Mod Squad (1968–1973): Season 1, Episode 5 - You Can't Tell the Players Without a Programmer - full transcript
Pete saves a former school friend from drowning and discovers she's being blackmailed.
Hey, my man. Is there
any sign of the truck?
Truck? What truck, man?
Hoo! I'm made for
these velvet hubcaps.
Pete. Pete. Pete.
You're supposed to stay inside.
I know, but one of the
waiters is watching the furs.
I mean, he's counting them.
Uh... five foot ten,
165 pounds, black hair,
dark eyes, and a thin mustache.
Good girl.
Pete.
Pete Cochrane.
Hi, uh... I'm sorry,
you can't park here.
There's a wedding reception.
You don't remember me.
Louise.
Louise Semple, from school.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. You were valedictorian.
The Most Likely to...
The most likely to get a ticket
if you don't get
out of the street.
I live right here... well,
right across the street.
When you finish work,
why don't you come over? I...
I'd like to talk to you.
Yeah, sure. I'll see you around.
(Linc whistles)
LOUISE: It's right
across the street.
You won't forget. Please?
Okay, okay. But, right now,
I've got to get back
to work. Excuse me.
You're excused.
The truck is here, Captain.
Okay, Pete. Be careful.
Solid.
♪ ♪
(sirens wailing)
Captain Greer. I'll take those.
Very public-spirited
of you young people.
You should come
down to my office.
I'll arrange a commendation.
No, thanks.
We don't like cops.
(theme song playing)
WOMAN: Oh, no! Please!
Somebody help! Help!
Help! Please help!
Help! Help!
♪ ♪
Sad little bird.
Yes.
Man, all she needed
was someone to talk to,
and I didn't give
her the chance.
You didn't push her in, Pete.
No... No, I didn't.
I just gave her a little shove.
That's all I did.
Look at her, man.
She's still drowning.
I can't just leave, say
good night, get some rest.
Be careful.
What she means
is, don't get hung up.
Being around all this bread,
it might remind you of home,
and we'd lose you.
Get out of here.
Hey. Let's face it.
You're never going
to win the Olympics.
I'm sorry. No more bad jokes.
Look, you've done
your good deed.
And I'm sorry
your clothes got wet.
Now, will you please go away?
Hey, hey, hey, now.
You asked me to come over
because you wanted to talk.
I'm over.
Well, there really
isn't very much to say.
Now, I fished you out of there.
Don't you think you
owe me just a little bit
of explanation?
While my clothes are drying?
(car approaching)
Good night, Roy.
(engine starts)
Well, well, well.
A moonlight swimming party.
Hiya, stranger!
Mother.
My name is Peter
Cochrane, Mrs. Semple.
Samantha.
Why don't you just
call me Samantha?
Mother, please.
Now, don't be neurotic, darling.
I'm not begrudging
you a little fun.
Mrs... I'm sorry... Samantha...
A few hours ago,
I pulled your daughter
out of the swimming pool
because she tried
to drown herself.
Oh, yes, Mother... I did.
But why?
It's Roy, isn't it?
Darling, please don't hate me.
I'm still young. I've
got a right to live.
Mother, I don't hate you.
Mother, you're 41
years old!
And Roy is how old... 26? 27?
Uh, excuse me.
My clothes are
probably dry; I'll get them.
And I'm going
to call the doctor.
Well, I won't see him!
Oh!
(crying)
(crying)
Please go away.
I want to help you.
Well, you can't.
It's like...
being in the dark
and reaching out,
only there's nobody there
to touch... nobody to tell.
Try me.
Look, sooner or later, you're
going to have to surface.
(phone rings)
Hello.
Hello.
I was hoping you'd call.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it.
Tomorrow?
Well, I'm looking
forward to seeing you, too.
Would you hold on a sec?
Uh... Pete, would you mind?
I think your
clothes are dry now,
and this is personal.
Okay.
Call me the next time
you need a lifeguard.
Yes.
(hand brake clicks)
You sure you want
to do this, Pete?
After that brush
you got last night?
I just want to see
if she's all right.
Maybe she just doesn't
want any company.
Well, then I don't know.
He's got skin trouble.
Yeah, and she's under it.
(doorbell rings)
Her car is still in back.
And she's at home.
You're out here and that's
probably how she wants it.
It's a polite
invitation to get lost.
There was a phone call
yesterday that scared her
and I want to know why.
Oh, man, it's her bag
and she's staying inside it.
(car starts, engine revving)
(tires screeching,
engine roaring)
Linc, yesterday, when
she was on the phone,
there was someone
that she was going
to meet today.
Follow her, please?
There goes our day off.
Man, we can't take on
the woes of the world.
There're too many
wounded birds trying to fly.
(tires squeal)
We're not married, man.
If you want to split, split.
Not me.
I've been a birdwatcher
from way back.
♪ ♪
Linc, keep a string
on him, will ya?
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Lift home, lady?
What are you doing here?
Following you.
I saw you give that
guy some bread.
What are you buying, drugs?
No drugs.
Now will you please
leave me alone?!
Then it has
to be blackmail.
What does he have?
Louise?
What can be that ugly?
Where can I drop you?
Anywhere.
Anywhere but the
hole you're falling into.
It's too hard to crawl out of.
Pete?
Yeah?
Thank you for what
you're trying to do.
Sure.
Pete, are you ever sorry
that you walked
out on your family?
I was kicked out.
Mine's a different scene.
My family walked out on me.
When my father
was living with us,
when they were still together,
my mother was so different.
