Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003–…): Season 4, Episode 13 - Hip Hop vs. Horror Movies - full transcript

[Announcer] Get
fired up for MXC,

the world's most toughest
competition in town.

Today it's Music and Monsters

as the world of Hip Hop

takes on Hollywood
Horror Movies.

It's a classic battle of
Rappers versus Rippers.

Yo, yo, now give it up
for our favorite emcees,

Kenny Blankenship
and Vic Romano.

[Kenny] Ha ha.

Yeah. [women laughing]

All right.



[laughing]

Come on, baby. Yeah, baby.

Ah, look at us dancing.

[woman] Whoo!

♪♪ [MC Hammer]

Go, Kenny.

Yeah. Here, you can touch this.

Here, touch this.

[laughs]

Ha ha.

Oh! Oh! Oh, my
God, we're gonna die.

It's the Party Slasher! Hide!

[screaming]

Here. Shh, shh.



Shut up.

[Vic] What the schnizzle
is going on here?

[Kenny] It's Vic. Ah, whew.

[woman screams] Shh.

Quiet.

Kenny, what's going on here?

Gosh, how'd you see me?

Kenny, get up.

What is this? [Man]
Oh, yeah. Busted!

Are you having some
kind of party? Huh?

Sit down.

Oh, yeah, I'm just
having a few friends over.

Shut up.

Yeah, you said you weren't
gonna be back for two days.

Actually, I'm just getting ready
for our Hip Hop Horror Show.

Hey, mad props to whoever
came up with this one.

Well, I'm more of a
horror fan, you know.

[laughs] He said whore.

And our two teams are back there

warming up the screen world's

most famous
villains and monsters

against your gangster
friends. Let's go down to Guy.

Guy here, your friendly
neighborhood horror monger.

I'm all hip hopped up

just thinking of all the
booty-licious ghouls

who are dying to
have me for dinner.

The bloodbath begins
with Cheese Squeezers,

then we cut to Runaway Stump,

after which we Dash to Death,

and we rest in pieces
with Sinkers and Floaters.

With me is Leo "Left Leg" Lopez,

a dead rapper bling-singer
from Rodeo Drive.

Who are you wearing?

That is two of
Tupac's knuckle rings.

And this? EZ E's
wrist death-watch.

Oh, very West Coast.
And may I point to that?

That's my Medic Alert bracelet.

I'm allegeric to peanuts.

Oh, do you have
something for Guy?

Yeah, Biggie Small's
anaconda ring right here.

Whoa!

Question... who here
thinks rap music glorifies

lawlessness, violence, drug use,

and disrespect for
women? Show of hands now.

[all] I do!

Oh, well, you're wrong.
It's just dance music.

Get a life, for God's sake.

If you don't like it, take off.

A pair of baggy
pants and a do-rag

does not a murderer make.

Like you, Bestiality
Boys. Yeah, right.

What up, dawg? Yo. Word?

You are perfect examples of
the rap music phenomenon.

Even though you are just
white boys from Long Island,

you've got me
straight trippin', boyee.

Who do we have here?

Four of the horror world's
most popular scream queens.

Go ahead, ladies, say hi.

[all scream]

And here's Leatherface from
the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

What happened to your face?

A little chainsaw accident?

Yeah, I was clearing some
orange trees in the back yard

and the darn thing
kicked back on me.

I guess you can't
kill coeds all the time.

No, but I'd like to. [laughs]

Work!

[Vic] And it's time for
Cheese Squeezers,

where contestants must
grab a chunk of cheese

and squeeze it into its mold.
[Kenny] Yeah, before the game,

I went down and cut the cheese

like everybody else
is about to. Indeed.

And the team who shoves
the most mold into the mold

will be crowned head cheese.
Let's go down to the action.

Ah, there's Rap Republican

and unofficial White House
rapper, Kanye West Wing.

And there, of course, Juan
of the Dead zombie director,

Jorge Romero.

Yeah, his zombies like their
brains with chips and salsa.

And there's Messy Elliott
sitting near the top of the charts.

Oh, that dude just blasted
her and burned off an eyebrow.

[fart] Hey, that's
Freddie Kruger,

star of Wet Dream on Elm Street.

