Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003–…): Season 4, Episode 14 - Mega-Millionaires vs. Where Are They Nows? - full transcript
It's have-mores versus has-beens as the mega-millionaires take on the Where are they Nows? It's the classic battle of Gazillions vs. Gilligans. Games - Great Holes of Glory, Mud Butlers, Ball Busters, and Rotating Surfboards of Death.
[Announcer] Get
fired up for MXC,
the world's most toughest
competition in town!
Today it's have-mores
versus has-beens,
as the Mega-Millionaires take on
the Where Are They Nows?
It's a classic battle
of gazillions versus Gilligans.
And now, two guys
you can take to the bank,
Kenny Blankenship
and Vic Romano.
Ah, good show. Huh, Ken?
Yeah, rich people.
Ah, don't forget
those former favorites.
Yeah, like Mork's wife.
Ah, you're referring
to Pam Dawber.
You know, Pam's still
on TV. On Mork reruns.
Kenny! Hah!
Anybody know what
happened to Papa Smurf?
He was a good actor. Kenny!
What about John
Kerry? [grunting]
Um, how about Ben Affleck?
Ugh! Ron Jeremy?
No, Kenny! Let's get serious.
I am talking about millionaires.
Like Papa Smurf? He made bank.
I am talking about
self-made men,
the captains of industry.
Oh, like Scrooge McDuck
or Richie Rich, right?
Kenny, I'm talking about
great fortunes like Gates,
Forbes, Rockefeller,
Trump, the Maloofs,
the Heinzes, the Waltons.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, uh, Jed Clampett.
Ah. You know, I always
had a thing for Ms. Hathaway.
Ha ha! Guy here.
In case you were wondering
where I am now, I'm here!
And I bet you're saying,
"What's in Guy's box?"
This is gold-plated dandruff
from Donald Trump's
comb-over brush.
Today's battle begins with the
ever-popular Great Holes of Glory,
the obscuriously
delicious Mudd Butlers,
then we try to get to third
base with Ball Busters.
Then take your best money shot
at Rotating Surfboard of Death.
I am so wealthy, I'm rich!
I'm rich! [gibberish]
Skipper!
[straining]
Question: How many think
the wealthy are undertaxed,
overfed, and line their pockets
at the expense of Joe Lunchpail?
Show of hands now!
[cheering] Well you're wrong.
If it wasn't for the wealthy,
there'd be more poor people
who wouldn't even have
a Jar Jar Binks lunchbox
to piss in!
What say you, young preppies?
We're the Millionaire Boys Club.
Tell me more about it.
It wasn't my idea.
I wasn't even there.
I'm not involved.
Yeah, we steal money from
our parents' bank accounts
and start our own businesses,
like selling women over the
Internet to the highest bidder,
drugs, blackmail, and extortion.
I'll be darned.
Hey, look who it is!
Tracey Gold, Soleil Moon
Pie, and Cindy Crawford.
And which one of you
had the breast reduction?
That was me, Punky Brewster.
[chuckles] Yeah. Oh,
had them lifted, huh?
What's that? Oh, that's
where the nipple ended up.
Oh, pardon my confusion.
And who's this
woman to your left?
Oh, that's Cindy Crawford.
I see you've had
some collagen injection.
Yeah, she did. Uh, lovely.
And I see you had
your mole augmented.
And who would have thought
you could have improved
your award-winning smile?
Uh, excuse me, Captain.
Is that a gray hair?
What did you say,
you fish-mouthed freak?
Somebody call security.
[giggling] Oh, my God.
Let's go!
And it's time for
Great Holes of Glory!
Find the appropriate
opening and pop through it
hopefully without much
residual tearing. [tweet]
Get it on! And they're off!
Both teams trying to
penetrate those glory holes,
never knowing what awaits
them on the other side, Ken.
Hey, look who's in front.
It's Steve Urkel and Screech,
both 40-year-old high
schoolers. Right you are.
Urkel fists through the door,
and Screech is held back.
For his 17th year of high
school. Right you are.
And there, Road Apple
Computer founder Steve Jobs.
Yeah, isn't he the
dude who discovered
the Silicone Valley
where he did boob Jobs?
Ah, right you are, Ken.
And the competition heating up.
The have-mores want it all,
but the has-beens want it back,
and they're looking for
a little recognition, Ken.
And bringing up the
rear it's the entire cast
of Facts of Life.
Oh! And there, Oprah
Winfrey enjoying a mud bath.
I think she's making
her own mud.
Right you are.
Back to our leaders!
Oh! Urkel through
another opening.
Wow, he's an
amazing glory-holer.
And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.
Take another look.
This is textbook,
top-notch glory-holing.
Always lead with your hand
while maintaining
forward pressure
no matter how much
mud you encounter.
That's got to be a shot
of satisfaction. Indeed.
And right there, Diff'rent
Stroker Todd Bridges
trying to make a
race war out of it.
He punches through
with rectumless abandon.
And they're all being rewarded
for completing the course
with Peruvian marching powder.
Hey, guess what I did.
I replaced that nose
candy with 2 kilos
of pure granulated
powdered sugar.
They're going to be
pissed. Right you are.
And still trying to
finish is J.K. Growlings,
author of Hairy Couter
and the Secret Sphincter.
And there's Hasbenio Hall.
Well, finally, Todd Bridges
does something
right in his life,
putting the Where Are They
Now? Team on top, 1 to nothing.
Let's go to Guy, who's
talking to Nikki Stilton.
What would you like
to talk about, Nikki?
Anything but my sister
Paris. Ugh, God, I hate her.
So what is it like for
you to be Paris' sister?
I just said I don't
want to talk about her.
Oh, okay. Back to you.
What do you think
Paris is doing right now?
She's probably drunk,
sucking down a few
at the Paris Hilton.
Hey, Vic, did you see
that Paris Stilton video?
Man, it was hot.
[scoffs] Of course I
didn't see it, Kenny.
The video quality was terrible,
it was poor sound, and
I didn't like her shoes.
So, no, I didn't see it. Haha!
When MXC returns,
eat mud pie or die!
[chuckles] Got it, fuzz knuckle?
[Announcer] MXC is back
as the filthy-richers
take on the
ain't-life-a-bitchers.
Kenny, many of
our cultural icons
come from television
commercials.
Like the kids
favorite, Joe Camel.
Ah, for me it was
Captain Morgan. [laughing]
And with another blast
from the past, here's Guy.
