Monk (2002–2009): Season 4, Episode 15 - Mr. Monk Goes to the Dentist - full transcript

[Man] We're ahead of schedule.
[Man #2] That's a first, huh?

Wanna grab some coffee?

No. I gotta get home.
We're meeting the wedding planner.

I thought
that was last night.

No, last night was the caterer.
Should have taken my advice.

Should have just eloped.

Well, it's too late now.
No, it's not, man. You can do it.

Hop on a plane tonight.
Go to Vegas. Boom. It's all over.

Rachel's mom
would never speak to me again.

That's the best argument
to do it.

I been trying to get
my mother-in-law to shut up for five years.



- Whoa, what's this?
- What the hell are they doing?

Hit the brakes!
I'm trying!

Try the emergency brake!
This is Baker Four.

We're on Vinton and Hillside.
It's a hijacking.

I repeat,
we are being hijacked.

- [Radio Crackling]
- They're jammin' us.

[Radio Crackling]

## [Up-tempo Folk]

# It's a jungle out there #

# Disorder and confusion
everywhere #

# No one seems to care #

# Well, I do
Hey, who's in charge here #

# It's a jungle out there #

# Poison in the very air
we breathe #



# Do you know what's in the water
that you drink, well, I do #

# And it's amazing #

# People think I'm crazy
'cause I worry all the time #

# If you paid attention
you'd be worried too #

# You better pay attention
or this world we love so much #

# Mightjust kill you #

# I could be wrong now #

# But I don't think so #

# 'Cause it's a jungle out there #

# It's a jungle out there ##

[Disher]
Police found the truck. It's been sittin' here for three days.

[Stottlemeyer]
Thanks. And they left most of the cash.

Yes, sir.

And these are the drivers.

Yeah. The M.E.
Said they put up a fight.

I mean, blood everywhere,
like there was a struggle.

Well, good for them.
Maybe they injured one of the bastards.

Let's check the hospitals.
I want a list of all gunshot wounds, knife wounds.

[Sniffs]
Yes, sir.

You okay?
Oh, toothache.

Is that the same tooth?
I told you to take care of that.

Yeah, I am.
Chewin' on the other side.

It's fine.
I hardly notice it.

[Whimpers]

You're crying.
Randy, you're no good to me like this.

Go to a dentist.
I have an appointment. Saturday.

Oh, I get it.
You don't want to use up your sick days.

You're saving your sick days
for when you're not feeling sick. Is that it?

I'm gonna go talk to Monk.
You made me wanna talk to Monk.

[Groaning]

[Gasps, Whimpers]

I just heard one of those guys
was about to get married. [Moaning]

Randy?
[Groans]

I know. I know.
It's heartbreaking.

They were so young.

[Exhales]

Sweetie, it's okay to cry.

It means you have a heart.

Here, look at me.

You're a compassionate person.
That's nothing to be ashamed of.

It hurts.

Yeah, I know.
I know it hurts.

[Exhales, Groans]

[Sniffs]

You don't want anybody
to see you?

I understand.

You know what,
if anyone says anything, we'll just say-

Oh, my tooth. Oh.
Yeah, perfect! That you have a toothache.

[Groans]
Oh, God! God, this hurts!

Okay, I think
that's overdoing it.

Oh, please, Jesus.
Somebody just shoot me.

Randy, no one's gonna
believe that.

There's some oil on the floor.

Is that a clue?
Is that important?

Nah. There's oil
on the floor.

I'll call the E.P.A.

So, do you, uh-

Any ideas about the robbery?

Did you notice the back bumper,
how damaged it was? Yeah.

These side mirrors are pushed in.

I don't think this armored car
was driven here.

It wasn't?
No.

I think it was carried somehow
in the back of a bigger truck.

You can see the tire tracks
from a larger vehicle.

You're right.

It was probably an 18-wheeler
about 14 feet wide.

So they brought
the armored car here, they unload it.

How did they get the drivers
out of the cab?

With this.
Piece of rubber tubing.

They drilled the hole here
in the Plexiglas.

They gassed 'em out.

Huh. Randy.

Yes, sir.
Bag this stuff.

[Groans]
He has a toothache.

Yeah, I know.
He's been bitching about it all week.

What, it's a real toothache?
Yeah.

[Slaps Arm]
I can't believe you lied to me like that.

- Why didn't you just say,
"I have a toothache"? - I did, like 10 times.