Right you are, and there's
Tommy the Hip Hop Clown

rising to the challenge. Oh,
he just took a giant krunk.

Right you are, Ken,

and the methane getting pretty
thick down there. Ooh, it burns.

And that, of course, is
our MXC Impact Replay.

Tommy the Clown, head
of the krunk movement,

wedges in on the cheese.

Yeah, I've never seen someone
so proud of their movement.

Now that looks like
instant satisfaction.

What kind of cheese is that?

Nacho cheese. I
never said it was.

As you see, time and breathable air
both running out... Don't just stand there.

As these olfactorily tormented
athletes Cut the cheese.

Struggle to place
their cheeses. Whoo!

And there's overworked
rapper G Unit.

Yeah, he just
wishes he could hang.

Definitely seen stiffer
competition. [horn blares]

Oh, and there is
the buzzer, Ken.

And that's it. Thank God.

[Captain Tenneal]
Who's your daddy?

[all fart]

So, at the end of
Cheese Squeezers,

the Horror team has
logged more cheese,

staggering ahead 1 to nothing.

God, crack a window, Kenny.

Hey, the Rappers say
that game was fixed.

Well, you tell your
little gangster buddies

everyone had the same
opportunity to squeeze the cheese.

MXC is above and
beyond reproach.

Uh, Vic, there's something
in your nose. Huh? What?

Right there. [hocks loogie]

[laughs] Thank you.

That was a Detroit hankie.

When MXC returns,

it's all downhill
from here. [laughs]

Got it, rim spinner?

[Announcer] MXC is back

with more music and mayhem,

as Bling takes on the Ring.

Let me explain something. Point
your knife at the baby sitter. Yeah.

Halloween rules with
blood and brains and stuff

come pouring out of
the left side of her head.

And the right side. Yeah,
and then she has to use

duct tape to hold
her skull back on.

That Michael Myers
was the scariest of all.

Oh, you think he's frightening?
Check out these monsters.

Hi, I'm the Bloody
Polyp. Good to be here.

[gurgling]

Hello there. I'm Colon
Mole. [laughs] Hi.

[roars]

[Ken] Roar.

[roaring]

Whoa, man, I'm gonna
have nightmares for days.

Well, you can always
sleep with Nana Blankenship

if you're scared.[laughs]

She pees. God, I was kidding.

It's time for Runaway Stump.

Players, must keep their
balance while riding the rolling log

without falling into the sludge.

I ate her arm!

And first up for Horror,
it's Jason Voorhies

Yeah, in the latest installment,

they try to kill him
with bad service,

stuff him with potato
skins, mozzarella sticks,

and popcorn shrimp
until he explodes.

You know, I'm kind of partial

to the Jack Daniels' Sticky
Sweet and Smoky Ribs

and the assortment of
delectable table sauces.

Ha, you need to lay
off the sauce, Vic.

[laughs] Right you are, Ken.

Oh, looks like Jason
needs to lay off,

'cause he is down
and laid to rest.

Well, there's got to be
a sequel to that, Ken.

Let's take another look. The
camera tilts down, shows his feet,

then we cut to a wide shot of
Jason looking for his next victim.

Then he gets hit by
a nuclear warhead

and falls into
our septic sludge,

which will definitely
kill him. Yeah. Ha ha.

Wow, it didn't. I
escaped under the fence.

Up next for Hip Hop, it's
busty rhymer Little Trim.

Yeah, it was really nice of her

to break out of prison
for today's show.

But don't worry, she'll
be back in the joint soon

with her friends and family.

Kenny, how many gold
records does Little Trim have?

I don't know, but have you
seen her golden globes? [laughs]

Oh, Little Trim goes into a hop.

♪ Yeah, hippy to the
hip to the hip hip hop ♪

[both] ♪ Say
upchuck the boogie ♪

♪ To the rhythm of
the boogety beat ♪

[laughs] Good
call, Ken. Good call.

He was dead!

And from The Sick Scent,
it's Haley Joe Osment.

Wow, he got tall.

And right here, Haley
Joe hits that awkward stage

and loses his balance. Oh!

I see wet people.

And I see an MXC
Impact Replay. Aah!

We see Haley going
into a Dead Man Shuffle,

then he severely
bruces his willis.

