Mister Ed (1958–1966): Season 3, Episode 1 - Ed Gets Amnesia - full transcript
Ed receives a blow to his head, which causes him to suffer from amnesia.
[whinnies]
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
[Ed snoring]
[alarm clock ringing]
Oh, ah, ah.
[sighing] Ah!
Ah! What a beautiful morning!
It's great to be a
horse on a day like this.
Ah, ah. Now for
a little breakfast.
I wonder if he hid my
carrots in here this time.
No, not under C.
Uh, let's see.
Where would I hide carrots
if I were a human being?
Nope.
Now, where would I
hide them if I was Wilbur?
Yep!
That figures for Wilbur.
Well, while Wilbur's
having his breakfast,
I'll have mine.
Carol!
Oh, good morning,
folks. Hi, Kay.
Guess what I read in
the paper this morning.
There's a Rabinski
piano recital tonight.
Why don't we all go?
Wonderful idea, Kay.
Yeah.
Uh, not for me, Carol.
Oh.
Well, look what happened
the last time you
dragged me to a concert.
He snored so loud,
they asked us to leave.
That must have been
very embarrassing.
It was. The music
hadn't started yet.
- Count me out, girls.
- Oh, but, Wilbur,
Rabinski is the
world's finest pianist.
There'll be fighting
to get in tonight.
Good. When you get
home, let me know who won.
Hey, Wilbur! Why so grouchy?
The girls are
trying to set it up
to take us to some dull concert.
I've got it all figured
out, though, see.
I'll go in the barn and
pretend to be working, see,
and then I'll pretend
to hurt my back.
I'll start moaning and groaning.
When the girls come in,
you offer to stay home
tonight and take care of me.
[laughing] That way, we
won't have to go to the...
You're staring at
me. Why, why is that?
I never miss a symphony
concert in my life.
You're kidding.
You not only lack
culture. You even lack lack.
You're kidding.
However, don't construe
anything I've said
as a reflection
on your character.
I still think you're
a fine fellow
- and a good neighbor.
- Oh, you mean that, Rog?
I'm kidding.
Wilbur, I ask you, as a friend,
go to that concert, as a friend.
Oh! All right, I'll
go to the concert.
Ed, what are you doing?
I'm emptying the wastebasket.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you found the carrots, huh?
Naturally, right
where you hid them.
Well, I'm going to put
these carrots in a place
where you can't reach them.
You can't keep eating carrots.
Why don't you eat
your hay once in a while
like any other horse?
'Cause carrots are
good for my eyes.
Oh, that's a legend.
Yeah, did you ever see
a rabbit wearing glasses?
Oh, very funny.
Now, no more complaints
about those carrots.
I've got a lot of
work to finish up here
before I go to the concert.
Now, you get in that
stall and be quiet.
Yes, master.
Yeah, can't reach them. Ha!
[loud crash] Oh!
[Mister Ed moaning]
Ed, Ed, what, what
are you... [moaning]
Oh, that pail hit you
on the head, huh?
Well, Ed, you shouldn't have
been coming in here and... Ed.
[moaning]
Ed! Hey, come, come on, Ed.
Get up, boy! That's it!
[grunting]
Ed, come on! That's it.
[grunting]
There. Are you all right, Ed?
Who's Ed?
Your eyes look funny.
I feel fine, stranger.
Stranger? Ed, what's going on?
Why do you keep
calling me Ed, stranger?
Oh, that, that
bump on the head...
Ed, what happened
to your memory?
Look, I don't know who you are,
so would you mind getting
out of my bedroom, please?
Ed, I'm Wilbur. Look, here.
Here are the carrots you wanted.
Carrots? Carrots are for horses.
But you're a horse.
Now, whatever
gave you that idea?
You're Ed. I'm Wilbur.
Don't you recognize me?
I've never seen you
before in my life, stranger.
I'm your owner. You're my horse.
Will you please stop
calling me a horse?
I'm not a stranger!
I... oh, this is awful!
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna get some pictures
and prove who you are.
Poor fella. I think
he's got amnesia.
Wilbur, what are you doing?
I'm looking for
the picture album.
What's your big rush?
I want to show it to Ed.
You what?
I'm showing some pictures to Ed.
Uh, uh, to Roger.
Why would Roger be interested
in seeing pictures of Mister Ed?
[chuckling] That's
a good question.
Oh, Wilbur, try on the jacket.
Hm?
I want to see if it still fits.
Yeah, well. Honey,
I've got to go.
Oh, stop fidgeting.