Randy, if you don't take care
of this tooth immediately, today,

I'm gonna rip it out myself.
You understand?

Fine.

What?

[Moans]

Mr. Disher?

Yeah.
Oh, good.

I'm Terri.
You do all your paperwork?

Both sides.
Good boy.

Yeah. Where's your receptionist?

Oh. Our nighttime receptionist quit.

Couldn't stand
the excitement, huh?

[Laughs]
I guess not. So you're gonna be in room "B."

- That's between "A" and "C."
- Well, what if I get lost?

You want me
to draw you a map?

Yeah, I think I can find it.

Okay. I'll be right in.

[Man]
Well, Mr. Disher, I'm Oliver Bloom.

Don't get up. Just kidding.
You're a lieutenant. Am I right?

Yeah.
I can usually guess within one rank.

I see a lot of cops in here.
We're on the medical plan.

Thanks for seeing me
on such short notice.

Oh, that's not a problem.

We're open late
on Tuesdays and Thursdays in case of emergencies.

Also to keep Terri here
off the streets.

[Laughs]
He worries about me.

I do. You know what
I'm really worried about?

I worry about
this bad boy right here,

your number three molar.

Terri, can I have
a light, please? Mm-hmm.

I want you to open wide...

and just try to relax.

Little wider.
Okay, just relax.

- [Screams]
- Okay, okay. A little sensitive.

Well, I hope you're not
in love with that tooth, Lieutenant,

because I'm afraid
it's gonna have to go.

We can either pull it next week,
or we can do it today.

- The choice is yours.
- Let's do it now.

Okay, Randy,
we're gonna put you under for about 30 minutes.

- Not gonna feel a thing.
- Uh-huh.

As a matter of fact,
you're gonna be back here every week for this.

And if you're a really good boy,
I'm gonna give you a sticker afterwards.

What if I'm a bad boy?
[Laughs]

[Bloom]
Just breathe.

Breathe normally. Relax.
I know it's hard with Terri standing over you.

- [Terri Laughs]
- [Voice Echoing] Can you hear me?

Just relax.
I want you to take 10 deep breaths. Okay?

One. Two.

Three.

[Distorted]
Four.

Five.

Ter, I'm gonna need
the angle director probe again, please.

Angle director probe.

Doctor, wait.
I think he's coming awake again.

[Gas Hisses]

[Echoing]
Come on.

[Man]
Hey.!

What are you doing
here?

[Man]
What did you do with Barry Bonds?

I know he's here somewhere.
What did you do? I know he's here.

What are you talking about?
[Echoing] Barry Bonds.

We don't know
Barry Bonds.

He's worth $13 million.
What did you do with him?

We have a patient here.
Yeah, we have a patient here-

Barry Bonds. L-
[Bloom Yells]

[Terri]
No! Wait-

[Disher Mumbles]
Hey.!

[Slurring]
Hey, cut it out.

I'm a police officer.
[Man Yells]

[Terri Grunting]

[Thud]
I'm a police officer.

Hey, sleeping beauty.

Welcome back.

[Inhales]

Are you all right?
Am I all right? Why wouldn't I be?

[Laughs]
There was a man in here.

[Bloom]
She has men in here all the time.

You-You were fighting.

Oh, there was a fight,
all right, between me and this molar here.

[Rattling]
It didn't wanna come out.

There's gonna be
some sensitivity for a few days.

I wrote you a prescription.
It should help with the pain.

- Don't take more than one
every four hours. - Oh, and I almost forgot.

Your sticker.

[Man]
Captain, there are no reports of any stolen trucks.

Well, keep looking.
Widen the net.

Start at Seattle
and work your way south.

Captain, here's a copy
of the updated manifest.

The cash was new, right?
Yes, sir. It would have been easily traced.

All they took were the negotiable
bank certificates. Over $10 million. All right. Let's follow the money.

How many fences in the country
could handle a haul like this? I'll find out.

Captain.
Randy. Welcome back.

You're working with Patterson
on the bank certificates.

Get me Frank Davis
at the Treasury Department on the line.

Put a list together of all the fences.
Any fence in the country- Captain, do you have a minute?

Yeah, what's up?

It's about my dentist.
Uh, Dr. Bloom?

Yeah?

I think, um-

I think he might-
Did he touch you? Inappropriately?

No. Jesus! No! No.

