Moral Orel (2005–2009): Season 2, Episode 10 - Be Fruitful and Multiply - full transcript
Orel finally gets Stephanie, the town atheist, to go to church.
CAPTIONING PROVIDED
BY TURNER STUDIOS
>> Howdy, Mr. Figurelli!
>> Hey there, Orel.
What can I get ya?
>> Hey there, Orel.
What can I get ya?
>> Well, my Dad needs
What can I get ya?
>> Well, my Dad needs
a new belt.
>> Well, my Dad needs
a new belt.
>> Wore the last one out
a new belt.
>> Wore the last one out
already, huh, kid?
>> Wore the last one out
already, huh, kid?
>> Yeah.
already, huh, kid?
>> Yeah.
Learning sure gets complicated
>> Yeah.
Learning sure gets complicated
sometimes.
Learning sure gets complicated
sometimes.
>> Know what ya mean.
sometimes.
>> Know what ya mean.
>> Reverend Putty!
>> Know what ya mean.
>> Reverend Putty!
>> Off the clock, buddy.
>> Reverend Putty!
>> Off the clock, buddy.
Just stocking up
>> Off the clock, buddy.
Just stocking up
on a few unmentionables.
>> Well, look at this!
in years.
>> Gee, it's just
in years.
>> Gee, it's just
a trash can, Reverend.
>> Gee, it's just
a trash can, Reverend.
>> Just a trash can?
a trash can, Reverend.
>> Just a trash can?
Orel, this is a heart-shaped
>> Just a trash can?
Orel, this is a heart-shaped
trash can.
Orel, this is a heart-shaped
trash can.
>> Oh...
trash can.
>> Oh...
>> For the bedroom.
>> Oh...
>> For the bedroom.
The ladies go nuts for it.
>> For the bedroom.
The ladies go nuts for it.
>> They do?
The ladies go nuts for it.
>> They do?
>> Better than raw oysters
>> They do?
>> Better than raw oysters
and a bottomless bank account.
>> Better than raw oysters
and a bottomless bank account.
Had one just like this
and a bottomless bank account.
Had one just like this
years ago,
Had one just like this
years ago,
but it mysteriously disappeared.
years ago,
but it mysteriously disappeared.
>> Golly!
but it mysteriously disappeared.
>> Golly!
Who do you think stole it?
>> Golly!
Who do you think stole it?
>> Some cad.
Who do you think stole it?
>> Some cad.
>> Yep, this little baby's
>> Some cad.
>> Yep, this little baby's
a big seller.
>> Yep, this little baby's
a big seller.
Great for holding all kinds
a big seller.
Great for holding all kinds
of bedside trash.
Great for holding all kinds
of bedside trash.
You know, tissues, empty
of bedside trash.
You know, tissues, empty
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
You know, tissues, empty
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
>> Yeah, great. I'll take it.
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
>> Yeah, great. I'll take it.
Keep the change.
>> Yeah, great. I'll take it.
Keep the change.
>> Heh, virgins...
Keep the change.
>> Heh, virgins...
always born every minute.
>> Heh, virgins...
always born every minute.
[Whistling]
>> Hi ya, Stephanie!
>> Orel, You're right on time!
>> Yep.
>> Orel, You're right on time!
>> Yep.
>> Okay.
>> Yep.
>> Okay.
Give it your best shot.
>> Okay.
Give it your best shot.
>> Well, I just know church
Give it your best shot.
>> Well, I just know church
is going to be really swell
>> Well, I just know church
is going to be really swell
this Sunday.
is going to be really swell
this Sunday.
>> You say that every week.
this Sunday.
>> You say that every week.
>> I know, but Reverend Putty's
>> You say that every week.
>> I know, but Reverend Putty's
really been on fire lately!
>> I know, but Reverend Putty's
really been on fire lately!
>> Okay, Orel,
really been on fire lately!
>> Okay, Orel,
you talked me into it.
>> Okay, Orel,
you talked me into it.
>> Oh, all right.
you talked me into it.
>> Oh, all right.
Maybe next wee--
>> Oh, all right.
Maybe next wee--
Wait, I did?!
Maybe next wee--
Wait, I did?!
You're coming to church
Wait, I did?!
You're coming to church
tomorrow?
You're coming to church
tomorrow?
>> Yep, Let's see what
tomorrow?
>> Yep, Let's see what
this Reverend Putty of yours
>> Yep, Let's see what
this Reverend Putty of yours
is made of.
this Reverend Putty of yours
is made of.
>> Oh boy!
is made of.
>> Oh boy!
That's great, Stephanie!
>> Oh boy!
That's great, Stephanie!
I...
That's great, Stephanie!
I...
Wow!
I...
Wow!
>> See ya tomorrow, Orel.
Wow!
>> See ya tomorrow, Orel.
>> Yeah!
>> See ya tomorrow, Orel.
>> Yeah!
Uh...boy!
>> Yeah!
Uh...boy!
Oh boy!
Uh...boy!
Oh boy!
>> "Oh boy" is right.
>> Ahhh!
[sighs]
[groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
Aw, forget it.
[groans]
Aw, forget it.
I'm not going to beg!
Aw, forget it.
I'm not going to beg!
Those days are over.
I'm not going to beg!
Those days are over.
Okay, fine!
Those days are over.
Okay, fine!
Lord, Putty here.
Okay, fine!
Lord, Putty here.
Reverend Putty,
Lord, Putty here.
Reverend Putty,
for what that's worth.
Reverend Putty,
for what that's worth.
I don't know
for what that's worth.
I don't know
what the deal is with you,
I don't know
what the deal is with you,
but I do and do and do for you,
what the deal is with you,
but I do and do and do for you,
and all I ask
but I do and do and do for you,
and all I ask
is one measly thing in return!
and all I ask
is one measly thing in return!
Seriously, is a lady
is one measly thing in return!
Seriously, is a lady
that difficult to conjure up?
Seriously, is a lady
that difficult to conjure up?
I mean, you make trees
that difficult to conjure up?
I mean, you make trees
for a living!
I mean, you make trees
for a living!
And I'm saying
for a living!
And I'm saying
it could be any lady!
And I'm saying
it could be any lady!
Any shape, any size, any colo--
it could be any lady!
Any shape, any size, any colo--
I mean, any weight.
Any shape, any size, any colo--
I mean, any weight.
The point is, I'm not picky.
I mean, any weight.
The point is, I'm not picky.
Amen.
The point is, I'm not picky.
