Monsters (1988–1990): Season 1, Episode 17 - Taps - full transcript
A woman kills her boyfriend then dismembers him, but his leg gets revenge.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[FATHER SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Honey, it's family hour.
There must be something on.
DAUGHTER:
Oh, wow, Candy Critters!
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
Oh, great. It's Monsters,
our favorite show.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
Shh, it's starting.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
MAN: No!
No, please!
Please don't leave me.
You can't.
We're part of each other.
Gary, I just got
a Garyectomy.
You said you'd
love me forever.
Well, it was six months.
I was off a little.
And the show?
You'd walk off the hottest
musical on Broadway?
Nobody cares
about Broadway anymore.
I won a Tappy,
and the only TV I can get
is Circus of the Stars.
I wanna be a movie actress.
I wanna express
the complex and tormented
and the genuinely deep
emotions I have inside me.
I wanna do accents.
Suzy, I love you,
but you will never
make it as an actress.
You're a dancer like me.
When we're out there,
our bodies blend perfectly.
It's like we're one person.
We can be
an immortal dance team.
Every immortal dance team
has been completely forgotten.
I won't let you
break the contract.
Just because you have
approval over cast changes
doesn't mean you can
wreck my career.
I won't let you wreck it.
You've already packed.
No, no.
Well, what's in there?
Publicity photos.
And a few clothes.
[SLAMS SUITCASE]
Have you gotten an offer?
Have you accepted an offer?
Do you honestly believe
I'm that tawdry?
Suzy, all I want
is for you and I to
dance together forever.
You'll come to your senses.
You'll forget about Hollywood,
but even if you don't...
I'll never let you go.
Gary! Let's lunch.
Is that a deal memo
in your pocket or are
you just glad to see me?
Both. [LAUGHS]
I got you pay or play
in a green-lighted
no-brainer at Warner.
At 50 domestic,
you get first look,
house keeping on the lot.
If there's a sequel,
you score two points
on the back end.
You're talking my language.
Suze, this thing sails,
you are a player.
But they want
feedback tomorrow.
Well, tell 'em yes.
Now, listen,
I'm agenting
this whole package.
I mean, I can't
promise you and not deliver.
That jerk's gotta release you.
Sam, please.
I love Gary dearly.
And yet, our souls
never quite intertwined.
Well, I hear you've been
twining the stage manager.
Have you been talking
to the horn section?
That's it.
I'll tell Gary everything.
I'll show him the video tapes.
Suze, can I give you
a little advice?
Take off your
screw you shoes.
It just makes things worse.
You catch more flies
with honey.
Oh, a proverb.
I was hoping
you'd recite a proverb.
The guy loves you, remember?
Pull out all the stops,
nice him up the wazoo.
Oh, forget it.
It's hopeless.
Gary'll never let me go.
Not as long as he's alive.
I gotta go.
It's an hour till curtain.
I know but I got
work to do.
I'm gonna make me some honey.
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
[DRILL WHIRRING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Just a moment.
Darling, I'm sorry.
Please have a drink.
I ordered dinner,
I thought we could...
You have your taps on.
You said to come right over.
Darling,
I hope that little
scene this afternoon
didn't freak you out.
Sometimes my girlish emotions
run away with me.
Must be that darn estrogen.
I'm not going to Hollywood.
I love you too much.
I love you more than...
Stop.
I know you're lying.
I've decided that I don't
want to be some lunatic
jealous lover.
If you have to
go to Hollywood,
go.
Um... What?
I was so angry with you today
that I just lost control.
You see, it's when
I think that you're plotting
behind my back
trying to get rid of me.
That's when I feel
that I could kill you.
What is it? What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing.
This is just what I wanted.
And I honestly don't think
you'll live to regret it.
Something is wrong.
Hey. We should celebrate.
I mean, this is incredible
what you're doing for me.
Why don't we have
one last dance
before you go.
Before I go...
Before we part.
Look, I really don't feel
as though I might
be able to dance.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
[GRUNTS]
You okay?
Poison!
You poisoned me.
You probably have
one of those
24 hour bugs.
Tomorrow,
you won't feel a thing.
I'm dying!
Gary, so melodramatic.
I wouldn't get up
just yet, Gary.
You still look a little
green around the gills.
All I want if for you
and I to dance
together forever.
Isn't that a lovely thought.
[GRUNTING]
Oops.
It's gonna be tough
to sell this as
natural causes.
Crap. There goes my career.
Hey. Wait.
It's an acting challenge.
A courtroom scene.
Your Honor,
he came at me.
He tried to choke me!
Luckily, he tripped
and fell on a blunt object.
Oh. Oh, and then
he got up,
and luckily, I had
a poison drink in my hand
so I forced open his mouth.
No.
Yes, I killed him.
And why not,
I'm that kind of woman.
I like that.
It's a good image for me.
'Cause I might
have to do time.
Meh, maybe five years.
Oh, God, that's 15
in actress years.
I gotta hide the body.
[WHIRRING]
[WHIRRING STOPS]
Let's have a hand
for Gary Gregory.
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
I guess letting me out
of that contract cost you
an arm and a leg, huh.
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
You always said
I'd be a hack actress.
But all I really need
are some good parts.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
What the hell has happened?
Why'd you call me
at three in the morning?
It's Gary!
I was nice to him
like you said.
But he didn't
want to break up.
He was completely
torn apart.
It was horrible!
Cut to the chase, babe.
He got really mad.
He tried to attack me.
And then he was gone.
What do you mean "gone"?
I think he quit show business.
And all because of me.
[SOBBING]
Suze, don't take this
the wrong way,
but you really are
a lousy actress.
You blew it, right?
You got him mad
and now he won't speak to you?
No, I don't think he will.
But if you'd seen him
you'd know it was serious.
I don't think
he'll ever dance again.
Sam, if Gary disappears,
they'll have to
close the show.
Well, technically, yeah,
but Gary Gregory's not gonna
quit show business.
He'd die first.
Listen, honey,
I gotta be at CBS in four hours
for a power coffee.
Now, you grab some Zs,
I'll schmooze
his agent tomorrow.
I guess it was rough, huh.
I never saw a man
go to pieces like that.
Well, he'll pull
himself together.
I don't think so.
[TAPPING SOUND]
[TAPPING SOUND]
[TAPPING CONTINUES]
Did you see this?
Oscar nomination?
What does that
Streep woman want?
Why doesn't she just
have that statuette
permanently implanted
in her hot little hands?
Suze, I'm the last one
to knock success,
but let's face it.
Your thesping
in Graveyard Slasher III does
not keep Meryl up at night.
Graveyard Slasher III
was a totally honest portrayal
of a contemporary woman's
relationship with a zombie.
You spend half of it naked.
[TAPPING NOISE]
What was that?
Huh. Probably the pipes.
It sounded like...
You moron!
What?
You low budget slimeball.
You booked me the same room
I used to live in.
Hey, kiddo,
with the per diem
you're getting
it was either this room
or a bucket of fried chicken.
Anyway, I thought
it was sentimental.
Sentimental?
It was in this very room
exactly one year ago today,
give or take a couple months
that Gary Gregory and I parted.
Okay, sorry.
You know, they officially
closed the investigation.
I don't pay attention
to such matters.
Did they ever find him?
No.
But you know, it's been
a year and change,
so I guess that's it.
You said
a mouthful there, Sam.
If you don't mind,
the interview is tomorrow
on Wake Up, New York,
Lunch Time, New York,
and Eat Dinner, New York.
Okay. Just try to
live through the night,
and tomorrow I'll get you
the finest medium-priced
suite in New York.
I would've preferred
the fried chicken.
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
Sam?
Brad, dear.
Suzie St. Claire.
Wanna come over and play?
Yes, I know what time it is.
Surely your wife's asleep.
Jerk.
[TAPPING NOISE]
[GASPS]
Who are you?
I know you're there.
I can see you.
Come out!
I said come out!
[SCREAMING]
No. No!
Please get away.
Please don't. Don't.
Don't what?
What am I doing?
What am I scared of?
It's a leg!
Ow!
You're Gary's leg, aren't you?
You know,
what's done is done.
I mean, we gotta go on.
We gotta keep living.
I know you're kind of
probably at loose ends.
I mean, a leg alone
in New York, right?
What are you gonna do?
And I was thinking
that Sam could
maybe get you some work.
He could book you into
the carnival, you freak!
[GROANS]
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
Just tell me, please.
You want to dance with me?
There's not enough of you.
I mean,
you just need a little more
if we're gonna dance.
You're just...
You just need a little more.
[FOOT TAPPING]
[DRAWER OPENS]
[CLATTERING]
[DRILL WHIRRING]
SAM:
Stopped taking meetings,
you won't answer my faxes.
You don't even read coverage.
Suze, I gotta tell you,
you career is going
right in the toilet.
That recluse bit
worked for Garbo.
On you it doesn't fit.
What's the idea?
You think it's gonna
hike your price?
I'm not interested
in movies, Sam.
Well, the feeling
is getting mutual.
I've changed, Sam.
I realize now
how deeply he cared for me.
Who?
Gary.
Gary Gregory?
If it weren't for him,
I wouldn't be
where I am today.
Suze, I'm not sure
that that's something
to crawl about.
The reason I came here
is, well...
I'm not sure
I'm the right agent
for you anymore.
Are you coming tonight?
To that cockamamie
show of yours? That
tribute to Gary Gregory?
I thought you never
wanted to dance again.
I can't help myself.
This whole thing
is becoming bizarro.
I mean, no one
even remembers the guy.
I guess I'm keeping
his memory alive.
All right.
Get me a couple of tops.
It's only six dollars.
Hey, you're gonna be late.
I don't want to go!
I don't want to dance!
Please stop me.
Don't make me go!
What's the matter with you?
You turning psycho on me?
You don't wanna do
the stupid show, don't do it.
Let's get back to Hollywood.
We'll call the theater
and I'll cancel it.
No!
No!
I have to do it.
I have to dance.
No! No, I don't.
I don't wanna dance.
I hate dancing.
I love to dance.
I live to dance!
No.
All I want is to dance.
All I want is to
dance together forever!
[FOOT TAPPING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[FATHER SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Honey, it's family hour.
There must be something on.
DAUGHTER:
Oh, wow, Candy Critters!
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
Oh, great. It's Monsters,
our favorite show.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
Shh, it's starting.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
MAN: No!
No, please!
Please don't leave me.
You can't.
We're part of each other.
Gary, I just got
a Garyectomy.
You said you'd
love me forever.
Well, it was six months.
I was off a little.
And the show?
You'd walk off the hottest
musical on Broadway?
Nobody cares
about Broadway anymore.
I won a Tappy,
and the only TV I can get
is Circus of the Stars.
I wanna be a movie actress.
I wanna express
the complex and tormented
and the genuinely deep
emotions I have inside me.
I wanna do accents.
Suzy, I love you,
but you will never
make it as an actress.
You're a dancer like me.
When we're out there,
our bodies blend perfectly.
It's like we're one person.
We can be
an immortal dance team.
Every immortal dance team
has been completely forgotten.
I won't let you
break the contract.
Just because you have
approval over cast changes
doesn't mean you can
wreck my career.
I won't let you wreck it.
You've already packed.
No, no.
Well, what's in there?
Publicity photos.
And a few clothes.
[SLAMS SUITCASE]
Have you gotten an offer?
Have you accepted an offer?
Do you honestly believe
I'm that tawdry?
Suzy, all I want
is for you and I to
dance together forever.
You'll come to your senses.
You'll forget about Hollywood,
but even if you don't...
I'll never let you go.
Gary! Let's lunch.
Is that a deal memo
in your pocket or are
you just glad to see me?
Both. [LAUGHS]
I got you pay or play
in a green-lighted
no-brainer at Warner.
At 50 domestic,
you get first look,
house keeping on the lot.
If there's a sequel,
you score two points
on the back end.
You're talking my language.
Suze, this thing sails,
you are a player.
But they want
feedback tomorrow.
Well, tell 'em yes.
Now, listen,
I'm agenting
this whole package.
I mean, I can't
promise you and not deliver.
That jerk's gotta release you.
Sam, please.
I love Gary dearly.
And yet, our souls
never quite intertwined.
Well, I hear you've been
twining the stage manager.
Have you been talking
to the horn section?
That's it.
I'll tell Gary everything.
I'll show him the video tapes.
Suze, can I give you
a little advice?
Take off your
screw you shoes.
It just makes things worse.
You catch more flies
with honey.
Oh, a proverb.
I was hoping
you'd recite a proverb.
The guy loves you, remember?
Pull out all the stops,
nice him up the wazoo.
Oh, forget it.
It's hopeless.
Gary'll never let me go.
Not as long as he's alive.
I gotta go.
It's an hour till curtain.
I know but I got
work to do.
I'm gonna make me some honey.
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
[DRILL WHIRRING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Just a moment.
Darling, I'm sorry.
Please have a drink.
I ordered dinner,
I thought we could...
You have your taps on.
You said to come right over.
Darling,
I hope that little
scene this afternoon
didn't freak you out.
Sometimes my girlish emotions
run away with me.
Must be that darn estrogen.
I'm not going to Hollywood.
I love you too much.
I love you more than...
Stop.
I know you're lying.
I've decided that I don't
want to be some lunatic
jealous lover.
If you have to
go to Hollywood,
go.
Um... What?
I was so angry with you today
that I just lost control.
You see, it's when
I think that you're plotting
behind my back
trying to get rid of me.
That's when I feel
that I could kill you.
What is it? What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing.
This is just what I wanted.
And I honestly don't think
you'll live to regret it.
Something is wrong.
Hey. We should celebrate.
I mean, this is incredible
what you're doing for me.
Why don't we have
one last dance
before you go.
Before I go...
Before we part.
Look, I really don't feel
as though I might
be able to dance.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
[GRUNTS]
You okay?
Poison!
You poisoned me.
You probably have
one of those
24 hour bugs.
Tomorrow,
you won't feel a thing.
I'm dying!
Gary, so melodramatic.
I wouldn't get up
just yet, Gary.
You still look a little
green around the gills.
All I want if for you
and I to dance
together forever.
Isn't that a lovely thought.
[GRUNTING]
Oops.
It's gonna be tough
to sell this as
natural causes.
Crap. There goes my career.
Hey. Wait.
It's an acting challenge.
A courtroom scene.
Your Honor,
he came at me.
He tried to choke me!
Luckily, he tripped
and fell on a blunt object.
Oh. Oh, and then
he got up,
and luckily, I had
a poison drink in my hand
so I forced open his mouth.
No.
Yes, I killed him.
And why not,
I'm that kind of woman.
I like that.
It's a good image for me.
'Cause I might
have to do time.
Meh, maybe five years.
Oh, God, that's 15
in actress years.
I gotta hide the body.
[WHIRRING]
[WHIRRING STOPS]
Let's have a hand
for Gary Gregory.
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
I guess letting me out
of that contract cost you
an arm and a leg, huh.
[WHIRRING CONTINUES]
You always said
I'd be a hack actress.
But all I really need
are some good parts.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
What the hell has happened?
Why'd you call me
at three in the morning?
It's Gary!
I was nice to him
like you said.
But he didn't
want to break up.
He was completely
torn apart.
It was horrible!
Cut to the chase, babe.
He got really mad.
He tried to attack me.
And then he was gone.
What do you mean "gone"?
I think he quit show business.
And all because of me.
[SOBBING]
Suze, don't take this
the wrong way,
but you really are
a lousy actress.
You blew it, right?
You got him mad
and now he won't speak to you?
No, I don't think he will.
But if you'd seen him
you'd know it was serious.
I don't think
he'll ever dance again.
Sam, if Gary disappears,
they'll have to
close the show.
Well, technically, yeah,
but Gary Gregory's not gonna
quit show business.
He'd die first.
Listen, honey,
I gotta be at CBS in four hours
for a power coffee.
Now, you grab some Zs,
I'll schmooze
his agent tomorrow.
I guess it was rough, huh.
I never saw a man
go to pieces like that.
Well, he'll pull
himself together.
I don't think so.
[TAPPING SOUND]
[TAPPING SOUND]
[TAPPING CONTINUES]
Did you see this?
Oscar nomination?
What does that
Streep woman want?
Why doesn't she just
have that statuette
permanently implanted
in her hot little hands?
Suze, I'm the last one
to knock success,
but let's face it.
Your thesping
in Graveyard Slasher III does
not keep Meryl up at night.
Graveyard Slasher III
was a totally honest portrayal
of a contemporary woman's
relationship with a zombie.
You spend half of it naked.
[TAPPING NOISE]
What was that?
Huh. Probably the pipes.
It sounded like...
You moron!
What?
You low budget slimeball.
You booked me the same room
I used to live in.
Hey, kiddo,
with the per diem
you're getting
it was either this room
or a bucket of fried chicken.
Anyway, I thought
it was sentimental.
Sentimental?
It was in this very room
exactly one year ago today,
give or take a couple months
that Gary Gregory and I parted.
Okay, sorry.
You know, they officially
closed the investigation.
I don't pay attention
to such matters.
Did they ever find him?
No.
But you know, it's been
a year and change,
so I guess that's it.
You said
a mouthful there, Sam.
If you don't mind,
the interview is tomorrow
on Wake Up, New York,
Lunch Time, New York,
and Eat Dinner, New York.
Okay. Just try to
live through the night,
and tomorrow I'll get you
the finest medium-priced
suite in New York.
I would've preferred
the fried chicken.
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
Sam?
Brad, dear.
Suzie St. Claire.
Wanna come over and play?
Yes, I know what time it is.
Surely your wife's asleep.
Jerk.
[TAPPING NOISE]
[GASPS]
Who are you?
I know you're there.
I can see you.
Come out!
I said come out!
[SCREAMING]
No. No!
Please get away.
Please don't. Don't.
Don't what?
What am I doing?
What am I scared of?
It's a leg!
Ow!
You're Gary's leg, aren't you?
You know,
what's done is done.
I mean, we gotta go on.
We gotta keep living.
I know you're kind of
probably at loose ends.
I mean, a leg alone
in New York, right?
What are you gonna do?
And I was thinking
that Sam could
maybe get you some work.
He could book you into
the carnival, you freak!
[GROANS]
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
Just tell me, please.
You want to dance with me?
There's not enough of you.
I mean,
you just need a little more
if we're gonna dance.
You're just...
You just need a little more.
[FOOT TAPPING]
[DRAWER OPENS]
[CLATTERING]
[DRILL WHIRRING]
SAM:
Stopped taking meetings,
you won't answer my faxes.
You don't even read coverage.
Suze, I gotta tell you,
you career is going
right in the toilet.
That recluse bit
worked for Garbo.
On you it doesn't fit.
What's the idea?
You think it's gonna
hike your price?
I'm not interested
in movies, Sam.
Well, the feeling
is getting mutual.
I've changed, Sam.
I realize now
how deeply he cared for me.
Who?
Gary.
Gary Gregory?
If it weren't for him,
I wouldn't be
where I am today.
Suze, I'm not sure
that that's something
to crawl about.
The reason I came here
is, well...
I'm not sure
I'm the right agent
for you anymore.
Are you coming tonight?
To that cockamamie
show of yours? That
tribute to Gary Gregory?
I thought you never
wanted to dance again.
I can't help myself.
This whole thing
is becoming bizarro.
I mean, no one
even remembers the guy.
I guess I'm keeping
his memory alive.
All right.
Get me a couple of tops.
It's only six dollars.
Hey, you're gonna be late.
I don't want to go!
I don't want to dance!
Please stop me.
Don't make me go!
What's the matter with you?
You turning psycho on me?
You don't wanna do
the stupid show, don't do it.
Let's get back to Hollywood.
We'll call the theater
and I'll cancel it.
No!
No!
I have to do it.
I have to dance.
No! No, I don't.
I don't wanna dance.
I hate dancing.
I love to dance.
I live to dance!
No.
All I want is to dance.
All I want is to
dance together forever!
[FOOT TAPPING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]