Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Real Mafia vs. Video Game Industry - full transcript

[Announcer] Get
fired up for MXC,

the world's most toughest
competition in town.

Somebody call the cops

because today
the Real Life Mafia

tries to ice the
Video Game Industry.

It's a classic battle of
Goombas versus Game Boys.

And now, here's a
couple of wise guys...

Kenny Blankenship
and Vic Romano!

And welcome! Woo-hoo!

Kenny, we've got a
great show today...

Mafia versus the
Video Game Industry.



Kenny, you must be excited, huh?

Yeah. Video games
are hard. Ah, indeed.

They can be very
mentally challenging.

Hey, I'm not
mentally challenged.

[laughs] Of course
you're not, Ken.

You've got a great
head on your shoulders.

Hey, watch the
hair. I got it cut.

I'm going to the
arcade after the show

to pick up chicks.
Ah, is that right?

"Hey, uh, what game
you playing there, babe?

Wanna smell my hair?"

Ah. That works? Yeah.

Huh. Kenny, it looks like you've
got some food crumbs there.

Oh, I fell asleep in a
plate of nachos. All right.



Well, we also have the
Mafia, the Cosa Nostra,

AKA the Black Hand, the Mob.

And I understand
their team captain

has a message just for you.

Blankenship, you'll
sleep with the fishes.

[chuckles]

He put that out
without even looking!

Wow, Kenny, looks like there
might be a price on your head.

Where? Right there.

I know how to deal
with those dudes.

I own The Godfather video game.

Don't you realize that
there's a difference

between real and make-believe?

There is? Yes.

The real Mafia
will take your life.

I still have four left.

You know what, Ken?
Y... [huffs] Forget it.

Let's just go down to Guy.

Guy here, your
Cappo de Tutti Crappy,

and this is my turf for
as far as the eye can see.

Good thing I'm sporting
my Tony Hawk poo-skaters.

[laughing]

Today's crime spree begins with

Backyard Bocce Ball Bloodbath,

then it's Dope on a Rope,

onto Nerve Racketeering
Slabs of Death.

We move to Sorry, Wrong Number,

and finish with
Clear Sphere of Fear.

[laughs] Somebody
call my driver.

Guido.

[grunting, straining]
Now if only I had a car.

Skipper?

Question: As a
result of the popularity

of The Godfather
and The Sopranos,

who thinks all Italian-Americans

are cold-blooded,
sociopathic killers?

Show of hands now!

[cheering] Well, you're wrong.

Most Italian-Americans...
[Woman] Aw, [bleep].

What? You talkin' to me?

Do you realize
you've interrupted

my statement about
Italian-Americans?

Yeah. Go ahead.

You had something
you wanted to say.

[sotto voce] I'll stuff you
like a meatball casserole

and eat you for lunch.

[crowd "oohing"] Just
kiddin'. I'm a gamer.

[laughing]

[sighing, clears throat]

Get her out of here.
She makes me sick.

Ah, you, game boy with
the shunt in your head...

Mm-hmm. What game
do you like to play?

EverQuest and Donkey
Kong. Donkey Kong, eh?

Hey, I get that Pauline.

Hey, that's masked
murderer Jimmy the Moron,

now in Witness Protection.

Don't worry, we'll
protect your identity.

Why don't you say
hello to everybody?

How you doin'? Hey, how are you?

How's it goin'? How
you doin'? [chuckling]

Now there's a dead man walking.

Let's go!

[Vic] And we're off to
play every Italian family's

favorite backyard game:
Bocce Ball Bloodbath.

The object: find
the most bocce balls

hidden throughout this course,

under the folds of the
Cappo de Tutti Fruitties.

Ha ha. Yeah, the team
with the most balls wins.

Uh!

[whistle blows]

Get it on!

And to make it a
little more challenging,

we've added snipers and hit men
throughout the course. [gunshots]

Oh! And it looks like the
fun's already begun, Ken.

[laughs] They're
getting whacked.

Dropping like
flies. Right you are.

Of course, this is
traditional bocce ball.

Originated in Sicily.

Spread from Palermo
to Paramus and...

Oh! And there's X-Box poster
boy Leroy Jenkins. [gunfire]

Ha ha. He tripped in
the Mountain Doo-Doo.

Right you are.

And there's Goddard
Browning, the genius behind

Jason Williams' NBA
All-Star Shoot-Out.

I love the shotgun
controller. Indeed.

