Mr Inbetween (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Can't Save You - full transcript

All things must end, even Christmas.

- You all right?
- Yup.

Mm.

- Um...
- Which way?

It's down here.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you see?

Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.
- So if you just pop in.

- Just pop in.
- Yeah.

- Out.
- Uh, I don't know.

You don't know.



- Hydrated something.
- Hey, Brittany. Britt.

Shh.

Okay.

- See it?
- Uh-huh.

All right, you want to go on in?

Come on.

Yeah, okay.

Isn't she gorgeous?

- Yeah.
- She's beautiful.

Look at these colors in her
mane... they're amazing.

Dad, come on.

- You gonna come on?
- No, uh, you go.

- She's so soft.
- Yeah.

Can we take her home?



I don't think she'll
fit in the car, love.

Put that down.

Dad, look. It's unicorn poo.

Dirty.

All right, better get going, love.

- So...
- But I want to stay.

Yeah, I know, but we'll...

we'll come back another day, all right?

Okay.

Bye.

I will never forget you.

Let's go, eh?

Look.

- Oh, that's cool.
- Wow.

Beauty.

- You want a hand?
- Yeah.

- Just watch it...
- I'm okay.

Yeah, yeah.

- You got it?
- Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

Good girl. Good girl.

Yeah, good girl. Good girl.

You want to get this horn off, eh?

Let me. Come on.

There you go. There you go.

Oh. Fuck.

How ya going?

Can we have a word outside?

Sure.

What's up?

Brit said you had the sex talk with her?

Yup.

Look, I'm not having a go
at you, but don't you think

it's important that if
you're gonna have those kind

of conversations with her,
you at least flag it with me first?

Well, I couldn't flag it with you

'cause she caught us having sex.

Oh.

Where were you having sex?

- Does it matter?
- No, just...

What, do you think we're having sex

- in front of her or something?
- No.

I just... It's just...

Hi.

- Hello.
- Are we going bowling?

Are we going bowling? Um...

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm allowed
to take you bowling.

- You better ask your mum.
- Mum, can we go bowling?

Of course you can go bowling, sweetie.

- Cool.
- Awesome.

Nice. Nice.

Oh, no.

Still got a fair shake.

- I'm gonna win still.
- No, you're not.

- Yes, I am.
- No, I got a key in there.

No, I'm gonna win.

No, I'm gonna start.
I'm gonna focus now.

♪ Tonight... ♪

No!

Now you have... 40 points.

40. I'm catching up.

It's fucked.

I spent an hour this morning
going from place to place,

just trying to find a normal breakfast.

What happened to bacon
and eggs on toast?

- Mm.
- Spin me.

And now it's all fuckin'

smashed avo on a brioche of quail eggs

served up by some Pilate...

weekend Pilates instructor

man-bun ponce named Tristan

who wants to give you a lecture

- about fuckin' gluten-free and...
- Faster, faster!

- I gave up, man.
- Mm.

So you're living in Bondi now, eh?

No, I just brought Maddy
over to the beach.

I'm in Maroubra.

On your own?

Me and Zoey split up.

When did this happen?

- Early March.
- Thanks for telling me.

You don't want to hear
about that shit, mate.

So, you working?

Brittany!

- Do you want me to spin you?
- How come?

What am I gonna do?

You got to do something, man.

Can I have a drink, Dad?

Sure, Mads. What do you want?

- Lemonade.
- Lemonade?

What do you say?

Please?

Please, Dad, 'cause you
are the best daddy

in the universe.

Please, Dad, because
you are the best dad

in the universe.

- Huh?
- Well-trained. Well done. Mm.

Brittany! Other way.

- What?
- What's that smell?

What smell?

- The cigarette smell.
- Don't know.

Must be one of the neighbors.

Mum says you smoke.

Yeah, I used to smoke.

But not anymore?

Mm-mmm.

Pinky swear?

I'm not gonna pinky swear.

Look, I s... You know...

- I have one occasionally, all right?
- Why did you lie?

'Cause I don't want you
knowing that I smoke.

- Why?
- 'Cause I don't want you thinking

it's okay to smoke, and then,
one day, you start smoking.

No way. Smoking's bad for you.
It gives you cancer.

- I'm not stupid.
- Yeah, well, I didn't say you were stupid.

Well, I don't want you to get cancer.

Well, I don't want to
get cancer, either.

Then why don't you stop, then?

'Cause it's not bloody easy to quit.

It's... addictive.

Why?

Well, you got this... there's
this stuff called nicotine.

Now, that's a chemical, all right?

And that's in the cigarettes, right?

So when you smoke it,

you get used to getting that nicotine.

So when you stop, the
receptors in your brain

don't get the nicotine anymore,
and they start screaming out,

and it makes you go crazy.

Well, will you stop for me?

Please?

All right.

- Promise?
- Look,

I promise you I'll try to quit, okay?

I can't guarantee 100% that I can do it,

but I'll try, okay?

Well, you need to try
really, really hard.

Okay. I promise

I'll try really hard, okay?

- Okay.
- Ah.

Happy now?

- Yes.
- Good.

Clean your room up?

- No, it's Christmas.
- You don't clean your room up,

- Santa won't give you any presents.
- You told me

- Santa's not real.
- Yeah, well, I won't give you

any presents if you don't
clean your bloody room.

- How does that sound?
- Fine.

Mm-hmm. Bye-bye.

No, no. That one.

Yeah.

Who's that from, Britt?

- From Uncle Bruce.
- Okay.

Mm.

Oh, cool. Thanks.

Is that all right?

Yeah, it's great.

You're welcome, beautiful.

Do you want your present now?

- You got me a present?
- Mm-hmm.

Sure.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Tell Uncle Bruce what
your present is, Britt.

Oh. Um, I wrote you some jokes.

You wrote some jokes?

- Mm-hmm.
- Tell him what you want to be

- when you grow up.
- A stand-up comedian.

A stand-up comedian? Wow.

When did this happen?

Oh, this is just what she
wants to be this week, mate.

It'll, uh... it'll change next week.

All right.

Go for it, Britt.

What's brown and sticky?

I don't know. What?

A stick.

Oh.

Oh. Very good.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don't know. Why did the
chicken cross the road?

Why are you asking me? I asked you.

Eh?

Don't look at me, man.

Very good.

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrup...

- Moo.
- Ah.

You got me. Very good.

- Very good.
- Okay.

Bravo.

Very... Thank you, beautiful.

Mm.

What'd you get me, man?

- You?
- Mm.

Oh...

Here we go.

Oh, you got me one of those.

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.

Oh, I got you... I-I got you something,

but I got you two of 'em.

- Oh. Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Is that for Ally?
- Yeah.

Yeah? What did you get her?

I made her a necklace.

- You made it?
- Yeah.

She will love that.

- Um, you got all your stuff?
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, mate, you sure you
don't want to come?

No, mate. I'm good.

What are you gonna do?

Television.

All right. Okay. Come on, boogaloo.

- Bye.
- Bye. You look beautiful.

- Thanks, mate.
- Thanks.

- Not you.
- Oh.

Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, mate.

- See you in a bit.
- Yeah.

32.

Ah.

Want to ring that bell, love?

Nice house, huh?

Eh?

Hi! Merry Christmas.

Hi, darling. Oh.

Oh! You didn't have to do that.

Thank you. Come in, come in, come in.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

So, that... Oh.

Here we go.

- What's your mum's name again?
- Sally.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Merry Christmas.
- Mum, this is Brittany.

- This is Ray.
- How you doing?

- How you doing, Ray?
- Um... Oh, here.

- Hang on.
- Merry Christmas. Welcome.

Merry Chr... Yeah, merry
Christmas to you, too.

- Nice house.
- Oh.

- Thank you very much.
- Sure. Yeah.

- Did you want a sparkling apple juice?
- Yes, please.

Yes. And can I open this now, please?

- Yes. Uh-huh.
- You sure?

- Okay.
- Would you like a beer?

- Wine?
- Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great, yeah.

Come on outside.

- Okay. Cool.
- Yeah.

This is where it's all happening.

So, what do you get if
you cross a skeleton

with a famous detective?

What, Dad?

Sherlock Bones.

Oh, come on. No.

I liked the sausage one better.

Here you go, Mum.

Thanks, love.

Terrible. I'm sorry.

- Genius. Genius.
- That is a cracker.

Are you okay?

I need a smoke.

- Well, go have one.
- Can't.

Promised Britt I'd give up.

On Christmas Day?

Jesus H.

- Mm.
- Mm.

- Okay. Good.
- Hey, Ray,

ever played Secret Santa before?

- No, mate.
- Oh, mate,

you are in for the time of your life.

Okay, the way it works:
there's 12 of us in here...

there's all the little cards in here

- with numbers on 'em, one to 12.
- We all know how to play, Dad.

Everybody takes a number. Come on, Troy.

- Come on in, mate.
- Oh, sorry, Pop.

You grab a number there.

Okay, now, what's gonna happen is that

whoever draws number one,

they get to go up there first.

- There you go, T-Roy.
- Thanks, Pops.

Number two, they follow 'em up

and they get to pick a present as well.

Now, here's where it gets interesting.

If they don't like their present,

- they can swap it with number one.
- Yeah.

Which means number 12

is the best place to be, okay?

Because you get to pick
from all the other presents

- at the end.
- Okay.

And here's me. I got number four.

- Who's number one?
- Aw, that's m... I have it again.

Same as last year.

Every year. Loser.

Oh, Dad! Okay.

Can I check what they all-all are?

- Just-just...
- Don't shake too hard.

- Some are breakable.
- Biscuits.

- Can I...
- Biscuits.

- Come on, sis.
- All right, I'll go for the thin one.

- Okay.
- Fish bowl, for sure.

I'm guessing a book.

What have we got? We've got...

- Ah.
- What is it?

How to Insult People in 50 Languages.

- How useful.
- Oh, that's perfect for you, love.

A lightsaber.

What do you want to do, Zo...
do you want to swap it?

No! No, I don't want to...

Aw!

Not just one... two!

Block your eyes, block your eyes.

What is that? Oh.

- You got a good one?
- Yeah.

Oh!

Oh!

She-Ra!

No, that's special.

Merry Christmas.

Ooh!

Dinos.

Dino molds. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Right, yeah.

I'm gonna have to swap. Sorry.

- Sorry.
- Oh!

Oh, that's a beautiful present.

Good on ya, mate.

And lucky last, number 12...

is Trent.

- Come on up here, son.
- You're the worst.

- Come on.
- Sounds broken.

Is that the... is that
the "shake gently" one?

- That's the "shake gently" one.
- That's-that's...

Bet you it's teacups.
I bet you it's teacups.

Yeah, bet you it's teacups.

- Ah, see, I told you.
- Ah, the couple together.

See, they even look like the
two of you. That's perfect.

Thanks, sis.

- Dino mold. You'll love that.
- Take these.

Well, Dad, those-those do look good.

- He's going for the headphones.
- You want... Take these.

But I think I like what's in the box.

- Oh, you're not.
- Trent.

- Trent.
- Come on.

- Oh, my God.
- What is wrong with him?

- She's just a little kid.
- What?

- Hey, it's the rules.
- She's a kid, man. Dude.

- Really?
- I want the unicorn.

What are you gonna do with a unicorn?

- I don't know yet.
- All right, everybody.

Let's, um... l-let's,
uh, clean the place up,

- pick up all the papers.
- All right.

Then we'll go and have a drink outside.

- What do you say?
- Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

- Grab a bag, and we'll put it all in here.
- Merry Christmas.

- Good on ya, Robbie.
- Rob, have you been chewing yours?

How's it going, dude?

Yeah, good.

- Smoke?
- Nah, I gave up.

Yeah, I should.

Yeah, you should.

Hey, you know that, uh...
that unicorn candle?

- Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Is there any chance
you can give it back?

Why?

Well, me daughter, she's...

kind of obsessed with
unicorns at the moment.

- Yeah.
- And, uh,

you know, I was hoping maybe,
you know, you can give it back

and, you know, I'll, uh, throw
you 100 bucks or something.

You trying to bribe me
to give your daughter

- the unicorn candle?
- I wouldn't say I'm bribing you.

More like I'm...

asking you a favor, you know?

And if you can do it...

I'll show a bit of gratitude
and throw you some cash.

Do I look like I need the money?

I don't think you look
like you need the money.

You know how much I make in a year?

Why-why are you being a dickhead?

Yeah, I think one of us
is being a dickhead.

Why the fuck would you take a present

off a little kid?

You're a grown man.
What the fuck do you want

with a fuckin' girly candle?

Eh, 'cause it's kitchy.

It's kitchy?

Yeah. Kitchy.

Aha.

♪ Hail the new year, lads and lasses ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Sing we joyous, all together ♪

♪ Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ Heedless of the wind and weather... ♪

Trent, just... I know.

- Mum?
- Careful, Mum, careful. Okay.

Dad, can you get a t...

Hey, Dad?

What happened with Ally's brother?

I think he tripped over or...

he had a bit much to drink.

- So he was drunk?
- Yeah, I think so.

How come you took the candle off him?

Oh, he didn't really want it, so...

Should I give him my present, then?

No, you keep it.

All right, love. Kiss, kiss.

Mwah.

All right.

- See you.
- Bye.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- How was it?
- Good.

- You have fun?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I'm not making excuses, but...

Britt caught me smoking this morning,

and, um, she made me promise

to give up, and I hadn't
smoked all day, and...

You know?

Fair enough.

You okay?

No.

Yeah.

Fair enough.

What about your bro? How's...

Is he all right?

How do you think?

Mm.

So, you know that guy that
I was engaged to, yeah?

I ended that.

We were together for...

uh, three years.

He had demons, like you.

He used to lash out and smash things

and punch walls.

And then one day he started on me.

Then he apologized and
told me that he loved me,

and... I forgave him.

And then a few weeks later, he, um...

slapped me.

After that, he kicked me, punched me...

And every time,
you know, he'd say, uh...

"I'm sorry."

And told me that he loved me.

"I'm sorry."

And he's-he's not a bad person.

I used to tell myself that all the time.

He's just... He's damaged, and...

I thought that I could save him.

And I tried, I really...

I really tried.

- But I couldn't.
- Mm.

There's a darkness in you.

And I think that's one of the things

that attracted me to you
in the first place.

But now I think...

I don't know, I think that...

...the very thing I loved about you...

now it scares me.

I'll never hit you.

That's what he used to say.

- And I can't take that chance.
- Mm.

I can't. I'm sorry.

So that's it?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

So am I.

I love you.

I do. Know that.

And walking away from
someone that you love

is one of the hardest fucking
things in the world to do.

Yeah.

Well...

Yeah. All right.

Look after yourself.

You too.