Mistresses (2008–2010): Season 3, Episode 2 - Episode #3.2 - full transcript
Jessica and Mark have an unwelcome visit from the bailiffs after he has omitted to tell her of his huge debts. As a result she stops her fertility treatment as being too expensive. Unemployed Richard feels emasculated as Trudi immerses herself in her work,taking Chris on as her business partner. He lends a sympathetic ear to Katie,who is shocked to learn that her father had a long-standing affair which her mother kept from her. Dominic gets married, with Siobhan as his 'best man',despite the fact that on the eve of the wedding,when they were drunk,she tried to kiss him and he fought her off. Trudi misses the wedding,due to a crisis at work,where Chris helps her out and he is rewarded for his efforts by a passionate embrace. Katie,on the other hand,pulls away when Richard tries it on with her at a slow dance at the reception.
I am working and juggling and
I'm trying hard to keep our lives
and all I seem to get from you
is tight-lipped martyrdom!
Mother! You're supposed
to be in Cape Town!
'I found a ring in his stuff.'
This is Alice, my fiancee.
So what next? IVF.
Katie?
He's my friend. No, he's the
husband of your oldest friend.
If it's a matter of money,
I'm very happy to help.
If you did, she must never know.
What I am interested in
is buying companies like yours.
Trudi, this is everything we've been
waiting for! Richard, enough!
I really don't think I'm the person
you should be bringing your problems
to. Sorry, I'm just not.
Thank you.
Pros and cons.
Right.
Pros. One, you could finally
take up salsa classes.
Salsa classes?
When have I got time for salsa
classes?
If you weren't working, you would.
I don't even like salsa.
Since when?
I never did. It's too...thrusty.
Where are the cons?
Couldn't think of any.
Hm-hmm.
Come on, Trudes.
Wouldn't you rather be
a bit less stretched
in all directions?
Richard...
Wouldn't you rather be twirled
instead?
Richard! We can't both retire because
we might have paid off the mortgage.
There's university.
There's big white weddings.
Weddings? Who'd marry them?
Very funny.
I'm serious.
We barely have pensions.
I'm still going to have to work.
Why?
For a financial adviser, you...
No, I mean why does it have to be
you? It could be me.
It could be both of us.
You don't think I can earn
as much as you, do you?
You don't think I can get another
job.
That's not true, Richard.
Of course that's not true.
I just want the best for our girls.
Yes, so do I.
OK, come on.
Elsa!
Ooh.
SHE GIGGLES
Sorry. Sorry.
Oh, God...
Morning.
Morning.
SHE SIGHS
Where have you been?
I just wanted to
get you some flowers.
We're going to be late.
What time's the appointment?
Now.
It's going to work.
I can feel it.
DOORBELL RINGS
Go away.
Who is it?
Er, no-one. No-one.
Can I help you?
Mark Hardy?
Yeah.
Who are these guys?
Bailiffs?!
We've been instructed by your
creditors to claim goods from you.
Against your debts, Mr Hardy.
What?!
Don't be ridiculous. Mark?
Can you just confirm that
this is your property, Mr Hardy?
It's OUR property. Mark?
It's a mistake.
Well, you heard him, it's a mistake.
There's no mistake.
What? Hang on a minute.
You can't just come...
Mark, what the hell is going on?
It's a mistake.
No, no, no. Not that one.
That's too tomboyish.
OK. Look, this was my idea,
my project,
and I know how it works, all right?
Of course you do.
There's nothing quite like
the voice of experience.
You have got to be kidding me.
No, I'm not kidding you.
How do you think I met Dale?
Now look, this one.
It says fun yet sophisticated.
Go ahead, do it.
You sure you don't want
to come with me?
You go. Anything you want is yours.
The auctioneer will get rid
of the rest.
OK, I'm ready.
Ooh! It's beautiful.
Yeah, you look stunning.
Thank you.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Come on. Let me in!
Let's have a look.
No, Dom! It's bad luck!
Oh, come on! Let me in! That's just
some ridiculous old superstition.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Oh, give me a break!
What's the matter?
Oh, it's girls' night,
I can't find a sitter.
Well, I could look after Elsa.
I thought we were going out.
You could still go out.
Yeah. You could come out with me.
With us.
Yeah, you must.
Great. Thanks.
I can't wait to meet your friends.
Oh, they can't wait to meet you,
either!
KNOCK AT DOOR
Hold on.
I... I can come back.
What are you doing here?
Looking for the title deeds,
for your mother.
I was supposed to do it yesterday.
Oh.
But you're here,
and I'm sure you'd rather be alone.
I can come back.
Richard...
Wait! Just...
Come on! We own that.
Mark, aren't you going to do
something?!
I can pay you back,
there's no need for this!
It's sharp practice, sending
the heavies round.
My wife is distraught.
Let me write you out a cheque.
Sorry.
I can pay you cash.
Look, talk to your creditors.
No! No! Wait!
Look, I saved for that for years.
Who are you calling?
Siobhan - we need some advice.
I will handle this.
Find anything interesting?
Couple of incriminating photos
of me with braces and a perm.
Not the kind of picture
you want on your dating profile.
You're doing internet dating?
It's purely to get Vivienne
off my back.
You probably think it's just saddoes
and losers, don't you?
No. I just didn't think...
I mean...you could have your pick.
Is it safe?
What?
How do you know who you're meeting?
Who's vetting them?
Well, I don't know,
I haven't been on any dates yet.
Well, tell me when you do.
There's a lot of shady men
on those websites
just looking for one thing.
Oh, please! You sound like my dad!
And dangerous men
who literally want to bore you
to death
with boring stories
about their boring lives.
Right.
What's on this pile?
Mostly correspondence.
Think there might even be
some love letters.
It's not my mother's style.
I shouldn't...
I shouldn't read these, should I?
No, I wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't, no.
Oh, God, just one.
Right...
Aha! At last!
My work here is finally done.
It's not my mother's style at all.
What sort of timescale
were you thinking?
Well, we could start negotiations
today...
if you like.
The ball's in your court.
Er, there are a lot of players
in my court.
So, it's not
a black-and-white situation, then?
No, they think it's positively
monochrome.
They want me to sell.
And what will Team Trudi
have you do next?
Salsa classes, apparently.
Ah! You can't really have your cake
and eat it, can you?
You can.
If by eating it you mean
being a workaholic, insomniac,
divorced father-of-three.
You know how it goes.
Well...
Apart from the insomnia.
Me, I pass out, sleep like a baby.
Lucky you.
I'm sorry. About the divorce.
When did you split up?
Five years. My wife got bored
of me being too busy for her,
high-fiving myself.
Maybe you should have packed it all
in.
And taken up dance lessons?
Yeah, maybe I should have.
Look, maybe you shouldn't
jump to conclusions.
You know, they could be from a
friend.
"Even though you can never be mine
alone,
I can only ever be yours. Jane.
"Kiss."
It was 1980. I was just a kid.
Look at this. Look at this.
The happy family.
He was my father!
Everyone has flaws, Katie.
We all have secrets.
Oh, my poor mother.
What am I going to do?
I don't think there's anything you
CAN do.
It's a long time ago.
God, I wish I hadn't read
those letters.
If he was still around,
what would you do?
I would kill him!
I don't know. I don't know.
I would ask him who...
How... How did it happen?
Were things between them really
that bad?
So ask him.
In your head.
And then try to forget it.
Let it go.
You lied to me.
No, I didn't.
You told me that deal
was in the bag.
I didn't lie to you.
I might have let you believe...
Come on! Are you being serious?
What do you expect, Jess?
