Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 3, Episode 4 - Alone - full transcript


>> ? W.U.U.U. ?
>> "W" TRIPLE "U."
OKAY, IT'S 8:30 ON THIS

>> "W" TRIPLE "U."
OKAY, IT'S 8:30 ON THIS
GOOD FRIDAY, AND COMING UP, WE

OKAY, IT'S 8:30 ON THIS
GOOD FRIDAY, AND COMING UP, WE
HAVE A SPECIAL EDITION OF

GOOD FRIDAY, AND COMING UP, WE
HAVE A SPECIAL EDITION OF
REVEREND PUTTY'S SERMON.

HAVE A SPECIAL EDITION OF
REVEREND PUTTY'S SERMON.
BUT FIRST, A FLUFF PIECE.

REVEREND PUTTY'S SERMON.
BUT FIRST, A FLUFF PIECE.
[ FANFARE ]

BUT FIRST, A FLUFF PIECE.
[ FANFARE ]
GOOD-HEARTED MENACE RIGHTEOUS

[ FANFARE ]
GOOD-HEARTED MENACE RIGHTEOUS
OREL PUPPINGTON LEFT THE CITY

GOOD-HEARTED MENACE RIGHTEOUS
OREL PUPPINGTON LEFT THE CITY
EARLIER TODAY FOR THE MORALTON

OREL PUPPINGTON LEFT THE CITY
EARLIER TODAY FOR THE MORALTON
NATURE RESERVE AND A HUNTING

EARLIER TODAY FOR THE MORALTON
NATURE RESERVE AND A HUNTING
TRIP WITH HIS DEAR OLD DAD.

NATURE RESERVE AND A HUNTING
TRIP WITH HIS DEAR OLD DAD.
WE SPOKE WITH RIGHTEOUS OREL

TRIP WITH HIS DEAR OLD DAD.
WE SPOKE WITH RIGHTEOUS OREL
EARLIER.

WE SPOKE WITH RIGHTEOUS OREL
EARLIER.
>> SO, OREL, EXCITED ABOUT THE

EARLIER.
>> SO, OREL, EXCITED ABOUT THE
TRIP?

>> SO, OREL, EXCITED ABOUT THE
TRIP?
>> Orel: YOU BET!

TRIP?
>> Orel: YOU BET!
I'VE BEEN PRACTICING SHOOTING

>> Orel: YOU BET!
I'VE BEEN PRACTICING SHOOTING
AND EVERYTHING.

I'VE BEEN PRACTICING SHOOTING
AND EVERYTHING.
>> YEAH, WE NOTICED.

AND EVERYTHING.
>> YEAH, WE NOTICED.
SO, YOU THINK THIS TOWN'S JUST

>> YEAH, WE NOTICED.
SO, YOU THINK THIS TOWN'S JUST
GONNA FALL APART WITHOUT YOU FOR

SO, YOU THINK THIS TOWN'S JUST
GONNA FALL APART WITHOUT YOU FOR
TWO DAYS?

GONNA FALL APART WITHOUT YOU FOR
TWO DAYS?
>> MINE!

TWO DAYS?
>> MINE!
>> OHH!

>> MINE!
>> OHH!
LOOKS LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER,

>> OHH!
LOOKS LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER,
SHAPEY, WANTS SOME BROADCAST

LOOKS LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER,
SHAPEY, WANTS SOME BROADCAST
TIME, TOO.

SHAPEY, WANTS SOME BROADCAST
TIME, TOO.
>> Orel: OH, THAT'S NOT SHAPEY.

TIME, TOO.
>> Orel: OH, THAT'S NOT SHAPEY.
>> THAT WAS OREL PUPPINGTON JUST

>> Orel: OH, THAT'S NOT SHAPEY.
>> THAT WAS OREL PUPPINGTON JUST
PRIOR TO LEAVING ON HIS HUNTING

>> THAT WAS OREL PUPPINGTON JUST
PRIOR TO LEAVING ON HIS HUNTING
TRIP.

PRIOR TO LEAVING ON HIS HUNTING
TRIP.
NOW, AS PROMISED, A SERMON BY

TRIP.
NOW, AS PROMISED, A SERMON BY
THE REVEREND PUTTY.

NOW, AS PROMISED, A SERMON BY
THE REVEREND PUTTY.
>> Rev. Putty: I DECIDED TO GEAR

THE REVEREND PUTTY.
>> Rev. Putty: I DECIDED TO GEAR
TODAY'S SPECIAL RADIO SERMON TO

>> Rev. Putty: I DECIDED TO GEAR
TODAY'S SPECIAL RADIO SERMON TO
ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE WHO

TODAY'S SPECIAL RADIO SERMON TO
ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE WHO
STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF

ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE WHO
STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF
THINGS FOR THE MALE HEADS OF THE

STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF
THINGS FOR THE MALE HEADS OF THE
HOUSEHOLD.