There it is! There it is!

And right there, entombed
in a cement casket,

is Guido "the
Squealer" Concetta.

And there's Cappo de Tutti
Fruitti Finook Pentangeli

getting brutally knee-capped
by the Genovese twins.

Haha, look. He's pointing
to his Leaning Tower of Pisa.

I think you might be right,
Ken. Oh, look there, Vic!

It's the Grand Theft Auto-erotic
hookers. Right you are, Ken.

Didn't they get busted for
pixelating in public? Hah!

And here's another Cappo
Fruitti, David Hyde Gambino,

being playfully searched for
a wire by a trio of wise gals.

Yeah. Muffiosas. Right you are.

[laughs] And it looks like...

Oh, Guy has
joined the fray, Ken!

Come find it... Oh! Oh!

Ye... Yes, look closer.

Guy's got a bocce
ball! Look at that.

And that, my friend, is
our MXC Impact Replay.

Let's take another look.

You can see right there
he's being completely sacked

by a whole wad of
bocce ballers, Ken.

Yeah, he's totally scrotalized.

Indeed. [snickering]

See if the censors catch that.

Whoa! [gun shots]

Hey, Vic, there's a Tutti
Fruitti being dragged.

Right you are, Ken. Oh! And
he squirts out a bocce ball.

Where was he hiding that one?

Sometimes it's
better not to know.

While they tally up the
score, let's go down to Guy.

Tomb Raider Angie
Jolina, why are you so sad?

I'm so injured I won't be
able to travel the world,

collecting exotic
babies anymore.

But I do have Brad. Lucky.

[both cackling]

So after all the balls have been
gently cupped and examined,

we're tied up at 1 to 1.

Well, Kenny, that Mafia
is one tough bunch.

So? In Halo 2, Master Chief
can destroy millions of aliens

with one plasma pistol.

Kenny, I'm talking
about real people,

real violence, real death.

Ha ha! I'm in. Kenny,
do you have any idea

what it would be like to
be on the business end

of some brass knuckles or a
Louisville Slugger, getting whacked?

Wow, do they have
that for GameCube?

When MXC returns,

we're going to show you
a couple of rope tricks.

Now blast off, sheepshank.

[Announcer] MXC is back

as the Video Gamers
take on the Mafia.

It's slackers versus whackers.

Okay. [muttering]

Kenny, we're on.

My third echelon
has been penetrated.

Kenny, have you been playing

Tom Clinchy's
Sphincter Cell all night?

I mean, look at your eyes.

Those games are
killing your brain cells

and can cause permanent damage.

I've been thinking of getting another
set of eyes and putting them right here.

Oh, right there, yes.

So you can play two
games at once, right?

[murmuring] Yeah, yeah.

And it's time for
Dope on a Rope,

where our players swing
from point A to point B

without landing in
mystery sludge C.

Which is Abe Vigoda's
sitz bath water.

[whistle blows] Get it on!

And first up for Team Mafioso,

it's John Potti,
the Porcelain Don.

I'm-a the boss-a!

He heads the largest
and wealthiest family

on the East Coast.

Yeah. Potti made a pile.

He's certainly
flushed with cash, Ken.

Let's see what he does
here. Swings around nicely.

Oh! Looks like he's ankle-deep
in the family business.

Ha ha! My clothes don't fit!

And here's Carl
Sega, the creator

of the new Triple X-Box
game, Porn Star Wars.

Yeah, Choda trains
Luke Streetwalker

to kill Jabba the Slut.

Right you are. Oh! Oh!

Looks like Carl's going to have
Vivid nightmares about that one.

And that's our
MXC Impact Replay.

Yeah, right here.

Right here, Vic, he goes
into a Princess Leiam

into a full-frontal,
quad-triple Spewbacca,

into the Choda water.

Kenny. Haha!

Cannoli!

And here's Mafia restaurateur
Alfredo Sploogiano.

Yeah, he's known
throughout Little Italy

for his Spermiccelli
in white sauce.

Right you are, Ken. Let's
see what he does here.

He's almost... He's
hanging on... Oh!

And here's Penis Adora...
I believe in miracles.

Creator of the environmentally
incorrect game Seal Clubber 2.

Haha. Ooh! Oh!

Right into the endangered feces.

Kenny. [laughing]

[speaking Italian]

And here' s spoiled Mafia
princess Camille Tonio.

Yeah. After a kindergarten
playmate told her she had cooties,

he found a pony head
under his blankie at naptime.

