Mossad 101 (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Gvia Siman Tov - full transcript

No good.

What's no good?

-Again.
-What again?

Dammit, be more careful next time.

Fuck...

No good.

Again, it's no good?

Everything's fine, thanks.

Friends, allow me to introduce to you...

Mr. Nissim Siman Tov.

He works in the Shabak cafeteria.



Fifteen years ago,
a miracle happened to Nissim.

The CO of the personal protection unit
realized that Mr. Siman Tov,

who, at the time, was in the middle
of preparing him shakshuka,

bore an uncanny resemblance
to the then-serving Prime Minister,

and the rest,
ladies and gentlemen, is history.

For the past 15 years,

Mr. Siman Tov has had a vital role
in the annual competition

between us and the personal
protection unit of the Shabak.

I am proud to show you
the "Siman Tov Cup,"

for the annual competition
between us and our counterparts.

The rules are simple.

They have to keep Siman Tov with them.

We have to bring him over to us.

What does Nissim get out of this?



VIP treatment for
the four days of the exercise,

and a deluxe vacation,
courtesy of the taxpayers.

Where?

Mr. Siman Tov chooses
the hotel, the suite,

the sea view,
and never anything less than five-stars.

We're going to ruin his vacation?

On the contrary, we're going to
upgrade it to somewhere abroad.

Because, my friends, it won't be enough
to just kidnap Mr. Siman Tov,

we will need to get him out of Israel.

Naturally, without any papers,
and without any shortcuts.

I am sorry, and even ashamed to admit,

that some of the better agents for Mossad,

such as Eichmann, Vanunu,
Dir Abu Sisi, and many others,

have all failed against Siman Tov
for the past eight years in a row.

-Wow!
-This year, ladies, it will not happen.

If this course doesn't overcome
that collection of robots in tin suits,

together with their commanding officer,
Zur Halamish,

I will view this as a personal failure on
the part of each and everyone of you.

And I will draw the necessary conclusions.

Best of luck.

You weren't at Ishai's send off.

He's leaving on Sunday for Washington.

Pity, you won't have time to say goodbye.

I'll email him.

I brought you some wine.

-Micha, what do you want?
-You should have been there.

-To show them that you're not angry.
-I'm not angry, I'm busy.

That job... should have gone to you.

I feel the same way.

Aren't you curious what went on there?

What that "American veto" was all about?

What for?

Oddly enough, I was curious.

A friend of mine in Langley told me
that their objection was not political,

that it was from here, from the field.

What does "from the field" mean?

Their station here in Israel.

Why should their station here
have anything against me?

Very strange, no?

Excuse me.

The last time I was in here
for a wax job, I got smeared.

What's this, a word game?

What?
No, they scratched my car.

Here, I'll show you, it's a...

list of the materials they used.

I'm his wife, Doris.

What do you want from me?

Tell me what went on there, that's all.

Sorry, I can't help you.

You can help me, you were there.

They even gave you
a beautiful wedding ring.

You don't believe me?

I'm his wife.

You know, the two
that were sent here before you...

at least they had their cars washed first.

You can tell the guys in Field Security,
they can relax, my lips are sealed.

No one sent me, Muammar.

Muammar.

Muammar!

Do you have any connections
in our partners' local station?

After Bulgaria? What, are you insane?

-Nobody?
-Not a chance.

Why do you ask?

I want to know why
they opposed my appointment.

I can't help you with the CIA.

You know how they are
when they've zeroed in on somebody.

Okay, then, thanks.

Avi.

I want to let you know
that I'm sorry about Washington.

But, I'm also happy about it.

For us.

-For the good of the course.
-Oh, okay, nice.

At least, your dilemma has been resolved.

Nothing has been resolved.

Who's there?

Dear God!

What are you doing here?

I'm sorry, Doris,
I didn't intend to startle you.

The car you came to the car wash
with is really yours.

The house is in your name.

And you were really married to Aaron.

Just for the past 30 years.

You spooked me.

Look, Doris...

I would really like to help you.

Just to see those shitheads
around you pay the price.

But...

But, what?

I'm being monitored.

I have to keep a low profile.

Which means?

It means that a guy with a Master's degree
with a background in intelligence,

has to work at his father's car wash
for 35 shekels an hour,

that's what it means.

Since Bulgaria, my life has been on hold.

At least you're still alive.

The first chance I get,
I'll fly the fuck away from this country.

-But, until then...
-You're not allowed to leave Israel.

I could submit a request,

but they'd use it
to wipe their asses really clean.

Those scum bags, who were responsible
for the fuck up, are sitting pretty,

while I have to work at a car wash?

Does that make any sense to you?

And if I were to help you?

How can you help me?

To leave the country.

-How? I just explained to you...
-Hypothetical question.

Hypothetically, if you were to help me,

I would be very happy, hypothetically,
to help you in return.

But, in reality,
all I can offer is a scented tree.

So, I'm asking you, Doris,

leave me alone, okay?

Path blocked, change lane.

This is really old already, seriously.

Code 42.

We're trying to get to the spa.

My regards to Yona.

-I'll pass it on.
-Great.

Anything else?

Yeah.

Tell him that he's a total zero.

The area's clean,
you can return to the suite.

The area's clean,
you can return to the suite.

Clear

-The warlord sends his regards.
-Thanks.

He also told me to tell you
that you're a total zero.

Yeah, I've already heard it.

Good job.

What's with these apples?

I asked for Pink Lady.

Starking is too grainy for me.

So, what are they telling you
on your ear piece?

The area's clear? Secured?

Can we go down to the spa now?

-Patience, Nissim.
-"Patience," he tells me.

I don't feel like being
cooped up alone in this room, okay?

I swear, in one more minute,
you'll be coming with me

to the Carmel Market.

Let's see how well you guard me there,

with all the stalls
and a million people all around you.

You'd really love for them
to kidnap you, right, Nissim?

It's been awhile since you were in Rhodes.

Sagiv, I was in the Shabak
when you were still in diapers.

You think that I want the Mossad to win?

Shame on you.

All right, enough of this.
I'm going down to the spa.

Call in the troops, get ready to move.

Thistle two to warlord,

five little ones en route to lobby.

Speak.

Thistle two from Warlord,

code 42, repeat, code 42...

42, 42...

...rear kitchen, pronto.

What again?

Thistle one from Warlord,
why the change in route?

Thistle...

Warlord, this is Warlord, who are you?

We'll take it from here.

Thanks, guys.

Stop that car! He's with them, you jerks.

Nissim's run off with them.

Forget the car, proceed to target.

Hey, Zur Halamish, what's up, all's well?

What the fuck!

-Have fun.
-What "fun"?

God, calm down, you animals,
it's only an exercise.

Wow! Some stunt you pulled off, fellows.
Bravo, even I was caught off guard.

Quiet, Nissim.

There hasn't been a move
like this since 2004, bravo.

Do you mind shutting your mouth, already?

No need for nerves, I'm with you, boys.

Hoopa! She's also with you? Gee, bravo...

All stations, this is Warlord.
Follow the black Volvo.

1500 feet to go, you've got four minutes.

The trophy is ours.

-The Siman Tov Cup is ours.
-Wonderful. Congratulations.

Come on, Abi.

Since 2004, no course was able to do
what these guys managed to pull off,

without any time to prepare.

This entire competition is idiotic.
As a training exercise, it is of no value.

It's not properly placed
on an activity timeline.

It lacks for individuality.

That whole Shabak
versus Mossad nonsense...

A sports day, that's what it is,
a tug-of-rope contest.

The Siman Tov Cup is ours.

I saw it, I'm not blind.

What's up with those two?

Looks like they're both disappointed that
Ishai flew to Washington, and not Abigail.

You know, that talent of yours
to spoil peoples' good moods,

is really very exceptional.

Me?

I'm really sorry, Nissim, I know that it's
not the hotel suites that you're used to.

It's all for a good cause, guys.

Have you decided where
I'm going to be smuggled to?

You're not supposed to be cooperative.

I'm not Vanunu.

I'm supportive.

In 2004, I was flown to Cyprus
inside a diplomatic mail crate.

I hope that this time
you'll have some better ideas.

What's so bad?
Being pampered in five-star hotels?

So, you stay in Israel.

Okay, what's the plan?

-First of all, to secure the objective.
-Nice, what is it?

What's going on?

Nothing.

-So why are you this way?
-What? How?

Just so-so.

What is it, Yona?

Talk to me about Washington, okay?

I'm in the middle of doing something.

There will be other jobs.

Think about what you've gained.

A little bambino.

Yes, I did gain something,
I learned about myself.

Which is?

I won't be here today and tomorrow.

You and Micha can continue
the nonsense without me.

Show the Shabak whose bigger.

You're going on vacation?

Yes, I have some things to care of.

Which things?

Abi...

I have to work.

Well?

How did it go with your buddy?

It went well.

-Should you be here?
-No.

What's up?

I want to tell you something.

Something important.

Do you want to rest a while?

And what, you'll come to take
my temperature every 15 minutes?

What?

Tell me, is there a sign on my face
that says "Pathetic" on it?

I'm just trying to help,
what do you want from me?

If you want to help, Katarina,

adopt a cat.

Why are you so repulsive?

It's because you're such a sweetheart.

Ah, Thank God!

-What?
-What? I'm hungry.

So, what's that?

That's noodles. Noodles aren't food.

I swear, the way you're treating me...

even a dog gets better treatment.

This is the protocol, Nissim.

Fuck protocol.

You're sitting here,
making eyes at each other,

while I'm starving, choking,
and just about to wet my pants.

You went just a minute ago.

I have a weak bladder, okay?

What, you're counting
how many times I piss?

You've turned me into
a witness for the prosecution...

I don't know, Doris.

I really don't know, it's...

What you're asking me to do...
it's not that simple.

Right.

The both of us could wind up in jail.

We might.

Also, your...

These suspicions of yours
don't appear to be substantiated.

Why don't you just talk it over with Yona?

Just tell him everything you have to say.

Not until I know how deeply he's involved.

-So you want someone else on the inside.
-I don't trust anybody.

-You trust me?
-No, but I don't have a choice.

Look, the one person on the inside
who agreed to speak with me...

died before he had
a chance to say anything.

And if you're wrong?

What if that friend of yours really died
of a heart attack. Did you consider that?

Does it seem logical to you
that the only way to get information

is to help someone you barely know,
leave Israel illegally?

Listen, Muammar is the only one
who was present during the mission.

If there's anyone that knows
how my husband was killed, it's him.

Hanoch, I'm asking you.

All right, listen,
before I make my decision,

-I want to meet this Muammar in person.
-Okay.

I haven't said yes yet,
are we clear about that?

The only reason I'm considering
helping you with this crazy idea is...

I also have a gut feeling
about our instructor.

It's been with me
since the start of the course.

Thank you, Hanoch.

Don't thank me yet.
I still haven't said yes.

Micha,

tell me, have you ever heard
of someone by the name of Muammar?

Muammar? As in Gaddafi?

We might just have
what you're looking to find on Yona.

Take a look at my face.

Look what's going on here,
do you see the damage they caused.

It's not as if your nose
was so great before.

What's my nose have to do with this,
idiot, it's the principle.

Who starts attacking like that
over an exercise, who?

It's unprofessional, God,
I'm going to file a complaint.

-They won't know what hit them.
-Complain? To whom? About what?

Haven't you realized yet
that officially we don't exist?

We're more secret than Spy Kids.

-You're really into this course?
-I'm enjoying every minute.

What's so bad about it?

You have both action and an opportunity
to do something for the country.

It's my nose, I breathe through it.

I don't want it smashed up
for the country, got it?

One day, Kobi, you'll understand
that what you do comes back to you.

It took me a long time until I got it.

We're here.

Fuck... Can't you be more careful?

Fuck this course already.

Shit.

This goes here.

Here we go, how is it? Real sharp.

You look like a million bucks, Nissim.

The suit is pressing on my stomach.

You should have gone
easy on the noodles.

How do I look?

You look like a groom who's about
to go on a romantic flight over Israel.

Together with his new beloved bride.

You put a lot of dye in my hair.

-It makes you look younger.
-It's coming off.

But you look younger!

Tell me, guys...

does it even seem possible that
this beautiful lady would marry me?

Hey, wake up, Casanova.

Suddenly, the you of two aren't
at each other's throat, right?

Where are you?

There's something I have to care of,
I'll join you later on.

They're just about
to leave for the airport.

I trust you can handle it.

Kinder...

Fire door
Keep closed

Everything seems to be in order,
we'll be starting shortly.

What kind of person
becomes a gynecologist?

-Kinder...
-How does the sexual part

not clash with the medical part?

I don't get it. You know what I mean?

-What are you doing here?
-I came to visit you.

You want me to go?

Don't know.

No.

You don't look like a doctor.

-Seriously?
-Lose the lab coat and take a seat.

I don't look like a doctor.

Hello, police?

I'd like to report criminal activity.

I saw some criminals place a bomb
under a bride and groom's car.

48 David Hochmi Street.

When?

-In about another hour.
-How?

A romantic flight
in the skies over Israel.

No paperwork, no hassles.

-Good idea.
-Avsha Angler.

From start to finish.

I told you that we should
let him stay in the course.

Do you really want to talk
about work right now?

I love my work.

I know.

You know those women that,
whenever they see a kid,

they immediately say, "What a cutie,"

no matter how much snot
is coming out of their nose?

That's not me.

It will never be me.

I was wrong about me, big time.

I'm going to give you a shot
that will make you drowsy.

We'll then take you to the operating room
and you'll be given anesthesia.

This will burn a bit, please stay calm.

See you shortly.

Enough, Nissim, leave it.

Put your hands up in the air
and back away from the car.

Giora.

Hands up.

Keep your hands up.

-Don't move!
-Shit!

Are you okay?

Hefner!

Your names are Rafi and Neta.

We'll be flying in a Cherokee Six
to Corfu, Greece.

From there you'll
have to manage on your own.

How will you get an okay to land?

It's all arranged, we'll be using
somebody else's flight plan.

I truly hope that what you have to tell
Doris will be worth all the effort.

Did you know
that you've got really big hands?

Nice, you know what they say
about someone who has big hands?

-What do they say?
-Yeah...

They got big feet, as well.

It's been a long time
since I've seen you laugh like that.

A long time since
I had drugs shot into my veins.

From now on,
I'm going to take it upon myself,

to see to it
that you get a regular supply.

Yeah?

Yes?

I'm... I'm on my way.

There's a problem, I have to go.

Fine.

Bye.

-Abigail? How are you feeling?
-Yes.

Don't worry, it'll be okay.

Watch your head.

Come on, let's go, we have to hurry.

Muammar.

Go in there, help her in and buckle up.

Alpha, November, Romeo
is ready to ignite engine.

Alpha, November, Romeo,
you're okay to ignite.

Alpha, November, Romeo, ready to taxi.

Alpha, November, Romeo,
remain in your position.

Is there a problem?

Alpha, November, Romeo, remain in
your position and turn off the engine.

-They're on to us.
-Who are they?

Don't know, could be
the Shabak guys looking for Siman Tov.

You got Siman Tov? More power to you.

-Okay, I'm getting out.
-Wait, I'm coming with you.

-You're not getting out, stay here.
-No, I'm coming with you.

Wait here, Doris.

What are you doing here?

Relax.

How about some perfume
from the duty-free, Muammar?

Hey, Micha.

Let me have my pilot back
before I do anything unpleasant, okay?

Micha.

Do me a favor, Muammar.

Micha.
No games, or I blow this lady's head off.

Micha, let me go through with the plan.

No.
You're not the type.

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine.

How did you know we'd be here?

Really, Doris,
the fellow's under surveillance 24/7.

I let this go forward in the hope
you'd extract something from him

that he hadn't given us
during the official interrogation.

If the plane had taken off,
you would have gone to jail.

As it appears right now,
we'll settle for disciplinary action.

And expulsion from the course.

You ought to thank me.

Thanks, Micha.

So, how's he doing?

Could be better.

The police?

All records have been erased.

Do you recognize this from somewhere?

Where were you, Kinder?

Hello, Doris.

When you see this file,

I hope I will have already left Israel.

Even if I'm in jail, or...

worse than that,

it's important that
what I know be passed on.

It's essential that you know
what happened in Bulgaria.

Somebody has to know
about Yona Harari's crimes.