THINGS FOR THE MALE HEADS OF THE
HOUSEHOLD.
BUT EVEN THOUGH YOUR CURRENT

HOUSEHOLD.
BUT EVEN THOUGH YOUR CURRENT
DUTIES MAY BE A LITTLE ON THE

BUT EVEN THOUGH YOUR CURRENT
DUTIES MAY BE A LITTLE ON THE
TRIVIAL SIDE, AT LEAST MOST OF

DUTIES MAY BE A LITTLE ON THE
TRIVIAL SIDE, AT LEAST MOST OF
YOU FINALLY CARRIED OUT YOUR

TRIVIAL SIDE, AT LEAST MOST OF
YOU FINALLY CARRIED OUT YOUR
MOST IMPORTANT DUTY AND GAVE

YOU FINALLY CARRIED OUT YOUR
MOST IMPORTANT DUTY AND GAVE
BIRTH TO YOUR HUSBAND'S OFFS--

MOST IMPORTANT DUTY AND GAVE
BIRTH TO YOUR HUSBAND'S OFFS--
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]

BIRTH TO YOUR HUSBAND'S OFFS--
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]
>> HUBBY?

HUBBY?
HUBBY?
THERE YOU ARE!

HUBBY?
THERE YOU ARE!
AND SONNY!

THERE YOU ARE!
AND SONNY!
HI, FAMILY!

AND SONNY!
HI, FAMILY!
SORRY I'M LATE.

HI, FAMILY!
SORRY I'M LATE.
PRINCIPAL FAKEY SURE HAS ME DO A

SORRY I'M LATE.
PRINCIPAL FAKEY SURE HAS ME DO A
LOT OF ADULT THINGS AROUND THE

PRINCIPAL FAKEY SURE HAS ME DO A
LOT OF ADULT THINGS AROUND THE
OFFICE, EVEN TODAY, WHEN THERE'S

LOT OF ADULT THINGS AROUND THE
OFFICE, EVEN TODAY, WHEN THERE'S
NO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING!

OFFICE, EVEN TODAY, WHEN THERE'S
NO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING!
IT'S CRAZY!

NO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING!
IT'S CRAZY!
HE MUST BE MORE ADULTERER THAN

IT'S CRAZY!
HE MUST BE MORE ADULTERER THAN
ANYONE I KNOW.

HE MUST BE MORE ADULTERER THAN
ANYONE I KNOW.
OH, THAT REMINDS ME -- I HAVE A

ANYONE I KNOW.
OH, THAT REMINDS ME -- I HAVE A
SURPRISE FOR YOU.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME -- I HAVE A
SURPRISE FOR YOU.
[ CHUCKLES ]

SURPRISE FOR YOU.
[ CHUCKLES ]
LOOK! ISN'T IT ADULTY?

[ CHUCKLES ]
LOOK! ISN'T IT ADULTY?
I LIKE TO THINK SO.

LOOK! ISN'T IT ADULTY?
I LIKE TO THINK SO.
WE SHOULD SET A GOOD ADULT

I LIKE TO THINK SO.
WE SHOULD SET A GOOD ADULT
EXAMPLE FOR OUR LITTLE SONNY

WE SHOULD SET A GOOD ADULT
EXAMPLE FOR OUR LITTLE SONNY
HERE.

EXAMPLE FOR OUR LITTLE SONNY
HERE.
RIGHT, SONNY?

HERE.
RIGHT, SONNY?
AWW, YOU'RE SO CHILDY!

RIGHT, SONNY?
AWW, YOU'RE SO CHILDY!
SO, ARE ALL YOU FAMILY HUNGRY?

YES?
I'M STARVISH, TOO.
WELL, IT IS JUST ABOUT SWALLOW

I'M STARVISH, TOO.
WELL, IT IS JUST ABOUT SWALLOW
TIME.

WELL, IT IS JUST ABOUT SWALLOW
TIME.
HOW ABOUT FOOD CAKES WITH A SIDE

TIME.
HOW ABOUT FOOD CAKES WITH A SIDE
ORDER OF EAT STEW?

HOW ABOUT FOOD CAKES WITH A SIDE
ORDER OF EAT STEW?
AND THEN WE CAN WASH IT ALL AWAY

ORDER OF EAT STEW?
AND THEN WE CAN WASH IT ALL AWAY
WITH SOME LIQUID WET DRINKS.

AND THEN WE CAN WASH IT ALL AWAY
WITH SOME LIQUID WET DRINKS.
MM-MMM!

