Moonshine (2021–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - You Try Reinventing Your Life In Your Forties Fuckers - full transcript

Lidia : Previously
on moonshine...

Ryan: I will find
your bio mom for you.

I'm having twins!

Crystal clean means more
to me than anything!

I need to go to la on my own.

Ryan: Aunie is your bio mom.

Lidia: We need to work.

The feds are building a
case against the marauders.

Bea: The moonshine could
be a historical site?

It could be.

- Protected land?
- Yeah.



Lidia: They're
building a resort?

Not a chance in hell.

♪ Mommy, daddy, look at me

♪ I went to school
and I got a degree ♪

♪ all my friends
call it the big d ♪

♪ I went to school
and I got the big d ♪

♪ I got the big d

♪ I got the big d...

♪ I got the big d

♪ I went to school
and I got the big d ♪

Terry: I missed you so much!

♪ Excuse me (what?)

♪ what are you doing
sitting down? ♪

♪ You should be
horizontal now ♪



Still got it.

♪ On the chaise longue,
on the chaise longue ♪

♪ on the chaise longue, all
day long on the chaise longue ♪

♪ on the chaise longue,
all day long... ♪

♪ this is my life,
this is my life ♪

♪ this is my life, my life

Eleanor: hey, mom.

Hey, honey! I miss you.

Not you, daniel.

Daniel: ha-ha,
love you too, lids!

Lidia: What's going on?

-Okay, well, you know
how you always freak out

When I tell you things,
even though you're always

Encouraging me to
tell you things?

Bit of an exaggeration.

I don't want to go to college!

I want to explore my music.

I think that's a fabulous idea.

Who thinks that's
a fabulous idea?

Sometimes the best
education is no education.

A formal one, anyway.
Ambition is overrated.

And the system? Ha!

The system needs
to chill the f out.

The system you prepped me to
dominate since I was in utero?

-Trust me, in 30 years, no
one will care what you did,

Or thought, not even yourself.

- Is this a menopause thing?
- No!

I had time to process over
the winter and I realized

That some things just
aren't all that important.

A shower that works, important.

A minor in renaissance plumbing?

Is that grandpa's bathrobe?

Ah!

Beer for breakfast?!

It's queen victoria's birthday.

May 24th.

Hence...

My 2-4!

May she ever reign!

Mom! Ugh!

I've never gone this long
without sex with another person.

Oh...

Ugh, it's my boss.

Seriously? While
I'm inside you?

He loved my podcast. He
wants another smalltown epic.

Do you mind if I, um...?

That's a no, right?

Oh, come on, terr!
Now, don't be mad.

Blowjob?

Not with your
phone in your hand.

What am I, an amateur?
I don't need hands.

Oh...

Ken: "old-school postcard
from your old-school wife.

"love to the kids. Bea."

Ken: Love to the
kids... Alright.

Is that from mom?

Another month of shows.

Who knew the seniors' version
of rent would be such a smash?

Boca.

Guess I wasn't the only one
that needed some time away.

Yeah, well, your
mom will be back.

She just needs some time
to spread her wings.

Maybe I should do that.

Hitch a ride to England
with you in the fall?

Yeah.

I think you'd actually
really love it.

I got hooked on
this reality show

About these, like, super-hot,
party hound aristocrats.

Very cute accent.

You spent a semester in
oxford watching television!

I half expected you to
come home with an accent

And some of that blotter acid
with the queen's face on it.

My 70-year-old dad knows more
about street drugs than I do.

Do me a favour.

Have some fun this summer.

It's time, son.

Make us ashamed.

oscar: Nice!

You beat your last
time by two seconds!

You're on fire, rhi!

I don't know what
the big fuss is.

Parenting, having it
all? Pssh, eat me!

I'm crushing this!

-There is nothing you can't do.

-No, there isn't.

-So, how did it go at the, uh...

Obgyn?

Good, I guess.

I mean, now that the
twins are three months,

She's given us the
finger of approval.

Yes! Yes!

The gates to humpville
are officially open!

Oh, it's like there's
a choir of angels...

In my pants.

1,400 hours.

