Mom (2013–…): Season 8, Episode 7 - S'Mores and a Sadness Cocoon - full transcript

Bonnie is upset when Adam makes a big ticket purchase without consulting her. Also, Jill has an unexpected reaction when her dentist retires.

MAN [over TV]: The truth is,
I'm not your father.

- I'm your...
- [drilling]

The truth is,
I'm not your father.

I'm your...

[drilling]

[drilling]

Hey, Corey!

[drilling stops]

You're supposed to be
protecting the building

from earthquakes,
not causing them.

Sorry.



Can you take a break
while I finish

the trashy reality show

I'm too embarrassed
to tell you the name of?

All right, fellas, you heard
the lady. Take a break.

Oh, hang on.

- Okay. Thank you.
- What's that for?

I have to prove
to the building owner

that this work
is finally happening

'cause I said I'd take care
of it six years ago

and three years ago
and last year.

Hey, while I've got you,

can you get the guy with the RV
out of the alley?

I can't get my truck in.

Happy to. Yelling at people's
my favorite sport.



What's that one for?

I want to show you
to my friends.

Yo, dumb-ass!

Move this piece of crap!

Hey.

Oh, great, the dumb-ass
is my husband.

My buddy Jay loaned us his RV.

Spontaneous vacation,
where do you want to go?

Jay's house, to return it.



*MOM*
Season 08 Episode 07

Episode Title:
"S’Mores and a Sadness Cocoon"

Aired on: February 11, 2021
Synchronized by srjanapala

Hi, Wendy.

Hey, Jill.

Hey.

- Hi, Wendy.
- Hi, Bonnie.

Hello, Jill.

[sighs]

It's only a breakup.

Would you stop talking to me
like Neiman Marcus closed?

We're just worried about you.

Well, I'm fine.

Are you?

[sighs]
Yes.

Look, I cried my eyes out
for the first two days,

but then I emerged
from my sadness cocoon

as the butterfly
you see before you.

I unfriended him on Facebook.

I even boxed up
some of his things

and left them at his place
without setting them on fire.

And not just because
he has a Ring camera,

but because I am a happy,
well-adjusted butterfly.

Are you?

Yes.

In fact, I'm in
a great mood today

because I get to go see
my dentist.

You know we can't use
thehappy gas for a cleaning, right?

Or can we? Can we?

Dr. Mekizian is my happy gas.

I used to be super
phobicabout going to the dentist.

It was a really big problem.

I mean, my smile is my third
most attractive attribute.

Unless I'm in Europe,
and then it's my first.

I'm betting he's hot.

No, he's better than hot.

He's comforting.
He's like a teddy bear

or a bowl of spaghetti

or a teddy bear
eating a bowl of spaghetti.

Oh, I just love him
to itty-bitty pieces.

Hey, sorry I'm late,
I was entranced

by the amazing RV
that Adam borrowed.

Yeah. Well, I prefer the phrase
"got stuck with."

Tammy, where are the cookies?
You said you'd bring them.

I was entranced.

Did you know that there's
a dinner table that transforms

into a bed and then back
into a dinner table?

Well, that should lead
to an exciting game

of Guess the Stain.

You know, I've never been
inside of one of those.

What exactly
is the point?

So you can escape to nature

while still destroying
the environment.

Since when did you
careabout the environment?

Since Adam asked me to hop
into that rolling dumpster

and drive around for a week.

As someone who's
lived in my car,

that will never feel
like a vacation.

You know, it wouldn't kill you
to give it a try.

You know what, I
will give it a try

and I hope it does kill me
so I can rub it in your face.

Hey, Jill, how you doing?

- Careful, she hates sad voice.
- Oh, Tammy,

you're so sweet
for asking.

Ground control to Jill.

Is that you, Jill?

You got other patients
who get decked out like this?

I do not.

But I'm always impressed by the
things you think of to bring.

The blanket is to keep me
warm and calm,

the mask is 'cause the light
is bright

and the earphones are so
I don't hear the scraping

- and the drilling.
- And the drilling. I know.

But I still think it's 'cause
you don't want to hear my jokes.

Oh.
[laughs]

How you been, kiddo?

Oh, I've been better.

My boyfriend and I
just broke up.

Well, in my professional
opinion, that's his floss.

[laughs]

Thanks.

No, I'm serious.
Who's his dentist?

I make one phone call
and he eats through a straw.

- You're the best.
- [laughs]

Oh. Now remember,
I make a lot of faces,

but I'm only in pain
if I raise my hand.

Right hand is pain,
left hand is question.

All right, let's get
that dazzling smile

ready for the next guy.

Oh.

Question?

Um, how long do you think
it'll be till I meet him?

[chuckles]

What do you think so far?

Well, we've only been driving
for seven minutes,

and most of that was you
backing out of the alley,

but... yes, good times.

I'm glad you're
giving this a shot.

Yeah, it was all my idea.

No one had to talk me
into it.

So where are we headed?

That's the best part.
Anywhere, U.S.A.

I agreed to one night,

so make it Anywhere,
our zip code.

Isn't this great?
Normally when you travel

it's all a hassle till
you get to your destination,

but with an RV, the party
starts when you turn the key.

Cute rhymes don't make it smell

any less like bowling shoes
in here.

Just sit back and
take in the sights.

Home Depot. Target.
McDonald's.

I do love the open road.

Hey, do you want
to make popcorn?

- While we're driving?
- That's the magic

of the mobile home.

You can watch TV,
play a board game,

iron a shirt.

You can use the toilet,
which, by the way,

turns into a shower.

You can take a shower.

These are all things
we can do at home.

Yeah, but when you're done,
you're still at home.

Here, by the time you dry off,
we're eight, ten miles away.

[chuckles]
You're cute

when you're filled
with inexplicable enthusiasm.

Lorena, can I please
get a purple toothbrush?

And maybe some mint floss?

Cinnamon gives me
the heebie-jeebies.

Thank you.

Hmm. Y'all doing
some remodeling?

That's good, 'cause I was
gonna say something.

The new dentist just wants
to open up the space a little.

Oh, is Dr. Mekizian
getting a partner?

No, the new guy's
taking over the practice.

Uh, where's Dr. Mekizian going?

I'm not supposed
to say anything.

Okay, well, it's too late.

He's retiring.

Like, he's not gonna be seeing
patients anymore?

Am-am I one of the patients

he's not gonna
be seeing anymore?

It's not for three months.

But I only come
every six months.

You know that, Lorena!

I mean,

I have waited for a dentist
I could love

my entire life
and now-now he's abandoning me?

I'm sorry, I don't mean
to be taking it out on you,

it's just, I get excited
when I see those postcards.

I look forward to
coming here.

And I just can't believe
that was my last

"How you been, kiddo?"

What's going on?

You are not allowed to retire.

You make me feel safe.

[crying]

And I don't think
I've ever told you this,

but I've put you
as my emergency contact

in every doctor's office,
including this one.

Jill...

I'm sorry.
I was gonna send a letter.

A letter?
Why don't you just send a text

saying, "Your cavities
are no longer my problem"?

This isn't how I wanted you
to find out.

It's time for me
to hang it up.

My wife and I want to travel.

Well, can I come with you?

You outdid yourself
with those steaks.

D-3.

Thank you.
Hit.

E-4.

- Miss.
- D-2.

Hit.
You know, the kid on this box

is probably older
than us right now.

B-6.

Miss.
I'm guessing he's dead.

I mean, child model?
What good could come from that?

D-5.

Hit.
You sunk my battleship![laughs]

How are you killing me
at this game?

I was born
with a strategic mind.

Also, I can see
all of your boats

in that gigantic
side-view mirror.

I'm craving s'mores
all of a sudden.

Yes, I knew that would happen.

Look what I brought.

- You didn't.
- I did. And...

a book of ghost stories.

Scary or sexy?

I've never heard
a sexy ghost story.

We traced the call.

[whispers]: It's coming
from inside your pants.

You were right.

Everything is
better in an RV.

Told you.

[laughs]

You got marshm
allow in my hair.

Huh. We could take
a toilet-shower together.

Not something
I ever thought I'd say,

but I'm looking forward
to it.

[banging on door]

MAN:
Police, open up.

Ten bucks he thinks
we're cooking meth in here.

Not a bad Plan B,
by the way.

Evening, officer.

This is private property.
You can't park your RV here.

Okay, tell that to the guy
sleeping in the table,

'cause he said when
you're in one of these things,

the world is
your hotel room.

Look at me, driving home
in my sex sheet.

'Cause I'm in my bedroom,
living room and car

all at the same time.

I can't believe
we got a ticket

and you're still
in a great mood.

We made the RV sexy,
but the cop made it dangerous.

I take back every bad word

I said about this thing.
You mean that?

I do.
I'm really enjoying this.

Glad to hear it,
'cause we own this bad boy.

- What?
- I-I bought the RV.

Uh, you-you dropped
your sheet.

[grunting, groaning]

- Hey!
- What... Take it easy back there.

Why? If we break it,
we already bought it.

I mean, you already bought it
without talking to me.

You did that on purpose.

I can't get back to our place
without making a turn.

Well, give me
a little warning next time,

like you didn't
when you bought this thing.

I'm sorry.
What can I say?

You know how hard it is
to find an RV

that's tricked out
for a guy in a wheelchair?

You know how easy it is
to pick up the phone

and say, "Hey, honey,
I'm about to spend..."

Wh-What did this cost?

I got a great deal.

It just won't sound like it.

[scoffs, groans]

May I remind you that ten
minutes ago you were Team RV?

- Right turn.
- [yelps, screams]

You know what?

- I changed my mind.
- [brakes squealing]

I'm glad you bought this thing,
'cause now you live in it.

Well...
[sighs]

Well, we knew it would
come to this one day.

Who do you want
to live with?

Traitor.



How do I move on
from Dr. Mekizian?

I mean, he accepted me
for who I am:

A woman who requires
a blanket, an eye mask

and incense
for a routine checkup.

Are you sure he's retiring
and not just hiding from you?

Are you sure Victor's dead
and not just hiding from you?

Yes.

Hey, is Bonnie coming back,
or is her pickle in play?

Take her pickle
at your own risk.

That's what they used to say
to me in prison.

Guys, I think
I'm gonna kill someone.

I was just making sure
they gave you a crispy one.

Unbelievable.
Adam bought that RV,

and now our insurance
is going up

and we have to
pay to park it.

There's a parking lot
right next to the hospital

that has really good
monthly rates.

I'm enjoying being
in the right.

Please don't give
me solutions.

Adam's my buddy,

but he really screwed the pooch
with this one.

You see, Wendy?
That's what you do.

You feed the fire.

Isn't this the same
exact thing he did

when he bought the bar?

Why, yes, it is, Jill.

I was just reminding him
of that on the phone.

Again, this is what
I'm looking for.

Careful, Bonnie. Sometimes,
when we're in the right

and we handle it poorly,
we're not in the right anymore.

And here's Old Mother Hubbard
to take a whiz on my flames.

I'm just saying
that justified anger

can be dangerous, because
we often take it too far.

Are you even listening to me?

Sorry, I'm just seeing
if the insurance

would cover us if the RV
accidentally caught fire.

What? Adam
wouldn't be in it.

I'm going to the grocery store.

Could you please, uh,
move your house?

Not a problem.

While you're there,
can you grab me some eggs?

Nope.

Are we ever gonna
talk about this?

Nope.

Good day.

So, all we have to do
is to reinforce this area.

And we may have to move
these pipes.

Yes! He's open!
Go, go, go!

Sounds like a good plan, Corey.

What the hell?

4:00, right on time.
Hey, buddy.

You have him till 6:00.

Don't let him fill up on treats,

'cause he's having dinner
with me.

You're not handling this
well.

I know.

What if I give you money?

Jill.

Not like a gift.
Like an investment.

A cash infusion,
they call it on CNBC.

It's not about the money.

What if we just
meet up twice a year?

There must be a dentist office
you can rent by the hour.

I don't think that'd be fair
to my other patients.

Fine. What if I have you over
for dinner every six months,

and if the conversation
leads us to a room in my house

that has a dental chair,
whatever happens happens.

Do you have a dental chair?

Well, I've narrowed it down
to three.

I'll send you a link
to my Amazon cart.

I should have known you weren't
gonna take this news easily.

Yeah, you should have.

I'm sorry it's hard,
but I am retiring.

So you're just gonna

hang up your saliva vacuum
and leave me?

[chuckles] Dr. Segal will be
taking on all of my patients.

You'll be
in excellent hands.

So this is it?

It's over?

It is.

Well...

if it's really over...

And it is.

Then I...
I want to say thank you.

I'm gonna try to get
through this without crying.

I know that I can be

a bit needy sometimes.

I guess that's
one of the big reasons

why Andy broke up
with me.

But you, um...

you never made me feel
like I was too much.

There.
I made it.

Jill, some people

might call you
high-maintenance.

But I think you're someone

who knows what she wants
and how to ask for it.

Exactly. And then you don't
have to guess what I want,

which actually makes me
low-maintenance.

I wouldn't go that far.

[both chuckling]

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you, too, kiddo.

Can I hug you?

Well, I'm gonna need to call
Lorena in, but...

yes.

[power tools whirring outside]

[loud whirring and grinding]

Damn it, Corey.

- Hey, Cor?
- Yeah?

What's the deal
with the water?

I had to shut it off.

Should be back on
by tonight.

Okey doke.
Have a super day.

[knocking]

Good morning.

The water's shut off.

I need coffee
and the bathroom.

After punishing me all week,
you're gonna ask for a favor?

It's not a favor.

I own half of this thing,
and I've decided

it's the half with the coffee
and the potty-shower.

And if I say no?

I will have you towed.

- Come on in.
- Good call.

I'm glad you're here.

I really wanted
to talk to you.

What'd you buy now?

A boat?
Space shuttle?

Papa John's franchise?

Yeah, I get why
you think I might.

That is a messed-up thing

I seem to do
every now and again,

and I'm very, very
sorry.

This coffee is terrible.
Go on.

When I bought the bar
without discussing it with you,

I promised you and myself

that I would never
do anything like that again,

but I did, and...

...it was disrespectful to you
and our marriage.

So why the hell
do you keep doing it?

Well, that part's
a little trickier to talk about.

I feel like...

[sighs]

There are times where...

You know when
two people are in a canoe?

Spit it out!

Sometimes,
when I want something,

I-I'm afraid to run it by you

because you'll just
shoot it down.

It's just easier
to get what I want

and deal with the fallout later.

Well, that is
manipulative, immature

and probably how
I'd handle me, too.

But in my defense,

we are having an adult
conversation now.

Yeah, but it took seven days.

Meanwhile, I'm living in
an alley, sneaking in the house

in the middle of the night
to get clean underwear.

I knew it. I saw fresh
wheel tracks on the rug.

Look, I know I said this before,
but this time, I mean it.

This will not happen again.

It better not,

because three strikes,
you're out, buddy.

Does that work both ways?

Forget the strikes.
Just don't do it again.

I promise.

And I promise

that if you come to me
with something that you want,

I will hear you out,
even if it's stupid.

Well, I'm a guy.
Everything I want is stupid.

Well, everything except you.

I'm sorry for punishing
you all week.

I guess I just found
it hard to forgive you

for something you'd
already done before.

Isn't that
what marriage is...

Mistakes, apologies
and what's for dinner?

What is for dinner?

- How about we figure outbreakfast first?
- [chuckles]

I have an idea.

You drive us to Denny's
while I brush my teeth.

And I'm paying 'cause I
snuck in here last night

and stole all your cash.

I knew it!

Mm. Well, this is
a living nightmare.

That was my first reaction,
too,

but the longer we have it,
the more I love it.

You just like saying
you have a second home.

I do. It can be a beach house
or a mountain chalet,

as long as the roads leading
to those places are wide enough.

Sorry, I still
don't get it.

- Check it out.
- Everything in here

turns into something else.

Mm.

Well, unless it turns into

a room at the Four Seasons,
mm-mmm.

I bet at the Four Seasons
the table isn't also a bed.

Hmm.

Ow!

[gasps] Jill!

I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?

It's bad, isn't it?

Very bad.

Yes! I get to see my
dentist one last time!

[laughs]

Synchronized by srjanapala