hatch,
you know what happens?
She dies?
- She dies.
- Mm.
So I won't be eating calamari anymore.
Mm.
Calamari's squid, isn't it?
What?
No.
- Yeah.
- Hold on.
Yeah.
Calamari's squid, mate, not octopus.
So I can eat calamari?
Go for it.
Huh.
All right, then.
How many steel-framed
buildings in history
have collapsed due to fire?
I don't know.
Three. All on 9/11.
- Two.
- No.
Three.
You got the Twin Towers
and there was a third building.
Two were hit by a plane.
One wasn't hit by a plane.
That's Building 7... a couple
hundred meters down the road,
and that fell a few hours
later in under five seconds.
And they say it collapsed
because it got hit from
debris from the Twin Towers,
and then it started a fire,
and that's what caused it to fall.
A controlled demolition expert
said it was a controlled demolition.
- Got your radio on?
- Yeah.
All right. See you in a bit.
All right.
Watch out for snakes.
Come on, girl.
Come on, come on, now.
Come on, get up.
No, leave that. Come on, let's go.
Come on, girl.
Come on, girl.
Round the back, round the back, come on.
Leave that.
Vinnie!
- Vinnie!
- What?
Run!
Oh...
Oh, shit.
Get him! Fucking get him!
Hey, I'm on my way.
Fuck.
Go!
Go. Go, go, go.
Fuck!
You hit?
- No, I'm good.
- How'd you go?
Eh, not too good.
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.
Go.
"And so Jack went outside
and started to climb the beanstalk.
"He climbed up to the
sky through the clouds
and saw a beautiful castle."
How could he climb to the clouds?
Uh, he must've been really fit.
"So he saw the castle and went inside."
Why did he go inside?
Well, it was a
nice-looking castle and...
- he just wanted to check it out.
- Yeah, but that's not right.
You can't just go inside other
people's castles like that.
Yeah, look, I think you might
be a bit old for this story.
- Do you want to read something else?
- No. Keep going, I like it.
Okay, so, "Jack heard
a voice. 'Fee-fi-fo-fum.'
"Jack ran into a cupboard to
hide just as an enormous giant
"came into the room and sat down.
"On the table there was a
hen and a golden harp.
"'Lay,' said the giant.
The hen laid an egg.
"It was made of gold.
"'Sing,' said the giant.
The harp began to sing.
"Soon, the giant fell asleep.
"So Jack jumped out of the cupboard.
He took the hen and the harp
and he ran for the door."
- Wait, he stole them?
- What do you mean?
Why'd he take the hen and the harp?
- I don't know.
- But that's stealing.
Anyway, "Suddenly the
harp sang, 'Help, master!'
"The giant woke up and
shouted, 'Fee-fi-fo-fum.'
"Jack ran and started
climbing down the beanstalk
"and the giant chased after
him, hot on his tail.
"When Jack reached the ground,
"he looked up and he saw
the giant coming fast,
"so he grabbed an axe from the woodpile
"and started to chop at the beanstalk.
"After five chops, the beanstalk
crashed to the ground and
the giant was slayed."
- Slayed?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, he killed him.
- He killed him?
- Mm-hmm.
He was chasing after him, so...
Yeah, but he stole from him.
The giant was just trying
to get back the hen,
and he murdered him.
Ah, I missed a page.
So, the police visited Jack the next day
and they arrested him
for theft and murder
and he went to jail for
the rest of his life.
- The end.
- I don't like that story at all.
Yeah, well, I'm not a
big fan of it, either.
It's terrible. The poor giant.
Well, I guess the moral of the story is,
you know, don't, uh,
steal, don't murder,
or you'll go to jail for the
rest of your life, okay?
So don't do it.
That story sucks.
Mm. It does.
All right.
- Night.
- Good night.
Mwah.
Mm.
You ever read "Jack and the Beanstalk"?
It was a long time ago. Why?
Jack was a piece of shit.
Why do you say that?
Well, he climbs the beanstalk, right?
- Yeah.
