Mossad 101 (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - No One Will Get Hurt Part 1 - full transcript

World, this is Vulture.
World, this is Vulture.

I see a penguin running
along the shoreline.

About 300 meters south of the chimneys.

Continuing to look for the others, over.

Psychos, god dammit, I'm so done.

God dammit, psychos.

Good evening.

What... Where to?

Where are you going?

Come on in, I'll take you
where you need to go, honey.

What is this, why are you hanging
around like this? Look at you, you're...



Buck naked.

Here we go.

Let go of me!
What do you want from me?

We need your vehicle.

I apologize for the unpleasantness.

I will see to it
that your car is returned to you.

What is this? Who is this?
What are you doing to it?

-Let go of me already!
-Relax.

No need for violence.
What's your name?

Kobi. Kobi Frachdel.

Get in the car, Kobi.

Do you mind if I drive?
I've got some... mileage.

Thanks.

Did he hurt you?



I'm fine.

Let's go.

Low, low.

Come here.

All right.

What time is it? I've got to get home.

I need to send the babysitter away.

What... what babysitter?

Every security force
of the State of Israel is after you,

-and you're worried about your babysitter?
-No, you don't know what she's like.

All right, shut up for a second.

Look, the coastline is entirely bare.
We must get out of here.

Follow me.

Wait, "follow me"? Where?

Listen, we have no time for head games.

-I have a house here, down the beach.
-What's that?

Yeah, about a mile from here.

A house down the beach, good for you.

If we keep this up,

we can be there in 20 minutes.

Let's go.

Come on, come on.

Go ahead, I'm coming in front of you.

My bone is sticking out!

Oh, stop it, I'll go to the gas station
and get you some ice and bandages, OK?

-Yes, go, go.
-Want me to get you some tampons, too?

-Uri, I swear, just say one more word.
-That's all it takes.

-Wait, I don't have any cash on me.
-Use credit.

Bad idea to use credit when
you're running away from the cops.

What's this, where did you pop up from?

Charmed, I'm sure. I'm Doris.

What, are you also from the...

I am, and so is she.

Hey, wassup?

I'm losing tons of blood here,
that's what's up.

So just call a cab and let's
get out of here, OK?

They get a report on every cab
that comes around this area.

So what do you suggest we do, auntie?

Here, I can see our ride,

and I suggest that in the meantime,

clean your wound up, kiddo.

Tell me, why didn't they give us an SLS?

Can't see anything
with this stinking flashlight.

-Not even ten meters ahead.
-What do you care?

-It's not even our party.
-Oh no? Then whose?

The Yasam's, the Yahsam's, the Yamam's,
everybody's but ours.

It could be terrorist infiltration by sea,
just like in Zikim.

Could be UFOs landing from the moon.

Enough, already.

Come on, we're done here.

Don't forget to drop me off
at the house on the way to the station.

What did we spend 22 million shekels
on a new training facility for?

Can you explain that to me?

Working outside the system,
it's part of the idea.

You trust him.

We're talking about Yona Harari,

however you may wish to interpret it.

Shuster, for your sake,
I hope everything turns out fine.

Everything will turn out
just fine and dandy.

Abigail, stay on him like white on rice,
are we clear?

Mossad Chief.

Deputy.

Dear Abigail.

Allow me to present to you

the largest chain of espionage
to have been discovered in Israel.

Kobi Frachdel, born in Persia.

Most likely planted here
when he was young.

Avital Vexler,

a graduate of
the British Royal Theater Academy.

Master of disguise.

The Spector Brothers,

raised in LA.

Returned to Israel for the action.

Katarina Annolyo,

from the mean streets of Rio.

She's a survivor.

Giora Hefner,

made millions from online gambling.

A tough businessman.

Surely, you don't plan
to go over everyone.

Define "everyone."

Forty five minutes into the drill,

and already, 14 morons are down.

Which means I've saved
more than half a million shekels

on unnecessary training...
in less than an hour.

The firecrackers in the sand alone
cost a hundred thousand shekels.

I wholeheartedly trust Yona

that every trainee that survives
this drill will be worth every shekel.

Forget about the money for a second,
and give me a status report.

Course commencement cocktails
started at 9:00 p.m.

After having explained to the trainees
that as far as security is concerned,

they are Iranian spies,

the party was broken up
by four inflatable boats from the sea,

and two Bell 212s above the waypoint.