We're sitting across the room
from the most exclusive
fertility expert in town,
your choice,
and somehow I've got to pay for it.
Our choice, Mark.
Hey! Our choice.
I'll go on my own.
I'll put it on my credit card.
This isn't a deal, you know.
Just because we're shaking.
OK, I haven't agreed to anything
yet.
Have I?
No.
I would have had to spit
on my hand first.
LAUGHS
Right, this is your down-regulator.
And you can start it on day 21.
Do you know where you are today?
Day 20.
Perfect! You can start it tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
That comes to a total of £550.
There's a baby in there.
Oh...
You look...nice.
Do I?
Yes.
Thank you.
Lunch with Sally and Muriel.
Did you find what you wanted?
Um... The deeds.
Richard was there?
Mm-hm.
Anything else?
No. No, um, just old photos.
Silly things.
Mm.
Well... Have fun with the girls.
You too.
You're not still going out, are you?
Well, I'm not spending the night
sitting on the floor,
looking at your "sorry" face.
Mark, you're going to have to get a
job.
I can't get a job.
I don't even own a tie!
I'll never make a dent in it
if I get a job.
It wouldn't be for ever.
It's just some security for now.
Jess, I'll never get us out of this
if I'm punching in and out every day.
Look, you won't tell them, will you?
SIGHS
I've had enough embarrassment
for one day.
Good day?
Weird day. Just family stuff.
You want to talk about it?
No, thank you.
How about you?
Um... Oh, just trying to imagine
my life after cake.
Take the money and run, Trudi.
That's what Richard says.
Well, he's got a point. You've done
nothing but work the last few years.
You could spend more time together.
Did he say that to you?
No.
No, he didn't...
We don't talk about that kind of
thing.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
How'd it go at the clinic?
Er... Yeah, it was great, yeah...
I got my drugs.
All systems go.
You and Mark will make beautiful
babies.
Yeah.
In a test tube.
Don't look now.
The eagle has landed.
My God, is that her?
Hell, she is...
Young.
Thin.
Sexy.
There they are.
Oh.
Hello.
ALL: Hey!
Alice, this is...
Let me guess.
Jessica, Trudi...and you must be
Katie.
Hello.
Hi! Oh...
Oh, give me a hug.
Hi. Hello. Hi, Katie, wow...
Do you want me to spike her drink?
No!
Stop it, I'm fine.
Sure? Mm-hm.
She's lovely.
OK.
OK, two French Martinis,
two Bellinis...and Jess?
Sparkling water.
I've used up my units this week.
Your units?
Yeah, I'm going to be spending
thousands on IVF, so...
..better give it my best shot.
Jess?
I'm sorry.
I'm such a neurotic mess already!
Oh, that's natural.
Do you remember when I was trying
for Cathy? I was bla-la-la-la...
Are you feeling broody, Alice?
Me? God, no.
I'm not even 30.
I've got at least ten years
of freedom
before I even have to think about it.
Or not.
Mm, quite right.
I like Alice.
Yeah, so I do.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
You're just pretending to like her
because you have no choice.
TRUDI: What's not to like?
She's sweet.
Yeah, but don't you think
she's a bit picture perfect?
She's from New York.
They're all picture perfect over
there.
Oh, face it, Jessica. We like her.
We like her more than we like you.
The lady protests.
It's only five minutes ago
you were contemplating accepting
a proposal from her intended.
Madness. An aberration.
Man, you've changed.
The old Siobhan would have
given her a run for her money.
Jess, I appreciate your
hormonally-heightened support,
but I'm not giving anyone
a run for their money.
I had my chance and I gave it away.
Several times.
Dominic is marrying Alice,
and I'm very, very happy for him.
There.
Can we all please just drop it?
I made a few calls.
I've got a job interview lined up.
Good.
Was it OK at the clinic on your own?
Yeah, it was fine.
When do you start?
Tomorrow.
What?
What if it doesn't work?
It'll work. And I'll be there
at the next appointment.
With you.
Hm?
OK.
Er, Amy likes wholegrain mustard.
Since when?
Latest fad.
No, just Amy.
Cathy's into mayonnaise now.
And Gina?
A little cracked black pepper.
It'll be something else next week.
Wasabi or...
Why aren't you dressed for work?
I am taking the day off.
I'm going to get the girls to school,
have lunch with you.
No way! Social death.
I've got a school committee meeting
at lunch time.
I thought everyone
wanted to see more of me.
We do! But you never said.
Why don't you see if Katie's
free for lunch? Cheer her up a bit.
Cheer her up?
Hm.
Oh... I thought she...
She didn't tell you?
What?
She found these letters
up at the old house.
Between her father and his lover.
Oh, my God!
And she told you that?
No, no. Well...
I was there.
Oh, of course.
Poor Katie.
Well, I'm glad you were there.
Right. One mustard.
One mayo.
One black pepper.
I really appreciate
you giving me this chance.
I know we haven't always...
seen eye to eye.
We're lucky to have you on board.
Probably not as dynamic as you're
used to.
But there's great opportunities
here. You could do
very well for yourself.
Well, just tell me how.
Impress me.
Let's get you a headset.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Oh, my God. It's him.
"I can't wait to meet you. Mike."
Two kisses. Ugh!
He sounds nice.
You don't think it's a good idea.
No. I... I think it's great.
Then why are you doing that thing?
What thing?
That thing with your forehead.
That worried look.
Er...
What?
Oh, it's nothing. It's just....
Richard told me he was with you
yesterday when
you found out about your dad.
Oh.
I mean, Katie, that must have been
horrible for you.
I know how much your dad
meant to you.
And I want you to know that although
I'm not around a lot at the moment,
you can call me any time.
Oh, I know. I know.
And the only reason that I didn't
was because I was trying
to let it go, you know.
It's stupid self-help book advice.
Well, it's good advice.
After you've stayed up all night
drinking and talking it over
with your girlfriends.
Do you like it?
Oh! Yeah, yeah. It's very romantic.
Do you think it's a...
a good reflection of us?
Oh. I hadn't really thought about
that.
Exactly. Nobody thinks about it.
They just check the diary,
say yes or no,
then chuck the invitation in the bin.
Well, is it? A good reflection?
Alice thinks it captures our essence.
I'd have been happy with an e-mail.
Did she choose your best man
as well?
Oh! Who is your best man?
You?
No, not a chance.
Why not?
Because...
Because it's so...butch.
It's the last thing I'll ask of you.
I promise.
After that,
I'll be out of your hair for good.
Hey.
Trude. But it's your day off.
What? Don't you trust me?
Um, let's not pull that thread.
These are the figures
for the last quarter.
That's fine.
Hey.
Don't mind me.
I just have a few things to do.
It'll be like I'm not even here.
Really.
I should move.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You sit right there.
In my chair.
I'm absolutely fine with it.
And you've been through these?
That's it.
Thanks for coming in.
Find everything you need?
Thank you.
Ready to talk numbers?
No.
No?
No. No, I'm sorry. Um...
OK, you want to buy my cakes,
my recipes, my brand,
and own them for ever.
And you want to sit in my chair.
And I don't think
you can put a number on that.
I don't think you can afford me.
Will you excuse me?
It's traditional
to wait and hear the offer...
Even haggle a bit.
I don't want to hear the offer.
Are you seriously pulling out?
I am in love with this place.
I made it. From nothing.
And I'm good at it.
I don't want to...let it go.
It would have been professional
to be more open about your
reservations.
But we never had a deal.
I can pull out any time I want to...
Good luck, Trudi.
But you never spat in your hand.
Would you like to try them on?
Hm.
