Mom (2013–…): Season 4, Episode 10 - A Safe Word and a Rib Eye - full transcript

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about
it before the meeting tomorrow.

I got to go.

- Who was that?
- Marjorie.

- You called her?
- She called me.

Why would she call you?

She's having some problems with Victor.

Oh, God. What?

As it turns out, he
has some sexual needs

that are causing her
to reevaluate some...

long-held beliefs.

Okay. Heard enough.



Yeah. I suggested some breathing
exercises that might relax her.

Please stop.

Oh, I also told her she
needed a safe word.

Good night, Mom.

Wait a minute.

Marjorie doesn't call you about sex.

You guys are throwing me a
surprise party, aren't you?

What?

No.

Come on, my birthday's on Saturday.

You and the girls have been

whispering around me the past few days.

Well, if you must know, we've been
whispering about your haircut.

We were gonna loop you
in once it grew out.



What's wrong with my haircut?

You look like a woman playing
a small boy in a play.

Nice try.

You're throwing me a party.

Just so you know, I'm working Saturday
night, so it would have to be Friday.

And I love karaoke and taco bars.

Oh, and don't let Marjorie make
her German chocolate cake.

The Berlin Wall went down easier.

- Jill's pregnant.
- What?

Two months... that's what
we've been whispering about.

Wait.

- Everyone knows except me?
- She told us not to tell you.

- Why are you telling me now?
- Because I want to go to sleep.

I can't believe she's freezing me out.

Well, she probably took it
personally when you told her

she wouldn't be a good mother.

She wouldn't and you know it.

Yeah, but I didn't say it to her face
in a fertility clinic five minutes

before she had her eggs extracted.

Was I supposed to wait till the
doctor greased up the speculum?

Ugh!

You know I hate that word.

And what did she think,
that I wasn't gonna notice

when she started showing?

No. But she's really happy right now, and
she didn't want you to ruin her joy.

Wait till she's up all night
with a screaming baby,

that's what'll ruin her joy.

Yeah. And that right there is why you

won't be getting an invite
to the baby shower,

which will be here, so
make yourself scarce.

You know what? I don't care.

Let her have a baby. Hope
it all works out great.

None of my business.

Night.

Night.

Oh. I just realized what I can get
you for your birthday... a hat.

I for one am glad you told Christy.

I'm not comfortable lying to people.

That's 'cause you don't do it enough.
It's a muscle, you got to work it.

She actually thought all the whispering

was us planning her
surprise birthday party.

Oh, that's right, it's her
birthday this weekend.

Hey, how about we really do
throw her a surprise party?

Oh, that's a great idea. I can
make my German chocolate cake.

Oh! It is Christy's favorite.

Good.

Wait, I don't know if you're
telling the truth or not.

And that's what makes me the most
interesting person at this table.

Shh.

You don't have to "Shh" anymore.

I know Jill's pregnant.
And you hate my hair.

We don't hate it, we're just
afraid you were drinking again.

Christy, why don't you reach
out to Jill and make up?

I tried. You saw.

I mean, how many times
do you have to apologize

for telling somebody that
they're an entitled princess

who has no clue how to raise a child?

I'm gonna go with 23.

It's like when your friend
breaks up with a guy,

and you tell her that you
always hated him and then

they end up getting married.
What do you do?

You show up, you throw
rice, you move on.

Actually, you're not supposed
to throw rice anymore.

The birds choke on it.

Good, Wendy. You got the
point she was making.

Christy, the baby train
is leaving the station.

- You need to hop on board.
- Hey, you got the hat for it.

But why do I have to be
the one to apologize?

She said I was a lousy mother.

I've met your kids. She's not wrong.

What are you gonna do, stay
angry at Jill forever?

Which forces us all to choose sides.

Choose sides? You're my mother.

Yeah, but she's got a lot of
money and I can be bought.

- Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.
- Hi, Jill.

Well, let's see, things have been
going pretty good the last few weeks.

Um, finally finished the
remodel of my master bathroom,

so my marble nightmare is over.

We all know how good that feels.

Let's see, what else?

Um...

Oh, I can't keep a secret. I'm pregnant.
I'm gonna have a baby!

It's a little early to talk about it, but
I'm just so thrilled and I didn't want

y'all thinking I'm turning into a fatty.

No.