Right you are, Ken.

Oh! Oh! And she's down.

Let's take another look at that.

Huh? Oh. See right there?

She takes it hard
in the Goomba...

[Kenny chuckles]

Abbondanza! Badda
bing, badda boom.

I live in the mall.

And here's Phlegm Hawking.

He's inventor of the
Video Game Nerd

Survival Kit.

Here's what he
had to say earlier.

Video games have cured

my addiction to
Dungeons & Dragons.

And of course, the
kit includes zit cream,

eyeglass tape, and a
level 7 Vorpal Blade.

Let's see what he does here.

Friends not included.
Right you are.

Oh! Oh! Game over.

Right you are, Ken.

Let's take another look at that.

Oh, yeah. As you
can see right here,

the first time his
feet were ever used

in any type of
athletic activity. Haha!

You want some of this? [mewls]

Here of course, transsexual
Mafia hit man Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Is there really a gay Mafia?

Of course there is, Ken.
They run the entertainment in...

[tone]

[nervous chuckle] Of
course, there's no gay Mafia.

It's an industry run by talented

and gifted men and women.

Oh, lesbians.
Right you are, Ken.

And you can see
that that not-gay guy

is down in the muck. [laughs]

I'll be back in a minute!

Here of course, Fuzzy Zoeller.

He created the video
game Tiger Morning Wood.

Yeah, the idea just came to him

in the morning. Right you are.

Apparently, his mom caught him

inspiring himself several times.

Oh, look at that. He's
down in the muck.

Looks like he might
have hooked himself

and shanked his putter.

Haha. He's teed off. Indeed.

Who farted?

And here's Sam Waltemeone.

He runs the Mafia
discount store Slaymart.

Yeah. They have specials on
cement shoes and piano wire.

Oh, looks like he's going
to need some duct tape

and some plastic
bags there, Ken.

Let's take another look.

Attention, Slaymart shoppers,

we have a blood
spill on aisle 4.

Right you are. Gimme it.

Here's the man who brought us

Amish Street Fighter
V, Kenneth Schtumpeck.

Yeah, you just sit in your hand-made
chair and get your ass kicked.

Churn butter and raise
a barn for bonus points,

but it's not going
to help him there.

He's down. I collect pens!

Here's Joe "Skid
Mark" Pantaleone.

He's an ex-Mafia stooly.

Yeah, he's dumped mounds
of evidence on the D.A.

Right you are.

And he sure had
some skank on that one!

So thanks to Skid Mark,
who wipes out the competition,

the mobsters now
have the lead, 2 to 1.

Let's go down to Guy.

Guy here at the top secret
video game test center,

where the newest video
games are vigorously tested

behind these closed doors.

Oh. Oops! Aah, Guy!

Sorry, Kenny.
I'll be back later.

Behind this door,
they are testing

the World War Number
II game, Call of Doody.

Oh, I smell a hit.

This is very exciting!

Hey, this is top
secret. Get out of here!

Oh, oh! Go ahead, rough me up!

I won't squeal!

[straining]

When MXC returns,
find out who's going

to be laid out on a slab.

Hey, go embalm yourself.

MXC is back as the
Video Game Industry

takes on the Mob.

It's geek fellows
versus Goodfellas.

[tough voice] Hey, here's
your cannoli right here.

[normal voice]
See, I'm a mobster.

Kenny, that was a
great Robert De Niro.

Yeah, thanks. Hey,
do you do Joe Pesci?

Why don't you go
ahead and give it a shot?

[grunting]

[laughing] Yes, the famous
"do I make you laugh,

am I a clown" scene
from Goodfellas.

No, no. I was doing
Pesci from Gone Fishin'.

Oh, speaking of fishing,

do the Fredo death
scene from Godfather II.

Okay. You're on the boat
doing your Hail Mary and, bang!

Oh... Oh, yeah. Okay.

Well, you'd actually
be dead already, Ken.

You're taking too long.

And it's time for Nerve
Racketeering Slabs of Death.

Race across the
tops of the gold bars

before they grind
you to gold dust.

I'm Mike Ropini!

Mike makes mini sausages
and has links to the Mob.

Yeah, his crew calls
him "Little Smoky."

Don't laugh.

I understand he stuffs
his own sausage, Ken.

Into what? I don't know.
Something to ponder.

And he is down!