WITH SOME LIQUID WET DRINKS.
MM-MMM!
THIS IS GONNA BE TUMMY FOR OUR

MM-MMM!
THIS IS GONNA BE TUMMY FOR OUR
YUMMIES.

THIS IS GONNA BE TUMMY FOR OUR
YUMMIES.
OH!

YUMMIES.
OH!
FIRSTLY, WE MUST ALL PRAY FOR

OH!
FIRSTLY, WE MUST ALL PRAY FOR
GRACE.

FIRSTLY, WE MUST ALL PRAY FOR
GRACE.
DEAR LORD IN GODLAND, BLESS

GRACE.
DEAR LORD IN GODLAND, BLESS
THIS MESS OF DELICIOUS FOOD, AND

DEAR LORD IN GODLAND, BLESS
THIS MESS OF DELICIOUS FOOD, AND
THANK YOU KINDLY FOR KEEPING OUR

THIS MESS OF DELICIOUS FOOD, AND
THANK YOU KINDLY FOR KEEPING OUR
JOYOUS FAMILY TOGETHER UNDER

THANK YOU KINDLY FOR KEEPING OUR
JOYOUS FAMILY TOGETHER UNDER
THIS ONE LOVE-FILLED ROOF.

JOYOUS FAMILY TOGETHER UNDER
THIS ONE LOVE-FILLED ROOF.
WE ALL NEED PEOPLE WHO AREN'T

THIS ONE LOVE-FILLED ROOF.
WE ALL NEED PEOPLE WHO AREN'T
MEAN TO ME OR THAT DON'T ACT

WE ALL NEED PEOPLE WHO AREN'T
MEAN TO ME OR THAT DON'T ACT
LIKE THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT DOING

MEAN TO ME OR THAT DON'T ACT
LIKE THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT DOING
DIRTY, AWFUL THINGS TO YOU.

LIKE THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT DOING
DIRTY, AWFUL THINGS TO YOU.
WE NEED FAMILY BECAUSE THEY CARE

DIRTY, AWFUL THINGS TO YOU.
WE NEED FAMILY BECAUSE THEY CARE
THAT I'M A REAL PERSON, WHO HAS

WE NEED FAMILY BECAUSE THEY CARE
THAT I'M A REAL PERSON, WHO HAS
THOUGHTS OF SADNESS SOMETIMES,

THAT I'M A REAL PERSON, WHO HAS
THOUGHTS OF SADNESS SOMETIMES,
ALONG WITH HAPPY THOUGHTS, OR

THOUGHTS OF SADNESS SOMETIMES,
ALONG WITH HAPPY THOUGHTS, OR
SCARED OR ALONENESS THOUGHTS.

ALONG WITH HAPPY THOUGHTS, OR
SCARED OR ALONENESS THOUGHTS.
I FEEL THOUGHTS OF EMOTIONS, AND

SCARED OR ALONENESS THOUGHTS.
I FEEL THOUGHTS OF EMOTIONS, AND
I NEED PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT.

I FEEL THOUGHTS OF EMOTIONS, AND
I NEED PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT.
SO, THANK YOU FOR KEEPING THIS

I NEED PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT.
SO, THANK YOU FOR KEEPING THIS
FAMILY IN GOOD SHAPE.

SO, THANK YOU FOR KEEPING THIS
FAMILY IN GOOD SHAPE.
THE END FOR NOW, WHILE WE EAT.

FAMILY IN GOOD SHAPE.
THE END FOR NOW, WHILE WE EAT.
SIGNED, MY FAMILY.

THE END FOR NOW, WHILE WE EAT.
SIGNED, MY FAMILY.
WOW.

SIGNED, MY FAMILY.
WOW.
MY EYE IS REALLY SWEATING UP A

WOW.
MY EYE IS REALLY SWEATING UP A
STORM HERE.

MY EYE IS REALLY SWEATING UP A
STORM HERE.
OKAY! LET'S EAT!

[ CAT SCREECHES ]
[ METAL CLANKING ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]
[ LIGHT SWITCH CLICKING ]
[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]

[ LIGHT SWITCH CLICKING ]
[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]
[ CLICKING QUICKENS ]

[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]
[ CLICKING QUICKENS ]
>> [ GROANS ]

[ LOCK CLICKS ]

[ LOCK CLICKING ]

[ EXHALES ]
[ FAUCET TURNS ON AND OFF ]

[ GULPING ]
[ GASPING ]

[ GROANS ]
[ EXHALES ]
[ RADIO TURNS ON ]

[ EXHALES ]
[ RADIO TURNS ON ]
>> Rev. Putty: ABORTION?!

