Mom (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 11 - Three Smiles and an Unpainted Ceiling - full transcript
The Plunkett household is rocked by an unexpected death.
(laughs): Wow.
- That was incredible.
- Yeah.
Do you know a good house painter?
Really? That's what you think
about after we make love?
What do you mean, "after"?
Hey!
What? I finished early,
I had time to kill.
Anyway, there's a vacancy
in our building,
and I need to give it a
new coat before I rent it.
Oh, is it a nice place?
Very nice. Got a view of the park.
Hmm.
"Hmm" what?
Just thinking.
My lease is up here.
Oh, Alvin, that's a big think.
You'd be right across
the courtyard from me.
We'd basically be living together.
I'm okay with that.
Are you?
Bonnie?
Give me a minute... I'm trying
to decide if I can do better.
Whore.
Oh, good, you're awake.
Can we talk?
Yeah.
What's going on?
You know the vacancy
that just opened up?
Yeah.
How would you feel about
your father moving into it?
Are you kidding?
- It was his idea.
- Really?
Well, I had just put the second
of three smiles on his face.
Three?
Well, okay, the third
was when I told him
he could take a nap.
Still, you got to take it easy on him.
The man had a heart
attack a few months ago.
The doctors gave him
a clean bill of health,
not to mention I do all the work.
So what do you say?
I don't want him moving in over there
unless you're comfortable with it.
Of course I'm comfortable.
Having my parents together for
the first time in my life?
My children getting to
know their grandfather.
Wait. You think you guys will get married?
Who knows, but whatever happens,
you'll always be our little bastard.
Aw, Mommy.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Now I don't want to rush you,
but several of the other
men I'm sleeping with
have expressed interest.
Yes, well, I can't make a decision
until I talk it over with my girlfriend.
What do you say, dollface?
I say take it, baby, just stay
away from the building manager.
That dame's trouble.
Oh!
I so get why I'm cute.
It's in my DNA.
I'm gonna need some help
furnishing this place.
Oh, no,
I'm not falling for that trap.
You're always complaining
about how your ex-wife
made you feel like a guest
in your own home.
This is gonna be your place.
You should decorate it
exactly the way you want.
Oh. Okay.
I've always wanted, uh,
one of those leather reclining couches.
- Oh, my God, with the cup holders?
- Yes!
That's so not gonna happen.
Come on, let me show you
what you're thinking
about for the kitchen.
So friggin' cute.
Wait, so you're gonna live
right across the courtyard?
Yep.
So we get to see you every day?
If you want to.
In fact, I got you a walkie-talkie
so you can call your old
grandpa anytime you want.
Why can't I use a phone?
You can, but the walkie is so cool.
Can you text on it?
Thank your grandpa.
Thanks, Grandpa.
We just want you both to
know that your grandparents
are gonna be here whenever you need us.
Hugs and cookies...
money.
Why don't I use some of that money
to take you all out to dinner.
Roscoe, you like pizza?
I love pizza.
All right, go put your shoes on.
If you don't mind, I have other plans.
Oh, come on, Violet.
This is kind of a big deal.
Can't you spare a couple hours?
He's gonna live, like, 20 feet away.
Why can't I have pizza
with him another night?
As you can see, ornery
bitch runs in the family.
It's actually on our crest.
Wow, look at this!
Do you like it?
I do.
Oh, good, 'cause I
really tried to make it
how you like it but, you know, nice.
I love it.
And I put all your clothes away,
except for the ugly
stuff, which I donated.
You did great.
Thank you.
Oh, here's your credit card.
Be gentle with it; I rode it pretty hard.
Why don't you keep it.
Seriously?
Yeah, I want you to have it.
I love you.
Alvin, I don't need your
card to prove you love me.
I already memorized the number.
Come with me.
Whatever you say, 5471640...
ROSCOE (over walkie-talkie):
Roscoe-one for Grandpa.
Come in, Grandpa.
This is gonna get old real quick.
Grandpa-one for Roscoe.
Go ahead, Roscoe.
What you doing?
I... was actually about
to go to sleep, buddy.
At 7:00?
That's midnight for old folks.
Okay, sweet dreams.
Tell Grandma I say hi.
- I think he's onto us.
- (laughs)
That was very cute.
I can't wait for him to meet my boys.
Why don't we have
them over for dinner?
I'd like that.
My ex-wife wouldn't.
Then let's have them over very soon.
(laughs)
Where were we?
Well, according to the scoreboard,
it's Alvin one, Bonnie nothing.
