Modern Family (2009–…): Season 6, Episode 7 - Queer Eyes, Full Hearts - full transcript

Haley and Andy start spending a lot of time together. Gloria wants Manny to learn Spanish at school instead of French, and a reporter takes more than a passing interest in Cameron and Mitchell's lives.

English Subtitles.
[MP4] Modern Family S06E07 (720p) Queer Eyes, Full Hearts Web-DL [KoTuWa]
HI Removed

I just love that we're here.

Is there anything more important
than clean water.

In developing countries?

Or a clean glass
in this one? Oh.

Oh, my gosh. It that anne gibbs,
the lady from channel 12 news?

Oh, my god!
It's anne gibbs! Oh, I love her!

That reaction would've been big
if it was anne hathaway.

Oh, she is hiding quite a figure
behind that desk.

Okay, what's going on
with you and anne gibbs?

Come on.
We gotta go say hi to her.

Okay, we're doing this.

Mitchell: Hey. Hi.

Hi. I'm sorry.

Um, I am such a fan.

I was so moved
by that story you did.

About the gymnast with the hump.

You wanna hear something crazy?

He just got a scholarship
to notre dame.

No! Oh, my gosh!

You probably get this
all the time,

But I have a story for you.

I represent some homeless people
in a case against a corporation.

That pays them slave wages.

How long has this been going on?

Since 2012.

We're just trying to
shine a light.

On how awful they're being.
Truly awful.

Are you working on this, too?

Oh, gosh. No, no.

I'm just this one's husband.

I'm a high school
football coach. Cameron Tucker.

Yes. Oh, god.
I'm so embarrassed.

Mitchell Pritchett.
How are you?


You are an openly gay
high school football coach?

I know, I know.
You hear "football coach,".

And you expect to meet somebody
that screams john wayne.

Meanwhile, the only time
I've screamed the duke.

Is when we argue over who's
the cutest on "downton abbey."

Poor Mitchell. He's had to
hear that a hundred times.

I have. I have.

So these homeless people are
making a dollar an hour...

Are there a lot
of openly gay coaches?

Oh, if the adult film industry's
to be believed, there all are.


It's in, you know,
clear violations.

Of the federal
fair labor standards act...

Has anyone ever approached you
for a news segment?

On me?! Oh, my gosh.
No. I don't...

I don't think I'm interesting
enough to do a news segment on.

I mean, what would a reporter
even say about me?

That I'm a high school
football coach.

With an undefeated record
who's tackling stereotypes?

That on my team, prejudice is
considered out of bounds?

That we're blitzing bigotry,
kicking intolerance,

And beating...
metaphors to death?


Captioning provided by
20th century fox television
and abc, inc.

And brought to you by ford.
Beautiful things happen
when you go further.

... Captions by vitac ....


You guys wanna see
something really cool?

Is it behind that old boat?

This is one of the most famous
warships of all time.

The "U.S.S. Constitution."

Stayed in active duty
84 years.

No enemy managed
to board her.

10 seconds,
she's already bored me.

That's your spanish tutor.
I'm gonna say it one more time.

I really think french will be
a better fit for me.

Your name is manuel alberto
javier alejandro delgado.

How is french
a better fit for you?

Okay, I'm pretty sure.

You threw in a name
I've never heard before.


Ah, ah!
En espa?ol, por favor.

Okay, let's take it down
a nacho.

Hola, diego!

El placer es m?o.
You must be mr. Pritchett.

Jay. And I'm just glad
you're here.

Gloria tried to tutor Manny.

There was less yelling
in "the miracle worker."

because he wasn't even trying.

I'm sorry, but spanish
just doesn't seem natural to me.

I don't like the way
it hits my ear.

What could be more natural.

Than your mother's tongue
in your ear?

Do you happen to know
a good english tutor?

Hey, honey!

Oh, hey.

Still studying
for that test?

I can't. I have to study.

What time did you get to bed?

Sure thing.

Claire, I think
something's up with Alex.

I don't know.
Some kind of chicken.

Why is no one listening to me?

Come here.

