Mod Squad (1968–1973): Season 1, Episode 3 - My What a Pretty Bus - full transcript
Rise, children of happiness.
The fresh fruit man is here.
(clanks)
All right, come on, boys.
Come on, now, let's shake it up.
Tote that barge
and lift that bail.
Show a little spunk
or you'll land in jail.
Now, come on, man.
Come on, quit dragging.
I got places to go
and chicks to see.
Shut up, big mouth!
Oh, baby, you have got it wrong.
Now, I'm the free bird
and you're the loser.
And I don't shut up for you.
Very sloppy,
now, pick it up boy.
Don't call me "boy."
(men clamoring)
My right pocket.
All right, come on, break it up.
Break it up!
Break it up!
Break it up! Come on.
You'll get out some day, baby.
And don't you walk
my side of the street.
You, you name
it and I'll be there.
You get back in your truck.
And you, you stay put,
'cause you're in a sling.
You two work together very well.
Huh?
The way you passed
that little black box
was pretty slick.
Or is that word outdated?
You are, old man.
You're seeing things.
Am I?
What about that pretty
blonde visitor you had
yesterday and the package
you passed to her, huh?
Don't worry, your
secret's safe with me.
I'm just expressing my
professional admiration.
That better be all you're doing.
'Cause if there's any trouble
out of you, you're dead.
Dig?
Dig.
He gets out next week?
Same as us.
Very good, very good.
Three young people
with nerves of steel.
That'll make the caper perfect.
You got three already.
You're talking a six-way split.
Hardly.
Those three delightful kids...
When the job's over, I'm gonna
have to let you dispose of them.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
ADAM: That's right, two
ounces of uncut hard stuff
and a clean thumb print.
I told you, Warden, if we used
a kid, they'd never suspect.
No, don't make a move yet.
Let me get my man
out first and get details.
Thanks, Jim.
(receiver hangs up)
Well, Pete did a good job.
Easy, Captain, you're
getting sentimental.
Has it ever occurred to you
that if you look
good I look good?
How about Pete,
when is he getting out?
What's the hurry?
I thought he looked pretty
groovy in that prison outfit.
A little souvenir from
the Rock Pile Hilton.
Thank you.
We missed you.
Didn't we, Linc?
Eh...
We sure did.
I tell you what.
Just driving in that yard
I got that heavy feeling.
A job's a job.
Well, I'm glad you
got the criminal face.
You know, it's, uh...
kind of like a ball now,
but, man, when that cell door
locks and there's no place to go
but to walk in a
circle six by six...
it's a very freaky feeling.
Almost blew my
mind a couple of times.
Reminded me of the
time when I was a kid.
I did something wrong,
I don't know what it was.
This idiot maid
locked me in a closet.
Well, at least you had a maid.
Hey, at least you had a closet.
All right, I'll turn it off.
When do we eat?
Well, it all depends.
(music plays)
Uh, Linc, how long does
it take to cook pizza?
(music volume
increases) Well, in Roma,
Tony only told me about
a half hour... All right.
(knock at door)
Hey, turn it down!
What?
I think somebody's
knocking. Down!
(music clicks
off, knock at door)
Mr. Cochrane, what a
pleasure to see you again.
What do you want?
Oh, a cool drink for
the wayfarer, perhaps?
I don't think you'd like it.
We use paper cups.
How'd you find me?
I never lost you, my boy.
Oh, no!
Oh, it's ruined
and it's all my fault.
Ah, well, now I see I am
just in time.
No tragedy, my dear.
Excuse me.
I don't believe we've met,
though I've admired
you from a distance.
I'm Herbert Mills.
And you, dear child, are...?
Julie. Julie.
Shakespeare's Juliet
was no peer of yours,
I'm certain.
Do you have a chafing dish?
Hey, do you always come
on like Daddy Warbucks?
Oh, no, cool it, Pete.
I like his style.
And I like yours.
You were very good
in the prison yard.
Your name is...?
Lincoln Hayes. Lincoln.
And Peter.
And the lovely Juliet.
This is going to be a
very profitable partnership.
PETE: What's the bad news?
I'd get a new car.
All right, but in the meantime,
what do we do
with Herbert Mills?
It's ironic.
I plant you in
prison on one case,
you come up with an
entirely different one.
The question is "what?"
I don't know.
He keeps talking about
some big, big caper.
Phase One is tonight.
We're supposed
to hit a warehouse.
Hit a warehouse? Why?
Big mystery.
Something he needs.
Terrific, cops
hitting a warehouse.
I haven't got enough troubles.
All right, just tell
us what to do.
Okay, okay.
We have no choice.
Go along with him.
But keep in touch, huh?
If things get rough,
Herbert Mills could
lose his charm in a hurry.
(glass breaking)
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Where's Lincoln?
He's right behind me.
Now easy, mister.
I ain't got no gun.
Well, I have. Don't move.
Don't worry, mister,
I'm not running.
(alarm ringing)
Let's get out of here.
Not without Linc.
No matter what he says,
don't you start that car.
(blow lands)
(glass breaking)
(alarm continues blaring)
Pete!
(thuds)
(engine starts)
Go!
Paper.
Blank paper.
ADAM: No, I can't figure it out.
I thought you'd
tell me something.
No. What does
the lab report show?
They checked the rag content.
They said the paper was
suitable for counterfeiting.
Does that mean anything?
(blows)
Not so far.