The trainees started
to flee the beach at 9:15,

some in groups, and some on their own.

First blanks were shot at 9:17,

and at 9:19, our first
ex-trainee was captured.

How long do they need to stay out there?

The trainees have to remain
10 hours, 15 minutes out in the field,

without being captured by security forces
while advancing towards us.

The target is 8:00 a.m.
at the gate of the seminary.

Abigail?

From a research standpoint,

it's a good way to collect maximum data
in the least amount of time.

And I think this is entirely excessive.

Entirely excessive?

I'll tell you what's excessive, Azriel.

Mahmoud al-Mabhouh was excessive.

Melbourne was excessive.

The fact that for the last two decades,

you've been replicating mediocrity...
that's excessive.

Relax Yona,
we've already approved your drill.

What have we here?

All the big shots at once.

Top of the world.

Simon.

When Yona told me he wanted to defrost
you and bring you back into commission,

I told him that it wasn't
going to be on my conscience.

Don't feel sorry for me, Udi,

my pension awaits.

It's not you I feel sorry for,

but the trainees.

Good luck to us all.

Thank you very much.

Keep me posted.

Do you realize that I'm a Persian
that was actually born in Persia?

A Persian that looks like a Persian,
like totally original Iranian.

I won't even get questioned.

The chief police commissioner will have
my head in a glass jar in his office,

for the glory of the Israeli nation.

-Go!
-You need to speak less, Sir Kobi.

What are you laughing at?

I don't feel so good.

Here's another tux.

No, don't pull over.

Go, go, go! There's police behind us.

That's not nice, I thought all
Israelis stood together, didn't they?

Kobi is right, every second we lose,

increases our chances of
getting captured by 8.45 percent.

-Statistically speaking.
-Just drive already.

I'm so dead,
I swear to God I'm gonna die today.

Drive away from here, go!
Come on, already!

Oh, so you're staying?

Is that a problem for you?

Quite the contrary, I'm delighted by it.

I just didn't imagine
a top-ranking person,

such as yourself, would have the time.

For you, Kinder, my schedule is wide open.

Too bad it wasn't open before.

-For two months, I've...
-Ever heard of email?

I almost got the impression
that you were avoiding me.

It's called "procedure."
There's a certain way to do things.

Stop your fighting, children.

Don't make me break you up.

-14, do you see them?
-Negative, negative.

-Let's split up.
-I'm with you.

What's your name?

Katarina.

Nice to meet you. Max.

-Where are you from?
-Brazil.

Brazil.

I...

-I'm from France.
-You don't say? We hardly even noticed.

Was I talking to you?

Where in Brazil?

What, now you're starting
with the questions, too?

Well, as much as I'm thrilled about this
whole melting pot we've got going here,

-what are we going to do?
-Maybe Alain Delon here

will take us on a ride
along the Champs-Élysées.

-Kobi...
-"Kobi" what?

We're shot at, we're stranded
in a snake-infested field,

and this guy is making small talk.

Will you just shut up and relax?

Do you have a concrete suggestion?

Where are we? Close to Olga Hill?

Yes, and?

Just drive. I've got
acquaintances here. Let's go.

Sorry for interrupting, but there's
a dot here that hasn't moved in a while.

Been that way for a few minutes.

No pulse. All vitals are out.

Our very first nudist.

Good for Mr. Vexler.

Excuse me, sir?

Can you please help me?

I'm having car trouble.

-What, can't you open...
-No.

Doris is their lucky charm,
the only one who's functioning.

Oh, so this is how it's going
to be from now on?

How so?

You're going to do whatever
it takes to justify your choice.

You know that the person
who ran the station in Sofia

was Doris, and not Aaron.

Yes, we saw how that ended.

-That's the car, right?
-Right.

See?

What's the problem?

What do you say? It could be the battery.

-No, you've got the light on.
-The light's on?

Oh, silly me.

I didn't notice,
I grabbed my husband's keys.

-I must've not paid attention.
-It's all right. It happens.

-It does, I'm so sorry, thank you.
-Good evening. Take care.

You're a sweetheart, thanks.

It's time to perform

our civic duty.

Blue Flag, here is where
the Penguins are located.

Route 5710 South, a truck
with "Green and Fresh" written on it.

Green and fresh.

It's ironic.

The irony is not lost on us.

-Are you cold, Sveta?
-A little.

Are you Russian?

Ethiopian.

What kind of questions are these?