I don't think she's getting
enough sleep.

Look at her.

She's like a human roomba.

Alex will be fine.

This is our real problem.

When I left for work
this morning,

She was sitting on the couch,
flipping through magazines.

She's 20.
She's finding herself.

How hard can it be?
She hasn't moved.

Well, what were you doing at 20?

Uh, I was getting
a 4.0 in college.

I was working
25 hours a week.

I was volunteering
at a suicide hotline.

Get off the couch!
Do something with your life!

Was it
an assisted suicide hotline?

Your father's home...

From work.

- Already?
- must be nice.

Daddy, my doll
won't stop crying.

Oh, honey, did you try
the "off" switch?

Of course I tried
the "off" switch!


Sorry I snapped.
She's been like this all day.

There you go.

That never worked on you.

Ha ha.
So, good news.

Anne gibbs actually wants to do
a news segment on me!


Great news, Cam.

Isn't that exciting?

They're gonna send
a whole team Friday,

Follow me around
with a Camera crew,

Then interview me
at the homecoming games.

So listen, I kinda have
a big favor to ask.

Uh, w... okay.

the varsity coach and his wife.

Cook a big pancake breakfast
for the football team...

For homecoming.

I do not like
where this is going.

Well, let me finish.
Okay, continue.

How would you feel if you and I
cooked a big pancake breakfast.

For the varsity football team?

Did you think that
that was a twist?

Mitchell, please.

No, unless you can convince
tom brady to spend the night,

I am not making breakfast
for any football players.

He... he is a football player,

It's the perfect reference.

But, Mitchell,
this is important.

So is my job. I have
closing arguments on Friday.

I promise
you'll be out by 9:00.

I just wanna show the world.

That we're as supportive
and respectful.

As any straight couple.

Aw. That's an incredibly
manipulative thing to say.

Well, that's not how I meant it.
And that hurts my feelings.

Oh, my god. This is so lame
and transparent.

Busted. You know,
you're so much smarter than me.

Oh, I wish I knew where
your "off" switch was.

Well, you know where
my "on" switch is.

Hey, mrs. Dunphy. Remember me?

Andy. Of course.
Come on in.
yep. Okay.

You are
Joe's babysitter, right?

Uh, "Manny" is what
we call ourselves.

In the child care community.

But it's confusing
in that house.

Because of their son Manny.

So I've been trying to get
traction with "bro-pair."

Hey, andy.
Hey, sir... Uh, mr. Dunphy.

Sorry. I didn't... See you.

Andy, please. "Sir mr. Dunphy"
is my british name.

Oh, my... You did not
just think of that!


what can we do for ya?

I'm actually here...
hey, andy.

come on.

Whoa. He's here for you?

Yeah. We're just gonna be
in the basement.

So good to see you guys.

I don't know why
I just did that.

That was...

what was that?!

Don't be offended.

In many cultures, it's customary
to bow only to the man.

Phil. Haley, andy...
is that a thing?

Oh. I don't know.

Well, I hope not.

Haley is at
a very low point in her life.

It's the last thing she needs
right now.

Sometimes a boy might be
a good distraction?

I remember
a certain young lady.

Was pretty addicted
to "ms. Pac-man".

Until a dashing young gent
caught her eye.

Only because you were wearing
a feather earring.

It wasn't a feather.

It was a dream catcher.

And it worked.

Well, we're done.
One more session this week,

And Manny will be ready
for his test.

Ay, qu? bueno.



What are they saying?

If I knew,
he wouldn't be here.

Hey, hey!

Hey. Where have you been?

I've been cooking pancakes
by myself for an hour.

What can I do to help?

Uh, you can crack some eggs
over there.

Uh... You know what?

I think whisking
might read better.

What are you doing?
There's nothing in there.

Don, can you tell
there's nothing in here?
All good.

Don's all good.
Oh, good. Good.

So we're getting
some extra footage.
Good, don.

What we call "b-roll."

Anne wants to see me
help cook.

I wanna see you help cook.

I thought this was something
that we were doing together.

Yes, you're right.
Okay, let's do this. Sorry.


That's perfect. I'm happy.

Don's happy.
I'm not happy.

Cameron: What's up, guys?!

Diego and Gloria:

Qu? malo!

Ah, se?or Pritchett.

Please, join us.

Nice as it is for you to invite
me to swim in my own pool,

I thought I was paying you
to teach Manny spanish.

Manny's done with his lesson.

But diego here is also
a swim instructor,

So he's going to teach Joe
to swim.

Must be a good teacher if Joe
doesn't have to be here for it.

Manny's putting him
in his swimming diaper.

There they are!

Let's go swim!

Come here. Ah!


You know, after you showed us
that cool model,

I started reading up
on the "u.S.S. Constitution."

Quite a ship in its day.

Then, of course,
they invented steamships.

Your old sailing frigates
just couldn't compete.

With those younger, faster,
steamier models in the water.

You know, it's too bad
you don't spend as much time.

On your spanish homework
as you do online.

Finding passive-aggressive ways
of using my hobbies against me.

What's this?

Permission slip.
Lets me transfer into french.

Only one parent signature


Come on, Jay. I can't take it
anymore. I quit.

You're already starting
to sound french.

Honey, I'm getting worried
about Alex.

I don't think she slept again
last night.

It's like the third night
in a row.

I thought you were gonna
set your alarm and check on her?

Stupid thing never went off.

I'm sure Alex slept.
I don't know.

She's sitting at her desk,
too tired to move her eyeballs.

She's reading her book
like this.

Did anyone see
my leopard print skirt?

I saw a leopard headband
on the stairs.

That's it.

Alex is gonna be fine. That's
the one I'm worried about.

I'm gonna go talk to her.

I can't believe

I just went power-walking
with her skirt on my head.

Haley, honey,
I wanted to talk to you.

About this whole thing
with andy.

What's there to talk about?

Well, I'm concerned that
it is distracting you.

From what's really important.

Oh, mom, there's nothing
to worry about.

You know, it's just sex.


Purely physical. It's really
just a stress-reliever.


I am not having sex with andy.
We're just friends.

I'm helping him prep
for a job interview.

That he doesn't want anybody
to know about.

The whole sex thing
was the fastest way.

To end the conversation
with my mother.

Uh, are there
any more questions?

Okay, cool.

Oh, that's him.

Hey! Oh, you look so good!

Come inside. Are you ready?

Yeah. I saw some stuff online,

So I got a couple new things
I wanna try out.

Let's do it!

...Which proves, anne,
you can score with a gay coach.

Wait. Uh, can I try that again?

No, that was great.

Um, how does your spouse feel
about you coaching?

Oh, this one?
he's my rock. He's...

He's my connie britton.

Your... Your connie britton?

Mrs. Coach
on "Friday night lights."

Can I talk to you
for a second?

Uh... Um...

Uh, don, anne? Can we, uh...


Yeah, what's up?
Do you have any idea.

How insulting you've been to me
all morning?

What, because I just
compared you to connie britton?

Mitchell, she was an equal
to coach taylor.

You'd know that
if you saw the show.

Well, I guess I missed it.

Because "the Cam show"
was always on.

Really? You're not gonna let me
have my moment here?

It is always your moment,

And usually
I-I'm fine with that.

But the other night,

I was trying to get them
to cover my case,

And you... you made it
all about you.

I did not. That is unfair.

I have always supported your job
and know how important it is.

What's my new case about?

The only one I was talking about
for three weeks.


Who need people.
Are they lucky, Cam?

Are they the luckiest people
in the world?

Daddy, she won't
stop crying again.

One second, honey.
Look, Cam, I love you very much,

But I resent the way
you're treating me today.

Okay, I am not
some 1950s housewife. I...

come on.

Did you sign something so that
Manny could switch to french?

I did.
You knew that I wanted him
to learn spanish.

I also know
you can't force a kid.

To be interested in something
that he's not.

That's why I have.

A picture of Mitchell
and his prom date shaking hands.

It would be nice for someone to
care what I think for a change.