It's crazy how much I
love this little biscuit

cooking inside me, and I
just can't wait for her

to get here and start loving me back.

I'm gonna dress her up, and
take her on long walks,

and play in the park...

You realize she could be
talking about a Chihuahua.

I'd be lying if I said doing
this on my own wasn't scary.

But ever since I've been sober, I've
never had to do anything alone.

And I think it's gonna be
the same way with this.

So... thank you.

Oh!

And spread the word...
baby bump, not muffin top.

Would anyone else like to share?

I'll go.

Hi. I'm Wendy, and I'm an alcoholic...

- I'm really happy for you.
- Hi, Wendy.

I know I'm not
supposed to crosstalk, but...

One down, 22 to go.

- What do you think?
- Oh, Jill, it's beautiful.

This is nicer than my house.

Well, I should hope so.

What's a nursery without
a crystal chandelier?

I know, right?

My daughter will never have to know
the horrors of recessed lighting.

- Oh, my stork alert.
- "Stork alert"?

Yeah. It's this app I signed up for.

It sends me texts to tell me
about my baby's progress.

Day 54... she's a little
bigger than a blueberry.

Hey, I had some of your babies on
my Rice Krispies this morning.

Bonnie, just because you think it,
doesn't mean you have to say it.

Can you guess what I'm
thinking right now?

It's okay, Marjorie.
Nothing can bring me down.

Look at me, I'm glowing, and I
didn't even get my peel this week.

Since you're in such a good mood, why
don't you come to my house Friday night,

we're having a little party.

Oh, we love parties. Don't we, princess?

- Yeah, it's for Christy's birthday.
- We're busy.

She's hating for two, now.

Come on, Jill.

You guys have been best
friends for so long.

Yeah, well, not anymore.
Friends support each other.

As far as I'm concerned,
she's dead to me.

And when someone's dead to me, I
don't go to their birthday parties,

because, you know, they're dead.

♪ We are never, ever ♪

♪ Ever getting back together ♪

Hey!

Sorry, you're making my teeth hurt.

Come on, help me with these balloons.

I was better at karaoke
when I was drinking.

I wasn't there, but no you weren't.

- Oh, God. Surprise!
- Calm down, it's just me.

Welcome
to the party, Marjorie!

Ready to get freaky?

Lovely. I made my German chocolate cake.

Christy's gonna be so excited!

It's Jill.

Oh, I hope she changed
her mind about coming.

Hi, honey, what's going on?

If you ever want to tie
something to your ankle

when you jump off a bridge...

Oh, my God, you guys!

You guys?

Hello?

Ugh...

- Yeah. Christy?
- Mom, it's me.

What's going on? Where is everybody?

Oh honey, I'm sorry. We had
to run over to Jill's.

I've got really bad news.

- What happened?
- She lost the baby.

She won't eat.

- Did she see I put bacon on it?
- I don't know.

Well, all right, give it here.
I'll eat it.

It's a sin to waste bacon.

This is just heartbreaking.

It is.

But Jill's been through a lot in
her life, she'll get through this.

And she'll get through it sober.

It's kind of a shame. The doctor
gave her some quality narcotics.

"Kind of a shame"?

Yeah, she can't take 'em and
you won't let me sell 'em.

Right?

Eat your bacon.

Hello? Mom? Anybody?

In here.

- How's she doing?
- Not good.

What happened?

Apparently she had a routine
checkup with her doctor,

and they couldn't find the heartbeat.

I want to see her.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

Mom, we had a fight.
Friends fight sometimes.

- I'll bring her some tea.
- That's mine, but okay.

Hey, can I come in?

What are you doing here?

I'm your friend. I love you.

Just go away.

Jill, please, just give me a minute.

I brought tea.

I don't want tea.

Okay, well, I'll just put...

are you a coaster person?

Just put it down.

I want you to know how sorry I am.

Why would you be sorry?

You didn't want me to have
this baby in the first place.

Well, you win.

Oh, my God, Jill.

I would never want this to happen.

Just get out.

Jill, please.

Get out!

I can't tell her "I told you
so," but you guys know.

She hates me.

Honey, she's just been through a lot

and she's taking it out on you.

Why don't you go home,
give her some space?

We're gonna stay and keep an eye on her.

Okay.

Call me if you need anything.

Actually, since you're going home,

could you bring back my swimsuit?

Are you kidding?