How long ago did they split up?
About a year ago.
A trial separation.
My father lives in Miami
and sends us money.
And my mother spends it,
trying to prove she's
still 25 years old.
And you're in the middle.
"The Wind and Sea Gallery,
Polynesian art exhibit."
Is that where you're
going to find your answers?
On canvas?
It's better than
a swimming pool.
We lost him.
But I got his license number.
Well, that's groovy.
Thank you, guys.
But in order to run
down a license number
we need the captain.
And I got a pretty
good idea what he'll say.
Attempted suicide,
which you failed to report.
Blackmail, you think, but you've
got no complaining witness.
And for icing, you
lose a suspect.
I repeat:
don't branch out on your own.
Julie got the license number.
"R" something K833.
"R" something, huh?
He was moving so fast.
Well, "R" something gives
us 26 passes at the alphabet.
You've got no case, let it go.
Have a nice weekend.
I'll see you Monday.
Department of Motor Vehicles.
$260?
Wow, she must have
really been in trouble
to have hocked that.
Oh, man, I've got some money.
I saved some at home...
but nowhere near enough.
I got a few bucks of my own.
Well, I always wanted a piece
of a diamond mine.
(waves crashing
onto beach in distance)
Um...
Where did you get that?
I picked your purse...
then went back and got it.
It took all three of us
to get the bread
together, but...
that's what friends are for.
There's no strings.
We just, uh, want you
to tell us what time it is
when you're ready to talk.
Well, I guess the time is now.
That man that I paid?
I don't even know his name.
I don't!
He just called one day
and asked for some money.
And you says,
"Why?" And he said...
Oh, well, that's private.
I-I just can't tell you.
Is it your mother?
I've been there.
She, uh...
leaves her problems around
for other people to clean up.
And you're other people.
He's got pictures...
of my mother and Roy.
Roy Tilson.
You know...
fun time.
If my father ever saw those,
he'd never come back.
And if he doesn't come
back, she'll come apart.
She needs him!
We both need him.
Louise,
why don't you tell your
mother what's happening?
That man said if I did
that, he'd tell my father.
You know, show him the pictures.
I-I can't take that chance.
It may sound corny,
but why don't you call the cops?
Look,
will you forget it, all of you,
and just leave me alone?!
GREER: Chicken!
Is that all you ever have to
eat around here is chicken?
Hey, where were you?
I've been waiting over an hour.
At the beach.
The beach?!
You said take the weekend off.
Yeah, I said off, not off.
He said off...
Julie,
your "something" is L.
What?
License number: RLK-833.
You're buying the
blackmail thing?
Not buying, just shopping.
How'd you get the
license number so fast?
All it takes is a phone call.
The license belongs to a
man called Arthur Quinn.
Programs computers.
Checked him out.
Says he doesn't
know Louise Semple.
He said his car was
taken from the garage,
from where he works.
Turned up a couple hours later.
You believe that?
First thing Monday
morning, you find out.
(tires squeal)
Acme Transmission.
Where's, uh, RLK-833, Mr. Quinn?
It's right over there. Yeah.
But Mr. Quinn didn't tell me
anybody was taking his car.
Oh, no sweat... I'll have
it back right after lunch.
Hold it! Oh, come on, man!
Now, the guy the other
day let me take a car out!
I mean, it's legit, you know?
What guy?
Oh, uh, Rick or Dick.
Big guy, arms like a
gorilla, sandy hair, tall.
None of my crew.
And nobody takes a car out of
here without the owner's permission.
Nobody.
First rate here.
You still haven't got anything!
Captain, Quinn's car
doesn't go anywhere
without Mr. Quinn's permission.
And a blackmailer used it
to make the pickup
from Louise Semple.
Now, are you gonna say Quinn
has nothing to do with anything?
That's not what I said.
I say you have no proof,
and you've gone as far
as you can go. Captain...
I want to review the case.
Will you back off for a while?
Louise Semple still
tried to kill herself.
Louise Semple...
Leave her out of this.
It's on ice.
The weekend is over.
We're now conducting
business as usual.
Now, here's your
next assignment...
Go have lunch.
Oh, Captain, now,
one more... One what?
One ham on rye,
and hold the pickle.
Hello, could I talk to Louise?
Why didn't you ask the captain
if you could use his phone?
Because he told
me to go to lunch.
Hello, Louise?
This is Pete.
Yes. Uh...
What are you gonna do for lunch?
I would like to.
All right. Okay, okay, okay.
No questions.
I promise.
Around the back.
All right. Yeah, I'll find it.
I'll see you later.
Yeah, bye.
The captain said to
go have lunch, right?
He didn't say with who.
Pete...
I'm glad you called.
I was rude before.
Tell your friends I'll pay
them back as soon as I can.
We trust you.
What?
I said we trust you.
And you want me to trust you.
Yes.
Like, where is your
watch, for openers?
You promised...
No questions.
I lied.
Pete, I'll work it out.
Like you tried to
do the last time?
SAMANTHA: Now, stop it!
(Samantha laughing)
Your mother seems
to have friends.
(laughing)
Oh!
Don't you think it's
about time you did?
Roy... stop.
I couldn't very well
bring anybody here to see this.
Roy!
My mother and I
have different tastes.
And what is your taste?
It's funny you should ask that.
Why?
I, uh... I went
to a computer dating
service once to find out.
But why does a pretty
girl like yourself have to go
to a computer dating service?
Because she's lonely.
How did you do?