You should also know that I
hired a new swimming instructor.

But don't worry.

She's got the same
broad shoulders plus a mustache.

So all this is
because you're jealous?

I can't believe
that you're being so...

In... Fer... Ur...

what is the word?

Selfish. Pigheaded.

Her words, not mine.

Do you know
how frustrating it is.

To have to translate everything
in my head before I say it?

To have people
laugh in my face.

Because I'm struggling
to find the words?

You should try talking
in my shoes for one mile!

I think you meant...
I know what I meant to mean.

Do you even know
how smart I am in spanish?

Of course you don't.

For once, it would be nice
to speak to someone.

In my own language
in my own home.

Whatever the spanish word is
for "women," am I right?

Mother nature!

Andy. I did not know
you were there.

Stupid little cat feet.

I'm not sure where Haley is.

Actually, mr. Dunphy, I was
hoping I could speak with you.

Oh, yeah?
What can I do for ya?

Mr. Dunphy,

I love being a Manny,

But I can't do it forever.

I just didn't know what
the next chapter should be,

But then I met a guy
named Phil Dunphy.

A guy who loves
what he does, and...

A guy who provided all this
for his family.

And then I realized,

A career in real estate
is what I want.

And I was hoping I could...

Learn from the best.

Skip woosnum?
Um, I can put in a call.

He doesn't really get back...


Wow. Andy, I'm...
I'm so flattered.

I'm just not in the market
for an assistant right now.


Stupid. That was stupid
to even ask.

Thank you so much
for your time.

Lesson number one...
never take "no" for an answer!

Now make me buy you.


Uh, I'm a hard worker,
I am very clean,

I am eager to please, I take
super quick bathroom breaks,

And I will never, ever...

Oh! I'm blanking on the verb!

W-uh... When you give up
on something?

I had to ask.

Because I don't know the meaning
of the word.


What's going on here?

I'm introducing you to
my new assistant.

Ow! Oh, my ribs!

Mr. Dunphy, thank you so much.
I will not disappoint you.

Andy, do you think this is
a great idea,

Considering that
you and Haley are...

You know.

Doing it.

Mother nature!

Mnh-mnh. No.

We were just helping each other
get ready for job interviews.

There is nothing inappropriate

Between me and your daughter.

Haley has a job interview?

That's where she is right now.
With who?

Gavin sinclair.

The big-time
stylist to the stars?

He's the one
that slapped katie couric.

Oh, wow!

Our little girl's
gonna be okay after all!

One thing about our girl...
she's a fighter.

Hello. I have an appointment
to see gavin sinclair.

Not today. He's in a mood.


I felt awful
after that pancake breakfast,

And not just because Mitchell
undercooked the bacon.

I hated that I didn't know
what his case was about.

So I popped by the courtroom
on the way to the game.

These people preyed on.

The poorest members
of society...

Those who are unable
to defend themselves.

They were treated
with disrespect.

He was amazing!

And he wasn't doing any of it
for himself.

He was just trying to help
those in need.

Can you imagine being robbed
of your basic rights.

And a living wage?

And after all those years
of Mitchell supporting me,

I was so happy to see
all eyes on him.

It was his moment.

It's unfathomable.

But what this case...

as I was saying,

What this case is about
is dignity...

The dignity of those...

Who we step over.

And we need to take these people
and we need to get them back...

Listen, I'm sorry I let Manny
switch over to french.

Without consulting you.

I didn't think
how it must be for you.

Having to speak english
all the time.

You have no idea.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell
you I hired the tutor back.

Manny's not gonna like that.

He's too much into
his french thing.

The tutor's not for Manny.
It's for me.

Ay, Jay, I love it!

Now you sound like
the stupid one!

It's me. I'm back.

I made a pact
with a friend of mine,

And I am not leaving
this office.

Until I meet
with gavin sinclair.

I don't care what's on
your vision board.

You're not
getting in there.

So if you could just...

I'm insanely busy.

Nikki, thank god you're here.

Peel this orange for me.

Mr. Sinclair,
it's Haley Dunphy.

I was supposed to see you
for the assistant job.

I have been studying your work,
and I have to say.

The looks that you did
for new york fashion week.

Put you...
ah! I'm really too busy
right now.

Oh! But I drove all the way down
here. We had an appointment!

Yeah, I looked at your blog.
It's a little too cutesy for me.

I need someone with edge.

I have edge.

You are literally the most
wide-eyed person I've ever seen.

You have the face
of a cartoon lamb.

Thanks for coming by, though.


What is that?
I wanted the peel.


I think it's weird
you don't like cutesy.

Considering half your clients
at the grammys looked like.

They just stepped out of
a my little pony fever dream.

That's good. But not at me.
Never at me.

Nikki, stop.

There are five things wrong
with nikki's outfit.

What are they?

Uh, she's standing right there.

I'm dressed better
than she is.

The tank gives you a uniboob.

The watch is too big.

The harem pants,
the wedge boots,

And come on, that belt?

The '90s have been out
for three years.

And that's five.

Now should I do you?

Boy: Uhh!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Victoire! C'est magnifique!

Uh, excuse me, young man.

Was it coach Tucker's openness.

That gave you the courage
to come out?



Hey, you!
Come here.

Court ran a little late,
but I got to see you win.

Thank you!

Ugh. Are you wearing makeup?

Oh, well, just on my face.

And my ears and my neck
and my hands, yeah.

Okay, so listen.
About this morning...
no, no. I...

Uh, coach Tucker,
coach Tucker.

Can we get a few words
on your big win?

Oh, um, I-I need to do this.

Yeah. Of course you do.
Yeah, it's fine.

So tell me, coach,
how does this victory feel?

Well, it feels great.

Obviously, I feel like
the belle of the football.

Don liked that one.
Don's laughing.

It's pretty groundbreaking how
this school has embraced you.

Well, I'm grateful
to this school, you know,

And the kids and the parents.

But, um, you know, I gotta say,
I'm most grateful for...

For this guy right here,
my husband.

Uh, Mitchell.
Mitchell Pritchett.


He's an attorney.

Who is the voice
for people without one.

He is a-a real hero...

who doesn't
get the credit he deserves.

Today, I went down and I watched
him in the courtroom.

I knew that was you.
I recognized your ringtone.

I'm building to something.

You know, yeah,
I get a lot of attention,

You know, coaching this game.

But this man right here.

Quietly defends the rights of
real people with real problems.

Homeless people
forced to get jobs.

No, that's not it. That's not
it, but it was so close.

Yes, I am standing here.

Boldly abolishing
gay stereotypes.


My makeup's running, isn't it?

I did it! I got the job!

Oh! Oh!

Honey, I'm so proud! Oh!
Thank you!

Never doubted you.
So great. So great.


I know!
It was such a roller coaster!

The receptionist was so mean,

And I went
and I cried in my car.

And I was about to leave,

But I remembered how brave
you were talking to my dad,

So I got back in there!

And I did that thing you said
about not throwing up.

Oh, my god!
Claire: Mm.

I guess some boys are
a good distraction.

Yeah, he could be exactly what
she needs right now.

And I don't know about you,

But I'm sensing a little heat
over here.

Oh, my god!
I'm so happy for you!

Oh, this is so great.

And thanks to you,
mr. Dunphy,

I can finally save up and get
beth that engagement ring.

Who's beth?

His girlfriend.

Oh. So you two
really aren't together?


She's, like,
really obsessed with us.


The words on the page
are vibrating,

And I can't make them stop.
I forgot how to read!

Alex, oh, my god.

Read it to me, mommy?

Baby, you're exhausted and you
need to go to sleep right now.

Come with me. Come with me.

Yes, you were wrong about


Who says "'kay"?!

You're so stupid!

Go! Go around!

Go around!

I'm not going anywhere!

I'm not going anywhere!

I am not going anywhere!

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not... Going... Anywhere.

Mr. Gavin sinclair,
I'm not going anywhere.

You're about to see me.

I'm gonna show you
I'm not going anywhere!

I'm not going anywhere!