Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 2, Episode 15 - Courtship - full transcript

Doughy learns a very valuable lesson from his teacher, Miss Scultpham: how to gold dig.

[ FANFARE PLAYS ]

>> NOW SPREAD YOUR HANDS AND
LOOK INSIDE.
>> IT'S UNCANNY!

LOOK INSIDE.
>> IT'S UNCANNY!
>> ISN'T IT, THOUGH?

>> IT'S UNCANNY!
>> ISN'T IT, THOUGH?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> ISN'T IT, THOUGH?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> SHOW ME AGAIN.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> SHOW ME AGAIN.
>> Orel: I DON'T KNOW, DOUGHY.

>> SHOW ME AGAIN.
>> Orel: I DON'T KNOW, DOUGHY.
I JUST DON'T SEE IT.

>> Orel: I DON'T KNOW, DOUGHY.
I JUST DON'T SEE IT.
>> Doughy: GEE, I THOUGHT THAT

I JUST DON'T SEE IT.
>> Doughy: GEE, I THOUGHT THAT
BIG KID SAID IT WOULD LOOK LIKE

>> Doughy: GEE, I THOUGHT THAT
BIG KID SAID IT WOULD LOOK LIKE
A V...IRGIN MARY.

BIG KID SAID IT WOULD LOOK LIKE
A V...IRGIN MARY.
>> Orel: WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD



A V...IRGIN MARY.
>> Orel: WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
GO ASK YOUR DAD.

>> Orel: WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
GO ASK YOUR DAD.
DADS KNOW EVERYTHING.

GO ASK YOUR DAD.
DADS KNOW EVERYTHING.
>> Doughy: OKAY.

DADS KNOW EVERYTHING.
>> Doughy: OKAY.
HEY, MOM.

>> Doughy: OKAY.
HEY, MOM.
HEY, DAD.

HEY, MOM.
HEY, DAD.
[ RECORD SCRATCHES ]

HEY, DAD.
[ RECORD SCRATCHES ]
>> AH, THAT STUPID ROMANTIC

[ RECORD SCRATCHES ]
>> AH, THAT STUPID ROMANTIC
RECORD...

>> AH, THAT STUPID ROMANTIC
RECORD...
[ BOINGING, POPPING ]

RECORD...
[ BOINGING, POPPING ]
...OF SILLY SOUND EFFECTS.

[ BOINGING, POPPING ]
...OF SILLY SOUND EFFECTS.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]

...OF SILLY SOUND EFFECTS.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]
NOW WHAT DO YOU NEED?

[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]
NOW WHAT DO YOU NEED?
YOUR MOM AND I ARE A LITTLE

NOW WHAT DO YOU NEED?
YOUR MOM AND I ARE A LITTLE
BUSY.



YOUR MOM AND I ARE A LITTLE
BUSY.
>> Doughy: WELL, [CLEARS THROAT]

BUSY.
>> Doughy: WELL, [CLEARS THROAT]
DAD, I WAS WONDERING --

>> Doughy: WELL, [CLEARS THROAT]
DAD, I WAS WONDERING --
>> [ IMITATES BUZZER ]

DAD, I WAS WONDERING --
>> [ IMITATES BUZZER ]
TIME'S UP.

>> [ IMITATES BUZZER ]
TIME'S UP.
>> KARL!

TIME'S UP.
>> KARL!
[ GIGGLES ]

>> KARL!
[ GIGGLES ]
>> HERE, KID, MAKE YOURSELF

[ GIGGLES ]
>> HERE, KID, MAKE YOURSELF
SCARCE FOR A FEW HOURS, WILL

>> HERE, KID, MAKE YOURSELF
SCARCE FOR A FEW HOURS, WILL
YOU?

SCARCE FOR A FEW HOURS, WILL
YOU?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]

YOU?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Orel: HEY, DOUGHY, WHY DO

[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Orel: HEY, DOUGHY, WHY DO
YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS GIVE YOU

>> Orel: HEY, DOUGHY, WHY DO
YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS GIVE YOU
MONEY TO GO AWAY?

YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS GIVE YOU
MONEY TO GO AWAY?
>> Doughy: GOLLY, I DON'T KNOW.

MONEY TO GO AWAY?
>> Doughy: GOLLY, I DON'T KNOW.
TIMES MUST BE GOOD.

>> Doughy: GOLLY, I DON'T KNOW.
TIMES MUST BE GOOD.
>> Orel: THEY NEVER CALL YOU

TIMES MUST BE GOOD.
>> Orel: THEY NEVER CALL YOU
ANYTHING NICE, LIKE "SON" OR

>> Orel: THEY NEVER CALL YOU
ANYTHING NICE, LIKE "SON" OR
"DOUGHY."

ANYTHING NICE, LIKE "SON" OR
"DOUGHY."
>> Doughy: OH, UH, I NEVER

"DOUGHY."
>> Doughy: OH, UH, I NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.

>> Doughy: OH, UH, I NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.
THEY NEVER CALL ME SON.

THOUGHT OF THAT.
THEY NEVER CALL ME SON.
>> Orel: WELL, DON'T TAKE IT TOO

THEY NEVER CALL ME SON.
>> Orel: WELL, DON'T TAKE IT TOO
HARD, DOUGHY.

>> Orel: WELL, DON'T TAKE IT TOO
HARD, DOUGHY.
LIKE JESUS SAID --

HARD, DOUGHY.
LIKE JESUS SAID --
>> Doughy: OKAY!

LIKE JESUS SAID --
>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> HEY, OREL.

>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> HEY, OREL.
OH, HEY, DOUGHY.

>> HEY, OREL.
OH, HEY, DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: HI!

OH, HEY, DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: HI!
>> Orel: KIND OF LATE TO BE

>> Doughy: HI!
>> Orel: KIND OF LATE TO BE
SELLING CHILDREN SNACK TREATS,

>> Orel: KIND OF LATE TO BE
SELLING CHILDREN SNACK TREATS,
DON'T YOU THINK, MR. CREEPLER?

SELLING CHILDREN SNACK TREATS,
DON'T YOU THINK, MR. CREEPLER?
>> NEVER TOO LATE FOR A BOY LIKE

DON'T YOU THINK, MR. CREEPLER?
>> NEVER TOO LATE FOR A BOY LIKE
DOUGHY.

>> NEVER TOO LATE FOR A BOY LIKE
DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: OH, THANKS!

DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: OH, THANKS!
>> AW, I COULDN'T TAKE MONEY.

>> Doughy: OH, THANKS!
>> AW, I COULDN'T TAKE MONEY.
BUT YOU CAN HAVE A FREE TOUR OF

>> AW, I COULDN'T TAKE MONEY.
BUT YOU CAN HAVE A FREE TOUR OF
THE BACK OF MY ICE CREAM VAN.

BUT YOU CAN HAVE A FREE TOUR OF
THE BACK OF MY ICE CREAM VAN.
>> Doughy: MMM, NO, THANK YOU.

THE BACK OF MY ICE CREAM VAN.
>> Doughy: MMM, NO, THANK YOU.
BOY, OREL, I SURE DO HAVE A

>> Doughy: MMM, NO, THANK YOU.
BOY, OREL, I SURE DO HAVE A
GREAT LIFE -- ALWAYS GETTING TO

BOY, OREL, I SURE DO HAVE A
GREAT LIFE -- ALWAYS GETTING TO
DO WHAT I WANT AND NEVER HAVING

GREAT LIFE -- ALWAYS GETTING TO
DO WHAT I WANT AND NEVER HAVING
TO WORRY ABOUT GERMS FROM

DO WHAT I WANT AND NEVER HAVING
TO WORRY ABOUT GERMS FROM
HUGGING MY PARENTS OR ANYTHING.

TO WORRY ABOUT GERMS FROM
HUGGING MY PARENTS OR ANYTHING.
[ BELL RINGS ]

HUGGING MY PARENTS OR ANYTHING.
[ BELL RINGS ]
>> OH, A PRESENT.

[ BELL RINGS ]
>> OH, A PRESENT.
HOW GOOD.

>> OH, A PRESENT.
HOW GOOD.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO

HOW GOOD.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO
BE MY SPECIAL HELPER TODAY.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO
BE MY SPECIAL HELPER TODAY.
[ CRUNCH ]

BE MY SPECIAL HELPER TODAY.
[ CRUNCH ]
LET'S SEE.

[ CRUNCH ]
LET'S SEE.
KENNY, A-MINUS.

LET'S SEE.
KENNY, A-MINUS.
OREL, A-PLUS.

KENNY, A-MINUS.
OREL, A-PLUS.
OH, AND, DOUGHY, C-MINUS.

OREL, A-PLUS.
OH, AND, DOUGHY, C-MINUS.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THAT'S AN

OH, AND, DOUGHY, C-MINUS.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THAT'S AN
IMPROVEMENT, SON.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THAT'S AN
IMPROVEMENT, SON.
>> Doughy: [ GASPS ]

IMPROVEMENT, SON.
>> Doughy: [ GASPS ]
Son!

>> Doughy: [ GASPS ]
Son!
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

Son!
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
ISN'T MISS SCULPTHAM GREAT?

[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
ISN'T MISS SCULPTHAM GREAT?
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW THE

ISN'T MISS SCULPTHAM GREAT?
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW THE
CORNERS OF HER MOUTH CRINKLE

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW THE
CORNERS OF HER MOUTH CRINKLE
WHEN SHE FROWNS AT ME?

CORNERS OF HER MOUTH CRINKLE
WHEN SHE FROWNS AT ME?
AND HOW SHE DELIGHTFULLY ROLLS

WHEN SHE FROWNS AT ME?
AND HOW SHE DELIGHTFULLY ROLLS
HER EYES WHEN I ASK A QUESTION?

AND HOW SHE DELIGHTFULLY ROLLS
HER EYES WHEN I ASK A QUESTION?
>> Orel: I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

HER EYES WHEN I ASK A QUESTION?
>> Orel: I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOUR PARENTS HIDE THE KEY IN

>> Orel: I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOUR PARENTS HIDE THE KEY IN
A DIFFERENT PLACE EVERY DAY.

WHY YOUR PARENTS HIDE THE KEY IN
A DIFFERENT PLACE EVERY DAY.
>> Doughy: GOSH,

A DIFFERENT PLACE EVERY DAY.
>> Doughy: GOSH,
MISS SCULPTHAM'S PENMANSHIP IS

>> Doughy: GOSH,
MISS SCULPTHAM'S PENMANSHIP IS
IMPECCABLE, THE WAY SHE WRITES

MISS SCULPTHAM'S PENMANSHIP IS
IMPECCABLE, THE WAY SHE WRITES
HER D's AND F's -- JUST LIKE AN

IMPECCABLE, THE WAY SHE WRITES
HER D's AND F's -- JUST LIKE AN
ANGEL.

HER D's AND F's -- JUST LIKE AN
ANGEL.
>> Orel: GEE, DOUGHY, YOU SURE

ANGEL.
>> Orel: GEE, DOUGHY, YOU SURE
ARE TALKING A LOT ABOUT

>> Orel: GEE, DOUGHY, YOU SURE
ARE TALKING A LOT ABOUT
MISS SCULPTHAM.

ARE TALKING A LOT ABOUT
MISS SCULPTHAM.
>> Doughy: WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT

MISS SCULPTHAM.
>> Doughy: WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT
SOMEONE COULD LOVE ME AS MUCH AS

>> Doughy: WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT
SOMEONE COULD LOVE ME AS MUCH AS
SHE DOES.

SOMEONE COULD LOVE ME AS MUCH AS
SHE DOES.
>> Orel: REALLY?

SHE DOES.
>> Orel: REALLY?
>> Doughy: YEAH, SHE CALLS ME

>> Orel: REALLY?
>> Doughy: YEAH, SHE CALLS ME
"SON" AND EVEN PATTED ME ON THE

>> Doughy: YEAH, SHE CALLS ME
"SON" AND EVEN PATTED ME ON THE
SHOULDER ONCE.

"SON" AND EVEN PATTED ME ON THE
SHOULDER ONCE.
>> Orel: GEE, I GUESS YOU'RE

SHOULDER ONCE.
>> Orel: GEE, I GUESS YOU'RE
RIGHT.

>> Orel: GEE, I GUESS YOU'RE
RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW HER THAT

RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW HER THAT
YOU LOVE HER BACK.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW HER THAT
YOU LOVE HER BACK.
>> Doughy: HEY, DADS KNOW

YOU LOVE HER BACK.
>> Doughy: HEY, DADS KNOW
EVERYTHING.

>> Doughy: HEY, DADS KNOW
EVERYTHING.
I'LL ASK MY DAD...

EVERYTHING.
I'LL ASK MY DAD...
ONCE HE GETS HOME.

I'LL ASK MY DAD...
ONCE HE GETS HOME.
>> Orel: GOOD IDEA.

ONCE HE GETS HOME.
>> Orel: GOOD IDEA.
BYE, DOUGHY.

>> Orel: GOOD IDEA.
BYE, DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.

BYE, DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK

>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?

? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ?

ON THE WALL ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ?
? YOU TAKE ONE DOWN,

? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ?
? YOU TAKE ONE DOWN,
PASS IT AROUND ?

? YOU TAKE ONE DOWN,
PASS IT AROUND ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK

PASS IT AROUND ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?

? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?
[ Slower ] ? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK

ON THE WALL ?
[ Slower ] ? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?

[ Slower ] ? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ?

ON THE WALL ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ?
? YOU TAKE ONE DOWN,

? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ?
? YOU TAKE ONE DOWN,
PASS IT AROUND ?

? YOU TAKE ONE DOWN,
PASS IT AROUND ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK

PASS IT AROUND ?
? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?

? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?
[ Slower ] ? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK

ON THE WALL ?
[ Slower ] ? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?

[ Slower ] ? 99 BOTTLES OF MILK
ON THE WALL ?
[ BICYCLE BELL RINGS ]

ON THE WALL ?
[ BICYCLE BELL RINGS ]
>> OH.

[ BICYCLE BELL RINGS ]
>> OH.
UH, HEY, GUY.

>> OH.
UH, HEY, GUY.
>> Doughy: YOU WERE HOME THE

UH, HEY, GUY.
>> Doughy: YOU WERE HOME THE
WHOLE TIME?

>> Doughy: YOU WERE HOME THE
WHOLE TIME?
>> YEAH.

WHOLE TIME?
>> YEAH.
[ LAUGHS ]

>> YEAH.
[ LAUGHS ]
I LEFT THE KEY OUT HERE FOR YOU.

[ LAUGHS ]
I LEFT THE KEY OUT HERE FOR YOU.
YEAH, BRILLIANT, HUH?

I LEFT THE KEY OUT HERE FOR YOU.
YEAH, BRILLIANT, HUH?
>> Doughy: OH.

YEAH, BRILLIANT, HUH?
>> Doughy: OH.
DAD --

>> Doughy: OH.
DAD --
>> NOW WHAT?!

DAD --
>> NOW WHAT?!
>> Doughy: HOW DO YOU EXPRESS

>> NOW WHAT?!
>> Doughy: HOW DO YOU EXPRESS
LOVE FOR SOMEBODY?

>> Doughy: HOW DO YOU EXPRESS
LOVE FOR SOMEBODY?
>> UH-HUH, INTERESTING.

LOVE FOR SOMEBODY?
>> UH-HUH, INTERESTING.
LOOK.

>> UH-HUH, INTERESTING.
LOOK.
HERE'S A COUPLE OF BUCKS FOR

LOOK.
HERE'S A COUPLE OF BUCKS FOR
DINNER.

HERE'S A COUPLE OF BUCKS FOR
DINNER.
MOM AND I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT,

DINNER.
MOM AND I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT,
AND I'M DEFINITELY GETTING

MOM AND I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT,
AND I'M DEFINITELY GETTING
LUCKY, THANKS TO GOD'S SACRAMENT

AND I'M DEFINITELY GETTING
LUCKY, THANKS TO GOD'S SACRAMENT
OF AWESOME MARRIAGE.

>> OH, A PRESENT.
HOW GOOD.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO

HOW GOOD.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO
BE MY SPECIAL HELPER TODAY...

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO
BE MY SPECIAL HELPER TODAY...
[ ECHOING ]

HOW GOOD.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO
BE --

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING TO
BE --
>> Doughy: [ CLEARS THROAT ]

BE --
>> Doughy: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
>> HELLO!

>> Doughy: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
>> HELLO!
WHAT'S THIS?

>> HELLO!
WHAT'S THIS?
>> Doughy: I WANTED TO SHOW YOU

WHAT'S THIS?
>> Doughy: I WANTED TO SHOW YOU
MY LOVE.

>> Doughy: I WANTED TO SHOW YOU
MY LOVE.
>> DOUGHY, I CAN'T ACCEPT

MY LOVE.
>> DOUGHY, I CAN'T ACCEPT
THIS...

>> DOUGHY, I CAN'T ACCEPT
THIS...
WITHOUT MAKING YOU MY

THIS...
WITHOUT MAKING YOU MY
SUPER-SPECIAL HELPER OF THE DAY.

WITHOUT MAKING YOU MY
SUPER-SPECIAL HELPER OF THE DAY.
>> ? HEY, THERE, BABY,

SUPER-SPECIAL HELPER OF THE DAY.
>> ? HEY, THERE, BABY,
WHAT YA DOING TONIGHT? ?

>> ? HEY, THERE, BABY,
WHAT YA DOING TONIGHT? ?
? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK,

WHAT YA DOING TONIGHT? ?
? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK,
AND I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ?

? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK,
AND I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ?
? NOW WE'RE TOGETHER,

AND I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ?
? NOW WE'RE TOGETHER,
I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ?

? NOW WE'RE TOGETHER,
I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ?
? AND IT WON'T COME OUT

I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ?
? AND IT WON'T COME OUT
IN THE USUAL WAY ?

? AND IT WON'T COME OUT
IN THE USUAL WAY ?
>> Orel: BOY, DOUGHY, YOU SURE

IN THE USUAL WAY ?
>> Orel: BOY, DOUGHY, YOU SURE
WERE RIGHT.

>> Orel: BOY, DOUGHY, YOU SURE
WERE RIGHT.
MISS SCULPTHAM DOES LOVE YOU.

WERE RIGHT.
MISS SCULPTHAM DOES LOVE YOU.
>> Doughy: WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

MISS SCULPTHAM DOES LOVE YOU.
>> Doughy: WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?
>> Orel: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GIVE

>> Doughy: WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?
>> Orel: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GIVE
HER TOMORROW?

>> Orel: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GIVE
HER TOMORROW?
>> Doughy: WELL, I SPENT ALL MY

HER TOMORROW?
>> Doughy: WELL, I SPENT ALL MY
ALLOWANCE MONEY.

>> Doughy: WELL, I SPENT ALL MY
ALLOWANCE MONEY.
>> Orel: CAN YOU ASK YOUR

ALLOWANCE MONEY.
>> Orel: CAN YOU ASK YOUR
PARENTS FOR MORE?

>> Orel: CAN YOU ASK YOUR
PARENTS FOR MORE?
>> Doughy: HMM...I DON'T THINK I

PARENTS FOR MORE?
>> Doughy: HMM...I DON'T THINK I
SHOULD BOTHER THEM RIGHT NOW.

>> Doughy: HMM...I DON'T THINK I
SHOULD BOTHER THEM RIGHT NOW.
[ BOTH MOANING ]

SHOULD BOTHER THEM RIGHT NOW.
[ BOTH MOANING ]
>> Orel: WELL, HEY, I GOT IT!

[ BOTH MOANING ]
>> Orel: WELL, HEY, I GOT IT!
WHY DON'T YOU WRITE HER A NICE

>> Orel: WELL, HEY, I GOT IT!
WHY DON'T YOU WRITE HER A NICE
POEM?

WHY DON'T YOU WRITE HER A NICE
POEM?
>> Doughy: OKAY!

POEM?
>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> "YOUR SOUL IS SO PURE,

>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> "YOUR SOUL IS SO PURE,
OF FILTH IT IS SPECKLESS.

>> "YOUR SOUL IS SO PURE,
OF FILTH IT IS SPECKLESS.
I GAVE YOU MY HEART

OF FILTH IT IS SPECKLESS.
I GAVE YOU MY HEART
ALONG WITH A NECKLACE"?

I GAVE YOU MY HEART
ALONG WITH A NECKLACE"?
HOW MUCH DID THIS COST?

ALONG WITH A NECKLACE"?
HOW MUCH DID THIS COST?
>> Doughy: WELL...NOTHING.

HOW MUCH DID THIS COST?
>> Doughy: WELL...NOTHING.
I WROTE IT MYSELF AND DIDN'T

>> Doughy: WELL...NOTHING.
I WROTE IT MYSELF AND DIDN'T
CHARGE ME ANYTHING.

I WROTE IT MYSELF AND DIDN'T
CHARGE ME ANYTHING.
>> WELL, LOOKS LIKE I HAVE AN

CHARGE ME ANYTHING.
>> WELL, LOOKS LIKE I HAVE AN
OLD "NEW SPECIAL HELPER."

>> WELL, LOOKS LIKE I HAVE AN
OLD "NEW SPECIAL HELPER."
FIRST JOB, RETURN THIS TO

OLD "NEW SPECIAL HELPER."
FIRST JOB, RETURN THIS TO
DOUGHY.

FIRST JOB, RETURN THIS TO
DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: [ GROANING ]

DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: [ GROANING ]
OH, THIS JUST WON'T DO!

>> Doughy: [ GROANING ]
OH, THIS JUST WON'T DO!
MISS SCULPTHAM HAS VERY

OH, THIS JUST WON'T DO!
MISS SCULPTHAM HAS VERY
EXPENSIVE TASTES.

MISS SCULPTHAM HAS VERY
EXPENSIVE TASTES.
I'VE GOT TO GET MORE MONEY --

EXPENSIVE TASTES.
I'VE GOT TO GET MORE MONEY --
AND FAST!

I'VE GOT TO GET MORE MONEY --
AND FAST!
>> Orel: GEE, MR. CREEPLER'S

AND FAST!
>> Orel: GEE, MR. CREEPLER'S
BEEN PARKED OUTSIDE OF YOUR

>> Orel: GEE, MR. CREEPLER'S
BEEN PARKED OUTSIDE OF YOUR
HOUSE FOR HOURS NOW.

BEEN PARKED OUTSIDE OF YOUR
HOUSE FOR HOURS NOW.
>> Doughy: I KNOW.

HOUSE FOR HOURS NOW.
>> Doughy: I KNOW.
HE KEEPS ASKING ME TO GET INTO

>> Doughy: I KNOW.
HE KEEPS ASKING ME TO GET INTO
THE BACK OF HIS BORING, OLD

HE KEEPS ASKING ME TO GET INTO
THE BACK OF HIS BORING, OLD
ICE CREAM VAN.

THE BACK OF HIS BORING, OLD
ICE CREAM VAN.
>> Orel: WELL, GOSH, MAYBE HE'S

ICE CREAM VAN.
>> Orel: WELL, GOSH, MAYBE HE'S
JUST LONELY AND NEEDS A FRIEND.

>> Orel: WELL, GOSH, MAYBE HE'S
JUST LONELY AND NEEDS A FRIEND.
>> Doughy: SO WHAT?

JUST LONELY AND NEEDS A FRIEND.
>> Doughy: SO WHAT?
I DON'T WANT TO GET IN TO THE

>> Doughy: SO WHAT?
I DON'T WANT TO GET IN TO THE
BACK OF HIS VAN.

I DON'T WANT TO GET IN TO THE
BACK OF HIS VAN.
I WANT TO GO INTO

BACK OF HIS VAN.
I WANT TO GO INTO
MISS SCULPTHAM'S VAN.

I WANT TO GO INTO
MISS SCULPTHAM'S VAN.
>> Orel: HEY, I JUST GOT AN

MISS SCULPTHAM'S VAN.
>> Orel: HEY, I JUST GOT AN
IDEA!

>> Orel: HEY, I JUST GOT AN
IDEA!
SINCE MR. CREEPLER LIKES YOU,

IDEA!
SINCE MR. CREEPLER LIKES YOU,
MAYBE YOU COULD GET HIM TO GIVE

SINCE MR. CREEPLER LIKES YOU,
MAYBE YOU COULD GET HIM TO GIVE
YOU PRESENTS.

MAYBE YOU COULD GET HIM TO GIVE
YOU PRESENTS.
>> Doughy: WHY WOULD I WANT

YOU PRESENTS.
>> Doughy: WHY WOULD I WANT
PRESENTS FROM HIM?

>> Doughy: WHY WOULD I WANT
PRESENTS FROM HIM?
>> Orel: THEN YOU CAN GIVE

PRESENTS FROM HIM?
>> Orel: THEN YOU CAN GIVE
THOSE PRESENTS TO

>> Orel: THEN YOU CAN GIVE
THOSE PRESENTS TO
MISS SCULPTHAM.

THOSE PRESENTS TO
MISS SCULPTHAM.
>> Doughy: WOW, OREL!

MISS SCULPTHAM.
>> Doughy: WOW, OREL!
YOU SURE ARE SMART!

>> Doughy: WOW, OREL!
YOU SURE ARE SMART!
>> Orel: GOSH, DAD SAYS SMART

YOU SURE ARE SMART!
>> Orel: GOSH, DAD SAYS SMART
ALMOST NEVER MEANS RIGHTEOUS.

>> Orel: GOSH, DAD SAYS SMART
ALMOST NEVER MEANS RIGHTEOUS.
I BETTER GO MAKE SURE WE'RE

ALMOST NEVER MEANS RIGHTEOUS.
I BETTER GO MAKE SURE WE'RE
DOING THE RIGHT THING.

I BETTER GO MAKE SURE WE'RE
DOING THE RIGHT THING.
>> Doughy: OKAY!

DOING THE RIGHT THING.
>> Doughy: OKAY!
>> Shapey: [ GRUNTING ]

[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> Orel: HEY, MOM, IF A MAN
LIKES YOU, AND YOU DON'T LIKE

>> Orel: HEY, MOM, IF A MAN
LIKES YOU, AND YOU DON'T LIKE
HIM BACK, IS IT WRONG TO TAKE

LIKES YOU, AND YOU DON'T LIKE
HIM BACK, IS IT WRONG TO TAKE
PRESENTS FROM HIM?

HIM BACK, IS IT WRONG TO TAKE
PRESENTS FROM HIM?
>> Bloberta: OH, WHAT A

PRESENTS FROM HIM?
>> Bloberta: OH, WHAT A
MARVELOUS QUESTION.

>> Bloberta: OH, WHAT A
MARVELOUS QUESTION.
WE GIRLS DESERVE TO BE PAMPERED.

MARVELOUS QUESTION.
WE GIRLS DESERVE TO BE PAMPERED.
AND IF THAT MEANS TRICKING MEN

WE GIRLS DESERVE TO BE PAMPERED.
AND IF THAT MEANS TRICKING MEN
INTO BUYING US DRESSY HEAD HATS

AND IF THAT MEANS TRICKING MEN
INTO BUYING US DRESSY HEAD HATS
AND FANCY FINGER RINGS, THEN SO

INTO BUYING US DRESSY HEAD HATS
AND FANCY FINGER RINGS, THEN SO
BE IT.

AND FANCY FINGER RINGS, THEN SO
BE IT.
>> Orel: BUT DOESN'T THE BIBLE

BE IT.
>> Orel: BUT DOESN'T THE BIBLE
TELL US IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN

>> Orel: BUT DOESN'T THE BIBLE
TELL US IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN
TO RECEIVE?

TELL US IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN
TO RECEIVE?
>> Bloberta: AS A MATTER OF

TO RECEIVE?
>> Bloberta: AS A MATTER OF
FACT, NO.

>> Bloberta: AS A MATTER OF
FACT, NO.
IT NEVER, EVER SAYS THAT.

FACT, NO.
IT NEVER, EVER SAYS THAT.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

IT NEVER, EVER SAYS THAT.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER,

ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER,
EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER...

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER,
EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER...
>> Orel: HOWDY, MR. CREEPLER.

EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER...
>> Orel: HOWDY, MR. CREEPLER.
>> HEY, OREL.

>> Orel: HOWDY, MR. CREEPLER.
>> HEY, OREL.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?

>> HEY, OREL.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?
>> Orel: I CAME BY TO TALK ABOUT

WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?
>> Orel: I CAME BY TO TALK ABOUT
MY FRIEND DOUGHY.

>> Orel: I CAME BY TO TALK ABOUT
MY FRIEND DOUGHY.
I THINK HE KIND OF LIKES YOU.

MY FRIEND DOUGHY.
I THINK HE KIND OF LIKES YOU.
>> ENOUGH TO GET IN THE BACK OF

I THINK HE KIND OF LIKES YOU.
>> ENOUGH TO GET IN THE BACK OF
MY VAN?

>> ENOUGH TO GET IN THE BACK OF
MY VAN?
>> Orel: WELL, SOME PEOPLE

MY VAN?
>> Orel: WELL, SOME PEOPLE
REALLY LIKE PRESENTS.

>> Orel: WELL, SOME PEOPLE
REALLY LIKE PRESENTS.
>> PRESENTS, HUH?

REALLY LIKE PRESENTS.
>> PRESENTS, HUH?
WELL, WHAT WOULD HE WANT?

>> PRESENTS, HUH?
WELL, WHAT WOULD HE WANT?
>> Orel: HE HAS RATHER EXPENSIVE

WELL, WHAT WOULD HE WANT?
>> Orel: HE HAS RATHER EXPENSIVE
TASTES.

>> Orel: HE HAS RATHER EXPENSIVE
TASTES.
>> ? THINKING OF YOU

TASTES.
>> ? THINKING OF YOU
WHEN I'M BY MYSELF ?

>> ? THINKING OF YOU
WHEN I'M BY MYSELF ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?

WHEN I'M BY MYSELF ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT

? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT
WITH SOMEONE ELSE ?

? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT
WITH SOMEONE ELSE ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?

WITH SOMEONE ELSE ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
? YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH

? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
? YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH
WHEN YOU'RE IN HEAT ?

? TAKING ALL COMERS

AND NOT BEING DISCREET ?

? YOU'RE A BIG LIAR,
AND YOU'RE LYING TO ME ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME O-O-ON ?

AND YOU'RE LYING TO ME ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME O-O-ON ?
? I DON'T CARE

? YOU KEEP TURNING ME O-O-ON ?
? I DON'T CARE
WHO OR WHERE YOU BEEN

? I DON'T CARE
WHO OR WHERE YOU BEEN
OR WHAT YOU DID ?

WHO OR WHERE YOU BEEN
OR WHAT YOU DID ?
? YOU'RE WITH ME NOW ?

OR WHAT YOU DID ?
? YOU'RE WITH ME NOW ?
? ALL YOUR MAD TIRADES

? YOU'RE WITH ME NOW ?
? ALL YOUR MAD TIRADES
AND THE GAMES YOU PLAY ?

? ALL YOUR MAD TIRADES
AND THE GAMES YOU PLAY ?
? DOESN'T MATTER

AND THE GAMES YOU PLAY ?
? DOESN'T MATTER
'CAUSE I LOVE YOU ANYWAY ?

? DOESN'T MATTER
'CAUSE I LOVE YOU ANYWAY ?
? I'M SO HAPPY,

'CAUSE I LOVE YOU ANYWAY ?
? I'M SO HAPPY,
AND I WANTED TO SAY ?

? I'M SO HAPPY,
AND I WANTED TO SAY ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?

AND I WANTED TO SAY ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?

? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
>> DOUGHY, I WANTED TO THANK YOU

? YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?
>> DOUGHY, I WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR THAT TRIP TO PARIS...THE

>> DOUGHY, I WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR THAT TRIP TO PARIS...THE
CITY YOU LOVE...TO HATE.

FOR THAT TRIP TO PARIS...THE
CITY YOU LOVE...TO HATE.
>> Doughy: OH, IT WAS MY

CITY YOU LOVE...TO HATE.
>> Doughy: OH, IT WAS MY
PLEASURE.

>> Doughy: OH, IT WAS MY
PLEASURE.
>> GOOD, BECAUSE HERE'S A FEW

PLEASURE.
>> GOOD, BECAUSE HERE'S A FEW
OTHER THINGS YOU CAN GET ME FOR

>> GOOD, BECAUSE HERE'S A FEW
OTHER THINGS YOU CAN GET ME FOR
YOUR PLEASURE.

OTHER THINGS YOU CAN GET ME FOR
YOUR PLEASURE.
>> Doughy: AFTER I GET YOU ALL

YOUR PLEASURE.
>> Doughy: AFTER I GET YOU ALL
THESE THINGS, THEN CAN WE GO

>> Doughy: AFTER I GET YOU ALL
THESE THINGS, THEN CAN WE GO
STEADY?

THESE THINGS, THEN CAN WE GO
STEADY?
>> WELL, IF YOU GET ME ALL THESE

STEADY?
>> WELL, IF YOU GET ME ALL THESE
THINGS, PLUS OTHER THINGS, THEN

>> WELL, IF YOU GET ME ALL THESE
THINGS, PLUS OTHER THINGS, THEN
THAT EQUALS MAYBE.

THINGS, PLUS OTHER THINGS, THEN
THAT EQUALS MAYBE.
>> Doughy: MISS SCULPTHAM, I-I

THAT EQUALS MAYBE.
>> Doughy: MISS SCULPTHAM, I-I
DON'T THINK YOU LOVE ME AT ALL.

>> Doughy: MISS SCULPTHAM, I-I
DON'T THINK YOU LOVE ME AT ALL.
I'VE BEEN A FOOL.