It was a classic case
of misprogramming.
I wound up with a playboy
who was looking
for a sexy party girl,
fond of...
baseball and dancing.
Roy!
(laughing)
Not quite what I
was looking for.
SAMANTHA: Stop it,
Roy. Don't be so mean.
Roy... (laughing)
Louise, do you, by any chance,
remember the name
of this computer outfit?
Yes. The name is...
the Venus Corporation.
A computer dating service.
Right. And this
Quinn works there.
Now, I know you
told me to lay off,
but I've got to
find out for myself.
Hey, you're beginning
to sound like a cop.
Well, where do we go from here?
You don't.
Julie does.
A police psychologist first,
and then you're ready.
For what?
To date a computer.
It's the Venus
Corporation, isn't it?
Let's send them Venus.
You see, computer
programming is almost a science.
A clever set of questions,
and if one answer
doesn't conform,
the subject will
reveal his true self
without ever knowing it.
Okay, I'll try it again.
Julie, if it's too
tough, we can...
No, I can do it.
I hope so.
And I hope you know
what you're doing, Adam.
The Venus Corporation
is a legitimate
computer dating service.
I met the head, Dr. Griswold,
a very reputable psychologist.
LINC: Except he hired Quinn.
And from Quinn, the string leads
to Louise Semple
being blackmailed.
After she went to the
Venus Corporation for a date.
Now, Griswold probably
doesn't even know.
Quinn is the chief programmer.
He receives and evaluates
all the information before
it goes into the computer.
And he saves the
prize catches for himself
to set up privately.
And so, angel, we
need a very prize catch.
Okay.
All right, we'll try again.
A choice of one.
Your father was...
Now, listen carefully...
An indulgent man?
A tightwad?
Your ideal man?
A failure?
Or you fill in your own answer.
I never knew my father,
Dr. Brennan.
Oh...
That was the old,
the old Julie saying it.
The new Julie would say:
Daddy was a doll...
whoever he was.
And Mommy was a love, too...
on the rare occasions when
she was home and sober.
But, uh... they were
generous, they were generous.
I got oodles of two things:
money...
and loneliness.
Hello.
Hello. Where's the
Venus Corporation?
That's the ninth floor.
They have the whole floor, miss.
The elevator's right over there.
Here you go.
Nine, please.
Venus Corporation?
Sure thing.
(dials one digit)
Give me Mr. Quinn, please.
I've asked you
not to call me here.
RECEPTIONIST: Venus Corporation.
A perfect date,
the perfect mate.
Yes, our hours are
between 9:00 and 5:00.
Good. Looking
forward to seeing you.
Bye-bye.
Now, may I help you?
Not likely.
I came here to get a man.
This one's special.
I just saw her drive in
handling 15 grand worth of car.
I want a date,
dear, not a diploma.
No tests.
But Miss Barnes,
the forms are required.
Look, I don't care.
Any problem?
Miss Barnes, uh...
Look, forget it. Just forget it.
Just a minute. I'll
handle this, Miss Drake.
Now, if you'll just
step this way, please?
My office is right in here.
I'm sure we can straighten
everything out.
Now, Miss, uh... Miss, uh...?
Barnes. Julie Barnes.
Do you, uh... run this outfit?
Well, I program the computer,
so I have to know
something about you
in order to find you a date.
Yes. Well, it's, uh,
really quite simple.
I'm bored and, uh,
some of the kids at school
were dating here, so I thought
I'd come down and try
and meet somebody new.
All right. Age preference?
No limitations. Male.
Surprise me.
Oh, I dig surprises.
That's why I'm here.
I don't want anyone to
know about my family.
Family?
Julie Barnes.
Barnes Manufacturing
and Southwest Transport.
Oh. Of course.
So...
tell your computer
to play it real cool.
And, uh... I have a suite
at the Plaza West Hotel...
where I stay just to be alone.
That'll be my address.
There are things that I do there
I don't want everybody
to know about.
Well, we all have our secrets.
What does that mean?
Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all.
Now, I'll get you some
forms, Miss Barnes.
You'll have to fill them out
so there'll be no mistakes.
Oh, and, uh...
please hurry.
My hairdresser's
waiting for me at the suite.
Mm. I understand.
Yeah. That's the one.
Very nice.
Shh.
Don't let her see you.
"Nice."
That's a definite
understatement.
Rich, big rich.
And bored.
And lonely. Yeah.
Well, that's my pigeon.
You think he's what
I want, Mr. Quinn?
Oh, well.
Well, yes, if you recommend him.
Yes, well, send
him over tonight.
Right.
Roy Tilson, right.
Good-bye.
Roy Tilson?
That's Louise's
mother's boyfriend.
Hey, mellow.
Lay on the boy and the mother,
and then shake down
the daughter because of it.
Oh, wow, is that low.
Take it easy, Julie.
You're talking about your
very own special blind date.
(knocking)
Old Roy's gotta be
the fastest cat in town.
Uh-uh.
Voila!
(in British accent): As long
as the city's picking up the tab,
we might as well
sock it to them.
Thank you.
♪ Ta-dun... ♪
♪ Ta-dun... ♪
♪ Da-dun! ♪
Come and get it.
Listen, you guys eat
and get out of here.
I gotta get dressed.
Every time we get
into a classy joint,
it's time to get out.
And I didn't even
order any doggy bags.
(laughing)
(knocking)
Well, hello.
Julie, I'm Roy.
Come in, Roy.
The, uh... computer
sure knows it's business.
Fun, fun... three
whole days of it, man.