What's the best tuna
sickened by the sea?
Now, you remember the
company's mascot, Sandy Spermaid.
Hello.
Sandy left the company
after developing a
serious mercury habit,
and she's now settled
down in San Diego
with her husband Spermu.
Your skin is a
little dry and scaly.
Ooh! [quavering]
Are you boneless?
Spermaids are hot.
Ah, but sadly on the
endangered species list, Ken.
She can help me
free my willy. Indeed.
Okay, Sandy, the
interview is over.
Time to go back to the sea, you
little tuna tart. Oh, he's so forceful.
Get ready for Guy's big blast.
I will spray you like the
bad girl you are, huh?
[screaming]
Take that! [cackling]
[sputtering, coughing]
Oh, I can't swim!
Help! I have more still.
How does my hair look?
Time for Mudd Butlers.
Each player taps an
inflated gall bladder,
sending it down the
Maze of Mayhem.
They race down the Steps of Doom
and attempt to
catch the swollen orb
before it flies into the
bog of mystery fluid.
[tweet] Get it on!
Eat the bone!
And first up for the
Mega-Millionaries,
it's sausage king
Jimmy Junkdean.
Yeah, it looks like he just
came from the slaughter house.
Well, you know, Ken, it's still
a privately owned company.
He insists on
handling his own meat.
If he's so rich, why doesn't
he get someone else
to handle his meat or
smoke his sausage for him?
Ah, that's a good question, Ken.
But look at that. The
ball slipped out of the pan.
That's no good.
And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.
I hate when my balls
slip out of my pans.
And you can see right there
that the ball adjusts
itself slightly just to the left.
Just wants to go to the left.
I pity the fool!
And here, of course, Mr. Teabag.
He's part of
television's A-Team.
Part? He was, like,
the A-hole Team.
Right you are.
And who can forget
him as Clubber Lang?
From those Rocky Horror movies.
Right. Oh!
And Teabag is steeped
in our septic sludge.
And no overtime!
And here's Robert Screwem
from the discount department
chain Screwemall-Mart.
Yeah, shop Screwemall-Mart...
Low quality, low prices.
That's right. No one can
beat their low quality, Ken.
I heard a torado hit their store
and caused a hundred thousand
dollars' worth of improvements.
There you go. Let's
see what happens here.
The bladder comes
down. Oh! A good leap,
but he missed it, and
he's down into the sludge.
I puked on Tony Danza.
And guess who this is.
It's Fanny Mantaro.
He played "Jonatan"
on Who's the Boss?
Oh, yeah. I remember that show.
Yeah, Tony Danza
used to clean the closet
and Fanny Mantaro
came out of it.
Well, Kenny, I don't think
anyone's sexual preference
has any bearing or relevence
in either acting
or athletics... oh...
As he buries himself up
to the rim in the mud, Ken.
Ha ha. Nice one.
Thank you, Ken.
Let's take another look.
Top-notch Mudd Butlery.
So, our viewers want to know
what does Alyssa
Mulatto look like naked?
That's not for me. [laughs]
Gross.
I did see Tony Danza naked.
Talk about your veal rollatini.
[both laughing]
Ready, begin. One...
And next up for the millionaires...
or should I say billionaires...
It's Ashley Molson.
Yeah, she's one-third
of my ultimate fantasy.
I think you mean one-half, Ken.
No, no, no. There's her,
Mary-Kate and the Barbie twins.
Ah, I'm glad to see the new math
is paying off for you, Ken.
As Ashley lines herself up,
using her wonder-twin powers
to try to sense where the
bladder is coming down.
She extends the bucket,
and she's done it, Ken!
Oh, wow, Ashley finally
did something on her own.
Right you are.
And she lays there,
wallowing in the watery reekage.
Yeah, it's bilge water overflow
from Captain Stooping's
Love Boat latrine.
That is one foul
facial, my friend.
Hah!
[wailing]
And there, of course, Porky,
the special kid from Life Goes On.
Yeah, I bet you
didn't know this.
I went to school with
him. Is that right, Ken.
Yeah, I used to
cheat off his tests.
Ah, that's admirable, Ken.
Did you do well?
No, I copied wrong.
[caterwauling]
I'm going to go back to
the play-by-play now, Ken.
Do you understand that?
[laughs] Where are you going?
And Porky lining
himself up there.
Here comes the bladder,
and he goes down hard.
Good thing he wears
that helmet, like, 24/7.
So, Corky, where
did you study acting?
[British accent] At the Royal
Shakespeare Company,
where I starred in Retard III.
Can you give us a little?
[muddled] Now is the
winter of our discontent...
I'm still a virgin!
And here's Richard Branson,
owner of Virgin Airlines.
Yeah, their planes don't
have seat rows S, T, or D.
And when it comes to the
airlines, Virgin can't be touched.
Yeah, the planes are
cherry. Right you are.
And Mr. Branson take
flight and crash lands, Ken.
And that virgin millionaire
is totally screwed.
So Ashley Molson remains
the good girl in the family
by pulling out a win for
the Mega-Millionaires,
and we're tired at 1 to 1.
The rich are doing well.
Yeah, we get everything.
Kenny, rich people are some
of the hardest working
people in the world.
They deserve every
penny they've earned.
What? Yeah. [laughter]
Ah, you're right. I worked
my ass off, and I got nothing.
When MXC returns,
find out who the
real ball-busters are.
[chuckles] Got it, bunt humper?
[Announcer] MXC is
back as Trump's hairline
takes on the unemployment line.
[laughs] Nice comb-over.
Kenny, tell the audience which
charities today's teams are playing for.
What charities?
For one, the Home
for Rotten Old Actors.
Oh, like Joey Tribbiani?
Exactly. And here's a
couple of millionaires
who might just surprise you.
It's time for the Lifestyles
of the Rich and Lamest,
with Nicole Bitchie and
Sans Paris Flatoulous.
Hoopah! Opah!
[chuckles] I'm rich, I'm
Greek, and I dumped Paris.
Why? Because I'm Greek,
and I have my own herd of sheep.
I'm Nicole Bitchie and
I've got my own money.
But when that runs out,
I've got my daddy's money.
Hey, my Oreo cookie, let's
combine bank accounts.
I've got an urge to merge.
I couldn't do that.
Paris is my friend.
But we could help the poor.
No way. No way.