DON'T THINK YOU LOVE ME AT ALL.
I'VE BEEN A FOOL.
LOVE ISN'T TAKING.

I'VE BEEN A FOOL.
LOVE ISN'T TAKING.
LOVE IS GIVING.

LOVE ISN'T TAKING.
LOVE IS GIVING.
AND I HAVE SOME GIVING BACK TO

LOVE IS GIVING.
AND I HAVE SOME GIVING BACK TO
DO.

[ PANTING ]
>> Orel: DOUGHY, WHERE ARE YOU
GOING?

>> Orel: DOUGHY, WHERE ARE YOU
GOING?
>> Doughy: WHERE I SHOULD HAVE

GOING?
>> Doughy: WHERE I SHOULD HAVE
GONE FROM THE BEGINNING.

>> Doughy: WHERE I SHOULD HAVE
GONE FROM THE BEGINNING.
OUT OF MY WAY!

GONE FROM THE BEGINNING.
OUT OF MY WAY!
>> HEY!

OUT OF MY WAY!
>> HEY!
>> Doughy: MR. CREEPLER?

>> HEY!
>> Doughy: MR. CREEPLER?
>> DOUGHY.

>> Doughy: MR. CREEPLER?
>> DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: I ALMOST MADE A BIG

>> DOUGHY.
>> Doughy: I ALMOST MADE A BIG
MISTAKE.

>> Doughy: I ALMOST MADE A BIG
MISTAKE.
LET'S GET IN THE BACK OF THIS

MISTAKE.
LET'S GET IN THE BACK OF THIS
VAN OF YOURS.

>> ? HEY -- ?
>> Doughy: EWW!
YIKES!

>> Doughy: EWW!
YIKES!
>> WHAT?

YIKES!
>> WHAT?
>> Doughy: COME ON, OREL.

>> WHAT?
>> Doughy: COME ON, OREL.
I'M THROUGH WITH ROMANCE...

>> Doughy: COME ON, OREL.
I'M THROUGH WITH ROMANCE...
FOREVER.

>> Orel: GEE, DOUGHY, YOUR
PARENTS REALLY DO LOVE YOU,
AFTER ALL.

PARENTS REALLY DO LOVE YOU,
AFTER ALL.
THEY GIVE YOU MONEY, AND THEY

AFTER ALL.
THEY GIVE YOU MONEY, AND THEY
DON'T EVER WANT ANYTHING IN

THEY GIVE YOU MONEY, AND THEY
DON'T EVER WANT ANYTHING IN
RETURN -- NOT EVEN YOU.

DON'T EVER WANT ANYTHING IN
RETURN -- NOT EVEN YOU.
>> Doughy: SAY, I GUESS YOU'RE

RETURN -- NOT EVEN YOU.
>> Doughy: SAY, I GUESS YOU'RE
RIGHT, OREL.

>> Doughy: SAY, I GUESS YOU'RE
RIGHT, OREL.
I REALLY DO HAVE A GREAT LIFE!

RIGHT, OREL.
I REALLY DO HAVE A GREAT LIFE!
>> Orel: BYE, DOUGHY!

I REALLY DO HAVE A GREAT LIFE!
>> Orel: BYE, DOUGHY!
>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.

>> Orel: BYE, DOUGHY!
>> Doughy: BYE, OREL.
[ MOANING AND KISSING ]

>> ? LIKE THE WIND BLOWS
AND LIKE THE GRASS GROWS,
AS THE RIVER FLOWS,

AND LIKE THE GRASS GROWS,
AS THE RIVER FLOWS,
LIKE A MOTHER KNOWS ?

AS THE RIVER FLOWS,
LIKE A MOTHER KNOWS ?
? YOU WERE MY SECRET HEART ?

LIKE A MOTHER KNOWS ?
? YOU WERE MY SECRET HEART ?
? YOU RILED ME UP TO SING

? YOU WERE MY SECRET HEART ?
? YOU RILED ME UP TO SING
AND GOT ME PISSED

? YOU RILED ME UP TO SING
AND GOT ME PISSED
AT EVERYTHING ?

AND GOT ME PISSED
AT EVERYTHING ?
? WITH A HEART SO COLD,

AT EVERYTHING ?
? WITH A HEART SO COLD,
OH, I'M GETTING OLD ?

? WITH A HEART SO COLD,
OH, I'M GETTING OLD ?
? YOU GOT ME BOUGHT AND SOLD ?

OH, I'M GETTING OLD ?
? YOU GOT ME BOUGHT AND SOLD ?
? I'LL DO WHAT I'M TOLD

? YOU GOT ME BOUGHT AND SOLD ?
? I'LL DO WHAT I'M TOLD
BECAUSE YOU BANG MY GONG ?

? I'LL DO WHAT I'M TOLD
BECAUSE YOU BANG MY GONG ?
? YEAH, YOU KEEP TURNING ME ON ?