Moonlight (2007–2008): Season 1, Episode 5 - Arrested Development - full transcript

Previously on Moonlight:

I wanna help people.
That's why I became a PI.

- I heard what you said.
- That I'm a vampire.

After last time, what
with the incinerator...

I wasn't sure if I was
gonna see you again.

It was a lot to process.

Some people just aren't
meant to be together.

Beth has a very
real boyfriend...

and after my ex-wife, Coraline, it's
hard for me to trust someone again.

I know we didn't exactly
get off on the right foot...

- but I've heard good things from Beth.
- I'm glad the buzz is good.



She also said it's
never boring around you.

Vampires can be in the daylight,
but too much direct sunlight will kill us.

And our survival instincts are
simple: if you're dying, you need blood.

No, not yours. Not like this.

At some point, you're
gonna have to stop me.

There. Dr. Rosin
says it's okay, it's okay.

- Feel better now?
- I felt fine before.

Well, I feel better.

That is one weird
cut. I mean, two.

It was pretty crazy out
there in the desert, wasn't it?

Yeah. A little.

It's strange that Mick
hasn't even stopped by since.

At least to see how you are.

I'm fine.



It's just, for a while, it
was like he was there...

every time we opened the door,
and now he's sort of disappeared.

Wasn't something I said, was it?

Sorry, what?

If I've learned anything in 85
years, it's that what you want...

Watch it.

Doesn't always matter.

I'm sorry.

You can wanna get from here to
there. You can want to be on time.

You can want to avoid someone
for their own good because...

say, you drank their
blood out in the desert.

Watch it.

But if the universe wants
something different...

well, you can run,
but you can't hide.

Mick.

Hi.

- We were just talking about you.
- Yeah, we were.

- What are you doing here?
- So, what are you doing...? Uh...

We're here for a blood test.

A blood test?

- Are you two...?
- Getting married? No, no.

Uh... For this. Josh thought I
might have tetanus, you know...

from the chainlink fence.

Ah.

- So, what are you doing here?
- Same. Blood. Work.

I... I... I have to get
some blood work done.

You know, I left you a message.

Actually, she left four.

- I must've missed that somehow.
- Well, you know now...

- so call when you get a chance.
- Yeah.

Or better yet, come
by tomorrow night.

We're having friends over to
celebrate one year together.

- Mick doesn't wanna...
- No, I would want to. Uh...

But I can't.

I'm sorry. But congratulations.
That's... You know, one year.

That's, uh, really something.

Thanks.

See you.

There's what we want...

then there are the million
coincidences we have no control over.

The events that put us in a
certain place at a certain time...

and change our lives forever.

Who controls these coincidences?

All I know, it's not us.

Oh, no, honey. I just can't.

Not with you.

So run along and
we'll call it even.

You know, your
picture was a lot prettier.

Hey. Wake up, girl.
We got a live one.

Recipes?

Oh, Josh and I are having
some friends over tonight.

- "Coq in a reduction sauce"?
- It's French for "chicken."

Still...

- You said you had a live one?
- Ooh.

Dead, actually.
You're gonna like this.

- An escort?
- Mm-hm. Juicy stuff too.

My source said, quote,
"A very distinctive m.o."

- You think this is...?
- Like the San Francisco guy.

The way this has been in the
news, it brings out the perverts.

Look for a copycat angle.

I'm all over it.

You know, the degree you like this
stuff almost makes me uncomfortable.

She came out here
to be an actress.

She was in Our
Town in 10th grade.

She was the main one...

you know, the one
that does all the talking.

Suddenly, we couldn't reach her.

Our letters came back...

and her phone was disconnected.

I'd heard the same
story for decades.

Small-town beauty leaves home
looking for excitement and gets it.

Used to be it ended with
her dancing in a cage...

or if she was lucky,
living in some apartment...

paid for by a gentleman
three times her age.

But lately, I'd been
hearing something else.

People all over town
knew, but nobody told us.

We were the last ones to know.

That she was on the
Internet as an escort?

We tried that number, but
she never called us back.

And they review
them on the Internet.

Like sows at auction.

I'm gonna find her for you.

I promise.

Hey, everyone, back.

Hey, no pictures.

- Cameras off. COP:
Hey. Hey, hey. You.

Come on, guys, we need
to keep everyone back.

Take a little pride in
your jobs. Hey. Hey, you.

Don't make me take
that camera from you.

Hey, I said everyone back.
Beth, come on, you know the drill.

- Who are those guys?
- They heard the apartment's available.

- Thought they might take it.
- Are they FBI?

- No comment.
- Can I quote you on that?

We're dealing with a serious
situation. I need you to back off.

Okay? Please, for once.

Is it like San Francisco,
the escort killer there?

Copycat? Or did he come to L.A.?

All right, everyone
back. Coming out.

Is that why the FBI's
here? He's come to L.A.?

Beth, you know what you
need? You need an off switch.

So your reporter
friend... What's her name?

- You know her name.
- Yeah, Beth. Right.

So how's that going
since happy hour?

Fine.

Oh. Knowing you, that
means you're avoiding her.

You're a romantic in the abstract, my
friend, but the reality of fang on flesh...

Look, you said you could
help me find the missing girl.

- Did I?
- Yes.

Hmm. What do you
think he's here for?

Your new valet? JOSEF: No.

Maestro of all
things telephonic.

Rider England.

Mick St. John.

I hear you're
looking for someone.

Right.

Hmm. "A perfect 10."

- What'd she do, she break your heart?
- No, her parents'.

She requires references.
You know that.

Yeah, I'm not looking to hook
up. I just need the address.

No problem.

You hear that? No problem.

No problem.

Boy, a lot's changed
in 400 years.

Yeah, there's no regular
cathouses anymore.

Another casualty of the
digital age. Now it's categories.

Blonds, Asians, busty, mature.

Equestrian. Hmm.
Choice, choice, choice.

- It's very efficient, very American.
- You sound almost nostalgic.

Whatever happened to four girls on a
street corner undercutting each other?

Okay.

Here we go.

Wilshire Corridor. God, these
pros do love their high-rises.

Thank you, gentlemen.

All right, listen up.

To you both.

Together a year now.

- Cheers.
- Hey. Wait, I'm not through.

- Is anyone else dying of thirst here?
- To you.

- And to that moment you first met.
- Don't...

The only two cars in a parking
lot the size of Rhode Island collide.

You said, "Let an insurance adjuster
call it an accident. I call it fate."

So to, um...

- Insurance adjusters.
- Fate.

- To fate.
- Cheers.

Cheers.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm kind of
expecting a call right now.

Hey.

Yeah, I'm good. Uh...

Yeah, I can tonight.

Um... Maybe in like
two or three hours?

Right now? No, I'm kind of
in the middle of something.

No, no, I want to. Okay.

I'm sorry about that.

I've got this weird case. I've got a
window to get into the morgue tonight.

- You'd rather be at the morgue?
- Heh. No, not rather. It's just...

You know, I can probably
get in tomorrow morning.

No, it's okay.

If you have to, you have to.

- Thank you for being so understanding.
- Yeah, I'm so understanding.

- Okay, you're mad.
- I'm not mad.

Well, you're something.

Look, you got to
admit, that's pretty rude.

Those are your friends in there.

You invite them here, and
then he calls and you bail.

- Who calls?
- Mick St. John.

That wasn't Mick St. John.

That was a contact I
have at the morgue.

Well, what would
you have thought?

I saw the way you two looked at
each other when we bumped into him.

- Oh, for goodness' sakes.
- Honestly.

I couldn't miss it.

Now is not the right time
to have this conversation.

The right time?
It's our anniversary.

One year together. I cooked the
chicken for you. Your friends are here.

I said I'll be back
as soon as I can.

You know what?

Take your time.

Normally, vampires don't have
to frequent women in the trade.

Between willing freshies
and your basic vamp appeal...

there's just no need.

But this was different.

A vampire had been here.

Even through the
door, I could smell it.

Struggle, resistance,
and ultimately, defeat.

And it wasn't just the victim.

It was the vampire
who did it to her.

- Hurry. My boss will be back any minute.
- It won't take long.

- What are you looking for?
- I'll know when I see it.

- Why haven't they identified her?
- They have, kind of.

Not according to this.