Wilbur, try on your trousers.
I'm in a hurry! You try them on!
[Kay] Did you see what I saw?
I saw it, but I
don't believe it.
He was wearing half a tuxedo.
Well, maybe he's
only going to stay
for half the concert.
How are you feeling, Ed?
Pretty good, Sam.
Sam? Why are you calling me Sam?
Why are you calling me Ed?
You are sick, aren't you, Ed?
I'm sick?
And you're wearing
half a tuxedo.
Well, look, when you
see these photographs,
this will help you to
remember who you are.
Sure, stranger.
There you are, Ed.
That's not me. That's a horse.
You are a horse.
Oh, oh, oh no. You're the horse.
How can you say that?
I can't be a horse.
Horses don't talk.
I'm talking. How
can I be a horse?
That's your problem.
Look, here. This
one will help you.
You see?
This is something I got
you for your birthday.
Wilbur, uh, about
that concert tonight...
Oh, we were just
looking at some pictures.
We?
Oh, of course, you have a guest.
Why don't you buy him a tuxedo,
and take him to
the concert tonight?
Uh, dinner at 7.
Hey, who's that?
That's our next door
neighbor, Roger Addison.
I like him.
You like... but you've
always hated him.
Him I hate, and you I like?
You're in bad shape.
I'm gonna have to
get you to the vet.
Vet? Vets are for animals.
Why are you taking me?
You poor guy.
You don't know
what you're saying.
Now, just take it easy.
I'll see Dr. Baker
and get his advice.
Hey, don't tell the doc
you show photo albums to
people you think are horses.
He might throw a net over you.
I don't know who I
am, but whoever I am,
I'm glad I'm not him.
[veterinarian humming]
[knocking]
[veterinarian humming]
[dog whining]
[knocking]
Oh, Mr. Post.
Dr. Baker, I need your help.
Something wrong with your horse?
Yeah, well, I hope you
won't think I'm eccentric
for what I'm about to say,
but you know how
close I am to my horse.
I mean, I, I think
of him as a person.
Oh, now, you don't
have to be ashamed
of your affection
for your horse.
Animals are just
like little people.
Well, now, you take
Prince here, for instance.
Just this morning, his owner
brought in a birthday cake
made out of a hamburger.
That's a little
ridiculous, isn't it?
And then there's Puddy Tat.
Do you know that her
owner, twice a week,
gives me $5.00 extra
to give her a massage?
- Oh, that's silly.
- [cat meowing]
And then, Mrs. Cassidy
lets her canary stay up
just late enough to
sing along with Mitch.
So, you see, you don't
have to feel self conscious.
Now, what's wrong
with your horse?
He has amnesia.
Oh, well, that...
Amnesia? Oh, now, really.
I, I, I knew you
wouldn't believe me.
Yeah, you don't mean amnesia.
What you mean...
What do you mean?
Look, if Puddy Tat can
have a birthday cake
and Prince can have a massage,
why can't my horse have amnesia?
Oh, no, no, no. Prince
had the birthday cake,
and Puddy Tat had the massage.
You're mixed up.
I'm the... my horse is mixed up!
All right. Uh, let's
have a look at him.
Well, I couldn't get
him to come down here.
Why not?
He doesn't think he's a horse.
How do you know?
Because he thinks I'm a horse.
Mr. Post, suppose we
begin at the beginning?
Well, it all began when
this pail fell on his head.
How did that happen?
Well, because I hid the carrots.
Look, doctor, I know
what you're thinking,
and I don't blame
you, but believe me,
the horse has lost his memory.
He keeps calling
me Sam and Charley.
Mr. Post, I think you
should see a doctor.
You're a doctor.
No, you need a people doctor.
I don't. Oh, but maybe Ed does.
I mean, after all, he
thinks he's a people...
He's a person.
Yeah, yeah, I'll get a real
doctor to examine him.
Thank you very much, Dr. Baker.
Bye, Puddy Tat.
Happy Birthday, Prince.
Sing along.
Some people are
around animals too much.
[cat meowing]
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
Happy Birthday!
[laughing]
I'm glad you finally
admit I'm not a horse.
That's right, so I thought
I'd get a real doctor
to come over and
take care of you.
Get one with a pretty nurse.
I'm starting with the A's here.
[Ed clearing his throat]
Hello. Is Dr. Able in, please?
Well, nurse, this is Mr. Post.
Yeah, I wonder if the doctor
could come over to
my house right away.
Well, no, I'm
fine. It's my horse.
He's got amnesia.