It's time for Ball Busters.
Try to get to first base
without getting beaned
by Donny "Big Hands" Johnson.
Ha ha, I got a shiny new sword.
[laughing]
[whistle blows] Get it on.
What was it again?
Oh, yeah. That's hot!
And up first for
the rich and famous
is professional
millionairess Paris Stilton,
who had this sage-like
advice for the less fortunate.
If you just had millions of
dollars, you wouldn't be so poor.
And, of course, Paris' father
made his fortune in hotels.
Yeah. And she made
hers in hotel rooms.
Oh! And there she takes
a slider to the backside.
Let's take another look, Ken.
You can see right
there Big Hands
and that big curved
one right down the pipe.
Ha ha. That'll be
on the Internet soon.
Hey, listen to this. [fart]
And up next, it's
Latin heartthrob
Sticky Martin from Man-udo.
Isn't he living La Vida Homo?
I'm not sure, Ken. Hah!
Let's see what hap...
Oh, there's a curve
ball just outside.
[Big Hands] Oh, gah!
Sticky continues
to shuffle along.
Big Hands comes
around with a slider.
Oh! And he is hit hard and...
Hasta la fista, baby.
Hasta la fista, baby.
You know, Ken, I've been
known to live the la vida loca.
Oh, dude, your
breath is killing me.
[deep voice] I'm not a guy.
And here's future millionaire
and vice presidential
daughter Kerry Cheney.
I hear she's just
a heartbeat away
from getting her dad's dough.
Right you are, Ken. And also,
she says she has
no party affiliation.
Oh! I thought she
was a Lesbyterian.
Well, she never saw
eye-to-eye with Dick.
Big Hands misses
with the first ball.
Yeah, if he misses
again, she'll have two balls.
Oh, and she's down, Ken.
And that is our MXC
Impact Replay... Aah!
As Kerry takes a high hard one
from Big Hands Johnson
right in the sweet spot.
As you can see right
here, it's instant satisfaction.
My skin's dry.
Well, he's all grown up now,
but here's our lovable and
precocious little scene stealer
from Jerry Maguire.
That's Jonathan Lipnicki.
Oh, as he takes
one to the outside.
Yeah, he played Renée
Zellweger's retarded son.
Oh, Kenny, I thought
he was adorable.
[Big Hands] Oh,
here we go. Whatever.
It was a chick flick. I
wasn't really watching.
Oh! Look at my new
sword. I just bought it.
And strike, right
down the middle.
It looks like Big Hands
had him at "hello and away."
And up next for the Millionaires,
playboy Hugh Huffner.
The grotto is gross.
Around the mansion,
he's known as Money Bags.
His girlfriends are
known as Fun Bags.
And, of course,
Mr. Huffner always been
at the forefront of
the sexual revolution.
Yeah, he also writes
dirty magazines.
And there's a pitch
down low for a ball.
You know, Huffner doesn't just
publish tasteful nude pictorials, Ken.
There's also intelligent
and informative articles.
Yeah, like "Girls
of the Big Ten."
Right you are. Oh!
And he takes one
right in the centerfold,
and he is down.
Must be weird without
seven girlfriends
to break his fall.
Right you are. Let's
go down to Guy.
Uh, don't ask me
about the Viagra.
Okay, huh?
Oh, no problem.
I can respect that.
[clears throat] Guy here.
I'm standing with Hugh Huffner,
who asked me not to
discuss that he uses Viagra.
Now tell me about you run.
What happened?
Go ahead, set it up.
All right, I got hit in
the money-maker,
and I, uh, couldn't get up.
Okay. So you couldn't get up.
You should have used Viagra.
You had to say it, didn't you?
But I didn't say that.
I was just commenting on
your run and what you said.
No, you weren't. You
were talking about Viagra.
I could have talked
about the grotto incident
with him and Judge Judy.
Joanie blows! Huff,
I'll see you tonight.
And up next, it's Scott Beowulf
from Joanie Degloves Chachi
and the set of Baywatch.
How did Chachi get to
nail Pamela Anderson?
That's like Gary Coleman
getting Halle Berry,
or you getting a date at all.
For your information,
I have gotten four hits
Three, of course, were
spam, and one turned out to be
a very nice fellow from Munich.
What do I care? I got
more money than God.
And here's multi-billionaire
investor Warren Buffet.
Yeah, didn't he invent
all those all-you-can-eat
places in Vegas?
No, Kenny. I believe
he made his money
with his prudent investment
strategy in blue chip stocks.
You know what I like
about those buffets?
You can get butterscotch
on your scrambled eggs
or your shrimp cocktail sundaes.
Kenny, he has nothing
to do with food services.
We're talking about
investments in companies
like Coca-Cola, Gillette,
Fruit of the Loom.
I always skip the
fruit at the buffet.
Johnson readies for another one.
Kenny, he's worth
over $40 billion.
Yeah, he'd be worth more if he
had a porta-potty at every table.
Oh! And that looks
like all Buffet can eat.
He is down. Maybe a urinal
trough at the beer fountain.
[sighs] Kenny.
Well, anyways, Ball Busters
is a complete bust for both
teams as nobody scores,
and it's still tied up 1 to 1.
Kenny, you know what TV
classic I miss a lot? What?
Ally McBeal,
starring the waifish
yet witty and urbane
Calista Flockhart.
Hah! You mean that
skinny has-been lawyer chick
who's going out with that Star
Wars guy who played Yoda?
Well, Kenny, I'll have you know
that she just landed a
recurring role on Boston Legal
as William Shatner's coat rack.
What do you think of that?
When MXC returns,
ride, ride, ride
the wild sludge!
[laughs] Got it, squirt bag?
[Announcer] MXC is back
for the final battle
of the millionaires
taking on the has-beens.
It's big buck and jewels
versus yesterday's news.
Hah! This is our tribute
to Donny and Marie.
I'm Donny, and she's Marie.
I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll,
and she's a little bit ugly.
Hey! Ow!
Lately, I've been
appearing on Broadway,
and she's been in therapy for
depression and suicide watch.
[laughs] I'm telling you what.
Oh! Aah!
Her hands are huge!
Take that. Ta-da!
[muttering]
[Both] ♪ H.R. Huff and Huff ♪
♪ It's time for surfboards,
death, and stuff ♪
♪ You can't get away when
you're wearing handcuffs ♪
[whistle blows] Get it on.
Have a nice day!