Makes my heart sing.
All that sincere young love.
No, Roy, not here, not here.
Where? And when?
I don't know... maybe tonight.
Oh.
Yeah, well, actually,
I've got a business
date tonight.
You understand, honey.
A man's gotta make a living.
Come on...
A little nightcap, darling?
Not tonight.
What's the matter, Roy?
You've been sort of...
you've been sort
of funny all evening.
I'm tired, that's all.
Too much work.
All right, darling.
But rest up.
We'll go up to Vegas
over the weekend.
Be my treat, how
does that sound?
Sounds great.
(tires screeching)
Good evening, businessman.
How did your conference swing?
Honey, you don't understand.
Honey, I do.
She's old enough
to be your keeper.
It's all over,
believe me. I was...
Lying just like
you're doing now.
Look, do you want me or do you
want that over-the-hill swinger?
Julie, Julie, I love you.
You know that. Great.
Prove it. Get rid of her.
I mean it.
Tomorrow.
It's not easy.
Oh well, it may not
be, but that's my deal.
And, Roy, darling...
I pay for my deals all the way.
Yeah.
All right, Julie, tomorrow.
Satisfied?
Delighted, darling.
ROY: Honey, you
don't understand.
JULIE: Honey, I do.
She's old enough
to be your keeper.
ROY: It's all over,
believe me. I was...
JULIE: Lying just
like you're doing now.
Look, do you want me or do you
want that over-the-hill swinger?
ROY: Julie, Julie, I love you.
You know that.
JULIE: Great.
Prove it. Get rid of her.
I mean it.
Tomorrow.
ROY: It's not easy.
JULIE: Oh, well, it may
not be, but that's my deal.
And Roy, darling...
I pay for my deals all the way.
Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry.
You're sorry.
Oh, no, baby, no.
I... I'm sorry.
God, what a mess
I've made of everything.
It isn't very much of
an excuse, baby, but...
you see, when a woman
isn't very talented or brilliant,
her looks become very big.
Number one.
It gets though she
worries about the years.
They become terribly important.
And then, when your
father went away, I...
well, I guess I just kept
on trying even harder to...
prove that I was
still attractive.
Mother, don't.
It's all right.
All right?
All I've done... I...
I trapped you into
paying blackmail...
embarrassed you, shamed you.
I'm not ashamed.
I'm not ashamed.
I love you, Mother.
Thank you, darling.
Well, uh... I, uh... I just
don't know what to do.
Should I go to the police?
No, I really don't think
that that would help you
get your husband back.
But maybe there's a way.
At least we can try with this.
I don't understand.
Well, I really don't know,
but I've never heard
of a blackmailer
letting go while there's
at least one more dollar
to be had.
Pete...
who are you, really?
Just a friend.
A very good friend, Mrs. Semple.
But...
you're going to
have to trust me...
and help me.
And it might be...
No, it will be...
embarrassing...
and painful for you.
That's good.
When you've been
as foolish as I've been,
you don't rate an easy way out.
What do you want me to do?
That looks just fine.
I'm sorry about Vegas, honey.
Business comes first.
There'll be plenty of
time when you come back.
Well, that's something else
I wanted to talk about... I...
I may be gone
longer than I planned.
I'll still be here.
Well, the point is, I uh...
I'm a little short right now.
I, uh... could use
some expense money.
It would just be
a loan, of course.
Oh, I'm sorry, darling,
my check's a little
late this month.
I'm afraid you'll just have
to find another banker.
Oh.
I'm awfully sorry; that
was very clumsy of me.
Here, let me fix
you another one.
Take it easy, Pete.
She'll be all right.
I wish we were
closer, that's all.
That's all we need
is a mob scene.
Then then whole thing
would go down the drain.
You know, whatever happens,
she's really got to be quite a lady.
Mrs. Semple?
Yeah. Did you see the
look on Louise's face
when her mother put
her arms around her?
That's what it's all about.
(slamming glass down)
All right, what's it all about?
That's funny.
You know, that's the first
time I ever refused you money.
And your charm
suddenly vanishes.
I guess that tells
it all, doesn't it?
Yeah, that tells it all, too.
Good-bye, Roy.
Well, that's fine with me, baby,
as soon as we
transact a little business.
Five big ones
should take care of it.
And your lovely signature.
$5,000, just like that?
And we part friends.
And if I say no?
I wouldn't.
Best investment you'll
ever make, Samantha.
Look what you
get for your money.
What, no negatives?
Someday, you may
even get those back...
if you're nice.
It's an ugly
business, blackmail.
They put people in jail for it.
If someone complains...
But you won't, will you, pet.
How do you think
your hubby would feel
if I showed him
those photographs?
Why don't you ask him?
Darling?
This is my husband.
ADAM: Hello, Roy.
I heard a lot about you.
Couldn't wait to meet you.
Hi, baby.
Did you tell her off yet?
♪ ♪
You ever notice?
A $300 suit is
real sharp on land,
but it's sure a mess of nothing
when you wet it down a little.
(shouting, laughing)
Here, here, here, here!
Hey, come and get it!
Come on.
SAMANTHA: Here you are.
Thank you.
Chicken?
It's been a long time
since I put a picnic together.
How'd I do?
You want to open a restaurant,
you got a partner.
Did I remember to thank you?
We're all even.
Hey, you, uh...
you feel like a
little trip tomorrow?
Whatever you say.
Anyplace in particular?
Miami.
I want to talk to your dad.
Some wife.