[click]
Hello? Uh, hello?
[humming]
Hello. Dr. Adams, please.
Oh, doctor, my
horse has amnesia,
- and I was thinking...
- [click]
Hello? Doc, Doc. Hello?
[humming]
Hello, Doctor, uh, Dr. Miller?
Dr. Miller, I want to talk to
you about an amnesia victim.
Yes.
No, not me. It's my horse.
- [click]
- Hello?
[Ed yawning]
Hello? Uh, Dr. Zelenka?
Dr. Zelenka, before I
tell you my problem,
you've got to believe me.
You're the last
doctor in the book,
so, promise you
won't hang up on me.
I'm desperate.
Ah, thank you, Doctor.
Well, a pail of carrots
fell on my horse's head,
- and he has amnesia.
- [click]
Doctor, you promised!
Well, if you ask me, you
need a doctor yourself.
Oh.
You know, you may be right.
I mean, if I could get a
doctor to treat me for amnesia,
then I could find
out how to treat you.
All I've gotta do
is convince Carol,
and she may call one.
It's worth a chance.
[door closing]
Oh, that poor horse.
I hope the doctor can help him.
Honey, please hurry.
You're holding us up.
Okay, gang, relax.
I'll be right down.
A concert, huh? [chuckling]
Ooh!
[Carol] Oh, Wilbur!
Oh! Oh!
Wilbur! Oh, Wilbur!
Oh, he hit his head.
Wilbur, are you all right?
His eyes look glassy.
He always looks like that.
Oh, Wilbur, did
you hurt yourself?
Wilbur? Who's Wilbur?
Who are you people, anyway?
Where am I?
Oh, Wilbur, you
did hurt yourself!
Please, miss! I'm a married man.
He's only faking.
Mister, will you
take your daughter
and get out of here?
He's got amnesia.
Daughter?
I like him better with amnesia.
Wilbur.
Will you stop shouting
at me, Louise?
Louise?
Why are you calling me Louise?
For the same reason
you're calling me Wilbur.
Now, wait a minute.
He just doesn't want to
go to the concert tonight.
The concert. Of course!
Where's my piano?
Piano?
How can I play tonight
without my piano?
He thinks he plays the piano.
Thinks? Thinks?
Everybody knows
Rabinski plays the piano.
Hello, Dr. Cathcart?
This is Carol Post.
Oh, please hurry
over here right away.
I'm worried about Wilbur.
Well, what do you think?
Mm, his left eye
is a little bloodshot.
I'd cut out those
late nights, big boy.
Now he thinks he's a doctor.
I am not a doctor. I
am Vladimir Rabinski!
Before the accident,
he couldn't even
say Vladimir Rabinski.
It's a clear case of amnesia.
Oh, poor dear.
Oh, if I wasn't
married... [growling]
Maybe you ought to get amnesia.
[Roger growling]
Doctor, what are we going to do?
Well, there's no specific cure.
The duration can
be long or short.
Sometimes, however,
these things have
been known to disappear
as quickly as they come.
You let him have a
good night's sleep.
I'll examine him in
my office tomorrow.
But, Doctor, don't go.
I haven't found
out yet how to, uh,
how to get rid of
these strangers.
Would you mind stepping
outside, so we can talk privately?
Please?
This is good. I'm
gaining his confidence.
Oh, Doctor, please do something.
I'm going to feel funny
living here with Wilbur,
and he not knowing
we're even married.
Come in, Doctor.
Well, why are you
bringing me into this barn?
Doctor, I, I want
to level with you.
Yeah?
Doctor, I'm not sick.
That's the attitude!
It's my horse who's sick.
Yeah.
Horse?
He can't remember who he is.
Oh, I see.
It's your, uh, it's your
horse who has the amnesia.
Finally, somebody understands!
Well, I'll, I'll, uh,
tell you what to do.
You will?
Mm-hmm. You get
a good night's rest,
and you and your horse come
to my office in the morning.
I'll treat you both.
Yeah... No, Doctor,
Doctor, you don't understand.
What, what, what I'm
trying to tell you is...
[clunk]
Well, he didn't
believe a word I said.
He thinks I'm sick.
He's not alone.
[sigh]
Well, well, if I can't find out
some way of helping you,
I might as well tell
Carol and the others
that I'm all right.
And I realize it's a lot
more serious than I thought.
But you did say that
people do get better, Doctor.
How?
[Dr. Cathcart] There
are numerous ways
amnesia patients recover...
Sometimes months of
rest, shock treatments.