Amen.
[Squirt]
Amen.
[Squirt]
[Reverend sighs pleasantly]
[Snoring]
>> Hello, Miss Censordoll!
How's the bedside waste basket
working out, Reverend?
How's the bedside waste basket
working out, Reverend?
>> Not now.
working out, Reverend?
>> Not now.
>> Humph.
>> Not now.
>> Humph.
>> Hi, Orel.
>> Humph.
>> Hi, Orel.
>> Stephanie!
>> Hi, Orel.
>> Stephanie!
You're actually here!
>> Stephanie!
You're actually here!
>> Yeah.
You're actually here!
>> Yeah.
>> Orel...
>> Yeah.
>> Orel...
Who's your friend?
>> Orel...
Who's your friend?
>> This is Stephanie!
Who's your friend?
>> This is Stephanie!
Stephanie, this is
>> This is Stephanie!
Stephanie, this is
the Reverend Putty.
Stephanie, this is
the Reverend Putty.
>> Charmed...
the Reverend Putty.
>> Charmed...
>> Nice place
>> Charmed...
>> Nice place
you have here, Revs.
>> Nice place
you have here, Revs.
See you inside, Orel.
you have here, Revs.
See you inside, Orel.
>> Revs...
See you inside, Orel.
>> Revs...
You better fasten
>> Revs...
You better fasten
your seat belt, Puppington.
You better fasten
your seat belt, Puppington.
This week's sermon's gonna
your seat belt, Puppington.
This week's sermon's gonna
make your head spin.
This week's sermon's gonna
make your head spin.
>> Golly!
make your head spin.
>> Golly!
>> [Clears throat]
>> Golly!
>> [Clears throat]
"Be fruitful and multiply!"
>> [Clears throat]
"Be fruitful and multiply!"
An order from God.
"Be fruitful and multiply!"
An order from God.
Let's do the math
An order from God.
Let's do the math
on this little doozy, shall we?
Let's do the math
on this little doozy, shall we?
He's not just saying
on this little doozy, shall we?
He's not just saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
He's not just saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
And he's not saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
And he's not saying
"subtract" or "divide,"
And he's not saying
"subtract" or "divide,"
or "take the square root
"subtract" or "divide,"
or "take the square root
of blah blah blah!"
or "take the square root
of blah blah blah!"
No! Multiply!
of blah blah blah!"
No! Multiply!
The Lord wants us to get busy
No! Multiply!
The Lord wants us to get busy
and fast, like little rabbits!
The Lord wants us to get busy
and fast, like little rabbits!
So that means we all have
and fast, like little rabbits!
So that means we all have
to work together on this.
So that means we all have
to work together on this.
No playing "hard-to-get"
to work together on this.
No playing "hard-to-get"
or pulling the old
No playing "hard-to-get"
or pulling the old
"let's-just-be-friends
or pulling the old
"let's-just-be-friends
switch-a-roo.
"let's-just-be-friends
switch-a-roo.
Are you following me, ladies?
switch-a-roo.
Are you following me, ladies?
Because remember this --
Are you following me, ladies?
Because remember this --
when you're "stuck up"
Because remember this --
when you're "stuck up"
you're gonna end up getting
when you're "stuck up"
you're gonna end up getting
"stuck down"...
you're gonna end up getting
"stuck down"...
in Hell!
"stuck down"...
in Hell!
Amen.
in Hell!
Amen.
>> Amen.
Amen.
>> Amen.
>> Okay, keep it moving.
>> Amen.
>> Okay, keep it moving.
God be with you.
>> Okay, keep it moving.
God be with you.
>> Reverend, I agree with you --
God be with you.
>> Reverend, I agree with you --
>> Let's go, let's go!
>> Reverend, I agree with you --
>> Let's go, let's go!
Show's over, folks.
>> Let's go, let's go!
Show's over, folks.
>> Drink!
Show's over, folks.
>> Drink!
>> Praise the Lord!
>> Drink!
>> Praise the Lord!
Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
>> Praise the Lord!
Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
Where you rushing off to,
Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
Where you rushing off to,
Little Lady?
Where you rushing off to,
Little Lady?
>> Nice talking
Little Lady?
>> Nice talking
up there, Revs.
>> Nice talking
up there, Revs.
I admire your subtlety.
up there, Revs.
I admire your subtlety.
Would you like to meet
I admire your subtlety.
Would you like to meet
for lunch sometime?
Would you like to meet
for lunch sometime?
>> Sure. I could eat.
for lunch sometime?
>> Sure. I could eat.
How's now?
>> Sure. I could eat.
How's now?
>> Now's a little soon.
How's now?
>> Now's a little soon.
>> [Stammering]
>> Now's a little soon.
>> [Stammering]
I mean, tomorrow.
>> [Stammering]
I mean, tomorrow.
Now, now. What is "now"?
I mean, tomorrow.
Now, now. What is "now"?
That's ridiculous, I didn't --
Now, now. What is "now"?
That's ridiculous, I didn't --
I don't even know
That's ridiculous, I didn't --
I don't even know
what "now" means.
I don't even know
what "now" means.
Is "now" even a word?
what "now" means.
Is "now" even a word?
Let me take it
Is "now" even a word?
Let me take it
for a little test drive.
Let me take it
for a little test drive.
Now--now--now-
for a little test drive.
Now--now--now-
now-now.
Now--now--now-
now-now.
Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
now-now.
Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
Tomorrow.
Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
Tomorrow.
>> Yeah.
Tomorrow.
>> Yeah.
Tomorrow's good for me.
>> Yeah.
Tomorrow's good for me.
>> You think she's your type?
Tomorrow's good for me.
>> You think she's your type?
>> Type?
>> You think she's your type?
>> Type?
There's a saying
>> Type?
There's a saying
in the God business --
There's a saying
in the God business --
"If they're praying
in the God business --
"If they're praying
out of fright,
"If they're praying
out of fright,
they're staying overnight."
out of fright,
they're staying overnight."
>> This is it. This is it.
they're staying overnight."
>> This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
>> This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
>> So... piercings,
This is it. This is it.
>> So... piercings,
a nutty haircut, and lunch
>> So... piercings,
a nutty haircut, and lunch
with a man of the cloth.
a nutty haircut, and lunch
with a man of the cloth.
What is your deal?
with a man of the cloth.
What is your deal?
>> I'm your daughter.
What is your deal?
>> I'm your daughter.
>> Uh-huh.