[ RADIO TURNS ON ]
>> Rev. Putty: ABORTION?!
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]

[ RADIO TURNS ON ]
KIDS ARE LITTLE MIRACLES.
WELL, MOST CHILDREN, ANYWAY.

KIDS ARE LITTLE MIRACLES.
WELL, MOST CHILDREN, ANYWAY.
I HAVE THIS NEPHEW.

WELL, MOST CHILDREN, ANYWAY.
I HAVE THIS NEPHEW.
[ WHISTLES ]

I HAVE THIS NEPHEW.
[ WHISTLES ]
FORGET HIM.

[ WHISTLES ]
FORGET HIM.
THAT MORON ISN'T DOING ANYONE A

FORGET HIM.
THAT MORON ISN'T DOING ANYONE A
FAVOR.

THAT MORON ISN'T DOING ANYONE A
FAVOR.
BUT MOST KIDS ARE LITTLE

FAVOR.
BUT MOST KIDS ARE LITTLE
VERSIONS OF US.

BUT MOST KIDS ARE LITTLE
VERSIONS OF US.
IT'S AMAZING.

VERSIONS OF US.
IT'S AMAZING.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE US IN THEM.

IT'S AMAZING.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE US IN THEM.
I MEAN, I JUST --

YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE US IN THEM.
I MEAN, I JUST --
>> WE INTERRUPT REVEREND

I MEAN, I JUST --
>> WE INTERRUPT REVEREND
PUTTY'S --

>> WE INTERRUPT REVEREND
PUTTY'S --
>> Rev. Putty: WHAT?!

PUTTY'S --
>> Rev. Putty: WHAT?!
WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> Rev. Putty: WHAT?!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS FOR

WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS FOR
THE FIRST TIME.

I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS FOR
THE FIRST TIME.
>> ...FOR THIS SPECIAL NEWS

THE FIRST TIME.
>> ...FOR THIS SPECIAL NEWS
REPORT.

>> ...FOR THIS SPECIAL NEWS
REPORT.
>> Rev. Putty: OH!

REPORT.
>> Rev. Putty: OH!
>> AFTER ONLY ONE MONTH OF

>> Rev. Putty: OH!
>> AFTER ONLY ONE MONTH OF
INCARCERATION, SERIAL RAPIST

>> AFTER ONLY ONE MONTH OF
INCARCERATION, SERIAL RAPIST
CECIL CREEPLER...

INCARCERATION, SERIAL RAPIST
CECIL CREEPLER...
>> Rev. Putty: OH, COME ON!

CECIL CREEPLER...
>> Rev. Putty: OH, COME ON!
>> ...WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS CELL

>> Rev. Putty: OH, COME ON!
>> ...WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS CELL
AT FREEDOM...

>> ...WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS CELL
AT FREEDOM...
[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]

AT FREEDOM...
[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]
MORE ON THIS LATER.

[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]
MORE ON THIS LATER.
AND NOW BACK TO REVEREND PUTTY'S

MORE ON THIS LATER.
AND NOW BACK TO REVEREND PUTTY'S
SERMON.

AND NOW BACK TO REVEREND PUTTY'S
SERMON.
>> Rev. Putty: OKAY.

SERMON.
>> Rev. Putty: OKAY.
WHERE WAS I?

>> Rev. Putty: OKAY.
WHERE WAS I?
UH, GOD, JESUS...

WHERE WAS I?
UH, GOD, JESUS...
>> YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, UH --

UH, GOD, JESUS...
>> YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, UH --
>> Rev. Putty: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

>> YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, UH --
>> Rev. Putty: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I GOT IT. THANKS.

>> Rev. Putty: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I GOT IT. THANKS.
>> OH.

I GOT IT. THANKS.
>> OH.
>> Rev. Putty: DO YOU KNOW WHAT

>> OH.
>> Rev. Putty: DO YOU KNOW WHAT
BABIES MEAN TO GOD?

>> Rev. Putty: DO YOU KNOW WHAT
BABIES MEAN TO GOD?
THAT'S RIGHT -- JOB SECURITY.

BABIES MEAN TO GOD?
THAT'S RIGHT -- JOB SECURITY.
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]

THAT'S RIGHT -- JOB SECURITY.
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]
>> BAH! PUTTY, YOU FOOL!

[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]
>> BAH! PUTTY, YOU FOOL!
SOMEDAY YOU'LL DISCOVER THAT

>> BAH! PUTTY, YOU FOOL!
SOMEDAY YOU'LL DISCOVER THAT
LITTLE BABIES ARE THE DEVIL'S

SOMEDAY YOU'LL DISCOVER THAT
LITTLE BABIES ARE THE DEVIL'S
SCABIES.

