Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 2, Episode 17 - Presents for God - full transcript

With no sinners left in Moralton for Reverend Putty to save, Orel imports a few lost souls from the neighboring town.

[ FANFARE ]

>> ? I GOT THE HOTTEST SET OF
WHEELS IN THE WHOLE GOOD BOOK ?
? HIS NAME IS GOD ALMIGHTY,

WHEELS IN THE WHOLE GOOD BOOK ?
? HIS NAME IS GOD ALMIGHTY,
HE CAN REALLY COOK ?

? HIS NAME IS GOD ALMIGHTY,
HE CAN REALLY COOK ?
>> ? GO, GOD, GO, GOD ?

HE CAN REALLY COOK ?
>> ? GO, GOD, GO, GOD ?
? GO, GOD, GO ?

>> ? GO, GOD, GO, GOD ?
? GO, GOD, GO ?
>> ? HE'S GOT OMNIPRESENT

? GO, GOD, GO ?
>> ? HE'S GOT OMNIPRESENT
POWER ?

>> ? HE'S GOT OMNIPRESENT
POWER ?
? MAN, IT'S SUCH A GAS TO WATCH

POWER ?
? MAN, IT'S SUCH A GAS TO WATCH
THE HEATHENS ALL TREMBLE WHEN HE

? MAN, IT'S SUCH A GAS TO WATCH
THE HEATHENS ALL TREMBLE WHEN HE
REVS HIS WRATH ?

THE HEATHENS ALL TREMBLE WHEN HE
REVS HIS WRATH ?
>> ? GO, GOD, GO, GOD ?



REVS HIS WRATH ?
>> ? GO, GOD, GO, GOD ?
? GO, GOD, GO ?

>> ? GO, GOD, GO, GOD ?
? GO, GOD, GO ?
>> ? WITH HIS V-10 COMMANDMENTS

? GO, GOD, GO ?
>> ? WITH HIS V-10 COMMANDMENTS
RUMBLING UNDER THE HOOD ?

>> ? WITH HIS V-10 COMMANDMENTS
RUMBLING UNDER THE HOOD ?
? HE'S A SIN-SLAYING, RIGHTEOUS

RUMBLING UNDER THE HOOD ?
? HE'S A SIN-SLAYING, RIGHTEOUS
MACHINE ?

? HE'S A SIN-SLAYING, RIGHTEOUS
MACHINE ?
? GO PAST TEMPTATION LIKE IT'S

MACHINE ?
? GO PAST TEMPTATION LIKE IT'S
STANDING STILL ?

? GO PAST TEMPTATION LIKE IT'S
STANDING STILL ?
? BUT, MAN, HOW THE CHICKS ALL

STANDING STILL ?
? BUT, MAN, HOW THE CHICKS ALL
CREAM ?

? BUT, MAN, HOW THE CHICKS ALL
CREAM ?
>> ? YEAH ?

CREAM ?
>> ? YEAH ?
>> ? YOU'LL GO REAL FAR, DRIVING

>> ? YEAH ?
>> ? YOU'LL GO REAL FAR, DRIVING
GOD LIKE A CAR ?

>> ? YOU'LL GO REAL FAR, DRIVING
GOD LIKE A CAR ?
>> ? METAPHOR, METAPHOR ?

GOD LIKE A CAR ?
>> ? METAPHOR, METAPHOR ?
[ TIRES SCREECH ]



>> ? METAPHOR, METAPHOR ?
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]
>> Orel: DAD, ISN'T IT A SIN TO

[ RADIO TURNS OFF ]
>> Orel: DAD, ISN'T IT A SIN TO
PARK IN THE CHURCH'S HANDICAPPED

>> Orel: DAD, ISN'T IT A SIN TO
PARK IN THE CHURCH'S HANDICAPPED
SPOT?

PARK IN THE CHURCH'S HANDICAPPED
SPOT?
>> Clay: NOT IF YOUR FOOT'S

SPOT?
>> Clay: NOT IF YOUR FOOT'S
ASLEEP!

>> Clay: NOT IF YOUR FOOT'S
ASLEEP!
[ ORGAN PLAYING ]

ASLEEP!
[ ORGAN PLAYING ]
>> Rev. Putty: FRIENDS, WHAT

[ ORGAN PLAYING ]
>> Rev. Putty: FRIENDS, WHAT
DOES GOD LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING

>> Rev. Putty: FRIENDS, WHAT
DOES GOD LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING
ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

DOES GOD LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING
ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
THAT'S RIGHT -- PRESENTS!

ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
THAT'S RIGHT -- PRESENTS!
BUT THE BIG QUESTION IS, "WHAT

THAT'S RIGHT -- PRESENTS!
BUT THE BIG QUESTION IS, "WHAT
DO YOU GET A GUY WHO HAS

BUT THE BIG QUESTION IS, "WHAT
DO YOU GET A GUY WHO HAS
EVERYTHING?"

DO YOU GET A GUY WHO HAS
EVERYTHING?"
WELL, THE ANSWER USED TO BE

EVERYTHING?"
WELL, THE ANSWER USED TO BE
SIMPLE -- A WAYWARD SOUL.

WELL, THE ANSWER USED TO BE
SIMPLE -- A WAYWARD SOUL.
BELIEVE ME, YOU JUST COULDN'T

SIMPLE -- A WAYWARD SOUL.
BELIEVE ME, YOU JUST COULDN'T
LOSE WITH ONE OF THOSE.

BELIEVE ME, YOU JUST COULDN'T
LOSE WITH ONE OF THOSE.
THEY WERE KIND OF LIKE GIVING

LOSE WITH ONE OF THOSE.
THEY WERE KIND OF LIKE GIVING
CASH.

THEY WERE KIND OF LIKE GIVING
CASH.
BUT NOW THE TROUBLE IS YOU CAN'T

CASH.
BUT NOW THE TROUBLE IS YOU CAN'T
FIND THE DARN THINGS ANYWHERE

BUT NOW THE TROUBLE IS YOU CAN'T
FIND THE DARN THINGS ANYWHERE
AROUND HERE.

FIND THE DARN THINGS ANYWHERE
AROUND HERE.
GOD ALREADY HAS DIBS ON

AROUND HERE.
GOD ALREADY HAS DIBS ON
EVERYONE'S SOUL HERE IN

GOD ALREADY HAS DIBS ON
EVERYONE'S SOUL HERE IN
MORALTON.

EVERYONE'S SOUL HERE IN
MORALTON.
[ SIGHS HEAVILY ]

WHATEVER.
EVERY WEEK IT'S THE SAME THING.
"YAKETY-YAK, SINNING IS BAD."

EVERY WEEK IT'S THE SAME THING.
"YAKETY-YAK, SINNING IS BAD."
YEAH, RIGHT.

"YAKETY-YAK, SINNING IS BAD."
YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU GUYS SINNING -- PLEASE!

YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU GUYS SINNING -- PLEASE!
IN MY DREAMS, MAYBE.

YOU GUYS SINNING -- PLEASE!
IN MY DREAMS, MAYBE.
PREACHING TO THE CHOIR. AMEN.

IN MY DREAMS, MAYBE.
PREACHING TO THE CHOIR. AMEN.
>> Orel: AMEN!

PREACHING TO THE CHOIR. AMEN.
>> Orel: AMEN!
>> Rev. Putty: PRAISE HIS NAME.

>> Orel: AMEN!
>> Rev. Putty: PRAISE HIS NAME.
HALLELUJAH. GO WITH GOD.

>> Rev. Putty: PRAISE HIS NAME.
HALLELUJAH. GO WITH GOD.
PRAISE THE LORD.

HALLELUJAH. GO WITH GOD.
PRAISE THE LORD.
>> Clay: WAY AHEAD OF YOU,

PRAISE THE LORD.
>> Clay: WAY AHEAD OF YOU,
REVEREND, WAY AHEAD OF YOU.

>> Clay: WAY AHEAD OF YOU,
REVEREND, WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
>> Orel: REVEREND PUTTY?

REVEREND, WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
>> Orel: REVEREND PUTTY?
>> Rev. Putty: WHAT, OREL?

>> Orel: REVEREND PUTTY?
>> Rev. Putty: WHAT, OREL?
>> Orel: I AGREE WITH YOUR

>> Rev. Putty: WHAT, OREL?
>> Orel: I AGREE WITH YOUR
SERMON THAT LOST SOULS MAKE GOOD

>> Orel: I AGREE WITH YOUR
SERMON THAT LOST SOULS MAKE GOOD
PRESENTS FOR GOD.

SERMON THAT LOST SOULS MAKE GOOD
PRESENTS FOR GOD.
>> Rev. Putty: PINCH ME!

PRESENTS FOR GOD.
>> Rev. Putty: PINCH ME!
I'M DREAMING! OREL AGREES!

>> Rev. Putty: PINCH ME!
I'M DREAMING! OREL AGREES!
>> Doughy: SAY, OREL, WANT TO

I'M DREAMING! OREL AGREES!
>> Doughy: SAY, OREL, WANT TO
PLAY?

>> Doughy: SAY, OREL, WANT TO
PLAY?
>> Orel: CAN'T, DOUGHY.