Madam?
Oh. It's not mine. It's not for me.
They're perfect, thank you.
I didn't actually want to wear a
ring, but Alice insisted.
Dom, can I ask you something?
As a friend.
Anything.
How well do you and Alice know each
other?
Intimately. We're...
connected.
Right.
What?
Having lots and lots of great sex,
and knowing someone intimately
is not the same thing as being
connected.
Well, technically,
I think you'll find that it is.
Stop being cute.
You know what I mean.
It doesn't last,
all this...friskiness.
What's going to keep you two
together when you need Viagra
and she's got a headache?
Well, kids, obviously.
Yeah, well, I don't think children
are high on her to-do list.
You don't know that.
You barely even know her.
Neither do you!
Dominic, I'm worried about you,
that you're rushing into things.
Why does it matter to you so much if
I am?
It matters, because...
you're my friend.
I know what this is really about.
You're jealous.
That's ridiculous. I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You're jealous because Alice and I
have a normal, happy, active sex
life,
whilst you, for some bizarre reason,
decided to lock yourself away in a
tower
like some born-again virgin.
You're not supposed
to talk to me like that.
And you are supposed to be happy
for me.
I need you to be happy for me.
Why does it matter to you so much
if I am?
Because... Because you and I...
SIGHS
..are friends.
Thank you.
A reasonable start.
But it's less about the smooth
talking,
Mark, and more about the targets.
If you don't make the targets...
I'll make the targets.
SIGHS
You're going to be late for Mike.
Bloody hell, Mother.
Don't be nervous.
Remember, you're choosing him.
When I met Dale...
No, no, no, no.
Please. No dating stories.
Oh, God. Put that away.
I can't bear looking at old photos.
Why not?
Vanity.
Vanity?
But you look beautiful.
Better go.
Yes, we'd been together a couple of
years
and we decided to get married,
you know.
It was a perfectly normal thing
to do.
It all seemed to be going fine and...
you know, we had the same
expectations
as everybody else, and then...
..then things started to go awry
and her behaviour became...
shall we say, confused.
And it just got worse and worse
until...
it wasn't going to get better.
The divorce was hard.
Worse for me.
But it happened.
Another bottle?
Yes, please.
This is fun, isn't it?
Lovely.
The thing is...
If I'd known she was bisexual...
..I never would have proposed.
I mean, why would she not tell me
that?
Maybe I should have guessed.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Sorry.
We'd go to a party.
She'd be talking to everyone.
Flirting with everyone.
Well, flirting with everyone
except me, of course.
I suppose it is amusing, isn't it?
Oh, yes. Um, only in a very sad way.
But we can't be sad for ever,
can we?
I mean, we have to move on,
as they say...
INHALES
..because if you don't move on,
you stay stuck.
In a rut.
And you don't move anywhere.
And we wouldn't be here now,
would we? No.
Oh.
Hello.
Hi.
You're back.
Yes.
Well, I'm glad. Because I...
I wanted to apologise
for leading you on.
In business terms.
I mean, that's business speak.
Yes, it is.
Apology accepted.
Good.
Well, bye.
I've been thinking about the kind
of investment you might need here.
Really?
You're right to be proud
of this place, Trudi.
You shouldn't sell it
if it means that much to you.
But you should make it even better.
Thank you.
And I'd like to help you do that...
if you'll have me.
Of course I'll have you.
Um, in business terms.
Business terms.
Yeah.
Oh, come here.
Isn't this is a little bit
unprofessional?
Terribly.
OK, good.
OK. Lamb dansak, pilau rice,
poppadoms,
Peshwari naan, beer, whisky.
Happy stag.
Er, Alice and I ate at the hotel.
Dom, I'm sorry.
Please, I'd rather not talk...
No, I shouldn't have said those
things.
No. No, you shouldn't.
Look, Alice...
She's amazing. OK?
She's up for it, for having a laugh,
for anything, and...
We want to be together.
Now, I respect the fact that you
don't want that from anyone.
But I do.
I panicked.
About Elsa and I
losing you from our lives again.
You're not going to lose me.
OK.
Can we at least...
..get absolutely langered?
OK.
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
Hiya.
Hey.
I didn't know you were planning
something special.
I was sorry I couldn't spend
the day with you.
Thank you.
So, how was it?
How was what?
Being a lady of leisure.
Oh, yeah, yeah, nice.
Oh, I had lunch with Katie.
Great!
And then I went to the office.
And Chris Webb was there.
Mmm?
And I decided not to sell.
Not to sell?
You decided?
Well, Chris is going to invest
instead.
What do you think?
Well, you know what I think.
How could you make a decision like
this
without speaking to me?
Well, it just sort of happened.
Look, I think this could be good for
us.
It'll free me up and I can be around
more.
How can you expand the business
AND be around more?
Oh, no. I can hire someone,
I can train them up,
and then I can go in later,
leave early.
Sorry, I don't get it, Trudi.
I thought you wanted to come home.
This morning you were all for it.
No-one needs me at home.
Yes, they do. We all do.
And what's more,
home used to make you happy.
I don't want to be a housewife again.
Well, did it ever occur to you that
I might want to be
more than a househusband?
So get a job.
Get your career back on track.
We can't both have careers, Trudi.
I think the girls have suffered
quite enough abandonment.
Are you accusing me
of being a bad mother?
No!
No.
But this was a chance
to go back to the way things were.
Selling homemade buns
out of Tupperware boxes.
And drinking cava
out of plastic cups.
Things were easier. And fun.
Things were awful!
They weren't awful. I...
But we were broke, Richard.
And we are not any more,
thanks to the bakery.
Yes, and there would be no bakery
if I wasn't here,
making it possible for you
to work every hour God sends.
I know that.
So this is it, is it?
You get what you want
and I get to be some kind of...
some kind of glorified nanny
that shares your bed,
the benefits being few and far
between.
Why can't you be happy about this?
Why can't you be proud of me?
Because I never see you.
And when I do see you,
you treat me like one of your staff.
What?!
I do not! I do not treat you...
No, you're right. You don't.
If you did,
you'd treat me with more respect.
LAUGHTER
BEEPING
SNORING
She got the snoring from you.
What? No. From you.
Oh, boy.
Thanks.
Thanks for a great stag.
That's what your best woman's for.
I never thought
you'd be my best woman.
Just thought you'd be my...
Hm.
Just goes to show you never can...
What are you doing?
I don't know.
OK, you...
You really are drunk.
For an Irishwoman,
you really can't hold your whisky.
CHUCKLES
Ohh...
Shit.
Richard?
I won't let it take over our lives.
I promise.
It already has.
I'm going to change that.
You've done it now, Trudi,
so just leave it.
You're going to work?
Yeah, there's been a mix-up
with an order
and I have to go and sort it out.
I thought we'd go together.
Yes, I know, and I'm sorry.
Look, it'll only be for a few hours.
I will change there and I'll see you
at the registry office.
Did you want me to help you choose?
No, thank you.
There's a slight improvement here,
Mark.
Keep...
Keep trying.
Have you seen my...? Ah!
I just wanted to see
what all the fuss was about.
What was so great about memory lane.
I didn't want you to find out.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I should have left that stupid
letter in the house.
Or burned it, or...
I'm so sorry.
No, I'm the one who should be sorry.
I thought I'd sent her back
all their mementoes.
You knew about this?
When? When did you find out?
How long?
I knew from the start.
18 years.
18 years.
My...entire childhood.
You let me believe we were a family.
We were.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not a family. That is a lie.
No wonder you can't look
at all those photos.
We're all happy and smiling
and it's all fake!