Well, stay on it, huh?
Hey, Captain,
Linc wanted to know
about the guard last night.
Oh, he's fine. He's
more scared than hurt.
What do you mean,
Linc scared him?
You should have heard
his description of Linc.
He said he was a
cross between, uh,
Wilt Chamberlain
and Muhammad Ali.
(both laugh)
Look, Pete...
I'm on a limb with
this paper caper.
You're gonna have to
push a little harder, hmm?
Solid, we'll push.
I mean push as hard as you can.
Let's turn the heat on.
LINC: Muhammad Ali?
(laughter)
Don't slam it please.
I have a soufflé in the oven.
(door slams)
I don't remember
giving you a key.
I took the liberty.
Oh, and I brought
my own chafing dish.
After all, we are confederates.
Some of us are Yankees.
(laughs)
The table looks beautiful.
I'm delighted it
pleases you, dear child.
Allow me.
Thank you.
Maybe I should've
brought my white tie.
I wonder what the poor
people are eating tonight.
I suggest we have a
toast to last night's test...
which you all passed admirably.
That was a test? Mm-hmm.
What do we do next, tear up
the paper and use it for confetti?
No, no, next, we're going to do
something quite different.
We're going to steal a bus.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
All right everybody,
back in the bus.
We're not moving from this spot
until we find out
what this is all about.
Now, Peter, you know
I don't like questions.
We want to know
what's happening.
And we want to know now.
All right.
We're going on a little trip.
We're going to spend
a few delightful days
in a town called Seaside.
Together with thousands
of young people
who are there right now
enjoying their spring vacation
and spending their money.
So let's get back in the bus.
That's not enough.
We want to know
what the caper is.
We want to know
what we have to do
and we want to
know what our cut is.
Otherwise we're
gonna blow it all.
Right here, right now.
Well, in that case,
I guess you'll just
have to blow it.
If you change your
minds, let me know.
(indistinct talking, laughing)
I just want to call this
chick in town for tonight.
Oh, no, no, no, no
calls, remember?
Complete secrecy.
Excuse me, young lady.
You're right where
I'm supposed to stand.
(indistinct conversations)
Do you, uh,
do you mind if I go
powder my nose?
No, of course I don't, dear.
(indistinct
conversations continue)
Julie, where are you?
Seaside?
What's happening?
Well, nothing, he just bought us
some clothes and some cameras.
It's like a vacation.
Keep digging, I'll be
down tomorrow morning.
You can contact me
at the Seaside Police.
I don't know where we'll be.
I have to try and
get to a phone.
You asked me
to call, so I called.
So get off my back!
I got it. Take care.
We weren't gonna
make any phone calls.
Well, that was my Uncle Adam.
He's... he's really a drag
if I don't call in
every few days.
He, uh, sends the
fuzz out looking for me.
Well, we wouldn't want
that, would we, Mr. Mills?
No, we certainly would not.
Have some root beer, dear.
My, what a pretty bus.
All right, groovy.
Are we just gonna
stand here and look at it?
No, you're gonna photograph it.
We're gonna what? I'll
be back in ten minutes.
I want pictures of every inch
of that bus, inside and out.
You keep this
attendant occupied.
We don't want anyone to catch
on to what the boys are up to.
Why not? Trust me, Peter.
How are you doing?
A few more.
Right on the ocean.
What a great
place to have a pad.
Yeah, you'd love it.
Where did you say
you were staying?
Didn't say...
What's he doing?
All the kids in town, he's
checking for stolen cars.
Hey, you!
Yes, sir, officer.
What are you up to?
Just... just waiting around.
Uh-huh, why here?
Why not?
I'm just waiting for a friend.
Does that make me a criminal?
OFFICER: It might.
Look, if you're accusing
me of something
you better tell me
what the charge is.
You just stay here,
I'll take care of
you in a minute.
Look, it's my business
where I wait for my friends.
Are you trying to be smart kid?
Pete, what's the matter?
The officer giving you trouble?
How old are you?
You got an I.D.?
PETE: She's old enough. So am I.
So why don't you just cool it?
You're asking for it kid.
Now knock off
with the big mouth.
I want to see some I.D.'s.
MILLS: Officer!
Is there some difficulty?
You know these kids?
Well, of course I do,
they're my students.
Well, you should teach
them some manners.
I understand.
I can only tell you they're
really very good at heart.
All right.
I'll forget it this time.
But, you be sure
and take care of them.
You have my word, officer.
(gunshots)
Here it is.
Our cozy, isolated headquarters.
Here is where we work
and live from now on.
Who is that?
MILLS: Well, that's Turk.
An old friend. He'll
be working with us.
You didn't tell us about him.
No, but Peter can
give you a reference.
We were all three
fraternity brothers together.
Hey, paper's stacked, Mills!
MILLS: All right, relax.
I'll be in the dark room.
All right, so Turk's a brother?
Yeah, a cell brother.
Well, what's he doing here?
I don't know.
Maybe he got time
off for good behavior.
Anything?
Nothing.
Okay, but keep an
eye on those stairs.
(door opens)
Pete. Pete...
Hi, Turk.
How's it going upstairs?
You look real happy.
Bye, Turk.
I think I'm in love.
Here's a map of Seaside.
Think that line could
be a route of some kind?
Could be, but it just looks like
an old seaside road to me.
Hmm.
Hey, wait a minute, man!