>> I'm your daughter.
>> Uh-huh.
Okay.
>> Uh-huh.
Okay.
And I'll be a black fireman.
Okay.
And I'll be a black fireman.
>> Reverend Putty...
And I'll be a black fireman.
>> Reverend Putty...
>> Call me, Rod.
>> Reverend Putty...
>> Call me, Rod.
>> Rod Putty?
>> Call me, Rod.
>> Rod Putty?
>> Speaking...
>> Rod Putty?
>> Speaking...
>> Okay, Rod.
>> Speaking...
>> Okay, Rod.
Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
>> Okay, Rod.
Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
>> The spinster?
Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
>> The spinster?
Yeah.
>> The spinster?
Yeah.
Gave me the heebie jeebies.
Yeah.
Gave me the heebie jeebies.
Don't get me wrong,
Gave me the heebie jeebies.
Don't get me wrong,
nice gams for an older woman,
Don't get me wrong,
nice gams for an older woman,
but weird.
nice gams for an older woman,
but weird.
>> Gladys was my mom.
but weird.
>> Gladys was my mom.
>> Come on!
>> Gladys was my mom.
>> Come on!
She's a religious nut.
>> Come on!
She's a religious nut.
And here in Moralton,
She's a religious nut.
And here in Moralton,
that's saying something.
And here in Moralton,
that's saying something.
>> She wasn't only
that's saying something.
>> She wasn't only
obsessed with God.
>> She wasn't only
obsessed with God.
She also had a passion
obsessed with God.
She also had a passion
for pastors.
She also had a passion
for pastors.
>> Oh...
for pastors.
>> Oh...
so you're a chip off the ol--
>> Oh...
so you're a chip off the ol--
>> No.
so you're a chip off the ol--
>> No.
I'm a chip off your ol' block.
>> No.
I'm a chip off your ol' block.
You're my dad.
I'm a chip off your ol' block.
You're my dad.
>> Please!
You're my dad.
>> Please!
How can I be your dad?
>> Please!
How can I be your dad?
I've never even had sex...
How can I be your dad?
I've never even had sex...
with Gladys Foamwire.
I've never even had sex...
with Gladys Foamwire.
>> Well, it seems
with Gladys Foamwire.
>> Well, it seems
she got a hold of your sperm.
>> Well, it seems
she got a hold of your sperm.
>> Okay!
she got a hold of your sperm.
>> Okay!
Not dinner conversation!
>> Okay!
Not dinner conversation!
I'm going!
Not dinner conversation!
I'm going!
[Doorbell rings]
I'm going!
[Doorbell rings]
>> [Sighs]
[Doorbell rings]
>> [Sighs]
Yes?
>> [Sighs]
Yes?
>> I'm sorry.
Yes?
>> I'm sorry.
I know our "date"
>> I'm sorry.
I know our "date"
turned out to be a dud.
I know our "date"
turned out to be a dud.
>> Understatement...
turned out to be a dud.
>> Understatement...
Look, lady, I don't know
>> Understatement...
Look, lady, I don't know
who you are,
Look, lady, I don't know
who you are,
but I guarantee you
who you are,
but I guarantee you
that it is physically impossible
but I guarantee you
that it is physically impossible
that I am your --
that it is physically impossible
that I am your --
My old tissue pail!
that I am your --
My old tissue pail!
Where'd you get this?
My old tissue pail!
Where'd you get this?
>> My mom.
Where'd you get this?
>> My mom.
>> Oh.
>> My mom.
>> Oh.
Come in.
>> Oh.
Come in.
>> Before she died,
Come in.
>> Before she died,
she gave me the basket,
>> Before she died,
she gave me the basket,
and told me all
she gave me the basket,
and told me all
the "fun-filled" circumstances
and told me all
the "fun-filled" circumstances
of my beginnings.
the "fun-filled" circumstances
of my beginnings.
>> Huh boy...
of my beginnings.
>> Huh boy...
>> Turns out she started spying
>> Huh boy...
>> Turns out she started spying
on you for weeks
>> Turns out she started spying
on you for weeks
before she even made her move.
on you for weeks
before she even made her move.
She had your whole routine down.
before she even made her move.
She had your whole routine down.
>> This is a nightmare...
She had your whole routine down.
>> This is a nightmare...
>> One night, she waited
>> This is a nightmare...
>> One night, she waited
till you were finished.
>> One night, she waited
till you were finished.
Apparently you pass out
till you were finished.
Apparently you pass out
pretty hard and quick,
Apparently you pass out
pretty hard and quick,
big guy.
pretty hard and quick,
big guy.
>> Please get to the end
big guy.
>> Please get to the end
of the story.
>> Please get to the end
of the story.
>> Then she crawled
of the story.
>> Then she crawled
through the window,
>> Then she crawled
through the window,
swiped it
through the window,
swiped it
and left.
swiped it
and left.
>> Figures that that's how
and left.
>> Figures that that's how
I get a daughter.
>> Figures that that's how
I get a daughter.
It just isn't fair!
I get a daughter.
It just isn't fair!
Uh, I mean,
It just isn't fair!
Uh, I mean,
I never even got to enjoy
Uh, I mean,
I never even got to enjoy
your best years.
I never even got to enjoy
your best years.
>> Believe me.
your best years.
>> Believe me.
The best years weren't
>> Believe me.
The best years weren't
as interesting as my conception.
The best years weren't
as interesting as my conception.
>> Yeah, well,
as interesting as my conception.
>> Yeah, well,
on your end, maybe.
>> Yeah, well,
on your end, maybe.
On my end, even your conception
on your end, maybe.
On my end, even your conception
was a yawner.
On my end, even your conception
was a yawner.
There's no rule
was a yawner.
There's no rule
that says I have to be a virgin.
There's no rule
that says I have to be a virgin.
I could have consummated with
that says I have to be a virgin.
I could have consummated with
your mother in a proper fashion.
I could have consummated with
your mother in a proper fashion.
>> Well, all my mom
your mother in a proper fashion.
>> Well, all my mom
wanted from you was your sperm.
>> Well, all my mom
wanted from you was your sperm.
>> Oh geez!
wanted from you was your sperm.
>> Oh geez!
I'm telling you,
>> Oh geez!
I'm telling you,
that stuff's way overrated.
I'm telling you,
that stuff's way overrated.
It's the least interesting
that stuff's way overrated.
It's the least interesting
part of me.
It's the least interesting
part of me.
I mean, on the outside,
part of me.