Eastern Europe has more
than one place, right?

Ziv: Are you're such a big expert now,
Uri: Huh,from freaking Ukraine?

I'm Ziv, by the way, nice to meet you.

"I'm Ziv, by the way, nice to meet you."

No, you are.

Smooth as a bloody eel.

Attention all units,
Code 65 on Route 5710.

A truck with
"Green and Fresh" written on it.

And there it is.

God dammit.

Come on!

Vegetables, pull over.

I said, pull over.

Hands on the wheel.

Hands on the wheel. Don't move!

On the wheel!

This moron is running away from the cops.

Sveta.

Just a minute.

Firearms, Yona?
Do you actually fire at your trainees?

I can't believe you'd think that of me.

I think much worse of you.

Kaminski, please.

Simon,

olives or mushrooms?

Pizza gives me heartburn.

Dammit.

Chief, 2-34 here, over.

Chief, 2-34 here, over.

You needn't go after that truck.
It's just a diversion.

-Who are you?
-I've got your key.

Give it to me. Give...

Come here...

Son of a bitch, move one muscle,
and I'll blow your face off!

-I need help!
-Help?

Are you a cop?

I'm in danger. You must help me.

Don't move. I said, don't move.

Chief, 2-34 here, can you hear me?

Your radio is dead. I've neutralized it.

I had no choice. They're gonna kill me.

Who are "they"?

If this shit hits the fan,
the whole country is going to smell it.

No joke, I'm talking top-level stench.

All the way up to the government.

The government, no less.

No less!

This is treason.

This is leaked intelligence.

Tell that to the ISA, all right? Not me.

I am ISA.

What?

ISA won't talk to me.

Because dead men tell no tales.

I won't make it to the interrogation.

I swear it's true. They'll kill me.

Who are "they" again?

I'll tell you everything,
and trust me, you want to hear it.

Do the right thing.

I'm begging you.

Not for me, for your country.

Is this where you live?

I've done a piece about this place.

Someone here has paid several millions
to bribe the administration.

Not me.

So what is this, millionaires' guilt?

What?

Isn't this why you came to this course?

You've mooched off the country for years,
and now you want to allegedly give back.

My largest contribution
to the country has been

not leaving you
with the cops on the beach.

You don't say.

Don't flatter yourself, "Money,"
I would have managed.

Are you done?

We've got a problem.

Nice solution you've
come up with, "Money."

-All right, I have an idea.
-What?

That house, over the fence,
it's my neighbor's.

He owes me a couple of favors.

If we could get in the back...

Come, I know how to get in. Come!

Come, Hanoch!

Mommy!

Remember Eindhoven?

We had to throw away
an entire plan because the Iraqi's dog

had a vet appointment.

Never mind the dogs, will ya?

Say, did the cop that shot
know it was a drill?

When they used actual firearms
and not just a BB gun,

it stops being a drill and starts
becoming something else entirely.

Uncertainty, doubt, fear.

Such an event can set the tone
for the rest of the course.

Still,

you've learned something.

Yeah?

Meeting room in five minutes, OK.

I've been called to
the principal's office.

Good luck.

And Simon, if I don't come back...

I'll check with field-security

on what to put on your tombstone.

What is this here?

A safe place.

It's fine, it's...

They know me here,
they'll open any second now.

-What about you?
-I'm good, good...

Hey!

Barbers are a predictable people.

Get in.

Well, see anything?

No, keep going.

The police commissioner spoke
with Kaminski and validated what you said.

There you go. May I go back to Control?

He's full of bullshit.

Abi, it happens
all the time with these drills.

Someone gets nervous, confused,
and oops, trigger-happy.

Don't belittle me, Yona.

Me? When did I belittle you?

When a cop uses
a firearm to shoot trainees

during a drill you've orchestrated,
does that just happen by chance?

But nothing happened.

A gunshot-wounded trainee is nothing?

She got off the truck and ran out.

It merely touched her, Abi.

It touched her because
you're touched in the head.

You want to make everything
as real as possible.

I'm notifying Micha
that I'm shutting this drill down.

This attitude

is exactly why field agents from
the last ten years have been so crappy.

Would you like me to go over
your screw-up count here?

They shouldn't have let you be
in charge of anything after Bulgaria.

-What should they have let me do?
-Go on vacation.

Vacation?

Wow, vacation?

Despite what you may think,
I do care about you.