By the way, each
one of those gold slabs

weighs as much as a high-jacked
truckload of Bruno Melli shoes.

[panting] Cottage cheese!

Up next, Paula Kabul, creator
of the American Foreign Idol.

Oh! And she's down.

And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.

She scampers off to the side.

Oh! She falls on her
Corey Clarkson keister.

Otherwise known
as a Cryin' Seepcrest.

Ha ha. Up-a mine!

Next up, hit man
Johnny Bullcockeone.

Always surrounded by
a small circle of friends.

Wow! He loves being in
the middle of the action.

Indeed he does, Ken.

Oh! And he takes a
fisting there from Skanky.

Hey! What have
you got in your hand?

Up next for Gaming,
that's Demi Allen.

Shepherd pie!

She's a choreographer for
Dunce Dunce Revolution.

Yeah, the dance
game for slow learners.

Right you are, Ken.

Oh! And that was a
remedial run there.

You know, in some
areas of the country,

Dunce Dunce Revolution is
known as "square dancing."

Well, Ken, I take
umbrage at that.

I enjoy the square-dancing
now and then.

I also like some clogging
and ballroom on occasion.

Haha. Clogging. Here's Guy.

Uh, Demi, tell Guy
how you learned

to design video games.

Dolls with real hair are fun.

Okay, but how did you
come up with the idea?

[giggles] Yesterday I swam.

Ah, I bet real fast.

Real fast.
[intermittent shrieking]

Oh, I see where this is going.

Do you like gum? [laughing]

Yes! I have some in my pocket.

Up next from the Witness
Protection Program...

Shout out!

That's Sammy the Bull...
I mean, Sammy Smith!

[gunshot] There he goes.

Oh! Oh!

I think he just got shot.

No, he didn't get
shot, Kenny. Nice shot.

No, no. I swear. I
saw him get shot.

Kenny, you didn't see anyone
get shot and neither did I.

Uh, let's just move on.

And next up for the
gamers it's Sherry Magdalen.

[gasping] Please notice me.

She, of course, the
intelligent designer

for the controversial
Bible video game

The New Testament 2.

Blessed is thy Peacemaker.

I just wanted to use the
Bible for monetary gain.

You know, like Mel
Gibson, Pat Robertson.

Besides, kids just love
killing the non-believers.

That game's cool.

The meek inherit the earth, and
you have to take it back by force.

Right you are, and
she is quite a force there

going across the top
of those bars, Ken!

And she's done it!
Give me my money!

And that run is certainly
worth resurrecting.

Yeah, she's got a
new game coming out...

The Assault on Mount
Cyanide: The Talmud Terror.

I heard the cheat codes
go from right to left. Hah!

Here's Mafia moll Tommy
"The Tumor" Melanomi.

Drink tonic!

Been in and out of
jail most of his life,

and damaged every
cell he's ever been in.

He's a total cancer on society.

Right you are. I think
he's going all the way.

I think you might be right.
Oh! But he can't hang on, Ken.

[Bleep]! What a shame.

Son of a...

Wow, he's taking
that pretty hard.

[Bleeping]. Let's
take another look.

Yeah, right there, he
should have gone all the way.

Then he wouldn't have
lost. Indeed. Let's go to Guy.

What happened, Tommy?

I swear to God that
[bleep] game's rigged.

I couldn't do anything.

You're probably the
one who's responsible,

you mother[bleep]
little [bleep] fool,

you piece of [bleep].

[Bleep] you. Hey,
hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Nobody talks to Guy like
that with their clothes on!

Hear me? Oh, I'm sorry.

Okay. Why are
you such a ruffian?

It's probably the six bullets
I got lodged in my brain.

What about you? You
look like you've taken

a couple of rounds
in the noggin, huh?

Guy not afraid to ask
the tough questions.

Yeah, he's [bleep]
up. Hey, hygiene first!

Here's Mickey Mork,
creator of President Evil 2.

[yelps] Whoa!

Yeah, that's that video game
where a mindless zombie

destroys the middle class.

Right you are.

Here's Mafia wife Mrs. Corleone.

They killed my Sonny.

Of course, keeping with tradition,
Mafia wives don't say much.

Oh! [coughing, wailing]

Oh, God! Yeah. They just
hold kids and cook all day.

Right you are, Ken.

Let's take another look at that.

[choking, sobbing]

Yeah, right here.

Look at the way she bounced.

She fell on her gabbagool
and squashed her gnocchi.

I can smell the
farfalla from here.

