Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 3, Episode 10 - Sundays - full transcript

>> Rev. Putty: FOR REMEMBER THE

SPOOKY STORY OF LAZARUS.

HE DID NOT REJECT JESUS' GIFT OF

LIFE BACK FROM THE DEAD AND SAY,

"OH, LORD, YOU ARE A WEIRDO.

YOUR GIFT IS BORING.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE A HIKE,

YOU BIG, DUMB, HOLY MESSIAH?"

NO, MY FRIENDS.
LAZARUS BELIEVED THAT LIFE IS
PRECIOUS...

LAZARUS BELIEVED THAT LIFE IS
PRECIOUS...
AS PRECIOUS AS MONEY!

PRECIOUS...
AS PRECIOUS AS MONEY!
OR THOSE LITTLE KISSING ZEBRA



AS PRECIOUS AS MONEY!
OR THOSE LITTLE KISSING ZEBRA
KNICKKNACKS THAT WE LOVE TO

OR THOSE LITTLE KISSING ZEBRA
KNICKKNACKS THAT WE LOVE TO
DISPLAY ON TOP OF OUR CABINETS.

KNICKKNACKS THAT WE LOVE TO
DISPLAY ON TOP OF OUR CABINETS.
YES, OREL.

DISPLAY ON TOP OF OUR CABINETS.
YES, OREL.
>> Orel: I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT

YES, OREL.
>> Orel: I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT
ABOUT PEOPLE NOT SPITTING INTO

>> Orel: I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT
ABOUT PEOPLE NOT SPITTING INTO
GOD'S FACE.

ABOUT PEOPLE NOT SPITTING INTO
GOD'S FACE.
>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S WHY I GET

GOD'S FACE.
>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S WHY I GET
PAID, SON.

>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S WHY I GET
PAID, SON.
>> REVEREND, WHAT A SIMPLY

PAID, SON.
>> REVEREND, WHAT A SIMPLY
CONTROVERSIAL SERMON!

>> REVEREND, WHAT A SIMPLY
CONTROVERSIAL SERMON!
>> Rev. Putty: NO SWEAT.

CONTROVERSIAL SERMON!
>> Rev. Putty: NO SWEAT.
>> YOU SHOW FAITH WITH SUCH

>> Rev. Putty: NO SWEAT.
>> YOU SHOW FAITH WITH SUCH
CONTEMPTUOUS ZEAL UP ON THAT

>> YOU SHOW FAITH WITH SUCH
CONTEMPTUOUS ZEAL UP ON THAT
PULPIT.



CONTEMPTUOUS ZEAL UP ON THAT
PULPIT.
>> Rev. Putty: OW. MY ARM.

PULPIT.
>> Rev. Putty: OW. MY ARM.
>> SWEET HEAVENS!

>> Rev. Putty: OW. MY ARM.
>> SWEET HEAVENS!
I'M SO SORRY!

>> SWEET HEAVENS!
I'M SO SORRY!
>> OH!

I'M SO SORRY!
>> OH!
>> HI, DADDY!

>> OH!
>> HI, DADDY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

>> HI, DADDY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
>> PATROLLING...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
>> PATROLLING...
FOR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR.

>> PATROLLING...
FOR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR.
MMM.

>> [ MUNCHING ]
>> HI. EXCUSE ME.
I NOTICED YOU HAVE A CHILD.

>> HI. EXCUSE ME.
I NOTICED YOU HAVE A CHILD.
ME, TOO.

I NOTICED YOU HAVE A CHILD.
ME, TOO.
CAN WE SIT TOGETHER SO THEY CAN

ME, TOO.
CAN WE SIT TOGETHER SO THEY CAN
TALK TO EACH OTHER AND NOT US?

CAN WE SIT TOGETHER SO THEY CAN
TALK TO EACH OTHER AND NOT US?
>> [ Muffled ] OH. UM...

TALK TO EACH OTHER AND NOT US?
>> [ Muffled ] OH. UM...
>> TINA, TALK TO THAT OTHER ONE.

>> [ Muffled ] OH. UM...
>> TINA, TALK TO THAT OTHER ONE.
HI, I'M DOTTIE.

>> TINA, TALK TO THAT OTHER ONE.
HI, I'M DOTTIE.
>> FLORENCE.

HI, I'M DOTTIE.
>> FLORENCE.
>> THAT LOOKS GOOEY.

>> FLORENCE.
>> THAT LOOKS GOOEY.
>> MOMMY!

>> THAT LOOKS GOOEY.
>> MOMMY!
>> DEAR, GROWN-UPS ARE TALKING.

>> MOMMY!
>> DEAR, GROWN-UPS ARE TALKING.
EW. THAT LOOKS YUCKY.

>> DEAR, GROWN-UPS ARE TALKING.
EW. THAT LOOKS YUCKY.
>> MOM!

EW. THAT LOOKS YUCKY.
>> MOM!
>> UGH, I NEVER GET TO HAVE AN

>> MOM!
>> UGH, I NEVER GET TO HAVE AN
ADULT CONVERSATION WITH AN

>> UGH, I NEVER GET TO HAVE AN
ADULT CONVERSATION WITH AN
ADULT.

