Moonshiners (2011–…): Season 2, Episode 11 - Hat in Hand - full transcript

If I won the powerball jackpot,

The first thing
I would purchase...

...Would probably be the note
On my mama and daddy's house.

Second thing I'm gonna purchase
Is gonna be a mountain.

Then after I buy that mountain,

I'm gonna level the top
Off of it,

Build me a castle
On that son of a bitch,

And then I'm gonna live there
For the rest of my life

Where can't nobody bother me.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Ow!



Whoo!
Ha!

Tonight on "Moonshiners"...

That looks like tickle.

I'm owing some people some
Money. Can you help me?

I'm afraid
That this project is doomed.

We're behind schedule,
As always.

That *bleep*
$36 a gallon, man.

We're past the point
Of no return.

I hope this is it.
Me too.

We just know they're
Gonna come up with
A piece of this car.

Fire!

Moonshine is a part
Of our history.

It exists, but it doesn't,
Almost like a myth.

I'm america's
Most-wanted moonshiner.



That's not a good feeling,
To be wanted by the law.

I live on the edge of anarchy.

Police! Search warrant!

It's very hard
To catch moonshiners.

Let's skedaddle.

They're very smart.

There can only be one chief.

I'm wondering if we're gonna
Pull this thing off.

Uh-oh.

Golly, that's good.

We could supply
The whole world with moonshine,

And everybody would be happy.

If you really love your country,

You're gonna have to
Love moonshine.

Contact.

That's some serious heat.

As the end
Of moonshine season approaches,

Rookie shiners josh and bill

Are still desperately trying

To brew their first successful
Batch of corn whiskey.

So far,
Luck has not been on their side.

Ugh, that's disgusting!

Watch out!
Watch out, josh!

Oh, my god.
This is a major catastrophe.

But if they can right the ship

And prove
They have what it takes,

They'll join the proud few who
Can call themselves moonshiners.

We're broke as a joke.

We don't have
Any more time to waste.

I can feel her cooking.

With this rig that we got, man,

We're gonna be dealing with
Pressurized explosive gas

Around them open flames.

Bill, it don't matter now. We're
Past the point of no return.

It's "Get it done,
Or don't get it done."

If something goes wrong here,

We'll be blown sky-high.

Sounds like
A damn train, man.

"Whoo! Whoo-whoo!"

Now comes the moment of truth.

Failure means
Their season is over.

Bill, we got liquor!

Catch it.
Catch it. Catch it.

It's working.

Bill, that is so beautiful.

Bull's-eye.

She's clear as a bell.

Man!

Hot damn.

Whoo!

For as stout as it is,

That has got
Some killer taste to it.

That's gonna burn, man,
But that flavor?

Whoo! Man!

Finally!
Good liquor, man!

After two years
Of blood, sweat, and tears,

Josh and bill finally have
A brew they can be proud of.

I'll put that
Next to damn anything.

120 miles to the northeast...

Deep in
The great smoky mountains,

The warm summer nights
Will soon turn cool

And the long days will shorten,

Signaling the end
Of moonshine season.

But before that happens,

Jeff, mark, and jim tom
Have hatched a plan

To make an epic final run
Using three stills at once.

Legendary still builder jim tom

Didn't waste any time
Getting to work.

Now, with the last piece
Of the puzzle in place,

They're ready to set up
Their third and final still

Then prepare for a huge
End-of-season run.

Deputy sheriff chuck
Is hitting the ground running.

He knows
The end of moonshine season

Is just around the corner,

And if he's going to make
A big bust,

He needs to make it soon.

On a tip
From one of his many c.I.S,

He learned that moonshiners
Were brewing

And transporting shine
On a nearby mountain lake.

Chuck thought
He was nearing his target,

But then suddenly,
His investigation went cold.

Hello.
Hey. How are ya?

With time running out,

Chuck is working the case
From the inside out.

He begins his investigation
At the feed supply store,

The kind of place
Moonshiners come

To purchase large quantities of
Corn for a season's final run.

Armed with new information,
Chuck is back on the move.

A little drinking done
Last night.

Outlaw bootlegger don wood

Has been crisscrossing
The country,

Delivering shine
All along the way.

But after his last drop-off,
Don hit an unexpected problem.

It's about 10:30 at night,

And we had our first breakdown.

The part he needs is crucial.

To get it and complete his run,

He'll need to barter
His moonshine with a friend.