PLAY?
>> Orel: CAN'T, DOUGHY.
I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT

>> Orel: CAN'T, DOUGHY.
I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
REVEREND PUTTY.

I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
REVEREND PUTTY.
>> Doughy: WHY?

REVEREND PUTTY.
>> Doughy: WHY?
IS SOMEONE C-C-CHASING HIM?

>> Doughy: WHY?
IS SOMEONE C-C-CHASING HIM?
>> Orel: NO, WORSE.

IS SOMEONE C-C-CHASING HIM?
>> Orel: NO, WORSE.
WITH ALL THE MORALLY RIGHTEOUS

>> Orel: NO, WORSE.
WITH ALL THE MORALLY RIGHTEOUS
PEOPLE HERE IN MORALTON, THE

WITH ALL THE MORALLY RIGHTEOUS
PEOPLE HERE IN MORALTON, THE
GOOD REVEREND DOESN'T HAVE ANY

PEOPLE HERE IN MORALTON, THE
GOOD REVEREND DOESN'T HAVE ANY
SOULS TO SAVE, AND THAT MEANS HE

GOOD REVEREND DOESN'T HAVE ANY
SOULS TO SAVE, AND THAT MEANS HE
HAS NO PRESENTS TO GIVE GOD.

SOULS TO SAVE, AND THAT MEANS HE
HAS NO PRESENTS TO GIVE GOD.
>> Doughy: YIKES!

HAS NO PRESENTS TO GIVE GOD.
>> Doughy: YIKES!
GOD'S GONNA THINK HE'S A

>> Doughy: YIKES!
GOD'S GONNA THINK HE'S A
CHEAPSKATE!

GOD'S GONNA THINK HE'S A
CHEAPSKATE!
>> Orel: HE SURE IS!

CHEAPSKATE!
>> Orel: HE SURE IS!
OH...THIS IS SERIOUS.

>> Orel: HE SURE IS!
OH...THIS IS SERIOUS.
>> Doughy: OH, NO, OREL.

OH...THIS IS SERIOUS.
>> Doughy: OH, NO, OREL.
DO YOU THINK HE'LL SEND

>> Doughy: OH, NO, OREL.
DO YOU THINK HE'LL SEND
REVEREND PUTTY TO...

DO YOU THINK HE'LL SEND
REVEREND PUTTY TO...
H-E-DOUBLE-L SHAPES?

REVEREND PUTTY TO...
H-E-DOUBLE-L SHAPES?
>> Orel: YEAH, UNLESS WE HELP

H-E-DOUBLE-L SHAPES?
>> Orel: YEAH, UNLESS WE HELP
HIM.

>> Orel: YEAH, UNLESS WE HELP
HIM.
>> Bloberta: COME ALONG, OREL.

HIM.
>> Bloberta: COME ALONG, OREL.
>> Orel: OKAY, MOM!

>> Bloberta: COME ALONG, OREL.
>> Orel: OKAY, MOM!
>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.

>> Orel: OKAY, MOM!
>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.
>> Orel: SEE YOU LATER, DOUGHY.

>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.
>> Orel: SEE YOU LATER, DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: OKAY!

>> Orel: SEE YOU LATER, DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> Orel: DAD, DO YOU KNOW ANY

>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> Orel: DAD, DO YOU KNOW ANY
SINNERS?

>> Orel: DAD, DO YOU KNOW ANY
SINNERS?
>> Clay: HMM.

SINNERS?
>> Clay: HMM.
WELL, THERE IS ONE GUY WHO WORKS

>> Clay: HMM.
WELL, THERE IS ONE GUY WHO WORKS
WITH ME AT MY DEAD-END JOB.

WELL, THERE IS ONE GUY WHO WORKS
WITH ME AT MY DEAD-END JOB.
>> Orel: HOW DOES HE SIN?

WITH ME AT MY DEAD-END JOB.
>> Orel: HOW DOES HE SIN?
>> Clay: EVERY NOW AND THEN, HE

>> Orel: HOW DOES HE SIN?
>> Clay: EVERY NOW AND THEN, HE
FORGETS TO CAPITALIZE GOD'S NAME

>> Clay: EVERY NOW AND THEN, HE
FORGETS TO CAPITALIZE GOD'S NAME
IN LEGAL DOCUMENTS.

FORGETS TO CAPITALIZE GOD'S NAME
IN LEGAL DOCUMENTS.
>> Bloberta: TSK, TSK, MNH-MNH.

IN LEGAL DOCUMENTS.
>> Bloberta: TSK, TSK, MNH-MNH.
>> Orel: OHH, NOT EXACTLY A LOST

>> Bloberta: TSK, TSK, MNH-MNH.
>> Orel: OHH, NOT EXACTLY A LOST
SOUL, THOUGH.