There's a shipping
order and freight bill
from the SS Wilke,
to Herbert Mills.
"Freighter SS Wilke
ship one micro-bus,
destination, Rio de Janeiro,
departing on the 17th."
That's tomorrow.
(repetitive rattling)
What is it?
Some... sounds like
one of those, I don't know,
duplicator things.
Or a printing press.
Lovely, my dear, just lovely.
Well, I got to hand
it to you, Mr. Mills.
It sure is a fun game.
You got two motorcycles,
we're making an exact
copy of a psychedelic bus.
If you can show me how
this leads to a big payoff.
I'm with you.
You just stick around
for the finale, my boy.
Pete?
How are you doing there?
You want my opinion
about this whole thing?
I think that you're a phony,
and I think that this
is one big put-on.
Well...
just keep on... working.
They look pretty good, Turk.
Let me have your
car keys will you?
It's almost time to meet Mason.
Here.
Don't stay away too long.
Those kids are bugging me.
I know.
What are they doing up there?
Sounds like they're
stacking bills.
Counterfeit money,
duplicate buses,
this place...
I don't know, maybe the captain
can figure this
thing out, but I can't.
Well, he's not gonna
be here until tomorrow,
so we've got to keep thinking.
There's got to be
a tie somewhere.
Well, Mills keeps talking about
kids spending money, you know,
hundreds of thousands
of dollars in profits.
Yeah, but all that money
isn't in any one place.
But suppose it was?
Suppose that all this bread
was collected and
stuck into one place,
for safekeeping, like a bank.
Why?
It's really kind of
easy to figure out.
With all these
strange kids in town
I would imagine that
the local establishment's
a little nervous.
You know, riots...
robbery.
LINC: We all know what
bad cats those kids are.
But man, if you're
right about the money...
and it is in one place...
Wow, what a heist that would be!
Council of war, huh?
We've got ears, Mills.
You figured everything out?
LINC: Just the
counterfeiting part.
Well, that's a good start.
It's an intricate
puzzle, isn't it?
Yes, indeed it is.
Now why don't you
tell us the rest of it?
Well, I have a
short drive to make.
I'll tell you what.
When I get back I'll give
you a few more details.
Turk, I'm leaving now!
Keep an eye on things.
Julie, stall him.
I've got to get to his car.
Pete.
Just go.
Mr. Mills?
Mr. Mills?
Yes, dear.
Couldn't I go with you?
I mean, I'm just getting to
feel so cooped up in there.
No, no, no, dear, I'm sorry,
not this time.
JULIE: Oh no, look, look.
Please, it's not that.
It's that, uh, it's
that friend of yours.
He's really giving
me the creeps.
Oh, now...
It's just that he
doesn't say anything.
You mustn't concern
yourself about Turk.
He's really a delightful fellow.
He'll talk when the time comes.
I tell you what.
You make the best of things now.
I promise when
everything's finished
I'll give you a real treat.
Hmm? You do that.
(trunk opens)
(door opens)
(door closes)
♪ ♪
He made it.
And he'll be all right, Julie.
He'll be all right.
Hey, let's stay outside.
It'll make the waiting easier.
♪ ♪
I'd like to know why,
if the route's the same,
did I have to change
the time of departure?
The other board
members overruled me.
They think their
shipment plan is so perfect
it'll work in broad
daylight. Yeah.
How could I argue
without raising suspicions?
I know.
The question is: is my little
counterplan going to work
in broad daylight?
All right, okay.
We can make it work.
The amount.
Oh, here.
Broken down by denominations.
Mm-hmm. And the loading plan.
And be sure you use those bags
from the Merchants Exchange.
I know.
Mills, do you really
think it's going to work?
It's going to work so well
nobody is even going
to know it happened.
Is our friend still working?
Yeah, he's still stomping on it.
You amaze me sometimes.
Huh?
How do you know so
much about counterfeiting?
I had a second cousin
just this side of the law.
We had a big family...
Cousins specializing in
almost anything you can name...
all walks of life.
Well, not all.
Anywhere we could walk.
Must be great to
have a big family.
I envy you that.
I used to envy all the
other kids at school.
They had fathers, good
times... and birthdays.
See these clothes
that Mills bought me?
Yeah.
That was almost like the
birthday that I never had.
(door closes)
Where's Pete?
Well, what do you know?
He talks.
All right, in the house.
Hey... hey, hey, man.
Hey, come on now,
man, that's no toy.
Now, I told you, he probably
went down toward the beach.
Good news, everybody.
What's the matter?
Your friend is a little uptight.
MILLS: Where's Pete?
LINC: He's on the beach.
He probably went for a swim.
MILLS: Went for a swim
at this hour of night?
Well, he was running
up and down the beach.
Exercise, you know?
He must have worked up a sweat.
I have the distinct feeling
that you're not telling
the truth, Lincoln.
The water's wild.
Well, I'm glad you're
refreshed, Peter,
because we have a
big night ahead of us
and a job to do in the morning.
(laughing): What
do we have to do?
Steal hubcaps?
No, this time it's
half a million dollars.
There it is.
Now we separate it into
fives, tens, 20s, and 50s,
and there's more coming.
I've never seen so much
money, phony or not.
Well, this is the
evidence we need.
Now how do we get
ahold of the captain?
We don't.
We see this thing
all the way through.
We pull the caper,
then we pull the plug.
But what about the captain?
No, Julie, he's right.