You're right, I can swim naked.

It's just us gals.

That is the saddest birthday ever.

For Christy?

Not even top five.

Hi, I'm Christy, I'm an alcoholic.

Hi, Christy.

I don't usually go to midnight meetings.

I'm usually asleep.

Nice to know you can do both.

Thing is I don't even want
to be here right now.

I'd rather be comforting my
friend who's in a lot of pain,

but she doesn't want me around

'cause I told her the truth.

Well, I thought it was the truth.

I guess it might've
just been my opinion.

Oh, God.

I've turned into that
obnoxious sober person

who tells everybody how
to live their life.

Meanwhile I'm wearing this stupid hat

'cause I thought I could
give myself a haircut.

Anyway, it's my birthday

and if anybody's hungry,

there's 25 pounds of
German chocolate brick

on the table.

Thanks.

Don't clap, I don't want to wake him.

Hey.

Hey.

Should you be out of bed?

No, but...

I wanted to try being
sad in another room.

What you doing?

Just having a late night snack.

I wasn't even hungry,

but I saw you had the rib
eye and the indoor grill.

- What's that?
- Oh.

Some folks from the meeting sent it

to congratulate you.

Let me just make it go... away.

There, it's gone.

Why'd I tell everyone at the
meeting I was pregnant?

It's okay.

You were excited.

But now everybody's
gonna want to hug me,

and tell me how their sister or
their cousin had a miscarriage.

Yeah, well, that's the
problem with support groups.

People will try to support you.

Everybody's gonna be thinking,

"Oh, poor Jill, she has
perfect cheek bones,

but she'll never be a mom."

Why never?

I don't know.

Doesn't seem like it's in the cards.

I just keep feeling
like I'm being punished

for all the things I
did wrong in my life.

Oh, come on, if you had to be
a good person to have a baby,

I wouldn't have Christy.

Can we not talk about her right now?

Of course.

But one thing.

I know she really hurt your
feelings when she said

you might not make the best mother,

but that wasn't about you.

It was about me.

Really?

I mean, in case you haven't been
listening the past few years,

I was a really lousy mother.

So, what, she gets to take it out on me?

Oh, she takes it out on everyone.

We were at the movies once,

and she flipped out on a
mom who bought her kid

one of those giant sodas.

That's bad? Apparently.

Maybe the reason that
I was so upset is...

there's a little part of me
that's afraid she was right.

She doesn't know.

I grew up bouncing from one
foster home to another.

I thought anyone who
didn't smack me around

was mother of the year.

Oh, my God.

The only thing I know for sure is that

if you had a baby, you
would love it like crazy.

And that's all that matters.

When did you become
the strong, supportive one?

Meat gives me strength.

You sure you won't come down
and have breakfast with us?

I'm okay.

Bonnie grilled me up

some sea bass last night.

Hi.

It's me, your favorite person.

Hi.

Can I come in?

Yeah, sure.

I'll go see if Bonnie's out of the pool.

She's not.

You might want to bring her a robe.

I hope you understand when
I said the things I said,

it was because you were in a dark place,

and I was worried you were
trying to get pregnant

for the wrong reasons.

But I never should've said

you weren't cut out to be a mother.

I'm sorry.

I had no right to tell you
how to live your life.

Thank you.

And I really miss being your friend.

I miss you, too.

It's my baby app.

Today would've been day 57.

Oh.

- Sorry I'm late.
- It's okay.

How'd it go at the doctor's?

Fine, he said that I could

start trying to get pregnant
again if I want to.

Oh, that's great news.

Jill, I would really love another chance

to be your pregnancy partner.

That's sweet, but no.

I thought we were good.

We are.

I've just decided not to try again.

You don't want to be a mom anymore?

No, I do, but, um...

I think I'm gonna do it another way.

I'm gonna foster a child.

Jill, that's wonderful.

- I love that. - Really?
- That's great.

Yeah, well, Bonnie was telling me

about what a rough time she had
and how there's all these kids

who bounce around the system.

And I can't think of anything better

than to be able to give
one of them a good home.

That's gonna be one lucky kid.

Hold up, just to be
clear, something I said

changed the course of
your life for the better?

Yeah, feels like it.

Are you listening to this?

I heard.

So we all agree,

I'm our new leader.

First order of business, what are
we gonna do about Christy's hair?