- He goes into the giant's castle...
... steals a bloody harp...
... steals the goose
that lays a golden egg.
- Yeah.
- Steals it.
Runs off.
So the giant goes after him,
trying to get back all the
shit that Jack stole.
Uh-huh.
And while he's climbing
down the beanstalk...
Jack chops it down
and fucking murders him.
What a cunt.
Here you are, son.
Ah.
So, how long have you been here, then?
Shit... 16 years.
Yeah? That long?
It's been a while.
Wh-Where are you living?
I'm with Ray.
He's... He fixed up his garage,
so I'm in there.
- Is it comfy?
- Yeah.
Get a bit hot and then cold sometimes.
It's... I don't think it's
insulated, but, you know...
I've got my own space.
And I get to see a bit more
of Ray-Ray's daughter.
- He's got a daughter?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Brit-Brittany.
How old is she?
Nine.
How is Ray?
Eh.
He's-he's good.
Brucey needs you.
What's going on?
I'm stuck.
What do you mean?
In the fucking chair.
I can't get out of it.
Don't shake your bloody head at me.
It's not my fault.
Oh, grab his arm, will you?
Under the armpit.
On the count of three. One, two, three.
Thank fuck for that.
Thought I was gonna die
in the fucking thing.
Eh. If only.
Hey, get stuffed.
You all right?
- I'm all right, Dad.
- Steady?
Yeah.
- Okay. Thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
I'll see you again soon, eh?
- Hopefully.
- Good to... good to see you.
Love you.
Yeah. Love you.
Come on.
See you soon.
♪ Keep spinning, now I just sit
back and have a few women ♪
♪ Get your ass over here
and back up the kitty ♪
♪ I'll make it rain, make it rain... ♪
Need a favor, big fella.
A mate of mine...
You heard of Kate Hall? Kate Hall.
She's a... a journo at the Herald.
She covers their crime stuff.
She's writing a book.
Like, a-a true-crime book.
And she's looking for stories.
Wondering if you might want
to have a chat with her.
What's in it for me?
You'd be doing me a favor.
Come on, mate, it's an
old mate's daughter.
He's done a couple of favors
for me over the years,
and it'd be good to return the favor.
Nah.
Mate, come on.
I'm asking a favor as a friend, here.
No.
Thanks.
You know what, I wasn't
gonna mention this,
but, um...
do you have any idea
what you put me through
with that Davros shit?
- What?
- The Davros bullshit.
You know that was my
son-in-law's brother, right?
Do you know the trouble
that shit caused me?
He tried to fucking kill me.
I know that, but I had...
My son-in-law... he didn't
speak to me for six months.
Caused heaps of friction. All right?
Well, it's not my fucking fault.
You asked me to sit down with the guy,
- and I did.
- I know you did, mate,
and I appreciate that, but, shit...
it's not like I ask you for
heaps of favors, you know?
- Hi.
- How you going?
- I'm Kate.
- Nice to meet you.
In case you were wondering.
Uh, come through.
- Nice house.
- Thanks. Yeah.
- I like the old joints.
- Yeah, me too.
They've got more character
than new houses.
Yeah.
Uh, hey, do you want a drink?
Do you want a beer or a
glass of water or something?
I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.
Okay, sure. What kind?
Have you got any Earl Grey?
Yeah, yeah.
So... where'd you grow up?
About four hours out of Sydney.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, on a farm.
Mm. Do you mind my asking where?
No, I don't mind you asking.
Right. Um, what kind of farm was it?
It was a dairy farm.
Well, did you have a happy childhood?
It was all right.
Do you want to elaborate,
maybe, a bit on that?
So what's your book about?
Criminals, pretty much.
Yeah, I mean, I've, um,
interviewed a few people
so far, and it's just people
telling their stories.
Mm.
Look, I-I understand if you're
a little bit cagey about this,
and I-I totally get it.
But, um...
I just want you to know that
nothing's gonna go in the book
unless you're happy with it.
So I just want you, you know,
just to feel comfortable
to talk to me.