We pull the plug now
and they'll burn the
money and blow the caper.
Then what have we got?
We've got to see it through.
Otherwise, it's all
been for nothing.
Shh.
Let's count it very carefully.
We need exactly $568,000.
The rest we'll burn.
Juliet,
you and Pete will
be on the bikes.
I'll give you
instructions later.
Just keep one thing in mind.
From my post,
you'll be under observation
every step of the way.
That's just in case
anyone decides
to go into business for himself.
And put the money in these bags.
♪ ♪
All right, men,
take your positions.
That does it.
$568,000 even.
Uh, forgetting something?
Oh, sorry.
I guess I feel a
little like a jerk.
How'd you feel last year
when your armored
car was hijacked?
Look, it's a very sound plan.
No one would ever
suspect a hippie bus
of carrying a half a million
dollar profit of vacation week,
not in a town
that's full of buses
like this.
Now get going.
The Federal Reserve is
expecting you in three hours.
Good luck.
Thank you.
(tires screeching)
(motorcycle roaring)
That's what I call scenery.
Yeah, man.
Almost time.
Would you explain
something to me?
Mm-hmm.
We switch buses,
we take the real bus,
the phony bus goes on
to the Federal Reserve...
And the phony money
goes in the vaults
and it's months before
anybody even finds out about it.
Hey, Mills, won't the guard
know we switched this bus?
Not if Pete and
Julie do their job.
(tires screeching)
(tires screeching)
What's that idiot doing?
(tires screeching)
(inaudible)
(tires screeching)
You know we're not
supposed to make a stop.
We can't just leave her.
Besides, who's going
to bother a hippie bus?
Okay.
(grunts)
Harry!
Get your hands up!
Just, just take it easy, man.
It's no big thing.
She's not hurt.
We were only fooling around.
Miss?
Forget it.
I don't want my
parents to find out.
I'll just get in trouble.
Okay, kid, you get home.
What about him?
We'll take care of him.
You go on.
You're a regular Hell's
Angel, aren't you?
(groans)
(motorcycle engine revving)
I wonder where Pete is.
He should be back by now.
Oh, don't worry, my dear.
Let's, let's have a
little more to drink.
Huh?
Let's drink to our
smashing victory!
And to my partners, one and all.
What's the matter
with this wine?
Old man, I gotta hand it to you.
You had it figured
right to the last move.
Now I'll just finish them off.
No, no, no, Turk.
Please.
You'd ruin the
perfect caper here.
Let me have it, I'll
show you what we do.
Don't you realize
they're just kids?
When they come
to and find I'm gone
and the money's
gone, they'll run away.
So will Mason.
But not you Turk.
You'd follow me.
And one day, you'd
catch up with me.
Oh, come on, Mills!
This your wheel?
It's stolen.
You some kind of wise guy?
Look, all I'm trying to tell you
is I know it's stolen
because I'm a cop.
I see. You're a cop.
Look, if you don't believe me,
go call Seaside Police Station
and ask for Captain Greer.
We have no Captain Greer.
One hand.
My I.D.
(coughing)
Seaside Police?
This is six-two Highway.
I got some kind of
kook here, says...
Exactly what he says he is.
Put him on.
He's dead, Julie.
Come on, Julie,
let's get out of here.
That's right, Captain,
it's on the Beach Road.
I'll meet you there, over.
Let's move out.
(engine revving)
I don't think I can
walk any further.
Now keep the faith, baby.
We gotta find Pete.
Yeah but nobody's
gonna pick us up.
They think we're on a trip.
(men laughing)
MAN: Hey. Hey.
Hey.
Hey, get in, hey.
Come on!
Go for a ride.
(laughing)
Come on, hey, that's it.
Walk on our car, beautiful.
Hey, Pete!
(car tires screeching)
Hey!
Hey, Mills took off.
We washed the bus.
It's all in blue now.
We head for the docks.
Why?
Remember?
The SS Wilke?
Solid.
Follow us.
RADIO DISPATCH: One
L-38, phone station 25042.
OFFICER: One L-21, Roger.
PETE: Seaside patrol five, this is
62 Highway, do you read me, over.
ADAM: Roger 62 Highway, this
is Seaside Patrol five, go ahead.
PETE: Captain... Pete.
I have Mills in sight.
Repeat. I have Mills in sight.
Crossing bridge
to the docks, over.
ADAM: Okay, Pete, stay with him.
I'm practically there.
Come on.
(siren wailing)
(tires screeching)
(explosion)
(siren wailing)
All right get back!
Everybody get back. Get back.
Move! Back!
(siren blaring)
Julie!
(explosion)
Wow, what a crazy trip!
Roger, I understand.
Give me Seaside, again.
Captain, a ride home?
Linc and Julie are beat.
I know Pete. In a minute.
Seaside.
My, what a pretty bus.
Only now it looks like
a Julie Barnes pizza.
For someone with no
sleep, you're very funny.
I'm funny when I'm hungry.
I'm hungry when I'm hungry.
The captain said we
can go home in a minute.
How do you guys feel?
BOTH: Hungry!
Now wait a minute.
You mean after all
this running around,
all you can come
up with is "hungry"?
The Maharishi said.
"Never drink champagne
out of a paper cup."
Where was Ma Harishi
when we needed her?
(laughing)
Hey, Pete, what's the matter?
I'm... I'm just happy
to see you guys.
Private party?
No...
it's a family reunion.