ADULT CONVERSATION WITH AN
ADULT.
OH...I DON'T KNOW WHERE I PUT

ADULT.
OH...I DON'T KNOW WHERE I PUT
IT ALL.

OH...I DON'T KNOW WHERE I PUT
IT ALL.
DO YOU?

IT ALL.
DO YOU?
>> NO, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU

DO YOU?
>> NO, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU
PUT IT ALL.

>> NO, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU
PUT IT ALL.
>> I MEANT YOU.

PUT IT ALL.
>> I MEANT YOU.
WHERE YOU PUT IT.

>> I MEANT YOU.
WHERE YOU PUT IT.
>> YES.

WHERE YOU PUT IT.
>> YES.
I KNOW WHERE I...PUT IT ALL.

>> YES.
I KNOW WHERE I...PUT IT ALL.
>> ANYWAY, MY HUSBAND'S IN THE

I KNOW WHERE I...PUT IT ALL.
>> ANYWAY, MY HUSBAND'S IN THE
TROPHY BUSINESS.

>> ANYWAY, MY HUSBAND'S IN THE
TROPHY BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW -- BEST THIS,

TROPHY BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW -- BEST THIS,
FIRST-PRIZE THAT.

YOU KNOW -- BEST THIS,
FIRST-PRIZE THAT.
TAKE A STATUE, PUT IT ON YOUR

FIRST-PRIZE THAT.
TAKE A STATUE, PUT IT ON YOUR
MANTEL, BRAG!

TAKE A STATUE, PUT IT ON YOUR
MANTEL, BRAG!
>> OH, HE MAKES THEM?

MANTEL, BRAG!
>> OH, HE MAKES THEM?
>> FOR GOOD MONEY.

>> OH, HE MAKES THEM?
>> FOR GOOD MONEY.
REALLY GOOD MONEY.

>> FOR GOOD MONEY.
REALLY GOOD MONEY.
OF COURSE, IT'S A LOT OF

REALLY GOOD MONEY.
OF COURSE, IT'S A LOT OF
RESPONSIBILITY, AND THERE'S NOT

OF COURSE, IT'S A LOT OF
RESPONSIBILITY, AND THERE'S NOT
A LOT OF SPARE TIME TO SPEND

RESPONSIBILITY, AND THERE'S NOT
A LOT OF SPARE TIME TO SPEND
WITH ME.

A LOT OF SPARE TIME TO SPEND
WITH ME.
>> HMM.

WITH ME.
>> HMM.
WELL, THERE MUST BE A LOT OF

>> HMM.
WELL, THERE MUST BE A LOT OF
COMPETITION OUT THERE.

WELL, THERE MUST BE A LOT OF
COMPETITION OUT THERE.
>> MUST BE.

COMPETITION OUT THERE.
>> MUST BE.
>> SO...YOUR CHILD, TINA, LOOKS

>> MUST BE.
>> SO...YOUR CHILD, TINA, LOOKS
FAMILIAR --

>> SO...YOUR CHILD, TINA, LOOKS
FAMILIAR --
>> GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH THIS

FAMILIAR --
>> GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH THIS
OTHER CHILD, DEAR.

>> GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH THIS
OTHER CHILD, DEAR.
>> MOM, DO I HAVE TO?

OTHER CHILD, DEAR.
>> MOM, DO I HAVE TO?
>> YES.

>> MOM, DO I HAVE TO?
>> YES.
>> THAT'S MY DAUGHTER.

>> YES.
>> THAT'S MY DAUGHTER.
>> [ CHUCKLES ] I KNOW!

>> THAT'S MY DAUGHTER.
>> [ CHUCKLES ] I KNOW!
I CAN TELL THE KIDS APART.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] I KNOW!
I CAN TELL THE KIDS APART.
COME ON.

I CAN TELL THE KIDS APART.
COME ON.
LET THE ADULTS TALK NOW.

COME ON.
LET THE ADULTS TALK NOW.
[ SCREAMING, EXPLOSIONS ]

LET THE ADULTS TALK NOW.
[ SCREAMING, EXPLOSIONS ]
WITH MY HUSBAND'S SCHEDULE, WE

[ SCREAMING, EXPLOSIONS ]
WITH MY HUSBAND'S SCHEDULE, WE
COULDN'T EVEN HAVE OUR OWN

WITH MY HUSBAND'S SCHEDULE, WE
COULDN'T EVEN HAVE OUR OWN
CHILD.

COULDN'T EVEN HAVE OUR OWN
CHILD.
WE HAD TO BUY TINA FROM THE

CHILD.
WE HAD TO BUY TINA FROM THE
NOHARTS WHEN THEY HAD IDENTICAL

WE HAD TO BUY TINA FROM THE
NOHARTS WHEN THEY HAD IDENTICAL
TWINS.

NOHARTS WHEN THEY HAD IDENTICAL
TWINS.
>> I SEE.

TWINS.
>> I SEE.
THAT'S WHY I'VE SEEN TINA WITH

>> I SEE.
THAT'S WHY I'VE SEEN TINA WITH
ANOTHER MOTHER.

THAT'S WHY I'VE SEEN TINA WITH
ANOTHER MOTHER.
>> RIGHT? SO EMBARRASSING.

ANOTHER MOTHER.
>> RIGHT? SO EMBARRASSING.
I WISH THE OTHER ONE WOULD JUST

>> RIGHT? SO EMBARRASSING.
I WISH THE OTHER ONE WOULD JUST
DIE!

I WISH THE OTHER ONE WOULD JUST
DIE!
>> OH, WELL, THAT'S...

DIE!
>> OH, WELL, THAT'S...
>> NO, NOT REALLY, OF COURSE.

>> OH, WELL, THAT'S...
>> NO, NOT REALLY, OF COURSE.
IT'S JUST SUCH A SMALL TOWN,

>> NO, NOT REALLY, OF COURSE.
IT'S JUST SUCH A SMALL TOWN,
THOUGH.

IT'S JUST SUCH A SMALL TOWN,
THOUGH.
OH, I AM STUFFED.

THOUGH.
OH, I AM STUFFED.
I SHOULD GO TO THE BATHROOM.

>> LOOK, MOMMY, IT'S DADDY!
>> RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
THEY'RE NUDE!

>> RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
THEY'RE NUDE!
POW! POW! POW! POW!

THEY'RE NUDE!
POW! POW! POW! POW!
>> ROGER! PUT THAT AWAY!

POW! POW! POW! POW!
>> ROGER! PUT THAT AWAY!
COWARDS SHOULD NEVER CARRY

>> ROGER! PUT THAT AWAY!
COWARDS SHOULD NEVER CARRY
GUNS!

COWARDS SHOULD NEVER CARRY
GUNS!
>> BUT GOD'LL GET ALL M-M-MAD

GUNS!
>> BUT GOD'LL GET ALL M-M-MAD
IF I SEE ALL THEIR

>> BUT GOD'LL GET ALL M-M-MAD
IF I SEE ALL THEIR
REPRODUCTIONABLES!

IF I SEE ALL THEIR
REPRODUCTIONABLES!
>> THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING OUT!

>> IT'S SO DARK IN HERE...

AND COLD.

OH, WELL.

I WON'T BE IN HERE FOR LONG.

I'LL JUST GO RIGHT OUT AND GET
MYSELF ANOTHER HUSBAND.
OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SO

MYSELF ANOTHER HUSBAND.
OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SO
HUMILIATING.

OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SO
HUMILIATING.
>> NO!

HUMILIATING.
>> NO!
>> FLORENCE, PLEASE.

>> NO!
>> FLORENCE, PLEASE.
YOU LEFT ROGER, NOT THE OTHER

>> FLORENCE, PLEASE.
YOU LEFT ROGER, NOT THE OTHER
WAY AROUND.

YOU LEFT ROGER, NOT THE OTHER
WAY AROUND.
YOU GOT TO DO THE HUMILIATING.

WAY AROUND.
YOU GOT TO DO THE HUMILIATING.
I DIDN'T.

YOU GOT TO DO THE HUMILIATING.
I DIDN'T.
>> I DIDN'T HUMILIATE ROGER.

I DIDN'T.
>> I DIDN'T HUMILIATE ROGER.
>> RIGHT.

>> I DIDN'T HUMILIATE ROGER.
>> RIGHT.
SO HE'S LETTING YOU SEE YOUR

>> RIGHT.
SO HE'S LETTING YOU SEE YOUR
CHILD MORE THAN ONE SUNDAY A

SO HE'S LETTING YOU SEE YOUR
CHILD MORE THAN ONE SUNDAY A
MONTH?

CHILD MORE THAN ONE SUNDAY A
MONTH?
>> WELL, NO.

MONTH?
>> WELL, NO.
>> HU-MIL-I-A-T-I-D-E-D

>> WELL, NO.
>> HU-MIL-I-A-T-I-D-E-D
WHAT ARE THOSE?

>> HU-MIL-I-A-T-I-D-E-D
WHAT ARE THOSE?
>> ZEBRAS.

WHAT ARE THOSE?
>> ZEBRAS.
>> WHAT DO THEY DO?

>> ZEBRAS.
>> WHAT DO THEY DO?
>> NOTHING.

>> WHAT DO THEY DO?
>> NOTHING.
THEY -- THEY STAND THERE AND

>> NOTHING.
THEY -- THEY STAND THERE AND
LOOK NICE.

THEY -- THEY STAND THERE AND
LOOK NICE.
>> NO, THEY DON'T.

LOOK NICE.
>> NO, THEY DON'T.
>> YES, THEY DO. LOOK.

>> NO, THEY DON'T.
>> YES, THEY DO. LOOK.
SEE! IT WORKS!

ANNE!
>> HI, MOMMY!
LOOK, DADDY! IT'S MOMMY!

>> HI, MOMMY!
LOOK, DADDY! IT'S MOMMY!
>> COME ON, EVERYONE. LET'S GO.

LOOK, DADDY! IT'S MOMMY!
>> COME ON, EVERYONE. LET'S GO.
SOMETHING AROUND HERE STINKS.

>> COME ON, EVERYONE. LET'S GO.
SOMETHING AROUND HERE STINKS.
POOH-WOO!

>> Rev. Putty: "WE WERE ALL MADE

IN GOD'S IMAGE."

WHAT DOES THAT PHRASE REALLY

MEAN?

I MEAN, IF AN UGLY, FAT LADY IS
MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE, THEN HOW
CAN A STUCK-UP, PRETTY LADY ALSO

MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE, THEN HOW
CAN A STUCK-UP, PRETTY LADY ALSO
BE MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE?

CAN A STUCK-UP, PRETTY LADY ALSO
BE MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE?
WELL, LOOK, IT'S NOT ROCKET

BE MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE?
WELL, LOOK, IT'S NOT ROCKET
SCIENCE.

WELL, LOOK, IT'S NOT ROCKET
SCIENCE.
THE ANSWER'S SIMPLE...

SCIENCE.
THE ANSWER'S SIMPLE...
[ SCRUBBING ]

THE ANSWER'S SIMPLE...
[ SCRUBBING ]
>> [ GULPS ]

[ SCRUBBING ]
>> [ GULPS ]
ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

>> [ GULPS ]
ARE YOU MAD AT ME?
>> [ Muffled ] NO. WHY?

ARE YOU MAD AT ME?
>> [ Muffled ] NO. WHY?
>> NOTHING.

>> [ Muffled ] NO. WHY?
>> NOTHING.
YOU KNOW, THE REVEREND'S

>> NOTHING.
YOU KNOW, THE REVEREND'S
COMMENT.

YOU KNOW, THE REVEREND'S
COMMENT.
>> I DON'T REMEMBER A COMMENT.

COMMENT.
>> I DON'T REMEMBER A COMMENT.
>> THAT HE'S MORE ATTRACTED TO

>> I DON'T REMEMBER A COMMENT.
>> THAT HE'S MORE ATTRACTED TO
ME THAN YOU.

>> THAT HE'S MORE ATTRACTED TO
ME THAN YOU.
>> [ Chuckling ] OH.

ME THAN YOU.
>> [ Chuckling ] OH.
DOTTIE, HE NEVER S--

>> [ Chuckling ] OH.
DOTTIE, HE NEVER S--
>> DURING THE SERMON, HE CALLED

DOTTIE, HE NEVER S--
>> DURING THE SERMON, HE CALLED
ME "PRETTY."

>> DURING THE SERMON, HE CALLED
ME "PRETTY."
>> WHEN?

ME "PRETTY."
>> WHEN?
HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU.

>> WHEN?
HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU.
>> HE DIDN'T HAVE TO.

HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU.
>> HE DIDN'T HAVE TO.
HE MENTIONED "FAT," AND THEN HE

>> HE DIDN'T HAVE TO.
HE MENTIONED "FAT," AND THEN HE
MENTIONED "PRETTY."

HE MENTIONED "FAT," AND THEN HE
MENTIONED "PRETTY."
IT WAS OBVIOUS WHAT TWO PEOPLE

MENTIONED "PRETTY."
IT WAS OBVIOUS WHAT TWO PEOPLE
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

IT WAS OBVIOUS WHAT TWO PEOPLE
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.
I'M NOT FAT. YOU ARE.

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.
I'M NOT FAT. YOU ARE.
>> DON'T CALL ME "FAT."

I'M NOT FAT. YOU ARE.
>> DON'T CALL ME "FAT."
>> I DIDN'T. I SAID "YOU ARE."

>> DON'T CALL ME "FAT."
>> I DIDN'T. I SAID "YOU ARE."
BUT I DIDN'T USE THE WORD.

>> I DIDN'T. I SAID "YOU ARE."
BUT I DIDN'T USE THE WORD.
I COULD HAVE MEANT ANY WORD.

BUT I DIDN'T USE THE WORD.
I COULD HAVE MEANT ANY WORD.
>> THAT'S SNEAKY.

I COULD HAVE MEANT ANY WORD.
>> THAT'S SNEAKY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO

>> THAT'S SNEAKY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO
PROVE IT, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO
PROVE IT, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU
CALLED ME "FAT" JUST NOW.

PROVE IT, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU
CALLED ME "FAT" JUST NOW.
>> OKAY. PROVE IT.

CALLED ME "FAT" JUST NOW.
>> OKAY. PROVE IT.
>> I SAID I CAN'T.

>> OKAY. PROVE IT.
>> I SAID I CAN'T.
>> WELL, FINE.

>> I SAID I CAN'T.
>> WELL, FINE.
THEN DON'T BE PARANOID.

>> WELL, FINE.
THEN DON'T BE PARANOID.
>> I KNOW I'M FAT.

THEN DON'T BE PARANOID.
>> I KNOW I'M FAT.
I JUST DON'T WANT YOU CALLING

>> I KNOW I'M FAT.
I JUST DON'T WANT YOU CALLING
ME "FAT."

I JUST DON'T WANT YOU CALLING
ME "FAT."
IT HURTS MY FEELINGS.

ME "FAT."
IT HURTS MY FEELINGS.
>> OKAY, LOOK -- I'M SORRY.

IT HURTS MY FEELINGS.
>> OKAY, LOOK -- I'M SORRY.
I'M NEVER GOING TO FORGET NEVER

>> OKAY, LOOK -- I'M SORRY.
I'M NEVER GOING TO FORGET NEVER
TO CALL YOU THAT.

I'M NEVER GOING TO FORGET NEVER
TO CALL YOU THAT.
HERE -- I'M MAKING A NOTE OF IT

TO CALL YOU THAT.
HERE -- I'M MAKING A NOTE OF IT
RIGHT NOW.

HERE -- I'M MAKING A NOTE OF IT
RIGHT NOW.
SEE? THERE. DONE.

>> [ MUNCHING ]
[ GULPS ]
[ HOOVES CLOPPING ]

[ GULPS ]
[ HOOVES CLOPPING ]
[ ZEBRA WHINNIES ]

>> Rev. Putty: THAT IS WHY, WHEN

I DO OCCASIONALLY WITNESS A

TRANSGRESSION BY A HUSBAND

TOWARD HIS WIFE, I THINK TO

MYSELF, "THAT MAN DOESN'T KNOW

HOW GOOD HE HAS IT.

I SHOULD BE WITH HER TO SHOW HER
WHAT A REAL HUSBAND IS LIKE."
PEOPLE SAY, "BUT, REVEREND,

WHAT A REAL HUSBAND IS LIKE."
PEOPLE SAY, "BUT, REVEREND,
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE WITH

PEOPLE SAY, "BUT, REVEREND,
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE WITH
WOMEN, ANYWAY.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE WITH
WOMEN, ANYWAY.
WHAT'S THE DIFF?"

WOMEN, ANYWAY.
WHAT'S THE DIFF?"
"NO," I SAY.

WHAT'S THE DIFF?"
"NO," I SAY.
"I'M NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST.

"NO," I SAY.
"I'M NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST.
I'M PROTESTANT.

"I'M NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST.
I'M PROTESTANT.
I PLAY THE FIELD LIKE ANYONE

I'M PROTESTANT.
I PLAY THE FIELD LIKE ANYONE
ELSE."

I PLAY THE FIELD LIKE ANYONE
ELSE."
BUT IT'S HARD.

ELSE."
BUT IT'S HARD.
WOMEN LIKE RENEGADES, AND WHAT

BUT IT'S HARD.
WOMEN LIKE RENEGADES, AND WHAT
AM I GONNA DO, REINVENT MYSELF?

WOMEN LIKE RENEGADES, AND WHAT
AM I GONNA DO, REINVENT MYSELF?
IT'S -- IT'S TOO LATE.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

>> MMM, A BAKE SALE AND

REVEREND PUTTY.

OH, HOW HEAVENLY!

>> OH, THERE'S HE IS!

I THINK I'LL GO WALK BY HIM AND
MAKE HIS DAY.
>> Rev. Putty: HMM.

MAKE HIS DAY.
>> Rev. Putty: HMM.
THOUGHT THERE'D BE MORE WOMEN.

>> Rev. Putty: HMM.
THOUGHT THERE'D BE MORE WOMEN.
PLENTY OF SWEETS!

THOUGHT THERE'D BE MORE WOMEN.
PLENTY OF SWEETS!
I DON'T KNOW HOW JESUS STAYED

PLENTY OF SWEETS!
I DON'T KNOW HOW JESUS STAYED
SO SCRAWNY, YOU KNOW?

I DON'T KNOW HOW JESUS STAYED
SO SCRAWNY, YOU KNOW?
>> OOH! LOOK! IT SAYS "FAITH"!

SO SCRAWNY, YOU KNOW?
>> OOH! LOOK! IT SAYS "FAITH"!
HOW FUN FOR A COOKIE!

>> OOH! LOOK! IT SAYS "FAITH"!
HOW FUN FOR A COOKIE!
>> Rev. Putty: IT'S NOT A

HOW FUN FOR A COOKIE!
>> Rev. Putty: IT'S NOT A
LIBRARY, MA'AM.

>> Rev. Putty: IT'S NOT A
LIBRARY, MA'AM.
>> M-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-INE!

LIBRARY, MA'AM.
>> M-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-INE!
>> Rev. Putty: JUMPING BETSY!

>> M-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-INE!
>> Rev. Putty: JUMPING BETSY!
>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

>> Rev. Putty: JUMPING BETSY!
>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> FLORENCE, PULL YOURSELF

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> FLORENCE, PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER.

>> FLORENCE, PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER.
IT'S EMBARRASSING ENOUGH TO BE

TOGETHER.
IT'S EMBARRASSING ENOUGH TO BE
YOUR FRIEND.

IT'S EMBARRASSING ENOUGH TO BE
YOUR FRIEND.
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

YOUR FRIEND.
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
>> DOTTIE, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

>> [ SOBBING ]
BOO H-H-H-H-H-H-HOO!

>> Rev. Putty: WELL, AS YOU ALL

KNOW, NEXT WEEK IS...

EASTER!

A BIG HOLIDAY FOR CHRISTIANS.
YEAH, CHRISTMAS IS NICE AND FUN
AND CHRISTMASY, BUT EASTER!

YEAH, CHRISTMAS IS NICE AND FUN
AND CHRISTMASY, BUT EASTER!
THAT'S WHAT SETS US APART FROM

AND CHRISTMASY, BUT EASTER!
THAT'S WHAT SETS US APART FROM
THE MUSLIMS.

THAT'S WHAT SETS US APART FROM
THE MUSLIMS.
IT IS LITERALLY THE THING --

THE MUSLIMS.
IT IS LITERALLY THE THING --
BESIDES THE LACK OF TURBANS AND

IT IS LITERALLY THE THING --
BESIDES THE LACK OF TURBANS AND
THE GOBBA-GOO LANGUAGE -- THAT

BESIDES THE LACK OF TURBANS AND
THE GOBBA-GOO LANGUAGE -- THAT
DEFINES CHRISTIANITY.

THE GOBBA-GOO LANGUAGE -- THAT
DEFINES CHRISTIANITY.
EASTER MADE JESUS WHO HE IS

DEFINES CHRISTIANITY.
EASTER MADE JESUS WHO HE IS
TODAY -- A REAL CHIP OFF THE O''

EASTER MADE JESUS WHO HE IS
TODAY -- A REAL CHIP OFF THE O''
BLOCK.

TODAY -- A REAL CHIP OFF THE O''
BLOCK.
LET ME EXPLAIN HOW...

BLOCK.
LET ME EXPLAIN HOW...
[ ENGINE REVS ]

DON'T WORRY!
YOU'RE PERFECTLY SAFE!
>> I KNOW, REVEREND.

YOU'RE PERFECTLY SAFE!
>> I KNOW, REVEREND.
>> Rev. Putty: CALL ME

>> I KNOW, REVEREND.
>> Rev. Putty: CALL ME
"RO-O-O-O-O-D"!

>> Rev. Putty: CALL ME
"RO-O-O-O-O-D"!
>> OOH-OOH-OOH!

"RO-O-O-O-O-D"!
>> OOH-OOH-OOH!
OOH-HUH-HUH-HUH!

>> OOH-OOH-OOH!
OOH-HUH-HUH-HUH!
>> Rev. Putty: AND WHAT DO YOU

OOH-HUH-HUH-HUH!
>> Rev. Putty: AND WHAT DO YOU
THINK THEY FIND IN THE TOMB?!

>> Rev. Putty: AND WHAT DO YOU
THINK THEY FIND IN THE TOMB?!
[ ALL GASP ]

THINK THEY FIND IN THE TOMB?!
[ ALL GASP ]
>> Rev. Putty: TO BE CONTINUED

[ ALL GASP ]
>> Rev. Putty: TO BE CONTINUED
NEXT WEEK, THAT'S WHAT!

>> Rev. Putty: TO BE CONTINUED
NEXT WEEK, THAT'S WHAT!
>> All: AWW!

NEXT WEEK, THAT'S WHAT!
>> All: AWW!
>> Rev. Putty: [ LAUGHS ]

>> All: AWW!
>> Rev. Putty: [ LAUGHS ]
GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU!

>> Rev. Putty: [ LAUGHS ]
GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU!
THAT'LL GET ALL YOUR BUTTS OUT

GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU!
THAT'LL GET ALL YOUR BUTTS OUT
OF BED NEXT SUNDAY, AMEN.

THAT'LL GET ALL YOUR BUTTS OUT
OF BED NEXT SUNDAY, AMEN.
[ APPLAUSE ]

OF BED NEXT SUNDAY, AMEN.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> OOH!

[ APPLAUSE ]
>> OOH!
>> Orel: GEE, REVEREND, I HOPE

>> OOH!
>> Orel: GEE, REVEREND, I HOPE
NEXT WEEK'S SERMON IS AS

>> Orel: GEE, REVEREND, I HOPE
NEXT WEEK'S SERMON IS AS
EXCITING AS TODAY'S!

NEXT WEEK'S SERMON IS AS
EXCITING AS TODAY'S!
I HOPE IT ENDS LIKE I HOPE IT

EXCITING AS TODAY'S!
I HOPE IT ENDS LIKE I HOPE IT
WILL!

I HOPE IT ENDS LIKE I HOPE IT
WILL!
I HOPE IT'S A TRICK QUESTION

WILL!
I HOPE IT'S A TRICK QUESTION
ABOUT WHAT THEY FIND IN THE

I HOPE IT'S A TRICK QUESTION
ABOUT WHAT THEY FIND IN THE
TOMB!

ABOUT WHAT THEY FIND IN THE
TOMB!
I HOPE THAT --

TOMB!
I HOPE THAT --
>> Rev. Putty: BOY, YOU'RE FULL

I HOPE THAT --
>> Rev. Putty: BOY, YOU'RE FULL
OF HOPE, AREN'T YOU?

>> Rev. Putty: BOY, YOU'RE FULL
OF HOPE, AREN'T YOU?
>> Orel: OH, I HOPE SO!

OF HOPE, AREN'T YOU?
>> Orel: OH, I HOPE SO!
>> Rev. Putty: HUH. "HOPE."

>> Orel: OH, I HOPE SO!
>> Rev. Putty: HUH. "HOPE."
[ GUNSHOT, CRASH ]

>> Rev. Putty: HUH. "HOPE."
[ GUNSHOT, CRASH ]
>> YOU KNOW, REVEREND PUTTY, I

[ GUNSHOT, CRASH ]
>> YOU KNOW, REVEREND PUTTY, I
THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING ABOUT

>> YOU KNOW, REVEREND PUTTY, I
THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING ABOUT
YOUR FIRST NAME.

THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING ABOUT
YOUR FIRST NAME.
>> Rev. Putty: HUH?

YOUR FIRST NAME.
>> Rev. Putty: HUH?
WHAT ABOUT IT?

>> Rev. Putty: HUH?
WHAT ABOUT IT?
>> OH, WELL, IT -- IT RHYMES

WHAT ABOUT IT?
>> OH, WELL, IT -- IT RHYMES
WITH "GOD."

>> OH, WELL, IT -- IT RHYMES
WITH "GOD."
>> Rev. Putty: NO, IT D--

WITH "GOD."
>> Rev. Putty: NO, IT D--
OH, YEAH, IT DOES.

>> Rev. Putty: NO, IT D--
OH, YEAH, IT DOES.
HUH. COINCIDENCE.

OH, YEAH, IT DOES.
HUH. COINCIDENCE.
>> OH, I SEE IT MORE AS IRONIC.

HUH. COINCIDENCE.
>> OH, I SEE IT MORE AS IRONIC.
>> Rev. Putty: I'M A CLERGYMAN,

>> OH, I SEE IT MORE AS IRONIC.
>> Rev. Putty: I'M A CLERGYMAN,
LADY.

>> Rev. Putty: I'M A CLERGYMAN,
LADY.
IT'S NOT IRONIC.

LADY.
IT'S NOT IRONIC.
>> YES, BUT -- BUT YOU...FIGHT

IT'S NOT IRONIC.
>> YES, BUT -- BUT YOU...FIGHT
HIM WITH YOUR BEAUTIFULLY

>> YES, BUT -- BUT YOU...FIGHT
HIM WITH YOUR BEAUTIFULLY
PLAINTIVE WORDS.

HIM WITH YOUR BEAUTIFULLY
PLAINTIVE WORDS.
IT'S VERY, UH...

PLAINTIVE WORDS.
IT'S VERY, UH...
E-E-EROTIC.

IT'S VERY, UH...
E-E-EROTIC.
[ CREAK! ]

E-E-EROTIC.
[ CREAK! ]
>> Rev. Putty: UH...

[ CREAK! ]
>> Rev. Putty: UH...
I SHOULD...ENTER THE CHURCH NOW.

>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]

MIND IF I --

>> OH! OH! OH, NO!

UH, PLEASE, SIT -- SIT DOWN.
MM.
REVEREND...

MM.
REVEREND...
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, JUST CALL

REVEREND...
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, JUST CALL
ME "ROD."

>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, JUST CALL
ME "ROD."
UH...

ME "ROD."
UH...
>> I'M FLORENCE.

UH...
>> I'M FLORENCE.
>> Rev. Putty: LIKE THE FLOWER.

>> I'M FLORENCE.
>> Rev. Putty: LIKE THE FLOWER.
>> UM...YES.

>> Rev. Putty: LIKE THE FLOWER.
>> UM...YES.
>> Rev. Putty: SORRY, WITH SUCH

>> UM...YES.
>> Rev. Putty: SORRY, WITH SUCH
A LARGE CONGREGATION, IT'S KIND

>> Rev. Putty: SORRY, WITH SUCH
A LARGE CONGREGATION, IT'S KIND
OF TOUGH TO REMEMBER EVERYONE'S,

A LARGE CONGREGATION, IT'S KIND
OF TOUGH TO REMEMBER EVERYONE'S,
UH --

OF TOUGH TO REMEMBER EVERYONE'S,
UH --
>> I UNDERSTAND.

UH --
>> I UNDERSTAND.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]

>> I UNDERSTAND.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
[ SCRUBBING ]

>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
[ SCRUBBING ]
[ CAR APPROACHES, GEARS SHIFT ]

[ SCRUBBING ]
[ CAR APPROACHES, GEARS SHIFT ]
[ DOOR UNLOCKS ]

[ CAR APPROACHES, GEARS SHIFT ]
[ DOOR UNLOCKS ]
>> WELL, THIS IS IT!

[ DOOR UNLOCKS ]
>> WELL, THIS IS IT!
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.

>> WELL, THIS IS IT!
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
>> MAYBE I SHOULD SLIP INTO

>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
>> MAYBE I SHOULD SLIP INTO
SOMETHING MORE...

>> MAYBE I SHOULD SLIP INTO
SOMETHING MORE...
OH.

SOMETHING MORE...
OH.
[ SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]

OH.
[ SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> OH! REVEREND!

[ SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> OH! REVEREND!
>> OH, REVEREND PUTTY, THIS

>> OH! REVEREND!
>> OH, REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
IS --

>> OH, REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
IS --
>> Rev. Putty: DOTTIE, HELLO!

IS --
>> Rev. Putty: DOTTIE, HELLO!
>> YOU'VE MET.

>> Rev. Putty: DOTTIE, HELLO!
>> YOU'VE MET.
>> HAVE WE?

>> YOU'VE MET.
>> HAVE WE?
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, NOT

>> HAVE WE?
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, NOT
FORMALLY, BUT YOU'RE AT CHURCH

>> Rev. Putty: WELL, NOT
FORMALLY, BUT YOU'RE AT CHURCH
EVERY SUNDAY.