You were happy. We made sure of that.
God! I have been feeling so sorry
for you,
keeping this terrible secret,
and you knew
and you just put up with it!
I'm sorry. I did all I could
to hide it from you.
Why? I had a right to know.
Katherine, my relationship
with your father was private.
It was between us.
It was none of your business.
And, quite frankly, you had no right
to read his correspondence.
He was my father!
He was my husband!
You were only a child.
My child.
You idolised him.
And I could never...
I would never...damage that.
What about this damage, hm?
You and me?
Good to go?
You tell me.
Yep. You're good to go.
Just here.
Thanks.
Looking for Mark?
Yeah. Hi. Um... I'm his wife.
I bought him some new ties
for the office
because he's only got one.
Mark doesn't work here any more.
Well, he's only just started.
I fired him.
He has a problem with authority.
Mark is brilliant at his job.
He certainly thinks so.
God!
Ooh!
I thought we could seal the deal
with something more hygienic
than spitting.
Thank you.
Um, wedding, and I'm late.
Please tell me
you've got it under control.
Not so much.
Chef's come down with swine flu,
the van's broken down
and I might have forgotten
to order vanilla pods.
Do you have to go, Trudes?
My husband will divorce me
if I don't go!
I can help.
You should go, be with Richard.
Seriously, I'll stay.
OK, do you even know
what a vanilla pod looks like?
Um...
Yeah. OK.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hello.
I can't come.
Yes, you can. You have to come.
Look, I have no choice.
I've got no chef.
I don't care, Trudi.
We haven't been out
on our own together since you
started that bloody bakery.
Look, I'll get there.
It'll just be later.
Maybe you shouldn't bother
coming at all!
Look, I am sorry, Richard.
But it's just... It's critical.
Critical?!
Trudi, it's just cake!
Um, look, I, um...
I'm not going to go to the wedding.
You can go.
Thank you.
All the same, I'd like to help.
If I could please ask you
to stand to welcome the bride?
BAROQUE MUSIC
Oh, I am sorry for stirring.
I just always thought
he was your soul mate.
Oh, I've lots of soul mates.
You're my soul mate.
Aw!
Come on, let's go and get trashed
on free champagne.
Hang on. I thought you were
looking out for your units?
I... I don't feel ready for IVF.
But you seemed so set on it.
You started all the horrible drugs,
and everything.
Yeah, I know. I think that's part
of it, you know?
It's unnatural.
And it's expensive
and there's no guarantees.
Yeah, but it's not like
you don't have the money.
Oh, God, no. We have the money.
Well, I know.
I'm just...surprised.
You seem to have
changed your mind overnight.
Look, I know what I'm doing, OK?
OK, everyone. The first collection is
in 20 minutes, so keep the pace up,
yes?
ALL: Yes, Chef.
45 more seconds.
Trudes...
One more tablespoon of 85%. Sifted.
Right.
Let me.
Look. Watch.
There you go. See?
TIMER BUZZES
Very good.
So it only remains for me
to say that Alice
is the luckiest girl in the world.
Hear! Hear!
Can we raise a glass, please,
for the bride and groom?
ALL: The bride and groom!
Thank you.
I kept this for you.
Thank you. That's...thoughtful.
Nice speech.
Easy subject.
# Got the hazy, hazy janes
# I turn to you
# And inhale where you lay
# Took a wander through the garden
# To await the long, long day
# And then roll for a while... #
I do want all this, Dom.
I just...
don't know how to do it.
# ..Oh, you kiss my lips again
and again and again... #
Do I get a go?
Yes, of course.
# ..And then we would watch the sun
coming up easy
# While the rain came tumbling down
# And it washed our bodies so cleanly
# We could see them rise up... #
Vol-au-vent?
Liquids only, thanks.
Still no Trudi?
Er, no.
Wow! That must be some cake crisis.
Hm. She's not selling.
Oh.
You happy about that?
I would appear to have
very little to do with it.
We're not really talking.
I'm sorry.
She thinks I'm not proud of her,
and I am incredibly proud of her.
It's just...
SIGHS
..sometimes it feels like
the cake comes first.
But tonight, Trudi's loss is your
gain.
I've got a sitter till midnight
and I intend to party.
Well, in that case, Richard,
you've got yourself a partner in
crime.
Don't be a stranger.
# I like to party
# I like to party. #
You like to party?
Oh, yeah.
# Just write it down
# And I'll go
# But you skate around my human skin
# An apple where your throat begins
# Just say
# Just tell the stars to give a sign
# Put it in a bottle
# Say you're mine... #
Hey, baby.
Nice wedding?
Mm-hm.
Good day at work?
Oh, yeah. It's child's play,
this nine-to-five lark.
I'll obviously be MD in no time.
I didn't want to upset you.
A fight with your boss
on your second day?!
He was riling me, Jess.
It was some kind of power trip
for him, and it was humiliating.
No, this is humiliating!
OK, listen. Let's just calm down.
There's no need to worry.
This is me we're talking about.
I've already sorted something else
out. You're a liar!
Why is it so hard for you
to do one thing for me?
Jess, you're overreacting. Come on.
We're going to have a baby.
Everything's going to be fine.
We're not going to have a baby.
I've cancelled the treatment.
What?!
This is chaos, Mark!
Do you really think
I could bring a child into this?
I need some air.
Wait, Jess. Listen, I'll get another
job. Tomorrow.
And I'll stick at it.
What's the point?
You'll never make a dent in it,
will you?
No.
No?
SHOUTS: No!
Jess, please don't leave me, Jess.
I know I don't deserve you,
but I don't know what to do
without you.
I...
I don't know what I'll do.
I'm just going for a walk.
I'm scared.
I'm not leaving you, Mark.
You're my husband...
And...
HE SOBS
You're my husband.
HE SOBS
Good night.
Good night.
Look at you, you're a mess!
SHE LAUGHS
I'm the novice.
Whereas you...
You're really talented.
Sweat and tears.
That's not what I saw.
Well, you didn't do badly yourself.
I'm a fast learner,
and I had a good teacher.
You could give classes.
Who's going to come and listen to me
banging on about cake?
I'd come, especially
if you were wearing that dress.
Um...
I'd better phone Richard. See if I've
got time to toast the bride
and groom.
There you are.
Should've worn my dancing shoes.
Sorry.
No. Don't be. I needed that.
She knew, Richard.
My mother.
She knew all along.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
It's OK. Take it.
No, no, no. It's not important.
Hi, this is Richard. Sorry I can't
take your call at the moment...
You OK?
Yeah.
Let's have our own toast.
Um, yeah. You want to do the honours?
You are a married man. Twice.
Why didn't they just break up?
They probably stayed together
for you.
That's what we do, isn't it?
Stick it out when we have children.
Make marital blind spots.
I always wanted to find
someone just like him.
I don't even know
who he was any more.
He was your dad.
Bit of a shagger, but still your dad.
How do you do that?
What?
Tell a completely inappropriate joke
at an inappropriate time
and somehow get it right?
Hm.
I don't always get it right.
I'd better go. Make sure she's OK.
Bye.
Bye.
We're not doing this.
I am not doing this.
# Seven seconds away
# Just as long as I stay... #
I mean, look at us.
Sitting here...
Yep. Dressed for a wedding.
Sipping champagne.
From a plastic cup.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
I'm just...
Hey.
My carriage is about
to turn into a pumpkin.
Um, thank you for staying with me.
Isn't this terribly unprofessional?
A little.
But you look like you need a hug.
I do.
No, no, no. Just a hug.
I'm sorry. You were upset. I, er...