Care to join?
Do I qualify?
You're getting there.
Let's go home.
The fresh fruit man is here.
(clanks)
All right, come on, boys.
Come on, now, let's shake it up.
Tote that barge
and lift that bail.
Show a little spunk
or you'll land in jail.
Now, come on, man.
Come on, quit dragging.
I got places to go
and chicks to see.
Shut up, big mouth!
Oh, baby, you have got it wrong.
Now, I'm the free bird
and you're the loser.
And I don't shut up for you.
Very sloppy,
now, pick it up boy.
Don't call me "boy."
(men clamoring)
My right pocket.
All right, come on, break it up.
Break it up!
Break it up!
Break it up! Come on.
You'll get out some day, baby.
And don't you walk
my side of the street.
You, you name
it and I'll be there.
You get back in your truck.
And you, you stay put,
'cause you're in a sling.
You two work together very well.
Huh?
The way you passed
that little black box
was pretty slick.
Or is that word outdated?
You are, old man.
You're seeing things.
Am I?
What about that pretty
blonde visitor you had
yesterday and the package
you passed to her, huh?
Don't worry, your
secret's safe with me.
I'm just expressing my
professional admiration.
That better be all you're doing.
'Cause if there's any trouble
out of you, you're dead.
Dig?
Dig.
He gets out next week?
Same as us.
Very good, very good.
Three young people
with nerves of steel.
That'll make the caper perfect.
You got three already.
You're talking a six-way split.
Hardly.
Those three delightful kids...
When the job's over, I'm gonna
have to let you dispose of them.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
ADAM: That's right, two
ounces of uncut hard stuff
and a clean thumb print.
I told you, Warden, if we used
a kid, they'd never suspect.
No, don't make a move yet.
Let me get my man
out first and get details.
Thanks, Jim.
(receiver hangs up)
Well, Pete did a good job.
Easy, Captain, you're
getting sentimental.
Has it ever occurred to you
that if you look
good I look good?
How about Pete,
when is he getting out?
What's the hurry?
I thought he looked pretty
groovy in that prison outfit.
A little souvenir from
the Rock Pile Hilton.
Thank you.
We missed you.
Didn't we, Linc?
Eh...
We sure did.
I tell you what.
Just driving in that yard
I got that heavy feeling.
A job's a job.
Well, I'm glad you
got the criminal face.
You know, it's, uh...
kind of like a ball now,
but, man, when that cell door
locks and there's no place to go
but to walk in a
circle six by six...
it's a very freaky feeling.
Almost blew my
mind a couple of times.
Reminded me of the
time when I was a kid.
I did something wrong,
I don't know what it was.
This idiot maid
locked me in a closet.
Well, at least you had a maid.
Hey, at least you had a closet.
All right, I'll turn it off.
When do we eat?
Well, it all depends.
(music plays)
Uh, Linc, how long does
it take to cook pizza?
(music volume
increases) Well, in Roma,
Tony only told me about
a half hour... All right.
(knock at door)
Hey, turn it down!
What?
I think somebody's
knocking. Down!
(music clicks
off, knock at door)
Mr. Cochrane, what a
pleasure to see you again.
What do you want?
Oh, a cool drink for
the wayfarer, perhaps?
I don't think you'd like it.
We use paper cups.
How'd you find me?
I never lost you, my boy.
Oh, no!
Oh, it's ruined
and it's all my fault.
Ah, well, now I see I am
just in time.
No tragedy, my dear.
Excuse me.
I don't believe we've met,
though I've admired
you from a distance.
I'm Herbert Mills.
And you, dear child, are...?
Julie. Julie.
Shakespeare's Juliet
was no peer of yours,
I'm certain.
Do you have a chafing dish?
Hey, do you always come
on like Daddy Warbucks?
Oh, no, cool it, Pete.
I like his style.
And I like yours.
You were very good
in the prison yard.
Your name is...?
Lincoln Hayes. Lincoln.
And Peter.
And the lovely Juliet.
This is going to be a
very profitable partnership.
PETE: What's the bad news?
I'd get a new car.
All right, but in the meantime,
what do we do
with Herbert Mills?
It's ironic.
I plant you in
prison on one case,
you come up with an
entirely different one.
The question is "what?"
I don't know.
He keeps talking about
some big, big caper.
Phase One is tonight.
We're supposed
to hit a warehouse.
Hit a warehouse? Why?
Big mystery.
Something he needs.
Terrific, cops
hitting a warehouse.
I haven't got enough troubles.
All right, just tell
us what to do.
Okay, okay.
We have no choice.
Go along with him.
But keep in touch, huh?
If things get rough,
Herbert Mills could
lose his charm in a hurry.
(glass breaking)
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Where's Lincoln?
He's right behind me.
Now easy, mister.
I ain't got no gun.
Well, I have. Don't move.
Don't worry, mister,
I'm not running.
(alarm ringing)
Let's get out of here.
Not without Linc.
No matter what he says,
don't you start that car.
(blow lands)
(glass breaking)
(alarm continues blaring)
Pete!
(thuds)
(engine starts)
Go!
Paper.
Blank paper.
ADAM: No, I can't figure it out.
I thought you'd
tell me something.
No. What does
the lab report show?
They checked the rag content.
They said the paper was
suitable for counterfeiting.
Does that mean anything?
(blows)
Not so far.
Well, stay on it, huh?
Hey, Captain,
Linc wanted to know
about the guard last night.