>> Orel: OHH, NOT EXACTLY A LOST
SOUL, THOUGH.
>> Clay: NOPE, NOT YET.

SOUL, THOUGH.
>> Clay: NOPE, NOT YET.
>> Orel: HEY, MAYBE I COULD

>> Clay: NOPE, NOT YET.
>> Orel: HEY, MAYBE I COULD
BECOME A HEATHEN JUST LONG

>> Orel: HEY, MAYBE I COULD
BECOME A HEATHEN JUST LONG
ENOUGH FOR REVEREND PUTTY TO

BECOME A HEATHEN JUST LONG
ENOUGH FOR REVEREND PUTTY TO
SAVE ME.

ENOUGH FOR REVEREND PUTTY TO
SAVE ME.
THAT WOULD MAKE GOD HAPPY.

SAVE ME.
THAT WOULD MAKE GOD HAPPY.
>> Clay: SORRY, PAL, BUT UNTIL

THAT WOULD MAKE GOD HAPPY.
>> Clay: SORRY, PAL, BUT UNTIL
YOU'RE 18, YOUR SOUL BELONGS TO

>> Clay: SORRY, PAL, BUT UNTIL
YOU'RE 18, YOUR SOUL BELONGS TO
US.

YOU'RE 18, YOUR SOUL BELONGS TO
US.
>> Bloberta: SO, FOR GOODNESS'

US.
>> Bloberta: SO, FOR GOODNESS'
SAKES, DON'T GET THE DEVIL ALL

>> Bloberta: SO, FOR GOODNESS'
SAKES, DON'T GET THE DEVIL ALL
OVER IT.

SAKES, DON'T GET THE DEVIL ALL
OVER IT.
>> Shapey: CAKE!

OVER IT.
>> Shapey: CAKE!
>> Bloberta: OHH.

>> Shapey: CAKE!
>> Bloberta: OHH.
>> Shapey: YUMMY!

>> Bloberta: OHH.
>> Shapey: YUMMY!
>> Orel: HEY, WHAT ABOUT HIM?

>> Shapey: YUMMY!
>> Orel: HEY, WHAT ABOUT HIM?
HE'S ALWAYS BAD.

>> Orel: HEY, WHAT ABOUT HIM?
HE'S ALWAYS BAD.
>> Shapey: [ SHRIEKS ]

HE'S ALWAYS BAD.
>> Shapey: [ SHRIEKS ]
>> Clay: SHAPEY'S ONLY 7, SON.

>> Shapey: [ SHRIEKS ]
>> Clay: SHAPEY'S ONLY 7, SON.
HE DOESN'T COUNT.

>> Clay: SHAPEY'S ONLY 7, SON.
HE DOESN'T COUNT.
>> Orel: DAD, HE'S NOT SH--

HE DOESN'T COUNT.
>> Orel: DAD, HE'S NOT SH--
>> Clay: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Orel: DAD, HE'S NOT SH--
>> Clay: THAT'S RIGHT.
HIS LITTLE SOUL HASN'T EVEN

>> Clay: THAT'S RIGHT.
HIS LITTLE SOUL HASN'T EVEN
DEVELOPED FINGERS YET.

HIS LITTLE SOUL HASN'T EVEN
DEVELOPED FINGERS YET.
>> Clay: [ CHUCKLES ]

DEVELOPED FINGERS YET.
>> Clay: [ CHUCKLES ]
>> Orel: GEE, REVEREND PUTTY'S

>> Clay: [ CHUCKLES ]
>> Orel: GEE, REVEREND PUTTY'S
RIGHT.

>> Orel: GEE, REVEREND PUTTY'S
RIGHT.
MORALTON JUST DOESN'T HAVE

RIGHT.
MORALTON JUST DOESN'T HAVE
ANY MORE SOULS TO SAVE.

MORALTON JUST DOESN'T HAVE
ANY MORE SOULS TO SAVE.
>> Clay: YEP!

ANY MORE SOULS TO SAVE.
>> Clay: YEP!
TOO BAD THE GUY'S NOT A PREACHER

>> Clay: YEP!
TOO BAD THE GUY'S NOT A PREACHER
IN SINVILLE.

TOO BAD THE GUY'S NOT A PREACHER
IN SINVILLE.
DAMNED SOULS THERE FLOW LIKE

IN SINVILLE.
DAMNED SOULS THERE FLOW LIKE
REFRESHING, COOL RUNNING WATER.

>> ALL ABOARD FOR SINVILLE!
THIS BUS IS SINVILLE-BOUND!
>> I NEVER!

THIS BUS IS SINVILLE-BOUND!
>> I NEVER!
>> Doughy: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT

>> I NEVER!
>> Doughy: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
THIS, OREL.

>> Doughy: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
THIS, OREL.
EVERYONE SAYS THAT SINVILLE IS

THIS, OREL.
EVERYONE SAYS THAT SINVILLE IS
WHERE UNCLEAN PEOPLE GO TO HAVE

EVERYONE SAYS THAT SINVILLE IS
WHERE UNCLEAN PEOPLE GO TO HAVE
FILTHY THINGS DONE TO THEIR

WHERE UNCLEAN PEOPLE GO TO HAVE
FILTHY THINGS DONE TO THEIR
TARNISHED LITTLE DIRTIES.

FILTHY THINGS DONE TO THEIR
TARNISHED LITTLE DIRTIES.
>> Orel: THAT'S THE POINT,

TARNISHED LITTLE DIRTIES.
>> Orel: THAT'S THE POINT,
DOUGHY.

>> Orel: THAT'S THE POINT,
DOUGHY.
WHERE BETTER TO FIND SOULS THAT

DOUGHY.
WHERE BETTER TO FIND SOULS THAT
NEED SAVING?

[ BELL RINGING ]

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> Orel: EUREKA!

>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> Orel: EUREKA!
JUST LOOK AT ALL THE DOOMED,

>> Orel: EUREKA!
JUST LOOK AT ALL THE DOOMED,
>> Orel: EXCUSE ME, SIR.

JUST LOOK AT ALL THE DOOMED,
>> Orel: EXCUSE ME, SIR.
MIGHT I INTEREST YOU IN HAVING

>> Orel: EXCUSE ME, SIR.
MIGHT I INTEREST YOU IN HAVING
YOUR SOUL SAVED FROM ETERNAL

MIGHT I INTEREST YOU IN HAVING
YOUR SOUL SAVED FROM ETERNAL
DAMNATION?

YOUR SOUL SAVED FROM ETERNAL
DAMNATION?
IT'S FOR A REALLY GOOD CAUSE.

DAMNATION?
IT'S FOR A REALLY GOOD CAUSE.
>> THANKS, SONNY, BUT I'M

IT'S FOR A REALLY GOOD CAUSE.
>> THANKS, SONNY, BUT I'M
ALREADY SAVED.

>> THANKS, SONNY, BUT I'M
ALREADY SAVED.
YOU SEE...

ALREADY SAVED.
YOU SEE...
[ Demonic voice ] I'M A

YOU SEE...
[ Demonic voice ] I'M A
CATHOLIC.

[ Demonic voice ] I'M A
CATHOLIC.
[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]

CATHOLIC.
[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]
>> Both: AAH!

[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]
>> Both: AAH!
>> Doughy: [ BREATHES HEAVILY ]

>> Both: AAH!
>> Doughy: [ BREATHES HEAVILY ]
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, OREL.

>> Doughy: [ BREATHES HEAVILY ]
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, OREL.
I'M PRETTY SURE THIS PLACE IS

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, OREL.
I'M PRETTY SURE THIS PLACE IS
HAUNTED.

I'M PRETTY SURE THIS PLACE IS
HAUNTED.
>> Orel: COME ON, DOUGHY.

HAUNTED.
>> Orel: COME ON, DOUGHY.
YEA, THOUGH WE WALK THROUGH THE

>> Orel: COME ON, DOUGHY.
YEA, THOUGH WE WALK THROUGH THE
VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH!

YEA, THOUGH WE WALK THROUGH THE
VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH!
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]

VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH!
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
>> Orel: EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT

[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
>> Orel: EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT
WHERE MIGHT WE FIND THE MOST

>> Orel: EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT
WHERE MIGHT WE FIND THE MOST
SINFUL SINNERS IN SINVILLE?

WHERE MIGHT WE FIND THE MOST
SINFUL SINNERS IN SINVILLE?
>> WELL, IT'S SINNERS YOU WANT,

SINFUL SINNERS IN SINVILLE?
>> WELL, IT'S SINNERS YOU WANT,
EH?

>> WELL, IT'S SINNERS YOU WANT,
EH?
JUST FOLLOW THE HAPPY, SMILEY

EH?
JUST FOLLOW THE HAPPY, SMILEY
GUYS.

JUST FOLLOW THE HAPPY, SMILEY
GUYS.
[ LAUGHS ]

GUYS.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Doughy: OREL, I THINK I'M

[ LAUGHS ]
>> Doughy: OREL, I THINK I'M
GOING TO SCREAM.

>> Doughy: OREL, I THINK I'M
GOING TO SCREAM.
>> Orel: BE BRAVE, DOUGHY.

GOING TO SCREAM.
>> Orel: BE BRAVE, DOUGHY.
GOD IS WITH US.

FOLLOW US, LADIES.
YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
THESE THREE ARE THE BIGGEST

YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
THESE THREE ARE THE BIGGEST
SINNERS I'VE EVER SEEN IN

THESE THREE ARE THE BIGGEST
SINNERS I'VE EVER SEEN IN
ACTION.

SINNERS I'VE EVER SEEN IN
ACTION.
>> Doughy: ME, TOO.

ACTION.
>> Doughy: ME, TOO.
AND THEY EACH HAVE

>> Doughy: ME, TOO.
AND THEY EACH HAVE
DIFFERENT-COLORED HAIR.

>> Rev. Putty: MMM.
OOH, HEAVENLY DAY.
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]

OOH, HEAVENLY DAY.
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
YES?

[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
YES?
>> ARE YOU REVEREND PUTTY?

YES?
>> ARE YOU REVEREND PUTTY?
>> Rev. Putty: I AM.

>> ARE YOU REVEREND PUTTY?
>> Rev. Putty: I AM.
>> YOUR FRIEND OREL SENT US.

>> Rev. Putty: I AM.
>> YOUR FRIEND OREL SENT US.
WE'RE HERE TO BE, UM, SAVED.

>> YOUR FRIEND OREL SENT US.
WE'RE HERE TO BE, UM, SAVED.
>> [ Male voice ] YOU GET A HALF

WE'RE HERE TO BE, UM, SAVED.
>> [ Male voice ] YOU GET A HALF
AN HOUR.

>> [ Male voice ] YOU GET A HALF
AN HOUR.
>> Rev. Putty: OH!

AN HOUR.
>> Rev. Putty: OH!
WELL, DO COME IN.

>> Rev. Putty: OH!
WELL, DO COME IN.
CAN I OFFER YOU GIRLS ANYTHING?

WELL, DO COME IN.
CAN I OFFER YOU GIRLS ANYTHING?
BUTTERMILK? TEA? MILK?

CAN I OFFER YOU GIRLS ANYTHING?
BUTTERMILK? TEA? MILK?
BUTTER?

BUTTERMILK? TEA? MILK?
BUTTER?
>> WOW, THIS PLACE IS

BUTTER?
>> WOW, THIS PLACE IS
DEPRESSING.

>> WOW, THIS PLACE IS
DEPRESSING.
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, WHEN YOU'RE

DEPRESSING.
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, WHEN YOU'RE
CONSTANTLY DEPRESSED, YOU DON'T

>> Rev. Putty: WELL, WHEN YOU'RE
CONSTANTLY DEPRESSED, YOU DON'T
REALLY NOTICE.

CONSTANTLY DEPRESSED, YOU DON'T
REALLY NOTICE.
>> SO, WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU

REALLY NOTICE.
>> SO, WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU
WANT TO SAVE FIRST?

I THINK THE REDHEAD'S DEFINITELY
GOING TO HELL THE FASTEST.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
SO, WHAT I'M SAYING IS, BROTHERS
AND SISTERS, SURE, BE A GOOD

SO, WHAT I'M SAYING IS, BROTHERS
AND SISTERS, SURE, BE A GOOD
CHRISTIAN, BUT DON'T RUSH IT.

AND SISTERS, SURE, BE A GOOD
CHRISTIAN, BUT DON'T RUSH IT.
YOU GOT TO PLAY IT COOL.

CHRISTIAN, BUT DON'T RUSH IT.
YOU GOT TO PLAY IT COOL.
PACE YOURSELF IF YOU WANT TO

YOU GOT TO PLAY IT COOL.
PACE YOURSELF IF YOU WANT TO
LAST ALL NIGHT, MAYBE EVEN PLAY

PACE YOURSELF IF YOU WANT TO
LAST ALL NIGHT, MAYBE EVEN PLAY
A LITTLE HARD TO GET.

LAST ALL NIGHT, MAYBE EVEN PLAY
A LITTLE HARD TO GET.
LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART

A LITTLE HARD TO GET.
LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART
GRADUALLY, BUT PULL BACK RIGHT

LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART
GRADUALLY, BUT PULL BACK RIGHT
BEFORE YOU REACH COMPLETE

GRADUALLY, BUT PULL BACK RIGHT
BEFORE YOU REACH COMPLETE
SPIRITUAL SATISFACTION.

BEFORE YOU REACH COMPLETE
SPIRITUAL SATISFACTION.
TRUST ME.

SPIRITUAL SATISFACTION.
TRUST ME.
IT'LL DRIVE HIM -- TWO WORDS --

TRUST ME.
IT'LL DRIVE HIM -- TWO WORDS --
"CUR-RAZY."

IT'LL DRIVE HIM -- TWO WORDS --
"CUR-RAZY."
[ CHUCKLES ]

"CUR-RAZY."
[ CHUCKLES ]
THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING

[ CHUCKLES ]
THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT, RIGHT, CHIEF?

THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT, RIGHT, CHIEF?
OOH, HEY, I GOT TO FLY, SO, UH,

ABOUT, RIGHT, CHIEF?
OOH, HEY, I GOT TO FLY, SO, UH,
AMEN.

OOH, HEY, I GOT TO FLY, SO, UH,
AMEN.
HEY, MRS. FIGURELLI, THAT IS A

AMEN.
HEY, MRS. FIGURELLI, THAT IS A
VERY SEXY HAT.

HEY, MRS. FIGURELLI, THAT IS A
VERY SEXY HAT.
ME LIKEN SIE DEUTSCH.

VERY SEXY HAT.
ME LIKEN SIE DEUTSCH.
PRINCIPAL FAKEY, HOW'S YOUR

ME LIKEN SIE DEUTSCH.
PRINCIPAL FAKEY, HOW'S YOUR
FRIENDY NURSE BENDY?

PRINCIPAL FAKEY, HOW'S YOUR
FRIENDY NURSE BENDY?
WINK, WINK.

FRIENDY NURSE BENDY?
WINK, WINK.
HEY, CLAY, MARRIED LIFE TREATING

WINK, WINK.
HEY, CLAY, MARRIED LIFE TREATING
YOU GOOD?

HEY, CLAY, MARRIED LIFE TREATING
YOU GOOD?
[ IMITATES WHIP CRACKING ]

YOU GOOD?
[ IMITATES WHIP CRACKING ]
[ LAUGHS ]

[ IMITATES WHIP CRACKING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
JUST KIDDING, BLOBERTA.

[ LAUGHS ]
JUST KIDDING, BLOBERTA.
IT'S A GUY THING.

JUST KIDDING, BLOBERTA.
IT'S A GUY THING.
OH, OREL, I WANT TO THANK YOU

IT'S A GUY THING.
OH, OREL, I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR THOSE LOST SOULS YOU SENT MY

OH, OREL, I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR THOSE LOST SOULS YOU SENT MY
WAY -- JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR

FOR THOSE LOST SOULS YOU SENT MY
WAY -- JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR
ORDERED.

WAY -- JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR
ORDERED.
EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD

ORDERED.
EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD
EXPERIENCE SUCH GLORY.

EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD
EXPERIENCE SUCH GLORY.
>> Orel: HMM.

EXPERIENCE SUCH GLORY.
>> Orel: HMM.
WHO'S TO SAY THEY CAN'T?

>> Orel: HMM.
WHO'S TO SAY THEY CAN'T?
SO I SAY UNTO YOU -- GO TO A

WHO'S TO SAY THEY CAN'T?
SO I SAY UNTO YOU -- GO TO A
PLACE CALLED MORALTON, AND YOU

SO I SAY UNTO YOU -- GO TO A
PLACE CALLED MORALTON, AND YOU
WILL FIND THE LAND OF MILK AND

PLACE CALLED MORALTON, AND YOU
WILL FIND THE LAND OF MILK AND
HONEY.

>> HOLY MOLY! THIS IS SERIOUS!
>> YEAH, I BETTER WRITE THAT
NUMBER DOWN.

>> YEAH, I BETTER WRITE THAT
NUMBER DOWN.
>> OH, THOSE POOR WOMEN.

NUMBER DOWN.
>> OH, THOSE POOR WOMEN.
TEAR ME OFF A SHEET THERE.

>> OH, THOSE POOR WOMEN.
TEAR ME OFF A SHEET THERE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

TEAR ME OFF A SHEET THERE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
>> Orel: SOUL SAVERS!

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
>> Orel: SOUL SAVERS!
>> YEAH, I-I WAS INTERESTED IN

>> Orel: SOUL SAVERS!
>> YEAH, I-I WAS INTERESTED IN
SAVING A SOUL.

>> YEAH, I-I WAS INTERESTED IN
SAVING A SOUL.
>> Orel: WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND

SAVING A SOUL.
>> Orel: WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND
OF YOU, SIR.

>> Orel: WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND
OF YOU, SIR.
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR

OF YOU, SIR.
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR
THE LORD --

THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR
THE LORD --
>> A BLOND SOUL?

THE LORD --
>> A BLOND SOUL?
>> Orel: LET'S SEE.