Sometimes a cure
is quickly affected
by another blow
to the same area.
You never can tell just exactly
how the cure is brought about.
Oh, I was just, I...
Get him to my office
first thing in the morning.
Thank you, Dr. Cathcart.
Oh, I just can't stand
Wilbur's being sick like this.
If only we could help
bring back his memory.
It might take months of rest.
Hey, wait.
The doctor just said
another hit on the head
might bring back his
memory immediately.
That's right!
Oh, but I couldn't deliberately
hit Wilbur on the head.
Oh, I couldn't, either.
I could.
Roger!
He's my friend,
and a friend doesn't turn
his back on another friend
when he needs a
good hit in the head.
What would you hit him with?
In my car, I've got a crowbar.
A hammer?
A rock?
Well, I can't hit him
with a marshmallow.
Maybe an umbrella would work.
[door opening upstairs]
Uh, Mr. Rabinski,
what do you think of
Shostakovich and Stravinsky
as exponents of modern music?
Well, uh, now, that's a
very difficult question.
What do you think?
Huh? Uh, I think it might rain.
Why don't you take this
to the concert with you?
No, thanks. I always
conduct with a baton.
Ah, Ed, it's gonna
be all right now.
Everything's going to be
fine, but I have to use this,
so just close your eyes, huh?
Look, stranger, why
should I close my eyes?
I don't even trust you
when they're open.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I just have to give you
a little rap on
the head with this.
Ed, I'm doing it
for your own good.
Ed, listen to me.
This is going to hurt me a
lot more than it hurts you.
[Ed] Okay, then hit
yourself on the head!
Ed, open these doors!
Ed, listen to me!
- [pail clanking]
- [Ed] Oh! Oh, my head.
Ed, Ed, what's going on?
Ed! What happened?
That darn pail hit me
on the head, Wilbur.
Serves you right
for locking me out.
Wait. Wilbur?
You called me Wilbur.
Well, what am I
supposed to call you?
But... But you're all right.
You've got your memory back.
Now, when did I ever lose it?
This is wonderful!
You know, I'm a little
worried about you, pal.
Ed, it's so great
to have you back.
I'm so happy, I don't
know what to say.
While you're so happy,
make me happy with
a bucket of carrots.
Okay, fella! [laughing]
Wait, wait a minute.
Now that you're all right,
I, I'd better let the
others know that,
that I'm all right.
Oh, it's great to have you back!
[laughing excitedly]
[Roger] I had
him right on target,
but, cowardly
weakling that I am,
I couldn't go through with it.
Well, maybe it's for the
best you didn't hit him.
[Carol] Oh, yes. I
just wouldn't feel right
having you hit Wilbur.
Excuse me, strangers.
I want to get my piano music.
I don't want to be
late for my concert.
Whoa!
Wilbur!
Oh, Carol, how many
times have I asked you
not to polish this
floor so much.
Carol? He called me Carol!
Oh, darling, you
called me Carol!
Well, what was I
supposed to call you?
Roger? Kay? [laughs]
Mm, I'd better get
dressed, honey.
I'll be late for the concert.
Ah, he's all right!
By the way, where have
you been all afternoon?
Oh!
He's all right!
He regained his memory!
Oh, well, I'll get
him some other time.
Ed, you still awake?
Yep.
I thought I'd drop by
and have a little
after-concert snack with you.
[Ed] Great idea.
Oh!
[mouth full] Thank you.
How was the concert?
Mm, great, great.
Did you fall asleep?
Only during the music.
That's my boy!
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
[Man] This has been a
Filmways presentation.
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
[Ed snoring]
[alarm clock ringing]
Oh, ah, ah.
[sighing] Ah!
Ah! What a beautiful morning!
It's great to be a
horse on a day like this.
Ah, ah. Now for
a little breakfast.
I wonder if he hid my
carrots in here this time.
No, not under C.
Uh, let's see.
Where would I hide carrots
if I were a human being?
Nope.
Now, where would I
hide them if I was Wilbur?
Yep!
That figures for Wilbur.
Well, while Wilbur's
having his breakfast,
I'll have mine.
Carol!
Oh, good morning,
folks. Hi, Kay.
Guess what I read in
the paper this morning.
There's a Rabinski
piano recital tonight.
Why don't we all go?
Wonderful idea, Kay.
Yeah.
Uh, not for me, Carol.
Oh.
Well, look what happened
the last time you
dragged me to a concert.
He snored so loud,
they asked us to leave.
That must have been
very embarrassing.