He was dead
right from the start.

Oh, I actually hadn't
seen the movie yet, Ken.

Thanks for ruining it for me.
Ah, good Night Shyamalan.

I'll jack you up!

And here's unorthodox rap
mogul, Meshuguna Knight.

Wasn't he with Jupac
Schnoorer when he got shot?

Yes, Jupac took it
right in the temple,

so Meshuguna's rolling solo. Oh!

And that death roll sends
Meshuguna back up the river.

Yeah, his guns must
have weighed him down.

Corn on the cob!

And here's director
John Carpet-Eater,

who's remaking The Blob.

It's about a
disgusting, gooey mass

that devours
everything in sight. Oh!

He should cast Rosie
O'Donnell. I think he might have.

Kenny, let's take
another look at that again

as you tell us about
today's septic safety fluid.

That's acidic slobber goo

from Aliens' on-set spit bucket.

What up, Salt Lake?

And next up, rap
legend M.D. Hammer,

famous for "Can't Touch This."

He stole that lyric. From whom?

From every girl I went
out with in high school.

Oh. Let's see what
he does here. Oh!

Looks like he hits rock bottom.

He's been there before.

And let's take another
look at that, Ken.

Yeah, right here, Vic.
Look at his hammertoes go.

Right you are.

You know, it's amazing how
much money he managed to lose.

Yeah, too much posse. Indeed.

Hey, Lincoln Logs!

And next up, Naomi Squatts,

star of the upcoming
sequel of The Ring,

The Wedding Ring.

Yeah, you watch
your wedding video

and realize your life is
over. Right you are. Oh!

She just tore open her trousseau

and soaked her lady dowry.

That's why I'm never getting
married. This cheese dip is bumpin'.

And from the Windy City,
it's trash rapper Twist Tie.

Yeah, he's one
third of the foursome,

the Fudge Nut Mobsters. Yes,
he's handling that two-ton log

like it was a rolling pin, Ken.

Let's see what he does.
Oh, and he gets blasted.

Get out the Glad body
bag, 'cause Twist Tie's trash.

Let's take another look.

You know, Twist Tie's known
for being the fastest rapper.

Yeah, too bad his
feet aren't faster.

And Twist Tie is double-bagged
and illegally dumped.

Remember to keep
your blade sharp!

Next up, Jigsaw Anderson,

the sharp-toothed
killer from Saw.

Yeah, I took a chick
to see that movie,

and she totally freaked out.

Well, it was pretty gory, Ken.

No, she liked the
movie. What scared her

was the old "hole in
the popcorn" trick. Ha ha.

Ah, Kenny. Does
that really work?

Yeah, it works even
better when it's buttered.

And speaking of slippery...

Oh, Jigsaw loses his
grip, and his fun is over.

I sat on a broom!

And here's P. Diddly.

Yeah, a.k.a. Sean
Pus-y, Sean Pus Daddy,

Sean Pus-y Combs,
P. Fiddle-Faddle,

Big Fat Puffy Pus Bucket,

P. Howdly Doodly Dish
Diddler Doogie Howser,

aka Marv Skulnic, C.P.A.

All right, Kenny, that's enough.

Now you made me forget his
name. Oh, his real name is John Doe.

Well, a man of
many nom de plumes,

but if you don't mind, I'll just
call him winner! Yeah! [laughs]

There you have it.

P. Diddly lays
down a winning track

and produces a score
for the Hip Hoppers.

And we're all tied at 1-1.

Kenny, rap music
will make you go deaf.

Can't hear you. That rap
music is making me go deaf.

Kenny, what could be better

than a little Manilow,
Diamond, Bolton? A commercial.

When MXC returns,

we're gonna rock your world.

[laughs] Got it, gat-packer?

[Announcer] MXC is back

with the Scary Movie Slashers

versus the Grand
Master Flashers.

Yeah.

Hey, yo, yo, Guy here,

chilling with the
silver screen's

most heinous boo-ya monsters,

who are kicking it old
school with the Hip Hoppers.

Who's your favorite,
Polyp Dude? L.L. Cool J.

What about you, Bertie
Clam? I like J-Lo's butt.