What, you thought you'd kiss it
better?!
Yeah.
Chris Webb and me.
I don't know why I did it.
Is this about cash? Is this why
I've been excluded from
your girls' nights out?
We need to talk about this.
I think I just agreed to a date.
What's he like? Is he good-looking?
HORN BLASTS
It's Richard. What?
Have you told her
you borrowed ten grand?
I think it's time you left.
It's me again. Don't hang op.
Do you still love Richard?
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
I'm trying hard to keep our lives
and all I seem to get from you
is tight-lipped martyrdom!
Mother! You're supposed
to be in Cape Town!
'I found a ring in his stuff.'
This is Alice, my fiancee.
So what next? IVF.
Katie?
He's my friend. No, he's the
husband of your oldest friend.
If it's a matter of money,
I'm very happy to help.
If you did, she must never know.
What I am interested in
is buying companies like yours.
Trudi, this is everything we've been
waiting for! Richard, enough!
I really don't think I'm the person
you should be bringing your problems
to. Sorry, I'm just not.
Thank you.
Pros and cons.
Right.
Pros. One, you could finally
take up salsa classes.
Salsa classes?
When have I got time for salsa
classes?
If you weren't working, you would.
I don't even like salsa.
Since when?
I never did. It's too...thrusty.
Where are the cons?
Couldn't think of any.
Hm-hmm.
Come on, Trudes.
Wouldn't you rather be
a bit less stretched
in all directions?
Richard...
Wouldn't you rather be twirled
instead?
Richard! We can't both retire because
we might have paid off the mortgage.
There's university.
There's big white weddings.
Weddings? Who'd marry them?
Very funny.
I'm serious.
We barely have pensions.
I'm still going to have to work.
Why?
For a financial adviser, you...
No, I mean why does it have to be
you? It could be me.
It could be both of us.
You don't think I can earn
as much as you, do you?
You don't think I can get another
job.
That's not true, Richard.
Of course that's not true.
I just want the best for our girls.
Yes, so do I.
OK, come on.
Elsa!
Ooh.
SHE GIGGLES
Sorry. Sorry.
Oh, God...
Morning.
Morning.
SHE SIGHS
Where have you been?
I just wanted to
get you some flowers.
We're going to be late.
What time's the appointment?
Now.
It's going to work.
I can feel it.
DOORBELL RINGS
Go away.
Who is it?
Er, no-one. No-one.
Can I help you?
Mark Hardy?
Yeah.
Who are these guys?
Bailiffs?!
We've been instructed by your
creditors to claim goods from you.
Against your debts, Mr Hardy.
What?!
Don't be ridiculous. Mark?
Can you just confirm that
this is your property, Mr Hardy?
It's OUR property. Mark?
It's a mistake.
Well, you heard him, it's a mistake.
There's no mistake.
What? Hang on a minute.
You can't just come...
Mark, what the hell is going on?
It's a mistake.
No, no, no. Not that one.
That's too tomboyish.
OK. Look, this was my idea,
my project,
and I know how it works, all right?
Of course you do.
There's nothing quite like
the voice of experience.
You have got to be kidding me.
No, I'm not kidding you.
How do you think I met Dale?
Now look, this one.
It says fun yet sophisticated.
Go ahead, do it.
You sure you don't want
to come with me?
You go. Anything you want is yours.
The auctioneer will get rid
of the rest.
OK, I'm ready.
Ooh! It's beautiful.
Yeah, you look stunning.
Thank you.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Come on. Let me in!
Let's have a look.
No, Dom! It's bad luck!
Oh, come on! Let me in! That's just
some ridiculous old superstition.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Oh, give me a break!
What's the matter?
Oh, it's girls' night,
I can't find a sitter.
Well, I could look after Elsa.
I thought we were going out.
You could still go out.
Yeah. You could come out with me.
With us.
Yeah, you must.
Great. Thanks.
I can't wait to meet your friends.
Oh, they can't wait to meet you,
either!
KNOCK AT DOOR
Hold on.
I... I can come back.
What are you doing here?
Looking for the title deeds,
for your mother.
I was supposed to do it yesterday.
Oh.
But you're here,
and I'm sure you'd rather be alone.
I can come back.
Richard...
Wait! Just...
Come on! We own that.
Mark, aren't you going to do
something?!
I can pay you back,
there's no need for this!
It's sharp practice, sending
the heavies round.
My wife is distraught.
Let me write you out a cheque.
Sorry.
I can pay you cash.
Look, talk to your creditors.
No! No! Wait!
Look, I saved for that for years.
Who are you calling?
Siobhan - we need some advice.
I will handle this.
Find anything interesting?
Couple of incriminating photos
of me with braces and a perm.
Not the kind of picture
you want on your dating profile.
You're doing internet dating?
It's purely to get Vivienne
off my back.
You probably think it's just saddoes
and losers, don't you?
No. I just didn't think...
I mean...you could have your pick.
Is it safe?
What?
How do you know who you're meeting?
Who's vetting them?
Well, I don't know,
I haven't been on any dates yet.
Well, tell me when you do.
There's a lot of shady men
on those websites
just looking for one thing.
Oh, please! You sound like my dad!
And dangerous men
who literally want to bore you
to death
with boring stories
about their boring lives.
Right.
What's on this pile?
Mostly correspondence.
Think there might even be
some love letters.
It's not my mother's style.
I shouldn't...
I shouldn't read these, should I?
No, I wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't, no.
Oh, God, just one.
Right...
Aha! At last!
My work here is finally done.
It's not my mother's style at all.
What sort of timescale
were you thinking?
Well, we could start negotiations
today...
if you like.
The ball's in your court.
Er, there are a lot of players
in my court.
So, it's not
a black-and-white situation, then?
No, they think it's positively
monochrome.
They want me to sell.
And what will Team Trudi
have you do next?
Salsa classes, apparently.
Ah! You can't really have your cake
and eat it, can you?
You can.
If by eating it you mean
being a workaholic, insomniac,
divorced father-of-three.
You know how it goes.
Well...
Apart from the insomnia.
Me, I pass out, sleep like a baby.
Lucky you.
I'm sorry. About the divorce.
When did you split up?
Five years. My wife got bored
of me being too busy for her,
high-fiving myself.
Maybe you should have packed it all
in.
And taken up dance lessons?
Yeah, maybe I should have.
Look, maybe you shouldn't
jump to conclusions.
You know, they could be from a
friend.
"Even though you can never be mine
alone,
I can only ever be yours. Jane.
"Kiss."
It was 1980. I was just a kid.
Look at this. Look at this.
The happy family.
He was my father!
Everyone has flaws, Katie.
We all have secrets.
Oh, my poor mother.
What am I going to do?
I don't think there's anything you
CAN do.
It's a long time ago.
God, I wish I hadn't read
those letters.
If he was still around,
what would you do?
I would kill him!
I don't know. I don't know.
I would ask him who...
How... How did it happen?
Were things between them really
that bad?
So ask him.
In your head.
And then try to forget it.
Let it go.
You lied to me.
No, I didn't.
You told me that deal
was in the bag.
I didn't lie to you.
I might have let you believe...
Come on! Are you being serious?
What do you expect, Jess?
We're sitting across the room
from the most exclusive
fertility expert in town,
your choice,
and somehow I've got to pay for it.
Our choice, Mark.
Hey! Our choice.
I'll go on my own.
I'll put it on my credit card.
This isn't a deal, you know.
Just because we're shaking.
OK, I haven't agreed to anything
yet.
Have I?
No.
I would have had to spit
on my hand first.
LAUGHS
Right, this is your down-regulator.