I mean, on the outside,
I'm so much more...fun.
I mean, on the outside,
I'm so much more...fun.
>> Apparently, there was
I'm so much more...fun.
>> Apparently, there was
a little life left in the ol'
>> Apparently, there was
a little life left in the ol'
tissue basket that night.
a little life left in the ol'
tissue basket that night.
>> Lousy tissue basket
tissue basket that night.
>> Lousy tissue basket
gets all the luck...
>> Lousy tissue basket
gets all the luck...
>> So I know that
gets all the luck...
>> So I know that
we don't have any kind
>> So I know that
we don't have any kind
of connection or relationship
we don't have any kind
of connection or relationship
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
of connection or relationship
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
I just wanted to fill you in
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
I just wanted to fill you in
on this funny little story.
I just wanted to fill you in
on this funny little story.
>> Yeah.
on this funny little story.
>> Yeah.
Um, we don't need to tell
>> Yeah.
Um, we don't need to tell
anyone else any of this --
Um, we don't need to tell
anyone else any of this --
>> Oh yeah, I really wanna
anyone else any of this --
>> Oh yeah, I really wanna
shout it from
>> Oh yeah, I really wanna
shout it from
the highest mountain.
>> Orel!
What are you doing here?
>> Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
What are you doing here?
>> Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
I just came by to hang out
>> Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
I just came by to hang out
a little with my pal!
I just came by to hang out
a little with my pal!
>> Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
a little with my pal!
>> Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
here when you arrived.
>> Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
here when you arrived.
>> No, I mean Jesus!
here when you arrived.
>> No, I mean Jesus!
>> Oh, yeah.
>> No, I mean Jesus!
>> Oh, yeah.
Him.
>> Oh, yeah.
Him.
Orel, what makes you so happy?
Him.
Orel, what makes you so happy?
>> Gee, I don't know,
Orel, what makes you so happy?
>> Gee, I don't know,
Reverend.
>> Gee, I don't know,
Reverend.
What makes someone not happy?
Reverend.
What makes someone not happy?
>> Gee, I don't know, Orel.
What makes someone not happy?
>> Gee, I don't know, Orel.
Life?
>> Gee, I don't know, Orel.
Life?
>> Hmmm.
Life?
>> Hmmm.
I do get down sometimes...
>> Hmmm.
I do get down sometimes...
but that's when I'm confused
I do get down sometimes...
but that's when I'm confused
and not sure of things.
but that's when I'm confused
and not sure of things.
>> Ever get lonely?
and not sure of things.
>> Ever get lonely?
>> Nope.
>> Ever get lonely?
>> Nope.
>> Okay, well,
>> Nope.
>> Okay, well,
this is pointless...
>> Okay, well,
this is pointless...
>> There's just so many ways
this is pointless...
>> There's just so many ways
not to be lonely!
>> There's just so many ways
not to be lonely!
There are friends, family,
not to be lonely!
There are friends, family,
faith...
There are friends, family,
faith...
Hey, those are all "F" words!
faith...
Hey, those are all "F" words!
I wonder if there are other ways
Hey, those are all "F" words!
I wonder if there are other ways
not to be lonely that also
I wonder if there are other ways
not to be lonely that also
start with "F."
>> Think of any, yet?
>> Um, no.
>> Holy Moley...
>> Um, no.
>> Holy Moley...
You are pure pureness
>> Holy Moley...
You are pure pureness
in its purest form.
You are pure pureness
in its purest form.
It's almost irritating.
in its purest form.
It's almost irritating.
But tell me more, Orel!
It's almost irritating.
But tell me more, Orel!
>> Well...
But tell me more, Orel!
>> Well...
>> Wait!
>> Well...
>> Wait!
>> Oh,
>> Wait!
>> Oh,
Up here?
>> Oh,
Up here?
>> Yeah yeah yeah!
Up here?
>> Yeah yeah yeah!
>> Golly!
>> Yeah yeah yeah!
>> Golly!
Well, I think that as long
>> Golly!
Well, I think that as long
as you have at least one
Well, I think that as long
as you have at least one
of those "F" words in your life,
as you have at least one
of those "F" words in your life,
you can't be lonely!
of those "F" words in your life,
you can't be lonely!
For you see,
you can't be lonely!
For you see,
a lot of the problems start
For you see,
a lot of the problems start
when people get too greedy
a lot of the problems start
when people get too greedy
and want all the "F" words,
when people get too greedy
and want all the "F" words,
and don't appreciate
and want all the "F" words,
and don't appreciate
the ones that they have.
and don't appreciate
the ones that they have.
Then they're just making
the ones that they have.
Then they're just making
their lives miserable.
Then they're just making
their lives miserable.
[Chuckling]
their lives miserable.
[Chuckling]
And who ever heard of someone
[Chuckling]
And who ever heard of someone
actually wanting to make
And who ever heard of someone
actually wanting to make
his life miserable?
actually wanting to make
his life miserable?
Amen.
his life miserable?
Amen.
>> Amen.
>> Reverend Putty?
>> Hi.
>> You're not gonna
>> Hi.
>> You're not gonna
flash me, are you?
>> You're not gonna
flash me, are you?
>> Nah.
flash me, are you?
>> Nah.
I just came in to...uh...
>> Nah.
I just came in to...uh...
>> Would you like
I just came in to...uh...
>> Would you like
A nipple piercing?
>> Would you like
A nipple piercing?
>> No, I couldn't.
A nipple piercing?
>> No, I couldn't.
>> Then what do you need?
>> No, I couldn't.
>> Then what do you need?
>> Um.
>> Then what do you need?
>> Um.
Well, you see, Stephanie...
>> Um.
Well, you see, Stephanie...
>> Yes, Reverend?
Well, you see, Stephanie...
>> Yes, Reverend?
>> You know what?
>> Yes, Reverend?
>> You know what?
Let's cut just
>> You know what?
Let's cut just
the Reverend stuff, huh.
Let's cut just
the Reverend stuff, huh.
>> What would you prefer?
the Reverend stuff, huh.
>> What would you prefer?
Pastor?
>> What would you prefer?
Pastor?
Minister?
Pastor?
Minister?
Brother?
Minister?
Brother?
Rod?
Brother?
Rod?
>> How about Father?
Rod?
>> How about Father?
>> Sounds a little too Catholic,
>> How about Father?
>> Sounds a little too Catholic,
doesn't it?
>> Sounds a little too Catholic,
doesn't it?
>> Hmm.
doesn't it?