- I think he killed a guy.
- He what?

[Stammers]
It happened.

I think that he-
Dr. Bloom and his assistant Terri-

I think they murdered someone.

You saw it?
Yeah, sort of. I was sedated.

Uh-You were sedated.

Randy, one time I was
under anesthesia, and I thought my mustache was a chipmunk.

I was the Green Lantern once.

It was great.
I didn't wanna wake up.

Look, I was supposed to be out
for 30 minutes. Mm-hmm.

But I was under
for almost two hours.

Was there a body?
No.

Any signs of a struggle?
No.

Who did they kill?
I don't know. It was a guy.

Male. Caucasian.
5'11 ", 200 pounds.

- They were arguing about Barry Bonds,
and I'm pretty sure that I can I.D. Him. - Baseball player?

Yeah! I think that this guy
thought that Dr. Bloom kidnapped Barry Bonds.

They were arguing about
how much Barry Bonds was worth.

If your dentist played baseball,
you know what team he'd play for.

The Yanks.
Get it?

[Laughs]
It's not funny.

It's a little funny, Randy.

Look, why don't you, um-

Take a walk.

Clear your head. Here.
Drop this off at Monk's. He's waiting for this.

Then take the rest
of the day off, okay? Go to the movies, go to the beach.

Okay? Get out of here.
I'll call you later.

- Is this everything?
The whole file? - Yeah.

Monk, can I ask you a question?

What do you, uh, normally charge,
you know, for someone who wants to hire you?

I mean, not the department.
A private party.

- Like who?
- Like me.

Is this about the dentist?
The captain called us.

He said you had a reaction
to the anesthesia.

- You were probably hallucinating.
- No, I wasn't hallucinating.

It really happened.
I mean, it-

It was as real as you are right now
standing in front of me.

Randy.

I'm not standing.

But if you need my help,
you don't have to pay me.

All you have to do is ask.

I mean, you're
one of my oldest friends. I've known you for years.

- Thank you. I want you to come back
to the dentist's office with me- - Let me finish.

- Unfortunately, at the moment,
I have a lot of things on my plate. - No, you don't.

Well, l- I have
this armored car thing.

I have to read this whole file.
That's about 120 pages.

And I just found a typo,
by the way.

And I have to replace
the lint filter on my dryer.

Filters do not
replace themselves. Mr. Monk, can I talk to you for a minute?

I have to talk to Natalie
for a minute. What? Privately?

In the kitchen. Now.
Okay.

Go.

Mr. Monk,
this is Randy we're talking about. He would do anything for-

And I would do anything for him
except this, Natalie.

I can't do it.
I have a thing about dentists.

You have a thing about everything.

That's true.
But dentists are in a separate category all together. Okay?

I can't even discuss it.
I can't even think about discussing it.

I can't even talk about
thinking about discussing it.

Mr. Monk,
everybody's afraid of dentists. Not like this.

Not like this.
Okay, okay, okay. How afraid are you on a scale of one to 10?

[Laughs]
Ten? I am so far beyond 10, I laugh at your 10s.

I lie awake at night
dreaming about 10s.

The chair and the probing
and the drilling and the rinsing.

Okay, Mr. Monk,
what do you do when you get a cavity?

I don't get a cavity.
I don't get cavities.

I brush my teeth 12 times a day
and I floss every 90 minutes.

So you've never been to a dentist.
Once. When I was 12.

- How'd that go?
- Not well.

This is ridiculous.
We're just gonna go there and look around.

You're not a patient.
You're not sitting in the chair.

There's no probing.
There's no drilling. I'll be with you the whole time.

But l-
No.

Oh, boy.

He's happy to do it.

Great.

[Natalie Whispering]
I don't see anything.

It happened
in the other room. Room "B."

What do you think?

Psst. Mr. Monk.

Pretty sure...

this is how the Nazis
decorated their bunkers.

Don't look at that.
Look-Look-Look down.

Look at the carpet.
What a beautiful carpet.

It is a beautiful carpet.
Right? Is that better?

It is better.

[Sighs]
Oh. Highlights for Children.

Oh, "find the hidden picture."
I used to love these.

"Where is the eggbeater?"

It's under the sled.

You're right.

And the umbrella
is in the cloud above the snowman.

And the fish
is next to the ice skate.

Okay, how are you
doing that?

I read that same issue
35 years ago. It was in the-

It was in...
a dentist's office.