So he's borrowed a bike

And headed out to utah
To make an exchange.

But this is no ordinary
Moonshine run.

Don's big client has asked
For a very special delivery --

A fresh batch of shine
For his daughter's wedding

In the high mountains
Of colorado.

It's not looking good.

The part he needs is pricy

And could cost him the profit
From his bootlegging run.

And don is nowhere close
To where he needs to be.

Wink, I finally made it.

Hey, man.

I brought you a present.

Straight from the hill.

Try that, my friend.

Ahh.

What do you got here?

Oh, that's --
That's a little bit of mine.

Huh.

That's got a little hot to it.A little different.

What'd you put in there?

Just a little bit
Of tabasco

To take the little edge
Off of it.

That's good for breakfast,
Lunch, or dinner.

After a successful exchange,

Don hits the road
With the new part in hand.

Now it's a race
Against the clock.

Any more delays, and he won't
Make it to the wedding in time.

Back in kentucky,
Tim is on a hunt of his own.

There's a lost
Moonshine treasure

Worth about 60,000
Tax-free bucks

At the bottom of lake barkley.

We're looking
For a '52 chevrolet,

And the story goes it's got
200 gallons of moonshine in it.

Spencer's kind of excited
About it, I'm excited about it,

And I think
We're gonna find this thing.

I'm a little...

Getting
A little bit shaky.

...A little shaky.

We just know
There's something down there.

If there's one man
Who's gonna find it,

That man is tim.

Using high-tech sonar,

Tim and his team have zeroed in
On three potential targets.

The rough dimensions
Are about right.

So, right there's where
We need to put a diver in.

There have been eight presidents
In the white house

Since this moonshine
Went missing.

It's a hail-mary effort.

Now comes the hard part
For us, tim -- the wait.

Tim's team of rescue divers

Will descend 55 feet

Into the chilly waters
Of lake barkley.

They'll have less than a foot
Of visibility

To search
For the sunken treasure.

Well,
You got to look at it.

They got to go 50 feet down
And 50 feet back.

That's 100 feet
Right there.

And, then,
About zero visibility.

Visibility is even worse
Than expected.

The divers are struggling
To find their bearings.

If the situation
Doesn't improve,

They'll have to abort,
And tim will strike out.

Coming up...We're stuck there.

We can't do anything.
We're just waiting.

What's the good word?

Ow!

Tim has called in the cavalry

For the ultimate underwater
Moonshine mission.

A lot of hoping and wishing
Going on right now.

Yeah, a lot of wishing,
A lot of hoping.

He's searching for a '52 chevy
Filled with shine.

But the cold, dark waters

Are proving difficult
For tim and his team.

We're stuck there.
We're on top.

We can't do anything.
We're just waiting.

We're looking
At these bubbles coming up.

We just know
They're gonna come up

With a piece of this car,
Something,

Proof that we found something.

They ain't got no hubcaps,
No moonshine jugs.

I found a tree.

You found a tree.
Nothing else?

That's all we found.
And a lot of mud.

All right, so,
We'll pull the anchor back up

And go to the second spot.

All right.

I mean, it's like, "Gah!"

So we're gonna have to regroup
And move on down the river.

I'm just not gonna
Give up on it.

After their first
Successful run in two years,

Josh, bill, and cutie pie
Are riding high.

But this isn't
Only about the shine.

It's also about completing
Their mentor barney's dream

Of building
An underground still site.

We're trying
To come back down here,

Get our mold taken care of.

We started the project
With barney,

And even though
Mold kind of ran us out,

We really can't abandon it.

Nah, we owe that to him,

But we got a bunch
Of catching up to do.

We're behind schedule,
As always.

It's been one obstacle
After another.

Oh, josh!

I can't believe
I just *bleep* did that!

Got mold growing everywhere.

After discovering
Their still site

Was infested
With a toxic black mold,

Josh soaked the walls
With a noxious chemical compound

In the hopes of killing it.

Now is the moment of truth.

It don't smell as bad.

Nah. It smells better.

God dog.

We still got black mold
Growing in here.

I'm afraid
That this project is doomed.

We just got to treat it again.

That *bleep*
$36 a gallon, man.

I think we need to cut a hole
In the roof right there.

We could put a fan on there

Where it'll pull air
Through there.

The other fan on the other side
Will create a draw,

Like a chimney works.

And we'll have constant
Fresh air

Flowing through here
No matter what.

Cutting a hole in the roof,
We ain't doing nothing

But just inviting problems
To get more water in here.