>> Hmm.
You're right.
>> Hmm.
You're right.
Better make it Dad.
BY TURNER STUDIOS
>> Howdy, Mr. Figurelli!
>> Hey there, Orel.
What can I get ya?
>> Hey there, Orel.
What can I get ya?
>> Well, my Dad needs
What can I get ya?
>> Well, my Dad needs
a new belt.
>> Well, my Dad needs
a new belt.
>> Wore the last one out
a new belt.
>> Wore the last one out
already, huh, kid?
>> Wore the last one out
already, huh, kid?
>> Yeah.
already, huh, kid?
>> Yeah.
Learning sure gets complicated
>> Yeah.
Learning sure gets complicated
sometimes.
Learning sure gets complicated
sometimes.
>> Know what ya mean.
sometimes.
>> Know what ya mean.
>> Reverend Putty!
>> Know what ya mean.
>> Reverend Putty!
>> Off the clock, buddy.
>> Reverend Putty!
>> Off the clock, buddy.
Just stocking up
>> Off the clock, buddy.
Just stocking up
on a few unmentionables.
>> Well, look at this!
in years.
>> Gee, it's just
in years.
>> Gee, it's just
a trash can, Reverend.
>> Gee, it's just
a trash can, Reverend.
>> Just a trash can?
a trash can, Reverend.
>> Just a trash can?
Orel, this is a heart-shaped
>> Just a trash can?
Orel, this is a heart-shaped
trash can.
Orel, this is a heart-shaped
trash can.
>> Oh...
trash can.
>> Oh...
>> For the bedroom.
>> Oh...
>> For the bedroom.
The ladies go nuts for it.
>> For the bedroom.
The ladies go nuts for it.
>> They do?
The ladies go nuts for it.
>> They do?
>> Better than raw oysters
>> They do?
>> Better than raw oysters
and a bottomless bank account.
>> Better than raw oysters
and a bottomless bank account.
Had one just like this
and a bottomless bank account.
Had one just like this
years ago,
Had one just like this
years ago,
but it mysteriously disappeared.
years ago,
but it mysteriously disappeared.
>> Golly!
but it mysteriously disappeared.
>> Golly!
Who do you think stole it?
>> Golly!
Who do you think stole it?
>> Some cad.
Who do you think stole it?
>> Some cad.
>> Yep, this little baby's
>> Some cad.
>> Yep, this little baby's
a big seller.
>> Yep, this little baby's
a big seller.
Great for holding all kinds
a big seller.
Great for holding all kinds
of bedside trash.
Great for holding all kinds
of bedside trash.
You know, tissues, empty
of bedside trash.
You know, tissues, empty
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
You know, tissues, empty
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
>> Yeah, great. I'll take it.
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
>> Yeah, great. I'll take it.
Keep the change.
>> Yeah, great. I'll take it.
Keep the change.
>> Heh, virgins...
Keep the change.
>> Heh, virgins...
always born every minute.
>> Heh, virgins...
always born every minute.
[Whistling]
>> Hi ya, Stephanie!
>> Orel, You're right on time!
>> Yep.
>> Orel, You're right on time!
>> Yep.
>> Okay.
>> Yep.
>> Okay.
Give it your best shot.
>> Okay.
Give it your best shot.
>> Well, I just know church
Give it your best shot.
>> Well, I just know church
is going to be really swell
>> Well, I just know church
is going to be really swell
this Sunday.
is going to be really swell
this Sunday.
>> You say that every week.
this Sunday.
>> You say that every week.
>> I know, but Reverend Putty's
>> You say that every week.
>> I know, but Reverend Putty's
really been on fire lately!
>> I know, but Reverend Putty's
really been on fire lately!
>> Okay, Orel,
really been on fire lately!
>> Okay, Orel,
you talked me into it.
>> Okay, Orel,
you talked me into it.
>> Oh, all right.
you talked me into it.
>> Oh, all right.
Maybe next wee--
>> Oh, all right.
Maybe next wee--
Wait, I did?!
Maybe next wee--
Wait, I did?!
You're coming to church
Wait, I did?!
You're coming to church
tomorrow?
You're coming to church
tomorrow?
>> Yep, Let's see what
tomorrow?
>> Yep, Let's see what
this Reverend Putty of yours
>> Yep, Let's see what
this Reverend Putty of yours
is made of.
this Reverend Putty of yours
is made of.
>> Oh boy!
is made of.
>> Oh boy!
That's great, Stephanie!
>> Oh boy!
That's great, Stephanie!
I...
That's great, Stephanie!
I...
Wow!
I...
Wow!
>> See ya tomorrow, Orel.
Wow!
>> See ya tomorrow, Orel.
>> Yeah!
>> See ya tomorrow, Orel.
>> Yeah!
Uh...boy!
>> Yeah!
Uh...boy!
Oh boy!
Uh...boy!
Oh boy!
>> "Oh boy" is right.
>> Ahhh!
[sighs]
[groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
Aw, forget it.
[groans]
Aw, forget it.
I'm not going to beg!
Aw, forget it.
I'm not going to beg!
Those days are over.
I'm not going to beg!
Those days are over.
Okay, fine!
Those days are over.
Okay, fine!
Lord, Putty here.
Okay, fine!
Lord, Putty here.
Reverend Putty,
Lord, Putty here.
Reverend Putty,
for what that's worth.
Reverend Putty,
for what that's worth.
I don't know
for what that's worth.
I don't know
what the deal is with you,
I don't know
what the deal is with you,
but I do and do and do for you,
what the deal is with you,
but I do and do and do for you,
and all I ask
but I do and do and do for you,
and all I ask
is one measly thing in return!
and all I ask
is one measly thing in return!
Seriously, is a lady
is one measly thing in return!
Seriously, is a lady
that difficult to conjure up?
Seriously, is a lady
that difficult to conjure up?
I mean, you make trees
that difficult to conjure up?
I mean, you make trees
for a living!
I mean, you make trees
for a living!
And I'm saying
for a living!
And I'm saying
it could be any lady!
And I'm saying
it could be any lady!
Any shape, any size, any colo--
it could be any lady!
Any shape, any size, any colo--
I mean, any weight.
Any shape, any size, any colo--
I mean, any weight.
The point is, I'm not picky.
I mean, any weight.
The point is, I'm not picky.
Amen.
The point is, I'm not picky.
Amen.
[Squirt]
Amen.