And you are clearly in
no position to run anything here.

All right, all right.
We are in the midst of a drill here.

You are welcome to stay here,

call whomever you wish to stop it.

But until then, I am in charge.
Despite what you may think.

I need to report this upstairs,
and this report will have consequences.

All righty then.

So get ready.

Agreed.

Open the door, give me the phone.

Yona!

You've reached the Mossad Chief suite.

All lines are currently busy.

As of now, all of your calls
are routed to me alone.

Yona, I'm going to kill you! Come here!

You son of a bitch! Yona!

Yona, come here!

How was it?

Better than expected.

Your pizza is here.

Goodie.

So, what's new?

We know where our guys
in Olga Hill have ended up.

Which one of our nice friends here,

has a gambling problem?

All right, why are you standing here
like antennas? It's not a synagogue here.

Mingle.

Is this your safe place?

Yes.

Iron door, security cameras...

It's safer than a bank.

We'll spend the night,
play some black jack, some poker.

Done!

Straight to the seminary.

Here's the landlord.

Jarah.

What's happening?

Nice bowtie.

Thanks, man.

Long time, no see.

Too long.

I've brought friends.

High rollers, each and every one of them.

Don't say I don't look out for you.

You're too good.

OK.

Muhammad Jarah,

resident of Umm al-Fahm.

Permanent resident of Ramla penitentiary.

Extortion, armed robbery,

aggravated assault...

Homicide.

Homicide?

Released due to lack of evidence.

Come to the office.

Come to the office, we'll chat. Come.

What...

Chat about what?

Is there a problem?

No problem. I'm going with him.
I'll be right back.

Mind if I tag along?

Here you go.

Security cameras from the casino.

You know, Andrey, you're a wizard.

Who's the other trainee
that walked in with Frachdel?

Avsha Angler, psychiatrist.

Supposed to be some
body language expert.

Gave a few talks here,
and the training department dug him.

They hounded him for a couple of years,

until he eventually capitulated.

I'll bet he is already regretting it.

I can't believe I'm saying this,

but shouldn't you fill Abigail in on this?

Yes, of course.

As soon as she comes back.

Say, what's up with
the millionaire's group?

Are they still stuck inside
the neighbor's villa?

Not such a bad place to get stuck in.

Such excitement!

When the squad cars got to your house,
I thought,

Finally, the SEC has
justified its existence.

So what's the story here? Spill it.

I haven't the foggiest.

My friends and I fled
this hedge fund mogul's cocktail party.

I think the organizers
may have taken it too hard.

Hedge fund convention?

Speaking of networking, Ben Dor,

you're an honorary consul
of Costa Rica, aren't you?

Some honor.

You've got the car
with the diplomatic license plates.

Guzzles down petrol like a motherfucker.

We need it.

What for?

She needs to let
her babysitter go by midnight.

We'll have it back by tomorrow morning.

You know I can't let
anyone else drive it, right?

You've been to my house once,
haven't you?

Independence Day party.

I remember you,
admiring the statue on my patio out front.

Gechtman?

I loved the Jackomati.

Giora,

what tamagotchi are you talking about?

Jackomati.

I'm mid-negotiation,
in case you haven't noticed.

I'm sorry, my ex-wife has
the Jackomati, but the Gechtman...

Do you know how much his work goes for?

In Sotheby's.

If anyone asks me,

you stole it.

Not good.

-Shit.
-This is not good.

-Sveta.
-She needs to go to a hospital.

Don't you dare.

I don't need a doctor.

Name and ID number.

Are you sure it's not too much
information at the same time?

I said, name and ID number!

All right.

Please.

Are you relaxed now?

You're going down.

You can tell on me after the drill,
not in the middle of it.

You had better unlock this phone
or let me out of here.

Sorry, no can do.

That's nothing compared to
how sorry you'll be tomorrow.

Abi, why did you think I took it
upon myself to train this course?

Because you had no choice after Bulgaria?

I could have retired.

You should have retired.

But then we wouldn't
see each other anymore, would we?

You're psychotic now.

Are you saying that
as a clinical definition,

or are you saying that
because you're mad at me?

You're out of control, Yona.

You've always had that effect on me.

Tell me,

do you still love me? Even a little?

Listen to me,

shut this drill down now,

before it's too late
and one of your trainees gets killed.

Because I won't be able to help you then.

Abi, trust me when I tell you no...

Sveta.

one...

will get hurt.