Mr. Bean (1990–1995): Season 1, Episode 11 - Back to School Mr. Bean - full transcript

Mr. Bean goes back to school for an orientation day while he sees the different projects and activities in which he gets into mischief.

(# Marching music)

(Tyres squeal)

(Sergeant) Left, right, left, right!
Left, right, left, right!

(Calling out marching orders)

(# Marching music continues)

D'you want a push?

Oh, er, yes please. Thank you.

- Get in.
- Right. I'll get in.

I'm in.

Hut hut hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut...

...hut hut hut hut!



Eyes front.

(Shrieks orders)

(Shrieks orders)

(Clears throat)

(Coughs)

(Clears throat)

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Barking)

(Grunting)

Right.

What the hell do you think
you're doing? Hey!

Right side!

What do you think you're doing?
What do you think you're doing?



You what?

(Exaggerated yawning)

Ah...ah...ah...!

Ah-choo.

Ah-choo.

Boo!

(Woman laughing) Ooh! Oh!

Oh!

- OK?
- Yes.

(Whirring)

(Low electronic humming)

(Humming intensifies)

(Crackles)

(Electronic hum)

(Humming continues)

(Humming intensifies)

(Steady humming)

(Humming subsides)

(Humming)

Oh, how kind.

(Buzzing and crackling)

(Bubbling and hissing)

(Explosion)

(Sniffing)

Ah, ?a, c'est formidable.

But I think...l?!

Ah, bonjour!
Please, come in. Welcome!

Asseyez-vous.

Sit down. Please. L?.

Du fruit. Ah...inspire!

Ah...banana.

Magnifique.

But I think...

Detail. Detail!

OK, class, please. Changez.

L?.

Monsieur. What? Don't. Don't be shy.

Don't be shy.

Let me look.

Ahh.

The face, eh?

The body...o?? The body?

The body? Eh?

The breasts?

You must look.

Look. The beauty. Feel it, feel it.

And draw.

Inspire.

Right! Is he in here, then?

Out!

Non, non, non. You must look.

OK, thanks a lot for coming,
everybody.

Um...before we start
learning any throws, etc,

you've just got to make sure
that you can fall OK.

So, I'll check all your break-falls
one by one.

Start with you.
Just step forward. That's good.

OK, we start with a bow...

Good... Then just take hold...
that's nice...and the throw.

That's it. Good one.

Back with the others.
Right, nice. Next one, please.

That's good. OK, again...

It's a bow...
Take hold, and the throw.

That's nice. Good.
Back with the others.

There we go.

OK, can I have the next one, please?

Next one, please.

Just step forward, then.

Onto the mat.

There we are.

And the other foot, yeah?

That's good.
That's all right. Now...

OK, here we...

Just come back onto the mat.
There we go.

It's all right.

Now, first the bow...

The bow...

All right...and then...
then I take hold.

It's all right.
Just trust me. Just, just...

Just calm down, all right?
Just stand here.

That's it. No, no one's going to
get hurt. That's it. Good. OK.

- So we bow...
- Yeah, we bow...

Just one big bow...then the throw.

OK, so one nice, big, big bow...

...and then...

Hey, stop it! Stop! Stop it!

(Quacking)

(Continues quacking)

Oi! Oi! Get off!
What are you doing?

Oh! Oh, God! No!

(PA) 'Right.'

(Clearing throat) 'Er...

'Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen,

'and welcome to the demonstration...'

(# Marching music starts)