LITTLE BABIES ARE THE DEVIL'S
SCABIES.
[ CLOCK TICKING ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

I'M NOT HOME YET, MOTHER.
I TOLD YOU -- 9 "P" OF "M" --
NO SOONER!

I TOLD YOU -- 9 "P" OF "M" --
NO SOONER!
[ RINGING STOPS ]

NO SOONER!
[ RINGING STOPS ]
[ TICKING CONTINUES ]

[ BED CREAKING ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

[ RINGING CONTINUES ]
[ BED CREAKS ]
[ RINGING STOPS ]

[ BED CREAKS ]
[ RINGING STOPS ]
[ TELEPHONE DIAL CLICKING ]

[ RINGING STOPS ]
[ TELEPHONE DIAL CLICKING ]
PHONEYCROPS? CENSORDOLL.

[ TELEPHONE DIAL CLICKING ]
PHONEYCROPS? CENSORDOLL.
WHAT'S YOUR PLAN "B"?

PHONEYCROPS? CENSORDOLL.
WHAT'S YOUR PLAN "B"?
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MAYOR!

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN "B"?
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MAYOR!
HE'LL SOON BE IN MY BACK POCKET.

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MAYOR!
HE'LL SOON BE IN MY BACK POCKET.
I ASSURE YOU OF THAT.

HE'LL SOON BE IN MY BACK POCKET.
I ASSURE YOU OF THAT.
OH, BY THE BY, I WANT SOMETHING

I ASSURE YOU OF THAT.
OH, BY THE BY, I WANT SOMETHING
SPECIAL THIS TIME 'ROUND.

OH, BY THE BY, I WANT SOMETHING
SPECIAL THIS TIME 'ROUND.
ARE YOU SITTING?

SPECIAL THIS TIME 'ROUND.
ARE YOU SITTING?
FERTILIZED.

ARE YOU SITTING?
FERTILIZED.
THAT'S RIGHT -- FERTILIZED EGGS,

FERTILIZED.
THAT'S RIGHT -- FERTILIZED EGGS,
TEEMING WITH INNER LIFE.

THAT'S RIGHT -- FERTILIZED EGGS,
TEEMING WITH INNER LIFE.
QUIT GAGGING, MAN, AND LISTEN TO

TEEMING WITH INNER LIFE.
QUIT GAGGING, MAN, AND LISTEN TO
ME!

QUIT GAGGING, MAN, AND LISTEN TO
ME!
I'LL REWARD YOU THOROUGHLY.

ME!
I'LL REWARD YOU THOROUGHLY.
YES, YES, I'LL FINALLY, AT LONG

I'LL REWARD YOU THOROUGHLY.
YES, YES, I'LL FINALLY, AT LONG
LAST, ALLOW YOU TO GAZE UPON MY

YES, YES, I'LL FINALLY, AT LONG
LAST, ALLOW YOU TO GAZE UPON MY
HEATHEN!

LAST, ALLOW YOU TO GAZE UPON MY
HEATHEN!
MM, QUITE DRY.

HEATHEN!
MM, QUITE DRY.
YES, DRY AS A HEN'S!

MM, QUITE DRY.
YES, DRY AS A HEN'S!
MY MOTHER SAW TO THAT.

YES, DRY AS A HEN'S!
MY MOTHER SAW TO THAT.
SPEAKING OF WHOM, I'M HANGING

MY MOTHER SAW TO THAT.
SPEAKING OF WHOM, I'M HANGING
UP.

SPEAKING OF WHOM, I'M HANGING
UP.
DON'T FAIL ME.

UP.
DON'T FAIL ME.
[ CLOCK CHIMES ]

DON'T FAIL ME.
[ CLOCK CHIMES ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

[ CLOCK CHIMES ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO, MOTHER.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO, MOTHER.
NO, I JUST GOT IN.

HELLO, MOTHER.
NO, I JUST GOT IN.
WELL, IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN

NO, I JUST GOT IN.
WELL, IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
OCCUPIED.

WELL, IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
OCCUPIED.
PERHAPS YOU FINGERED THE DIAL

OCCUPIED.
PERHAPS YOU FINGERED THE DIAL
ERRONEOUSLY.

PERHAPS YOU FINGERED THE DIAL
ERRONEOUSLY.
YES, I HEARD SOME OF IT.

ERRONEOUSLY.
YES, I HEARD SOME OF IT.
MOTHER, I HARDLY THINK THE

YES, I HEARD SOME OF IT.
MOTHER, I HARDLY THINK THE
REVEREND PUTTY IS SUFFICIENTLY

MOTHER, I HARDLY THINK THE
REVEREND PUTTY IS SUFFICIENTLY
PIOUS ENOUGH TO EVEN TACKLE THE

REVEREND PUTTY IS SUFFICIENTLY
PIOUS ENOUGH TO EVEN TACKLE THE
SUBJECT OF ORIGINAL SIN.