If it floods out,
Then I'll deal with it.

All right.

Their first brew was a success,

But now mike and tweedy
Are running out of time.

To make the thousands of dollars
They need

For mike's brother darrin,
They're going to roll the dice

And take a huge gamble
On one massive final run.

For a run this size, mike
Decides they need more cover.

He knows of an empty barn
Near a burned-down house

That'll be a great location.

But before they can get started,

They'll need the key ingredient
For moonshine -- fresh water.

These crafty shiners
Are never without a plan.

They'll pull water from the
Plumbing of the burned house

Back to the barn
Where they'll be brewing.

There's no guarantee
This trick will work,

But they don't have a choice.

A monster still will be required
To brew that amount of shine.

Lucky for them,
They have the perfect one.

With their third still complete,

Jeff, mark, and jim tom
Head back to the woods

To prepare
For their season-ending run.

Legendary shiner jim tom
Will do the honors

And operate the third still
During the big run.

He's no stranger to these woods,
But it's been a while

Since this old-timer's
Been back at the helm,

So they want everything
To be perfect.

ow!

No turning back now.

Coming up...

Ain't nothing easy
About running liquor.

That's a *bleep* hole.

Jeff, mark, and jim tom

Have accidentally stirred up
An angry swarm of yellow jackets

While setting up
Their third still site.

Ow! Ha ha!

Nearby in north carolina...

A recent tip about someone

Buying large quantities
Of sugar and corn

Has deputy sheriff chuck
In active pursuit.

One good tip
Usually leads to another.

If the c.I.
Can provide more intel,

Chuck will be one step closer
To a big bust

Before the end
Of moonshine season.

A fresh lead on a black s.U.V.

Puts chuck closer than ever
To a source of moonshine.

Mike and tweedy are planning
A final massive run

In hope of a huge payday
Before the season ends.

Yeah.

Damn.

Looks like trouble.

Their water supply hose

Could lead the firemen
Right to their still.

I don't want to be making mash
If there's any mold, myself.

Josh and bill

Have thrown everything
But the kitchen sink

At the black mold.

I think we need to cut a hole
In the roof right there.

It'll create a draw, and
We'll have constant fresh air

Flowing through here
No matter what.

This the entrance
And the fake *bleep* over here,

And this is a trap door.

This is the trap door,
Right on the edge.

It's gonna be
A multipurpose outhouse.

It's gonna be for ventilation,

And hopefully that's gonna
Knock out all of the mold.

It's gonna be a trap door,
So if we ever have to make

A quick escape,
We got an escape route.

The plan is
To cut a hole in the metal roof

For ventilation.

Once this is complete,
They'll camouflage the vent

By building an outhouse
Around it.

The outhouse structure will
Also protect the vent from rain.

By creating air suction,

The squirrel cage fan
Will pull out all the moisture

And pull in fresh, dry air
From the stairway.

Coming along pretty good

With getting started
On the outhouse this morning,

Getting our dirt dug back.

Ain't nothing easy
About running liquor.

We're gonna be cutting through
Our waterproofing membrane

And cutting through some metal.

No turning back now.

That's a *bleep* hole.

We got
A squirrel cage fan here.

We'll see
About getting it rigged up

And get some power to it
And get a little bit more air

Moving around
In our hole down there.

Let's see what we got here.

I can feel the cool air
Blowing through.

Sweet. It's moving air.
That's a good sign.

Thank god, man.
I'm ready to get 'er done.

While brewing their massive run,

Mike and tweedy
Have found themselves cornered

By unexpected visitors.

120 miles to the southwest...

With the ventilation in place,

Josh and bill set
To constructing

Their cloaking outhouse.

Hopefully
That'll take care of our mold.

poom!

Pa-poom!

Now we're
Getting somewhere.

Cutie pie.
Chill out, honey.

What in the world?

Let daddy find it.

Coming up...That looks like tickle.

I'm owing some people
Some money.

Can you help me?

Hmm.

Now we're
Getting somewhere.

Josh and bill are in the middle

Of building a ventilation system

To finally remove
The last of the black mold.

cutie pie. Chill out.

Just as they were
Making progress,

Cutie pie went down.

Come here. Come here.

Let daddy find it.

I'm sorry.

Let daddy look.

I'm not gonna hurt you, baby.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay, baby. Hold on.
I see it. It's a thorn.

She got stung by a honey bee.

