Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 2, Episode 2 - Love - full transcript
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
>> MINE!
OOH, FRIEND!
>> HEY, DAD, WANT TO PLAY
OOH, FRIEND!
>> HEY, DAD, WANT TO PLAY
CATCH WITH ME?
>> HEY, DAD, WANT TO PLAY
CATCH WITH ME?
>> HAS GRAVITY GONE AWAY, OREL?
CATCH WITH ME?
>> HAS GRAVITY GONE AWAY, OREL?
>> NO, SIR.
>> HAS GRAVITY GONE AWAY, OREL?
>> NO, SIR.
>> THEN DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE
>> NO, SIR.
>> THEN DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE
THE PLACE OF SOMETHING THAT
>> THEN DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE
THE PLACE OF SOMETHING THAT
THE GOOD LORD HAS ALREADY
THE PLACE OF SOMETHING THAT
THE GOOD LORD HAS ALREADY
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
THE GOOD LORD HAS ALREADY
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
>> OK...
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
>> OK...
[BEEPING]
CATCH, GOD!
GOOD ARM!
NICE THROW.
GOOD ARM!
NICE THROW.
GO ONE LONG!
NICE THROW.
GO ONE LONG!
UGH.
GO ONE LONG!
UGH.
[BARKS]
UGH.
[BARKS]
HEY!
[BARKS]
HEY!
GOOD CATCH!
HEY!
GOOD CATCH!
[LAUGHS]
GOOD CATCH!
[LAUGHS]
AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
[LAUGHS]
AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
GEE.
AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
GEE.
I DON'T SEE ANY IDENTIFICATION.
GEE.
I DON'T SEE ANY IDENTIFICATION.
[GIGGLES]
I DON'T SEE ANY IDENTIFICATION.
[GIGGLES]
DAD!
[GIGGLES]
DAD!
>> HEY, DON'T BOTHER ME, SON.
DAD!
>> HEY, DON'T BOTHER ME, SON.
HEADS UP!
>> HEY, DON'T BOTHER ME, SON.
HEADS UP!
>> MOM!
HEADS UP!
>> MOM!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
>> MOM!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
>> OREL, YOU KNOW THAT LIVING
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
>> OREL, YOU KNOW THAT LIVING
ANIMALS AREN'T ALLOWED NEAR
>> OREL, YOU KNOW THAT LIVING
ANIMALS AREN'T ALLOWED NEAR
THE DELICIOUS ONES.
ANIMALS AREN'T ALLOWED NEAR
THE DELICIOUS ONES.
>> I WANT TO KEEP HIM AS A PET.
THE DELICIOUS ONES.
>> I WANT TO KEEP HIM AS A PET.
>> NONSENSE.
>> I WANT TO KEEP HIM AS A PET.
>> NONSENSE.
YOU ALREADY HAVE SHAPEY.
>> NONSENSE.
YOU ALREADY HAVE SHAPEY.
>> CAKE!
YOU ALREADY HAVE SHAPEY.
>> CAKE!
>> BUT I WANT SOMETHING THAT'S
>> CAKE!
>> BUT I WANT SOMETHING THAT'S
CUTE AND THAT LOVES ME--
>> BUT I WANT SOMETHING THAT'S
CUTE AND THAT LOVES ME--
>> [SCREAMS]
CUTE AND THAT LOVES ME--
>> [SCREAMS]
>> AND THAT LICKS MY FACE.
>> [SCREAMS]
>> AND THAT LICKS MY FACE.
>> YUMMY!
>> AND THAT LICKS MY FACE.
>> YUMMY!
>> CAN I KEEP HIM, MOM?
>> YUMMY!
>> CAN I KEEP HIM, MOM?
PLEASE?
>> CAN I KEEP HIM, MOM?
PLEASE?
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY IF
PLEASE?
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY IF
IT'LL STOP YOU FROM ASKING ME
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY IF
IT'LL STOP YOU FROM ASKING ME
QUESTIONS.
IT'LL STOP YOU FROM ASKING ME
QUESTIONS.
>> GEE, THANKS!
QUESTIONS.
>> GEE, THANKS!
>> NOW SPRAY YOUR HANDS.
>> GEE, THANKS!
>> NOW SPRAY YOUR HANDS.
WE'RE EATING SOON.
>> NOW SPRAY YOUR HANDS.
WE'RE EATING SOON.
[BARKS]
WE'RE EATING SOON.
[BARKS]
>> OK, LITTLE GUY, THIS IS YOUR
[BARKS]
>> OK, LITTLE GUY, THIS IS YOUR
NEW HOME.
>> OK, LITTLE GUY, THIS IS YOUR
NEW HOME.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
NEW HOME.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
YOU NEED A NAME.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
YOU NEED A NAME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
YOU NEED A NAME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
CALL YOU?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
CALL YOU?
[BARKING "JESUS"]
>> THAT'S IT!
BARTHOLOMEW!
ONE OF OUR LORD'S LESSER KNOWN,
BARTHOLOMEW!
ONE OF OUR LORD'S LESSER KNOWN,
YET VERY IMPORTANT DISCIPLES!
ONE OF OUR LORD'S LESSER KNOWN,
YET VERY IMPORTANT DISCIPLES!
[WHIMPERS]
YET VERY IMPORTANT DISCIPLES!
[WHIMPERS]
TIME FOR SOME TRAINING,
[WHIMPERS]
TIME FOR SOME TRAINING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
TIME FOR SOME TRAINING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
PLAY DEAD!
BARTHOLOMEW.
PLAY DEAD!
WOW, FAST LEARNER.
PLAY DEAD!
WOW, FAST LEARNER.
NOW, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE
WOW, FAST LEARNER.
NOW, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE
TOUGHER...
NOW, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE
TOUGHER...
PLAY LAZARUS!
TOUGHER...
PLAY LAZARUS!
[BARKS]
PLAY LAZARUS!
[BARKS]
AMAZING!
[BARKS]
AMAZING!
GOOD DOG!
AMAZING!
GOOD DOG!
HERE'S A REAL TRICKY-TRICK.
GOOD DOG!
HERE'S A REAL TRICKY-TRICK.
FIRST BOOK OF SAMUEL,
HERE'S A REAL TRICKY-TRICK.
FIRST BOOK OF SAMUEL,
CHAPTER 17, VERSE...
FIRST BOOK OF SAMUEL,
CHAPTER 17, VERSE...
YEP, THAT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH,
CHAPTER 17, VERSE...
YEP, THAT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH,
ALL RIGHT.
YEP, THAT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH,
ALL RIGHT.
GOSH, BARTHOLOMEW, COMPARED
ALL RIGHT.
GOSH, BARTHOLOMEW, COMPARED
TO YOU, LASSIE WAS A HEATHEN.
GOSH, BARTHOLOMEW, COMPARED
TO YOU, LASSIE WAS A HEATHEN.
>> HEY, OREL.
TO YOU, LASSIE WAS A HEATHEN.
>> HEY, OREL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT
>> HEY, OREL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT
STUPID, UGLY DOG?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT
STUPID, UGLY DOG?
>> OH, HI, JOE.
STUPID, UGLY DOG?
>> OH, HI, JOE.
THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW!
>> OH, HI, JOE.
THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW!
I'M JUST TEACHING HIM
THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW!
I'M JUST TEACHING HIM
A FEW TRICKS.
I'M JUST TEACHING HIM
A FEW TRICKS.
>> HEY!
A FEW TRICKS.
>> HEY!
GET LOST, MUTT!
>> HEY!
GET LOST, MUTT!
AND NOW WHAT DOES HE THINK
GET LOST, MUTT!
AND NOW WHAT DOES HE THINK
HE'S DOING?
AND NOW WHAT DOES HE THINK
HE'S DOING?
>> TRAINED HIM TO TURN
HE'S DOING?
>> TRAINED HIM TO TURN
THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> TRAINED HIM TO TURN
THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> LOUSY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK...
THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> LOUSY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK...
WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?
>> LOUSY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK...
WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BIT ME,
WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BIT ME,
STUPID DOG!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BIT ME,
STUPID DOG!
>> OK, BARTHOLOMEW--
STUPID DOG!
>> OK, BARTHOLOMEW--
PREACH!
>> OK, BARTHOLOMEW--
PREACH!
PREACH!
PREACH!
PREACH!
[RUFF]
PREACH!
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
>> ROUGH, ROUGH, ROUGH,
[RUFF]
>> ROUGH, ROUGH, ROUGH,
ROUGH.
>> ROUGH, ROUGH, ROUGH,
ROUGH.
IT'S ROUGH IN HELL.
ROUGH.
IT'S ROUGH IN HELL.
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY SERMON,
IT'S ROUGH IN HELL.
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY SERMON,
YOU WILL AVOID THE BLAZING PIT.
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY SERMON,
YOU WILL AVOID THE BLAZING PIT.
FOR TODAY'S LESSON IS ABOUT
YOU WILL AVOID THE BLAZING PIT.
FOR TODAY'S LESSON IS ABOUT
SOMETHING THAT I DON'T GET
FOR TODAY'S LESSON IS ABOUT
SOMETHING THAT I DON'T GET
TO TALK A LOT ABOUT UP HERE:
SOMETHING THAT I DON'T GET
TO TALK A LOT ABOUT UP HERE:
LOVE.
TO TALK A LOT ABOUT UP HERE:
LOVE.
SURE, IT'S EASY TO PREACH WHEN
LOVE.
SURE, IT'S EASY TO PREACH WHEN
YOU GOT FEAR AND GOD'S RELIABLE
SURE, IT'S EASY TO PREACH WHEN
YOU GOT FEAR AND GOD'S RELIABLE
SPINE-CHILLING WRATH ON
YOU GOT FEAR AND GOD'S RELIABLE
SPINE-CHILLING WRATH ON
YOUR SIDE, BUT LOVE?
SPINE-CHILLING WRATH ON
YOUR SIDE, BUT LOVE?
HOW CAN WE APPLY LOVE TO
YOUR SIDE, BUT LOVE?
HOW CAN WE APPLY LOVE TO
OUR FAITH?
HOW CAN WE APPLY LOVE TO
OUR FAITH?
ANYBODY?
OUR FAITH?
ANYBODY?
NOPE, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.
ANYBODY?
NOPE, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.
AND HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
NOPE, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.
AND HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
LOVE JESUS.
AND HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
LOVE JESUS.
GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE JESUS
LOVE JESUS.
GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE JESUS
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN
GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE JESUS
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN
THE WORLD.
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN
THE WORLD.
MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.
THE WORLD.
MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FATHER.
MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FATHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.
MORE THAN YOUR FATHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.
AND, YES, EVEN MORE THAN MONEY.
MORE THAN YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.
AND, YES, EVEN MORE THAN MONEY.
>> [GASPING]
AND, YES, EVEN MORE THAN MONEY.
>> [GASPING]
>> FOR JESUS IS GREATER THAN ALL
>> [GASPING]
>> FOR JESUS IS GREATER THAN ALL
THESE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
>> FOR JESUS IS GREATER THAN ALL
THESE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
AND IF YOU PRAY TO HIM,
THESE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
AND IF YOU PRAY TO HIM,
HE CAN GET YOU MONEY,
AND IF YOU PRAY TO HIM,
HE CAN GET YOU MONEY,
SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.
HE CAN GET YOU MONEY,
SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.
AMEN?
SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.
AMEN?
>> AMEN!
AMEN?
>> AMEN!
>> AND TODAY AS YOU LEAVE,
>> AMEN!
>> AND TODAY AS YOU LEAVE,
I WILL BE HANDING OUT FREE GIFTS
>> AND TODAY AS YOU LEAVE,
I WILL BE HANDING OUT FREE GIFTS
TO INSPIRE YOU IN YOUR DAY.
I WILL BE HANDING OUT FREE GIFTS
TO INSPIRE YOU IN YOUR DAY.
I THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS WILL
TO INSPIRE YOU IN YOUR DAY.
I THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS WILL
ESPECIALLY GET A KICK
I THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS WILL
ESPECIALLY GET A KICK
OUT OF THEM.
ESPECIALLY GET A KICK
OUT OF THEM.
>> WELL, WHAT A FLATTERING SHOT,
OUT OF THEM.
>> WELL, WHAT A FLATTERING SHOT,
REVEREND.
>> WELL, WHAT A FLATTERING SHOT,
REVEREND.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
REVEREND.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, KIDS, ONE AT A TIME.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, KIDS, ONE AT A TIME.
PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
OK, KIDS, ONE AT A TIME.
PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
[BARKING]
PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
[BARKING]
>> DOGGIE!
[BARKING]
>> DOGGIE!
>> WATCHA GOT THERE, REVEREND?
>> DOGGIE!
>> WATCHA GOT THERE, REVEREND?
>> HUH? OH, HERE.
>> WATCHA GOT THERE, REVEREND?
>> HUH? OH, HERE.
>> WOW!
>> HUH? OH, HERE.
>> WOW!
NEAT!
>> WOW!
NEAT!
HOW MUCH IS IT?
NEAT!
HOW MUCH IS IT?
>> GRATIS.
HOW MUCH IS IT?
>> GRATIS.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
>> GRATIS.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THAT DOG, OREL?
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THAT DOG, OREL?
>> OH, YEAH.
THAT DOG, OREL?
>> OH, YEAH.
THAT'S MY DOG, BARTHOLOMEW.
>> OH, YEAH.
THAT'S MY DOG, BARTHOLOMEW.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
THAT'S MY DOG, BARTHOLOMEW.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
THANKS, REVEREND!
ISN'T HE CUTE?
THANKS, REVEREND!
>> DON'T FORGET YOUR
THANKS, REVEREND!
>> DON'T FORGET YOUR
INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS, KIDS!
>> DON'T FORGET YOUR
INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS, KIDS!
[GROWLS]
INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS, KIDS!
[GROWLS]
>> IN SHORT, YOUR LITTLE BOBBY
[GROWLS]
>> IN SHORT, YOUR LITTLE BOBBY
IS EXTREMELY CREATIVE AND
>> IN SHORT, YOUR LITTLE BOBBY
IS EXTREMELY CREATIVE AND
A FREE THINKER, SO THEREFORE
IS EXTREMELY CREATIVE AND
A FREE THINKER, SO THEREFORE
HE'S SUSPENDED FOR 3 WEEKS.
A FREE THINKER, SO THEREFORE
HE'S SUSPENDED FOR 3 WEEKS.
[BELL RINGS]
HE'S SUSPENDED FOR 3 WEEKS.
[BELL RINGS]
UGH, THAT'S RECESS.
[BELL RINGS]
UGH, THAT'S RECESS.
>> THE FIRST DAY THE KIDS GET
UGH, THAT'S RECESS.
>> THE FIRST DAY THE KIDS GET
TO USE THE NEW JESUSLAND
>> THE FIRST DAY THE KIDS GET
TO USE THE NEW JESUSLAND
PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT.
TO USE THE NEW JESUSLAND
PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT.
>> HMM.
PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT.
>> HMM.
SPENT A FRACTION OF THE SCHOOL
>> HMM.
SPENT A FRACTION OF THE SCHOOL
BUDGET ON THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS.
SPENT A FRACTION OF THE SCHOOL
BUDGET ON THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS.
THEY'D BETTER APPRECIATE IT.
[GROWLS]
>> NOW, BE A GOOD GIRL, SUZY,
AND WALK FOR ME.
>> NOW, BE A GOOD GIRL, SUZY,
AND WALK FOR ME.
>> [CRIES]
AND WALK FOR ME.
>> [CRIES]
NO!
>> [CRIES]
NO!
>> MR. AND MRS. FIGURELLI,
NO!
>> MR. AND MRS. FIGURELLI,
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING PHYSICALLY
>> MR. AND MRS. FIGURELLI,
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING PHYSICALLY
WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING PHYSICALLY
WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT IT'S
WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT IT'S
JESUS' WILL THAT SHE NEVER
WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT IT'S
JESUS' WILL THAT SHE NEVER
WALKS AGAIN.
JESUS' WILL THAT SHE NEVER
WALKS AGAIN.
>> LA, LA, LA, LA!
>> HI, DR. POTTERSWHEEL!
JUST CAME BY TO CHEER UP
THE PATIENTS!
JUST CAME BY TO CHEER UP
THE PATIENTS!
>> [GROWLS]
THE PATIENTS!
>> [GROWLS]
>> HURRY, OREL.
>> [GROWLS]
>> HURRY, OREL.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
>> HURRY, OREL.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
BIBLE YOUTH FUN CLUB.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
BIBLE YOUTH FUN CLUB.
YOU KNOW HOW INTOLERANT THEY
BIBLE YOUTH FUN CLUB.
YOU KNOW HOW INTOLERANT THEY
CAN ALL BE.
YOU KNOW HOW INTOLERANT THEY
CAN ALL BE.
>> I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE,
CAN ALL BE.
>> I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE,
DOUGHY.
>> I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE,
DOUGHY.
[WHIMPERING]
DOUGHY.
[WHIMPERING]
>> YOU HAVE DOZENS OF THEM
[WHIMPERING]
>> YOU HAVE DOZENS OF THEM
THERE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.
>> YOU HAVE DOZENS OF THEM
THERE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.
>> YEAH, BUT NONE OF THOSE IS
THERE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.
>> YEAH, BUT NONE OF THOSE IS
MY LUCKY BIBLE.
>> YEAH, BUT NONE OF THOSE IS
MY LUCKY BIBLE.
BARTHOLOMEW, PLEASE!
MY LUCKY BIBLE.
BARTHOLOMEW, PLEASE!
OH, IT'S NO USE.
BARTHOLOMEW, PLEASE!
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I'LL NEVER FIND IT.
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I'LL NEVER FIND IT.
[WHIMPERS]
I'LL NEVER FIND IT.
[WHIMPERS]
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO
[WHIMPERS]
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO
USE OL' GOSPY.
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO
USE OL' GOSPY.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
USE OL' GOSPY.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH.
ME OREL, ME OREL!
BLAH, BLAH.
ME OREL, ME OREL!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, JESUS!
ME OREL, ME OREL!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, JESUS!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SINNER!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, JESUS!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SINNER!
[BARKS]
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SINNER!
[BARKS]
[SCREAMS]
[BARKS]
[SCREAMS]
>> MY LUCKY BIBLE!
[SCREAMS]
>> MY LUCKY BIBLE!
YOU FOUND IT!
>> MY LUCKY BIBLE!
YOU FOUND IT!
OH, BARTHOLOMEW,
YOU FOUND IT!
OH, BARTHOLOMEW,
YOU'RE THE BEST!
OH, BARTHOLOMEW,
YOU'RE THE BEST!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
YOU'RE THE BEST!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
WHY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
WHY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
WHY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
>> GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
>> GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
>> GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD...
JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD...
["WORLD" ECHOES]
IN THE WORLD...
["WORLD" ECHOES]
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, OREL?
["WORLD" ECHOES]
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, OREL?
>> THIS ISN'T GOOD, DOUGHY.
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, OREL?
>> THIS ISN'T GOOD, DOUGHY.
>> IT ISN'T?
>> THIS ISN'T GOOD, DOUGHY.
>> IT ISN'T?
THAT'S NOT GOOD!
>> IT ISN'T?
THAT'S NOT GOOD!
>> I THINK I LOVE BARTHOLOMEW
THAT'S NOT GOOD!
>> I THINK I LOVE BARTHOLOMEW
MORE THAN JESUS.
>> I THINK I LOVE BARTHOLOMEW
MORE THAN JESUS.
>> YIKES!
MORE THAN JESUS.
>> YIKES!
>> YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
>> YIKES!
>> YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
>> BUT--
>> YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
>> BUT--
THAT'S A SIN!
>> BUT--
THAT'S A SIN!
>> I KNOW.
THAT'S A SIN!
>> I KNOW.
I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO
>> I KNOW.
I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO LOVE
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN A DOG.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN A DOG.
>> HMM...
SON OF A...
HMM?
[GROANING SOFTLY]
[MOANING]
[KNOCKING]
Y'ELLO!
[KNOCKING]
Y'ELLO!
>> HEY, DAD.
Y'ELLO!
>> HEY, DAD.
>> WHAT'S UP, REAL SON OF MINE?
>> HEY, DAD.
>> WHAT'S UP, REAL SON OF MINE?
>> HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM LOVING
>> WHAT'S UP, REAL SON OF MINE?
>> HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM LOVING
SOMEONE TOO MUCH?
>> HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM LOVING
SOMEONE TOO MUCH?
>> GLAD YOU ASKED, OREL.
SOMEONE TOO MUCH?
>> GLAD YOU ASKED, OREL.
LOVE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL,
>> GLAD YOU ASKED, OREL.
LOVE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL,
VERY INTENSE FEELING FOR
LOVE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL,
VERY INTENSE FEELING FOR
A STARTLINGLY SHORT PERIOD
VERY INTENSE FEELING FOR
A STARTLINGLY SHORT PERIOD
OF TIME.
A STARTLINGLY SHORT PERIOD
OF TIME.
BEFORE LONG YOU REALIZE IT
OF TIME.
BEFORE LONG YOU REALIZE IT
JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE REAL
BEFORE LONG YOU REALIZE IT
JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE REAL
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE REAL
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
LIKE JUST GOING TO SLEEP OR
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
LIKE JUST GOING TO SLEEP OR
BEING LEFT ALONE.
LIKE JUST GOING TO SLEEP OR
BEING LEFT ALONE.
THAT'S WHEN LOVE STARTS FADING
BEING LEFT ALONE.
THAT'S WHEN LOVE STARTS FADING
AND LIES KICK IN.
THAT'S WHEN LOVE STARTS FADING
AND LIES KICK IN.
>> BUT HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY
AND LIES KICK IN.
>> BUT HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY
TAKE FOR LOVE TO FADE?
>> BUT HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY
TAKE FOR LOVE TO FADE?
>> OH, QUICKER THAN YOU THINK,
TAKE FOR LOVE TO FADE?
>> OH, QUICKER THAN YOU THINK,
KID.
>> OH, QUICKER THAN YOU THINK,
KID.
QUICKER THAN YOU THINK.
>> OK, BOY, LET'S JUST WAIT
FOR THIS LOVE TO FADE.
[GIGGLES]
OH!
I KNOW!
I'LL READ MORE ABOUT JESUS
I KNOW!
I'LL READ MORE ABOUT JESUS
AND MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL SURELY
I'LL READ MORE ABOUT JESUS
AND MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL SURELY
GROW EVEN STRONGER.
AND MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL SURELY
GROW EVEN STRONGER.
THEN, I WON'T HAVE TO LOVE
GROW EVEN STRONGER.
THEN, I WON'T HAVE TO LOVE
YOU LESS.
THEN, I WON'T HAVE TO LOVE
YOU LESS.
"I SAY UNTO YOU, LOVE THINE
YOU LESS.
"I SAY UNTO YOU, LOVE THINE
ENEMIES."
"I SAY UNTO YOU, LOVE THINE
ENEMIES."
YEAH...
ENEMIES."
YEAH...
>> HATE, HATE, HATE!
YEAH...
>> HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS PUT ON WEIGHT!
>> HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS PUT ON WEIGHT!
HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS PUT ON WEIGHT!
HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS--
HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS--
>> BOO!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS--
>> BOO!
GOD HATES YOU, FATTY!
>> BOO!
GOD HATES YOU, FATTY!
GOD HATES YOU!
GOD HATES YOU, FATTY!
GOD HATES YOU!
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL,
GOD HATES YOU!
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL,
>> AWW...
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL,
>> AWW...
"SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN."
>> AWW...
"SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN."
GOOD OL' JESUS!
"SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN."
GOOD OL' JESUS!
>> DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO QUIT
GOOD OL' JESUS!
>> DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO QUIT
ASKING ME THAT?
>> DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO QUIT
ASKING ME THAT?
>> BUT I MISS DADDY!
ASKING ME THAT?
>> BUT I MISS DADDY!
>> HERE'S YOUR DADDY!
>> BUT I MISS DADDY!
>> HERE'S YOUR DADDY!
>> [CRYING]
>> HERE'S YOUR DADDY!
>> [CRYING]
>> OH, YOU'RE JUST NOT HELPING,
>> [CRYING]
>> OH, YOU'RE JUST NOT HELPING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
>> OH, YOU'RE JUST NOT HELPING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
I BET IF JESUS WERE HERE,
BARTHOLOMEW.
I BET IF JESUS WERE HERE,
EVEN HE WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN
I BET IF JESUS WERE HERE,
EVEN HE WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN
HE LOVES HIMSELF.
EVEN HE WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN
HE LOVES HIMSELF.
"THE SON OF MAN WILL BE
HE LOVES HIMSELF.
"THE SON OF MAN WILL BE
DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN,
"THE SON OF MAN WILL BE
DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN,
AND THEY WILL KILL HIM."
DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN,
AND THEY WILL KILL HIM."
>> THERE HE IS!
AND THEY WILL KILL HIM."
>> THERE HE IS!
>> DOUGHY!
>> THERE HE IS!
>> DOUGHY!
YOU JUDASED ME.
>> DOUGHY!
YOU JUDASED ME.
>> SORRY, OREL.
YOU JUDASED ME.
>> SORRY, OREL.
I HAD TO.
>> SORRY, OREL.
I HAD TO.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
I HAD TO.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
BURN IN HELL.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
BURN IN HELL.
YOU LOVE THAT DOG MORE THAN
BURN IN HELL.
YOU LOVE THAT DOG MORE THAN
J-JESUS!
YOU LOVE THAT DOG MORE THAN
J-JESUS!
>> WHAT ARE MY SERMON'S
J-JESUS!
>> WHAT ARE MY SERMON'S
TO YOU, OREL?
>> WHAT ARE MY SERMON'S
TO YOU, OREL?
CHINESE EAR FOOD?
TO YOU, OREL?
CHINESE EAR FOOD?
HUNGRY ALREADY?
CHINESE EAR FOOD?
HUNGRY ALREADY?
>> NO, REVEREND.
HUNGRY ALREADY?
>> NO, REVEREND.
>> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
>> NO, REVEREND.
>> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
>> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
YOUNG MAN.
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
YOUNG MAN.
>> YES, DAD.
YOUNG MAN.
>> YES, DAD.
>> THEN DO THE RIGHT THING.
>> BARTHOLOMEW, I LOVE YOU MORE
THAN JESUS MORE THAN EVER...
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
THAN JESUS MORE THAN EVER...
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
OK, DAD.
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
OK, DAD.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE
OK, DAD.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE
BARTHOLOMEW UP.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE
BARTHOLOMEW UP.
>> GOOD.
BARTHOLOMEW UP.
>> GOOD.
HAND HIM OVER TO
>> GOOD.
HAND HIM OVER TO
DR. POTTERSWHEEL.
HAND HIM OVER TO
DR. POTTERSWHEEL.
HE HAS A SHOT FOR HIM THAT WILL
DR. POTTERSWHEEL.
HE HAS A SHOT FOR HIM THAT WILL
BE VIRTUALLY PAINLESS.
HE HAS A SHOT FOR HIM THAT WILL
BE VIRTUALLY PAINLESS.
RIGHT, DOC?
BE VIRTUALLY PAINLESS.
RIGHT, DOC?
>> WELL, I'M NO VET, BUT THEN
RIGHT, DOC?
>> WELL, I'M NO VET, BUT THEN
AGAIN I'M ONLY GONNA KILL IT.
>> WELL, I'M NO VET, BUT THEN
AGAIN I'M ONLY GONNA KILL IT.
>> GEE, DAD, DOES HE HAVE TO
AGAIN I'M ONLY GONNA KILL IT.
>> GEE, DAD, DOES HE HAVE TO
DIE?
>> GEE, DAD, DOES HE HAVE TO
DIE?
>> WITH ALL THAT LOVE BEING
DIE?
>> WITH ALL THAT LOVE BEING
SPREAD EVERYWHERE, THIS DOG IS
>> WITH ALL THAT LOVE BEING
SPREAD EVERYWHERE, THIS DOG IS
DANGEROUS.
SPREAD EVERYWHERE, THIS DOG IS
DANGEROUS.
>> UM...
DANGEROUS.
>> UM...
WELL, MY OFFICE IS ALL THE WAY
>> UM...
WELL, MY OFFICE IS ALL THE WAY
UP THAT HILL THERE.
WELL, MY OFFICE IS ALL THE WAY
UP THAT HILL THERE.
[THUNDER]
>> "THE ANGEL SAID TO THE WOMEN,
DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I KNOW
THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS,
DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I KNOW
THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS,
WHO HAS RISEN."
THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS,
WHO HAS RISEN."
OF COURSE!
WHO HAS RISEN."
OF COURSE!
HALLELUJAH!
OF COURSE!
HALLELUJAH!
[WHISTLES HALLELUJAH CHORUS
HALLELUJAH!
[WHISTLES HALLELUJAH CHORUS
FROM HANDEL'S "MESSIAH"]
>> HMM.
FOR A BOY WHOSE DOG WAS JUST
DESTROYED, YOU'RE PRETTY
FOR A BOY WHOSE DOG WAS JUST
DESTROYED, YOU'RE PRETTY
CHIPPER, OREL.
DESTROYED, YOU'RE PRETTY
CHIPPER, OREL.
>> WELL...
CHIPPER, OREL.
>> WELL...
I CAN'T BE TOO SAD.
>> WELL...
I CAN'T BE TOO SAD.
AT LEAST ONE DAY I KNOW I'LL SEE
I CAN'T BE TOO SAD.
AT LEAST ONE DAY I KNOW I'LL SEE
BARTHOLOMEW IN HEAVEN!
AT LEAST ONE DAY I KNOW I'LL SEE
BARTHOLOMEW IN HEAVEN!
>> OH, OREL, ANIMALS AREN'T
BARTHOLOMEW IN HEAVEN!
>> OH, OREL, ANIMALS AREN'T
ALLOWED IN HEAVEN.
>> OH, OREL, ANIMALS AREN'T
ALLOWED IN HEAVEN.
>> THEY AREN'T?
ALLOWED IN HEAVEN.
>> THEY AREN'T?
>> OF COURSE NOT.
>> THEY AREN'T?
>> OF COURSE NOT.
>> DOES THAT MEAN BARTHOLOMEW IS
>> OF COURSE NOT.
>> DOES THAT MEAN BARTHOLOMEW IS
GOING TO BURN IN HELL?!
>> DOES THAT MEAN BARTHOLOMEW IS
GOING TO BURN IN HELL?!
>> MM-MMM.
GOING TO BURN IN HELL?!
>> MM-MMM.
NOT THAT EITHER.
>> MM-MMM.
NOT THAT EITHER.
YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE NO SOULS
NOT THAT EITHER.
YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE NO SOULS
WHATSOEVER.
YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE NO SOULS
WHATSOEVER.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TASTY
WHATSOEVER.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TASTY
WHEN WE EAT AND DRINK THEM.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TASTY
WHEN WE EAT AND DRINK THEM.
>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T GOD
WHEN WE EAT AND DRINK THEM.
>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T GOD
GIVE 'EM A SOUL?
>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T GOD
GIVE 'EM A SOUL?
>> BECAUSE THAT WOULD GO AGAINST
GIVE 'EM A SOUL?
>> BECAUSE THAT WOULD GO AGAINST
THE BIBLE.
>> BECAUSE THAT WOULD GO AGAINST
THE BIBLE.
AND NOT EVEN GOD CAN DO THAT.
THE BIBLE.
AND NOT EVEN GOD CAN DO THAT.
>> BUT--
AND NOT EVEN GOD CAN DO THAT.
>> BUT--
>> RULES ARE RULES!
>> BUT--
>> RULES ARE RULES!
[SQUEALING]
>> RULES ARE RULES!
[SQUEALING]
>> MMM!
[SQUEALING]
>> MMM!
SOMETHING SOUNDS DELICIOUS!
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
[SHUTTER CLICKING]
>> HELLO, GOOD-BYE.
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
>> MINE!
OOH, FRIEND!
>> HEY, DAD, WANT TO PLAY
OOH, FRIEND!
>> HEY, DAD, WANT TO PLAY
CATCH WITH ME?
>> HEY, DAD, WANT TO PLAY
CATCH WITH ME?
>> HAS GRAVITY GONE AWAY, OREL?
CATCH WITH ME?
>> HAS GRAVITY GONE AWAY, OREL?
>> NO, SIR.
>> HAS GRAVITY GONE AWAY, OREL?
>> NO, SIR.
>> THEN DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE
>> NO, SIR.
>> THEN DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE
THE PLACE OF SOMETHING THAT
>> THEN DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE
THE PLACE OF SOMETHING THAT
THE GOOD LORD HAS ALREADY
THE PLACE OF SOMETHING THAT
THE GOOD LORD HAS ALREADY
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
THE GOOD LORD HAS ALREADY
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
>> OK...
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
>> OK...
[BEEPING]
CATCH, GOD!
GOOD ARM!
NICE THROW.
GOOD ARM!
NICE THROW.
GO ONE LONG!
NICE THROW.
GO ONE LONG!
UGH.
GO ONE LONG!
UGH.
[BARKS]
UGH.
[BARKS]
HEY!
[BARKS]
HEY!
GOOD CATCH!
HEY!
GOOD CATCH!
[LAUGHS]
GOOD CATCH!
[LAUGHS]
AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
[LAUGHS]
AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
GEE.
AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
GEE.
I DON'T SEE ANY IDENTIFICATION.
GEE.
I DON'T SEE ANY IDENTIFICATION.
[GIGGLES]
I DON'T SEE ANY IDENTIFICATION.
[GIGGLES]
DAD!
[GIGGLES]
DAD!
>> HEY, DON'T BOTHER ME, SON.
DAD!
>> HEY, DON'T BOTHER ME, SON.
HEADS UP!
>> HEY, DON'T BOTHER ME, SON.
HEADS UP!
>> MOM!
HEADS UP!
>> MOM!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
>> MOM!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
>> OREL, YOU KNOW THAT LIVING
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
>> OREL, YOU KNOW THAT LIVING
ANIMALS AREN'T ALLOWED NEAR
>> OREL, YOU KNOW THAT LIVING
ANIMALS AREN'T ALLOWED NEAR
THE DELICIOUS ONES.
ANIMALS AREN'T ALLOWED NEAR
THE DELICIOUS ONES.
>> I WANT TO KEEP HIM AS A PET.
THE DELICIOUS ONES.
>> I WANT TO KEEP HIM AS A PET.
>> NONSENSE.
>> I WANT TO KEEP HIM AS A PET.
>> NONSENSE.
YOU ALREADY HAVE SHAPEY.
>> NONSENSE.
YOU ALREADY HAVE SHAPEY.
>> CAKE!
YOU ALREADY HAVE SHAPEY.
>> CAKE!
>> BUT I WANT SOMETHING THAT'S
>> CAKE!
>> BUT I WANT SOMETHING THAT'S
CUTE AND THAT LOVES ME--
>> BUT I WANT SOMETHING THAT'S
CUTE AND THAT LOVES ME--
>> [SCREAMS]
CUTE AND THAT LOVES ME--
>> [SCREAMS]
>> AND THAT LICKS MY FACE.
>> [SCREAMS]
>> AND THAT LICKS MY FACE.
>> YUMMY!
>> AND THAT LICKS MY FACE.
>> YUMMY!
>> CAN I KEEP HIM, MOM?
>> YUMMY!
>> CAN I KEEP HIM, MOM?
PLEASE?
>> CAN I KEEP HIM, MOM?
PLEASE?
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY IF
PLEASE?
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY IF
IT'LL STOP YOU FROM ASKING ME
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY IF
IT'LL STOP YOU FROM ASKING ME
QUESTIONS.
IT'LL STOP YOU FROM ASKING ME
QUESTIONS.
>> GEE, THANKS!
QUESTIONS.
>> GEE, THANKS!
>> NOW SPRAY YOUR HANDS.
>> GEE, THANKS!
>> NOW SPRAY YOUR HANDS.
WE'RE EATING SOON.
>> NOW SPRAY YOUR HANDS.
WE'RE EATING SOON.
[BARKS]
WE'RE EATING SOON.
[BARKS]
>> OK, LITTLE GUY, THIS IS YOUR
[BARKS]
>> OK, LITTLE GUY, THIS IS YOUR
NEW HOME.
>> OK, LITTLE GUY, THIS IS YOUR
NEW HOME.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
NEW HOME.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
YOU NEED A NAME.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
YOU NEED A NAME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
YOU NEED A NAME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
CALL YOU?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
CALL YOU?
[BARKING "JESUS"]
>> THAT'S IT!
BARTHOLOMEW!
ONE OF OUR LORD'S LESSER KNOWN,
BARTHOLOMEW!
ONE OF OUR LORD'S LESSER KNOWN,
YET VERY IMPORTANT DISCIPLES!
ONE OF OUR LORD'S LESSER KNOWN,
YET VERY IMPORTANT DISCIPLES!
[WHIMPERS]
YET VERY IMPORTANT DISCIPLES!
[WHIMPERS]
TIME FOR SOME TRAINING,
[WHIMPERS]
TIME FOR SOME TRAINING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
TIME FOR SOME TRAINING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
PLAY DEAD!
BARTHOLOMEW.
PLAY DEAD!
WOW, FAST LEARNER.
PLAY DEAD!
WOW, FAST LEARNER.
NOW, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE
WOW, FAST LEARNER.
NOW, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE
TOUGHER...
NOW, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE
TOUGHER...
PLAY LAZARUS!
TOUGHER...
PLAY LAZARUS!
[BARKS]
PLAY LAZARUS!
[BARKS]
AMAZING!
[BARKS]
AMAZING!
GOOD DOG!
AMAZING!
GOOD DOG!
HERE'S A REAL TRICKY-TRICK.
GOOD DOG!
HERE'S A REAL TRICKY-TRICK.
FIRST BOOK OF SAMUEL,
HERE'S A REAL TRICKY-TRICK.
FIRST BOOK OF SAMUEL,
CHAPTER 17, VERSE...
FIRST BOOK OF SAMUEL,
CHAPTER 17, VERSE...
YEP, THAT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH,
CHAPTER 17, VERSE...
YEP, THAT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH,
ALL RIGHT.
YEP, THAT'S AN OLIVE BRANCH,
ALL RIGHT.
GOSH, BARTHOLOMEW, COMPARED
ALL RIGHT.
GOSH, BARTHOLOMEW, COMPARED
TO YOU, LASSIE WAS A HEATHEN.
GOSH, BARTHOLOMEW, COMPARED
TO YOU, LASSIE WAS A HEATHEN.
>> HEY, OREL.
TO YOU, LASSIE WAS A HEATHEN.
>> HEY, OREL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT
>> HEY, OREL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT
STUPID, UGLY DOG?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT
STUPID, UGLY DOG?
>> OH, HI, JOE.
STUPID, UGLY DOG?
>> OH, HI, JOE.
THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW!
>> OH, HI, JOE.
THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW!
I'M JUST TEACHING HIM
THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW!
I'M JUST TEACHING HIM
A FEW TRICKS.
I'M JUST TEACHING HIM
A FEW TRICKS.
>> HEY!
A FEW TRICKS.
>> HEY!
GET LOST, MUTT!
>> HEY!
GET LOST, MUTT!
AND NOW WHAT DOES HE THINK
GET LOST, MUTT!
AND NOW WHAT DOES HE THINK
HE'S DOING?
AND NOW WHAT DOES HE THINK
HE'S DOING?
>> TRAINED HIM TO TURN
HE'S DOING?
>> TRAINED HIM TO TURN
THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> TRAINED HIM TO TURN
THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> LOUSY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK...
THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> LOUSY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK...
WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?
>> LOUSY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK...
WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BIT ME,
WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BIT ME,
STUPID DOG!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BIT ME,
STUPID DOG!
>> OK, BARTHOLOMEW--
STUPID DOG!
>> OK, BARTHOLOMEW--
PREACH!
>> OK, BARTHOLOMEW--
PREACH!
PREACH!
PREACH!
PREACH!
[RUFF]
PREACH!
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
[RUFF]
>> ROUGH, ROUGH, ROUGH,
[RUFF]
>> ROUGH, ROUGH, ROUGH,
ROUGH.
>> ROUGH, ROUGH, ROUGH,
ROUGH.
IT'S ROUGH IN HELL.
ROUGH.
IT'S ROUGH IN HELL.
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY SERMON,
IT'S ROUGH IN HELL.
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY SERMON,
YOU WILL AVOID THE BLAZING PIT.
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY SERMON,
YOU WILL AVOID THE BLAZING PIT.
FOR TODAY'S LESSON IS ABOUT
YOU WILL AVOID THE BLAZING PIT.
FOR TODAY'S LESSON IS ABOUT
SOMETHING THAT I DON'T GET
FOR TODAY'S LESSON IS ABOUT
SOMETHING THAT I DON'T GET
TO TALK A LOT ABOUT UP HERE:
SOMETHING THAT I DON'T GET
TO TALK A LOT ABOUT UP HERE:
LOVE.
TO TALK A LOT ABOUT UP HERE:
LOVE.
SURE, IT'S EASY TO PREACH WHEN
LOVE.
SURE, IT'S EASY TO PREACH WHEN
YOU GOT FEAR AND GOD'S RELIABLE
SURE, IT'S EASY TO PREACH WHEN
YOU GOT FEAR AND GOD'S RELIABLE
SPINE-CHILLING WRATH ON
YOU GOT FEAR AND GOD'S RELIABLE
SPINE-CHILLING WRATH ON
YOUR SIDE, BUT LOVE?
SPINE-CHILLING WRATH ON
YOUR SIDE, BUT LOVE?
HOW CAN WE APPLY LOVE TO
YOUR SIDE, BUT LOVE?
HOW CAN WE APPLY LOVE TO
OUR FAITH?
HOW CAN WE APPLY LOVE TO
OUR FAITH?
ANYBODY?
OUR FAITH?
ANYBODY?
NOPE, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.
ANYBODY?
NOPE, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.
AND HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
NOPE, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.
AND HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
LOVE JESUS.
AND HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
LOVE JESUS.
GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE JESUS
LOVE JESUS.
GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE JESUS
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN
GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE JESUS
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN
THE WORLD.
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN
THE WORLD.
MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.
THE WORLD.
MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FATHER.
MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FATHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.
MORE THAN YOUR FATHER.
MORE THAN YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.
AND, YES, EVEN MORE THAN MONEY.
MORE THAN YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.
AND, YES, EVEN MORE THAN MONEY.
>> [GASPING]
AND, YES, EVEN MORE THAN MONEY.
>> [GASPING]
>> FOR JESUS IS GREATER THAN ALL
>> [GASPING]
>> FOR JESUS IS GREATER THAN ALL
THESE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
>> FOR JESUS IS GREATER THAN ALL
THESE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
AND IF YOU PRAY TO HIM,
THESE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
AND IF YOU PRAY TO HIM,
HE CAN GET YOU MONEY,
AND IF YOU PRAY TO HIM,
HE CAN GET YOU MONEY,
SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.
HE CAN GET YOU MONEY,
SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.
AMEN?
SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.
AMEN?
>> AMEN!
AMEN?
>> AMEN!
>> AND TODAY AS YOU LEAVE,
>> AMEN!
>> AND TODAY AS YOU LEAVE,
I WILL BE HANDING OUT FREE GIFTS
>> AND TODAY AS YOU LEAVE,
I WILL BE HANDING OUT FREE GIFTS
TO INSPIRE YOU IN YOUR DAY.
I WILL BE HANDING OUT FREE GIFTS
TO INSPIRE YOU IN YOUR DAY.
I THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS WILL
TO INSPIRE YOU IN YOUR DAY.
I THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS WILL
ESPECIALLY GET A KICK
I THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS WILL
ESPECIALLY GET A KICK
OUT OF THEM.
ESPECIALLY GET A KICK
OUT OF THEM.
>> WELL, WHAT A FLATTERING SHOT,
OUT OF THEM.
>> WELL, WHAT A FLATTERING SHOT,
REVEREND.
>> WELL, WHAT A FLATTERING SHOT,
REVEREND.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
REVEREND.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, KIDS, ONE AT A TIME.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, KIDS, ONE AT A TIME.
PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
OK, KIDS, ONE AT A TIME.
PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
[BARKING]
PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
[BARKING]
>> DOGGIE!
[BARKING]
>> DOGGIE!
>> WATCHA GOT THERE, REVEREND?
>> DOGGIE!
>> WATCHA GOT THERE, REVEREND?
>> HUH? OH, HERE.
>> WATCHA GOT THERE, REVEREND?
>> HUH? OH, HERE.
>> WOW!
>> HUH? OH, HERE.
>> WOW!
NEAT!
>> WOW!
NEAT!
HOW MUCH IS IT?
NEAT!
HOW MUCH IS IT?
>> GRATIS.
HOW MUCH IS IT?
>> GRATIS.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
>> GRATIS.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THAT DOG, OREL?
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THAT DOG, OREL?
>> OH, YEAH.
THAT DOG, OREL?
>> OH, YEAH.
THAT'S MY DOG, BARTHOLOMEW.
>> OH, YEAH.
THAT'S MY DOG, BARTHOLOMEW.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
THAT'S MY DOG, BARTHOLOMEW.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
THANKS, REVEREND!
ISN'T HE CUTE?
THANKS, REVEREND!
>> DON'T FORGET YOUR
THANKS, REVEREND!
>> DON'T FORGET YOUR
INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS, KIDS!
>> DON'T FORGET YOUR
INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS, KIDS!
[GROWLS]
INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS, KIDS!
[GROWLS]
>> IN SHORT, YOUR LITTLE BOBBY
[GROWLS]
>> IN SHORT, YOUR LITTLE BOBBY
IS EXTREMELY CREATIVE AND
>> IN SHORT, YOUR LITTLE BOBBY
IS EXTREMELY CREATIVE AND
A FREE THINKER, SO THEREFORE
IS EXTREMELY CREATIVE AND
A FREE THINKER, SO THEREFORE
HE'S SUSPENDED FOR 3 WEEKS.
A FREE THINKER, SO THEREFORE
HE'S SUSPENDED FOR 3 WEEKS.
[BELL RINGS]
HE'S SUSPENDED FOR 3 WEEKS.
[BELL RINGS]
UGH, THAT'S RECESS.
[BELL RINGS]
UGH, THAT'S RECESS.
>> THE FIRST DAY THE KIDS GET
UGH, THAT'S RECESS.
>> THE FIRST DAY THE KIDS GET
TO USE THE NEW JESUSLAND
>> THE FIRST DAY THE KIDS GET
TO USE THE NEW JESUSLAND
PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT.
TO USE THE NEW JESUSLAND
PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT.
>> HMM.
PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT.
>> HMM.
SPENT A FRACTION OF THE SCHOOL
>> HMM.
SPENT A FRACTION OF THE SCHOOL
BUDGET ON THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS.
SPENT A FRACTION OF THE SCHOOL
BUDGET ON THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS.
THEY'D BETTER APPRECIATE IT.
[GROWLS]
>> NOW, BE A GOOD GIRL, SUZY,
AND WALK FOR ME.
>> NOW, BE A GOOD GIRL, SUZY,
AND WALK FOR ME.
>> [CRIES]
AND WALK FOR ME.
>> [CRIES]
NO!
>> [CRIES]
NO!
>> MR. AND MRS. FIGURELLI,
NO!
>> MR. AND MRS. FIGURELLI,
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING PHYSICALLY
>> MR. AND MRS. FIGURELLI,
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING PHYSICALLY
WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING PHYSICALLY
WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT IT'S
WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT IT'S
JESUS' WILL THAT SHE NEVER
WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT IT'S
JESUS' WILL THAT SHE NEVER
WALKS AGAIN.
JESUS' WILL THAT SHE NEVER
WALKS AGAIN.
>> LA, LA, LA, LA!
>> HI, DR. POTTERSWHEEL!
JUST CAME BY TO CHEER UP
THE PATIENTS!
JUST CAME BY TO CHEER UP
THE PATIENTS!
>> [GROWLS]
THE PATIENTS!
>> [GROWLS]
>> HURRY, OREL.
>> [GROWLS]
>> HURRY, OREL.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
>> HURRY, OREL.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
BIBLE YOUTH FUN CLUB.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
BIBLE YOUTH FUN CLUB.
YOU KNOW HOW INTOLERANT THEY
BIBLE YOUTH FUN CLUB.
YOU KNOW HOW INTOLERANT THEY
CAN ALL BE.
YOU KNOW HOW INTOLERANT THEY
CAN ALL BE.
>> I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE,
CAN ALL BE.
>> I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE,
DOUGHY.
>> I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE,
DOUGHY.
[WHIMPERING]
DOUGHY.
[WHIMPERING]
>> YOU HAVE DOZENS OF THEM
[WHIMPERING]
>> YOU HAVE DOZENS OF THEM
THERE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.
>> YOU HAVE DOZENS OF THEM
THERE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.
>> YEAH, BUT NONE OF THOSE IS
THERE ON YOUR BOOKSHELF.
>> YEAH, BUT NONE OF THOSE IS
MY LUCKY BIBLE.
>> YEAH, BUT NONE OF THOSE IS
MY LUCKY BIBLE.
BARTHOLOMEW, PLEASE!
MY LUCKY BIBLE.
BARTHOLOMEW, PLEASE!
OH, IT'S NO USE.
BARTHOLOMEW, PLEASE!
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I'LL NEVER FIND IT.
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I'LL NEVER FIND IT.
[WHIMPERS]
I'LL NEVER FIND IT.
[WHIMPERS]
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO
[WHIMPERS]
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO
USE OL' GOSPY.
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO
USE OL' GOSPY.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
USE OL' GOSPY.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH.
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH.
ME OREL, ME OREL!
BLAH, BLAH.
ME OREL, ME OREL!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, JESUS!
ME OREL, ME OREL!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, JESUS!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SINNER!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, JESUS!
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SINNER!
[BARKS]
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SINNER!
[BARKS]
[SCREAMS]
[BARKS]
[SCREAMS]
>> MY LUCKY BIBLE!
[SCREAMS]
>> MY LUCKY BIBLE!
YOU FOUND IT!
>> MY LUCKY BIBLE!
YOU FOUND IT!
OH, BARTHOLOMEW,
YOU FOUND IT!
OH, BARTHOLOMEW,
YOU'RE THE BEST!
OH, BARTHOLOMEW,
YOU'RE THE BEST!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
YOU'RE THE BEST!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
WHY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
WHY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
WHY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
>> GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
>> GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
>> GOD WANTS YOU TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD...
JESUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD...
["WORLD" ECHOES]
IN THE WORLD...
["WORLD" ECHOES]
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, OREL?
["WORLD" ECHOES]
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, OREL?
>> THIS ISN'T GOOD, DOUGHY.
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, OREL?
>> THIS ISN'T GOOD, DOUGHY.
>> IT ISN'T?
>> THIS ISN'T GOOD, DOUGHY.
>> IT ISN'T?
THAT'S NOT GOOD!
>> IT ISN'T?
THAT'S NOT GOOD!
>> I THINK I LOVE BARTHOLOMEW
THAT'S NOT GOOD!
>> I THINK I LOVE BARTHOLOMEW
MORE THAN JESUS.
>> I THINK I LOVE BARTHOLOMEW
MORE THAN JESUS.
>> YIKES!
MORE THAN JESUS.
>> YIKES!
>> YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
>> YIKES!
>> YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
>> BUT--
>> YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
>> BUT--
THAT'S A SIN!
>> BUT--
THAT'S A SIN!
>> I KNOW.
THAT'S A SIN!
>> I KNOW.
I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO
>> I KNOW.
I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO LOVE
FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN A DOG.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO LOVE
JESUS MORE THAN A DOG.
>> HMM...
SON OF A...
HMM?
[GROANING SOFTLY]
[MOANING]
[KNOCKING]
Y'ELLO!
[KNOCKING]
Y'ELLO!
>> HEY, DAD.
Y'ELLO!
>> HEY, DAD.
>> WHAT'S UP, REAL SON OF MINE?
>> HEY, DAD.
>> WHAT'S UP, REAL SON OF MINE?
>> HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM LOVING
>> WHAT'S UP, REAL SON OF MINE?
>> HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM LOVING
SOMEONE TOO MUCH?
>> HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM LOVING
SOMEONE TOO MUCH?
>> GLAD YOU ASKED, OREL.
SOMEONE TOO MUCH?
>> GLAD YOU ASKED, OREL.
LOVE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL,
>> GLAD YOU ASKED, OREL.
LOVE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL,
VERY INTENSE FEELING FOR
LOVE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL,
VERY INTENSE FEELING FOR
A STARTLINGLY SHORT PERIOD
VERY INTENSE FEELING FOR
A STARTLINGLY SHORT PERIOD
OF TIME.
A STARTLINGLY SHORT PERIOD
OF TIME.
BEFORE LONG YOU REALIZE IT
OF TIME.
BEFORE LONG YOU REALIZE IT
JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE REAL
BEFORE LONG YOU REALIZE IT
JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE REAL
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE REAL
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
LIKE JUST GOING TO SLEEP OR
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
LIKE JUST GOING TO SLEEP OR
BEING LEFT ALONE.
LIKE JUST GOING TO SLEEP OR
BEING LEFT ALONE.
THAT'S WHEN LOVE STARTS FADING
BEING LEFT ALONE.
THAT'S WHEN LOVE STARTS FADING
AND LIES KICK IN.
THAT'S WHEN LOVE STARTS FADING
AND LIES KICK IN.
>> BUT HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY
AND LIES KICK IN.
>> BUT HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY
TAKE FOR LOVE TO FADE?
>> BUT HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY
TAKE FOR LOVE TO FADE?
>> OH, QUICKER THAN YOU THINK,
TAKE FOR LOVE TO FADE?
>> OH, QUICKER THAN YOU THINK,
KID.
>> OH, QUICKER THAN YOU THINK,
KID.
QUICKER THAN YOU THINK.
>> OK, BOY, LET'S JUST WAIT
FOR THIS LOVE TO FADE.
[GIGGLES]
OH!
I KNOW!
I'LL READ MORE ABOUT JESUS
I KNOW!
I'LL READ MORE ABOUT JESUS
AND MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL SURELY
I'LL READ MORE ABOUT JESUS
AND MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL SURELY
GROW EVEN STRONGER.
AND MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL SURELY
GROW EVEN STRONGER.
THEN, I WON'T HAVE TO LOVE
GROW EVEN STRONGER.
THEN, I WON'T HAVE TO LOVE
YOU LESS.
THEN, I WON'T HAVE TO LOVE
YOU LESS.
"I SAY UNTO YOU, LOVE THINE
YOU LESS.
"I SAY UNTO YOU, LOVE THINE
ENEMIES."
"I SAY UNTO YOU, LOVE THINE
ENEMIES."
YEAH...
ENEMIES."
YEAH...
>> HATE, HATE, HATE!
YEAH...
>> HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS PUT ON WEIGHT!
>> HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS PUT ON WEIGHT!
HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS PUT ON WEIGHT!
HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS--
HATE, HATE, HATE!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS--
>> BOO!
WHEN THE GLUTTONS--
>> BOO!
GOD HATES YOU, FATTY!
>> BOO!
GOD HATES YOU, FATTY!
GOD HATES YOU!
GOD HATES YOU, FATTY!
GOD HATES YOU!
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL,
GOD HATES YOU!
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL,
>> AWW...
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL,
>> AWW...
"SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN."
>> AWW...
"SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN."
GOOD OL' JESUS!
"SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN."
GOOD OL' JESUS!
>> DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO QUIT
GOOD OL' JESUS!
>> DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO QUIT
ASKING ME THAT?
>> DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO QUIT
ASKING ME THAT?
>> BUT I MISS DADDY!
ASKING ME THAT?
>> BUT I MISS DADDY!
>> HERE'S YOUR DADDY!
>> BUT I MISS DADDY!
>> HERE'S YOUR DADDY!
>> [CRYING]
>> HERE'S YOUR DADDY!
>> [CRYING]
>> OH, YOU'RE JUST NOT HELPING,
>> [CRYING]
>> OH, YOU'RE JUST NOT HELPING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
>> OH, YOU'RE JUST NOT HELPING,
BARTHOLOMEW.
I BET IF JESUS WERE HERE,
BARTHOLOMEW.
I BET IF JESUS WERE HERE,
EVEN HE WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN
I BET IF JESUS WERE HERE,
EVEN HE WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN
HE LOVES HIMSELF.
EVEN HE WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN
HE LOVES HIMSELF.
"THE SON OF MAN WILL BE
HE LOVES HIMSELF.
"THE SON OF MAN WILL BE
DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN,
"THE SON OF MAN WILL BE
DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN,
AND THEY WILL KILL HIM."
DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN,
AND THEY WILL KILL HIM."
>> THERE HE IS!
AND THEY WILL KILL HIM."
>> THERE HE IS!
>> DOUGHY!
>> THERE HE IS!
>> DOUGHY!
YOU JUDASED ME.
>> DOUGHY!
YOU JUDASED ME.
>> SORRY, OREL.
YOU JUDASED ME.
>> SORRY, OREL.
I HAD TO.
>> SORRY, OREL.
I HAD TO.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
I HAD TO.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
BURN IN HELL.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
BURN IN HELL.
YOU LOVE THAT DOG MORE THAN
BURN IN HELL.
YOU LOVE THAT DOG MORE THAN
J-JESUS!
YOU LOVE THAT DOG MORE THAN
J-JESUS!
>> WHAT ARE MY SERMON'S
J-JESUS!
>> WHAT ARE MY SERMON'S
TO YOU, OREL?
>> WHAT ARE MY SERMON'S
TO YOU, OREL?
CHINESE EAR FOOD?
TO YOU, OREL?
CHINESE EAR FOOD?
HUNGRY ALREADY?
CHINESE EAR FOOD?
HUNGRY ALREADY?
>> NO, REVEREND.
HUNGRY ALREADY?
>> NO, REVEREND.
>> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
>> NO, REVEREND.
>> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
>> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
YOUNG MAN.
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
YOUNG MAN.
>> YES, DAD.
YOUNG MAN.
>> YES, DAD.
>> THEN DO THE RIGHT THING.
>> BARTHOLOMEW, I LOVE YOU MORE
THAN JESUS MORE THAN EVER...
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
THAN JESUS MORE THAN EVER...
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
OK, DAD.
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
OK, DAD.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE
OK, DAD.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE
BARTHOLOMEW UP.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE
BARTHOLOMEW UP.
>> GOOD.
BARTHOLOMEW UP.
>> GOOD.
HAND HIM OVER TO
>> GOOD.
HAND HIM OVER TO
DR. POTTERSWHEEL.
HAND HIM OVER TO
DR. POTTERSWHEEL.
HE HAS A SHOT FOR HIM THAT WILL
DR. POTTERSWHEEL.
HE HAS A SHOT FOR HIM THAT WILL
BE VIRTUALLY PAINLESS.
HE HAS A SHOT FOR HIM THAT WILL
BE VIRTUALLY PAINLESS.
RIGHT, DOC?
BE VIRTUALLY PAINLESS.
RIGHT, DOC?
>> WELL, I'M NO VET, BUT THEN
RIGHT, DOC?
>> WELL, I'M NO VET, BUT THEN
AGAIN I'M ONLY GONNA KILL IT.
>> WELL, I'M NO VET, BUT THEN
AGAIN I'M ONLY GONNA KILL IT.
>> GEE, DAD, DOES HE HAVE TO
AGAIN I'M ONLY GONNA KILL IT.
>> GEE, DAD, DOES HE HAVE TO
DIE?
>> GEE, DAD, DOES HE HAVE TO
DIE?
>> WITH ALL THAT LOVE BEING
DIE?
>> WITH ALL THAT LOVE BEING
SPREAD EVERYWHERE, THIS DOG IS
>> WITH ALL THAT LOVE BEING
SPREAD EVERYWHERE, THIS DOG IS
DANGEROUS.
SPREAD EVERYWHERE, THIS DOG IS
DANGEROUS.
>> UM...
DANGEROUS.
>> UM...
WELL, MY OFFICE IS ALL THE WAY
>> UM...
WELL, MY OFFICE IS ALL THE WAY
UP THAT HILL THERE.
WELL, MY OFFICE IS ALL THE WAY
UP THAT HILL THERE.
[THUNDER]
>> "THE ANGEL SAID TO THE WOMEN,
DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I KNOW
THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS,
DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I KNOW
THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS,
WHO HAS RISEN."
THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS,
WHO HAS RISEN."
OF COURSE!
WHO HAS RISEN."
OF COURSE!
HALLELUJAH!
OF COURSE!
HALLELUJAH!
[WHISTLES HALLELUJAH CHORUS
HALLELUJAH!
[WHISTLES HALLELUJAH CHORUS
FROM HANDEL'S "MESSIAH"]
>> HMM.
FOR A BOY WHOSE DOG WAS JUST
DESTROYED, YOU'RE PRETTY
FOR A BOY WHOSE DOG WAS JUST
DESTROYED, YOU'RE PRETTY
CHIPPER, OREL.
DESTROYED, YOU'RE PRETTY
CHIPPER, OREL.
>> WELL...
CHIPPER, OREL.
>> WELL...
I CAN'T BE TOO SAD.
>> WELL...
I CAN'T BE TOO SAD.
AT LEAST ONE DAY I KNOW I'LL SEE
I CAN'T BE TOO SAD.
AT LEAST ONE DAY I KNOW I'LL SEE
BARTHOLOMEW IN HEAVEN!
AT LEAST ONE DAY I KNOW I'LL SEE
BARTHOLOMEW IN HEAVEN!
>> OH, OREL, ANIMALS AREN'T
BARTHOLOMEW IN HEAVEN!
>> OH, OREL, ANIMALS AREN'T
ALLOWED IN HEAVEN.
>> OH, OREL, ANIMALS AREN'T
ALLOWED IN HEAVEN.
>> THEY AREN'T?
ALLOWED IN HEAVEN.
>> THEY AREN'T?
>> OF COURSE NOT.
>> THEY AREN'T?
>> OF COURSE NOT.
>> DOES THAT MEAN BARTHOLOMEW IS
>> OF COURSE NOT.
>> DOES THAT MEAN BARTHOLOMEW IS
GOING TO BURN IN HELL?!
>> DOES THAT MEAN BARTHOLOMEW IS
GOING TO BURN IN HELL?!
>> MM-MMM.
GOING TO BURN IN HELL?!
>> MM-MMM.
NOT THAT EITHER.
>> MM-MMM.
NOT THAT EITHER.
YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE NO SOULS
NOT THAT EITHER.
YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE NO SOULS
WHATSOEVER.
YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE NO SOULS
WHATSOEVER.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TASTY
WHATSOEVER.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TASTY
WHEN WE EAT AND DRINK THEM.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TASTY
WHEN WE EAT AND DRINK THEM.
>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T GOD
WHEN WE EAT AND DRINK THEM.
>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T GOD
GIVE 'EM A SOUL?
>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T GOD
GIVE 'EM A SOUL?
>> BECAUSE THAT WOULD GO AGAINST
GIVE 'EM A SOUL?
>> BECAUSE THAT WOULD GO AGAINST
THE BIBLE.
>> BECAUSE THAT WOULD GO AGAINST
THE BIBLE.
AND NOT EVEN GOD CAN DO THAT.
THE BIBLE.
AND NOT EVEN GOD CAN DO THAT.
>> BUT--
AND NOT EVEN GOD CAN DO THAT.
>> BUT--
>> RULES ARE RULES!
>> BUT--
>> RULES ARE RULES!
[SQUEALING]
>> RULES ARE RULES!
[SQUEALING]
>> MMM!
[SQUEALING]
>> MMM!
SOMETHING SOUNDS DELICIOUS!
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
[SHUTTER CLICKING]
>> HELLO, GOOD-BYE.