The twins' nap time.

Anywhere from 6 to
23 glorious minutes.

You... Me...

Finger...

Oh my god...

hey, kids!

What's up, man?

you're back?

Yes! Ha-ha, hi!

Terry refused a
blowjob. From me!

My god-given gift.

-Oh my god, I
missed you so much.

And not just 'cause I smoked
all your weed and need more.

-This, this...? This is...

-Oh, yeah. It's my new thing.

Pretty sure it's an old thing.

Rhian: Listen up, bitches!

Welcome back.

Ken: What's up?

I just secured a
last-minute booking

For the shore club,
baby! May 2-4 party!

- Woo!
- For who?

Oh, some rich shmuck

Who agreed to pay triple
what we normally charge.

Open bar, all-you-can-eat,

Which we'll shut down before
anyone can get seconds...

And the best part is,

Everyone's invited for karaoke

So the whole town can see
me crush "rebel yell."

Yeah! billy idol?

Oscar: Oi!

Crystal: Oh, I love karaoke!

Even like classic rock
songs, except for the ones

Written by, like, creepy
old white dudes who, like,

Hate women and have crazy
addiction problems, which...

Which I guess is a
lot of classic rock.

Ken: Finley-cullens
don't do karaoke.

No, we do not.

- Bad juju.
- Uh... Why?

Any time a finley-cullen
picks up a mic... Disaster.

Any time this family does
anything it's a disaster!

No, rhian.

But the client has requested it!

We're in the service industry.
Don't you aim to serve?

Fine, we don't have a
karaoke machine, anyway.

Little miss la can dj, and
you better not shit the bed.

Missed you, sis.

Dad, can you handle the food?

Sammy's on bar.
Crystal can clean.

Oh, um, sorry, you
will have to contact

My corporate liaison to
see if I'm available.

Way to boss up, babe!

-As for pr, décor, and
fancy-ass cocktails...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Can
I stop you right there?

I'm not helping.

I've decided to follow the
path of least resistance.

No more helping.
No more big ideas.

No more lidia-ing.

From now on, I am trading
the a-type for some z-type.

Z-type? She did
this once before.

It lasted a week.

Rhian: Can't you wait
until after the party?

There is a massive resort
being built next door.

We have to cash in
while we still can!

Well, you're gonna have
to do it without me.

It's for the good
of the moonshine

That I take a step back.

Way back to my hammock,

Where I'll be chillin' chilly
chill, smokin' a fatty.

Shit!

Lidia?

Are you trying to avoid me?

No. Why would you think that?

Because you texted nora saying

That you were
trying to avoid me.

Listen, terr...

You seem tense; I
think we both know why.

-You're on house arrest,

Which means that
you need to check in

With your case worker
on a regular basis.

Don't you open mail?

I can't take the stress.

You got off easy because
you agreed to share

What you knew about
the marauders.

- I'm aware.
- Okay, well, then you're aware

That you need to
follow the rules.

No leaving the province,
gainful employment,

And zero contact with
one gale favreau.

Do sex dreams count?

Asking for a friend.

And the employment?

Well, here I am
at the moonshine,

The place... I employ!

No, you're a part-owner.
It doesn't count.

-Yeah, but I didn't
want to be part-owner.

-I don't make the law.

Now, hq is breathing
down my neck,

So you need to submit a pay
stub within the next 48 hours.

-Come on! Terr...

You're not actually expecting
me to get a summer job, are you?

What am I, 15?

Two days.

Or I'm bringing you in.

Lidia: This one goes out to all
the other brave women out there

Who made the choice
to downshift.

Cast off your dreams, hopes,
and ambitions, and just...

- Be.
- God...

I'm a natural.

You have the musical
taste of a 70-year-old.

I am not hiring you.

How about a talk show?
A little segment about

Simplifying your life,
like marie kondo?

-Mm-hm, with a rap
sheet and unwashed hair.

-Ugh, can't you tell
terry to ease up?

I mean, how the hell am
I supposed to get a job

In a town where everyone
thinks I'm a felon?

Lidia, this whole z-type
shtick, are you depressed?