Natalie, l- I can't do this.
No, no, no, no, no. You can do this.

You can do this.
You're doing great. Well-

Okay, here. Sit down and think
about something else, okay?

Here. I brought the case file.
Concentrate on this.

Lieutenant.
You back for more?

[Laughs]
No. No.

Actually, I think
I just left my cell phone in the chair in room "B."

Oh. Well, it's empty now
if you wanna take a look.

Great.

I'm Natalie.
I'm just gonna help him.

He can't ever find anything.

I'm gonna be right back.
I'm gonna be right here. Are you okay?

[Groans]
Yeah. Yeah. I'm good.

Okay. I was in the chair.
Mm-hmm.

And-They were fighting
over there.

Okay. Well,
I don't see anything.

He bought new equipment.

He- He bought new equipment
to replace the stuff that got broken during the fight.

Maybe.

[Drill Whirring]

- What's that?
- It's a drill.

[Whirring Continues]

- Don't be afraid.
- I'm not afraid.

[Whispers]
Don't be afraid.

[Whirring Continues]
Don't be afraid.

[Natalie]
Mr. Monk, it's okay.

We're gonna go home now.
You can let go. No, we're not going anywhere.

He hasn't seen anything.
I think he's seen enough.

Is there a problem?
Oh. No, no. I just left my cell phone in the other room.

Dr. Bloom,
this is Adrian Monk. He's a friend of mine.

The Adrian Monk? The detective?
It's a pleasure to meet you.

[Whimpers]

- Apparently, the pleasure's all mine.
- He just has a little thing about dentists.

You know,
it happens to me all the time. I don't take it personally.

[Papers Hit Floor]
Let me help you with that.

Oh, are you working
on the armored car case?

I've been reading about it.
I'm a bit of a true crime aficionado.

I'm sorry.
That's classified.

Got a couple of hobbies then.
True crime and baseball.

Baseball?
Baseball?

Yeah. I'm sure I heard you guys
talking about Barry Bonds yesterday. [Cell Phone Ringing]

You know what?
People hear a lot of crazy things when they're under sedation.

They say a lot of
crazy things too. I should write a book, really.

Yes, sir. I understand.
Okay. We're on our way.

We gotta go.
That was the captain. Oh! We gotta go.

Okay. Take care.

[Sniffing]

A couple of fishermen
just found him.

Well, these two bruises,
10 inches apart-

There's another set of bruises
exactly 10 inches apart.

Yeah. What caused that?

Well, must be something
10 inches apart.

- Thanks a lot.
- Well, what do you got? You said it was important.

I found this in his trousers.
It was in his pants cuff.

It's Plexiglas.

He's gotta be
one of the hijackers. He drilled the hole.

So who is he?
Turn him over.

- I don't recognize him.
Do you? - No.

Oh, my God.

That's the guy.
That's the guy from the dentist's office.

Randy, I told you
to take some time off.

No, Captain, that's the guy.

I told you I could I.D. Him,
and that is definitely the guy.

This is the guy
that your dentist killed along with his hygienist?

- That's right.
- This is the guy that they killed in front of you while you were in the chair.

That's right.
Because Dr. Bloom kidnapped Barry Bonds,

and they were arguing
about the ransom money.

Yeah, what,
is that so crazy? [Laughing]

What the hell are you
laughin' at, Patterson?

I'm not crazy.
Nobody said you were crazy, Randy.

Out loud.
You should have had 'em put some wisdom teeth in.

Hey, you can't even spell
wisdom teeth, Downey. All right, look, Natalie.

What?
You and Monk were there, right? Did you notice anything?

Mmm. No, l- I wasn't really
on my game.

I have this thing
about dentists.

Kroger calls it
a super-megaphobia.

If germs are here
and snakes are here, dentists are-

You see that branch up there,
the second one from the top?

The one above that one.

Captain, are you going to
investigate this or not?

Randy, you were sedated.
You couldn't have seen anything.

Fine. I quit.

You what?
No, I quit.

I'm sick and tired
of being treated like the village idiot.

Here's my gun.
Randy, come on.

And my badge.
I'm not a joke.

I'm not here to entertain you.
I'm a homicide detective.

Randy, don't be ridiculous.
Take it.

Randy.

Randy.

Captain, they just I.D.'d the body.
Are you ready for this?

It's DennyJardeen.

Ooh. I know that name.

Yeah, he's an ex-cop.
Worked the Mission District. He was bad news.

[Moans]

He was charged five times.
Excessive force, conduct unbecoming.

Took an early retirement
four years ago. Thanks.

What's he doing?

Flossing. He's determined
never to go back to a dentist again.

- [Muffled]
Just pretend I'm not here. - Monk, cut it out.

I mean it.
This is a floss-free zone.

Since when?
Since right now. Cut it out.

What's this?
That's nothing.

Background check,
Oliver Bloom.

You're checking out
the dentist?

Yeah. I figured
it couldn't hurt to check him out.

You're doing this for Randy,
aren't you? Why don't you just call him?

Because he quit.

Randy is an adult.
He made a decision, and I respect it.

You miss him.
I can tell.

Look, Natalie, it's not like
we were going steady, okay?

We worked together.
He was just another cop.

That is not true.
You're right. It's not true.

He's not just another cop.
He was the single most annoying human being to ever wear a badge.

[Gargling]

Present company excepted.
[Gargling Continues]

Okay, you guys.
Let's try this new one.

## [Plays Notes]
I printed up some lyric sheets.

Why do we need lyric sheets?
You're the only one singing.

Just so you can follow along
so you know what it's about.

- We're making a statement.
- We are?

Okay. Let's do it.
From the top.

A-five, six, seven, eight.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What was that?
- Countin' off.

Five, six, seven, eight?

That's for dancing.
No, it's not.

You're supposed to go,
"One, two, three, four."

- Come on. What's the difference?
- It's rock and roll, man.

Let's do that blues song
we used to do.

Guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Hey, guys, guys!

Why don't we just stick
to the original material?

Okay? That's what
the people wanna hear.

What people, Randy?
We're in my stepfather's garage.

Well, Aaron, there might be
people one day.

I mean, touring. Record deal.
Come on, guys. Wasn't that the dream?

Maybe... 17 years ago...
in 12th grade.

Well, you know what?

I still believe in the dream.

I believe in the Randy Disher Project.

Come on. I quit my job for this.

- Big mistake.
- All right. Let's just do it, okay?

From the top.

If you say "five, six, seven, eight" again,
I quit. I'm just telling you.

Do you know what?
Do you wanna be the lead singer? 'Scuse me.

Uh- Can I talk to MickJagger
for a second?

Yeah. Sure.
All right, guys. Take a break, huh?

Oh, it's a really good job so far though.
Really good.

[Snickering]
He quit his job.

How's it going?
It's good. It's great.

I should have done this
years ago. Yeah, it's pretty exciting.

Um-You gotta send me a T-shirt
or a hat or something.

Or whatever.
Uh, listen.

I thought you might be interested.
We caught a break on the armored car thing.

We identified the body.
Guy's name is DennyJardeen. He's an ex-cop.

He's got a cousin
who's done some time...

who works for
a trucking company.

So we're gonna go pick him up.
I thought you'd like to come along.

Why? I mean, I'm not a cop
anymore, Leland. Captain.

Look. It's my notebook.
No more witness statements.

Just lyrics
and song ideas now.

You're writing songs?
Yeah, I wrote 17 last night.

I'm on fire.

I'm sure you are.

Uh-

I also wanted to apologize
about the dentist.

It's-

It's just that over the years
you've had, uh, s- so many unique theories.

I wasn't hallucinating.
Randy, I checked Dr. Bloom out myself on my own time.

The guy is clean.

He's got no priors.
He's never been in trouble.

Just wanted you to know
that I took you seriously.

The fact is, I miss you.
I need you.

Well, it's too late.

L- I'm moved on.

I mean,
band's my life now.

You're more than welcome
to come and have a listen if you want.

Come on in. Be my guest.

Have a seat.

Okay. How you doing?

[Man]
Hey.

I should warn you.
You might not like what you hear.

It's pretty powerful stuff.
You might not be able to handle it.

All right,
let's rock it out.

From the top.
A- one, two, three, four.

[Softly]
Five, six, seven, eight.

## [Rock]
#I'm tired of sucking up #

#Well, I'm tired of sucking up
and workin' for the man #

# Keepin' people down
'cause the law book says I can #

# Dropped my brothers and sisters
for it's not the way to be #

# 'Cause those days are gone
and, baby #

# I am free #

# I don't need a badge
to tell me wrong from right #

# I don't need a badge
to tell me day from night #

# I don't need a badge
because my eyes can see #

# I don't need a badge #

# 'Cause, baby, I am free #

## [Ends]
All right.

That was good.
That wasn't too bad.

That was great.

Okay, now before you even
knock on the door,

I want you to douse this handkerchief
with the chloroform, just like this, okay?

About 20 c.c.'s.
And make sure he really inhales it.

I don't know about this.

Well, we have to do it.
There's no choice.

No, no. I know.
I mean, I don't know if 20 c.c.'s is enough.

How do you know
he's gonna talk?

Did you see him?
He couldn't even shake my hand. He was a mess.

Yeah.
You get Adrian Monk in here,

and I'll make him talk.

Neal, your fingerprints
were all over the warehouse and on the armored car.

You could hire
the best lawyer in the city.

He's not gonna make
those fingerprints disappear.

It is all over, and you know it.

Okay.

I was there, but I did-
I didn't do the two guards, man. L-

I tried to stop him.

- Stop who?
- Denny. DennyJardeen.

When the guards fought back,
he went postal, man, and started shootin'.

- Where's the money, Neal?
- Denny's got it.

He's keeping it in a shed
back behind his place until we all split it up.

I got some bad news
for ya, Neal. Denny is dead.

- Denny?
- And there's no money in that little tool shed.

- We've already ripped it apart.
- Ah, that's impossible.

Looks like somebody
in your little sewing circle got greedy.

You can't trust anybody
these days, can you? [Snickers]

[Knocking]

[Knocking]

[Tearfully]
Mr. Monk.

I know it's late.
Can I come in?

Of course. Of course.

Thank you.
[Sobbing]

W-W-What is it?

Lieutenant Disher
was right.

[Sniffs]

Dr. Bloom killed a man
two days ago, and I don't even know who it was.

I mean, I've never
seen him before or anything.

[Sobbing]

I just don't know
where else to go.

[Crying]

Yeah. A-Are you gonna
be crying a lot?

Maybe you wanna
lean over the sink.

No, no. I'm fine.
I'm sorry. I'm just scared to death.

Yeah. I'll call the captain.

No! No. Dr. Bloom
would kill me. You can't.

Oh, it's okay.
The police will protect you.

Oh. What is that?
What? What, what?

I don't know.
What is it?

It's right-
It's something on your face, like a smudge.

Smudge.

Yeah. No. No,
you're not getting it. It's right there.

Did I get it?
No.

Here, I'll do it.
Hold on. Okay.

Did you get it?
Uh-

No?
No. It's right there.

[Muffled]
Chloroform.

You're d-
You're drugging me. Shh.

Just relax.

Did you get it?

[Slurred]
Did I get it?

Did I get it?

Did I get it?

Natalie.
Captain, is Mr. Monk here?

What would Monk be doing here?
I don't even know what I'm doing here.

I called his house to read him
tomorrow's weather report like always, but he didn't answer.

So I go over there. The door's open.
The light's on, but he's not home.

The door was open?

Thank you for waiting.
The doctor will be right with you.

There's... no rush.

## [Humming]

Why are you doing this?

Why are you doing this?

Please.

Please.

What are you gonna do?

I didn't really have a smudge,
did I?

Ooh. You should be flattered.

The doctor doesn't usually
come in this late.

Especially for new patients.

That tooth.

The roots are about-

10 inches apart,
aren't they?

If you say so.

I get it now.
I know what happened.

The drivers fought back
during the hijacking.

DennyJardeen
got hit in the face.

He must have knocked
a tooth loose.

Jardeen came here
to get his tooth fixed.

That makes sense.

He's an ex-cop,
and you're on the medical plan.

He must have talked
in his sleep.

Dr. Bloom
said a lot of patients do.

He told you everything,
about the robbery, where they hid the money.

- It must have been like
winning the lottery. - If you say so.

That night,
you went toJardeen's house,

found the money,
figured it was safe,

that he would never remember
telling you anything.

But you were wrong.

He did remember.

Or maybe when
the money went missing,

he just figured it out.

He came back here Tuesday night
when you were working on Randy.

Randy witnessed
the whole thing, sort of.

He was right
about everything.

Wasn't he?

If you say so.

Hello again, Mr. Monk.

Is it true that you've only
been to the dentist once before? Yeah.

I gather it wasn't
a good experience.

Oh, this will be much worse.

I'm-
I'm a police officer.

Oh, I know that.
That's precisely why you're here.

See, Terri and I,
we have some merchandise that we'd like to sell.

Open, open, open.

Some bank certificates.

Now, there's a man
in Chicago named Mr. Cronin who would like to buy them,

but we're afraid of approaching him
because we don't know if he's being watched by the police.

Now, my question is...

is Mr. Cronin under surveillance?

I don't know.

Have you ever seen the movie
Marathon Man, Mr. Monk?

No. Is it good?
Let's watch. Let's- Let's watch it now.

I'm not much of a movie guy,

but I have some time now.

Who's in it?
Who's in that?

You're not gonna watch it.

You're gonna live it.

Is Mr. Cronin under surveillance?
Yes or no?

I don't know.

I wish I did. L- l-

I really wish I did.
I wish I did.

- Is Mr. Cronin under surveillance?
- No!

[Sobbing]

Is he under surveillance?
Yes. Okay. Yes.

Yes.

We know-We know all about him.

You-You have to be careful.

You should be careful.

Now I really wish I could
believe you, Mr. Monk. [Screams]

[Sobbing]

Your teeth are perfect.

I don't see a single cavity.

[Whimpers]

Is Mr. Cronin under surveillance?

[Whimpers, Mumbles]

He's not saying anything.

Pass me the extractor, please.

[Pinball Machine Dings]

I still don't see what's wrong
with the Randy Disher Project.

I never liked that name.
Even in high school.

[Exhales]
Okay.

Okay. What about
the Randy Disher Experience?

How about Severe Tire Damage?

Okay. How about Mellow Knights
with a "K"?

I gotta say I'm leaning towards
the Randy Disher Experience. How about this?

I'm gonna open up a newspaper...

and the first word I see,

that's our name.

Baghdad.

That's good, actually.
I kinda like that. Baghdad.

Let me see that.

"13 million in bearer bonds stolen."

Bearer bonds. Barry Bonds.

Not Barry Bonds.
They were saying "bearer bonds."

Wait! Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!

Your hands are so dirty.

- Excuse me?
- Could you-

You gotta wash your hands first.

Please. Please.

You want me to wash my hands.
Please.

I'm not gonna wash my hands,
okay? Please.

I'm not washing my hands!
Okay, just hold still. The sink's right over there.

We're not animals here, right?
Please, I'm asking you.

- I'm asking you!
- He did wash his hands in Marathon Man.

Don't give me "In Marathon Man."
I'm not gonna wash my hands when I'm torturing him.

It'll just take one second.
Please. I'm asking you!

Look into your heart.
For the love of God,

by all that's holy,
look into your heart.

Look into your heart.
I'll wash my damn hands, okay?

[Sobs]

Look, the lights are on.

No! That's the wrong soap.

You gotta use
antibacterial soap.

Give me the drill.
Gotta use the right soap.

- This is enough already.
Just give me the drill. - Not that soap!

- [Whirring]
- [Screams, Moans]

- [Door Opens]
- Drop the drill! Step away from the chair!

[Randy]
Don't move, Natalie. Stay there.

- Get over there.
- Down. Down on your knees now. Both of you.

- You okay?
- I don't have my cuffs.

Here.

[Randy]
Your hands. Don't move. Mr. Monk? Oh, God. It's okay.

- Oh, God. It's all over.
- Sorry.

It's all over.

## [Rock]

# I don't need a gun
to make me feel strong #

# I don't need a captain
shoot me down all day long #

# I don't need your mustache
Don't you condescend to me #

# I don't need nobody
'cause, baby, I am free #

# No, I don't need nobody, baby #

# I am free #

## [Ends]

Wow. That had some good energy.

Yeah. A lot of energy.

Let's watch it again some time.

L-l-It doesn't matter.
The band broke up anyway.

We couldn't agree on anything:
Name, what kind of music to play,

or whether or not
I should shut up.

Come here.

I believe this is yours.

Welcome back, Randy.

Welcome back.
You okay?

Mmm. Loose tooth.

Betcha that happened
when they knocked him out.

Oh, my gosh.
You gotta see a dentist.

Mmm. No.

Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
Mr. Monk, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Mmm.
I'll be with you the whole time.

Mm-mmm.
What are the odds of another dentist torturing you?

Let's not talk about it anymore.

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