All right.
Cool.
Uh, do you mind if I, um, record?
- That's all right.
- Sure?
- Mm.
- Okay.
Let's put that there.
So maybe, I don't know...
do you want to start with
about how you got into it
and your first job, maybe?
I mean, it's a job, what do you mean?
What do you mean, job?
Well, your first, uh,
I don't know, hit, I mean...
Who told you I do hits?
Well, that's what Freddy
told me that you talked...
about, that, a little bit.
I mean, sorry, I might've
misunderstood that.
I didn't realize that...
That's just what Freddy said.
I mean, that's kind of why
I got you to... 'Cause I...
That's the sort of stuff I want
to talk about in the book.
Moist.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- Moist.
- Mm, mm.
- That's a good one.
Yeah. My grandmother...
- when I was a kid...
- Mm.
... she used to make this tea cake...
- Mm.
- ... and that was really moist.
She used to put cinnamon
on the top of it.
- Mm. Okay.
- Yeah. Lovely, lovely. Mm.
- Tea cake. Mm.
- Tea cake.
- Appendectomy.
- Appendectomy?
Yeah.
Appendectomy. Appendectomy.
What's that?
- You don't know what appendectomy is?
- No.
- It's where they take your bloody appendix out.
- They...
- take your appendix out, yeah.
- Yeah.
No, I knew that.
- Yeah, sure you did. Yeah.
- I knew that. And...
panties.
- Panties?
- Pant... Not when you say it,
like, when a chick says it.
- Mm.
- Like, when she says like, "Oh,
take off my panties."
Mm?
That's a good word. Moist panties.
- Moist panties?
- Yeah.
Well, you've outdone
yourself, haven't you?
- Well, thank you very much.
- Yeah.
Put two of your favorite words
together in a sentence, yeah.
- Well, you know...
- That's pretty good.
- ... quite the wordsmith.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you are.
- What do you reckon?
- Yeah, no, I like it.
Feel that.
Shit. Sharp.
Mm.
And it was good calamari, mate.
- Mm.
- Like, fresh. Fresh as.
- Not the frozen shit, you know?
- Mm.
The shit you get from the fishmongers.
- Mm.
- But what happened was
is that when I put it in the fridge,
I've left it in the bag
that I bought it in.
Yeah.
So when I've gone to cook it,
it's been in there for a couple of days
- and I've taken it out...
- Mm. Mm.
- Fucking stunk.
- Yeah.
Just rank.
It's just gone all through the house.
What I should've done
when I bought it...
if I was gonna leave it in
there for a couple days...
I should've tipped it out,
- washed it...
- Yeah.
- Mm.
- ... thoroughly,
put it in a fresh plastic bag...
- Yeah.
- ... a new plastic bag,
then whacked it in the fridge.
- Mm.
- And then, you know,
probably would've had a chance
of lasting a couple more days, you know?
But it stewed in its own
juices, in its own filth,
- you know? So...
- Mm.
So it went off, and I
had to chuck it out,
and it was, like, a kilo of the shit,
- which, you know, bummed me.
- Mm. Mm.
But what really bummed me
- is I was watching one of those nature docos...
- Mm.
... and they had, uh,
they had a bit on octopuses
and... and, like, their
life cycle and shit.
- Mm.
- And I didn't know this, but...
do you know how octopuses have babies?
Mm-mmm.
The female octopus gets pregnant, right?
- Obviously.
- Mm.
And she lays eggs
underneath a rock, right?
And then she guards it.
Doesn't eat, doesn't sleep,
and just moves her tentacles
- over the eggs...
- Mm.
... for months and months
and months, right?
And just as the eggs hatch,
you know what happens?
She dies?
- She dies.
- Mm.
So I won't be eating calamari anymore.
Mm.
Calamari's squid, isn't it?
What?
No.
- Yeah.
- Hold on.
Yeah.
Calamari's squid, mate, not octopus.
So I can eat calamari?
Go for it.
Huh.
All right, then.