Are those depression roots?

No, I'm great!

I'm unemployed, but great.

-Mm-hm. Barely
return my calls.

What really happened
last winter?

Nothing.

-Well, the ankle
monitor begs to differ!

-Oh, it wouldn't be so bad
if it came in rose gold.

Nora: Lids?

- Lids?!
- Ah! Huh?

Lidia: Ugh!

Okay, fine.

I did something stupid.

More stupid than hijacking
an 18-wheeler of snow crab?

-There was a sale
on egyptian cotton.

You know, bedding.

Bedding?

Yeah. The, uh,
outlet mall in maine.

I crossed the border even
though I wasn't supposed to.

Terry got a tip, picked
me up, and...

Oh, good, now you're
feeling sorry for me.

Job? Please?

Yeah, no one listens to
the radio anymore, okay?

The only reason I am back here
is because this is the only job

That lets me
anxiety-smoke inside.

- And terry, ugh...
- I don't get it.

He was so pumped
about his trip to la.

He asked me to help him find an
outfit for that desert party.

White linen?

All me! Old me.

It wasn't a party, it was
a sound bath in joshua tree

With my boss.

Ultra-chill. New me approves!

Yeah, until a shaman showed up.

We all did ayahuasca
and terry shit himself.

oh! Ooh...

Oh yeah, big dump.

- White linen...
- Yeah.

Thanks for that.

See? Everything I touch.

Woman: very
exciting, this is freddie.

Sammy: hello...

My name is oliver.

Penniless but posh.

that's terrible.

hello,
my name is oliver.

Penniless but posh.

Love the accent, oliver.

London?

uh, no.

Oxford.

Well, oxford, could
you spare a hand?

I can't reach my back.

does
that line ever work?

You tell me.

Love what you've done
with the place...

Come on, let's go get some air.

I can't be seen playing
cards with the enemy.

Come on, how much did those
sneaky resort-builders

Give you for that
strip of swamp?

-Yeah, well, turns
out jail was...

Good for meeting rich people!

My cellmate was the
developer's accountant.

They came to see me behind bars.

Which is more than I
can say for you and bea.

We were in boca,

And that land isn't
even yours to sell.

Technically, it's
moonshine territory.

You got a deed?

You know we don't!

Your criminal family traded
that land for a moroccan rug

Full of hash.

You make it sound so tawdry.

Hey, I'm not the
one with the record.

No, your daughter is.

You leave liddy out of this.

She's suffered enough.

You're a low-rent
campground catering

To party hounds and
mullet-heads named oink.

Bougie hipsters wanting
a weekend at the spa

Are not gonna take business
away from the moonshine.

-Maybe not, but a summer
of noise, construction,

Trucks running back and forth?

People come to the
moonshine for r&r.

We'll be dead by July.

-If you were smart,

You'd sell it to the developers
and cash out like I did.

I know you get tired of
wallowing in two-star misery,

Broken this and flooded that.

Or is hip-deep in shit kind of
the finley-cullen happy place?

Why do you think your wife
got the hell out of dodge?

Huh.

Teenager: And what makes you
think that you're qualified

To pursue a career
as a dishwasher?

Lidia: I often feel I was a
greyhound in another life.

okay, okay, alright!

Hold on! Aah!

Oh...

Augh!

Lidia: Well, I realize
the pay is less

And the jobs are smaller
at foxton design,

But I am up for new challenges.

Unpaid internship?

Bite me.

Ugh.

I saw your ad and I was like,

"wowza, elder care? My jam!"

So much wisdom to gain.

I was a great comfort
to my own father-in-law

When he was palliative.

No boundaries.
That's nice to hear.

Uh, you good with your hands?

Oh, I am...

Was... an architect,
so I'm very creative!

that's me.

Creative lidia.

Well, creativity doesn't
really matter much here.

Uh, given the age of our johns.

Johns?

Everyone gets a happy ending;
"happy endings elder care."

So, this a holiday?

uh...

A working holiday.

- Ah.
- you?

Same.

bit of, uh, slumming

Till my father beckons
me back to the old pile.