[Squirt]
[Reverend sighs pleasantly]
[Snoring]
>> Hello, Miss Censordoll!
How's the bedside waste basket
working out, Reverend?
How's the bedside waste basket
working out, Reverend?
>> Not now.
working out, Reverend?
>> Not now.
>> Humph.
>> Not now.
>> Humph.
>> Hi, Orel.
>> Humph.
>> Hi, Orel.
>> Stephanie!
>> Hi, Orel.
>> Stephanie!
You're actually here!
>> Stephanie!
You're actually here!
>> Yeah.
You're actually here!
>> Yeah.
>> Orel...
>> Yeah.
>> Orel...
Who's your friend?
>> Orel...
Who's your friend?
>> This is Stephanie!
Who's your friend?
>> This is Stephanie!
Stephanie, this is
>> This is Stephanie!
Stephanie, this is
the Reverend Putty.
Stephanie, this is
the Reverend Putty.
>> Charmed...
the Reverend Putty.
>> Charmed...
>> Nice place
>> Charmed...
>> Nice place
you have here, Revs.
>> Nice place
you have here, Revs.
See you inside, Orel.
you have here, Revs.
See you inside, Orel.
>> Revs...
See you inside, Orel.
>> Revs...
You better fasten
>> Revs...
You better fasten
your seat belt, Puppington.
You better fasten
your seat belt, Puppington.
This week's sermon's gonna
your seat belt, Puppington.
This week's sermon's gonna
make your head spin.
This week's sermon's gonna
make your head spin.
>> Golly!
make your head spin.
>> Golly!
>> [Clears throat]
>> Golly!
>> [Clears throat]
"Be fruitful and multiply!"
>> [Clears throat]
"Be fruitful and multiply!"
An order from God.
"Be fruitful and multiply!"
An order from God.
Let's do the math
An order from God.
Let's do the math
on this little doozy, shall we?
Let's do the math
on this little doozy, shall we?
He's not just saying
on this little doozy, shall we?
He's not just saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
He's not just saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
And he's not saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
And he's not saying
"subtract" or "divide,"
And he's not saying
"subtract" or "divide,"
or "take the square root
"subtract" or "divide,"
or "take the square root
of blah blah blah!"
or "take the square root
of blah blah blah!"
No! Multiply!
of blah blah blah!"
No! Multiply!
The Lord wants us to get busy
No! Multiply!
The Lord wants us to get busy
and fast, like little rabbits!
The Lord wants us to get busy
and fast, like little rabbits!
So that means we all have
and fast, like little rabbits!
So that means we all have
to work together on this.
So that means we all have
to work together on this.
No playing "hard-to-get"
to work together on this.
No playing "hard-to-get"
or pulling the old
No playing "hard-to-get"
or pulling the old
"let's-just-be-friends
or pulling the old
"let's-just-be-friends
switch-a-roo.
"let's-just-be-friends
switch-a-roo.
Are you following me, ladies?
switch-a-roo.
Are you following me, ladies?
Because remember this --
Are you following me, ladies?
Because remember this --
when you're "stuck up"
Because remember this --
when you're "stuck up"
you're gonna end up getting
when you're "stuck up"
you're gonna end up getting
"stuck down"...
you're gonna end up getting
"stuck down"...
in Hell!
"stuck down"...
in Hell!
Amen.
in Hell!
Amen.
>> Amen.
Amen.
>> Amen.
>> Okay, keep it moving.
>> Amen.
>> Okay, keep it moving.
God be with you.
>> Okay, keep it moving.
God be with you.
>> Reverend, I agree with you --
God be with you.
>> Reverend, I agree with you --
>> Let's go, let's go!
>> Reverend, I agree with you --
>> Let's go, let's go!
Show's over, folks.
>> Let's go, let's go!
Show's over, folks.
>> Drink!
Show's over, folks.
>> Drink!
>> Praise the Lord!
>> Drink!
>> Praise the Lord!
Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
>> Praise the Lord!
Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
Where you rushing off to,
Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
Where you rushing off to,
Little Lady?
Where you rushing off to,
Little Lady?
>> Nice talking
Little Lady?
>> Nice talking
up there, Revs.
>> Nice talking
up there, Revs.
I admire your subtlety.
up there, Revs.
I admire your subtlety.
Would you like to meet
I admire your subtlety.
Would you like to meet
for lunch sometime?
Would you like to meet
for lunch sometime?
>> Sure. I could eat.
for lunch sometime?
>> Sure. I could eat.
How's now?
>> Sure. I could eat.
How's now?
>> Now's a little soon.
How's now?
>> Now's a little soon.
>> [Stammering]
>> Now's a little soon.
>> [Stammering]
I mean, tomorrow.
>> [Stammering]
I mean, tomorrow.
Now, now. What is "now"?
I mean, tomorrow.
Now, now. What is "now"?
That's ridiculous, I didn't --
Now, now. What is "now"?
That's ridiculous, I didn't --
I don't even know
That's ridiculous, I didn't --
I don't even know
what "now" means.
I don't even know
what "now" means.
Is "now" even a word?
what "now" means.
Is "now" even a word?
Let me take it
Is "now" even a word?
Let me take it
for a little test drive.
Let me take it
for a little test drive.
Now--now--now-
for a little test drive.
Now--now--now-
now-now.
Now--now--now-
now-now.
Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
now-now.
Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
Tomorrow.
Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
Tomorrow.
>> Yeah.
Tomorrow.
>> Yeah.
Tomorrow's good for me.
>> Yeah.
Tomorrow's good for me.
>> You think she's your type?
Tomorrow's good for me.
>> You think she's your type?
>> Type?
>> You think she's your type?
>> Type?
There's a saying
>> Type?
There's a saying
in the God business --
There's a saying
in the God business --
"If they're praying
in the God business --
"If they're praying
out of fright,
"If they're praying
out of fright,
they're staying overnight."
out of fright,
they're staying overnight."
>> This is it. This is it.
they're staying overnight."
>> This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
>> This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
>> So... piercings,
This is it. This is it.
>> So... piercings,
a nutty haircut, and lunch
>> So... piercings,
a nutty haircut, and lunch
with a man of the cloth.
a nutty haircut, and lunch
with a man of the cloth.
What is your deal?
with a man of the cloth.
What is your deal?
>> I'm your daughter.
What is your deal?
>> I'm your daughter.
>> Uh-huh.
>> I'm your daughter.
>> Uh-huh.
Okay.
>> Uh-huh.
Okay.