Oh, well, then it's time for
me to get on the mound.
Play ball!
Ooh...
(laughing)
Okay.
Whatever you're doing is very subtle.
Alvin?
If you fell asleep, I will
never talk to you again.
♪ I got my own bed, I got my own bed ♪
♪ It totally mine, it's no one else's ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, got my own... ♪
BONNIE (shouting): Alvin!
Oh, my God, Alvin!
Oh, man.
Am I gonna have to
hear this every night?
BONNIE: Christy!
Odd choice.
Christy, help!
Oh, God.
Mom?
BONNIE: In here.
What?
He's dead.
What?
He died. Alvin died.
No. No, no, no, no.
I checked already. He's gone.
Stop saying that.
Yeah, I think my father
had a heart attack.
No, he's not moving.
Thank you. Hurry.
He's gonna be okay.
(walkie-talkie chirps)
CHRISTY: Yeah, hi.
This is Christy Plunkett.
Roscoe's mom.
I'm gonna be keeping him home today.
No, no, no, um, not sick.
He lost his grandpa.
Thank you.
Um, we're gonna need
a couple of days here.
Great, I'll pick up his homework.
You know, if you want
to watch TV, it's okay.
I don't.
Video game?
(sighs)
We'll get through this.
VIOLET: Mom?
Be right back.
Yeah?
I'm so sorry.
What are you sorry about, honey?
I blew him off.
He wanted to take me out to dinner,
and I didn't have time for him.
Oh, Violet.
There's no way anybody
could see this coming.
But I was so selfish.
Yeah, well.
Yeah.
How do I live with that?
I don't know, baby.
Stop being selfish?
BONNIE (calling out): Christy?
I'll be right back.
What's... going on?
- I have nothing to wear to this funeral.
- What?
I mean, I have a gray dress,
but I really should wear black.
We need to go shopping.
Yeah, before we do that,
I... need to talk to you about something.
I spoke to Alvin's ex-wife this morning.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's pretty upset,
as you can imagine.
I mean, her ex dying in bed with...
you.
Doing what I get the feeling
he didn't do very often for her.
It was never really his home run swing,
but he brought a lot
of enthusiasm to it.
Right.
So here's the thing.
She doesn't want us to
come to the funeral.
What?
Her sons will be there,
you know, her parents, friends.
It's kinda understandable.
No, it's not.
We lost him, too.
I know, but we can find a way
to pay our respects some other time.
No.
That's not happening.
What does that mean?
That means I'm gonna have a
little chat with the widow.
If I'm not back by dinner,
call the bail bondsman.
His number's on the fridge.
No, no-no-no, no.
- Let go!
- No!
- Suit yourself.
- No! No, no, no, no.
No, no.
- Thanks, sweetie.
- CHRISTY: Please!
I'm begging you!
What's going on?
Help me. She's crackhead strong.
Roscoe, take that to the kitchen.
Get out of my way, old woman.
Not till you tell me where you're going.
Don't worry about it, I'm just gonna go
smack the snot out of Alvin's ex-wife.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Oh, yeah, you gonna stop me?
Now get the hell out of my way.
Ow.
Sit down.
I wish I knew it was that easy.
Bonnie...
listen to me.
I know this is very
hard for you right now,
but you're not alone.
You got a lot of people who love you
and will help you through this.
You hit me.
Yeah, and I'll do it again.
Christy, how are you doing?
I don't know.
I don't have time for how I'm doing.
I think the three of us
should go to a meeting.
That's a great idea.
Mom?
Fine.
Violet, we're gonna go
out for a little while!
Watch Roscoe!
- VIOLET: Do I have to?
- Yes!
And we're back to selfish.
I'm gonna tell everybody you hit me.
I'll probably get a standing ovation.
Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic.
OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.
I don't even know where to start.
(softly): It's okay.
Okay.
There's this guy...
...I used to love,
and he burned me pretty bad.
And for a long time, I
prayed for him to die.
And then last year, he
came back into my life,
and he apologized,
he did everything he could to
make up for what he had done,
and, um... I still wanted him to die.
And then, I don't understand
quite how this happened, I...
I fell in love with him again.
And guess what?
He died.
I can't do this.
Oh, damn.
I got it.
(door slams)
(sighs)
Oh, no.
Hey.
Go home.
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
(sighs)
What are you waiting for?
I'm waiting for you to give me
the "don't drink" speech,
get out of my face
and let me do what I got to do.
Just for that, I am not
gonna give you the speech.
I had a good one, too.
Just please leave me alone.
I don't think so.
In fact, that looks pretty good.
I think I'll join you.
Same thing over here.
You're bluffing.
We'll see.
You're not gonna throw
away your relationship
with your family and your whole future
because of what happened with Alvin.
Hey, that was my speech.
What do you say?
You and me, over the
cliff, Thelma and Louise.
Stop it.
I was gonna start my life
over again with Alvin.
I know.
(crying): I just can't
go back to being alone.
You got me.
Meh.
(both laugh)
(chuckles)
Okay. (clears throat)
How about this?
We go crash a funeral.
- What?
- You heard me.
Come on,
let's go buy you a nice black dress.
What about shoes?
(groans) Let's not go crazy.
We're still on a budget.
No, we're not.
How do you figure?
54716400...
Good afternoon.
We're here today
to celebrate the life of a wonderful man,
Alvin Lester Biletnikoff.
Husband to Lorraine Biletnikoff,
father to Douglas and Jackie.
And Christy.
All right.
Alvin was taken from us far too soon,
but he lives on in the
memories of his family,
who I'd like to invite up now
to say a few words about him.
And we'll start with the
love of his life, Lorraine.
- What?
- It's okay.
I would like to thank everyone
who was invited for coming.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I'm sorry.
LORRAINE: As many of you know,
Alvin and I had our problems.
But just before he died, he came to me
and begged me to take him back.
- I can't listen to this.
- Get your...
Stay.
He admitted he'd made some mistakes.
Two of them are here today.
Okay, that's it.
Hold my new purse.
I should've just let her drink.
Hi, I'm Bonnie.
Hi, Bonnie.
(quietly): You get out of here.
Not until I set the record straight.
Alvin and I were in love 35 years ago,
and we were in love the day he died.
And we were starting our life over again
with our beautiful daughter.
Stand up, honey. Show everybody
how beautiful you are.
No, thank you.
Are you done?
Not yet.
Now I'm done.
Christy, start the car.
You sure you don't want any dinner?
You want to talk?
(softly): If I talk, I'll cry.
That's okay.
(sobbing softly)
I have been trying so hard
to keep it together
for you and the kids.
I just can't do it anymore.
Sure.
I miss him.
I know.
I hardly had any time with him.
It's not fair.
No.
- That was incredible.
- Yeah.
Do you know a good house painter?
Really? That's what you think
about after we make love?
What do you mean, "after"?
Hey!
What? I finished early,
I had time to kill.
Anyway, there's a vacancy
in our building,
and I need to give it a
new coat before I rent it.
Oh, is it a nice place?
Very nice. Got a view of the park.
Hmm.
"Hmm" what?
Just thinking.
My lease is up here.
Oh, Alvin, that's a big think.
You'd be right across
the courtyard from me.
We'd basically be living together.
I'm okay with that.
Are you?
Bonnie?
Give me a minute... I'm trying
to decide if I can do better.
Whore.
Oh, good, you're awake.
Can we talk?
Yeah.
What's going on?
You know the vacancy
that just opened up?
Yeah.
How would you feel about
your father moving into it?
Are you kidding?
- It was his idea.
- Really?
Well, I had just put the second
of three smiles on his face.
Three?
Well, okay, the third
was when I told him
he could take a nap.
Still, you got to take it easy on him.
The man had a heart
attack a few months ago.
The doctors gave him
a clean bill of health,
not to mention I do all the work.
So what do you say?
I don't want him moving in over there
unless you're comfortable with it.
Of course I'm comfortable.
Having my parents together for
the first time in my life?
My children getting to
know their grandfather.
Wait. You think you guys will get married?
Who knows, but whatever happens,
you'll always be our little bastard.
Aw, Mommy.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Now I don't want to rush you,
but several of the other
men I'm sleeping with
have expressed interest.
Yes, well, I can't make a decision
until I talk it over with my girlfriend.
What do you say, dollface?
I say take it, baby, just stay
away from the building manager.
That dame's trouble.
Oh!
I so get why I'm cute.
It's in my DNA.
I'm gonna need some help
furnishing this place.
Oh, no,
I'm not falling for that trap.
You're always complaining
about how your ex-wife
made you feel like a guest
in your own home.
This is gonna be your place.
You should decorate it
exactly the way you want.
Oh. Okay.
I've always wanted, uh,
one of those leather reclining couches.
- Oh, my God, with the cup holders?
- Yes!
That's so not gonna happen.
Come on, let me show you
what you're thinking
about for the kitchen.
So friggin' cute.
Wait, so you're gonna live
right across the courtyard?
Yep.
So we get to see you every day?
If you want to.
In fact, I got you a walkie-talkie
so you can call your old
grandpa anytime you want.
Why can't I use a phone?
You can, but the walkie is so cool.
Can you text on it?
Thank your grandpa.
Thanks, Grandpa.
We just want you both to
know that your grandparents
are gonna be here whenever you need us.
Hugs and cookies...
money.
Why don't I use some of that money
to take you all out to dinner.
Roscoe, you like pizza?
I love pizza.
All right, go put your shoes on.
If you don't mind, I have other plans.
Oh, come on, Violet.
This is kind of a big deal.
Can't you spare a couple hours?
He's gonna live, like, 20 feet away.
Why can't I have pizza
with him another night?
As you can see, ornery
bitch runs in the family.
It's actually on our crest.
Wow, look at this!
Do you like it?
I do.
Oh, good, 'cause I
really tried to make it
how you like it but, you know, nice.
I love it.
And I put all your clothes away,
except for the ugly
stuff, which I donated.
You did great.
Thank you.
Oh, here's your credit card.
Be gentle with it; I rode it pretty hard.
Why don't you keep it.
Seriously?
Yeah, I want you to have it.
I love you.
Alvin, I don't need your
card to prove you love me.
I already memorized the number.
Come with me.
Whatever you say, 5471640...
ROSCOE (over walkie-talkie):
Roscoe-one for Grandpa.
Come in, Grandpa.
This is gonna get old real quick.
Grandpa-one for Roscoe.
Go ahead, Roscoe.
What you doing?
I... was actually about
to go to sleep, buddy.
At 7:00?
That's midnight for old folks.
Okay, sweet dreams.
Tell Grandma I say hi.
- I think he's onto us.
- (laughs)
That was very cute.
I can't wait for him to meet my boys.
Why don't we have
them over for dinner?
I'd like that.
My ex-wife wouldn't.
Then let's have them over very soon.
(laughs)
Where were we?
Well, according to the scoreboard,
it's Alvin one, Bonnie nothing.
Oh, well, then it's time for
me to get on the mound.
Play ball!
Ooh...
(laughing)
Okay.
Whatever you're doing is very subtle.
Alvin?
If you fell asleep, I will
never talk to you again.
♪ I got my own bed, I got my own bed ♪
♪ It totally mine, it's no one else's ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, got my own... ♪
BONNIE (shouting): Alvin!
Oh, my God, Alvin!
Oh, man.
Am I gonna have to
hear this every night?
BONNIE: Christy!
Odd choice.
Christy, help!
Oh, God.
Mom?
BONNIE: In here.
What?
He's dead.
What?
He died. Alvin died.
No. No, no, no, no.
I checked already. He's gone.
Stop saying that.
Yeah, I think my father
had a heart attack.
No, he's not moving.
Thank you. Hurry.
He's gonna be okay.
(walkie-talkie chirps)
CHRISTY: Yeah, hi.
This is Christy Plunkett.
Roscoe's mom.
I'm gonna be keeping him home today.
No, no, no, um, not sick.
He lost his grandpa.
Thank you.
Um, we're gonna need
a couple of days here.
Great, I'll pick up his homework.
You know, if you want
to watch TV, it's okay.
I don't.
Video game?
(sighs)
We'll get through this.
VIOLET: Mom?
Be right back.
Yeah?
I'm so sorry.
What are you sorry about, honey?
I blew him off.
He wanted to take me out to dinner,
and I didn't have time for him.
Oh, Violet.
There's no way anybody
could see this coming.
But I was so selfish.
Yeah, well.
Yeah.
How do I live with that?
I don't know, baby.
Stop being selfish?
BONNIE (calling out): Christy?
I'll be right back.
What's... going on?
- I have nothing to wear to this funeral.
- What?
I mean, I have a gray dress,
but I really should wear black.
We need to go shopping.
Yeah, before we do that,
I... need to talk to you about something.
I spoke to Alvin's ex-wife this morning.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's pretty upset,
as you can imagine.
I mean, her ex dying in bed with...
you.
Doing what I get the feeling
he didn't do very often for her.
It was never really his home run swing,
but he brought a lot
of enthusiasm to it.
Right.
So here's the thing.
She doesn't want us to
come to the funeral.
What?
Her sons will be there,
you know, her parents, friends.