How many steel-framed
buildings in history
have collapsed due to fire?
I don't know.
Three. All on 9/11.
- Two.
- No.
Three.
You got the Twin Towers
and there was a third building.
Two were hit by a plane.
One wasn't hit by a plane.
That's Building 7... a couple
hundred meters down the road,
and that fell a few hours
later in under five seconds.
And they say it collapsed
because it got hit from
debris from the Twin Towers,
and then it started a fire,
and that's what caused it to fall.
A controlled demolition expert
said it was a controlled demolition.
- Got your radio on?
- Yeah.
All right. See you in a bit.
All right.
Watch out for snakes.
Come on, girl.
Come on, come on, now.
Come on, get up.
No, leave that. Come on, let's go.
Come on, girl.
Come on, girl.
Round the back, round the back, come on.
Leave that.
Vinnie!
- Vinnie!
- What?
Run!
Oh...
Oh, shit.
Get him! Fucking get him!
Hey, I'm on my way.
Fuck.
Go!
Go. Go, go, go.
Fuck!
You hit?
- No, I'm good.
- How'd you go?
Eh, not too good.
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.
Go.
"And so Jack went outside
and started to climb the beanstalk.
"He climbed up to the
sky through the clouds
and saw a beautiful castle."
How could he climb to the clouds?
Uh, he must've been really fit.
"So he saw the castle and went inside."
Why did he go inside?
Well, it was a
nice-looking castle and...
- he just wanted to check it out.
- Yeah, but that's not right.
You can't just go inside other
people's castles like that.
Yeah, look, I think you might
be a bit old for this story.
- Do you want to read something else?
- No. Keep going, I like it.
Okay, so, "Jack heard
a voice. 'Fee-fi-fo-fum.'
"Jack ran into a cupboard to
hide just as an enormous giant
"came into the room and sat down.
"On the table there was a
hen and a golden harp.
"'Lay,' said the giant.
The hen laid an egg.
"It was made of gold.
"'Sing,' said the giant.
The harp began to sing.
"Soon, the giant fell asleep.
"So Jack jumped out of the cupboard.
He took the hen and the harp
and he ran for the door."
- Wait, he stole them?
- What do you mean?
Why'd he take the hen and the harp?
- I don't know.
- But that's stealing.
Anyway, "Suddenly the
harp sang, 'Help, master!'
"The giant woke up and
shouted, 'Fee-fi-fo-fum.'
"Jack ran and started
climbing down the beanstalk
"and the giant chased after
him, hot on his tail.
"When Jack reached the ground,
"he looked up and he saw
the giant coming fast,
"so he grabbed an axe from the woodpile
"and started to chop at the beanstalk.
"After five chops, the beanstalk
crashed to the ground and
the giant was slayed."
- Slayed?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, he killed him.
- He killed him?
- Mm-hmm.
He was chasing after him, so...
Yeah, but he stole from him.
The giant was just trying
to get back the hen,
and he murdered him.
Ah, I missed a page.
So, the police visited Jack the next day
and they arrested him
for theft and murder
and he went to jail for
the rest of his life.
- The end.
- I don't like that story at all.
Yeah, well, I'm not a
big fan of it, either.
It's terrible. The poor giant.
Well, I guess the moral of the story is,
you know, don't, uh,
steal, don't murder,
or you'll go to jail for the
rest of your life, okay?
So don't do it.
That story sucks.
Mm. It does.
All right.
- Night.
- Good night.
Mwah.
Mm.
You ever read "Jack and the Beanstalk"?
It was a long time ago. Why?
Jack was a piece of shit.
Why do you say that?
Well, he climbs the beanstalk, right?
- Yeah.
- He goes into the giant's castle...
... steals a bloody harp...
... steals the goose
that lays a golden egg.
- Yeah.
- Steals it.
Runs off.
So the giant goes after him,
trying to get back all the
shit that Jack stole.
Uh-huh.
And while he's climbing
down the beanstalk...
Jack chops it down
and fucking murders him.
What a cunt.