It's okay now, baby.

Come here. You feel better?

Cutie pie,
She's always there for me.

She's definitely my sidekick.

If people were more like dogs,
It'd be a better place.

Barney's connection with the
Earth was one of his mantras.

That's why he was always
About the critters.

He always had a pet
Running around.

He always had george the possum
On his shoulder

Or willard the deer
Running around.

It's about man's relationship
With nature.

You work the land,
And the land gives back to you.

It's a work relationship.

There'll never be
Another barney barnwell.

But josh is carrying on
Barney's legacy.

Cutie pie is on the mend,

And the fan is in place.

Now they'll finish
The decoy outhouse

That hides the fan and vent.

We can use that
As an escape route.

If we ever do get raided,
The last thing they're gonna do

Is expect us to come running
Out of that outhouse

And hauling tail
The other direction.

Good job, buddy.Looks good, man.

Don wood is in the middle

Of the most important run
Of his life.

He's taking shine to a wedding

High in the mountains
Of colorado

For his largest and most
Important client's daughter,

And he's running late.

I've never done a wedding.
I don't do weddings.

But this was a unique situation,
Extremely wealthy people.

Don only has an hour
To get to the wedding.

In an effort
To make up for lost time,

He's ditched his trailer

And is holding
The remaining shine

On the back of his bike.

It was 1,450 miles to get here.

That trailer affects
My fuel economy, my speed.

I would have hated to come up
This road pulling that trailer.

Over in western kentucky,

Time is running out
On tim's mission

To find a moonshine treasure
At the bottom of lake barkley.

His team of divers
Has been scouring the lake

In search of the lost treasure.

What's the good word?

But so far,
After two dives,

They've come up with nothing
But a big fat goose egg.

Just dirt and trees.

But he's come up
With a new strategy.

We got to think about,
What was in 1959?

This was a river in 1959.
It wasn't a lake.

All the way down here

Is probably
Where we need to be looking,

All the way down where
This thing's gonna turn.

You think
You can get us there?

Tim directs the team
Further down the lake,

Away from the bridge.

We got to concentrate
In this turn right here

Where this bend's at.

Let's go get them divers
To look at that.

This is the third
And final dive.

If they come up empty-handed,
The mission is a total bust.

I hope this is it.

Oh, me, too.

I believe
They're coming up, tim.

There's something down there.
It's a car.

Back in north carolina,

Moonshine macgyvers
Mike and tweedy

Are smack dab in the middle

Of their biggest run
Of the season.

As tweedy cranks out
Gallon after gallon of shine,

Mike makes his way to the site

With their latest
Transport vehicle.

To blend in
During horse-bearing season,

Mike and tweedy
Have decided to move their shine

In a two-stall horse trailer.

They'd better hurry.

They promised to meet
Their buyer before sundown.

Don wood is on the final leg

Of his marathon bootlegging
Journey.

He lost precious time

After a breakdown forced him
To change his route.

At last, he's nearing
His final destination,

But time is not on his side.

Guests have arrived,

And the wedding ceremony
Has already started.

All of your true and
Loyal friends are here today.

If he doesn't arrive
Before the end of the ceremony,

He can kiss his largest client
Goodbye.

I pronounce you
Husband and wife.

You may now kiss
Your beautiful bride.

Don delivered the moonshine
By the skin of his teeth.

Cheers, everyone.
Cheers.

The wedding was a success.

Now don wood rides again.

Tim and his divers may have
Just struck moonshine gold.

There's something down there.
It's a car.

If these guys can find
Something to bring back,

We got to have proof
We found the car.

I hate to give up.

I hate to say we came,
We looked,

We didn't see anything,
And we went home.

They can only sit and wait.

I saw a glove come up.

He's got a bottle!
Look. Right back here.

He's got a bottle.

It's moonshine!
You can smell it!

Can smell that corn.

You taste it.

I'll tell you what, tim.

That's the best or worst whiskey
I ever tasted.

After all these years,
The shine is spoiled.

I don't know if I want
To drink that or not.

It may not be
A financial windfall,

But tim has solved
A 53-year-old mystery

And now has a powerful ally
In his quest to go legal.

It took a little hard work.

I'm just glad I could help him
Out and build a friendship.

And I think
It'll go a long ways.

I did what I said I was
Gonna do. That's my pay.

Yeah, well,
I thank you for that.

If you ever need anything,
You know where I'll be --

Across that river
Making moonshine.