It's kinda understandable.
No, it's not.
We lost him, too.
I know, but we can find a way
to pay our respects some other time.
No.
That's not happening.
What does that mean?
That means I'm gonna have a
little chat with the widow.
If I'm not back by dinner,
call the bail bondsman.
His number's on the fridge.
No, no-no-no, no.
- Let go!
- No!
- Suit yourself.
- No! No, no, no, no.
No, no.
- Thanks, sweetie.
- CHRISTY: Please!
I'm begging you!
What's going on?
Help me. She's crackhead strong.
Roscoe, take that to the kitchen.
Get out of my way, old woman.
Not till you tell me where you're going.
Don't worry about it, I'm just gonna go
smack the snot out of Alvin's ex-wife.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Oh, yeah, you gonna stop me?
Now get the hell out of my way.
Ow.
Sit down.
I wish I knew it was that easy.
Bonnie...
listen to me.
I know this is very
hard for you right now,
but you're not alone.
You got a lot of people who love you
and will help you through this.
You hit me.
Yeah, and I'll do it again.
Christy, how are you doing?
I don't know.
I don't have time for how I'm doing.
I think the three of us
should go to a meeting.
That's a great idea.
Mom?
Fine.
Violet, we're gonna go
out for a little while!
Watch Roscoe!
- VIOLET: Do I have to?
- Yes!
And we're back to selfish.
I'm gonna tell everybody you hit me.
I'll probably get a standing ovation.
Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic.
OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.
I don't even know where to start.
(softly): It's okay.
Okay.
There's this guy...
...I used to love,
and he burned me pretty bad.
And for a long time, I
prayed for him to die.
And then last year, he
came back into my life,
and he apologized,
he did everything he could to
make up for what he had done,
and, um... I still wanted him to die.
And then, I don't understand
quite how this happened, I...
I fell in love with him again.
And guess what?
He died.
I can't do this.
Oh, damn.
I got it.
(door slams)
(sighs)
Oh, no.
Hey.
Go home.
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
(sighs)
What are you waiting for?
I'm waiting for you to give me
the "don't drink" speech,
get out of my face
and let me do what I got to do.
Just for that, I am not
gonna give you the speech.
I had a good one, too.
Just please leave me alone.
I don't think so.
In fact, that looks pretty good.
I think I'll join you.
Same thing over here.
You're bluffing.
We'll see.
You're not gonna throw
away your relationship
with your family and your whole future
because of what happened with Alvin.
Hey, that was my speech.
What do you say?
You and me, over the
cliff, Thelma and Louise.
Stop it.
I was gonna start my life
over again with Alvin.
I know.
(crying): I just can't
go back to being alone.
You got me.
Meh.
(both laugh)
(chuckles)
Okay. (clears throat)
How about this?
We go crash a funeral.
- What?
- You heard me.
Come on,
let's go buy you a nice black dress.
What about shoes?
(groans) Let's not go crazy.
We're still on a budget.
No, we're not.
How do you figure?
54716400...
Good afternoon.
We're here today
to celebrate the life of a wonderful man,
Alvin Lester Biletnikoff.
Husband to Lorraine Biletnikoff,
father to Douglas and Jackie.
And Christy.
All right.
Alvin was taken from us far too soon,
but he lives on in the
memories of his family,
who I'd like to invite up now
to say a few words about him.
And we'll start with the
love of his life, Lorraine.
- What?
- It's okay.
I would like to thank everyone
who was invited for coming.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I'm sorry.
LORRAINE: As many of you know,
Alvin and I had our problems.
But just before he died, he came to me
and begged me to take him back.
- I can't listen to this.
- Get your...
Stay.
He admitted he'd made some mistakes.
Two of them are here today.
Okay, that's it.
Hold my new purse.
I should've just let her drink.
Hi, I'm Bonnie.
Hi, Bonnie.
(quietly): You get out of here.
Not until I set the record straight.
Alvin and I were in love 35 years ago,
and we were in love the day he died.
And we were starting our life over again
with our beautiful daughter.
Stand up, honey. Show everybody
how beautiful you are.
No, thank you.
Are you done?
Not yet.
Now I'm done.
Christy, start the car.
You sure you don't want any dinner?
You want to talk?
(softly): If I talk, I'll cry.
That's okay.
(sobbing softly)
I have been trying so hard
to keep it together
for you and the kids.
I just can't do it anymore.
Sure.
I miss him.
I know.
I hardly had any time with him.
It's not fair.
No.