Haha!

And here's Melvin Puller.

Okay, I'm old!

He, of course, the creator
of Going Commando,

the video game you play
with no underwear on.

How's that different from
any other video game?

Good question. Oh!

That run, of
course, all too brief.

But thanks to Sherry
Magdelen's divine intervention,

the video gamers
have tied it up 2 to 2.

Wow, she's hot.

I'd like to give her a whirl.

Eh, what a
delightful notion, Ken.

But she's totally
out of your league.

She happens to be a
member of Mensa. What's that?

A society of really smart
people. Oh, yeah, yeah.

She's up here on the
level of Stephen Hawking,

where you are down
here with Steven Seagal.

[laughs] He's fat.

When MXC comes back,

curl up and follow
the bouncing ball.

Holy curvature of the spine!

Somebody's in there!

MXC is back for the final battle

as the Mafia takes on
the video game world.

It's hit men versus Pacmen.

Vic, let me ask you something.

Of course, Ken.

Didn't you owe the Mafia
some money at one time?

It's been resolved.

Was it for the gambling
debts, the insurance scam,

or that album of
Italian holiday favorites

that you released?

Well, they've forgiven
the gambling debts,

but they're never
going to forgive me

for That's Amore Christmas.

It blew.

And it's time for
Sorry, Wrong Number.

Slide down the beet
cutter solder belt

while running
numbers in your head.

Answer correctly, and
you live for the next game.

But get the wrong number,
and this is how you'll pay.

You'll rot in a shallow
grave filled with lye.

Whatever you do, kids,
don't get knocked off.

And here's Jimmy
"The Squeeze" Pimplini.

And here's his
question. All righty.

You start with five cops,

you kill three of
them with nine bullets,

you bribe six, how
many were dirty?

17, of course.

Right you are, Ken.
Let's see how he answers.

Uh... [chuckles] I don't know.

Aah! Too bad for him.

Ooh! Into the lye.

That was easy. It's
written right here.

Right you are.

Somebody rock me all night.

Next up, joystick
polisher Dorine Tubs.

And here's her question.

You own five video game systems,

play nine hours a day
for seven days a week,

minus two pork roasts.

How many imaginary
boyfriends do you have?

Boyfriends...
uh... 22! Aah! Ooh!

The answer, of course, 19.

Wow, we're going to need
a deeper shallow grave.

She's huge. Kenny.

Luca Brasi sleeps
with the fishes, ugh!

Of course, Union Labor
coach Jenny Hoffa.

Okay, she has
witnessed six murders,

been arrested three
times, and pleaded the Fifth

at the Seventh Circuit
Court of Appeals.

What does that make her?

One tough chick.

Indeed. Two!

Oh! But she answered two, Ken.

And that, of
course, is incorrect.

[screams] Wrong.

And there she is into the lye.

That's gotta burn, Ken.

Yeah. She looks
like my grandmother

when she's making
cookies. [sobbing]

Ha ha. Cookies.

Well, I've always
enjoyed Nana's cookies.

[Kenny snickers] Uncle
Kevin bought me this shirt.

Here, of course, Kirk Spockman,

an X-Box boy at Videomart.

If you start with
eight life crystals

and lose six by hyper-speeding
through the ninth dimension,

vanquishing eight wizards,
how many times has your mom

caught you pleasuring
yourself in the last half hour?

Mm, three!

And he's absolutely right!
Three is the correct answer.

Oh, yes! Yes! I almost
never get caught.

Good for you, Ken.

So, thanks to the
handiwork of Kirk Spockman,

the video gamers
take the lead, 3 to 2.

Wow, those were hard questions.

Can you answer any of them, Vic?

Well, I don't want to brag, Ken,

but I was somewhat of
a math whiz in school.

[laughing] You studied!

Kenny, even your
video games are based

on complex
mathematical concepts.

[laughing] Smart
people are dumb.

It's time for the
Clear Sphere of Fear.

Contestants ride
inside the plastic bubble

and navigate through
a series of obstacles

to reach the goal at the bottom
and avoid the skulls of doom.

But the real challenge
is to make it down

before the hermetically
sealed capsules run out of air.

First up, crime boss
Don Vito Torleone.

It's all-out war with
the Mario Brothers.

Let's go to Olive Garden!

And of course, the
Torleone family...

The most vicious of the
five families in New York.

Yeah. The other crime
bosses are Don Cornelius,

Don Ho, Don Johnson, and
Tony Orlando and the Dawn.

Right you are, Ken.

And it looks like
Don Vito Torleone

has made a run you can't refuse,

and we're all tied up!

First up for the gamers,

that's pretty Shiska
Babaganoush.

I'm going to win
because I am blessed.

Of course, she is the inventor
of the Sunni Pray Station,

the game system that only
works if you're facing east.

Yeah, my favorite game for that

is Martyrdumb and Dumber.

Oh, I'm not familiar
with that title, Ken.

In the final level,

you have to martyr
yourself to get to Paradise,

where you play the bonus game.

There's 72 versions.

Ah. Don't you mean virgins, Ken?

Who the hell would want
to know a bunch of virgins?

Right you are. And
she is stopped! [buzzer]

Hah. No mula for her. [chuckles]

And that's our
MXC Impact Replay.

Let's take another look, Ken.

Look at that thing
bouncing around.

She's really taking a beating.

It's like rolling a snow globe
down the freeway or something.

Right you are. Let's go down
to Guy and see if she's all right.

[Man] Somebody pop the lid.

Let Guy in here.
Shiska, are you all right?

Fine. I just vomited
my lunch all over inside.

Oh, quickly!

We should shower
in my dressing room

before you regain your senses.

Oh! Oh, oh... [groaning]

Is that hummus? Oh, mmm!

And next up, bag
man Louis Vittono.

When in doubt, rub 'em out!

He, of course, carried money

for Coco Chanelli and
Little Johnny Versace.

Yeah, I heard he's whacked
more men than Richard Simmons.

Right you are, Ken. Let's see.

Yeah, and then he killed them.

I see. [pinball effects]

Looks like he's got a
pretty good run going.

He seems to have
stalled out there, Ken.

Let's get back to the action.

Oh, he takes a little push
from behind from Danny Glans.

[screaming]

[buzzer] And... Oh!
Into the skull of doom!

[screaming continues]
What a shame.

And last up, Matt
Cretan. [muffled cry]

I can kill a spotted
owl with one hand.

He, of course, the driving force

behind John Fatten's
NFL Trading Table 2006.

The object is to become the most
freakishly obese lineman in the NFL

by gluttonous caloric
intake and carbo loading.

Yeah, from the feedbag
to the barf bag. Indeed.

Are you ready for some
meatballs? And there he goes.

Looks like he's going to
make it all the way through.

And he's done it, Ken!

Thanks to Matt Cretan,

the gamers take
the gangsters 4 to 3.

Hah! Gamers.

Well, Kenny, even
though they lost,

do you feel differently
about the Mafia?

Yeah, they made me a made man.

I'm Don Kenneone.

Ah, but you're going
to be Don Knotts

unless you get to the Top Ten.

Who? [Brooklyn
accent] Fuhget abouddit.

It's time for Kenny
Blankenship's

Painful Eliminations of the Day!

And starting at number 10,

it's joystick
polisher Dorine Tubs

who's totally out of controller

and falls butt over heels.

And number 9 goes to
Mafia princess Camille Tonio

who gets squeezed and
almost splits herself in two.

And number 8 goes to
Mob Mom Mrs. Corleone,

who goes down faster than
her homemade zabaiones

at the family picnic.

And number 7
has Guy all atwitter

as the crowd goes
nuts for his bocce balls.

Ha ha! Guy.

And number 6 goes to Carl Sega,

creator of Porn Star Wars,

who ends up just
like his characters:

right on his back.

And the 5 spot goes to Demi
"Dunce, Dunce Revolution" Allen,

who falls on her butt
and feels like a dumb-ass.

And number 4 goes to nerd
kit creator Phlegm Hawking,

who's one tweaked
and freaked total geek.

And number 3 goes to
Sunni Pray Station gamer

Shiska Babaganoush.

Through this bumpy run, she
cried for her o-mam and Baghdaddy.

And number 2 goes to transsexual
Mafia hit man Mr. and Mrs. Smith,

who hits hard, falls, and
crushes his/her whatever.

And my number 1 Most
Painful Elimination of the Day

goes to wise guy Sammy
Angus, who takes a shot at winning

and ends up going back
to Witness Protection.

[Brooklyn accent]
Forget about 'im!

Ah, un peccatta de cardinale.

Take us out, Ken.
Ha ha, you're French.

[All] Don't get eliminated!

♪♪ [parody of Godfather theme]

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA