Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 2, Episode 12 - Repression - full transcript
Cheating on his wife with Nurse Bendy, Principal Fakey has trouble with this most fundamental of Protestant practices.
[ FANFARE ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
>> [ Nasally ] PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S
OFFICE.
OH, HELLO, MRS. FAKEY.
OFFICE.
OH, HELLO, MRS. FAKEY.
NO, HE'S OUT HAVING LUNCH.
OH, HELLO, MRS. FAKEY.
NO, HE'S OUT HAVING LUNCH.
SURE.
NO, HE'S OUT HAVING LUNCH.
SURE.
HE'LL BE SORRY HE MISSED YOU.
SURE.
HE'LL BE SORRY HE MISSED YOU.
WHEW!
HE'LL BE SORRY HE MISSED YOU.
WHEW!
[ Masculine voice ] WHAT A DAY.
WHEW!
[ Masculine voice ] WHAT A DAY.
>> Fakey: LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
[ Masculine voice ] WHAT A DAY.
>> Fakey: LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
>> Fakey: LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE...
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE...
>> THIS SANDWICH IS DRY.
LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE...
>> THIS SANDWICH IS DRY.
>> Fakey: ...YOU, YOU, I LOVE
>> THIS SANDWICH IS DRY.
>> Fakey: ...YOU, YOU, I LOVE
YOU, LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU,
>> Fakey: ...YOU, YOU, I LOVE
YOU, LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
YOU, LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU!
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU!
YES, BLISS!
LOVE YOU!
YES, BLISS!
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE,
YES, BLISS!
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE,
NURSE BENDY!
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE,
NURSE BENDY!
YES, YES!
NURSE BENDY!
YES, YES!
I'M SO HAPPY!
YES, YES!
I'M SO HAPPY!
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
I'M SO HAPPY!
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
OHHHHHHHH!
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
OHHHHHHHH!
OHH, I HATE MYSELF!
OHHHHHHHH!
OHH, I HATE MYSELF!
I HAVE A LOVING WIFE.
OHH, I HATE MYSELF!
I HAVE A LOVING WIFE.
WHAT AM I DOING?
I HAVE A LOVING WIFE.
WHAT AM I DOING?
>> CAN I GET A RIDE BACK TO
WHAT AM I DOING?
>> CAN I GET A RIDE BACK TO
SCHOOL WITH YOU?
>> CAN I GET A RIDE BACK TO
SCHOOL WITH YOU?
>> Fakey: OH, WHAT AM I GOING TO
SCHOOL WITH YOU?
>> Fakey: OH, WHAT AM I GOING TO
DO?
HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR I FEEL
GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: NURSE BENDY
GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: NURSE BENDY
AGAIN?
>> Rev. Putty: NURSE BENDY
AGAIN?
>> Fakey: IT'S AWFUL, IT'S
AGAIN?
>> Fakey: IT'S AWFUL, IT'S
WRONG, AND I CAN'T STOP.
>> Fakey: IT'S AWFUL, IT'S
WRONG, AND I CAN'T STOP.
SHE'S A TIGRESS.
WRONG, AND I CAN'T STOP.
SHE'S A TIGRESS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
SHE'S A TIGRESS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID SHE DO?
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID SHE DO?
>> Fakey: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
WHAT DID SHE DO?
>> Fakey: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
>> Fakey: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
ABOUT IT.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: NO.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: NO.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON!
>> Fakey: NO.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON!
>> Fakey: I CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON!
>> Fakey: I CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: I CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: REVEREND, PLEASE.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: REVEREND, PLEASE.
I DIDN'T COME TO THE
>> Fakey: REVEREND, PLEASE.
I DIDN'T COME TO THE
REPRESSIONAL TO TALK ABOUT MY
I DIDN'T COME TO THE
REPRESSIONAL TO TALK ABOUT MY
SINS.
REPRESSIONAL TO TALK ABOUT MY
SINS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, RIGHT.
SINS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, RIGHT.
[ SIGHS ] SORRY.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, RIGHT.
[ SIGHS ] SORRY.
UH, LOOK, JUST TRY NOT TO THINK
[ SIGHS ] SORRY.
UH, LOOK, JUST TRY NOT TO THINK
ABOUT IT.
UH, LOOK, JUST TRY NOT TO THINK
ABOUT IT.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.
ABOUT IT.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.
>> Fakey: THAT IS EASY TO SAY.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.
>> Fakey: THAT IS EASY TO SAY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU CAN DO IT.
>> Fakey: THAT IS EASY TO SAY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU CAN DO IT.
DISTRACT YOURSELF.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU CAN DO IT.
DISTRACT YOURSELF.
GIVE YOUR WIFE A BABY.
DISTRACT YOURSELF.
GIVE YOUR WIFE A BABY.
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A
GIVE YOUR WIFE A BABY.
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A
GOOD HUSBAND.
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A
GOOD HUSBAND.
JUST PRETEND.
GOOD HUSBAND.
JUST PRETEND.
>> Fakey: OH, GOD!
JUST PRETEND.
>> Fakey: OH, GOD!
I HAVE A TRUSTING, BEAUTIFUL
>> Fakey: OH, GOD!
I HAVE A TRUSTING, BEAUTIFUL
WIFE WHO LOVES ME.
I HAVE A TRUSTING, BEAUTIFUL
WIFE WHO LOVES ME.
>> Rev. Putty: ALL RIGHT,
WIFE WHO LOVES ME.
>> Rev. Putty: ALL RIGHT,
HOTSHOT, I GET IT.
>> Rev. Putty: ALL RIGHT,
HOTSHOT, I GET IT.
QUIT BRAGGING.
HOTSHOT, I GET IT.
QUIT BRAGGING.
JEEZ.
QUIT BRAGGING.
JEEZ.
>> Fakey: [ SOBS ]
JEEZ.
>> Fakey: [ SOBS ]
>> Rev. Putty: COULD YOU QUIT
>> Fakey: [ SOBS ]
>> Rev. Putty: COULD YOU QUIT
YOUR BLUBBERING AND MEET ME
>> Rev. Putty: COULD YOU QUIT
YOUR BLUBBERING AND MEET ME
HALFWAY HERE?
YOUR BLUBBERING AND MEET ME
HALFWAY HERE?
LET'S GO.
HALFWAY HERE?
LET'S GO.
START BURYING.
LET'S GO.
START BURYING.
>> Fakey: [ GRUNTING ]
START BURYING.
>> Fakey: [ GRUNTING ]
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON, ALICE.
>> Fakey: [ GRUNTING ]
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON, ALICE.
PUT SOME ELBOW GREASE INTO IT.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON, ALICE.
PUT SOME ELBOW GREASE INTO IT.
HARDER.
PUT SOME ELBOW GREASE INTO IT.
HARDER.
HARDER!
HARDER.
HARDER!
BURY IT!
HARDER!
BURY IT!
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
BURY IT!
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
OH, IT'S NO USE.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I JUST CAN'T.
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I JUST CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
I JUST CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
JUST SAY TWO "IT WASN'T MEs"
OKAY.
JUST SAY TWO "IT WASN'T MEs"
AND THREE "I BLAME MY FATHERs."
JUST SAY TWO "IT WASN'T MEs"
AND THREE "I BLAME MY FATHERs."
YOU'LL BE FINE.
AND THREE "I BLAME MY FATHERs."
YOU'LL BE FINE.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
YOU'LL BE FINE.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
>> Rev. Putty: SO, DOES
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
>> Rev. Putty: SO, DOES
NURSE BENDY'S PULPIT MATCH HER
>> Rev. Putty: SO, DOES
NURSE BENDY'S PULPIT MATCH HER
STEEPLE?
NURSE BENDY'S PULPIT MATCH HER
STEEPLE?
JERK.
STEEPLE?
JERK.
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
JERK.
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
[ CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> OH, HOWDY, LOVER.
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
WHAT A BORING DAY.
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
WHAT A BORING DAY.
>> YOU WANT TO MAKE IT NOT
WHAT A BORING DAY.
>> YOU WANT TO MAKE IT NOT
BORING?
>> YOU WANT TO MAKE IT NOT
BORING?
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
BORING?
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
BE HARD TO DO, YOU KNOW.
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
BE HARD TO DO, YOU KNOW.
THAT NURSE BENDY SURE CAN...
BE HARD TO DO, YOU KNOW.
THAT NURSE BENDY SURE CAN...
[ YAWNS ]
THAT NURSE BENDY SURE CAN...
[ YAWNS ]
...DULL YOUR EAR OFF.
[ YAWNS ]
...DULL YOUR EAR OFF.
>> YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
...DULL YOUR EAR OFF.
>> YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
HER.
>> YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
HER.
>> Fakey: YEAH, HOW BORING SHE
HER.
>> Fakey: YEAH, HOW BORING SHE
IS.
>> Fakey: YEAH, HOW BORING SHE
IS.
WHEW!
IS.
WHEW!
THE ONLY THING MY MOUTH DOES IN
WHEW!
THE ONLY THING MY MOUTH DOES IN
RELATION TO HER IS...
THE ONLY THING MY MOUTH DOES IN
RELATION TO HER IS...
[ YAWNS ]
RELATION TO HER IS...
[ YAWNS ]
...YAWN.
[ YAWNS ]
...YAWN.
OKAY.
...YAWN.
OKAY.
[ YAWNS ]
OKAY.
[ YAWNS ]
TIME TO HIT THE SACK.
[ YAWNS ]
TIME TO HIT THE SACK.
[ SNORES ]
TIME TO HIT THE SACK.
[ SNORES ]
>> [ GROANS ]
[ SNORES ]
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S ALREADY STARTED.
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S ALREADY STARTED.
OH, BOY.
[ WHIMPERING ]
>> HUH?
THAT'S WEIRD.
>> Fakey: HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL,
THAT'S WEIRD.
>> Fakey: HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL,
LITTLE ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> Fakey: HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL,
LITTLE ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL BLOSSOM.
LITTLE ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> Fakey: I HAVE SOMETHING TO
>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> Fakey: I HAVE SOMETHING TO
TELL YOU.
>> Fakey: I HAVE SOMETHING TO
TELL YOU.
>> WHAT?!
TELL YOU.
>> WHAT?!
I MEAN, GREAT.
>> WHAT?!
I MEAN, GREAT.
>> Fakey: LOOK, THIS ISN'T
I MEAN, GREAT.
>> Fakey: LOOK, THIS ISN'T
WORKING OUT.
>> Fakey: LOOK, THIS ISN'T
WORKING OUT.
WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
WORKING OUT.
WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
>> Fakey: I KNOW.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
>> Fakey: I KNOW.
IT KILLS ME, TOO, BUT THE GUILT
>> Fakey: I KNOW.
IT KILLS ME, TOO, BUT THE GUILT
IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
IT KILLS ME, TOO, BUT THE GUILT
IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
I LOVE MY WIFE.
IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
I LOVE MY WIFE.
GOD, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I LOVE MY WIFE.
GOD, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I HAVE TO HAVE YOU NOW -- WITH
GOD, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I HAVE TO HAVE YOU NOW -- WITH
MY PANTS ON!
I HAVE TO HAVE YOU NOW -- WITH
MY PANTS ON!
I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU, I NEED
MY PANTS ON!
I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU, I NEED
YOU!
I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU, I NEED
YOU!
THIS IS IT!
YOU!
THIS IS IT!
I LOVE YOU!
THIS IS IT!
I LOVE YOU!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
I LOVE YOU!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
[ Sobbing ] WO-O-O-O-O-E IS ME!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
[ Sobbing ] WO-O-O-O-O-E IS ME!
I HATE ME.
[ Sobbing ] WO-O-O-O-O-E IS ME!
I HATE ME.
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
I HATE ME.
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL.
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL.
I SHOULD -- I SHOULD CUT IT OFF.
I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL.
I SHOULD -- I SHOULD CUT IT OFF.
I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF.
I SHOULD -- I SHOULD CUT IT OFF.
I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF.
GIVE ME A SCALPEL.
I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF.
GIVE ME A SCALPEL.
>> Orel: GOLLY.
GIVE ME A SCALPEL.
>> Orel: GOLLY.
>> Fakey: AAH! OREL!
>> Orel: GOLLY.
>> Fakey: AAH! OREL!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY, WHY DO
>> Fakey: AAH! OREL!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY, WHY DO
YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HELL, AND
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY, WHY DO
YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HELL, AND
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CUT OFF?
YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HELL, AND
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CUT OFF?
>> Fakey: YAWN!
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CUT OFF?
>> Fakey: YAWN!
OH, WHAT A HUMDRUM DAY.
>> Fakey: YAWN!
OH, WHAT A HUMDRUM DAY.
OH! [ SNORES ]
>> Clay: [ SLURPS ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
I MEAN, COME IN.
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
I MEAN, COME IN.
>> [ SQUEALS ]
I MEAN, COME IN.
>> [ SQUEALS ]
YAY! BREAK!
>> [ SQUEALS ]
YAY! BREAK!
>> Clay: OREL, LOOK WHAT YOU LET
YAY! BREAK!
>> Clay: OREL, LOOK WHAT YOU LET
IN!
>> Clay: OREL, LOOK WHAT YOU LET
IN!
SCAT, SHAPEY. SHOO, SHOO.
IN!
SCAT, SHAPEY. SHOO, SHOO.
>> Orel: DAD, THAT'S NOT SHA--
SCAT, SHAPEY. SHOO, SHOO.
>> Orel: DAD, THAT'S NOT SHA--
>> Clay: WHAT'S UP, SON?
>> Orel: DAD, THAT'S NOT SHA--
>> Clay: WHAT'S UP, SON?
>> Orel: WELL, I KNOW I'M NOT
>> Clay: WHAT'S UP, SON?
>> Orel: WELL, I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO QUESTION AUTHORITY.
>> Orel: WELL, I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO QUESTION AUTHORITY.
>> Clay: THEN CASE CLOSED.
SUPPOSED TO QUESTION AUTHORITY.
>> Clay: THEN CASE CLOSED.
>> Orel: BUT...
>> Clay: THEN CASE CLOSED.
>> Orel: BUT...
>> Clay: [ SIGHS ]
>> Orel: BUT...
>> Clay: [ SIGHS ]
HOLD ON.
>> Clay: [ SIGHS ]
HOLD ON.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
HOLD ON.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
OKAY.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
OKAY.
BUT WHAT?
OKAY.
BUT WHAT?
>> Orel: BUT W-WHAT IF AN
BUT WHAT?
>> Orel: BUT W-WHAT IF AN
AUTHORITY FIGURE IS DOING
>> Orel: BUT W-WHAT IF AN
AUTHORITY FIGURE IS DOING
SOMETHING THAT EVEN HE THINKS IS
AUTHORITY FIGURE IS DOING
SOMETHING THAT EVEN HE THINKS IS
WRONG?
SOMETHING THAT EVEN HE THINKS IS
WRONG?
>> Clay: OH, OREL, AUTHORITY
WRONG?
>> Clay: OH, OREL, AUTHORITY
FIGURES NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
>> Clay: OH, OREL, AUTHORITY
FIGURES NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM WHO THEY
FIGURES NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM WHO THEY
ARE.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM WHO THEY
ARE.
YOU SEE, THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
ARE.
YOU SEE, THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO MAGICALLY MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
YOU SEE, THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO MAGICALLY MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN THEY DO
TO MAGICALLY MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN THEY DO
THAT IF IT'S THEIR OWN
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN THEY DO
THAT IF IT'S THEIR OWN
CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING
THAT IF IT'S THEIR OWN
CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING
THEM?
CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING
THEM?
>> Clay: CONSCIENCE?
THEM?
>> Clay: CONSCIENCE?
BUDDY, THE CONSCIENCE IS THE
>> Clay: CONSCIENCE?
BUDDY, THE CONSCIENCE IS THE
FIRST THING AN AUTHORITY FIGURE
BUDDY, THE CONSCIENCE IS THE
FIRST THING AN AUTHORITY FIGURE
HAS AUTHORITY OVER.
FIRST THING AN AUTHORITY FIGURE
HAS AUTHORITY OVER.
WHY, HE CAN REPRESS THAT
HAS AUTHORITY OVER.
WHY, HE CAN REPRESS THAT
BOTHERSOME LITTLE FELLOW IN NO
WHY, HE CAN REPRESS THAT
BOTHERSOME LITTLE FELLOW IN NO
SECONDS FLAT.
BOTHERSOME LITTLE FELLOW IN NO
SECONDS FLAT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN HE REPRESS
SECONDS FLAT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN HE REPRESS
IT?
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN HE REPRESS
IT?
>> Clay: BY REALIZING THE
IT?
>> Clay: BY REALIZING THE
AGE-OLD SECRET -- REPRESSION IS
>> Clay: BY REALIZING THE
AGE-OLD SECRET -- REPRESSION IS
THE ANTIDOTE TO THE APPLE.
AGE-OLD SECRET -- REPRESSION IS
THE ANTIDOTE TO THE APPLE.
>> Orel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAD?
THE ANTIDOTE TO THE APPLE.
>> Orel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAD?
>> Clay: WELL, SIR, WHEN ADAM
>> Orel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAD?
>> Clay: WELL, SIR, WHEN ADAM
AND EVE BIT INTO THE APPLE OF
>> Clay: WELL, SIR, WHEN ADAM
AND EVE BIT INTO THE APPLE OF
KNOWLEDGE, THEY REALIZED...
AND EVE BIT INTO THE APPLE OF
KNOWLEDGE, THEY REALIZED...
>> Orel: HI, GOD.
KNOWLEDGE, THEY REALIZED...
>> Orel: HI, GOD.
IT'S THAT TIME OF DAY AGAIN WHEN
>> Orel: HI, GOD.
IT'S THAT TIME OF DAY AGAIN WHEN
I CHECK IN.
IT'S THAT TIME OF DAY AGAIN WHEN
I CHECK IN.
HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY UP IN
I CHECK IN.
HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY UP IN
HEAVEN.
HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY UP IN
HEAVEN.
MORALTON'S BEEN FAIRLY RIGHTEOUS
HEAVEN.
MORALTON'S BEEN FAIRLY RIGHTEOUS
LATELY.
MORALTON'S BEEN FAIRLY RIGHTEOUS
LATELY.
I SAY "FAIRLY" BECAUSE I'M A
LATELY.
I SAY "FAIRLY" BECAUSE I'M A
LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
I SAY "FAIRLY" BECAUSE I'M A
LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE --
PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE --
>> Fakey: [ MOANING, MUTTERING ]
HE SEEMS A LITTLE --
>> Fakey: [ MOANING, MUTTERING ]
>> Rev. Putty: WE JUST CLOSED.
>> Fakey: [ MOANING, MUTTERING ]
>> Rev. Putty: WE JUST CLOSED.
>> Fakey: PLEASE, REVEREND, I'M
>> Rev. Putty: WE JUST CLOSED.
>> Fakey: PLEASE, REVEREND, I'M
AT MY WITS' END!
>> Fakey: PLEASE, REVEREND, I'M
AT MY WITS' END!
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, EITHER STOP
AT MY WITS' END!
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, EITHER STOP
BRAGGING OR COME THROUGH WITH
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, EITHER STOP
BRAGGING OR COME THROUGH WITH
SOME JUICY DETAILS.
BRAGGING OR COME THROUGH WITH
SOME JUICY DETAILS.
>> Fakey: REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
SOME JUICY DETAILS.
>> Fakey: REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
GUILT IS OVERWHELMING.
>> Fakey: REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
GUILT IS OVERWHELMING.
>> Rev. Putty: GEE, I WONDER
GUILT IS OVERWHELMING.
>> Rev. Putty: GEE, I WONDER
WHY.
>> Rev. Putty: GEE, I WONDER
WHY.
YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A MISTRESS.
WHY.
YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A MISTRESS.
MOST PEOPLE HAVE EITHER/OR.
YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A MISTRESS.
MOST PEOPLE HAVE EITHER/OR.
AND SOME HAVE NONE!
MOST PEOPLE HAVE EITHER/OR.
AND SOME HAVE NONE!
>> Fakey: [ Sobbing ] PLEASE!
AND SOME HAVE NONE!
>> Fakey: [ Sobbing ] PLEASE!
CAN I COME IN?!
>> Fakey: [ Sobbing ] PLEASE!
CAN I COME IN?!
>> Rev. Putty: WHY SHOULD I HELP
CAN I COME IN?!
>> Rev. Putty: WHY SHOULD I HELP
YOU REPRESS YOUR GUILT?
>> Rev. Putty: WHY SHOULD I HELP
YOU REPRESS YOUR GUILT?
WHAT DO I GET OUT OF YOU LYING
YOU REPRESS YOUR GUILT?
WHAT DO I GET OUT OF YOU LYING
TO YOURSELF?
WHAT DO I GET OUT OF YOU LYING
TO YOURSELF?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU MOVING
TO YOURSELF?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU MOVING
IN ON EVERY OTHER SINGLE WOMAN
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU MOVING
IN ON EVERY OTHER SINGLE WOMAN
IN MORALTON, THAT'S WHAT --
IN ON EVERY OTHER SINGLE WOMAN
IN MORALTON, THAT'S WHAT --
LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING.
IN MORALTON, THAT'S WHAT --
LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING.
>> Fakey: NO, NO, I DON'T
LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING.
>> Fakey: NO, NO, I DON'T
WANT --
>> Fakey: NO, NO, I DON'T
WANT --
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, UNH-UNH.
WANT --
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, UNH-UNH.
NO GO.
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, UNH-UNH.
NO GO.
SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE FISH,
NO GO.
SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE FISH,
BUDDY.
SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE FISH,
BUDDY.
>> Fakey: [ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
BUDDY.
>> Fakey: [ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REVEREND, STOP.
>> Fakey: [ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REVEREND, STOP.
[ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REVEREND, STOP.
[ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REV!
[ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REV!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY?
REV!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY?
>> Fakey: HUH?
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY?
>> Fakey: HUH?
OH.
>> Fakey: HUH?
OH.
>> Orel: I KNOW I'M JUST A
OH.
>> Orel: I KNOW I'M JUST A
LITTLE BOY, BUT, GOSH, I SURE
>> Orel: I KNOW I'M JUST A
LITTLE BOY, BUT, GOSH, I SURE
WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU.
LITTLE BOY, BUT, GOSH, I SURE
WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU.
>> Fakey: OH.
WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU.
>> Fakey: OH.
[ SNIFFLES ]
>> Fakey: OH.
[ SNIFFLES ]
>> Orel: YOU ARE AN AUTHORITY
[ SNIFFLES ]
>> Orel: YOU ARE AN AUTHORITY
FIGURE HERE IN MORALTON.
>> Orel: YOU ARE AN AUTHORITY
FIGURE HERE IN MORALTON.
WE COUNT ON YOU TO SHOW US
FIGURE HERE IN MORALTON.
WE COUNT ON YOU TO SHOW US
RIGHTEOUS FROM WRONGTEOUS.
WE COUNT ON YOU TO SHOW US
RIGHTEOUS FROM WRONGTEOUS.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND
RIGHTEOUS FROM WRONGTEOUS.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND
MAKE THIS WRONG A RIGHT.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND
MAKE THIS WRONG A RIGHT.
>> Fakey: I KNOW, OREL, BUT HOW?
MAKE THIS WRONG A RIGHT.
>> Fakey: I KNOW, OREL, BUT HOW?
>> Orel: WITH THE ANTIDOTE TO
>> Fakey: I KNOW, OREL, BUT HOW?
>> Orel: WITH THE ANTIDOTE TO
THE APPLE.
>> Orel: WITH THE ANTIDOTE TO
THE APPLE.
>> Fakey: WHAT APPLE?
THE APPLE.
>> Fakey: WHAT APPLE?
>> Orel: WELL, SIR....
>> Fakey: WHAT APPLE?
>> Orel: WELL, SIR....
WHEN ADAM AND EVE BIT INTO THE
>> Orel: WELL, SIR....
WHEN ADAM AND EVE BIT INTO THE
APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, THEY
WHEN ADAM AND EVE BIT INTO THE
APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, THEY
REALIZED THEY WERE NAKED AND
APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, THEY
REALIZED THEY WERE NAKED AND
FELT ASHAMED.
REALIZED THEY WERE NAKED AND
FELT ASHAMED.
>> Fakey: YES, YES, AND RIGHTLY
FELT ASHAMED.
>> Fakey: YES, YES, AND RIGHTLY
SO.
>> Fakey: YES, YES, AND RIGHTLY
SO.
OH, AND THAT SHAME HAUNTS US TO
SO.
OH, AND THAT SHAME HAUNTS US TO
THIS DAY.
OH, AND THAT SHAME HAUNTS US TO
THIS DAY.
>> Orel: UNLESS WE REPRESS IT.
THIS DAY.
>> Orel: UNLESS WE REPRESS IT.
>> Fakey: I'VE TRIED, OREL, BUT
>> Orel: UNLESS WE REPRESS IT.
>> Fakey: I'VE TRIED, OREL, BUT
WHAT I'M DOING IS...TOO WRONG.
>> Fakey: I'VE TRIED, OREL, BUT
WHAT I'M DOING IS...TOO WRONG.
>> Orel: THAT FEELING YOU HAVE
WHAT I'M DOING IS...TOO WRONG.
>> Orel: THAT FEELING YOU HAVE
IS BECAUSE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF
>> Orel: THAT FEELING YOU HAVE
IS BECAUSE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF
AS A GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAN --
IS BECAUSE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF
AS A GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAN --
SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEVER DO
AS A GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAN --
SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEVER DO
SOMETHING SO SINFUL.
SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEVER DO
SOMETHING SO SINFUL.
SO, BY DEFINITION, YOU COULDN'T
SOMETHING SO SINFUL.
SO, BY DEFINITION, YOU COULDN'T
BE DOING IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE.
SO, BY DEFINITION, YOU COULDN'T
BE DOING IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE.
SEE?
BE DOING IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE.
SEE?
THAT'S YOUR GIFT TO GOD --
SEE?
THAT'S YOUR GIFT TO GOD --
FEELING RIGHT.
THAT'S YOUR GIFT TO GOD --
FEELING RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE THE APPLE NEVER GOT
FEELING RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE THE APPLE NEVER GOT
BIT.
IT'S LIKE THE APPLE NEVER GOT
BIT.
>> Fakey: I SEE.
BIT.
>> Fakey: I SEE.
SO, IF IT FEELS LIKE I SHOULDN'T
>> Fakey: I SEE.
SO, IF IT FEELS LIKE I SHOULDN'T
BE DOING IT, I'M NOT DOING IT.
SO, IF IT FEELS LIKE I SHOULDN'T
BE DOING IT, I'M NOT DOING IT.
>> Orel: YEP.
BE DOING IT, I'M NOT DOING IT.
>> Orel: YEP.
JUST REMEMBER THE LOST 29th
>> Orel: YEP.
JUST REMEMBER THE LOST 29th
COMMANDMENT -- EVERYTHING'S
JUST REMEMBER THE LOST 29th
COMMANDMENT -- EVERYTHING'S
FINE.
COMMANDMENT -- EVERYTHING'S
FINE.
[ WHISTLING ]
FINE.
[ WHISTLING ]
>> Fakey: AH.
HELLO, NURSE.
>> HUH?
OH, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
>> HUH?
OH, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
TODAY?
OH, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
TODAY?
>> Fakey: UH, IF BY "DO IT," YOU
TODAY?
>> Fakey: UH, IF BY "DO IT," YOU
MEAN YOU GIVING ME MY ANNUAL
>> Fakey: UH, IF BY "DO IT," YOU
MEAN YOU GIVING ME MY ANNUAL
CHECKUP, THEN YES.
MEAN YOU GIVING ME MY ANNUAL
CHECKUP, THEN YES.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
CHECKUP, THEN YES.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
>> [ SCOFFS ]
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY
TO STAY IN GOOD HEALTH FOR THE
>> Fakey: IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY
TO STAY IN GOOD HEALTH FOR THE
CHILDREN, SO JUST THE NORMAL
TO STAY IN GOOD HEALTH FOR THE
CHILDREN, SO JUST THE NORMAL
TESTS -- BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART
CHILDREN, SO JUST THE NORMAL
TESTS -- BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART
RATE, BLOOD WORK, FLUID SAMPLES,
TESTS -- BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART
RATE, BLOOD WORK, FLUID SAMPLES,
REFLEXES.
RATE, BLOOD WORK, FLUID SAMPLES,
REFLEXES.
CAN YOU SQUEEZE ME IN TODAY?
REFLEXES.
CAN YOU SQUEEZE ME IN TODAY?
>> [ Muffled ] MM-HMM.
CAN YOU SQUEEZE ME IN TODAY?
>> [ Muffled ] MM-HMM.
>> Fakey: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
>> [ Muffled ] MM-HMM.
>> Fakey: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
>> Fakey: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
>> Orel: HI, PRINCIPAL.
I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
>> Orel: HI, PRINCIPAL.
HOW'S YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM?
>> Orel: HI, PRINCIPAL.
HOW'S YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM?
>> Fakey: PROBLEM?
HOW'S YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM?
>> Fakey: PROBLEM?
WHAT PROBLEM, SON?
>> Fakey: PROBLEM?
WHAT PROBLEM, SON?
>> Orel: PRAISE THE LORD!
WHAT PROBLEM, SON?
>> Orel: PRAISE THE LORD!
>> Fakey: GET TO CLASS, OREL.
>> Orel: PRAISE THE LORD!
>> Fakey: GET TO CLASS, OREL.
SO, I JUST CAME BY TO CHECK ON
>> Fakey: GET TO CLASS, OREL.
SO, I JUST CAME BY TO CHECK ON
MY TEST RESULTS.
SO, I JUST CAME BY TO CHECK ON
MY TEST RESULTS.
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE?
MY TEST RESULTS.
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE?
>> UH...
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE?
>> UH...
HUH.
>> UH...
HUH.
>> Fakey: LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT
HUH.
>> Fakey: LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT
RAIN AGAIN.
>> Fakey: LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT
RAIN AGAIN.
GOOD FOR THE PRETTY, LITTLE
RAIN AGAIN.
GOOD FOR THE PRETTY, LITTLE
FLOWERS.
GOOD FOR THE PRETTY, LITTLE
FLOWERS.
>> YOU HAVE AN STD.
FLOWERS.
>> YOU HAVE AN STD.
>> Fakey: WHAT?!
>> YOU HAVE AN STD.
>> Fakey: WHAT?!
IMPOSSIBLE!
>> Fakey: WHAT?!
IMPOSSIBLE!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
IMPOSSIBLE!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
MY WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
MY WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE
EVER BEEN WITH!
MY WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE
EVER BEEN WITH!
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
EVER BEEN WITH!
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE --
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE --
SECOND-STAGE GONORRHEA.
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE --
SECOND-STAGE GONORRHEA.
>> Fakey: BUT I'VE BEEN AS
SECOND-STAGE GONORRHEA.
>> Fakey: BUT I'VE BEEN AS
FAITHFUL AS A LAPDOG.
>> Fakey: BUT I'VE BEEN AS
FAITHFUL AS A LAPDOG.
I...
FAITHFUL AS A LAPDOG.
I...
UNLESS...
I...
UNLESS...
OH, THAT WHORE!
UNLESS...
OH, THAT WHORE!
THAT FILTHY TROLLOP!
OH, THAT WHORE!
THAT FILTHY TROLLOP!
HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?
THAT FILTHY TROLLOP!
HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?
>> IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?
>> IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
IT JUST ITCHES A LITTLE AROUND
>> IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
IT JUST ITCHES A LITTLE AROUND
YOUR VAGINA.
IT JUST ITCHES A LITTLE AROUND
YOUR VAGINA.
>> Fakey: THAT JEZEBEL!
YOUR VAGINA.
>> Fakey: THAT JEZEBEL!
I GIVE HER EVERYTHING, AND THIS
>> Fakey: THAT JEZEBEL!
I GIVE HER EVERYTHING, AND THIS
IS WHAT SHE GIVES ME?!
I GIVE HER EVERYTHING, AND THIS
IS WHAT SHE GIVES ME?!
WELL, NO MORE!
IS WHAT SHE GIVES ME?!
WELL, NO MORE!
IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT IN THIS
WELL, NO MORE!
IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT IN THIS
WORLD?!
IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT IN THIS
WORLD?!
>> Orel: UH-OH.
WORLD?!
>> Orel: UH-OH.
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Orel: UH-OH.
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Fakey: DISEASED HARLOT!
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Fakey: DISEASED HARLOT!
I TRUSTED YOU!
>> Fakey: DISEASED HARLOT!
I TRUSTED YOU!
I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A BABY!
I TRUSTED YOU!
I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A BABY!
YOU BROKE MY HEART!
I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A BABY!
YOU BROKE MY HEART!
HELLO, OREL.
YOU BROKE MY HEART!
HELLO, OREL.
>> Orel: OH, NO.
HELLO, OREL.
>> Orel: OH, NO.
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Orel: OH, NO.
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Orel: HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Orel: HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR
I FEEL GUILT.
>> Orel: HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR
I FEEL GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
I FEEL GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
>> Orel: I THINK I DID A BAD
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
>> Orel: I THINK I DID A BAD
THING TO PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
>> Orel: I THINK I DID A BAD
THING TO PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
THING TO PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU LITTLE
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU LITTLE
MENACE?
WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU LITTLE
MENACE?
>> Orel: WELL, I HELPED HIM
MENACE?
>> Orel: WELL, I HELPED HIM
REPRESS HIS GUILT ABOUT
>> Orel: WELL, I HELPED HIM
REPRESS HIS GUILT ABOUT
NURSE BENDY.
REPRESS HIS GUILT ABOUT
NURSE BENDY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU DID WHAT?
NURSE BENDY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU DID WHAT?
>> Orel: AND I THINK IT RUINED
>> Rev. Putty: YOU DID WHAT?
>> Orel: AND I THINK IT RUINED
HIS MARRIAGE.
>> Orel: AND I THINK IT RUINED
HIS MARRIAGE.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
HIS MARRIAGE.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
MRS. PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S A FREE
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
MRS. PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S A FREE
AGENT?
MRS. PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S A FREE
AGENT?
>> Orel: YEAH.
AGENT?
>> Orel: YEAH.
>> Rev. Putty: PUNCHING OUT
>> Orel: YEAH.
>> Rev. Putty: PUNCHING OUT
HERE, OREL.
>> Rev. Putty: PUNCHING OUT
HERE, OREL.
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ON
HERE, OREL.
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ON
YOUR OWN.
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ON
YOUR OWN.
>> Orel: BUT --
YOUR OWN.
>> Orel: BUT --
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, YOU JUST
>> Orel: BUT --
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, YOU JUST
HELPED THAT BASKET CASE FAKEY.
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, YOU JUST
HELPED THAT BASKET CASE FAKEY.
JUST DO THE SAME TO YOURSELF.
>> Orel: [ GRUNTING ]
HOT DOG!
EVERYTHING'S FINE!
HOT DOG!
EVERYTHING'S FINE!
[ WHISTLING ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
>> [ Nasally ] PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S
OFFICE.
OH, HELLO, MRS. FAKEY.
OFFICE.
OH, HELLO, MRS. FAKEY.
NO, HE'S OUT HAVING LUNCH.
OH, HELLO, MRS. FAKEY.
NO, HE'S OUT HAVING LUNCH.
SURE.
NO, HE'S OUT HAVING LUNCH.
SURE.
HE'LL BE SORRY HE MISSED YOU.
SURE.
HE'LL BE SORRY HE MISSED YOU.
WHEW!
HE'LL BE SORRY HE MISSED YOU.
WHEW!
[ Masculine voice ] WHAT A DAY.
WHEW!
[ Masculine voice ] WHAT A DAY.
>> Fakey: LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
[ Masculine voice ] WHAT A DAY.
>> Fakey: LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
>> Fakey: LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE...
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE...
>> THIS SANDWICH IS DRY.
LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE...
>> THIS SANDWICH IS DRY.
>> Fakey: ...YOU, YOU, I LOVE
>> THIS SANDWICH IS DRY.
>> Fakey: ...YOU, YOU, I LOVE
YOU, LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU,
>> Fakey: ...YOU, YOU, I LOVE
YOU, LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
YOU, LOVE YOU, YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU!
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU,
LOVE YOU!
YES, BLISS!
LOVE YOU!
YES, BLISS!
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE,
YES, BLISS!
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE,
NURSE BENDY!
YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE,
NURSE BENDY!
YES, YES!
NURSE BENDY!
YES, YES!
I'M SO HAPPY!
YES, YES!
I'M SO HAPPY!
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
I'M SO HAPPY!
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
OHHHHHHHH!
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
OHHHHHHHH!
OHH, I HATE MYSELF!
OHHHHHHHH!
OHH, I HATE MYSELF!
I HAVE A LOVING WIFE.
OHH, I HATE MYSELF!
I HAVE A LOVING WIFE.
WHAT AM I DOING?
I HAVE A LOVING WIFE.
WHAT AM I DOING?
>> CAN I GET A RIDE BACK TO
WHAT AM I DOING?
>> CAN I GET A RIDE BACK TO
SCHOOL WITH YOU?
>> CAN I GET A RIDE BACK TO
SCHOOL WITH YOU?
>> Fakey: OH, WHAT AM I GOING TO
SCHOOL WITH YOU?
>> Fakey: OH, WHAT AM I GOING TO
DO?
HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR I FEEL
GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: NURSE BENDY
GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: NURSE BENDY
AGAIN?
>> Rev. Putty: NURSE BENDY
AGAIN?
>> Fakey: IT'S AWFUL, IT'S
AGAIN?
>> Fakey: IT'S AWFUL, IT'S
WRONG, AND I CAN'T STOP.
>> Fakey: IT'S AWFUL, IT'S
WRONG, AND I CAN'T STOP.
SHE'S A TIGRESS.
WRONG, AND I CAN'T STOP.
SHE'S A TIGRESS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
SHE'S A TIGRESS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID SHE DO?
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID SHE DO?
>> Fakey: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
WHAT DID SHE DO?
>> Fakey: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
>> Fakey: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
ABOUT IT.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: NO.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: NO.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON!
>> Fakey: NO.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON!
>> Fakey: I CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON!
>> Fakey: I CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: I CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: REVEREND, PLEASE.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON.
>> Fakey: REVEREND, PLEASE.
I DIDN'T COME TO THE
>> Fakey: REVEREND, PLEASE.
I DIDN'T COME TO THE
REPRESSIONAL TO TALK ABOUT MY
I DIDN'T COME TO THE
REPRESSIONAL TO TALK ABOUT MY
SINS.
REPRESSIONAL TO TALK ABOUT MY
SINS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, RIGHT.
SINS.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, RIGHT.
[ SIGHS ] SORRY.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, RIGHT.
[ SIGHS ] SORRY.
UH, LOOK, JUST TRY NOT TO THINK
[ SIGHS ] SORRY.
UH, LOOK, JUST TRY NOT TO THINK
ABOUT IT.
UH, LOOK, JUST TRY NOT TO THINK
ABOUT IT.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.
ABOUT IT.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.
>> Fakey: THAT IS EASY TO SAY.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.
>> Fakey: THAT IS EASY TO SAY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU CAN DO IT.
>> Fakey: THAT IS EASY TO SAY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU CAN DO IT.
DISTRACT YOURSELF.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU CAN DO IT.
DISTRACT YOURSELF.
GIVE YOUR WIFE A BABY.
DISTRACT YOURSELF.
GIVE YOUR WIFE A BABY.
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A
GIVE YOUR WIFE A BABY.
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A
GOOD HUSBAND.
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A
GOOD HUSBAND.
JUST PRETEND.
GOOD HUSBAND.
JUST PRETEND.
>> Fakey: OH, GOD!
JUST PRETEND.
>> Fakey: OH, GOD!
I HAVE A TRUSTING, BEAUTIFUL
>> Fakey: OH, GOD!
I HAVE A TRUSTING, BEAUTIFUL
WIFE WHO LOVES ME.
I HAVE A TRUSTING, BEAUTIFUL
WIFE WHO LOVES ME.
>> Rev. Putty: ALL RIGHT,
WIFE WHO LOVES ME.
>> Rev. Putty: ALL RIGHT,
HOTSHOT, I GET IT.
>> Rev. Putty: ALL RIGHT,
HOTSHOT, I GET IT.
QUIT BRAGGING.
HOTSHOT, I GET IT.
QUIT BRAGGING.
JEEZ.
QUIT BRAGGING.
JEEZ.
>> Fakey: [ SOBS ]
JEEZ.
>> Fakey: [ SOBS ]
>> Rev. Putty: COULD YOU QUIT
>> Fakey: [ SOBS ]
>> Rev. Putty: COULD YOU QUIT
YOUR BLUBBERING AND MEET ME
>> Rev. Putty: COULD YOU QUIT
YOUR BLUBBERING AND MEET ME
HALFWAY HERE?
YOUR BLUBBERING AND MEET ME
HALFWAY HERE?
LET'S GO.
HALFWAY HERE?
LET'S GO.
START BURYING.
LET'S GO.
START BURYING.
>> Fakey: [ GRUNTING ]
START BURYING.
>> Fakey: [ GRUNTING ]
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON, ALICE.
>> Fakey: [ GRUNTING ]
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON, ALICE.
PUT SOME ELBOW GREASE INTO IT.
>> Rev. Putty: COME ON, ALICE.
PUT SOME ELBOW GREASE INTO IT.
HARDER.
PUT SOME ELBOW GREASE INTO IT.
HARDER.
HARDER!
HARDER.
HARDER!
BURY IT!
HARDER!
BURY IT!
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
BURY IT!
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
OH, IT'S NO USE.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I JUST CAN'T.
OH, IT'S NO USE.
I JUST CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
I JUST CAN'T.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
>> Rev. Putty: [ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
JUST SAY TWO "IT WASN'T MEs"
OKAY.
JUST SAY TWO "IT WASN'T MEs"
AND THREE "I BLAME MY FATHERs."
JUST SAY TWO "IT WASN'T MEs"
AND THREE "I BLAME MY FATHERs."
YOU'LL BE FINE.
AND THREE "I BLAME MY FATHERs."
YOU'LL BE FINE.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
YOU'LL BE FINE.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
>> Fakey: [ GASPS ]
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
>> Rev. Putty: SO, DOES
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
>> Rev. Putty: SO, DOES
NURSE BENDY'S PULPIT MATCH HER
>> Rev. Putty: SO, DOES
NURSE BENDY'S PULPIT MATCH HER
STEEPLE?
NURSE BENDY'S PULPIT MATCH HER
STEEPLE?
JERK.
STEEPLE?
JERK.
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
JERK.
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
[ CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> OH, HOWDY, LOVER.
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
WHAT A BORING DAY.
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
WHAT A BORING DAY.
>> YOU WANT TO MAKE IT NOT
WHAT A BORING DAY.
>> YOU WANT TO MAKE IT NOT
BORING?
>> YOU WANT TO MAKE IT NOT
BORING?
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
BORING?
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
BE HARD TO DO, YOU KNOW.
>> Fakey: [ YAWNS ]
BE HARD TO DO, YOU KNOW.
THAT NURSE BENDY SURE CAN...
BE HARD TO DO, YOU KNOW.
THAT NURSE BENDY SURE CAN...
[ YAWNS ]
THAT NURSE BENDY SURE CAN...
[ YAWNS ]
...DULL YOUR EAR OFF.
[ YAWNS ]
...DULL YOUR EAR OFF.
>> YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
...DULL YOUR EAR OFF.
>> YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
HER.
>> YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
HER.
>> Fakey: YEAH, HOW BORING SHE
HER.
>> Fakey: YEAH, HOW BORING SHE
IS.
>> Fakey: YEAH, HOW BORING SHE
IS.
WHEW!
IS.
WHEW!
THE ONLY THING MY MOUTH DOES IN
WHEW!
THE ONLY THING MY MOUTH DOES IN
RELATION TO HER IS...
THE ONLY THING MY MOUTH DOES IN
RELATION TO HER IS...
[ YAWNS ]
RELATION TO HER IS...
[ YAWNS ]
...YAWN.
[ YAWNS ]
...YAWN.
OKAY.
...YAWN.
OKAY.
[ YAWNS ]
OKAY.
[ YAWNS ]
TIME TO HIT THE SACK.
[ YAWNS ]
TIME TO HIT THE SACK.
[ SNORES ]
TIME TO HIT THE SACK.
[ SNORES ]
>> [ GROANS ]
[ SNORES ]
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S ALREADY STARTED.
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S ALREADY STARTED.
OH, BOY.
[ WHIMPERING ]
>> HUH?
THAT'S WEIRD.
>> Fakey: HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL,
THAT'S WEIRD.
>> Fakey: HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL,
LITTLE ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> Fakey: HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL,
LITTLE ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL BLOSSOM.
LITTLE ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> Fakey: I HAVE SOMETHING TO
>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL BLOSSOM.
>> Fakey: I HAVE SOMETHING TO
TELL YOU.
>> Fakey: I HAVE SOMETHING TO
TELL YOU.
>> WHAT?!
TELL YOU.
>> WHAT?!
I MEAN, GREAT.
>> WHAT?!
I MEAN, GREAT.
>> Fakey: LOOK, THIS ISN'T
I MEAN, GREAT.
>> Fakey: LOOK, THIS ISN'T
WORKING OUT.
>> Fakey: LOOK, THIS ISN'T
WORKING OUT.
WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
WORKING OUT.
WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
>> Fakey: I KNOW.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
>> Fakey: I KNOW.
IT KILLS ME, TOO, BUT THE GUILT
>> Fakey: I KNOW.
IT KILLS ME, TOO, BUT THE GUILT
IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
IT KILLS ME, TOO, BUT THE GUILT
IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
I LOVE MY WIFE.
IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
I LOVE MY WIFE.
GOD, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I LOVE MY WIFE.
GOD, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I HAVE TO HAVE YOU NOW -- WITH
GOD, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
I HAVE TO HAVE YOU NOW -- WITH
MY PANTS ON!
I HAVE TO HAVE YOU NOW -- WITH
MY PANTS ON!
I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU, I NEED
MY PANTS ON!
I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU, I NEED
YOU!
I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU, I NEED
YOU!
THIS IS IT!
YOU!
THIS IS IT!
I LOVE YOU!
THIS IS IT!
I LOVE YOU!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
I LOVE YOU!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
[ Sobbing ] WO-O-O-O-O-E IS ME!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
[ Sobbing ] WO-O-O-O-O-E IS ME!
I HATE ME.
[ Sobbing ] WO-O-O-O-O-E IS ME!
I HATE ME.
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
I HATE ME.
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL.
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL.
I SHOULD -- I SHOULD CUT IT OFF.
I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL.
I SHOULD -- I SHOULD CUT IT OFF.
I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF.
I SHOULD -- I SHOULD CUT IT OFF.
I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF.
GIVE ME A SCALPEL.
I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF.
GIVE ME A SCALPEL.
>> Orel: GOLLY.
GIVE ME A SCALPEL.
>> Orel: GOLLY.
>> Fakey: AAH! OREL!
>> Orel: GOLLY.
>> Fakey: AAH! OREL!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY, WHY DO
>> Fakey: AAH! OREL!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY, WHY DO
YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HELL, AND
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY, WHY DO
YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HELL, AND
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CUT OFF?
YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HELL, AND
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CUT OFF?
>> Fakey: YAWN!
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CUT OFF?
>> Fakey: YAWN!
OH, WHAT A HUMDRUM DAY.
>> Fakey: YAWN!
OH, WHAT A HUMDRUM DAY.
OH! [ SNORES ]
>> Clay: [ SLURPS ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
I MEAN, COME IN.
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
I MEAN, COME IN.
>> [ SQUEALS ]
I MEAN, COME IN.
>> [ SQUEALS ]
YAY! BREAK!
>> [ SQUEALS ]
YAY! BREAK!
>> Clay: OREL, LOOK WHAT YOU LET
YAY! BREAK!
>> Clay: OREL, LOOK WHAT YOU LET
IN!
>> Clay: OREL, LOOK WHAT YOU LET
IN!
SCAT, SHAPEY. SHOO, SHOO.
IN!
SCAT, SHAPEY. SHOO, SHOO.
>> Orel: DAD, THAT'S NOT SHA--
SCAT, SHAPEY. SHOO, SHOO.
>> Orel: DAD, THAT'S NOT SHA--
>> Clay: WHAT'S UP, SON?
>> Orel: DAD, THAT'S NOT SHA--
>> Clay: WHAT'S UP, SON?
>> Orel: WELL, I KNOW I'M NOT
>> Clay: WHAT'S UP, SON?
>> Orel: WELL, I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO QUESTION AUTHORITY.
>> Orel: WELL, I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO QUESTION AUTHORITY.
>> Clay: THEN CASE CLOSED.
SUPPOSED TO QUESTION AUTHORITY.
>> Clay: THEN CASE CLOSED.
>> Orel: BUT...
>> Clay: THEN CASE CLOSED.
>> Orel: BUT...
>> Clay: [ SIGHS ]
>> Orel: BUT...
>> Clay: [ SIGHS ]
HOLD ON.
>> Clay: [ SIGHS ]
HOLD ON.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
HOLD ON.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
OKAY.
[ BUCKLE JINGLES ]
OKAY.
BUT WHAT?
OKAY.
BUT WHAT?
>> Orel: BUT W-WHAT IF AN
BUT WHAT?
>> Orel: BUT W-WHAT IF AN
AUTHORITY FIGURE IS DOING
>> Orel: BUT W-WHAT IF AN
AUTHORITY FIGURE IS DOING
SOMETHING THAT EVEN HE THINKS IS
AUTHORITY FIGURE IS DOING
SOMETHING THAT EVEN HE THINKS IS
WRONG?
SOMETHING THAT EVEN HE THINKS IS
WRONG?
>> Clay: OH, OREL, AUTHORITY
WRONG?
>> Clay: OH, OREL, AUTHORITY
FIGURES NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
>> Clay: OH, OREL, AUTHORITY
FIGURES NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM WHO THEY
FIGURES NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM WHO THEY
ARE.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM WHO THEY
ARE.
YOU SEE, THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
ARE.
YOU SEE, THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO MAGICALLY MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
YOU SEE, THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO MAGICALLY MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN THEY DO
TO MAGICALLY MAKE WRONG RIGHT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN THEY DO
THAT IF IT'S THEIR OWN
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN THEY DO
THAT IF IT'S THEIR OWN
CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING
THAT IF IT'S THEIR OWN
CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING
THEM?
CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING
THEM?
>> Clay: CONSCIENCE?
THEM?
>> Clay: CONSCIENCE?
BUDDY, THE CONSCIENCE IS THE
>> Clay: CONSCIENCE?
BUDDY, THE CONSCIENCE IS THE
FIRST THING AN AUTHORITY FIGURE
BUDDY, THE CONSCIENCE IS THE
FIRST THING AN AUTHORITY FIGURE
HAS AUTHORITY OVER.
FIRST THING AN AUTHORITY FIGURE
HAS AUTHORITY OVER.
WHY, HE CAN REPRESS THAT
HAS AUTHORITY OVER.
WHY, HE CAN REPRESS THAT
BOTHERSOME LITTLE FELLOW IN NO
WHY, HE CAN REPRESS THAT
BOTHERSOME LITTLE FELLOW IN NO
SECONDS FLAT.
BOTHERSOME LITTLE FELLOW IN NO
SECONDS FLAT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN HE REPRESS
SECONDS FLAT.
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN HE REPRESS
IT?
>> Orel: BUT HOW CAN HE REPRESS
IT?
>> Clay: BY REALIZING THE
IT?
>> Clay: BY REALIZING THE
AGE-OLD SECRET -- REPRESSION IS
>> Clay: BY REALIZING THE
AGE-OLD SECRET -- REPRESSION IS
THE ANTIDOTE TO THE APPLE.
AGE-OLD SECRET -- REPRESSION IS
THE ANTIDOTE TO THE APPLE.
>> Orel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAD?
THE ANTIDOTE TO THE APPLE.
>> Orel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAD?
>> Clay: WELL, SIR, WHEN ADAM
>> Orel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAD?
>> Clay: WELL, SIR, WHEN ADAM
AND EVE BIT INTO THE APPLE OF
>> Clay: WELL, SIR, WHEN ADAM
AND EVE BIT INTO THE APPLE OF
KNOWLEDGE, THEY REALIZED...
AND EVE BIT INTO THE APPLE OF
KNOWLEDGE, THEY REALIZED...
>> Orel: HI, GOD.
KNOWLEDGE, THEY REALIZED...
>> Orel: HI, GOD.
IT'S THAT TIME OF DAY AGAIN WHEN
>> Orel: HI, GOD.
IT'S THAT TIME OF DAY AGAIN WHEN
I CHECK IN.
IT'S THAT TIME OF DAY AGAIN WHEN
I CHECK IN.
HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY UP IN
I CHECK IN.
HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY UP IN
HEAVEN.
HOPE EVERYTHING'S OKAY UP IN
HEAVEN.
MORALTON'S BEEN FAIRLY RIGHTEOUS
HEAVEN.
MORALTON'S BEEN FAIRLY RIGHTEOUS
LATELY.
MORALTON'S BEEN FAIRLY RIGHTEOUS
LATELY.
I SAY "FAIRLY" BECAUSE I'M A
LATELY.
I SAY "FAIRLY" BECAUSE I'M A
LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
I SAY "FAIRLY" BECAUSE I'M A
LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE --
PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE --
>> Fakey: [ MOANING, MUTTERING ]
HE SEEMS A LITTLE --
>> Fakey: [ MOANING, MUTTERING ]
>> Rev. Putty: WE JUST CLOSED.
>> Fakey: [ MOANING, MUTTERING ]
>> Rev. Putty: WE JUST CLOSED.
>> Fakey: PLEASE, REVEREND, I'M
>> Rev. Putty: WE JUST CLOSED.
>> Fakey: PLEASE, REVEREND, I'M
AT MY WITS' END!
>> Fakey: PLEASE, REVEREND, I'M
AT MY WITS' END!
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, EITHER STOP
AT MY WITS' END!
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, EITHER STOP
BRAGGING OR COME THROUGH WITH
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, EITHER STOP
BRAGGING OR COME THROUGH WITH
SOME JUICY DETAILS.
BRAGGING OR COME THROUGH WITH
SOME JUICY DETAILS.
>> Fakey: REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
SOME JUICY DETAILS.
>> Fakey: REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
GUILT IS OVERWHELMING.
>> Fakey: REVEREND PUTTY, THIS
GUILT IS OVERWHELMING.
>> Rev. Putty: GEE, I WONDER
GUILT IS OVERWHELMING.
>> Rev. Putty: GEE, I WONDER
WHY.
>> Rev. Putty: GEE, I WONDER
WHY.
YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A MISTRESS.
WHY.
YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A MISTRESS.
MOST PEOPLE HAVE EITHER/OR.
YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A MISTRESS.
MOST PEOPLE HAVE EITHER/OR.
AND SOME HAVE NONE!
MOST PEOPLE HAVE EITHER/OR.
AND SOME HAVE NONE!
>> Fakey: [ Sobbing ] PLEASE!
AND SOME HAVE NONE!
>> Fakey: [ Sobbing ] PLEASE!
CAN I COME IN?!
>> Fakey: [ Sobbing ] PLEASE!
CAN I COME IN?!
>> Rev. Putty: WHY SHOULD I HELP
CAN I COME IN?!
>> Rev. Putty: WHY SHOULD I HELP
YOU REPRESS YOUR GUILT?
>> Rev. Putty: WHY SHOULD I HELP
YOU REPRESS YOUR GUILT?
WHAT DO I GET OUT OF YOU LYING
YOU REPRESS YOUR GUILT?
WHAT DO I GET OUT OF YOU LYING
TO YOURSELF?
WHAT DO I GET OUT OF YOU LYING
TO YOURSELF?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU MOVING
TO YOURSELF?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU MOVING
IN ON EVERY OTHER SINGLE WOMAN
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU MOVING
IN ON EVERY OTHER SINGLE WOMAN
IN MORALTON, THAT'S WHAT --
IN ON EVERY OTHER SINGLE WOMAN
IN MORALTON, THAT'S WHAT --
LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING.
IN MORALTON, THAT'S WHAT --
LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING.
>> Fakey: NO, NO, I DON'T
LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING.
>> Fakey: NO, NO, I DON'T
WANT --
>> Fakey: NO, NO, I DON'T
WANT --
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, UNH-UNH.
WANT --
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, UNH-UNH.
NO GO.
>> Rev. Putty: WELL, UNH-UNH.
NO GO.
SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE FISH,
NO GO.
SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE FISH,
BUDDY.
SAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE FISH,
BUDDY.
>> Fakey: [ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
BUDDY.
>> Fakey: [ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REVEREND, STOP.
>> Fakey: [ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REVEREND, STOP.
[ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REVEREND, STOP.
[ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REV!
[ SOBBING, MUTTERING ]
REV!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY?
REV!
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY?
>> Fakey: HUH?
>> Orel: PRINCIPAL FAKEY?
>> Fakey: HUH?
OH.
>> Fakey: HUH?
OH.
>> Orel: I KNOW I'M JUST A
OH.
>> Orel: I KNOW I'M JUST A
LITTLE BOY, BUT, GOSH, I SURE
>> Orel: I KNOW I'M JUST A
LITTLE BOY, BUT, GOSH, I SURE
WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU.
LITTLE BOY, BUT, GOSH, I SURE
WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU.
>> Fakey: OH.
WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU.
>> Fakey: OH.
[ SNIFFLES ]
>> Fakey: OH.
[ SNIFFLES ]
>> Orel: YOU ARE AN AUTHORITY
[ SNIFFLES ]
>> Orel: YOU ARE AN AUTHORITY
FIGURE HERE IN MORALTON.
>> Orel: YOU ARE AN AUTHORITY
FIGURE HERE IN MORALTON.
WE COUNT ON YOU TO SHOW US
FIGURE HERE IN MORALTON.
WE COUNT ON YOU TO SHOW US
RIGHTEOUS FROM WRONGTEOUS.
WE COUNT ON YOU TO SHOW US
RIGHTEOUS FROM WRONGTEOUS.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND
RIGHTEOUS FROM WRONGTEOUS.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND
MAKE THIS WRONG A RIGHT.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND
MAKE THIS WRONG A RIGHT.
>> Fakey: I KNOW, OREL, BUT HOW?
MAKE THIS WRONG A RIGHT.
>> Fakey: I KNOW, OREL, BUT HOW?
>> Orel: WITH THE ANTIDOTE TO
>> Fakey: I KNOW, OREL, BUT HOW?
>> Orel: WITH THE ANTIDOTE TO
THE APPLE.
>> Orel: WITH THE ANTIDOTE TO
THE APPLE.
>> Fakey: WHAT APPLE?
THE APPLE.
>> Fakey: WHAT APPLE?
>> Orel: WELL, SIR....
>> Fakey: WHAT APPLE?
>> Orel: WELL, SIR....
WHEN ADAM AND EVE BIT INTO THE
>> Orel: WELL, SIR....
WHEN ADAM AND EVE BIT INTO THE
APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, THEY
WHEN ADAM AND EVE BIT INTO THE
APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, THEY
REALIZED THEY WERE NAKED AND
APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, THEY
REALIZED THEY WERE NAKED AND
FELT ASHAMED.
REALIZED THEY WERE NAKED AND
FELT ASHAMED.
>> Fakey: YES, YES, AND RIGHTLY
FELT ASHAMED.
>> Fakey: YES, YES, AND RIGHTLY
SO.
>> Fakey: YES, YES, AND RIGHTLY
SO.
OH, AND THAT SHAME HAUNTS US TO
SO.
OH, AND THAT SHAME HAUNTS US TO
THIS DAY.
OH, AND THAT SHAME HAUNTS US TO
THIS DAY.
>> Orel: UNLESS WE REPRESS IT.
THIS DAY.
>> Orel: UNLESS WE REPRESS IT.
>> Fakey: I'VE TRIED, OREL, BUT
>> Orel: UNLESS WE REPRESS IT.
>> Fakey: I'VE TRIED, OREL, BUT
WHAT I'M DOING IS...TOO WRONG.
>> Fakey: I'VE TRIED, OREL, BUT
WHAT I'M DOING IS...TOO WRONG.
>> Orel: THAT FEELING YOU HAVE
WHAT I'M DOING IS...TOO WRONG.
>> Orel: THAT FEELING YOU HAVE
IS BECAUSE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF
>> Orel: THAT FEELING YOU HAVE
IS BECAUSE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF
AS A GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAN --
IS BECAUSE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF
AS A GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAN --
SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEVER DO
AS A GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAN --
SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEVER DO
SOMETHING SO SINFUL.
SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEVER DO
SOMETHING SO SINFUL.
SO, BY DEFINITION, YOU COULDN'T
SOMETHING SO SINFUL.
SO, BY DEFINITION, YOU COULDN'T
BE DOING IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE.
SO, BY DEFINITION, YOU COULDN'T
BE DOING IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE.
SEE?
BE DOING IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE.
SEE?
THAT'S YOUR GIFT TO GOD --
SEE?
THAT'S YOUR GIFT TO GOD --
FEELING RIGHT.
THAT'S YOUR GIFT TO GOD --
FEELING RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE THE APPLE NEVER GOT
FEELING RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE THE APPLE NEVER GOT
BIT.
IT'S LIKE THE APPLE NEVER GOT
BIT.
>> Fakey: I SEE.
BIT.
>> Fakey: I SEE.
SO, IF IT FEELS LIKE I SHOULDN'T
>> Fakey: I SEE.
SO, IF IT FEELS LIKE I SHOULDN'T
BE DOING IT, I'M NOT DOING IT.