And I'll be a black fireman.
Okay.
And I'll be a black fireman.
>> Reverend Putty...
And I'll be a black fireman.
>> Reverend Putty...
>> Call me, Rod.
>> Reverend Putty...
>> Call me, Rod.
>> Rod Putty?
>> Call me, Rod.
>> Rod Putty?
>> Speaking...
>> Rod Putty?
>> Speaking...
>> Okay, Rod.
>> Speaking...
>> Okay, Rod.
Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
>> Okay, Rod.
Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
>> The spinster?
Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
>> The spinster?
Yeah.
>> The spinster?
Yeah.
Gave me the heebie jeebies.
Yeah.
Gave me the heebie jeebies.
Don't get me wrong,
Gave me the heebie jeebies.
Don't get me wrong,
nice gams for an older woman,
Don't get me wrong,
nice gams for an older woman,
but weird.
nice gams for an older woman,
but weird.
>> Gladys was my mom.
but weird.
>> Gladys was my mom.
>> Come on!
>> Gladys was my mom.
>> Come on!
She's a religious nut.
>> Come on!
She's a religious nut.
And here in Moralton,
She's a religious nut.
And here in Moralton,
that's saying something.
And here in Moralton,
that's saying something.
>> She wasn't only
that's saying something.
>> She wasn't only
obsessed with God.
>> She wasn't only
obsessed with God.
She also had a passion
obsessed with God.
She also had a passion
for pastors.
She also had a passion
for pastors.
>> Oh...
for pastors.
>> Oh...
so you're a chip off the ol--
>> Oh...
so you're a chip off the ol--
>> No.
so you're a chip off the ol--
>> No.
I'm a chip off your ol' block.
>> No.
I'm a chip off your ol' block.
You're my dad.
I'm a chip off your ol' block.
You're my dad.
>> Please!
You're my dad.
>> Please!
How can I be your dad?
>> Please!
How can I be your dad?
I've never even had sex...
How can I be your dad?
I've never even had sex...
with Gladys Foamwire.
I've never even had sex...
with Gladys Foamwire.
>> Well, it seems
with Gladys Foamwire.
>> Well, it seems
she got a hold of your sperm.
>> Well, it seems
she got a hold of your sperm.
>> Okay!
she got a hold of your sperm.
>> Okay!
Not dinner conversation!
>> Okay!
Not dinner conversation!
I'm going!
Not dinner conversation!
I'm going!
[Doorbell rings]
I'm going!
[Doorbell rings]
>> [Sighs]
[Doorbell rings]
>> [Sighs]
Yes?
>> [Sighs]
Yes?
>> I'm sorry.
Yes?
>> I'm sorry.
I know our "date"
>> I'm sorry.
I know our "date"
turned out to be a dud.
I know our "date"
turned out to be a dud.
>> Understatement...
turned out to be a dud.
>> Understatement...
Look, lady, I don't know
>> Understatement...
Look, lady, I don't know
who you are,
Look, lady, I don't know
who you are,
but I guarantee you
who you are,
but I guarantee you
that it is physically impossible
but I guarantee you
that it is physically impossible
that I am your --
that it is physically impossible
that I am your --
My old tissue pail!
that I am your --
My old tissue pail!
Where'd you get this?
My old tissue pail!
Where'd you get this?
>> My mom.
Where'd you get this?
>> My mom.
>> Oh.
>> My mom.
>> Oh.
Come in.
>> Oh.
Come in.
>> Before she died,
Come in.
>> Before she died,
she gave me the basket,
>> Before she died,
she gave me the basket,
and told me all
she gave me the basket,
and told me all
the "fun-filled" circumstances
and told me all
the "fun-filled" circumstances
of my beginnings.
the "fun-filled" circumstances
of my beginnings.
>> Huh boy...
of my beginnings.
>> Huh boy...
>> Turns out she started spying
>> Huh boy...
>> Turns out she started spying
on you for weeks
>> Turns out she started spying
on you for weeks
before she even made her move.
on you for weeks
before she even made her move.
She had your whole routine down.
before she even made her move.
She had your whole routine down.
>> This is a nightmare...
She had your whole routine down.
>> This is a nightmare...
>> One night, she waited
>> This is a nightmare...
>> One night, she waited
till you were finished.
>> One night, she waited
till you were finished.
Apparently you pass out
till you were finished.
Apparently you pass out
pretty hard and quick,
Apparently you pass out
pretty hard and quick,
big guy.
pretty hard and quick,
big guy.
>> Please get to the end
big guy.
>> Please get to the end
of the story.
>> Please get to the end
of the story.
>> Then she crawled
of the story.
>> Then she crawled
through the window,
>> Then she crawled
through the window,
swiped it
through the window,
swiped it
and left.
swiped it
and left.
>> Figures that that's how
and left.
>> Figures that that's how
I get a daughter.
>> Figures that that's how
I get a daughter.
It just isn't fair!
I get a daughter.
It just isn't fair!
Uh, I mean,
It just isn't fair!
Uh, I mean,
I never even got to enjoy
Uh, I mean,
I never even got to enjoy
your best years.
I never even got to enjoy
your best years.
>> Believe me.
your best years.
>> Believe me.
The best years weren't
>> Believe me.
The best years weren't
as interesting as my conception.
The best years weren't
as interesting as my conception.
>> Yeah, well,
as interesting as my conception.
>> Yeah, well,
on your end, maybe.
>> Yeah, well,
on your end, maybe.
On my end, even your conception
on your end, maybe.
On my end, even your conception
was a yawner.
On my end, even your conception
was a yawner.
There's no rule
was a yawner.
There's no rule
that says I have to be a virgin.
There's no rule
that says I have to be a virgin.
I could have consummated with
that says I have to be a virgin.
I could have consummated with
your mother in a proper fashion.
I could have consummated with
your mother in a proper fashion.
>> Well, all my mom
your mother in a proper fashion.
>> Well, all my mom
wanted from you was your sperm.
>> Well, all my mom
wanted from you was your sperm.
>> Oh geez!
wanted from you was your sperm.
>> Oh geez!
I'm telling you,
>> Oh geez!
I'm telling you,
that stuff's way overrated.
I'm telling you,
that stuff's way overrated.
It's the least interesting
that stuff's way overrated.
It's the least interesting
part of me.
It's the least interesting
part of me.
I mean, on the outside,
part of me.
I mean, on the outside,
I'm so much more...fun.
I mean, on the outside,
I'm so much more...fun.