Mike and tweedy
Have almost 200 gallons of shine

Loaded in the back
Of their horse trailer.

It's a risk that few take.

If done correctly,

The entire operation
Will go completely unnoticed.

Tension runs high.

If you're caught
With this much shine,

You can count on prison time.

Deputy sheriff chuck's c.I.
Has tipped him off

To a black s.U.V.
Running shine by the lake.

You know what I think
You need to keep you young?

What? A good woman?

A good woman
With purty feet.

Hey, a woman's got to have good
Feet. Quit making fun of me.

If a woman's
Got good, purty feet

And they're all
Perfectly manicured,

You know she's taking care
Of the rest of her body.

Not the bilbo baggins feet
With the hairy toes?

If they look like they come off
A werewolf or something,

That ain't happening.

'cause me, personally,
I don't have a foot fetish.

I don't have
A foot fetish.

Oh, I'm hearing you rant
And rave about the feet,

And you're gonna tell me
You don't have a foot fetish?

The foot's an ugly
Son of a bitch to begin with.

You don't take care of that
Ugly-ass foot, krrk, you're out.

What if she's got
Beautiful feet

But she's got a big ol'
Damn snaggletooth?

oh, man.
That's some funny *bleep*

You really think
I have a foot fetish?

Old tickle
Has hit an all-time low.

After trying to go solo

And prove himself
A moonshine kingpin,

Everything has gone wrong.

What the hell is this?

Oh *bleep* that ain't good.

If that isn't enough,

He owes money
To the wrong people.

I know you're
Wanting $500 for this thing.

I had to come see tim today

Because, basically,
I'm down on my luck.

That looks like tickle.

What's up, tim?

How you been, man?What's going on now?

Man, I've been
All over the place.

Oh, yeah?

You been
Filling up them jugs

And making moonshine
And all that?

Well...

I tried to.

Built a really
Beautiful pot.

I think you would have
Been proud of it.

Yeah.

Somebody winded up putting
A hole in my pot.

Oh, that's crazy.

You didn't make moonshine?No.

Hmm.

So, that kind of done me in
Right there,

'cause I didn't have the money
To build another one.

And I'm owing some people
Some money.

Can you help me?

Mike and tweedy's
Huge run paid off big-time,

But it was never about them
From the start.

The money was always
For mike's sick brother, darrin.

A short but lucrative season
Yielded almost all the money

Mike's brother needs
For medical treatments.

Now that mike was able
To help his brother,

It signals the end
To his season.

But once a moonshiner,
Always a moonshiner.

I'm owing some people
Some money.

Can you help me out?

Tickle is in way too deep
And now needs tim's help.

I'm coming to you
Because you're my partner.

This is what we do.
Who else am I coming to?

Well, I got a --
I got a backup plan.

I hate to say it,
But I got some moonshine.

What do you mean
You got moonshine?

Uh, I got a whole lot
Of moonshine

And I can't get rid
Of it.

I got it in the hay bales
Right on the side of the road.

That's where
The moonshine's at.

If you got moonshine,
You got gold,

Because I got more people
Than I know what to do
With that wants some.

Well, you let me know
Where it's at,

And I'll figure out a way
To move it.

And I don't have
Nothing to do with it?

No.

Me and tickle
Have been friends a long time,

And I got to help him.

But in turn,
He's gonna help me out.

Next time I see you,
Come back with some money.

Tim's been doing his
Own kind of thing, going legal,

And I've been doing my own
Kind of thing, being illegal.

Be good. Be careful.

I'm gonna do that.

He's got some moonshine
That he needs run,

And I'm gonna run it for him.

The old partners
Are back together again,

But it won't come without
Great risk for tickle.

Jeff, mark, and jim tom
Are heading back to the woods

To kill off the yellow jackets

And make final preparations
For their end-of-season run.

But deputy sheriff chuck
Has other plans.

Deputy sheriff chuck
Is closing in,

But unaware, jeff, mark,
And jim tom press on.

On the season finale
Of "Moonshiners"...

Dude! Dude! Dude!The gas! It might blow!

We just blew
The *bleep* seal.

Let's get this done.

I got enough liquor
In the truck already

To send me to jail
In a federal penitentiary.

We're gonna take
A little bigger risk today.

I'm sick, tired, and I am broke.

We have been worked
To *bleep* death.

I've got a vehicle description,
Kind of what I'm looking for.

Step out of the vehicle.
Put the camera down.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.