SO, IF IT FEELS LIKE I SHOULDN'T
BE DOING IT, I'M NOT DOING IT.
>> Orel: YEP.
BE DOING IT, I'M NOT DOING IT.
>> Orel: YEP.
JUST REMEMBER THE LOST 29th
>> Orel: YEP.
JUST REMEMBER THE LOST 29th
COMMANDMENT -- EVERYTHING'S
JUST REMEMBER THE LOST 29th
COMMANDMENT -- EVERYTHING'S
FINE.
COMMANDMENT -- EVERYTHING'S
FINE.
[ WHISTLING ]
FINE.
[ WHISTLING ]
>> Fakey: AH.
HELLO, NURSE.
>> HUH?
OH, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
>> HUH?
OH, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
TODAY?
OH, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
TODAY?
>> Fakey: UH, IF BY "DO IT," YOU
TODAY?
>> Fakey: UH, IF BY "DO IT," YOU
MEAN YOU GIVING ME MY ANNUAL
>> Fakey: UH, IF BY "DO IT," YOU
MEAN YOU GIVING ME MY ANNUAL
CHECKUP, THEN YES.
MEAN YOU GIVING ME MY ANNUAL
CHECKUP, THEN YES.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
CHECKUP, THEN YES.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
>> [ SCOFFS ]
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
>> Fakey: IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY
TO STAY IN GOOD HEALTH FOR THE
>> Fakey: IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY
TO STAY IN GOOD HEALTH FOR THE
CHILDREN, SO JUST THE NORMAL
TO STAY IN GOOD HEALTH FOR THE
CHILDREN, SO JUST THE NORMAL
TESTS -- BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART
CHILDREN, SO JUST THE NORMAL
TESTS -- BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART
RATE, BLOOD WORK, FLUID SAMPLES,
TESTS -- BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART
RATE, BLOOD WORK, FLUID SAMPLES,
REFLEXES.
RATE, BLOOD WORK, FLUID SAMPLES,
REFLEXES.
CAN YOU SQUEEZE ME IN TODAY?
REFLEXES.
CAN YOU SQUEEZE ME IN TODAY?
>> [ Muffled ] MM-HMM.
CAN YOU SQUEEZE ME IN TODAY?
>> [ Muffled ] MM-HMM.
>> Fakey: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
>> [ Muffled ] MM-HMM.
>> Fakey: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
>> Fakey: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
>> Orel: HI, PRINCIPAL.
I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
>> Orel: HI, PRINCIPAL.
HOW'S YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM?
>> Orel: HI, PRINCIPAL.
HOW'S YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM?
>> Fakey: PROBLEM?
HOW'S YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM?
>> Fakey: PROBLEM?
WHAT PROBLEM, SON?
>> Fakey: PROBLEM?
WHAT PROBLEM, SON?
>> Orel: PRAISE THE LORD!
WHAT PROBLEM, SON?
>> Orel: PRAISE THE LORD!
>> Fakey: GET TO CLASS, OREL.
>> Orel: PRAISE THE LORD!
>> Fakey: GET TO CLASS, OREL.
SO, I JUST CAME BY TO CHECK ON
>> Fakey: GET TO CLASS, OREL.
SO, I JUST CAME BY TO CHECK ON
MY TEST RESULTS.
SO, I JUST CAME BY TO CHECK ON
MY TEST RESULTS.
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE?
MY TEST RESULTS.
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE?
>> UH...
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE?
>> UH...
HUH.
>> UH...
HUH.
>> Fakey: LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT
HUH.
>> Fakey: LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT
RAIN AGAIN.
>> Fakey: LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT
RAIN AGAIN.
GOOD FOR THE PRETTY, LITTLE
RAIN AGAIN.
GOOD FOR THE PRETTY, LITTLE
FLOWERS.
GOOD FOR THE PRETTY, LITTLE
FLOWERS.
>> YOU HAVE AN STD.
FLOWERS.
>> YOU HAVE AN STD.
>> Fakey: WHAT?!
>> YOU HAVE AN STD.
>> Fakey: WHAT?!
IMPOSSIBLE!
>> Fakey: WHAT?!
IMPOSSIBLE!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
IMPOSSIBLE!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
MY WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
MY WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE
EVER BEEN WITH!
MY WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I'VE
EVER BEEN WITH!
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
EVER BEEN WITH!
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE --
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE --
SECOND-STAGE GONORRHEA.
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE --
SECOND-STAGE GONORRHEA.
>> Fakey: BUT I'VE BEEN AS
SECOND-STAGE GONORRHEA.
>> Fakey: BUT I'VE BEEN AS
FAITHFUL AS A LAPDOG.
>> Fakey: BUT I'VE BEEN AS
FAITHFUL AS A LAPDOG.
I...
FAITHFUL AS A LAPDOG.
I...
UNLESS...
I...
UNLESS...
OH, THAT WHORE!
UNLESS...
OH, THAT WHORE!
THAT FILTHY TROLLOP!
OH, THAT WHORE!
THAT FILTHY TROLLOP!
HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?
THAT FILTHY TROLLOP!
HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?
>> IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?
>> IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
IT JUST ITCHES A LITTLE AROUND
>> IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
IT JUST ITCHES A LITTLE AROUND
YOUR VAGINA.
IT JUST ITCHES A LITTLE AROUND
YOUR VAGINA.
>> Fakey: THAT JEZEBEL!
YOUR VAGINA.
>> Fakey: THAT JEZEBEL!
I GIVE HER EVERYTHING, AND THIS
>> Fakey: THAT JEZEBEL!
I GIVE HER EVERYTHING, AND THIS
IS WHAT SHE GIVES ME?!
I GIVE HER EVERYTHING, AND THIS
IS WHAT SHE GIVES ME?!
WELL, NO MORE!
IS WHAT SHE GIVES ME?!
WELL, NO MORE!
IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT IN THIS
WELL, NO MORE!
IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT IN THIS
WORLD?!
IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT IN THIS
WORLD?!
>> Orel: UH-OH.
WORLD?!
>> Orel: UH-OH.
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Orel: UH-OH.
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Fakey: DISEASED HARLOT!
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Fakey: DISEASED HARLOT!
I TRUSTED YOU!
>> Fakey: DISEASED HARLOT!
I TRUSTED YOU!
I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A BABY!
I TRUSTED YOU!
I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A BABY!
YOU BROKE MY HEART!
I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU A BABY!
YOU BROKE MY HEART!
HELLO, OREL.
YOU BROKE MY HEART!
HELLO, OREL.
>> Orel: OH, NO.
HELLO, OREL.
>> Orel: OH, NO.
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Orel: OH, NO.
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Orel: HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Orel: HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR
I FEEL GUILT.
>> Orel: HELP ME, REVEREND, FOR
I FEEL GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
I FEEL GUILT.
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
>> Orel: I THINK I DID A BAD
>> Rev. Putty: UH-HUH.
>> Orel: I THINK I DID A BAD
THING TO PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
>> Orel: I THINK I DID A BAD
THING TO PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
THING TO PRINCIPAL FAKEY.
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU LITTLE
>> Rev. Putty: OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU LITTLE
MENACE?
WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU LITTLE
MENACE?
>> Orel: WELL, I HELPED HIM
MENACE?
>> Orel: WELL, I HELPED HIM
REPRESS HIS GUILT ABOUT
>> Orel: WELL, I HELPED HIM
REPRESS HIS GUILT ABOUT
NURSE BENDY.
REPRESS HIS GUILT ABOUT
NURSE BENDY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU DID WHAT?
NURSE BENDY.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU DID WHAT?
>> Orel: AND I THINK IT RUINED
>> Rev. Putty: YOU DID WHAT?
>> Orel: AND I THINK IT RUINED
HIS MARRIAGE.
>> Orel: AND I THINK IT RUINED
HIS MARRIAGE.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
HIS MARRIAGE.
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
MRS. PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S A FREE
>> Rev. Putty: YOU'RE KIDDING.
MRS. PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S A FREE
AGENT?
MRS. PRINCIPAL FAKEY'S A FREE
AGENT?
>> Orel: YEAH.
AGENT?
>> Orel: YEAH.
>> Rev. Putty: PUNCHING OUT
>> Orel: YEAH.
>> Rev. Putty: PUNCHING OUT
HERE, OREL.
>> Rev. Putty: PUNCHING OUT
HERE, OREL.
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ON
HERE, OREL.
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ON
YOUR OWN.
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ON
YOUR OWN.
>> Orel: BUT --
YOUR OWN.
>> Orel: BUT --
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, YOU JUST
>> Orel: BUT --
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, YOU JUST
HELPED THAT BASKET CASE FAKEY.
>> Rev. Putty: LOOK, YOU JUST
HELPED THAT BASKET CASE FAKEY.
JUST DO THE SAME TO YOURSELF.
>> Orel: [ GRUNTING ]
HOT DOG!
EVERYTHING'S FINE!
HOT DOG!
EVERYTHING'S FINE!
[ WHISTLING ]