FORMALLY, BUT YOU'RE AT CHURCH
EVERY SUNDAY.
THE PLACE ISN'T EXACTLY A

EVERY SUNDAY.
THE PLACE ISN'T EXACTLY A
CATHEDRAL.

THE PLACE ISN'T EXACTLY A
CATHEDRAL.
>> [ LAUGHS ]

CATHEDRAL.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> YES, WELL, I'M JUST BRUSHING

>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> YES, WELL, I'M JUST BRUSHING
MY TEETH.

>> YES, WELL, I'M JUST BRUSHING
MY TEETH.
THEY GET SO DIRTY BY DOING

MY TEETH.
THEY GET SO DIRTY BY DOING
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, YOU KNOW,

THEY GET SO DIRTY BY DOING
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, YOU KNOW,
EATING, TALKING...

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, YOU KNOW,
EATING, TALKING...
>> Rev. Putty: YEAH.

EATING, TALKING...
>> Rev. Putty: YEAH.
WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

>> Rev. Putty: YEAH.
WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> COME WITH ME, REVEREND.

THESE ARE MY ZEBRAS!
>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.
>> DO YOU LIKE THEM?

>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.
>> DO YOU LIKE THEM?
>> Rev. Putty: UH, FLORENCE --

>> DO YOU LIKE THEM?
>> Rev. Putty: UH, FLORENCE --
>> I'M -- I'VE BEEN COLLECTING

>> Rev. Putty: UH, FLORENCE --
>> I'M -- I'VE BEEN COLLECTING
THEM SINCE I WAS 7.

>> I'M -- I'VE BEEN COLLECTING
THEM SINCE I WAS 7.
>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S SAD -- UH,

THEM SINCE I WAS 7.
>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S SAD -- UH,
I-I MEAN, NICE.

>> Rev. Putty: THAT'S SAD -- UH,
I-I MEAN, NICE.
>> MY BED HAS ZEBRA-PRINT

I-I MEAN, NICE.
>> MY BED HAS ZEBRA-PRINT
SHEETS, TOO.

>> MY BED HAS ZEBRA-PRINT
SHEETS, TOO.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.

SHEETS, TOO.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.
>> AREN'T YOU GOING TO SIT DOWN?

>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.
>> AREN'T YOU GOING TO SIT DOWN?
>> Rev. Putty: WHO, ME?

>> AREN'T YOU GOING TO SIT DOWN?
>> Rev. Putty: WHO, ME?
[ Chuckling ] OH.

>> Rev. Putty: WHO, ME?
[ Chuckling ] OH.
NO, NO, I'VE BEEN STANDING ALL

[ Chuckling ] OH.
NO, NO, I'VE BEEN STANDING ALL
DAY.

NO, NO, I'VE BEEN STANDING ALL
DAY.
>> [ GIGGLES ]

DAY.
>> [ GIGGLES ]
>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.

>> [ GIGGLES ]
>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.
>> [ GIGGLING ]

>> Rev. Putty: OH, BOY.
>> [ GIGGLING ]
>> Rev. Putty: NOT THE COLLAR.

>> [ GIGGLING ]
>> Rev. Putty: NOT THE COLLAR.
OH!

>> Rev. Putty: NOT THE COLLAR.
OH!
[ MOANING ]

OH!
[ MOANING ]
>> OH, YOU'RE NOT TICKLISH.

[ MOANING ]
>> OH, YOU'RE NOT TICKLISH.
OOH! [ GIGGLES ]

[ BED CREAKING, BOTH MOANING ]
>> Rev. Putty: OH, GOD!
[ GUNSHOTS ]

>> Rev. Putty: OH, GOD!
[ GUNSHOTS ]
HUH?! WHAT'S THE HUBBUB?!

[ GUNSHOTS ]
HUH?! WHAT'S THE HUBBUB?!
[ GUNSHOT ]

HUH?! WHAT'S THE HUBBUB?!
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> OH, GOD.

[ GUNSHOT ]
>> OH, GOD.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, GOD!

>> OH, GOD.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, GOD!
OH, GOD!

>> Rev. Putty: OH, GOD!
OH, GOD!
OH, GOD!

OH, GOD!
OH, GOD!
OH, GOD! DOTTIE!

OH, GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
>> IT'S OKAY. I-I UNDERSTAND.
>> Rev. Putty: NO, THAT'S NOT

>> IT'S OKAY. I-I UNDERSTAND.
>> Rev. Putty: NO, THAT'S NOT
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

>> Rev. Putty: NO, THAT'S NOT
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
>> [ SOBBING ]

>> Rev. Putty: "HOPE."
HOPE.
HOPE.

HOPE.
HOPE.
HOPE?

HOPE.
HOPE?
HOPE?

HOPE?
HOPE?
HOPE?

HOPE?
HOPE?
HOPE?

HOPE?
HOPE?
HOPE?

HOPE?
HOPE?
HOPE?

HOPE?
HOPE?
HOPE?

HOPE?
HOPE?
HOPE!

HOPE?
HOPE!
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

HOPE!
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
WAIT A MINUTE!

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
WAIT A MINUTE!
OREL! OREL PUPPINGTON!

WAIT A MINUTE!
OREL! OREL PUPPINGTON!
UH...

OREL! OREL PUPPINGTON!
UH...
OHH.