And first up, Condomglomerate
owner Joe Phallactic.
Yeah, he wears that
suit for extra protection.
I bet he gets
ribbed about it. Oh!
And he's down, Ken.
Yeah, he tipped
right into our reservoir.
Right you are.
And up next, it's Full
House on the Prairie
and America's Phoniest
Home Video star, Bob Gagets.
Yeah, I love that show.
I set Nana Blankenship up once.
I see. He's over
the pink dolpin.
Yeah, she was sleeping,
and I put some
peanut butter on her,
and I locked the
neighbor's dog in there,
and they wouldn't air it.
Aw, what a shame.
Right there, loses his balance.
Oh! He's down on his Dave
Coulier and into the fluid, Ken.
Let's take another look.
You can see right there
he Mary-Kates his Ashley,
and it's all over. Ha!
Look at me now! Screw you all!
And with $51
million in the bank,
he's still angry
about high school.
Here's Microsoft
founder Will Gates.
Hah, what a nerd.
And he boots up over
the pink dolphin and...
Oh! Oh!
He downloads himself like a
piece of virus-riddled spam.
And that's our
MXC Impact Replay.
Yeah, right there.
He does a pop-up,
and then he just
XP'd in his pants.
Right you are, Ken.
I beat my wife.
And up next, it's heavyweight
action zero, Steven Steagal.
Wow, he got fat.
Be careful what you say, Ken.
He does have three black belts.
Yeah, but he has to
tie them all together
to cinch his muumuu.
Right you are, Ken.
A little bit of trouble
with the first pink dolphin,
up onto the platform.
The Huffsters are there.
Yeah, every movie he's done,
his gut gets bigger, and
his audience gets smaller.
Right you are.
Oh! And he can't
quite hang on, Ken.
I guess his days of living
large are just beginning.
Wow, it's dark. I think Kirstie
Alley just walked in front of the sun.
In the name of the Father
and the Son, you're fired!
And next up, alleged
billionaire Donald Hump.
Yeah, he's one of those
"entremanure" guys.
Right you are, Ken.
He's had to overcome
many hurdles in his life.
Oh! But he can't
get over that one.
His helmet got wet.
Oh, wait. That's his hair.
Scram!
And up next, the politically
incorrect Howie Mandela.
Oh, yeah. He's that comic who also
works aparthied as President of Africa.
Well, not exactly, Ken.
Look at that. A textbook
Leaning Zambezi.
Yeah, remember that time
he blew up that rubber
glove over his head
at the Ignited Nations?
Sorry, Ken, I was too busy
watching the news that day.
And let's see... Oh! Oh! Hah.
And he extends his hand
for peace with the dolphin,
but is overthrown
into our septic sludge.
Let's take another look, Ken.
What is that septic
sludge, by the way?
That's sweat from the
backs of the workers
who made these
Mega-Millionaires filthy rich.
Ah, spoken like a true Marxist.
Groucho was my favorite.
And up next, Mary-Kate Molson.
I have to throw up!
She, of course, the other half
of the billionaire Molson twins.
Aah! What's wrong with her?
Perhaps she's a
little hungry, Ken.
Aw, man, she should
stop eating so much.
She's having problems
keeping her drugs down.
Indeed! She recklessly takes out the first
pink dolphin, up on the platform there,
past the Huffers like a couple
of pushers she owes money to.
With her money, she
should pay someone
to be addicted to drugs for her.
I only wish that
opportunity was open to me.
Oh! And she is
down into the drink.
At least she's off the drugs.
Right you are. Let's
take another look.
As you can see here, this run,
not unlike her tragic life,
wreaking havoc and
destruction wherever she goes,
and there, clinging onto
what's left of her career,
all for naught.
I'd still do her.
[lisping] I'm the son of Satan.
And up next, it's Tom Cruises.
He mysteriously
dropped out of sight,
but some guy got
his wife pregnant.
If I ever find out who
got Katie pregnant,
I'll probably have to thank him.
And remember, you
heard it here first on MXC.
I'm confused. Is he a
millionaire or a has-been?
I know he has a lot of money,
but I don't care
where he's been,
I don't want him near me.
Right you are, Ken.
Here he comes
up on the platform.
Huff and Huff seem to accept
him fully and completely.
And we've got a
one-legged Top Gun strider,
risked his business,
and with eyes wide shut,
he has done it with
all the right moves!
The winner! And
Cruises cruises to victory!
He's going to celebrate
with a few good men.
So, after four games,
the Where Are They
Nows win it all 2 to 1.
Wow!
Well, Ken, I bet the Where Are
They Nowers are flying high, huh?
What? Flying high.
Forget it.
You know, I think it's cool
they made you honorary
captain of the has-beens.
Yes. Thrilled to
the brink of suicide.
[clears throat]
Well, it's time for...
And starting out at number
10, it's Ofrah Winfree,
who thinks she is
at a swanky spa.
As she takes a
septic bubble bath.
Number 9, goes to sausage
king, Jimmy Junk Dean,
who totally Kelbasa's himself.
What an Oscar Meyers Weiner.
And number 8,
goes to Paris Stilton.
Who gets balled hard. Goes
down hard. And lands on her back.
Everything she's good at.
And number 7 goes to
Sicken of the Sea Vermaid,
who was totally hosed by Guy.
And lands in our lake.
Now it's gonna smell like fish!
Number 6, goes to self
outed actor, Fanny Mantero.
Who tosses himself into our mud
lake like he was tossing a salad.
At number 5 is condom
magnate Joe Phallactic.
Who disgards himself
at our septic sewer,
wrapper and all.
And number 4 is Vice President's
secret daughter
Presbiterian Kerry Cheney.
Poor girl's not used
to balls coming at her.
And number 3 goes
to Howie Mandella.
He starts out okay,
but then blows it.
I'm giving him the Nobel
Falls to Pieces Prize.
And making the biggest
movement to number 2, it's Porky,
who's has one
seriously muddy run.
And my Most Painful
Elimination of the Day
goes to computer
nerd Will Gates,
who should stick
to surfing the net
'cause he downloads himself
and has a complete system crash.
That totally gigabites.
Ha!
Okay, while Vic's
reflecting on his lame career,
I'll take us out.
What do we always say?
[all] Don't get elimiated!
You know, Kenny. It's unfair
to catagorize me as a has-been.
I've had some troubles
but I made a comeback.