How about you, Godzilla?
[speaks indistinctly]

Hey, deejay, keep
playing that song.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yo, yo, yo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yo, yo, yo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vic] And it's time
for Dash to Death.

Get across the obstacle
course of challenges

without getting dashed to death.

Die! [Captain Tenneal]
Anyone in mind?

Yeah, everyone.
[blows whistle] Get it on.

[Vic] And first up,
it's Sigourney Beaver.

She was the star
of Illegal Aliens. Oh!

Yeah, in space, no one
can hear your leaf blower.

Yeah, I like how all the aliens

are always hanging around
the front of the Space Depot.

Indeed. Over the ejaculator

and into the
contraceptive sponges.

Here comes the angry
dragon, Ken. Whoa.

Let's see what she
does. Nicely done.

Oh, there's Sparky.

Onto the spinner.

She looks a little disoriented.

Looks like she's got
herself back together.

She's into the sponges, Ken.

Oh, some unclean contact
there with the cancerous red ball.

Manages to get by
the blue ball... oh!

And she's taken out
by the third nard, Ken.

Oh, and she is down. Man.

Let's take another look at that.

I don't know what's worse, Ken,

snapping your neck or falling
into the MXC septic sludge.

At MXC, no one
cares if you scream.

Indeed.

I run a math lab.

Up next, a bespectacled
and scholarly Four Eyes T.

Also known as MC Squared.

Right you are. Oh, and Newton's
Law of Gravity is reaffirmed.

The angle of the dangle
is directly proportional

to the heat of the meat.
Right you are, Ken.

Baby, why you do this to me?

And here's William
Peter Bladder,

writer of the
movie The Exorcist.

That movie was totally
bogus. When was the last time

a priest went into a
little girl's bedroom?

Ah, something to ponder.
Let's see what he does now.

Through the grinder.

Into the ejaculator
and into the sponges.

Oh, he ended up on
his back, legs spread.

Oh, takes it from the
dragon, Ken, and he's down.

He got repossessed and
vomits our septic pee-pee soup.

Right you are.

[grunts] Corky
gives 'em what-for.

What up, Boo?

And here's Fudgie

from the hip hop super
crew Backside Cheese.

Yo, Fudgie in the out his house.

[laughs]

Having a lot of trouble with
the zygote brothers there.

She is so hot.

That's one dope
bizzle, my nizzle.

Vic Romano, calling 'em out.

Oh, right you are.
Fudgie passed the grinder.

Oh, a little
misejaculation there, Ken.

Back into the sponges.

You know, ever since she's
joined Backside Cheese,

it's been nothing but the
sweet smell of success.

Yeah, I'd like to
hip hop on her.

Right you are. Past the
red dragon into the sponges.

There's Sparky. Let's
see what happens here.

Her hop was hip,

and I think she might have
hurt her hip on that hop, Ken.

Yeah, the Backside Cheese
gets the backside squeeze.

And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.

We can see that Fudge
gets retarded all up in there.

Yeah, and falls on her
grill and busts her hump.

You know, Ken, some of these
injuries are no laughing matter.

Ha, ha. And speaking of busted
humps, let's go down to Guy.

Oh, you don't look
very well. Are you okay?

[babbles]

Oh, it must be
the septic sludge.

Personally, I added some
special ingredients of my own.

I'm on a restricted
diet of black-eyed peas.

Oh, a black guy's pee? I'm in.

[Vic] Next up, Art Foley.

He produced the Stinkavision
horror classic Smellraiser.

Yeah, whenever
he killed someone,

the theater smelled like
my shop teacher's hand.

Another intimate detail

of your curious childhood, Ken,

I would have rather not known.

Ha, the zygote's flashing a
game sign. Don't make eye contact.

Poker is bad!

Up next is Coast hip hop
mogul, Rusty Siemens.

He brought us the
first rapper, Curtis Blow.

Yeah, Blow would be nothing
without Siemens. Right you are.

I'm just glad that East Coast-
West Coast rap war is over. [gunshot]

Oh! Oh, my God,
somebody shot Siemens.

Let's see that again.

What kind of sick
bastard mother [bleep]

would shoot Siemens on TV?

In the rap wars,
that, my friend,

is what they call
the money shot.

Jennifer's mine!