And you can start it on day 21.
Do you know where you are today?
Day 20.
Perfect! You can start it tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
That comes to a total of £550.
There's a baby in there.
Oh...
You look...nice.
Do I?
Yes.
Thank you.
Lunch with Sally and Muriel.
Did you find what you wanted?
Um... The deeds.
Richard was there?
Mm-hm.
Anything else?
No. No, um, just old photos.
Silly things.
Mm.
Well... Have fun with the girls.
You too.
You're not still going out, are you?
Well, I'm not spending the night
sitting on the floor,
looking at your "sorry" face.
Mark, you're going to have to get a
job.
I can't get a job.
I don't even own a tie!
I'll never make a dent in it
if I get a job.
It wouldn't be for ever.
It's just some security for now.
Jess, I'll never get us out of this
if I'm punching in and out every day.
Look, you won't tell them, will you?
SIGHS
I've had enough embarrassment
for one day.
Good day?
Weird day. Just family stuff.
You want to talk about it?
No, thank you.
How about you?
Um... Oh, just trying to imagine
my life after cake.
Take the money and run, Trudi.
That's what Richard says.
Well, he's got a point. You've done
nothing but work the last few years.
You could spend more time together.
Did he say that to you?
No.
No, he didn't...
We don't talk about that kind of
thing.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
How'd it go at the clinic?
Er... Yeah, it was great, yeah...
I got my drugs.
All systems go.
You and Mark will make beautiful
babies.
Yeah.
In a test tube.
Don't look now.
The eagle has landed.
My God, is that her?
Hell, she is...
Young.
Thin.
Sexy.
There they are.
Oh.
Hello.
ALL: Hey!
Alice, this is...
Let me guess.
Jessica, Trudi...and you must be
Katie.
Hello.
Hi! Oh...
Oh, give me a hug.
Hi. Hello. Hi, Katie, wow...
Do you want me to spike her drink?
No!
Stop it, I'm fine.
Sure? Mm-hm.
She's lovely.
OK.
OK, two French Martinis,
two Bellinis...and Jess?
Sparkling water.
I've used up my units this week.
Your units?
Yeah, I'm going to be spending
thousands on IVF, so...
..better give it my best shot.
Jess?
I'm sorry.
I'm such a neurotic mess already!
Oh, that's natural.
Do you remember when I was trying
for Cathy? I was bla-la-la-la...
Are you feeling broody, Alice?
Me? God, no.
I'm not even 30.
I've got at least ten years
of freedom
before I even have to think about it.
Or not.
Mm, quite right.
I like Alice.
Yeah, so I do.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
You're just pretending to like her
because you have no choice.
TRUDI: What's not to like?
She's sweet.
Yeah, but don't you think
she's a bit picture perfect?
She's from New York.
They're all picture perfect over
there.
Oh, face it, Jessica. We like her.
We like her more than we like you.
The lady protests.
It's only five minutes ago
you were contemplating accepting
a proposal from her intended.
Madness. An aberration.
Man, you've changed.
The old Siobhan would have
given her a run for her money.
Jess, I appreciate your
hormonally-heightened support,
but I'm not giving anyone
a run for their money.
I had my chance and I gave it away.
Several times.
Dominic is marrying Alice,
and I'm very, very happy for him.
There.
Can we all please just drop it?
I made a few calls.
I've got a job interview lined up.
Good.
Was it OK at the clinic on your own?
Yeah, it was fine.
When do you start?
Tomorrow.
What?
What if it doesn't work?
It'll work. And I'll be there
at the next appointment.
With you.
Hm?
OK.
Er, Amy likes wholegrain mustard.
Since when?
Latest fad.
No, just Amy.
Cathy's into mayonnaise now.
And Gina?
A little cracked black pepper.
It'll be something else next week.
Wasabi or...
Why aren't you dressed for work?
I am taking the day off.
I'm going to get the girls to school,
have lunch with you.
No way! Social death.
I've got a school committee meeting
at lunch time.
I thought everyone
wanted to see more of me.
We do! But you never said.
Why don't you see if Katie's
free for lunch? Cheer her up a bit.
Cheer her up?
Hm.
Oh... I thought she...
She didn't tell you?
What?
She found these letters
up at the old house.
Between her father and his lover.
Oh, my God!
And she told you that?
No, no. Well...
I was there.
Oh, of course.
Poor Katie.
Well, I'm glad you were there.
Right. One mustard.
One mayo.
One black pepper.
I really appreciate
you giving me this chance.
I know we haven't always...
seen eye to eye.
We're lucky to have you on board.
Probably not as dynamic as you're
used to.
But there's great opportunities
here. You could do
very well for yourself.
Well, just tell me how.
Impress me.
Let's get you a headset.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Oh, my God. It's him.
"I can't wait to meet you. Mike."
Two kisses. Ugh!
He sounds nice.
You don't think it's a good idea.
No. I... I think it's great.
Then why are you doing that thing?
What thing?
That thing with your forehead.
That worried look.
Er...
What?
Oh, it's nothing. It's just....
Richard told me he was with you
yesterday when
you found out about your dad.
Oh.
I mean, Katie, that must have been
horrible for you.
I know how much your dad
meant to you.
And I want you to know that although
I'm not around a lot at the moment,
you can call me any time.
Oh, I know. I know.
And the only reason that I didn't
was because I was trying
to let it go, you know.
It's stupid self-help book advice.
Well, it's good advice.
After you've stayed up all night
drinking and talking it over
with your girlfriends.
Do you like it?
Oh! Yeah, yeah. It's very romantic.
Do you think it's a...
a good reflection of us?
Oh. I hadn't really thought about
that.
Exactly. Nobody thinks about it.
They just check the diary,
say yes or no,
then chuck the invitation in the bin.
Well, is it? A good reflection?
Alice thinks it captures our essence.
I'd have been happy with an e-mail.
Did she choose your best man
as well?
Oh! Who is your best man?
You?
No, not a chance.
Why not?
Because...
Because it's so...butch.
It's the last thing I'll ask of you.
I promise.
After that,
I'll be out of your hair for good.
Hey.
Trude. But it's your day off.
What? Don't you trust me?
Um, let's not pull that thread.
These are the figures
for the last quarter.
That's fine.
Hey.
Don't mind me.
I just have a few things to do.
It'll be like I'm not even here.
Really.
I should move.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You sit right there.
In my chair.
I'm absolutely fine with it.
And you've been through these?
That's it.
Thanks for coming in.
Find everything you need?
Thank you.
Ready to talk numbers?
No.
No?
No. No, I'm sorry. Um...
OK, you want to buy my cakes,
my recipes, my brand,
and own them for ever.
And you want to sit in my chair.
And I don't think
you can put a number on that.
I don't think you can afford me.
Will you excuse me?
It's traditional
to wait and hear the offer...
Even haggle a bit.
I don't want to hear the offer.
Are you seriously pulling out?
I am in love with this place.
I made it. From nothing.
And I'm good at it.
I don't want to...let it go.
It would have been professional
to be more open about your
reservations.
But we never had a deal.
I can pull out any time I want to...
Good luck, Trudi.
But you never spat in your hand.
Would you like to try them on?
Hm.
Madam?
Oh. It's not mine. It's not for me.
They're perfect, thank you.
I didn't actually want to wear a
ring, but Alice insisted.
Dom, can I ask you something?
As a friend.
Anything.
How well do you and Alice know each
other?
Intimately. We're...
connected.
Right.
What?
Having lots and lots of great sex,
and knowing someone intimately
is not the same thing as being
connected.
Well, technically,
I think you'll find that it is.