I rebuilt my career.
I am now a have now.
I'm of the-Kenny?
Guys?
Where the hell did...?
Oh God!
[gun cocks and shoots]
[body falls] Damn it, I missed.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
fired up for MXC,
the world's most toughest
competition in town!
Today it's have-mores
versus has-beens,
as the Mega-Millionaires take on
the Where Are They Nows?
It's a classic battle
of gazillions versus Gilligans.
And now, two guys
you can take to the bank,
Kenny Blankenship
and Vic Romano.
Ah, good show. Huh, Ken?
Yeah, rich people.
Ah, don't forget
those former favorites.
Yeah, like Mork's wife.
Ah, you're referring
to Pam Dawber.
You know, Pam's still
on TV. On Mork reruns.
Kenny! Hah!
Anybody know what
happened to Papa Smurf?
He was a good actor. Kenny!
What about John
Kerry? [grunting]
Um, how about Ben Affleck?
Ugh! Ron Jeremy?
No, Kenny! Let's get serious.
I am talking about millionaires.
Like Papa Smurf? He made bank.
I am talking about
self-made men,
the captains of industry.
Oh, like Scrooge McDuck
or Richie Rich, right?
Kenny, I'm talking about
great fortunes like Gates,
Forbes, Rockefeller,
Trump, the Maloofs,
the Heinzes, the Waltons.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, uh, Jed Clampett.
Ah. You know, I always
had a thing for Ms. Hathaway.
Ha ha! Guy here.
In case you were wondering
where I am now, I'm here!
And I bet you're saying,
"What's in Guy's box?"
This is gold-plated dandruff
from Donald Trump's
comb-over brush.
Today's battle begins with the
ever-popular Great Holes of Glory,
the obscuriously
delicious Mudd Butlers,
then we try to get to third
base with Ball Busters.
Then take your best money shot
at Rotating Surfboard of Death.
I am so wealthy, I'm rich!
I'm rich! [gibberish]
Skipper!
[straining]
Question: How many think
the wealthy are undertaxed,
overfed, and line their pockets
at the expense of Joe Lunchpail?
Show of hands now!
[cheering] Well you're wrong.
If it wasn't for the wealthy,
there'd be more poor people
who wouldn't even have
a Jar Jar Binks lunchbox
to piss in!
What say you, young preppies?
We're the Millionaire Boys Club.
Tell me more about it.
It wasn't my idea.
I wasn't even there.
I'm not involved.
Yeah, we steal money from
our parents' bank accounts
and start our own businesses,
like selling women over the
Internet to the highest bidder,
drugs, blackmail, and extortion.
I'll be darned.
Hey, look who it is!
Tracey Gold, Soleil Moon
Pie, and Cindy Crawford.
And which one of you
had the breast reduction?
That was me, Punky Brewster.
[chuckles] Yeah. Oh,
had them lifted, huh?
What's that? Oh, that's
where the nipple ended up.
Oh, pardon my confusion.
And who's this
woman to your left?
Oh, that's Cindy Crawford.
I see you've had
some collagen injection.
Yeah, she did. Uh, lovely.
And I see you had
your mole augmented.
And who would have thought
you could have improved
your award-winning smile?
Uh, excuse me, Captain.
Is that a gray hair?
What did you say,
you fish-mouthed freak?
Somebody call security.
[giggling] Oh, my God.
Let's go!
And it's time for
Great Holes of Glory!
Find the appropriate
opening and pop through it
hopefully without much
residual tearing. [tweet]
Get it on! And they're off!
Both teams trying to
penetrate those glory holes,
never knowing what awaits
them on the other side, Ken.
Hey, look who's in front.
It's Steve Urkel and Screech,
both 40-year-old high
schoolers. Right you are.
Urkel fists through the door,
and Screech is held back.
For his 17th year of high
school. Right you are.
And there, Road Apple
Computer founder Steve Jobs.
Yeah, isn't he the
dude who discovered
the Silicone Valley
where he did boob Jobs?
Ah, right you are, Ken.
And the competition heating up.
The have-mores want it all,
but the has-beens want it back,
and they're looking for
a little recognition, Ken.
And bringing up the
rear it's the entire cast
of Facts of Life.
Oh! And there, Oprah
Winfrey enjoying a mud bath.
I think she's making
her own mud.
Right you are.
Back to our leaders!
Oh! Urkel through
another opening.
Wow, he's an
amazing glory-holer.
And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.
Take another look.
This is textbook,
top-notch glory-holing.
Always lead with your hand
while maintaining
forward pressure
no matter how much
mud you encounter.
That's got to be a shot
of satisfaction. Indeed.
And right there, Diff'rent
Stroker Todd Bridges
trying to make a
race war out of it.
He punches through
with rectumless abandon.
And they're all being rewarded
for completing the course
with Peruvian marching powder.
Hey, guess what I did.
I replaced that nose
candy with 2 kilos
of pure granulated
powdered sugar.
They're going to be
pissed. Right you are.
And still trying to
finish is J.K. Growlings,
author of Hairy Couter
and the Secret Sphincter.
And there's Hasbenio Hall.
Well, finally, Todd Bridges
does something
right in his life,
putting the Where Are They
Now? Team on top, 1 to nothing.
Let's go to Guy, who's
talking to Nikki Stilton.
What would you like
to talk about, Nikki?
Anything but my sister
Paris. Ugh, God, I hate her.
So what is it like for
you to be Paris' sister?
I just said I don't
want to talk about her.
Oh, okay. Back to you.
What do you think
Paris is doing right now?
She's probably drunk,
sucking down a few
at the Paris Hilton.
Hey, Vic, did you see
that Paris Stilton video?
Man, it was hot.
[scoffs] Of course I
didn't see it, Kenny.
The video quality was terrible,
it was poor sound, and
I didn't like her shoes.
So, no, I didn't see it. Haha!
When MXC returns,
eat mud pie or die!
[chuckles] Got it, fuzz knuckle?
[Announcer] MXC is back
as the filthy-richers
take on the
ain't-life-a-bitchers.
Kenny, many of
our cultural icons
come from television
commercials.
Like the kids
favorite, Joe Camel.
Ah, for me it was
Captain Morgan. [laughing]
And with another blast
from the past, here's Guy.
What's the best tuna
sickened by the sea?
Now, you remember the
company's mascot, Sandy Spermaid.
Hello.