>> Apparently, there was
I'm so much more...fun.
>> Apparently, there was
a little life left in the ol'
>> Apparently, there was
a little life left in the ol'
tissue basket that night.
a little life left in the ol'
tissue basket that night.
>> Lousy tissue basket
tissue basket that night.
>> Lousy tissue basket
gets all the luck...
>> Lousy tissue basket
gets all the luck...
>> So I know that
gets all the luck...
>> So I know that
we don't have any kind
>> So I know that
we don't have any kind
of connection or relationship
we don't have any kind
of connection or relationship
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
of connection or relationship
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
I just wanted to fill you in
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
I just wanted to fill you in
on this funny little story.
I just wanted to fill you in
on this funny little story.
>> Yeah.
on this funny little story.
>> Yeah.
Um, we don't need to tell
>> Yeah.
Um, we don't need to tell
anyone else any of this --
Um, we don't need to tell
anyone else any of this --
>> Oh yeah, I really wanna
anyone else any of this --
>> Oh yeah, I really wanna
shout it from
>> Oh yeah, I really wanna
shout it from
the highest mountain.
>> Orel!
What are you doing here?
>> Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
What are you doing here?
>> Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
I just came by to hang out
>> Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
I just came by to hang out
a little with my pal!
I just came by to hang out
a little with my pal!
>> Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
a little with my pal!
>> Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
here when you arrived.
>> Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
here when you arrived.
>> No, I mean Jesus!
here when you arrived.
>> No, I mean Jesus!
>> Oh, yeah.
>> No, I mean Jesus!
>> Oh, yeah.
Him.
>> Oh, yeah.
Him.
Orel, what makes you so happy?
Him.
Orel, what makes you so happy?
>> Gee, I don't know,
Orel, what makes you so happy?
>> Gee, I don't know,
Reverend.
>> Gee, I don't know,
Reverend.
What makes someone not happy?
Reverend.
What makes someone not happy?
>> Gee, I don't know, Orel.
What makes someone not happy?
>> Gee, I don't know, Orel.
Life?
>> Gee, I don't know, Orel.
Life?
>> Hmmm.
Life?
>> Hmmm.
I do get down sometimes...
>> Hmmm.
I do get down sometimes...
but that's when I'm confused
I do get down sometimes...
but that's when I'm confused
and not sure of things.
but that's when I'm confused
and not sure of things.
>> Ever get lonely?
and not sure of things.
>> Ever get lonely?
>> Nope.
>> Ever get lonely?
>> Nope.
>> Okay, well,
>> Nope.
>> Okay, well,
this is pointless...
>> Okay, well,
this is pointless...
>> There's just so many ways
this is pointless...
>> There's just so many ways
not to be lonely!
>> There's just so many ways
not to be lonely!
There are friends, family,
not to be lonely!
There are friends, family,
faith...
There are friends, family,
faith...
Hey, those are all "F" words!
faith...
Hey, those are all "F" words!
I wonder if there are other ways
Hey, those are all "F" words!
I wonder if there are other ways
not to be lonely that also
I wonder if there are other ways
not to be lonely that also
start with "F."
>> Think of any, yet?
>> Um, no.
>> Holy Moley...
>> Um, no.
>> Holy Moley...
You are pure pureness
>> Holy Moley...
You are pure pureness
in its purest form.
You are pure pureness
in its purest form.
It's almost irritating.
in its purest form.
It's almost irritating.
But tell me more, Orel!
It's almost irritating.
But tell me more, Orel!
>> Well...
But tell me more, Orel!
>> Well...
>> Wait!
>> Well...
>> Wait!
>> Oh,
>> Wait!
>> Oh,
Up here?
>> Oh,
Up here?
>> Yeah yeah yeah!
Up here?
>> Yeah yeah yeah!
>> Golly!
>> Yeah yeah yeah!
>> Golly!
Well, I think that as long
>> Golly!
Well, I think that as long
as you have at least one
Well, I think that as long
as you have at least one
of those "F" words in your life,
as you have at least one
of those "F" words in your life,
you can't be lonely!
of those "F" words in your life,
you can't be lonely!
For you see,
you can't be lonely!
For you see,
a lot of the problems start
For you see,
a lot of the problems start
when people get too greedy
a lot of the problems start
when people get too greedy
and want all the "F" words,
when people get too greedy
and want all the "F" words,
and don't appreciate
and want all the "F" words,
and don't appreciate
the ones that they have.
and don't appreciate
the ones that they have.
Then they're just making
the ones that they have.
Then they're just making
their lives miserable.
Then they're just making
their lives miserable.
[Chuckling]
their lives miserable.
[Chuckling]
And who ever heard of someone
[Chuckling]
And who ever heard of someone
actually wanting to make
And who ever heard of someone
actually wanting to make
his life miserable?
actually wanting to make
his life miserable?
Amen.
his life miserable?
Amen.
>> Amen.
>> Reverend Putty?
>> Hi.
>> You're not gonna
>> Hi.
>> You're not gonna
flash me, are you?
>> You're not gonna
flash me, are you?
>> Nah.
flash me, are you?
>> Nah.
I just came in to...uh...
>> Nah.
I just came in to...uh...
>> Would you like
I just came in to...uh...
>> Would you like
A nipple piercing?
>> Would you like
A nipple piercing?
>> No, I couldn't.
A nipple piercing?
>> No, I couldn't.
>> Then what do you need?
>> No, I couldn't.
>> Then what do you need?
>> Um.
>> Then what do you need?
>> Um.
Well, you see, Stephanie...
>> Um.
Well, you see, Stephanie...
>> Yes, Reverend?
Well, you see, Stephanie...
>> Yes, Reverend?
>> You know what?
>> Yes, Reverend?
>> You know what?
Let's cut just
>> You know what?
Let's cut just
the Reverend stuff, huh.
Let's cut just
the Reverend stuff, huh.
>> What would you prefer?
the Reverend stuff, huh.
>> What would you prefer?
Pastor?
>> What would you prefer?
Pastor?
Minister?
Pastor?
Minister?
Brother?
Minister?
Brother?
Rod?
Brother?
Rod?
>> How about Father?
Rod?
>> How about Father?
>> Sounds a little too Catholic,
>> How about Father?
>> Sounds a little too Catholic,
doesn't it?
>> Sounds a little too Catholic,
doesn't it?
>> Hmm.
doesn't it?
>> Hmm.
You're right.
>> Hmm.
You're right.
Better make it Dad.