And here, of course,
Vince Vaughn,

who starred in the remake

of the Hitchcock classic Psycho.

Yeah, that one was so good,

I don't know why they
bothered to make the original.

Right. What were they thinking?

You know, I'm a big fan
of the original Psycho, Ken.

Do you realize there's over
70 different camera angles

in the famous shower scene? Yeah,
yeah. He still didn't show her boobs.

Hitchcock sucks.

Actually, Ken, on
the laser disc version,

if you step-frame it, you
actually do catch a glimpse.

Ha ha. Laser disc.

And there he is, going
through the Nards of Doom.

He almost got blue-balled.

Let's see. He's got
the ropy strand, Ken.

Let's see what goes on here.

All the way across,
and it looks like

Vince Vaughn has done it.

So the Horror Team
scares up another score

and we're at 2-1.

Ah, jeez. Crap. Where
can I put this thing out? Vic.

Kenny, how many times have I
told you not to light up in here?

Ah, it's not mine.
Oh, "not mine"?

Well, then, who
does it belong to?

I need names.
Come on, out with it.

Uh, Ice Cube. Is
that true, Mr. Cube?

I told you that stuff will
make your eyes water. Really?

Yeah? And what else does it do?

Well, it makes you
sneeze a lot. [sneezing]

Bless you, Ken.

Anyway, rap is a
multi-million dollar industry.

The real stars take
their cut very seriously.

Now do you think you can
get that through your thick skull,

Mr. It's-Not-Mine? Oh,
it's not yours, either?

Doper.

When MXC returns,

sit back and get ready
for some painful runs

with Sinkers and Floaters.

[Announcer] MXC is back

for the final battle

between Hip Hop and Horror.

It's the Dr. Dre-ers
versus the Bloody Slayers.

Vic, you wanna hear about my
new movie monster? Well, sure.

Hollywood is always looking
for a new twist on an old formula.

What have you got, Ken?
Yeah, okay. Hey, get out here.

This is the evil
vampire Count Krackula.

Oh, I see.

Yeah, he bites
chicks on the neck.

Uh, what did you call him again?

Krackula. The
only way to kill him

is by shoving a
wooden stake in him.

Kenny, hasn't that
been done before?

Uh, yeah, not like this. Take
that stuff out of your pocket.

Oh, instead of a cape,
Krackula wears a Speedo.

Well, I guess that
could be kind of scary.

Yeah, here's the
really scary part.

Let's say he's in this
castle in that country,

uh, Pennsylvania, and that Van
Helsing guy sneaks up behind him,

and with a wooden
stake, watch what he does.

Krackula, it's me, Van Helsing.

The end.

Oh, that was terrific.

Kenny, can I give
you a little advice?

Wanna invest in my movie?

Get the hell out of
the business. Ow.

It's time for Sinkers
and Floaters,

where contestants
must cross the river

without swallowing a
mouthful of septic sludge.

Get it on.

Gonna need a bigger boat!

And from the
horror classic Jaws,

it's master shark
baiter Clint Hooper.

Yeah, he got fired

for getting chum stains
all over the costume.

Oh, Clint goes down. [laughs]

Let's see that again.

That puts Clint in a
bowline for the shoreline

when he gets sheep-shanked

and totally Spielbergs his
guts into the murky waters.

Wow, Ken, impressive.
You really know that movie.

Nah, I read the Cliff
notes. Of course you did.

Above and Beyonce!

Next up, JayZ Penny,
the discount rapper.

Yeah, his rival is 99 Cent.

I'm gon' get my biscuit

and murk that 99 Cent bee-yatch.

Then I'm gon' take my
kids to the zoo. Yeah.

You know, Kenny, good
parenting is so important.

Yeah, looks like JayZ Penny

has a DefJam
record-winning run going.

Right you are. So chalk
one up for the Hip Hop.

And here's Brad MackleMurray,

star of The House of Bikini Wax.

Uh-oh. He skidded
right off the landing strip.

Right you are.
Let's see that again.

He goes down fast. He likes
everything quick and painful.

Indeed. Look, he's crying.

Ah, but his skin
is oh, so smooth.

Next up, it's herm rap-rodite
superstar Femenem. Oh!

His alter-ego's Slim
Lady. Right you are.

Let's go down to Guy, who
asked him to please stand up.

Yo, I wrote this song for my
peeps down the bath house.

Okay. ♪ My name is what? ♪

♪ My sex is what? ♪

♪ Hey, kids, do you like
muscle magazines? ♪

Mm-hmm. Okay, here
we go. This is my latest hit.

♪ Triceps, biceps,
more reps, big pec ♪

♪ Never gonna know,
never gonna know, yo ♪

♪ I'm a player, yow ♪

Guy will play.

Next up for the Horror,
Sarah Michelle Growler,

star of The Sludge.

Let's see how she
does here, Ken.

She's moving on nicely... Oh!

And the Growler gets smeared.

Indeed. Up next, rap
heavyweight Queen LesBeefa.

She's totally fat.

And you mean P-H-A-T, Ken?

No, I mean F-A-T-A-S-S.

Oh, well, she is D-O-N-E.

And here's Dwayne Jones

from the delightful
necromantic comedy

Night of the Loving Dead.

Yeah, the zombies
bang people's brains out.

Right you are.

Oh, looks like he banged
his brains out right there, Ken.

And that is our
MXC Impact Replay.

Yeah, right there,
his leg dies on him.

I think rigor mortis
has definitely set in.

Yeah, he smacked his
head right on the headstone.

Indeed. And last up,
it's Snoop Doggy Doo.

Yeah, he's always
stepping in success.

You know, he sponsors
a group of inner city kids

called the Thug Scouts.
Oh, and he's made it, Ken.

Well, schizzle my nizzle.

Right you are,
my little hozizzle.

As it starts to drizzle,
the Rappers still sizzle.

And chisel out a win 3-2.

Wow, Vic, that was awesome.

I knew the Rappers
would kick the Horrors' ass.

Ah, Ken, it was a great
competition all around.

Both teams played
their hearts out.

Ha, gross.

Well, careful what you
say about horror, Ken.

I can still feel their presence.

You should never
speak ill of the dead.

Ha, yeah, next thing you
know, I'll wake up dead. Aah!

Ah, but not before
this. It's time for...

And starting out at number 10,

it's filmmaker
John Carpet-Eater,

who directs himself right
into our septic sludge.

[screams] ♪♪
[Halloween theme plays]

And number 9 goes to
House of Bikini Waxer

Brad Michael Murray,

who completely melts
himself on this stone.

Somebody scrape him off.

Number 8, it's Exorcist
writer William Peter Bladder.

He's possessed
with the will to win,

but the angry dragon sends
him straight to septic hell.

And number 7 goes
to rapper Twist Tie.

I haven't seen a fall
from the top this bad

since Vanilla Ice.

And number 6, it's fisherman
Clint Hooper from Jaws,

who goes down hook, line,
and Sinkers and Floaters.

At number 5, Fudgie
throws the zygote in the moat,

then lands so hard she
needs a suicide note.

Hey, I rapped. Ha ha.

Number 4 goes to Night
of the Loving Dead's

Dwayne Jones, who left
his brains all over this rock.

Hey, zombies, soup's on.

Number 3 goes to
Sigourney Beaver,

who gets past a set of balls

only to get mauled from
behind and ends up all wet.

Number 2 goes to
young Haley Joe Osment,

who gets all six senses knocked
out of him, and then some.

And my most painful elimination
of the day goes to Count Krackula.

What's more scary than
dead people everywhere?

Undead people in underwear.

Boy, is he a stick in the mud.

Ha ha.

Well, that was, as
they say, the bomb.

Go ahead, Kenny, take us out.

All right. What do
we always say?

[all mumbling]
Don't get eliminated.

[groans] That really sucked.

I, too, am filled with shame.

You guys blew. Ugh.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[man] ♪ We gon' make
you flip till we get the hits ♪

♪ That'll make you move,
make you move your hips ♪

♪ In line with the funky rhyme ♪

♪ When the people say
we gon' lose our mind ♪

♪ We gon' make you
flip till we get the hits ♪

♪ That'll make you move,
make you move your hips ♪

♪ In line with the funky rhyme ♪

♪ When the people say
we gon' lose our minds ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ What? ♪

[woman screams]