Ooh, fancy!

are you...
Staying at the moonshine?

Uh, no. I'm
crashing in my van.

It's close by.

You want a tour?

I
have to be at work now.

It's nice meeting you.

You sure you don't
want that tour?

Oh!

Shh!

Twins are asleep.

We have an hour before we
have to be at the club.

Is it that time already?

You like my outfit?
Comes in red too.

We are going to hump-de-dump
till you get rug burns, baby.

Oh, honey buns, I'm not
sure that, uh, rug burns

Are what I need right now.

Well, what do you need?

Uh, just maybe, like, hold me?

Hold you? Where?

Oh... I know.

No, like, like... Nuzzle me.

Nuzzle you? I can
do that, no problem.

- Oh, stop, stop, stop!
- Stop what?

- This.
- What?

- This, this!
- This what, this what?

I... I can't.

I have things to do.

I've got, like, a
business to save,

Human beings to nurture.

Like, what about being
me do you not understand?

Rhi...

Rhi, don't, don't...!

Augh!

Crystal: It is so weird,
in the best possible,

Correct spelling of
the word "weird,"

That you needed a summer
job at the exact same time

Crystal clean was hiring! Ha!

What are the odds that
I'm virtually unemployable

And a master's degree
would be meaningless?

Up, up, and away!
Am I right?

-I'm really proud of you.

Starting your own business,
paying off that van.

You've come a long way.

-Well, technically, I'm
right back where I started,

Cleaning at the moonshine,

But it does feel pretty
good to be my own boss

And ready to take crystal
clean to the next level!

Cabin 6?

No! A whole second employee!

Especially someone
as awesome as you.

I mean, having a real
boss babe on staff?

That is, like,
instant credibility

For crystal clean's 1,000
and growing tiktok followers.

Former boss babe.

All I'm aiming for now
is simplicity, you know?

Time and space to figure
out... Well, maybe nothing.

Just living life
like a regular jane.

Okay, but there is
nothing regular about you.

You are the most determined
and colour-coordinated person

That I know!

Well, what did all
that add up to?

Did you know, when I
was running the firm,

Three quarters of the jobs
I bid on were won by men

I wouldn't hire to
design my screen-saver.

That is criminal!

And I would know!

-So I overcompensated.

I tried too hard,
promised too much.

God...

All those dreams I had
of architectural digest

Featuring my redux
of a pre-war classic

With potential for
a fourth bedroom

And private rooftop garden...

What was it all for?

Nude sunbathing?

It was selfish.

My ambition hurt
self, kids, family.

And now...?

I'm gonna hurt that toilet.

Babe?

I am really worried about lidia,

And it is not just because
she is changing her name

To jane regular.

Another hot biker?

I wish I could get
behind that, but no!

She's giving up on her
dreams because she feels like

She worked too hard and
she screwed everything up,

And she never got to
bathe nude in the sun!

She never got a chance to shine!

Well, now she can shine
things for crystal clean!

No!

Ry, if lidia is gonna get
back to being the mentor

I need her to be,

She shouldn't be spending
her time scrubbing toilets.

You need lidia in the same way

That I need to
obliterate aliens...

Not just for my survival,

But for the survival
of my planet!

Yes, and while there
is a definite art

- To toilet sanitization...
- Absolutely.

Letting lidia go is
the least I can do

To help her get her mojo back!

She's not the firefly,
ry! She is the fire!

I'm picking up what
you're laying down, babe!

-Yeah!

So, as my corporate liaison

And head of hr,

You will talk to her?

You can count on me, babe.

yeah!

That's my sexy head of hr!

Whoa, oh my god,
they're so hard!

Uh, in the spirit of healthy
partner communication, I...

Only communicado
mama needs right now

Has to do with
the may 2-4 party.

I'm trying to find that
idiot's contact number

And I can't find
the booking sheet!

I want to talk
about what happened.

What didn't happen.

Are you okay? Are we okay?

Oh my god, was it
the leopard print?

I knew I should have gone
with the zebra stripes!

I don't have time
for this right now.

Look, I know it's a lot.

The twins, this place...

