Mom (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 20 - Ocular Fluid and Fighting Robots - full transcript
Christy's sponsor challenges her to be nice to Bonnie at all costs, and Bonnie is convinced that Adam has stopped making an effort.
All right,
we're off to the meeting.
Have fun or cry,
or whatever you guys do.
I have fun making other people cry.
- Did you find your keys yet?
- Oh, yeah. Ten minutes ago.
Now I'm just crawling
around looking for snacks.
I told you a million times,
- if you put your keys in the same...
- Bup-bup-bup.
Maybe I left them upstairs.
At some point tonight,
between hockey fights,
could you throw away
your tuna sandwich
that's been sitting there since lunch?
- I'll get to it.
- Will you, though?
'Cause "I'll get to it" has
kind of been your motto lately,
only things
never actually get got to.
If it bothers you so
much, why don't you do it?
'Cause I told you to do it.
I was
actually gonna do it,
but... you just made it
a thing.
It's only a thing
'cause you made it a thing,
thing maker.
Couldn't find them.
I promise I will put everything
back in the closet
when we get home.
Better do it right away,
or it could become a thing.
Mom, can you just drive?
Unbelievable... you can't
keep track of your keys,
so I get inconvenienced.
Oh, look... I found your keys.
Why do you have them?
I borrowed your car
to go to the store
when I couldn't
find my keys. Anyway...
you drive.
Oh, and you're on empty.
- I'll try not to kill her.
- Whatever happens, happens.
Nice work...
You made us late
and now Wendy's in my seat.
- It's not your seat.
- Yeah, not today, thanks to you.
I need my sponsor.
I need my sponsor.
You will never guess
what my mother just did.
You do realize that's
how you say hello.
- I'm sorry. Hello.
- Hi.
You will never guess
what my mother just did.
Instead of diving into that
all-too-familiar pool of resentment,
let me ask you something.
You're 40 years old, right?
Not on Tinder.
- You have a... a job?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
And your mother drives
you absolutely bananas.
- Oh, yeah.
- So why do you still live with her?
Wendy, I think you're
sitting on something.
- Oh, what?
- My chair.
Did you see
what your mother just did?
I know. Why the hell do
I still live with her?
*MOM*
Season 05 Episode 20
Episode Title :
"Ocular Fluid and Fighting Robots"
Ad --->
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we're off to the meeting.
Have fun or cry,
or whatever you guys do.
I have fun making other people cry.
- Did you find your keys yet?
- Oh, yeah. Ten minutes ago.
Now I'm just crawling
around looking for snacks.
I told you a million times,
- if you put your keys in the same...
- Bup-bup-bup.
Maybe I left them upstairs.
At some point tonight,
between hockey fights,
could you throw away
your tuna sandwich
that's been sitting there since lunch?
- I'll get to it.
- Will you, though?
'Cause "I'll get to it" has
kind of been your motto lately,
only things
never actually get got to.
If it bothers you so
much, why don't you do it?
'Cause I told you to do it.
I was
actually gonna do it,
but... you just made it
a thing.
It's only a thing
'cause you made it a thing,
thing maker.
Couldn't find them.
I promise I will put everything
back in the closet
when we get home.
Better do it right away,
or it could become a thing.
Mom, can you just drive?
Unbelievable... you can't
keep track of your keys,
so I get inconvenienced.
Oh, look... I found your keys.
Why do you have them?
I borrowed your car
to go to the store
when I couldn't
find my keys. Anyway...
you drive.
Oh, and you're on empty.
- I'll try not to kill her.
- Whatever happens, happens.
Nice work...
You made us late
and now Wendy's in my seat.
- It's not your seat.
- Yeah, not today, thanks to you.
I need my sponsor.
I need my sponsor.
You will never guess
what my mother just did.
You do realize that's
how you say hello.
- I'm sorry. Hello.
- Hi.
You will never guess
what my mother just did.
Instead of diving into that
all-too-familiar pool of resentment,
let me ask you something.
You're 40 years old, right?
Not on Tinder.
- You have a... a job?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
And your mother drives
you absolutely bananas.
- Oh, yeah.
- So why do you still live with her?
Wendy, I think you're
sitting on something.
- Oh, what?
- My chair.
Did you see
what your mother just did?
I know. Why the hell do
I still live with her?
*MOM*
Season 05 Episode 20
Episode Title :
"Ocular Fluid and Fighting Robots"
Ad --->
Ad