Well, she had one of those
stripper names, you know?

Give her Jane Doe until
we find out who she really is.

Oh, my God. He did this?

Mm-hm.

- You think it's funny?
- You pay me 50 bucks...

to see a dead girl naked, I
assume you're up for anything.

You're sick. Do you know that?

Shh. It's my boss.

Good evening, sir.

You sure you wanna do this?

We have to know.

Okay.

Dr. Werzer to Radiology.

I'm sorry.

It's not her.

It's not her.

Everybody's gone
now. You can get up.

- What are you doing here?
- I was about to ask you the same thing.

No, the person hiding around the
corner in the other room gets to go first.

There is a sexual
predator on the loose.

I don't know if sexual
is the right word...

but there was rumors
about an odd m.o.

A biter?

That's an understatement. I
don't mean to cast aspersions...

- but I think it might be...
- It's a vampire.

An extremely frustrated
and dangerous one.

So your turn.

- What?
- What are you doing here?

- You tracking the same guy?
- I'm looking for a girl.

The daughter of that
couple. She's an escort.

Not this escort?

No. This is the girl their daughter
came to L.A. with after high school.

They were roommates.

You brought those people here thinking
they were gonna see their daughter?

I went to a condo thinking
I'd find their live daughter.

That happened to
be a crime scene.

- Which crime scene?
- Wilshire Corridor, 87...

- 18?
- Yeah.

That's how I ended up here too.

I'm freezing. Let's
get out of here.

Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

Don't you think it's a little weird
running into each other here?

- Not really. What do you mean?
- I mean you've been avoiding me.

- No, I haven't.
- Yes, you have.

Ever since, you
know, the desert...

you've been dodging
my calls, avoiding me.

And then we run into each other
twice. First downtown and now here.

Following two different paths,
we end up in the same place.

Don't you think that's strange?

I'm not big on categorizing
things into strange and not.

Wow. Vampires
make really bad liars.

Go on, admit it.

I don't think we need
to make this a big deal.

It is a big deal. I fed you.

You were dying out there, and I
brought you back to life with my blood.

With my blood, Mick.

- And now we're here together.
- What do you want me to say? Huh?

What do you want me to say?

I want you to admit that
something happened between us.

Okay.

Okay. Something happened.

- If you're gonna say it like that...
- Hey.

So, what if I called you back?

- What then? Huh?
- What do you mean?

- You understand I'm a vampire, right?
- Yeah.

And don't you have some
dinner that you're giving?

All I'm saying is that
I'm here and so are you...

and there must be a reason.

Help me track the killer,
and I think you'll find the girl.

Hey. How are you? - Good.

We'll squeeze it in?
- I think so.

- Have a nice day.
- I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah? MAN: Hello, Cherish?

Who is this?

I'm a friend of your old
roommate, Jazzmyn.

Huh.

- How is she? MAN:
Good. Never better.

- She says hi.
- Really?

Because we kind of had a falling-out
after she swiped my old website.

Yeah, she's sorry about that.

She said I should
give you a call.

Look, I'm private now.

Not really into expanding
my circle of friends.

Could offer a
substantial donation.

Five hundred roses?

Okay.

- Per hour?
- Fine.

And you're sure Jazzmyn
won't get all skeezy about this?

I promise you...

she won't say anything.

You'd think by now you'd
know how to spell "predator."

- So was the morgue exciting?
- I'm sorry I had to bail.

Don't apologize to me. Apologize
to the man who burnt dinner.

- Was he mad?
- No, not really.

That's kind of the point.

What's going on
with you two, anyway?

What do you mean?

You've been together for a year,
and you're not even living together.

- We have sleepovers.
- Exactly.

Don't you think it's
time to get serious?

- I am serious.
- About stiffs in the morgue.

Is there someone else?

- No.
- Really?

No.

No. Where is this coming from, anyway?
I thought you said Josh and I were fated.

Fate's fine, but at some point,
the human's gotta make it happen.

Fate's not gonna get the keys made
and move your stuff into his apartment.

I mean, if that's what you want.

The universe sends
you a sign, and you just...

You see? That's a sign.
But you gotta answer the call.

It's not Josh.

The dead escort's
name was Natalie Hall.

Professional name, Jazzmyn.

Two Z's and a Y.

Voted most likely to succeed
by her high school class.

Not sure how the others fared, but
that's seeming unlikely at this point.

Favorite quote, "Have fun in
the sun, get laid in the shade."

Be careful what
you wish for, right?

Your guest, sir.

Josef, Rider, meet Beth Turner.

Beth Turner. Buzzwire.

- Such beautiful women on the Internet.
- Thank you.

I guess.

So are you gonna tell
me what I'm doing here?

Mick said you had a great voice.

Rider here has got a list
of all of the incoming calls...

to the dead escort's website
during the last 24 hours of her life.

One of them is
probably the killer.

- So you want me to call the numbers?
- Quick study.

- And, what, talk to him?
- If we're lucky, yeah.

What am I supposed to say?
I've never spoken to a serial killer.

Well, be polite.
"Please. Thank you."

- Just do whatever...
- Whatever escorts do.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Whatever you want.

- Hello?
- Hey.

Who is this?

- It's me, Jazzmyn.
- Oh, you.

- So I was thinking...
- What? What were you thinking?

- You know.
- No, I don't know, you idiot whore bag.

I told you never
to call me here.

- I messed up.
- No, you didn't.

- I ruined it.
- You didn't. It's fine.

It's not him. He
thinks she's alive.

He's not who we're looking
for, really. You were...

- She was...
- Very impressive.

Hot. Very, very hot.

Next? BETH: Uh-huh.

Hello?

- Hey.
- Cherish?

Cherish?

- Is that you? Are you there?
- Yeah, I'm here.

Where else would I be?

We're still on for today, right?
- I can't wait.

- That's why I'm calling you.
- Good.

I'm really glad.

You seem really nice.

We're gonna have a blast.

So...

- Yeah?
- See you at Greenies?

Wait. He hung up.

That's weird. Kind of
reminded me of high school.

Sounds like he wants a
girlfriend, not a hooker.

- Does anyone know where Greenies is?
- I've never heard of it.

I'll poke around.

Meanwhile, the call was traced
to a landline. 1730 Los Feliz.

If the plan is for today,
you might wanna hurry.

Let's go.

So your friends,
are they, um...?

- What?
- You know.

Vampires?

Can't tell, can you?

Scary.

- It doesn't sound like...
- Shh.

Okay.

- Hands up. Turn around.
- Let them go!

Put your hands on your head.

Now.

Aah! Okay. All right, all right.

Cherish?

Sure. Why not?

Finally, it's you.

I saw your picture.

Just sit down, okay?

You know what?

Get me a double.

"Mick St. John."

Do you have any idea how
close you came to getting shot?

Do you have any idea how close you
came to getting your face ripped off?

I never understood what it
is about humans and yelling.

Not that I don't appreciate that
flushed, blood-in-the-face look...

more than I used to, back
before I became a vampire.

It's just that whatever relief
elevating your blood pressure brings...

causes you to miss
things, important things.

Have you arrested
for this. You got that?

What's that?

I don't know. Looks
like some old photo.

- Looks like old hookers or something.
- Could we stick to the case?

Not waste time on
some stupid-ass picture?

The feds have this guy nailed.

He's a loner, 38
to 45 years old.

Tortured animals as
a child. Wet his bed.

That freezer...

it's a place to keep
trophies of his victims.

- So you say he's 38, huh?
- He's 38 to 45.

- Profiling's not an exact science.
- I'll say.

They said we can go.

- He's a kid, maybe 16 years old.
- Sixteen?

Well, going on
200. I saw a picture.

- What an awkward age.
- You're not kidding.

You know boys that age think
about sex 20 times a minute?

And that's a scientific fact.

Times two centuries,
that's gotta take a toll.

- Should we tell the police?
- He's a vampire.

- It's probably healthier if we don't.
- Oh, my God.

- What?
- Natalie Hall.

- This belonged to the dead escort.
- Keep it hidden until we're in the car.

They're still watching us.

Look.

That's her. That's
the girl I'm looking for.

- You think he's with her?
- There's a good chance.

Does that say "Greenies"?

- There's a number on the back.
- Call it.

So, what's the
deal? You a virgin?

Depends on what you mean.

I mean, would I be your first?

My first?

Not really.

How old are you?

I said.

Twenty-one, sure. I mean really.

Really?

Hundred ninety-seven and a half.

Look, you seem like a nice kid.

- Are you sure that...?
- Hey. Don't answer it.

Okay, okay. Just...

It went to Cherish's voice mail.

It's a public place at a crowded pier.
She should be okay until we get there.

- How far is it, anyway?
- It's at the beach. We're almost there.

So we can go on the
rides, play some games.

- Rides?
- The roller coaster's killer. You'll love it.

I don't have time for all that.

- Come here.
- You can wait.

I want you closer.

- So how does it work, anyway?
- What?

Just, you know, the sex thing.

Your parents never told you?

They somehow skipped
the part involving vampires.

- Oh.
- Vampires and humans, I mean.

Oh, I'm talking totally
hypothetically, believe me.

Kiss me.

- No way.
- Like you mean it.

You wanna know how it works?

- It doesn't, okay? It doesn't work.
- So it's impossible?

It's not impossible, it's
inadvisable. It never ends well.

- Never?
- We're almost there.

- You should check that number again.
- Okay.

- Hey, maybe you should just calm down.
- No.

Maybe you should just
do what you're paid for.

- I'm out of here.
- Do not answer that.

Yeah?

Aah! MINEO: Sit still.

Do you have her?
What's going on?

I can't tell. Listen.

Hello? Hello, Cherish?

Now give me the phone.

Cherish?

- Anybody there?
- You're coming with me.

- Aah.
- This way.

I can hear you, and
I know what you are.

I understand why
you're doing this.

The bordello, is that it?

Who turned you?
What did they do?

Are you there?

- Let her go. I know you want to.
- Who are you?

Who are you?

My name is Mick St. John,
and I know you're a vampire.

Where did you get this number?

- You're a vampire like me.
- Oh, like you, huh?

- I know what you're going through.
- Oh, you know? Is that right?

I know that you feel cursed. Like
fate has played a cruel trick on you.

Like you're gonna wake up one
day and realize this was all a mistake.

But you don't wake up. Not as
the years roll by, the decades.

Centuries, Mick.
Two hundred years.

I didn't choose any of this.

- It was done to me.
- You can always choose.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, right.

- You should get those, man.
- Hold up. Just give me a minute.

Yeah. MAN: Santa Monica?

Yeah, that one. - Yeah.

Yeah. So we should be there.

Let go of me.

Let me go!

You don't have to do this.

Hey, man, let her go.

- Wait, wait, wait.
- Leave me alone.

- That guy was gonna kill me.
- It's okay.

It doesn't have to be this way.

I know what you're
going through.

I've been through it myself.

You hear me? I
know what it's like.

Think so? You think you know?

Couldn't possibly. I mean,
you were turned at, what, 30?

I'm stuck.

All I've ever wanted is to
grow out of this, and I won't.

Ever.

Someone betrayed you.

Oh, you think?

You're not the only one.

Have you ever loved
someone completely?

So that she was
your whole world.

You'd do anything she
asked. Anything at all.

Have you ever loved
someone that way?

So you forgot about yourself,
and all you thought about was her.

I'll love you forever.

- Forever.
- Forever?

Yes.

See, I never have.

If I've learned
anything in 85 years...

it's that what we want
doesn't always matter.

You can wanna get
from here to there.

You can wanna survive.

But if the universe wants
something different...

you can run, but you can't hide.

Hi.

- Where are the cameras?
- They don't want this public.

"Escort nearly killed.
Reunited with parents."

That's about the juiciest
story we've ever had.

- She doesn't wanna be on the Internet.
- Since when?

- I gotta go.
- Uh...

Maybe it's the sum of a million
coincidences we don't quite control...

that brings us to a particular
place at a particular time.

Or maybe it's the
choices we make.

The actions we take.

If there's one thing I've
learned in 85 years...

it's that what we want,
it doesn't always matter.

You just took off.

Oh. You were kind of
tied up with your editor.

You could at least
have said goodbye.

Good...

bye.

What we want
doesn't always matter.

But then again...

sometimes it's all that does.