Bathrobe lidia.

Your mom gone. But...

I'm here...

For you.

I can take on more.
I can do more.

You want to do more?

Find the contract, okay?

It's in your hand.

Rhian: "wesworld."

What kind of a name
is that, dutch?

it does
look familiar.

Who made this booking?

I-I think it was you.
This is your handwriting.

No, it's yours.

The "w" just got peed on.

Oh my god, oscar.

What have you done?

You agreed to host a
party for the enemy.

Oscar: Oops.

Rhian: Our mortal enemy

Is trying to butter
up the community.

Do you know why?

Because the new resort
is breaking ground

Sooner than we thought.
Do you know why?

Because someone hasn't done
anything to stop it yet.

-If we can prove this
is a historical site...

-I call aunie every hour
on the quarter-hour.

"authenticating a viking
dagger is time-consuming!"

Slackers, all of you.

-You're right, my love.
You're totally right.

I don't speak rhian.
I barely speak oscar.

Oh my god, it's
been five minutes

Since we paid off our tax debt.

It's like we're living
in a dumpster fire,

Only with a revolving door.

You try to escape, but
you just get spun back

Into the burning hot garbage.

Roasting, basting,
crackling, reducing,

Until you can't tell yourself
apart from the trash flames!

It's all my fault.

All me. I-I...

We need to burn the human
flesh of our enemy, and fast.

-Make the developers
regret the day

They ever sunk a
penny into that land.

Oh, yeah.

How are we gonna do that?

Rhian: Lidia.

Ooh, on-brand tequila!

That's a first...
And a second, please!

Have you seen lidia?

No, but I hope she shows up soon
to see your lives get ruined.

And you have vomit
on your shirt.

Aww.

Alright, narrowed it down.

The developer's either
buddy with the murse,

Or the lady with the quite
possibly real alligator sandals.

-They both look
like asshats to me.

-Yes, but which one is
big city developer asshat?

-You're the cop.

-Eh, county cop.

Have you seen lidia?

No?

Ryan: Lids, what you're
doing isn't working.

You gotta hold orange
at a 45-degree angle

- To build up the pressure.
- Ah.

Then rip out the bowl.

And that's how
you do cali sober!

-Why'd you want to talk to me?

Reasons.

Really good ones.

Ry...

I know everyone's
skeptical, but...

This lifestyle is not
a cry for help, okay?

It's a choice.

This bathrobe? A choice.

These mismatched
socks, a choice.

This unwashed hair, well...

Actually that wasn't a choice.

I ran out of my
bond-strengthening shampoo.

My decision to not pay
duty to have it shipped

Across the border,
that was...

Oh my god! I'm really high.

Lids, I respect your choices.

I'm mr. Choices.

But I'm also an expert
on the z lifestyle.

Sure, there are
short-term gains,

But it leads nowhere.

You're gonna wake up at 40
with nothing to your name

But a worn-out pair of jorts,

A grown son you thought
was your brother,

And a bedazzled tank
top which you still

Technically owe
$24.99 for, lids.

Hmm.

Ryan: Someone looks relaxed!

Sammy: Mm-hm.

Are you coming from
somewhere relaxing?

-Actually, yeah.

Although I did let him believe
I was a low-level aristocrat

From oxford named oliver.

Lidia: See? All
just some postures.

Ryan: I'll let it slide
this one time, son.

Don't call me "son."

Oh!

- Sammy:
- ryan:

Have you seen lidia?

-Oh, geez, can everyone
just let her be?

She's living her worst
life. Get over it.

And lay off the serpico
shit, terr, okay?

You're not gonna arrest
your sister-in-law

On a Saturday night.

Okay, I'm just
trying to do my job.

Nora: Shit.

Even sammy got
stoned without me?

Ugh... Aww, I wanna have fun!

Well, I'm sorry I'm so boring.

It's no fun corrupting
the already corrupted.

- That's why I like boring.
- No, you don't.

You wish I was different,
maybe more like your boss.

Andreas?

I wouldn't bang that guy
with someone else's vag!

Although I might have to,

If I don't come up with
a new podcast idea soon.

I just feel that you went away

And you had all these amazing
experiences without me,

And now that you're back

You're wondering if our
life together is enough.

Is that what's
going on with you?

You're intimidated by my career?

no, no.

-That is some serious
man-baby shit.

Not tonight, terr, okay?

Hey!

Good?

Yeah?

Sammy: Shit!

Be right back.

You got irish whiskey?

'ello, mate!

Hi.

this where you work?

guilty as charged.

I haven't stopped
thinking about you.

Oh, okay, wait... uh, um...

Don't freak out.

Are you doing me?

It's pretty good.

Uh, no, actually,
I'm... I'm doing me.

Me who?

Me who doesn't have a
real english accent...?

Um, I'm not from oxford,

And I-I don't own an ancestral
pile on the isle of man,

And my name isn't
oliver, it's... Sammy.

Penniless but not posh.

My dad said I was boring and
so I pretended not to be,

And now I'm... Oh my
god, I feel so stupid.

And I totally understand if
you never want to see me again.

Also, I'm really, really high.

Look, I haven't been entirely
honest with you, either.

You don't live in a van?

This is actually my party.

I'm weston lonergan.

Of wesworld.

The developer?

That's... You?

Guilty as charged.

Katie: Props on the evening
wear tube top, nora!

So tubey!

But with lift.

You brokered a land deal
that will ruin my family.

No, I brokered a deal that
will put foxton on the map.

Come on, does anything around
here ever really change?

You did.

Anywho, ain't no
stopping us now.

We're on the move.

We've got the move!

My karaoke song.

Oh, sorry, thirsty,
but the shore club

Is a karaoke-free zone
thanks to a mandated

Lack of machinery and several
decades of my mother singing.

So...

My client brought
his own machine!

Did you know that I
am a true soprano?

Like katy perry.

whoop!

Rhian: Oh my god,
thank god you're here!

I'm not here, I
just have to pee.

Okay, this may come as a shock,

But solo-managing the
business, the babies,

And tending to the insatiable
sexual needs of my husband

Is a lot.

Rhian, no. I'm not
getting involved.

Lidia, please.

Dad is a mess. Mom bailed.

Oscar has no idea of the
psychological or physical toll

It takes to grow and
squeeze two identical humans

Out of a hole the
size of a kumquat.

Oh, I know it's a lot, hun,

But you will get through these
first few years of parenting.

I've been there.

I was so tired I don't
remember being there,

But I was; I've seen
the family photos.

What's that?

Blueprints for
the stupid resort.

What?!

Rhian: Do you sense a
flaw in the battle plan?

No.

- Something to save us?
- No.

Ryan: She always does
that squinty-eye thing

When she's lying.

Especially when
she's really high.

I know that under
that filthy robe

Is a repressed a-type.
I can't do this alone.

I can't even pee in a
straight line anymore.

There's room in
the trench, sister!

Let's fight this war together!

Respect the landscape.

- Rhian: Yes!
- Ryan: A-ha-ha!

Natural curve of the bedrock...

-Graffiti! Make 'em afraid!

Lidia: The putting course
alone will knock out

A dozen acres of
old-growth pine!

-Hold on... Those
aren't dicks!

-No, she's fixing it.

-Are you insane?
Don't help him!

Oh my god, gimme back my marker.

Nora: Hey, hi. Uh,
not to be alarmist,

- But we need to leave.
- Rhian: What, why?

We have the enemy
in our crosshairs.

Yeah, and he has us in his.

Lidia: Oh, shit...

Karaoke.

What's your poison, kid?

I don't know.

I don't know anything
anymore. Who am I?

What does it all mean?
Am I even a man anymore?

I want to be there for rhian

But we're not speaking
the same language.

I want to hear her, I
want her to hear me,

But I don't know how.

Don't look at me, kid.

My wife's on stage
in tallahassee

Playing a geriatric,
hiv-positive erotic dancer.

Hi!

So, did you talk to lidia?

Yeah, she was super chill!

Oh, so did you explain to her
my firefly versus fire theory?

I may have forgotten
about that part.