Sandy left the company
after developing a
serious mercury habit,
and she's now settled
down in San Diego
with her husband Spermu.
Your skin is a
little dry and scaly.
Ooh! [quavering]
Are you boneless?
Spermaids are hot.
Ah, but sadly on the
endangered species list, Ken.
She can help me
free my willy. Indeed.
Okay, Sandy, the
interview is over.
Time to go back to the sea, you
little tuna tart. Oh, he's so forceful.
Get ready for Guy's big blast.
I will spray you like the
bad girl you are, huh?
[screaming]
Take that! [cackling]
[sputtering, coughing]
Oh, I can't swim!
Help! I have more still.
How does my hair look?
Time for Mudd Butlers.
Each player taps an
inflated gall bladder,
sending it down the
Maze of Mayhem.
They race down the Steps of Doom
and attempt to
catch the swollen orb
before it flies into the
bog of mystery fluid.
[tweet] Get it on!
Eat the bone!
And first up for the
Mega-Millionaries,
it's sausage king
Jimmy Junkdean.
Yeah, it looks like he just
came from the slaughter house.
Well, you know, Ken, it's still
a privately owned company.
He insists on
handling his own meat.
If he's so rich, why doesn't
he get someone else
to handle his meat or
smoke his sausage for him?
Ah, that's a good question, Ken.
But look at that. The
ball slipped out of the pan.
That's no good.
And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.
I hate when my balls
slip out of my pans.
And you can see right there
that the ball adjusts
itself slightly just to the left.
Just wants to go to the left.
I pity the fool!
And here, of course, Mr. Teabag.
He's part of
television's A-Team.
Part? He was, like,
the A-hole Team.
Right you are.
And who can forget
him as Clubber Lang?
From those Rocky Horror movies.
Right. Oh!
And Teabag is steeped
in our septic sludge.
And no overtime!
And here's Robert Screwem
from the discount department
chain Screwemall-Mart.
Yeah, shop Screwemall-Mart...
Low quality, low prices.
That's right. No one can
beat their low quality, Ken.
I heard a torado hit their store
and caused a hundred thousand
dollars' worth of improvements.
There you go. Let's
see what happens here.
The bladder comes
down. Oh! A good leap,
but he missed it, and
he's down into the sludge.
I puked on Tony Danza.
And guess who this is.
It's Fanny Mantaro.
He played "Jonatan"
on Who's the Boss?
Oh, yeah. I remember that show.
Yeah, Tony Danza
used to clean the closet
and Fanny Mantaro
came out of it.
Well, Kenny, I don't think
anyone's sexual preference
has any bearing or relevence
in either acting
or athletics... oh...
As he buries himself up
to the rim in the mud, Ken.
Ha ha. Nice one.
Thank you, Ken.
Let's take another look.
Top-notch Mudd Butlery.
So, our viewers want to know
what does Alyssa
Mulatto look like naked?
That's not for me. [laughs]
Gross.
I did see Tony Danza naked.
Talk about your veal rollatini.
[both laughing]
Ready, begin. One...
And next up for the millionaires...
or should I say billionaires...
It's Ashley Molson.
Yeah, she's one-third
of my ultimate fantasy.
I think you mean one-half, Ken.
No, no, no. There's her,
Mary-Kate and the Barbie twins.
Ah, I'm glad to see the new math
is paying off for you, Ken.
As Ashley lines herself up,
using her wonder-twin powers
to try to sense where the
bladder is coming down.
She extends the bucket,
and she's done it, Ken!
Oh, wow, Ashley finally
did something on her own.
Right you are.
And she lays there,
wallowing in the watery reekage.
Yeah, it's bilge water overflow
from Captain Stooping's
Love Boat latrine.
That is one foul
facial, my friend.
Hah!
[wailing]
And there, of course, Porky,
the special kid from Life Goes On.
Yeah, I bet you
didn't know this.
I went to school with
him. Is that right, Ken.
Yeah, I used to
cheat off his tests.
Ah, that's admirable, Ken.
Did you do well?
No, I copied wrong.
[caterwauling]
I'm going to go back to
the play-by-play now, Ken.
Do you understand that?
[laughs] Where are you going?
And Porky lining
himself up there.
Here comes the bladder,
and he goes down hard.
Good thing he wears
that helmet, like, 24/7.
So, Corky, where
did you study acting?
[British accent] At the Royal
Shakespeare Company,
where I starred in Retard III.
Can you give us a little?
[muddled] Now is the
winter of our discontent...
I'm still a virgin!
And here's Richard Branson,
owner of Virgin Airlines.
Yeah, their planes don't
have seat rows S, T, or D.
And when it comes to the
airlines, Virgin can't be touched.
Yeah, the planes are
cherry. Right you are.
And Mr. Branson take
flight and crash lands, Ken.
And that virgin millionaire
is totally screwed.
So Ashley Molson remains
the good girl in the family
by pulling out a win for
the Mega-Millionaires,
and we're tired at 1 to 1.
The rich are doing well.
Yeah, we get everything.
Kenny, rich people are some
of the hardest working
people in the world.
They deserve every
penny they've earned.
What? Yeah. [laughter]
Ah, you're right. I worked
my ass off, and I got nothing.
When MXC returns,
find out who the
real ball-busters are.
[chuckles] Got it, bunt humper?
[Announcer] MXC is
back as Trump's hairline
takes on the unemployment line.
[laughs] Nice comb-over.
Kenny, tell the audience which
charities today's teams are playing for.
What charities?
For one, the Home
for Rotten Old Actors.
Oh, like Joey Tribbiani?
Exactly. And here's a
couple of millionaires
who might just surprise you.
It's time for the Lifestyles
of the Rich and Lamest,
with Nicole Bitchie and
Sans Paris Flatoulous.
Hoopah! Opah!
[chuckles] I'm rich, I'm
Greek, and I dumped Paris.
Why? Because I'm Greek,
and I have my own herd of sheep.
I'm Nicole Bitchie and
I've got my own money.
But when that runs out,
I've got my daddy's money.
Hey, my Oreo cookie, let's
combine bank accounts.
I've got an urge to merge.
I couldn't do that.
Paris is my friend.
But we could help the poor.
No way. No way.
It's time for Ball Busters.
Try to get to first base
without getting beaned
by Donny "Big Hands" Johnson.
Ha ha, I got a shiny new sword.
[laughing]
[whistle blows] Get it on.