A guy could starve to death.
Hey, this is chicken.
(laughing)
GREER: For goodness sake!
(all laughing)
any sign of the truck?
Truck? What truck, man?
Hoo! I'm made for
these velvet hubcaps.
Pete. Pete. Pete.
You're supposed to stay inside.
I know, but one of the
waiters is watching the furs.
I mean, he's counting them.
Uh... five foot ten,
165 pounds, black hair,
dark eyes, and a thin mustache.
Good girl.
Pete.
Pete Cochrane.
Hi, uh... I'm sorry,
you can't park here.
There's a wedding reception.
You don't remember me.
Louise.
Louise Semple, from school.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. You were valedictorian.
The Most Likely to...
The most likely to get a ticket
if you don't get
out of the street.
I live right here... well,
right across the street.
When you finish work,
why don't you come over? I...
I'd like to talk to you.
Yeah, sure. I'll see you around.
(Linc whistles)
LOUISE: It's right
across the street.
You won't forget. Please?
Okay, okay. But, right now,
I've got to get back
to work. Excuse me.
You're excused.
The truck is here, Captain.
Okay, Pete. Be careful.
Solid.
♪ ♪
(sirens wailing)
Captain Greer. I'll take those.
Very public-spirited
of you young people.
You should come
down to my office.
I'll arrange a commendation.
No, thanks.
We don't like cops.
(theme song playing)
WOMAN: Oh, no! Please!
Somebody help! Help!
Help! Please help!
Help! Help!
♪ ♪
Sad little bird.
Yes.
Man, all she needed
was someone to talk to,
and I didn't give
her the chance.
You didn't push her in, Pete.
No... No, I didn't.
I just gave her a little shove.
That's all I did.
Look at her, man.
She's still drowning.
I can't just leave, say
good night, get some rest.
Be careful.
What she means
is, don't get hung up.
Being around all this bread,
it might remind you of home,
and we'd lose you.
Get out of here.
Hey. Let's face it.
You're never going
to win the Olympics.
I'm sorry. No more bad jokes.
Look, you've done
your good deed.
And I'm sorry
your clothes got wet.
Now, will you please go away?
Hey, hey, hey, now.
You asked me to come over
because you wanted to talk.
I'm over.
Well, there really
isn't very much to say.
Now, I fished you out of there.
Don't you think you
owe me just a little bit
of explanation?
While my clothes are drying?
(car approaching)
Good night, Roy.
(engine starts)
Well, well, well.
A moonlight swimming party.
Hiya, stranger!
Mother.
My name is Peter
Cochrane, Mrs. Semple.
Samantha.
Why don't you just
call me Samantha?
Mother, please.
Now, don't be neurotic, darling.
I'm not begrudging
you a little fun.
Mrs... I'm sorry... Samantha...
A few hours ago,
I pulled your daughter
out of the swimming pool
because she tried
to drown herself.
Oh, yes, Mother... I did.
But why?
It's Roy, isn't it?
Darling, please don't hate me.
I'm still young. I've
got a right to live.
Mother, I don't hate you.
Mother, you're 41
years old!
And Roy is how old... 26? 27?
Uh, excuse me.
My clothes are
probably dry; I'll get them.
And I'm going
to call the doctor.
Well, I won't see him!
Oh!
(crying)
(crying)
Please go away.
I want to help you.
Well, you can't.
It's like...
being in the dark
and reaching out,
only there's nobody there
to touch... nobody to tell.
Try me.
Look, sooner or later, you're
going to have to surface.
(phone rings)
Hello.
Hello.
I was hoping you'd call.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it.
Tomorrow?
Well, I'm looking
forward to seeing you, too.
Would you hold on a sec?
Uh... Pete, would you mind?
I think your
clothes are dry now,
and this is personal.
Okay.
Call me the next time
you need a lifeguard.
Yes.
(hand brake clicks)
You sure you want
to do this, Pete?
After that brush
you got last night?
I just want to see
if she's all right.
Maybe she just doesn't
want any company.
Well, then I don't know.
He's got skin trouble.
Yeah, and she's under it.
(doorbell rings)
Her car is still in back.
And she's at home.
You're out here and that's
probably how she wants it.
It's a polite
invitation to get lost.
There was a phone call
yesterday that scared her
and I want to know why.
Oh, man, it's her bag
and she's staying inside it.
(car starts, engine revving)
(tires screeching,
engine roaring)
Linc, yesterday, when
she was on the phone,
there was someone
that she was going
to meet today.
Follow her, please?
There goes our day off.
Man, we can't take on
the woes of the world.
There're too many
wounded birds trying to fly.
(tires squeal)
We're not married, man.
If you want to split, split.
Not me.
I've been a birdwatcher
from way back.
♪ ♪
Linc, keep a string
on him, will ya?
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Lift home, lady?
What are you doing here?
Following you.
I saw you give that
guy some bread.
What are you buying, drugs?
No drugs.
Now will you please
leave me alone?!
Then it has
to be blackmail.
What does he have?
Louise?
What can be that ugly?
Where can I drop you?
Anywhere.
Anywhere but the
hole you're falling into.
It's too hard to crawl out of.
Pete?
Yeah?
Thank you for what
you're trying to do.
Sure.
Pete, are you ever sorry
that you walked
out on your family?
I was kicked out.
Mine's a different scene.
My family walked out on me.
When my father
was living with us,
when they were still together,
my mother was so different.
How long ago did they split up?
About a year ago.
A trial separation.
My father lives in Miami
and sends us money.