Oh, he's fine. He's
more scared than hurt.
What do you mean,
Linc scared him?
You should have heard
his description of Linc.
He said he was a
cross between, uh,
Wilt Chamberlain
and Muhammad Ali.
(both laugh)
Look, Pete...
I'm on a limb with
this paper caper.
You're gonna have to
push a little harder, hmm?
Solid, we'll push.
I mean push as hard as you can.
Let's turn the heat on.
LINC: Muhammad Ali?
(laughter)
Don't slam it please.
I have a soufflé in the oven.
(door slams)
I don't remember
giving you a key.
I took the liberty.
Oh, and I brought
my own chafing dish.
After all, we are confederates.
Some of us are Yankees.
(laughs)
The table looks beautiful.
I'm delighted it
pleases you, dear child.
Allow me.
Thank you.
Maybe I should've
brought my white tie.
I wonder what the poor
people are eating tonight.
I suggest we have a
toast to last night's test...
which you all passed admirably.
That was a test? Mm-hmm.
What do we do next, tear up
the paper and use it for confetti?
No, no, next, we're going to do
something quite different.
We're going to steal a bus.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
All right everybody,
back in the bus.
We're not moving from this spot
until we find out
what this is all about.
Now, Peter, you know
I don't like questions.
We want to know
what's happening.
And we want to know now.
All right.
We're going on a little trip.
We're going to spend
a few delightful days
in a town called Seaside.
Together with thousands
of young people
who are there right now
enjoying their spring vacation
and spending their money.
So let's get back in the bus.
That's not enough.
We want to know
what the caper is.
We want to know
what we have to do
and we want to
know what our cut is.
Otherwise we're
gonna blow it all.
Right here, right now.
Well, in that case,
I guess you'll just
have to blow it.
If you change your
minds, let me know.
(indistinct talking, laughing)
I just want to call this
chick in town for tonight.
Oh, no, no, no, no
calls, remember?
Complete secrecy.
Excuse me, young lady.
You're right where
I'm supposed to stand.
(indistinct conversations)
Do you, uh,
do you mind if I go
powder my nose?
No, of course I don't, dear.
(indistinct
conversations continue)
Julie, where are you?
Seaside?
What's happening?
Well, nothing, he just bought us
some clothes and some cameras.
It's like a vacation.
Keep digging, I'll be
down tomorrow morning.
You can contact me
at the Seaside Police.
I don't know where we'll be.
I have to try and
get to a phone.
You asked me
to call, so I called.
So get off my back!
I got it. Take care.
We weren't gonna
make any phone calls.
Well, that was my Uncle Adam.
He's... he's really a drag
if I don't call in
every few days.
He, uh, sends the
fuzz out looking for me.
Well, we wouldn't want
that, would we, Mr. Mills?
No, we certainly would not.
Have some root beer, dear.
My, what a pretty bus.
All right, groovy.
Are we just gonna
stand here and look at it?
No, you're gonna photograph it.
We're gonna what? I'll
be back in ten minutes.
I want pictures of every inch
of that bus, inside and out.
You keep this
attendant occupied.
We don't want anyone to catch
on to what the boys are up to.
Why not? Trust me, Peter.
How are you doing?
A few more.
Right on the ocean.
What a great
place to have a pad.
Yeah, you'd love it.
Where did you say
you were staying?
Didn't say...
What's he doing?
All the kids in town, he's
checking for stolen cars.
Hey, you!
Yes, sir, officer.
What are you up to?
Just... just waiting around.
Uh-huh, why here?
Why not?
I'm just waiting for a friend.
Does that make me a criminal?
OFFICER: It might.
Look, if you're accusing
me of something
you better tell me
what the charge is.
You just stay here,
I'll take care of
you in a minute.
Look, it's my business
where I wait for my friends.
Are you trying to be smart kid?
Pete, what's the matter?
The officer giving you trouble?
How old are you?
You got an I.D.?
PETE: She's old enough. So am I.
So why don't you just cool it?
You're asking for it kid.
Now knock off
with the big mouth.
I want to see some I.D.'s.
MILLS: Officer!
Is there some difficulty?
You know these kids?
Well, of course I do,
they're my students.
Well, you should teach
them some manners.
I understand.
I can only tell you they're
really very good at heart.
All right.
I'll forget it this time.
But, you be sure
and take care of them.
You have my word, officer.
(gunshots)
Here it is.
Our cozy, isolated headquarters.
Here is where we work
and live from now on.
Who is that?
MILLS: Well, that's Turk.
An old friend. He'll
be working with us.
You didn't tell us about him.
No, but Peter can
give you a reference.
We were all three
fraternity brothers together.
Hey, paper's stacked, Mills!
MILLS: All right, relax.
I'll be in the dark room.
All right, so Turk's a brother?
Yeah, a cell brother.
Well, what's he doing here?
I don't know.
Maybe he got time
off for good behavior.
Anything?
Nothing.
Okay, but keep an
eye on those stairs.
(door opens)
Pete. Pete...
Hi, Turk.
How's it going upstairs?
You look real happy.
Bye, Turk.
I think I'm in love.
Here's a map of Seaside.
Think that line could
be a route of some kind?
Could be, but it just looks like
an old seaside road to me.
Hmm.
Hey, wait a minute, man!
There's a shipping
order and freight bill
from the SS Wilke,
to Herbert Mills.
"Freighter SS Wilke
ship one micro-bus,
destination, Rio de Janeiro,
departing on the 17th."
That's tomorrow.
(repetitive rattling)
What is it?
Some... sounds like
one of those, I don't know,
duplicator things.
Or a printing press.
Lovely, my dear, just lovely.
Well, I got to hand
it to you, Mr. Mills.
It sure is a fun game.
You got two motorcycles,
we're making an exact
copy of a psychedelic bus.
If you can show me how
this leads to a big payoff.
I'm with you.
You just stick around
for the finale, my boy.
Pete?
How are you doing there?
You want my opinion
about this whole thing?
I think that you're a phony,
and I think that this
is one big put-on.
Well...
just keep on... working.
They look pretty good, Turk.
Let me have your
car keys will you?
It's almost time to meet Mason.
Here.
Don't stay away too long.
Those kids are bugging me.
I know.
What are they doing up there?
Sounds like they're
stacking bills.
Counterfeit money,
duplicate buses,
this place...
I don't know, maybe the captain
can figure this
thing out, but I can't.
Well, he's not gonna
be here until tomorrow,
so we've got to keep thinking.
There's got to be
a tie somewhere.
Well, Mills keeps talking about
kids spending money, you know,
hundreds of thousands
of dollars in profits.
Yeah, but all that money
isn't in any one place.
But suppose it was?
Suppose that all this bread
was collected and
stuck into one place,
for safekeeping, like a bank.
Why?
It's really kind of
easy to figure out.
With all these
strange kids in town
I would imagine that
the local establishment's
a little nervous.
You know, riots...
robbery.
LINC: We all know what
bad cats those kids are.
But man, if you're
right about the money...
and it is in one place...
Wow, what a heist that would be!
Council of war, huh?
We've got ears, Mills.
You figured everything out?
LINC: Just the
counterfeiting part.
Well, that's a good start.
It's an intricate
puzzle, isn't it?
Yes, indeed it is.
Now why don't you
tell us the rest of it?
Well, I have a
short drive to make.
I'll tell you what.
When I get back I'll give
you a few more details.
Turk, I'm leaving now!
Keep an eye on things.
Julie, stall him.
I've got to get to his car.
Pete.
Just go.
Mr. Mills?
Mr. Mills?
Yes, dear.
Couldn't I go with you?
I mean, I'm just getting to
feel so cooped up in there.
No, no, no, dear, I'm sorry,
not this time.
JULIE: Oh no, look, look.
Please, it's not that.
It's that, uh, it's
that friend of yours.
He's really giving
me the creeps.
Oh, now...
It's just that he
doesn't say anything.
You mustn't concern
yourself about Turk.
He's really a delightful fellow.
He'll talk when the time comes.
I tell you what.
You make the best of things now.
I promise when
everything's finished
I'll give you a real treat.
Hmm? You do that.
(trunk opens)
(door opens)
(door closes)
♪ ♪
He made it.
And he'll be all right, Julie.
He'll be all right.
Hey, let's stay outside.
It'll make the waiting easier.
♪ ♪
I'd like to know why,
if the route's the same,
did I have to change
the time of departure?
The other board
members overruled me.
They think their
shipment plan is so perfect
it'll work in broad
daylight. Yeah.
How could I argue
without raising suspicions?
I know.
The question is: is my little
counterplan going to work
in broad daylight?
All right, okay.
We can make it work.
The amount.
Oh, here.
Broken down by denominations.
Mm-hmm. And the loading plan.
And be sure you use those bags
from the Merchants Exchange.
I know.
Mills, do you really
think it's going to work?
It's going to work so well
nobody is even going
to know it happened.
Is our friend still working?
Yeah, he's still stomping on it.
You amaze me sometimes.
Huh?
How do you know so
much about counterfeiting?
I had a second cousin
just this side of the law.
We had a big family...
Cousins specializing in
almost anything you can name...
all walks of life.
Well, not all.
Anywhere we could walk.
Must be great to
have a big family.
I envy you that.
I used to envy all the
other kids at school.
They had fathers, good
times... and birthdays.
See these clothes
that Mills bought me?
Yeah.
That was almost like the
birthday that I never had.
(door closes)
Where's Pete?
Well, what do you know?
He talks.
All right, in the house.
Hey... hey, hey, man.
Hey, come on now,
man, that's no toy.
Now, I told you, he probably
went down toward the beach.
Good news, everybody.
What's the matter?
Your friend is a little uptight.
MILLS: Where's Pete?
LINC: He's on the beach.
He probably went for a swim.
MILLS: Went for a swim
at this hour of night?
Well, he was running
up and down the beach.
Exercise, you know?
He must have worked up a sweat.
I have the distinct feeling
that you're not telling
the truth, Lincoln.
The water's wild.
Well, I'm glad you're
refreshed, Peter,
because we have a
big night ahead of us
and a job to do in the morning.
(laughing): What
do we have to do?
Steal hubcaps?
No, this time it's
half a million dollars.
There it is.
Now we separate it into
fives, tens, 20s, and 50s,
and there's more coming.
I've never seen so much
money, phony or not.
Well, this is the
evidence we need.
Now how do we get
ahold of the captain?
We don't.
We see this thing
all the way through.
We pull the caper,
then we pull the plug.
But what about the captain?
No, Julie, he's right.
We pull the plug now
and they'll burn the
money and blow the caper.
Then what have we got?
We've got to see it through.
Otherwise, it's all
been for nothing.
Shh.
Let's count it very carefully.
We need exactly $568,000.
The rest we'll burn.
Juliet,
you and Pete will
be on the bikes.
I'll give you
instructions later.
Just keep one thing in mind.
From my post,
you'll be under observation
every step of the way.
That's just in case
anyone decides
to go into business for himself.
And put the money in these bags.
♪ ♪
All right, men,
take your positions.
That does it.
$568,000 even.
Uh, forgetting something?
Oh, sorry.
I guess I feel a
little like a jerk.
How'd you feel last year
when your armored
car was hijacked?
Look, it's a very sound plan.
No one would ever
suspect a hippie bus
of carrying a half a million
dollar profit of vacation week,
not in a town
that's full of buses
like this.
Now get going.
The Federal Reserve is
expecting you in three hours.
Good luck.
Thank you.
(tires screeching)
(motorcycle roaring)
That's what I call scenery.
Yeah, man.
Almost time.
Would you explain
something to me?
Mm-hmm.
We switch buses,
we take the real bus,
the phony bus goes on
to the Federal Reserve...
And the phony money
goes in the vaults
and it's months before
anybody even finds out about it.
Hey, Mills, won't the guard
know we switched this bus?
Not if Pete and
Julie do their job.
(tires screeching)
(tires screeching)
What's that idiot doing?
(tires screeching)
(inaudible)
(tires screeching)
You know we're not
supposed to make a stop.
We can't just leave her.
Besides, who's going
to bother a hippie bus?
Okay.
(grunts)
Harry!
Get your hands up!
Just, just take it easy, man.
It's no big thing.
She's not hurt.
We were only fooling around.
Miss?
Forget it.
I don't want my
parents to find out.
I'll just get in trouble.
Okay, kid, you get home.
What about him?
We'll take care of him.
You go on.
You're a regular Hell's
Angel, aren't you?
(groans)
(motorcycle engine revving)
I wonder where Pete is.
He should be back by now.
Oh, don't worry, my dear.
Let's, let's have a
little more to drink.
Huh?
Let's drink to our
smashing victory!
And to my partners, one and all.
What's the matter
with this wine?
Old man, I gotta hand it to you.
You had it figured
right to the last move.
Now I'll just finish them off.
No, no, no, Turk.
Please.
You'd ruin the
perfect caper here.
Let me have it, I'll
show you what we do.
Don't you realize
they're just kids?
When they come
to and find I'm gone
and the money's
gone, they'll run away.
So will Mason.
But not you Turk.
You'd follow me.
And one day, you'd
catch up with me.
Oh, come on, Mills!
This your wheel?
It's stolen.
You some kind of wise guy?
Look, all I'm trying to tell you
is I know it's stolen
because I'm a cop.
I see. You're a cop.
Look, if you don't believe me,
go call Seaside Police Station
and ask for Captain Greer.
We have no Captain Greer.
One hand.
My I.D.
(coughing)
Seaside Police?
This is six-two Highway.
I got some kind of
kook here, says...
Exactly what he says he is.
Put him on.
He's dead, Julie.
Come on, Julie,
let's get out of here.
That's right, Captain,
it's on the Beach Road.
I'll meet you there, over.
Let's move out.
(engine revving)
I don't think I can
walk any further.
Now keep the faith, baby.
We gotta find Pete.
Yeah but nobody's
gonna pick us up.
They think we're on a trip.
(men laughing)
MAN: Hey. Hey.
Hey.
Hey, get in, hey.
Come on!
Go for a ride.
(laughing)
Come on, hey, that's it.
Walk on our car, beautiful.
Hey, Pete!
(car tires screeching)
Hey!
Hey, Mills took off.
We washed the bus.
It's all in blue now.
We head for the docks.
Why?
Remember?
The SS Wilke?
Solid.
Follow us.
RADIO DISPATCH: One
L-38, phone station 25042.
OFFICER: One L-21, Roger.
PETE: Seaside patrol five, this is
62 Highway, do you read me, over.
ADAM: Roger 62 Highway, this
is Seaside Patrol five, go ahead.
PETE: Captain... Pete.
I have Mills in sight.
Repeat. I have Mills in sight.
Crossing bridge
to the docks, over.
ADAM: Okay, Pete, stay with him.
I'm practically there.
Come on.
(siren wailing)
(tires screeching)
(explosion)
(siren wailing)
All right get back!
Everybody get back. Get back.
Move! Back!
(siren blaring)
Julie!
(explosion)
Wow, what a crazy trip!
Roger, I understand.
Give me Seaside, again.
Captain, a ride home?
Linc and Julie are beat.
I know Pete. In a minute.
Seaside.
My, what a pretty bus.
Only now it looks like
a Julie Barnes pizza.
For someone with no
sleep, you're very funny.
I'm funny when I'm hungry.
I'm hungry when I'm hungry.
The captain said we
can go home in a minute.
How do you guys feel?
BOTH: Hungry!
Now wait a minute.
You mean after all
this running around,
all you can come
up with is "hungry"?
The Maharishi said.
"Never drink champagne
out of a paper cup."
Where was Ma Harishi
when we needed her?
(laughing)
Hey, Pete, what's the matter?
I'm... I'm just happy
to see you guys.
Private party?
No...
it's a family reunion.
Care to join?
Do I qualify?
You're getting there.
Let's go home.