PIOUS ENOUGH TO EVEN TACKLE THE
SUBJECT OF ORIGINAL SIN.
OF COURSE I'M MORE SUITED!

SUBJECT OF ORIGINAL SIN.
OF COURSE I'M MORE SUITED!
WHAT A QUESTION!

OF COURSE I'M MORE SUITED!
WHAT A QUESTION!
MY LACK OF EGGS IS NOT A

WHAT A QUESTION!
MY LACK OF EGGS IS NOT A
HINDRANCE!

MY LACK OF EGGS IS NOT A
HINDRANCE!
IT IS AN ASSET!

HINDRANCE!
IT IS AN ASSET!
DON'T PUSH ME DOWN LIKE THAT

IT IS AN ASSET!
DON'T PUSH ME DOWN LIKE THAT
WHEN YOU DID THIS TO ME!

DON'T PUSH ME DOWN LIKE THAT
WHEN YOU DID THIS TO ME!
WELL, THEN WHAT GOOD WAS

WHEN YOU DID THIS TO ME!
WELL, THEN WHAT GOOD WAS
RELIEVING ME OF MY REPRODUCTIVE

WELL, THEN WHAT GOOD WAS
RELIEVING ME OF MY REPRODUCTIVE
PARTS IF I CANNOT BE AN EXPERT

RELIEVING ME OF MY REPRODUCTIVE
PARTS IF I CANNOT BE AN EXPERT
ON THE MATTER?!

PARTS IF I CANNOT BE AN EXPERT
ON THE MATTER?!
I WAS AN INFANT WHEN I HAD THEM.

ON THE MATTER?!
I WAS AN INFANT WHEN I HAD THEM.
I WAS AN INFANT WHEN YOU HAD

I WAS AN INFANT WHEN I HAD THEM.
I WAS AN INFANT WHEN YOU HAD
THEM REMOVED.

I WAS AN INFANT WHEN YOU HAD
THEM REMOVED.
SO FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES,

THEM REMOVED.
SO FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES,
I AM IMMACULATE FROM CONCEPTION.

SO FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES,
I AM IMMACULATE FROM CONCEPTION.
I AM NOT HOLIER THAN THOU,

I AM IMMACULATE FROM CONCEPTION.
I AM NOT HOLIER THAN THOU,
MOTHER.

I AM NOT HOLIER THAN THOU,
MOTHER.
BUT I AM HOLIER THAN YOU.

>> MM-MM-MM!

MUSTARD!
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS OUT OF THE

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS OUT OF THE
CLEAN CARPET, OR IT WON'T STAY

I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS OUT OF THE
CLEAN CARPET, OR IT WON'T STAY
CLEAN.

HUH?
AAH!
[ GASPS ]

AAH!
[ GASPS ]
N-O-O-O-O!

[ GASPS ]
N-O-O-O-O!
HUBBY, YOU CAN'T!

N-O-O-O-O!
HUBBY, YOU CAN'T!
NOT YOU!

HUBBY, YOU CAN'T!
NOT YOU!
YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!

NOT YOU!
YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!
YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!!

YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!
YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!!
[ CRIES ]

YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!!
[ CRIES ]
NO!

[ CRIES ]
NO!
DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT!

NO!
DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT!
NOT LIKE EVERYONE! NOT YOU!

DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT!
NOT LIKE EVERYONE! NOT YOU!
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

NOT LIKE EVERYONE! NOT YOU!
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
YOU'RE SPECIAL! YOU CAN'T!

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
YOU'RE SPECIAL! YOU CAN'T!
[ CRYING ]

YOU'RE SPECIAL! YOU CAN'T!
[ CRYING ]
NOT WITH YOU! YOU'RE DIFFERENT!