Stop being cute.
You know what I mean.
It doesn't last,
all this...friskiness.
What's going to keep you two
together when you need Viagra
and she's got a headache?
Well, kids, obviously.
Yeah, well, I don't think children
are high on her to-do list.
You don't know that.
You barely even know her.
Neither do you!
Dominic, I'm worried about you,
that you're rushing into things.
Why does it matter to you so much if
I am?
It matters, because...
you're my friend.
I know what this is really about.
You're jealous.
That's ridiculous. I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You're jealous because Alice and I
have a normal, happy, active sex
life,
whilst you, for some bizarre reason,
decided to lock yourself away in a
tower
like some born-again virgin.
You're not supposed
to talk to me like that.
And you are supposed to be happy
for me.
I need you to be happy for me.
Why does it matter to you so much
if I am?
Because... Because you and I...
SIGHS
..are friends.
Thank you.
A reasonable start.
But it's less about the smooth
talking,
Mark, and more about the targets.
If you don't make the targets...
I'll make the targets.
SIGHS
You're going to be late for Mike.
Bloody hell, Mother.
Don't be nervous.
Remember, you're choosing him.
When I met Dale...
No, no, no, no.
Please. No dating stories.
Oh, God. Put that away.
I can't bear looking at old photos.
Why not?
Vanity.
Vanity?
But you look beautiful.
Better go.
Yes, we'd been together a couple of
years
and we decided to get married,
you know.
It was a perfectly normal thing
to do.
It all seemed to be going fine and...
you know, we had the same
expectations
as everybody else, and then...
..then things started to go awry
and her behaviour became...
shall we say, confused.
And it just got worse and worse
until...
it wasn't going to get better.
The divorce was hard.
Worse for me.
But it happened.
Another bottle?
Yes, please.
This is fun, isn't it?
Lovely.
The thing is...
If I'd known she was bisexual...
..I never would have proposed.
I mean, why would she not tell me
that?
Maybe I should have guessed.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Sorry.
We'd go to a party.
She'd be talking to everyone.
Flirting with everyone.
Well, flirting with everyone
except me, of course.
I suppose it is amusing, isn't it?
Oh, yes. Um, only in a very sad way.
But we can't be sad for ever,
can we?
I mean, we have to move on,
as they say...
INHALES
..because if you don't move on,
you stay stuck.
In a rut.
And you don't move anywhere.
And we wouldn't be here now,
would we? No.
Oh.
Hello.
Hi.
You're back.
Yes.
Well, I'm glad. Because I...
I wanted to apologise
for leading you on.
In business terms.
I mean, that's business speak.
Yes, it is.
Apology accepted.
Good.
Well, bye.
I've been thinking about the kind
of investment you might need here.
Really?
You're right to be proud
of this place, Trudi.
You shouldn't sell it
if it means that much to you.
But you should make it even better.
Thank you.
And I'd like to help you do that...
if you'll have me.
Of course I'll have you.
Um, in business terms.
Business terms.
Yeah.
Oh, come here.
Isn't this is a little bit
unprofessional?
Terribly.
OK, good.
OK. Lamb dansak, pilau rice,
poppadoms,
Peshwari naan, beer, whisky.
Happy stag.
Er, Alice and I ate at the hotel.
Dom, I'm sorry.
Please, I'd rather not talk...
No, I shouldn't have said those
things.
No. No, you shouldn't.
Look, Alice...
She's amazing. OK?
She's up for it, for having a laugh,
for anything, and...
We want to be together.
Now, I respect the fact that you
don't want that from anyone.
But I do.
I panicked.
About Elsa and I
losing you from our lives again.
You're not going to lose me.
OK.
Can we at least...
..get absolutely langered?
OK.
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
Hiya.
Hey.
I didn't know you were planning
something special.
I was sorry I couldn't spend
the day with you.
Thank you.
So, how was it?
How was what?
Being a lady of leisure.
Oh, yeah, yeah, nice.
Oh, I had lunch with Katie.
Great!
And then I went to the office.
And Chris Webb was there.
Mmm?
And I decided not to sell.
Not to sell?
You decided?
Well, Chris is going to invest
instead.
What do you think?
Well, you know what I think.
How could you make a decision like
this
without speaking to me?
Well, it just sort of happened.
Look, I think this could be good for
us.
It'll free me up and I can be around
more.
How can you expand the business
AND be around more?
Oh, no. I can hire someone,
I can train them up,
and then I can go in later,
leave early.
Sorry, I don't get it, Trudi.
I thought you wanted to come home.
This morning you were all for it.
No-one needs me at home.
Yes, they do. We all do.
And what's more,
home used to make you happy.
I don't want to be a housewife again.
Well, did it ever occur to you that
I might want to be
more than a househusband?
So get a job.
Get your career back on track.
We can't both have careers, Trudi.
I think the girls have suffered
quite enough abandonment.
Are you accusing me
of being a bad mother?
No!
No.
But this was a chance
to go back to the way things were.
Selling homemade buns
out of Tupperware boxes.
And drinking cava
out of plastic cups.
Things were easier. And fun.
Things were awful!
They weren't awful. I...
But we were broke, Richard.
And we are not any more,
thanks to the bakery.
Yes, and there would be no bakery
if I wasn't here,
making it possible for you
to work every hour God sends.
I know that.
So this is it, is it?
You get what you want
and I get to be some kind of...
some kind of glorified nanny
that shares your bed,
the benefits being few and far
between.
Why can't you be happy about this?
Why can't you be proud of me?
Because I never see you.
And when I do see you,
you treat me like one of your staff.
What?!
I do not! I do not treat you...
No, you're right. You don't.
If you did,
you'd treat me with more respect.
LAUGHTER
BEEPING
SNORING
She got the snoring from you.
What? No. From you.
Oh, boy.
Thanks.
Thanks for a great stag.
That's what your best woman's for.
I never thought
you'd be my best woman.
Just thought you'd be my...
Hm.
Just goes to show you never can...
What are you doing?
I don't know.
OK, you...
You really are drunk.
For an Irishwoman,
you really can't hold your whisky.
CHUCKLES
Ohh...
Shit.
Richard?
I won't let it take over our lives.
I promise.
It already has.
I'm going to change that.
You've done it now, Trudi,
so just leave it.
You're going to work?
Yeah, there's been a mix-up
with an order
and I have to go and sort it out.
I thought we'd go together.
Yes, I know, and I'm sorry.
Look, it'll only be for a few hours.
I will change there and I'll see you
at the registry office.
Did you want me to help you choose?
No, thank you.
There's a slight improvement here,
Mark.
Keep...
Keep trying.
Have you seen my...? Ah!
I just wanted to see
what all the fuss was about.
What was so great about memory lane.
I didn't want you to find out.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I should have left that stupid
letter in the house.
Or burned it, or...
I'm so sorry.
No, I'm the one who should be sorry.
I thought I'd sent her back
all their mementoes.
You knew about this?
When? When did you find out?
How long?
I knew from the start.
18 years.
18 years.
My...entire childhood.
You let me believe we were a family.
We were.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not a family. That is a lie.
No wonder you can't look
at all those photos.
We're all happy and smiling
and it's all fake!
You were happy. We made sure of that.
God! I have been feeling so sorry
for you,
keeping this terrible secret,
and you knew
and you just put up with it!
I'm sorry. I did all I could
to hide it from you.
Why? I had a right to know.
Katherine, my relationship
with your father was private.
It was between us.
It was none of your business.
And, quite frankly, you had no right
to read his correspondence.
He was my father!
He was my husband!
You were only a child.
My child.
You idolised him.
And I could never...
I would never...damage that.
What about this damage, hm?
You and me?
Good to go?
You tell me.
Yep. You're good to go.
Just here.
Thanks.
Looking for Mark?
Yeah. Hi. Um... I'm his wife.
I bought him some new ties
for the office
because he's only got one.
Mark doesn't work here any more.
Well, he's only just started.
I fired him.
He has a problem with authority.
Mark is brilliant at his job.
He certainly thinks so.
God!
Ooh!
I thought we could seal the deal
with something more hygienic
than spitting.
Thank you.
Um, wedding, and I'm late.
Please tell me
you've got it under control.
Not so much.
Chef's come down with swine flu,
the van's broken down
and I might have forgotten
to order vanilla pods.
Do you have to go, Trudes?
My husband will divorce me
if I don't go!
I can help.
You should go, be with Richard.
Seriously, I'll stay.
OK, do you even know
what a vanilla pod looks like?
Um...
Yeah. OK.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hello.
I can't come.
Yes, you can. You have to come.
Look, I have no choice.
I've got no chef.
I don't care, Trudi.
We haven't been out
on our own together since you
started that bloody bakery.
Look, I'll get there.
It'll just be later.
Maybe you shouldn't bother
coming at all!
Look, I am sorry, Richard.
But it's just... It's critical.
Critical?!
Trudi, it's just cake!
Um, look, I, um...
I'm not going to go to the wedding.
You can go.
Thank you.
All the same, I'd like to help.
If I could please ask you
to stand to welcome the bride?
BAROQUE MUSIC
Oh, I am sorry for stirring.
I just always thought
he was your soul mate.
Oh, I've lots of soul mates.
You're my soul mate.
Aw!
Come on, let's go and get trashed
on free champagne.
Hang on. I thought you were
looking out for your units?
I... I don't feel ready for IVF.
But you seemed so set on it.
You started all the horrible drugs,
and everything.
Yeah, I know. I think that's part
of it, you know?
It's unnatural.
And it's expensive
and there's no guarantees.
Yeah, but it's not like
you don't have the money.
Oh, God, no. We have the money.
Well, I know.
I'm just...surprised.
You seem to have
changed your mind overnight.
Look, I know what I'm doing, OK?
OK, everyone. The first collection is
in 20 minutes, so keep the pace up,
yes?
ALL: Yes, Chef.
45 more seconds.
Trudes...
One more tablespoon of 85%. Sifted.
Right.
Let me.
Look. Watch.
There you go. See?
TIMER BUZZES
Very good.
So it only remains for me
to say that Alice
is the luckiest girl in the world.
Hear! Hear!
Can we raise a glass, please,
for the bride and groom?
ALL: The bride and groom!
Thank you.
I kept this for you.
Thank you. That's...thoughtful.
Nice speech.
Easy subject.
# Got the hazy, hazy janes
# I turn to you
# And inhale where you lay
# Took a wander through the garden
# To await the long, long day
# And then roll for a while... #
I do want all this, Dom.
I just...
don't know how to do it.
# ..Oh, you kiss my lips again
and again and again... #
Do I get a go?
Yes, of course.
# ..And then we would watch the sun
coming up easy
# While the rain came tumbling down
# And it washed our bodies so cleanly
# We could see them rise up... #
Vol-au-vent?
Liquids only, thanks.
Still no Trudi?
Er, no.
Wow! That must be some cake crisis.
Hm. She's not selling.
Oh.
You happy about that?
I would appear to have
very little to do with it.
We're not really talking.
I'm sorry.
She thinks I'm not proud of her,
and I am incredibly proud of her.
It's just...
SIGHS
..sometimes it feels like
the cake comes first.
But tonight, Trudi's loss is your
gain.
I've got a sitter till midnight
and I intend to party.
Well, in that case, Richard,
you've got yourself a partner in
crime.
Don't be a stranger.
# I like to party
# I like to party. #
You like to party?
Oh, yeah.
# Just write it down
# And I'll go
# But you skate around my human skin
# An apple where your throat begins
# Just say
# Just tell the stars to give a sign
# Put it in a bottle
# Say you're mine... #
Hey, baby.
Nice wedding?
Mm-hm.
Good day at work?
Oh, yeah. It's child's play,
this nine-to-five lark.
I'll obviously be MD in no time.
I didn't want to upset you.
A fight with your boss
on your second day?!
He was riling me, Jess.
It was some kind of power trip
for him, and it was humiliating.
No, this is humiliating!
OK, listen. Let's just calm down.
There's no need to worry.
This is me we're talking about.
I've already sorted something else
out. You're a liar!
Why is it so hard for you
to do one thing for me?
Jess, you're overreacting. Come on.
We're going to have a baby.
Everything's going to be fine.
We're not going to have a baby.
I've cancelled the treatment.
What?!
This is chaos, Mark!
Do you really think
I could bring a child into this?
I need some air.
Wait, Jess. Listen, I'll get another
job. Tomorrow.
And I'll stick at it.
What's the point?
You'll never make a dent in it,
will you?
No.
No?
SHOUTS: No!
Jess, please don't leave me, Jess.
I know I don't deserve you,
but I don't know what to do
without you.
I...
I don't know what I'll do.
I'm just going for a walk.
I'm scared.
I'm not leaving you, Mark.
You're my husband...
And...
HE SOBS
You're my husband.
HE SOBS
Good night.
Good night.
Look at you, you're a mess!
SHE LAUGHS
I'm the novice.
Whereas you...
You're really talented.
Sweat and tears.
That's not what I saw.
Well, you didn't do badly yourself.
I'm a fast learner,
and I had a good teacher.
You could give classes.
Who's going to come and listen to me
banging on about cake?
I'd come, especially
if you were wearing that dress.
Um...
I'd better phone Richard. See if I've
got time to toast the bride
and groom.
There you are.
Should've worn my dancing shoes.
Sorry.
No. Don't be. I needed that.
She knew, Richard.
My mother.
She knew all along.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
It's OK. Take it.
No, no, no. It's not important.
Hi, this is Richard. Sorry I can't
take your call at the moment...
You OK?
Yeah.
Let's have our own toast.
Um, yeah. You want to do the honours?
You are a married man. Twice.
Why didn't they just break up?
They probably stayed together
for you.
That's what we do, isn't it?
Stick it out when we have children.
Make marital blind spots.
I always wanted to find
someone just like him.
I don't even know
who he was any more.
He was your dad.
Bit of a shagger, but still your dad.
How do you do that?
What?
Tell a completely inappropriate joke
at an inappropriate time
and somehow get it right?
Hm.
I don't always get it right.
I'd better go. Make sure she's OK.
Bye.
Bye.
We're not doing this.
I am not doing this.
# Seven seconds away
# Just as long as I stay... #
I mean, look at us.
Sitting here...
Yep. Dressed for a wedding.
Sipping champagne.
From a plastic cup.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
I'm just...
Hey.
My carriage is about
to turn into a pumpkin.
Um, thank you for staying with me.
Isn't this terribly unprofessional?
A little.
But you look like you need a hug.
I do.
No, no, no. Just a hug.
I'm sorry. You were upset. I, er...
What, you thought you'd kiss it
better?!
Yeah.
Chris Webb and me.
I don't know why I did it.
Is this about cash? Is this why
I've been excluded from
your girls' nights out?
We need to talk about this.
I think I just agreed to a date.
What's he like? Is he good-looking?
HORN BLASTS
It's Richard. What?
Have you told her
you borrowed ten grand?
I think it's time you left.
It's me again. Don't hang op.
Do you still love Richard?
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