What was it again?
Oh, yeah. That's hot!
And up first for
the rich and famous
is professional
millionairess Paris Stilton,
who had this sage-like
advice for the less fortunate.
If you just had millions of
dollars, you wouldn't be so poor.
And, of course, Paris' father
made his fortune in hotels.
Yeah. And she made
hers in hotel rooms.
Oh! And there she takes
a slider to the backside.
Let's take another look, Ken.
You can see right
there Big Hands
and that big curved
one right down the pipe.
Ha ha. That'll be
on the Internet soon.
Hey, listen to this. [fart]
And up next, it's
Latin heartthrob
Sticky Martin from Man-udo.
Isn't he living La Vida Homo?
I'm not sure, Ken. Hah!
Let's see what hap...
Oh, there's a curve
ball just outside.
[Big Hands] Oh, gah!
Sticky continues
to shuffle along.
Big Hands comes
around with a slider.
Oh! And he is hit hard and...
Hasta la fista, baby.
Hasta la fista, baby.
You know, Ken, I've been
known to live the la vida loca.
Oh, dude, your
breath is killing me.
[deep voice] I'm not a guy.
And here's future millionaire
and vice presidential
daughter Kerry Cheney.
I hear she's just
a heartbeat away
from getting her dad's dough.
Right you are, Ken. And also,
she says she has
no party affiliation.
Oh! I thought she
was a Lesbyterian.
Well, she never saw
eye-to-eye with Dick.
Big Hands misses
with the first ball.
Yeah, if he misses
again, she'll have two balls.
Oh, and she's down, Ken.
And that is our MXC
Impact Replay... Aah!
As Kerry takes a high hard one
from Big Hands Johnson
right in the sweet spot.
As you can see right
here, it's instant satisfaction.
My skin's dry.
Well, he's all grown up now,
but here's our lovable and
precocious little scene stealer
from Jerry Maguire.
That's Jonathan Lipnicki.
Oh, as he takes
one to the outside.
Yeah, he played Renée
Zellweger's retarded son.
Oh, Kenny, I thought
he was adorable.
[Big Hands] Oh,
here we go. Whatever.
It was a chick flick. I
wasn't really watching.
Oh! Look at my new
sword. I just bought it.
And strike, right
down the middle.
It looks like Big Hands
had him at "hello and away."
And up next for the Millionaires,
playboy Hugh Huffner.
The grotto is gross.
Around the mansion,
he's known as Money Bags.
His girlfriends are
known as Fun Bags.
And, of course,
Mr. Huffner always been
at the forefront of
the sexual revolution.
Yeah, he also writes
dirty magazines.
And there's a pitch
down low for a ball.
You know, Huffner doesn't just
publish tasteful nude pictorials, Ken.
There's also intelligent
and informative articles.
Yeah, like "Girls
of the Big Ten."
Right you are. Oh!
And he takes one
right in the centerfold,
and he is down.
Must be weird without
seven girlfriends
to break his fall.
Right you are. Let's
go down to Guy.
Uh, don't ask me
about the Viagra.
Okay, huh?
Oh, no problem.
I can respect that.
[clears throat] Guy here.
I'm standing with Hugh Huffner,
who asked me not to
discuss that he uses Viagra.
Now tell me about you run.
What happened?
Go ahead, set it up.
All right, I got hit in
the money-maker,
and I, uh, couldn't get up.
Okay. So you couldn't get up.
You should have used Viagra.
You had to say it, didn't you?
But I didn't say that.
I was just commenting on
your run and what you said.
No, you weren't. You
were talking about Viagra.
I could have talked
about the grotto incident
with him and Judge Judy.
Joanie blows! Huff,
I'll see you tonight.
And up next, it's Scott Beowulf
from Joanie Degloves Chachi
and the set of Baywatch.
How did Chachi get to
nail Pamela Anderson?
That's like Gary Coleman
getting Halle Berry,
or you getting a date at all.
For your information,
I have gotten four hits
Three, of course, were
spam, and one turned out to be
a very nice fellow from Munich.
What do I care? I got
more money than God.
And here's multi-billionaire
investor Warren Buffet.
Yeah, didn't he invent
all those all-you-can-eat
places in Vegas?
No, Kenny. I believe
he made his money
with his prudent investment
strategy in blue chip stocks.
You know what I like
about those buffets?
You can get butterscotch
on your scrambled eggs
or your shrimp cocktail sundaes.
Kenny, he has nothing
to do with food services.
We're talking about
investments in companies
like Coca-Cola, Gillette,
Fruit of the Loom.
I always skip the
fruit at the buffet.
Johnson readies for another one.
Kenny, he's worth
over $40 billion.
Yeah, he'd be worth more if he
had a porta-potty at every table.
Oh! And that looks
like all Buffet can eat.
He is down. Maybe a urinal
trough at the beer fountain.
[sighs] Kenny.
Well, anyways, Ball Busters
is a complete bust for both
teams as nobody scores,
and it's still tied up 1 to 1.
Kenny, you know what TV
classic I miss a lot? What?
Ally McBeal,
starring the waifish
yet witty and urbane
Calista Flockhart.
Hah! You mean that
skinny has-been lawyer chick
who's going out with that Star
Wars guy who played Yoda?
Well, Kenny, I'll have you know
that she just landed a
recurring role on Boston Legal
as William Shatner's coat rack.
What do you think of that?
When MXC returns,
ride, ride, ride
the wild sludge!
[laughs] Got it, squirt bag?
[Announcer] MXC is back
for the final battle
of the millionaires
taking on the has-beens.
It's big buck and jewels
versus yesterday's news.
Hah! This is our tribute
to Donny and Marie.
I'm Donny, and she's Marie.
I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll,
and she's a little bit ugly.
Hey! Ow!
Lately, I've been
appearing on Broadway,
and she's been in therapy for
depression and suicide watch.
[laughs] I'm telling you what.
Oh! Aah!
Her hands are huge!
Take that. Ta-da!
[muttering]
[Both] ♪ H.R. Huff and Huff ♪
♪ It's time for surfboards,
death, and stuff ♪
♪ You can't get away when
you're wearing handcuffs ♪
[whistle blows] Get it on.
Have a nice day!
And first up, Condomglomerate
owner Joe Phallactic.
Yeah, he wears that
suit for extra protection.
I bet he gets
ribbed about it. Oh!
And he's down, Ken.