[ CRYING ]
NOT WITH YOU! YOU'RE DIFFERENT!
[ CRYING ]

NOT WITH YOU! YOU'RE DIFFERENT!
[ CRYING ]
>> CREEPLER WAS APPREHENDED LAST

[ CRYING ]
>> CREEPLER WAS APPREHENDED LAST
MARCH WHEN DIORAMA ELEMENTARY

>> CREEPLER WAS APPREHENDED LAST
MARCH WHEN DIORAMA ELEMENTARY
SCHOOL TEACHER AGNES SCULPTHAM,

MARCH WHEN DIORAMA ELEMENTARY
SCHOOL TEACHER AGNES SCULPTHAM,
DESCRIBED AS A GENERALLY

SCHOOL TEACHER AGNES SCULPTHAM,
DESCRIBED AS A GENERALLY
DISINTERESTED HUMAN BEING BY HER

DESCRIBED AS A GENERALLY
DISINTERESTED HUMAN BEING BY HER
STUDENTS, DOGGEDLY STALKED THE

DISINTERESTED HUMAN BEING BY HER
STUDENTS, DOGGEDLY STALKED THE
PERPETRATOR FOR SEVERAL WEEKS,

STUDENTS, DOGGEDLY STALKED THE
PERPETRATOR FOR SEVERAL WEEKS,
HEROICALLY SACRIFICING HER

PERPETRATOR FOR SEVERAL WEEKS,
HEROICALLY SACRIFICING HER
VIRGINITY, ALONG WITH HER

HEROICALLY SACRIFICING HER
VIRGINITY, ALONG WITH HER
NATURALLY BLOND HAIR, IN ORDER

VIRGINITY, ALONG WITH HER
NATURALLY BLOND HAIR, IN ORDER
TO FINALLY APPREHEND THE

NATURALLY BLOND HAIR, IN ORDER
TO FINALLY APPREHEND THE
VIOLENT, BRUNETTE-CHASING ROMEO.

TO FINALLY APPREHEND THE
VIOLENT, BRUNETTE-CHASING ROMEO.
WHEN ASKED HOW SHE CAME TO CATCH

VIOLENT, BRUNETTE-CHASING ROMEO.
WHEN ASKED HOW SHE CAME TO CATCH
THIS PERVERTED RAGAMUFFIN,

WHEN ASKED HOW SHE CAME TO CATCH
THIS PERVERTED RAGAMUFFIN,
SCULPTHAM SIMPLY STATED, "I LEFT

THIS PERVERTED RAGAMUFFIN,
SCULPTHAM SIMPLY STATED, "I LEFT
MY DOORS UNLOCKED."

SCULPTHAM SIMPLY STATED, "I LEFT
MY DOORS UNLOCKED."
APPARENTLY TO THE GLUM, FRUMPY

MY DOORS UNLOCKED."
APPARENTLY TO THE GLUM, FRUMPY
TEACHER, THAT ACTION ALONE WAS

APPARENTLY TO THE GLUM, FRUMPY
TEACHER, THAT ACTION ALONE WAS
FAR MORE HARROWING THAN THE

TEACHER, THAT ACTION ALONE WAS
FAR MORE HARROWING THAN THE
ACTUAL ACT OF SAVAGE

FAR MORE HARROWING THAN THE
ACTUAL ACT OF SAVAGE
NONCONSENSUAL SEX.

ACTUAL ACT OF SAVAGE
NONCONSENSUAL SEX.
REVEREND, BACK TO YOU.

NONCONSENSUAL SEX.
REVEREND, BACK TO YOU.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.

REVEREND, BACK TO YOU.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
>> NOPE. BACK TO YOU.

>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
>> NOPE. BACK TO YOU.
>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S A TOUGH

>> NOPE. BACK TO YOU.
>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S A TOUGH
ACT TO FOLLOW.

>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S A TOUGH
ACT TO FOLLOW.
>> YOU CAN DO IT.

ACT TO FOLLOW.
>> YOU CAN DO IT.
>> Rev. Putty: DON'T PATRONIZE

>> YOU CAN DO IT.
>> Rev. Putty: DON'T PATRONIZE
ME.

>> Rev. Putty: DON'T PATRONIZE
ME.
AND DID YOU NEED TO ADD SO MANY

ME.
AND DID YOU NEED TO ADD SO MANY
GORY DETAILS?

AND DID YOU NEED TO ADD SO MANY
GORY DETAILS?
>> I DON'T THINK I DID.

GORY DETAILS?
>> I DON'T THINK I DID.
>> Rev. Putty: YEAH, RIGHT.

>> I DON'T THINK I DID.
>> Rev. Putty: YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU WENT ON AND ON.

>> Rev. Putty: YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU WENT ON AND ON.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A

YOU WENT ON AND ON.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A
PICTURE.

I MEAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A
PICTURE.
IT WOULD HAVE LASTED LONGER.

PICTURE.
IT WOULD HAVE LASTED LONGER.
>> [ GROANS ]

IT WOULD HAVE LASTED LONGER.
>> [ GROANS ]
>> WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> [ GROANS ]
>> WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> Rev. Putty: NEVER -- OKAY.

>> WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> Rev. Putty: NEVER -- OKAY.
NOW, WHERE WAS I?

>> Rev. Putty: NEVER -- OKAY.
NOW, WHERE WAS I?
UH...UH...JESUS...UM...

NOW, WHERE WAS I?
UH...UH...JESUS...UM...
OH, O-OKAY.

UH...UH...JESUS...UM...
OH, O-OKAY.
SO, IN CLOSING, LET ME STRESS --

OH, O-OKAY.
SO, IN CLOSING, LET ME STRESS --
PROCREATION/CHILDREN IS WHAT GOD

SO, IN CLOSING, LET ME STRESS --
PROCREATION/CHILDREN IS WHAT GOD
INVENTED IN ORDER TO BRING US

PROCREATION/CHILDREN IS WHAT GOD
INVENTED IN ORDER TO BRING US
TOGETHER...

INVENTED IN ORDER TO BRING US
TOGETHER...
>> [ MOANING ]

TOGETHER...
>> [ MOANING ]
>> Rev. Putty: ...TO KEEP US

>> [ MOANING ]
>> Rev. Putty: ...TO KEEP US
FROM BEING ALONE, BECAUSE, DEAR

>> Rev. Putty: ...TO KEEP US
FROM BEING ALONE, BECAUSE, DEAR
FRIENDS, ALONE SUCKS.

FROM BEING ALONE, BECAUSE, DEAR
FRIENDS, ALONE SUCKS.
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, NOT FOR

FRIENDS, ALONE SUCKS.
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, NOT FOR
ME.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, NOT FOR
ME.
SAVE ALONE FOR THE WORMS AND THE

ME.
SAVE ALONE FOR THE WORMS AND THE
OTHER ANIMALS THAT GET IT ON BY

SAVE ALONE FOR THE WORMS AND THE
OTHER ANIMALS THAT GET IT ON BY
THEMSELVES.

OTHER ANIMALS THAT GET IT ON BY
THEMSELVES.
[ BABY CRYING ]

THEMSELVES.
[ BABY CRYING ]
WHO WANTS TO BE A GROSS, SLIMY

[ BABY CRYING ]
WHO WANTS TO BE A GROSS, SLIMY
WORM, ANYWAY?

WHO WANTS TO BE A GROSS, SLIMY
WORM, ANYWAY?
NO ONE!

WORM, ANYWAY?
NO ONE!
WE NEED OTHERS IN OUR LIFE AS A

NO ONE!
WE NEED OTHERS IN OUR LIFE AS A
CONSTANT REMINDER THAT WE'RE NOT

WE NEED OTHERS IN OUR LIFE AS A
CONSTANT REMINDER THAT WE'RE NOT
THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE,

CONSTANT REMINDER THAT WE'RE NOT
THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE,
BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON

THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE,
BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON
WHO'S RESERVED THAT PARTICULAR

BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON
WHO'S RESERVED THAT PARTICULAR
SECTION OF THE COSMOS.

WHO'S RESERVED THAT PARTICULAR
SECTION OF THE COSMOS.
YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS, LADIES.

SECTION OF THE COSMOS.
YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS, LADIES.
>> YES.

YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS, LADIES.
>> YES.
ME.

>> YES.
ME.
I AM MATRIARCH OF MORALTON!

ME.
I AM MATRIARCH OF MORALTON!
MMM.

>> Rev. Putty: AMEN.

OKAY, I'M OUTTA HERE.

>> NO. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

>> Rev. Putty: WHAT?

I SAID "AMEN."

DON'T YOU LISTEN?

>> YOU HAVE A HALF A MINUTE TO

FILL HERE.

>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, I ALREADY

SAID "AMEN."

THAT MEANS "THE END" IN BIBLE

JABBER.

>> YOU'RE SCHEDULED TILL THE TOP

OF THE HOUR.

>> Rev. Putty: BOO-HOO.

WHEN I'M DONE, I'M DONE.

I DON'T FILL.

>> IT WAS TOO SHORT.

>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE TOO SHORT.

>> HEY, COME ON.

>> Rev. Putty: WHAT'S THE

MATTER -- KIDNEY PROBLEMS?

>> WOW.

>> Rev. Putty: HOW'S THE WEATHER

DOWN THERE?

>> SAME AS --

>> Rev. Putty: HEY, DON'T YOU

MIDGETS USUALLY SOUND LIKE YOU

INHALED HELIUM?

>> ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I DON'T

HAVE...

>> Rev. Putty: OH, SORRY.

YOU SHRIMPS PREFER "LITTLE

PEOPLE," DON'T YOU?

>> IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE BALD?

IS THAT IT?

>> Rev. Putty: I HAVE HAIR ON

THE SIDES!

>> OKAY, TIME'S UP.

THANKS FOR FILLING.

>> Rev. Putty: I'M GONNA KILL

YOU!