>> A BLOND SOUL?
>> Orel: LET'S SEE.
UH, AMBER'S FREE.

>> Bloberta: WELL, I JUST CAN'T
IMAGINE WHAT'S CAUSING THESE
HORRIBLE DISEASES.

IMAGINE WHAT'S CAUSING THESE
HORRIBLE DISEASES.
>> Clay: IT'S A REAL MYSTERY.

HORRIBLE DISEASES.
>> Clay: IT'S A REAL MYSTERY.
SAY, I THINK I'LL GO AND PAINT

>> Clay: IT'S A REAL MYSTERY.
SAY, I THINK I'LL GO AND PAINT
THE LAWN.

SAY, I THINK I'LL GO AND PAINT
THE LAWN.
[ WHISTLES ]

THE LAWN.
[ WHISTLES ]
>> Doughy: $4,550.

[ WHISTLES ]
>> Doughy: $4,550.
$4,560.

>> Doughy: $4,550.
$4,560.
>> Orel: GOSH, DOUGHY, I NEVER

$4,560.
>> Orel: GOSH, DOUGHY, I NEVER
DREAMED THAT CHRISTIAN MEN WOULD

>> Orel: GOSH, DOUGHY, I NEVER
DREAMED THAT CHRISTIAN MEN WOULD
BE THIS EAGER TO DO GOD'S WORK.

DREAMED THAT CHRISTIAN MEN WOULD
BE THIS EAGER TO DO GOD'S WORK.
>> Doughy: I WONDER WHY

BE THIS EAGER TO DO GOD'S WORK.
>> Doughy: I WONDER WHY
CHRISTIAN WOMEN AREN'T AS

>> Doughy: I WONDER WHY
CHRISTIAN WOMEN AREN'T AS
ENTHUSIASTIC.

CHRISTIAN WOMEN AREN'T AS
ENTHUSIASTIC.
>> Orel: WELL, SAVING SOULS IS

ENTHUSIASTIC.
>> Orel: WELL, SAVING SOULS IS
OBVIOUSLY A MAN'S JOB.

>> Orel: WELL, SAVING SOULS IS
OBVIOUSLY A MAN'S JOB.
>> Doughy: OH, RIGHT.

OBVIOUSLY A MAN'S JOB.
>> Doughy: OH, RIGHT.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

>> Doughy: OH, RIGHT.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
>> Orel: SOUL SAVERS!

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
>> Orel: SOUL SAVERS!
>> Clay: UM, YES, THIS IS

>> Orel: SOUL SAVERS!
>> Clay: UM, YES, THIS IS
CLAY PUPPINGSMITH.

>> Clay: UM, YES, THIS IS
CLAY PUPPINGSMITH.
I'D LIKE TO INQUIRE ABOUT SAVING

CLAY PUPPINGSMITH.
I'D LIKE TO INQUIRE ABOUT SAVING
TWO HEATHENS AT ONCE -- QUAKER

I'D LIKE TO INQUIRE ABOUT SAVING
TWO HEATHENS AT ONCE -- QUAKER
CHICKS, PREFERABLY?

TWO HEATHENS AT ONCE -- QUAKER
CHICKS, PREFERABLY?
>> Orel: DAD?

CHICKS, PREFERABLY?
>> Orel: DAD?
>> Clay: HOLD ON A MINUTE.

>> Orel: DAD?
>> Clay: HOLD ON A MINUTE.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]

>> Clay: HOLD ON A MINUTE.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
OREL?

[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
OREL?
>> Orel: HI, DAD.

OREL?
>> Orel: HI, DAD.
>> Clay: I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN YOU

>> Orel: HI, DAD.
>> Clay: I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN YOU
WERE BEHIND THIS SOMEHOW.

>> Clay: I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN YOU
WERE BEHIND THIS SOMEHOW.
YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER.

WERE BEHIND THIS SOMEHOW.
YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER.
I'LL SEE YOU IN MY STUDY...

YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER.
I'LL SEE YOU IN MY STUDY...
>> Orel: [ GULPS ]

I'LL SEE YOU IN MY STUDY...
>> Orel: [ GULPS ]
>> Clay: ...IN EXACTLY ONE HOUR.

>> Orel: [ GULPS ]
>> Clay: ...IN EXACTLY ONE HOUR.
>> Orel: YES, SIR.

>> Clay: ...IN EXACTLY ONE HOUR.
>> Orel: YES, SIR.
>> Clay: [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> Orel: YES, SIR.
>> Clay: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ Deep voice ] YOU STILL THERE?

>> Clay: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ Deep voice ] YOU STILL THERE?
>> Orel: UH, YEAH.