And my mother spends it,
trying to prove she's
still 25 years old.
And you're in the middle.
"The Wind and Sea Gallery,
Polynesian art exhibit."
Is that where you're
going to find your answers?
On canvas?
It's better than
a swimming pool.
We lost him.
But I got his license number.
Well, that's groovy.
Thank you, guys.
But in order to run
down a license number
we need the captain.
And I got a pretty
good idea what he'll say.
Attempted suicide,
which you failed to report.
Blackmail, you think, but you've
got no complaining witness.
And for icing, you
lose a suspect.
I repeat:
don't branch out on your own.
Julie got the license number.
"R" something K833.
"R" something, huh?
He was moving so fast.
Well, "R" something gives
us 26 passes at the alphabet.
You've got no case, let it go.
Have a nice weekend.
I'll see you Monday.
Department of Motor Vehicles.
$260?
Wow, she must have
really been in trouble
to have hocked that.
Oh, man, I've got some money.
I saved some at home...
but nowhere near enough.
I got a few bucks of my own.
Well, I always wanted a piece
of a diamond mine.
(waves crashing
onto beach in distance)
Um...
Where did you get that?
I picked your purse...
then went back and got it.
It took all three of us
to get the bread
together, but...
that's what friends are for.
There's no strings.
We just, uh, want you
to tell us what time it is
when you're ready to talk.
Well, I guess the time is now.
That man that I paid?
I don't even know his name.
I don't!
He just called one day
and asked for some money.
And you says,
"Why?" And he said...
Oh, well, that's private.
I-I just can't tell you.
Is it your mother?
I've been there.
She, uh...
leaves her problems around
for other people to clean up.
And you're other people.
He's got pictures...
of my mother and Roy.
Roy Tilson.
You know...
fun time.
If my father ever saw those,
he'd never come back.
And if he doesn't come
back, she'll come apart.
She needs him!
We both need him.
Louise,
why don't you tell your
mother what's happening?
That man said if I did
that, he'd tell my father.
You know, show him the pictures.
I-I can't take that chance.
It may sound corny,
but why don't you call the cops?
Look,
will you forget it, all of you,
and just leave me alone?!
GREER: Chicken!
Is that all you ever have to
eat around here is chicken?
Hey, where were you?
I've been waiting over an hour.
At the beach.
The beach?!
You said take the weekend off.
Yeah, I said off, not off.
He said off...
Julie,
your "something" is L.
What?
License number: RLK-833.
You're buying the
blackmail thing?
Not buying, just shopping.
How'd you get the
license number so fast?
All it takes is a phone call.
The license belongs to a
man called Arthur Quinn.
Programs computers.
Checked him out.
Says he doesn't
know Louise Semple.
He said his car was
taken from the garage,
from where he works.
Turned up a couple hours later.
You believe that?
First thing Monday
morning, you find out.
(tires squeal)
Acme Transmission.
Where's, uh, RLK-833, Mr. Quinn?
It's right over there. Yeah.
But Mr. Quinn didn't tell me
anybody was taking his car.
Oh, no sweat... I'll have
it back right after lunch.
Hold it! Oh, come on, man!
Now, the guy the other
day let me take a car out!
I mean, it's legit, you know?
What guy?
Oh, uh, Rick or Dick.
Big guy, arms like a
gorilla, sandy hair, tall.
None of my crew.
And nobody takes a car out of
here without the owner's permission.
Nobody.
First rate here.
You still haven't got anything!
Captain, Quinn's car
doesn't go anywhere
without Mr. Quinn's permission.
And a blackmailer used it
to make the pickup
from Louise Semple.
Now, are you gonna say Quinn
has nothing to do with anything?
That's not what I said.
I say you have no proof,
and you've gone as far
as you can go. Captain...
I want to review the case.
Will you back off for a while?
Louise Semple still
tried to kill herself.
Louise Semple...
Leave her out of this.
It's on ice.
The weekend is over.
We're now conducting
business as usual.
Now, here's your
next assignment...
Go have lunch.
Oh, Captain, now,
one more... One what?
One ham on rye,
and hold the pickle.
Hello, could I talk to Louise?
Why didn't you ask the captain
if you could use his phone?
Because he told
me to go to lunch.
Hello, Louise?
This is Pete.
Yes. Uh...
What are you gonna do for lunch?
I would like to.
All right. Okay, okay, okay.
No questions.
I promise.
Around the back.
All right. Yeah, I'll find it.
I'll see you later.
Yeah, bye.
The captain said to
go have lunch, right?
He didn't say with who.
Pete...
I'm glad you called.
I was rude before.
Tell your friends I'll pay
them back as soon as I can.
We trust you.
What?
I said we trust you.
And you want me to trust you.
Yes.
Like, where is your
watch, for openers?
You promised...
No questions.
I lied.
Pete, I'll work it out.
Like you tried to
do the last time?
SAMANTHA: Now, stop it!
(Samantha laughing)
Your mother seems
to have friends.
(laughing)
Oh!
Don't you think it's
about time you did?
Roy... stop.
I couldn't very well
bring anybody here to see this.
Roy!
My mother and I
have different tastes.
And what is your taste?
It's funny you should ask that.
Why?
I, uh... I went
to a computer dating
service once to find out.
But why does a pretty
girl like yourself have to go
to a computer dating service?
Because she's lonely.
How did you do?
It was a classic case
of misprogramming.
I wound up with a playboy
who was looking
for a sexy party girl,
fond of...
baseball and dancing.