Yeah, he tipped
right into our reservoir.
Right you are.
And up next, it's Full
House on the Prairie
and America's Phoniest
Home Video star, Bob Gagets.
Yeah, I love that show.
I set Nana Blankenship up once.
I see. He's over
the pink dolpin.
Yeah, she was sleeping,
and I put some
peanut butter on her,
and I locked the
neighbor's dog in there,
and they wouldn't air it.
Aw, what a shame.
Right there, loses his balance.
Oh! He's down on his Dave
Coulier and into the fluid, Ken.
Let's take another look.
You can see right there
he Mary-Kates his Ashley,
and it's all over. Ha!
Look at me now! Screw you all!
And with $51
million in the bank,
he's still angry
about high school.
Here's Microsoft
founder Will Gates.
Hah, what a nerd.
And he boots up over
the pink dolphin and...
Oh! Oh!
He downloads himself like a
piece of virus-riddled spam.
And that's our
MXC Impact Replay.
Yeah, right there.
He does a pop-up,
and then he just
XP'd in his pants.
Right you are, Ken.
I beat my wife.
And up next, it's heavyweight
action zero, Steven Steagal.
Wow, he got fat.
Be careful what you say, Ken.
He does have three black belts.
Yeah, but he has to
tie them all together
to cinch his muumuu.
Right you are, Ken.
A little bit of trouble
with the first pink dolphin,
up onto the platform.
The Huffsters are there.
Yeah, every movie he's done,
his gut gets bigger, and
his audience gets smaller.
Right you are.
Oh! And he can't
quite hang on, Ken.
I guess his days of living
large are just beginning.
Wow, it's dark. I think Kirstie
Alley just walked in front of the sun.
In the name of the Father
and the Son, you're fired!
And next up, alleged
billionaire Donald Hump.
Yeah, he's one of those
"entremanure" guys.
Right you are, Ken.
He's had to overcome
many hurdles in his life.
Oh! But he can't
get over that one.
His helmet got wet.
Oh, wait. That's his hair.
Scram!
And up next, the politically
incorrect Howie Mandela.
Oh, yeah. He's that comic who also
works aparthied as President of Africa.
Well, not exactly, Ken.
Look at that. A textbook
Leaning Zambezi.
Yeah, remember that time
he blew up that rubber
glove over his head
at the Ignited Nations?
Sorry, Ken, I was too busy
watching the news that day.
And let's see... Oh! Oh! Hah.
And he extends his hand
for peace with the dolphin,
but is overthrown
into our septic sludge.
Let's take another look, Ken.
What is that septic
sludge, by the way?
That's sweat from the
backs of the workers
who made these
Mega-Millionaires filthy rich.
Ah, spoken like a true Marxist.
Groucho was my favorite.
And up next, Mary-Kate Molson.
I have to throw up!
She, of course, the other half
of the billionaire Molson twins.
Aah! What's wrong with her?
Perhaps she's a
little hungry, Ken.
Aw, man, she should
stop eating so much.
She's having problems
keeping her drugs down.
Indeed! She recklessly takes out the first
pink dolphin, up on the platform there,
past the Huffers like a couple
of pushers she owes money to.
With her money, she
should pay someone
to be addicted to drugs for her.
I only wish that
opportunity was open to me.
Oh! And she is
down into the drink.
At least she's off the drugs.
Right you are. Let's
take another look.
As you can see here, this run,
not unlike her tragic life,
wreaking havoc and
destruction wherever she goes,
and there, clinging onto
what's left of her career,
all for naught.
I'd still do her.
[lisping] I'm the son of Satan.
And up next, it's Tom Cruises.
He mysteriously
dropped out of sight,
but some guy got
his wife pregnant.
If I ever find out who
got Katie pregnant,
I'll probably have to thank him.
And remember, you
heard it here first on MXC.
I'm confused. Is he a
millionaire or a has-been?
I know he has a lot of money,
but I don't care
where he's been,
I don't want him near me.
Right you are, Ken.
Here he comes
up on the platform.
Huff and Huff seem to accept
him fully and completely.
And we've got a
one-legged Top Gun strider,
risked his business,
and with eyes wide shut,
he has done it with
all the right moves!
The winner! And
Cruises cruises to victory!
He's going to celebrate
with a few good men.
So, after four games,
the Where Are They
Nows win it all 2 to 1.
Wow!
Well, Ken, I bet the Where Are
They Nowers are flying high, huh?
What? Flying high.
Forget it.
You know, I think it's cool
they made you honorary
captain of the has-beens.
Yes. Thrilled to
the brink of suicide.
[clears throat]
Well, it's time for...
And starting out at number
10, it's Ofrah Winfree,
who thinks she is
at a swanky spa.
As she takes a
septic bubble bath.
Number 9, goes to sausage
king, Jimmy Junk Dean,
who totally Kelbasa's himself.
What an Oscar Meyers Weiner.
And number 8,
goes to Paris Stilton.
Who gets balled hard. Goes
down hard. And lands on her back.
Everything she's good at.
And number 7 goes to
Sicken of the Sea Vermaid,
who was totally hosed by Guy.
And lands in our lake.
Now it's gonna smell like fish!
Number 6, goes to self
outed actor, Fanny Mantero.
Who tosses himself into our mud
lake like he was tossing a salad.
At number 5 is condom
magnate Joe Phallactic.
Who disgards himself
at our septic sewer,
wrapper and all.
And number 4 is Vice President's
secret daughter
Presbiterian Kerry Cheney.
Poor girl's not used
to balls coming at her.
And number 3 goes
to Howie Mandella.
He starts out okay,
but then blows it.
I'm giving him the Nobel
Falls to Pieces Prize.
And making the biggest
movement to number 2, it's Porky,
who's has one
seriously muddy run.
And my Most Painful
Elimination of the Day
goes to computer
nerd Will Gates,
who should stick
to surfing the net
'cause he downloads himself
and has a complete system crash.
That totally gigabites.
Ha!
Okay, while Vic's
reflecting on his lame career,
I'll take us out.
What do we always say?
[all] Don't get elimiated!
You know, Kenny. It's unfair
to catagorize me as a has-been.
I've had some troubles
but I made a comeback.
I rebuilt my career.
I am now a have now.
I'm of the-Kenny?
Guys?
Where the hell did...?
Oh God!
[gun cocks and shoots]
[body falls] Damn it, I missed.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA