Mossad 101 (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Caffe - full transcript

Hello, how are you? Sorry to disturb you,

we got a call about the mattresses,

with the box spring. May we come in?

You'll step away until we're done?

Last time we practiced here Sharon was PM.

Say, what's eating you?

We've no security officer agreement.

Agreements are good for us.

What they need is uncertainty.

I'm really so sorry.

My son let his spider out
and I think it's crawled under your door.



It'll take me two minutes to find it.

Thank you, I'm so sorry.

In two minutes I'll...

The average trainee needs five minutes to
find the room,

let alone a good excuse to get in.

They're no average trainees, pal.

All right then,
it's starting to rain, let's go.

Welcome to the first round of
field practice, everybody,

which we at the office call "coffee..."

The first thing you need to realize

is that in our world, there are no people,
only targets.

Every person here is a potential agent,

each of these persons will be ready to do
everything for you later on down the road.

Lie, cheat, betray,



kill,

if you just know how to approach them
the right way.

So here's the exercise:

I mark an object, you make contact.

You have ten minutes to get me
a name, phone number,

room number and info.

Stick to the models:

Analyze, x-ray, lure.

Oh, sorry, what an idiot I am.

Excuse me, do you maybe have any idea
if waiters get over here?

Wow, that's a gorgeous necklace
you're wearing. Where is it from?

Let me see, white gold?

-It was your choice.
-My choice.

You can tell. When did you get married?

-Three days ago.
-Get out!

My boyfriend I are getting married
next month.

Let me make it up to you.
What were you having?

Jack Daniel's.

Excuse me, could I have a Jack Daniel's?

-Silver.
-Silver?

-Yup.
-Regular Jack won't do?

Well, anybody having a Jack
at half past ten am

is a man I'd like buy a drink for.

-Itzik Yavniel.
-David.

My friends call me Itcho.

My friends call me David.

That's the groom, by the way.

A little older, second marriage for him.
First for me, yeah? I don't...

Spector brothers, shoot.

Okay, the Benjamins, mother and son,
from the US.

Boy's paralyzed from birth, he's 16 now.

Mother says he's a genius, goes to MIT.

I promised to send them the book Jerusalem
in a Wheelchair to room five-o-seven.

Doris?

Doris!

Dominique Monroe,

place of residence, Montreal, Canada.

-Room number?
-Three-fifteen.

Giora.

George Lawson, British lighting man.
Room four-fifty.

Good. Irit.

Miri and Ariel Ohaion, got married
two days ago at La Cucha Halls in Jaffa

because she wanted a high class reception.

They're here on their honeymoon,
he's 28, she's 25.

Met four years ago when working
in sales together.

They lived at the parents' at first.
But a year ago her uncle died,

left here a small apartment in Ashkelon,
so they decided to move there

for the great schools for the kids.

Room number four-twelve. Anything else?

Okay, next step:

installing surveillance and wiretapping
devices.

Which you'd naturally prefer to do
when the target's out of the room.

-They're out of the room now.
-Not anymore.

The handicapped kid requires inhalation
and a noontime rest,

room 507. Your business woman has gone up
to work.

You and Mr. Engler get 315.

But, my target...

Is out, clearing out the bar.

Very unchallenging for us.

You're with Doris.

You two are responsible for the honeymoon
couple,

who are currently enjoying the assortment
of treats I've sent up to their room.

You have one hour to figure out how you're
going to prop up the rooms,

without getting caught. Good luck.

So how much did you pay the Brit
for the information?

-Can't buy your way through the course.
-What's your problem, Irit?

People like you.

But maybe you can pay me too,
and problem solved.

Wow, I see we're going to have lots of
fun working together.

Doris?

Mossad 101
Somewhere in the center of the country

-All right, what seems to be the problem?
-Pardon?

Rachel said there was a problem with
registration.

What problem? There's no problem.

Let me have a look at the computer.

Rachel, they tell me there's no problem
with the computer,

and there really isn't.

-Hold on, there's a problem.
-There's a problem.

One sec, Rachel, let me get back to you.

Go into today's booking,

Move over, let me have a look.

Abigail Lerman

Abigail Lerman

Okay, I'm going, it's a server issue.

Racheli, server issue,

I'll fix it. All right. Bye.

-Hi Abi.
-How is the exercise going?

G-r-e-a-t.

Do me a favor, we have
a great relationship with the hotel.

Don't ruin it.

The last thing I want to do
is ruin a relationship.

Good. I went over Doris' meeting
with Eli Sofer again.

-And?
-I think she got suspicious.

She will do anything
to obtain further details.

-So watch her.
-Yes ma'am.

The sauna is broken.

Nothing has changed here.

Same sauna and guard.

The sauna is in a better condition
than me.

So, Simon,

are you a guest here or on duty?

What duty?

Don't you see I'm retired?

I'm here to open my pores
and sweat out poisons.

-Yeah.
-Really, I mean it.

Do you know the great deals
they offer pensioners here?

Simon, after what happened here
in 1996 with the French family...

-Yes, so?
-I don't want any trouble

involving cadet training under my watch.

I'm telling you I'm here for pleasure,
not for business.

Believe me.

Enjoy... your pleasure.

Of course I will.

My wife loved the sea.

How long ago did she pass?

Two months.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

Do you have any children?

You know, I...

I have not been a proper father.

I earned their hatred.

I'm sure you were also good.

No...

Believe me, I was a big shit.

Now I'll buy you a drink.

Pour for him too.

-Don't answer.
-Second.

No, what a mistake.

-Hello.
-Miri? How are you doing? It's Ziva

from this morning.

Listen, I was thinking,

we were thinking maybe to invite you guys

for a drink, the four of us,
here at the lobby.

This woman from the morning wants
to meet for a drink.

-Who cares, hang up.
-Just a sec.

Listen, darling, I don't think
it will work out

We're still exhausted from yesterday.
Another time?

Listen, I... I know we only just met,

but I wouldn't ask for your help

if I didn't have to.

My boyfriend, this scumbag,

don't know what got into him,

wants to get married in the rabbinate.

I swear to you I'm this close
to calling it off.

What does he think?
That I'll marry like a poor girl?

Because he got married already?

I'm telling you, I don't want to
get married like that.

Please give me ten minutes,
you guys sit with him.

Tell him where you got married.

So he will see it's not that bad,
this cheap guy.

Okay. Give us five.

Great darling, I'm telling you, you'll be
the Godparent of our children.

Bye.

-I'm not going, what five?
-Sorry.

You owe me sixty.

-It's a fucking burner.
-It's an Alpini coffee set.

-Alpini coffee set.
-Alpini coffee set!

It's a fucking burner.

"Cost of living"

Did you hear about term
"you're fucking dick"?

-Did you hear the term "asshole."
-Heard the term "shut your fucking face"?

-Over here?
-Yes.

Check out these idiots.

There's something right about
this family connection.

Do they know the idea is
get the guests out of the room

and not kill them?

And it's not like he doesn't have money.
No way, he is loaded.

But, suddenly, on my account,
you became a communist.

What happened?

Am I a secondhand commodity like you?

Taking me out of a nylon. You know what,

You want a small wedding?
Go marry your first wife.

We don't need a big event to
prove our love.

Half million spent on his first wedding.

-And we saw how it ended.
-Okay. Darling,

she can't have a lousy wedding.

It's her first wedding.

And if you deduct

the checks, you'll need to

add around ten thousand dollars,
no big deal.

-It's not about the money.
-So, why, then?

My kids, they're teenagers.

I think a big event will embarrass them.

-Embarrass them?
-Darling...

Darling, your mother. Shame on you, Shuki!

Let it go.

Wait. Give her 15 minutes,
you know how women can be.

Let me buy you a drink.
What would you like to have?

-I'm okay.
-Something to eat?

Love conquers all. Yeah right...

Being spoiled, yeah right.

Cava for half a dollar.

Hot shot, where did you find her?

She interviewed Mike.

Mike agreed?

And gave quite a interview.

He shared, cried like a little girl.

-Mike?
-Yes, but eventually it was censored,

ended in nothing.

But Mike took notice of her.
He told me... "This one."

Even in captivity in Syria,
he had less pressure.

What an ugly dress.

-Shall we warn them?
-No way.

Kinder, this is a real mess.

I know the security officer,
he is a dick head.

Hurry up please.

Fucking dick. Here it is.

Fuck.

Okay. I'm going down to get rid of them.

Watch the officer.

-Did we make it?
-Yes.

-Well done.
-Not because of you.

Why not? I kept them in the lobby.

-Yeah, what did it cost you?
-My blood.

They thought of me as some secretary.
I had God by the balls.

Believe me, if you were my secretary,

-my life would be better.
-Yuck.

You don't know me, Irit.

Actually, I do. You made your fortune
from online gambling.

Which is a euphemism for saying

you made a fortune ruining
other people lives.

You're aggressive, bored, self-centered.

You think the world is your playground.

And this course is a way
for you to fill in that void you

have been feeling, no?

Jeez, why did your husband divorce you?

I really don't get it.

Only a lunatic could give up
such warmth and affection.

Want some warmth?

Go to Africa.

Catch Ebola.

SHE GOT THE FLOWERS.

HURRY.

-David.
-Itcho.

I didn't know we were on the same floor.

Yes, apparently.

Come to my room.

-We'll check out the mini bar.
-Sorry, I have to work.

But let's meet tomorrow at the
lobby, 10:30 a.m for a drink?

Tomorrow morning...

I'll be gone.

Are you going back home?

You can say that, yes.

Are you okay?

How do they call it, the Mexicans
working for me?

David, for years I've been telling
myself "mañana."

That means tomorrow.

And then there's another tomorrow
and another tomorrow.

Until there's no tomorrow.

It's over.

Good bye, kiddo.

May I?

Am I wrong or weren't you supposed
to install the device in another room?

Yes, but it seemed important to me.

What? Recording your guy snoring?

Look, his wife died two months
ago and his kids ignore him.

He has been staying at the hotel for two
days and hasn't stopped drinking.

He has a pile of sedatives.

What does this sad story have
to do with your mission?

He's trying to kill himself.

He's not your target.

We have to do something, it's a life
and death situation.

Do what?

Call for medical help.

Let me remind you,
as a cadet in the course,

we're in a foreign country.

A base country or a target country.

You don't want to draw too much attention.

We have no time.

Calling for medical help isn't acceptable.
Find another idea.

-I'm calling reception.
-As a concerned guest?

Yes.

But you are not a guest.

-An internal call.
-Such calls are usually recorded.

It will be the first lead
in a future inquiry.

Another idea?

None. If we waste time, this man will die.

So come on, think.

Save him without being exposed.

-Want an hint?
-Yona, this is not a game!

For us, he who doesn't play, loses.

Okay. Give me an hint.

Think, who's the only person
who can call and save him,

without being asked for his identity?

Hello, Itzik Yavniel speaking,

-room 322.
-Yes, Mr. Yavniel.

I need a doctor, I swallowed pills.

Vaben. The whole box.

I'm losing consciousness.

Mr. Yavniel?

Call an ambulance.

Hang in there, Itcho.

I don't know if this is good news,
but your two clowns are still alive.

Yes, I see you booked a room on
a high floor with a view of the sea.

So that's the reason why we're here.

She doesn't know we are here.

-What's the idea, Kinder?
-No idea.

She isn't your wife.

She can do it with whoever she wants.

Who is he?

Micha.

Who?

Micha.

The deputy?

Kinder, I really don't know
what you feel like.

Install devices in a room
with two of our own.

And then what?

What will you do?

Forget it, don't answer me.

There's no big idea, it's useless.

Operative intelligence.

A standard background mission.

Listen, if you want to torture yourself,

come to the beach with me
tomorrow at 5:00 a.m.

The water is frozen. It's torture.

Have I ever told you why
Abigail and I broke up?

I don't think you broke up at all.

No device in the room
of the Australian lady,

but a device in Icho's room.

I also called for help.

I think I made us both fail.

Yona didn't like it at all.

You did the right thing.

-Excuse me, are you the security officer?
-Yes.

-I would like to make a complaint.
-Madam.

-Do you see that guy over there?
-Yes

He sat next to me earlier and
started asking me questions.

Who am I? What am I doing?
What is my room number?

Became all nervous and started sweating,

as if he's going to rob the place.

-Thank you, I'll take care of it.
-Thank you.

Mossad 101

Examiner details

You moved the exercise to the Hilton,
just for me?

A hotel is a hotel.

Is Micha on the way?

Wait, how old is he?
Doesn't he have grandchildren?

Or is he a father of four with a wife?

The relationship between Micha and me

is clear for all sides involved.
Nothing is complicated.

A kind of pilates class. I get it.

Call it whatever you want.

You changed.

You have never known me, Kinder.

But it's good, we're finally talking.

That's how people talk, no?

I gave up on this experiment too.

Okay. You should know I installed
a device in your room.

-What for?
-Oh,

I was hoping that you, as a shrink,

might explain that to me.

Micha.

Come in, I'm just on my way out.

And about the camera,

I'll turn it off upstairs.

Kinder.

After the incident in Bulgaria,
all foreign ministries wanted you out.

I'm your guardian angel, you idiot.

Don't push me.

Good.

I better get back now.

You won't believe the prices here.

I don't understand what you're
accusing me of.

I'm not accusing you.

I'm not accusing Simon.

He doesn't have an agreement
with the management.

-Who is Simon?
-Who is Simon?

Who is Simon?

The complaint I'll file against you

will say nothing about any
Mossad exercise.

You will be held in custody like
any other suspected criminal.

So that this old ass will
come and release you.

Let him sweat a bit at the station,
this piece of dick.

I don't know what you're talking about.

-My father is a guest here.
-Yeah, your father.

Let me talk to Avi.

My father, Itzik Daniel, room 322.

I came to see him. He told me
he didn't feel well.

The man from room 322 is your father?

Yes.

322?

Yes!

Over there.

Just out of curiosity,

What did he say

when you let him go?

Simon, you are a son of...

On behalf of the state of Israel,
I deeply apologize.

So, guys how was your vacation?

Irit, I have a question.

What would have happened

if the couple hadn't left the room?

But they did leave.

We have a code at the office
for what you did there.

LHIT - Let's hope it will work.

I don't approve of this strategy.

Me neither, but try to convince her.

At least I don't buy my way
through targets.

What do you mean?

I mean "Mr. Money" here spends dollars

and bribes his targets to pass his tasks.

What's the problem?

Are you serious?

Totally. What's the problem?

Money is a legitimate recruitment method.

Aldrich Ames sold two agents to the KGB.

To pay the mortgage,

not for ideology.

A gas tank that can blow up a whole floor.

A pursuit by security men, big noise.

This fantasy world you're living in,
belongs to Hollywood, not here.

And speaking of sentimental dramas,
Mr. Engler,

You decided where to install the device.

Not following orders

often has bad consequences.

No light in the end
of the tunnel with you guys.

Lucky for you, the security officer

placed an official complaint.

Means I can't get rid of you.

Cause I claim we weren't

even there.

Where were we?

In another hotel.

A parallel world...

where these things didn't happen.

Okay. In the next round,

We'll go over the main four

techniques for contacting a target.

A. Tracking the target.

Collect as many details as possible
before contacting the target.

Home address, personal details,
habits and any useful information.