- Oh.
- And the other parts.

But I'm recommitting myself to
being on it, starting... Now!

So, basically, you
did not talk to lidia?

-Talk to me about what?

Oh, hi!

You are fired.

And also, you're welcome!

Now go and spread your wings
and fly, little firefly!

Fly!

Argh!

Crowd: Sing! Sing!

Sing! Sing!

Oscar:
this one goes out to, uh...

Crowd: Sing, sing, sing, sing!

Lidia: Oh, you
wanna hear a song?

Woman: Yeah-ah!

- A song about a total hack?
- Man: Whoa!

That's right, mr. Wesworld.

It's about as original
as his stupid resort.

Where are you?

Raise your hand.

Aww, what are you, like 12?

That's who I'm up
against in this life?

That's the guy...

That gets all the
magazine covers,

All the jobs, all the glory!

An entitled brat with the
design aesthetic of a microwave.

-Oh, god.

-Not that I give a shit,
but your, uh, "design"?

A soulless, west coast
facade in nova scotia?

Wah, just threw up
in my mouth a little!

I have two words for you:

Biophilic architecture.

No clue what that means?

Neither does your
basic bitch architect.

Oh, and free tip, jackass?

You can't build a spa like that
on swamp land as you have it.

The structure will collapse!

Your guests will be
getting mud treatments,

But not in a good way.

And if you think my
family is gonna stand back

And let this happen...

You think I will stand
back and let this happen?

Not tonight, satan!

Rhian: Oh, shit!

Lidia : It's
times like these,

Times when a woman's
risked it all,

That she realizes
even at rock bottom,

There's so much more to lose...

Her mind.

She also realizes she
should have worn a bra.

Ow...

♪ Turn me loose...

♪ turn me loose!

♪ I gotta do it my way...

♪ or no way at all!

You must be so proud.

It's not her, it's the
god-damned karaoke.

We're doomed.

The whole family is doomed.

Offer's on the table, ken.

Are you propositioning me?

Just sell this shithole
already, and cash in.

Come on, the moonshine's over.

It's time.

Who knows...

Maybe I am.

♪ Turn me loose!

♪ Turn me loose,
turn me loose! ♪

♪ I gotta do it my way...

♪ or no way at all!

Nora: I cannot
wait to tell her...

Rhian: Do we need to lock
this from the outside?

Nora: No!

Lidia: Stay. Stay with me!

- Come, come...
- Rhian: Oh god, alright.

Ugh.

Nora: Karaoke...

Mom ruined it every time.

She never told me
everything would be so...

All of it, so effing hard.

Yes, she did.

Every damn day.

Look at our life.

Us, dad, the moonshine,

Campers' complaints,

Putting up with all that
bullshit for all those years.

It's a miracle she lasted
as long as she did.

No wonder I have no
husband and kids.

I'd be dead because I
would have killed myself.

-We're dead if that
resort build goes forward.

What's gonna become of us?

oh.

Ugh!

My boss, andreas.

Cutting edge eyewear
asstard with time zones.

Okay.

Sorry. Uh, crazy day.

Personal issues.

Andreas: Ooh, juicy. Do tell.

-Uh, well, my sister
lidia is in meltdown mode,

Which is ironic since she's
the normal one in the family...

Well, she used to
be the normal one.

It's a long story.
But she, uh...

She moved back from the big city

And shit-canned her
life last summer.

She met this killer biker,
and then she hijacked a truck,

She got arrested, and she's been
in a death spiral ever since,

Yadda yadda yadda, so...

Andreas: I love it.

Love what?

Andreas: Your new podcast idea!

Can you have the pilot outline
ready for me, say, next week?

Oscar: ♪ when I was young...

Sammy: So... What do you think?

Wes: I think that
blonde chick was right.

My design does suck
and it can't...

I can't suck.

I actually meant this place.

Does a night at the shore
club beat an ancestral pile

On the isle of man?

Do you forgive me?

Can you say that
again with the accent?

Oscar: ♪ all by myself

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ all by myself

♪ anymore

♪ all by myself

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ all by myself

♪ anymore...