Roy!
(laughing)
Not quite what I
was looking for.
SAMANTHA: Stop it,
Roy. Don't be so mean.
Roy... (laughing)
Louise, do you, by any chance,
remember the name
of this computer outfit?
Yes. The name is...
the Venus Corporation.
A computer dating service.
Right. And this
Quinn works there.
Now, I know you
told me to lay off,
but I've got to
find out for myself.
Hey, you're beginning
to sound like a cop.
Well, where do we go from here?
You don't.
Julie does.
A police psychologist first,
and then you're ready.
For what?
To date a computer.
It's the Venus
Corporation, isn't it?
Let's send them Venus.
You see, computer
programming is almost a science.
A clever set of questions,
and if one answer
doesn't conform,
the subject will
reveal his true self
without ever knowing it.
Okay, I'll try it again.
Julie, if it's too
tough, we can...
No, I can do it.
I hope so.
And I hope you know
what you're doing, Adam.
The Venus Corporation
is a legitimate
computer dating service.
I met the head, Dr. Griswold,
a very reputable psychologist.
LINC: Except he hired Quinn.
And from Quinn, the string leads
to Louise Semple
being blackmailed.
After she went to the
Venus Corporation for a date.
Now, Griswold probably
doesn't even know.
Quinn is the chief programmer.
He receives and evaluates
all the information before
it goes into the computer.
And he saves the
prize catches for himself
to set up privately.
And so, angel, we
need a very prize catch.
Okay.
All right, we'll try again.
A choice of one.
Your father was...
Now, listen carefully...
An indulgent man?
A tightwad?
Your ideal man?
A failure?
Or you fill in your own answer.
I never knew my father,
Dr. Brennan.
Oh...
That was the old,
the old Julie saying it.
The new Julie would say:
Daddy was a doll...
whoever he was.
And Mommy was a love, too...
on the rare occasions when
she was home and sober.
But, uh... they were
generous, they were generous.
I got oodles of two things:
money...
and loneliness.
Hello.
Hello. Where's the
Venus Corporation?
That's the ninth floor.
They have the whole floor, miss.
The elevator's right over there.
Here you go.
Nine, please.
Venus Corporation?
Sure thing.
(dials one digit)
Give me Mr. Quinn, please.
I've asked you
not to call me here.
RECEPTIONIST: Venus Corporation.
A perfect date,
the perfect mate.
Yes, our hours are
between 9:00 and 5:00.
Good. Looking
forward to seeing you.
Bye-bye.
Now, may I help you?
Not likely.
I came here to get a man.
This one's special.
I just saw her drive in
handling 15 grand worth of car.
I want a date,
dear, not a diploma.
No tests.
But Miss Barnes,
the forms are required.
Look, I don't care.
Any problem?
Miss Barnes, uh...
Look, forget it. Just forget it.
Just a minute. I'll
handle this, Miss Drake.
Now, if you'll just
step this way, please?
My office is right in here.
I'm sure we can straighten
everything out.
Now, Miss, uh... Miss, uh...?
Barnes. Julie Barnes.
Do you, uh... run this outfit?
Well, I program the computer,
so I have to know
something about you
in order to find you a date.
Yes. Well, it's, uh,
really quite simple.
I'm bored and, uh,
some of the kids at school
were dating here, so I thought
I'd come down and try
and meet somebody new.
All right. Age preference?
No limitations. Male.
Surprise me.
Oh, I dig surprises.
That's why I'm here.
I don't want anyone to
know about my family.
Family?
Julie Barnes.
Barnes Manufacturing
and Southwest Transport.
Oh. Of course.
So...
tell your computer
to play it real cool.
And, uh... I have a suite
at the Plaza West Hotel...
where I stay just to be alone.
That'll be my address.
There are things that I do there
I don't want everybody
to know about.
Well, we all have our secrets.
What does that mean?
Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all.
Now, I'll get you some
forms, Miss Barnes.
You'll have to fill them out
so there'll be no mistakes.
Oh, and, uh...
please hurry.
My hairdresser's
waiting for me at the suite.
Mm. I understand.
Yeah. That's the one.
Very nice.
Shh.
Don't let her see you.
"Nice."
That's a definite
understatement.
Rich, big rich.
And bored.
And lonely. Yeah.
Well, that's my pigeon.
You think he's what
I want, Mr. Quinn?
Oh, well.
Well, yes, if you recommend him.
Yes, well, send
him over tonight.
Right.
Roy Tilson, right.
Good-bye.
Roy Tilson?
That's Louise's
mother's boyfriend.
Hey, mellow.
Lay on the boy and the mother,
and then shake down
the daughter because of it.
Oh, wow, is that low.
Take it easy, Julie.
You're talking about your
very own special blind date.
(knocking)
Old Roy's gotta be
the fastest cat in town.
Uh-uh.
Voila!
(in British accent): As long
as the city's picking up the tab,
we might as well
sock it to them.
Thank you.
♪ Ta-dun... ♪
♪ Ta-dun... ♪
♪ Da-dun! ♪
Come and get it.
Listen, you guys eat
and get out of here.
I gotta get dressed.
Every time we get
into a classy joint,
it's time to get out.
And I didn't even
order any doggy bags.
(laughing)
(knocking)
Well, hello.
Julie, I'm Roy.
Come in, Roy.
The, uh... computer
sure knows it's business.
Fun, fun... three
whole days of it, man.
Makes my heart sing.
All that sincere young love.
No, Roy, not here, not here.
Where? And when?
I don't know... maybe tonight.
Oh.
Yeah, well, actually,
I've got a business
date tonight.
You understand, honey.
A man's gotta make a living.
Come on...
A little nightcap, darling?
Not tonight.
What's the matter, Roy?
You've been sort of...
you've been sort
of funny all evening.
I'm tired, that's all.
Too much work.
All right, darling.
But rest up.
We'll go up to Vegas
over the weekend.
Be my treat, how
does that sound?
Sounds great.
(tires screeching)
Good evening, businessman.
How did your conference swing?
Honey, you don't understand.
Honey, I do.
She's old enough
to be your keeper.
It's all over,
believe me. I was...
Lying just like
you're doing now.
Look, do you want me or do you
want that over-the-hill swinger?
Julie, Julie, I love you.
You know that. Great.
Prove it. Get rid of her.
I mean it.
Tomorrow.
It's not easy.
Oh well, it may not
be, but that's my deal.
And, Roy, darling...
I pay for my deals all the way.
Yeah.
All right, Julie, tomorrow.
Satisfied?
Delighted, darling.
ROY: Honey, you
don't understand.
JULIE: Honey, I do.
She's old enough
to be your keeper.
ROY: It's all over,
believe me. I was...
JULIE: Lying just
like you're doing now.
Look, do you want me or do you
want that over-the-hill swinger?
ROY: Julie, Julie, I love you.
You know that.
JULIE: Great.
Prove it. Get rid of her.
I mean it.
Tomorrow.
ROY: It's not easy.
JULIE: Oh, well, it may
not be, but that's my deal.
And Roy, darling...
I pay for my deals all the way.
Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry.
You're sorry.
Oh, no, baby, no.
I... I'm sorry.
God, what a mess
I've made of everything.
It isn't very much of
an excuse, baby, but...
you see, when a woman
isn't very talented or brilliant,
her looks become very big.
Number one.
It gets though she
worries about the years.
They become terribly important.
And then, when your
father went away, I...
well, I guess I just kept
on trying even harder to...
prove that I was
still attractive.
Mother, don't.
It's all right.
All right?
All I've done... I...
I trapped you into
paying blackmail...
embarrassed you, shamed you.
I'm not ashamed.
I'm not ashamed.
I love you, Mother.
Thank you, darling.
Well, uh... I, uh... I just
don't know what to do.
Should I go to the police?
No, I really don't think
that that would help you
get your husband back.
But maybe there's a way.
At least we can try with this.
I don't understand.
Well, I really don't know,
but I've never heard
of a blackmailer
letting go while there's
at least one more dollar
to be had.
Pete...
who are you, really?
Just a friend.
A very good friend, Mrs. Semple.
But...
you're going to
have to trust me...
and help me.
And it might be...
No, it will be...
embarrassing...
and painful for you.
That's good.
When you've been
as foolish as I've been,
you don't rate an easy way out.
What do you want me to do?
That looks just fine.
I'm sorry about Vegas, honey.
Business comes first.
There'll be plenty of
time when you come back.
Well, that's something else
I wanted to talk about... I...
I may be gone
longer than I planned.
I'll still be here.
Well, the point is, I uh...
I'm a little short right now.
I, uh... could use
some expense money.
It would just be
a loan, of course.
Oh, I'm sorry, darling,
my check's a little
late this month.
I'm afraid you'll just have
to find another banker.
Oh.
I'm awfully sorry; that
was very clumsy of me.
Here, let me fix
you another one.
Take it easy, Pete.
She'll be all right.
I wish we were
closer, that's all.
That's all we need
is a mob scene.
Then then whole thing
would go down the drain.
You know, whatever happens,
she's really got to be quite a lady.
Mrs. Semple?
Yeah. Did you see the
look on Louise's face
when her mother put
her arms around her?
That's what it's all about.
(slamming glass down)
All right, what's it all about?
That's funny.
You know, that's the first
time I ever refused you money.
And your charm
suddenly vanishes.
I guess that tells
it all, doesn't it?
Yeah, that tells it all, too.
Good-bye, Roy.
Well, that's fine with me, baby,
as soon as we
transact a little business.
Five big ones
should take care of it.
And your lovely signature.
$5,000, just like that?
And we part friends.
And if I say no?
I wouldn't.
Best investment you'll
ever make, Samantha.
Look what you
get for your money.
What, no negatives?
Someday, you may
even get those back...
if you're nice.
It's an ugly
business, blackmail.
They put people in jail for it.
If someone complains...
But you won't, will you, pet.
How do you think
your hubby would feel
if I showed him
those photographs?
Why don't you ask him?
Darling?
This is my husband.
ADAM: Hello, Roy.
I heard a lot about you.
Couldn't wait to meet you.
Hi, baby.
Did you tell her off yet?
♪ ♪
You ever notice?
A $300 suit is
real sharp on land,
but it's sure a mess of nothing
when you wet it down a little.
(shouting, laughing)
Here, here, here, here!
Hey, come and get it!
Come on.
SAMANTHA: Here you are.
Thank you.
Chicken?
It's been a long time
since I put a picnic together.
How'd I do?
You want to open a restaurant,
you got a partner.
Did I remember to thank you?
We're all even.
Hey, you, uh...
you feel like a
little trip tomorrow?
Whatever you say.
Anyplace in particular?
Miami.
I want to talk to your dad.
Some wife.
A guy could starve to death.
Hey, this is chicken.
(laughing)
GREER: For goodness sake!
(all laughing)