It was. The music
hadn't started yet.
- Count me out, girls.
- Oh, but, Wilbur,
Rabinski is the
world's finest pianist.
There'll be fighting
to get in tonight.
Good. When you get
home, let me know who won.
Hey, Wilbur! Why so grouchy?
The girls are
trying to set it up
to take us to some dull concert.
I've got it all figured
out, though, see.
I'll go in the barn and
pretend to be working, see,
and then I'll pretend
to hurt my back.
I'll start moaning and groaning.
When the girls come in,
you offer to stay home
tonight and take care of me.
[laughing] That way, we
won't have to go to the...
You're staring at
me. Why, why is that?
I never miss a symphony
concert in my life.
You're kidding.
You not only lack
culture. You even lack lack.
You're kidding.
However, don't construe
anything I've said
as a reflection
on your character.
I still think you're
a fine fellow
- and a good neighbor.
- Oh, you mean that, Rog?
I'm kidding.
Wilbur, I ask you, as a friend,
go to that concert, as a friend.
Oh! All right, I'll
go to the concert.
Ed, what are you doing?
I'm emptying the wastebasket.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you found the carrots, huh?
Naturally, right
where you hid them.
Well, I'm going to put
these carrots in a place
where you can't reach them.
You can't keep eating carrots.
Why don't you eat
your hay once in a while
like any other horse?
'Cause carrots are
good for my eyes.
Oh, that's a legend.
Yeah, did you ever see
a rabbit wearing glasses?
Oh, very funny.
Now, no more complaints
about those carrots.
I've got a lot of
work to finish up here
before I go to the concert.
Now, you get in that
stall and be quiet.
Yes, master.
Yeah, can't reach them. Ha!
[loud crash] Oh!
[Mister Ed moaning]
Ed, Ed, what, what
are you... [moaning]
Oh, that pail hit you
on the head, huh?
Well, Ed, you shouldn't have
been coming in here and... Ed.
[moaning]
Ed! Hey, come, come on, Ed.
Get up, boy! That's it!
[grunting]
Ed, come on! That's it.
[grunting]
There. Are you all right, Ed?
Who's Ed?
Your eyes look funny.
I feel fine, stranger.
Stranger? Ed, what's going on?
Why do you keep
calling me Ed, stranger?
Oh, that, that
bump on the head...
Ed, what happened
to your memory?
Look, I don't know who you are,
so would you mind getting
out of my bedroom, please?
Ed, I'm Wilbur. Look, here.
Here are the carrots you wanted.
Carrots? Carrots are for horses.
But you're a horse.
Now, whatever
gave you that idea?
You're Ed. I'm Wilbur.
Don't you recognize me?
I've never seen you
before in my life, stranger.
I'm your owner. You're my horse.
Will you please stop
calling me a horse?
I'm not a stranger!
I... oh, this is awful!
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna get some pictures
and prove who you are.
Poor fella. I think
he's got amnesia.
Wilbur, what are you doing?
I'm looking for
the picture album.
What's your big rush?
I want to show it to Ed.
You what?
I'm showing some pictures to Ed.
Uh, uh, to Roger.
Why would Roger be interested
in seeing pictures of Mister Ed?
[chuckling] That's
a good question.
Oh, Wilbur, try on the jacket.
Hm?
I want to see if it still fits.
Yeah, well. Honey,
I've got to go.
Oh, stop fidgeting.
Wilbur, try on your trousers.
I'm in a hurry! You try them on!
[Kay] Did you see what I saw?
I saw it, but I
don't believe it.
He was wearing half a tuxedo.
Well, maybe he's
only going to stay
for half the concert.
How are you feeling, Ed?
Pretty good, Sam.
Sam? Why are you calling me Sam?
Why are you calling me Ed?
You are sick, aren't you, Ed?
I'm sick?
And you're wearing
half a tuxedo.
Well, look, when you
see these photographs,
this will help you to
remember who you are.
Sure, stranger.
There you are, Ed.
That's not me. That's a horse.
You are a horse.
Oh, oh, oh no. You're the horse.
How can you say that?
I can't be a horse.
Horses don't talk.
I'm talking. How
can I be a horse?
That's your problem.
Look, here. This
one will help you.
You see?
This is something I got
you for your birthday.
Wilbur, uh, about
that concert tonight...
Oh, we were just
looking at some pictures.
We?
Oh, of course, you have a guest.
Why don't you buy him a tuxedo,
and take him to
the concert tonight?
Uh, dinner at 7.
Hey, who's that?
That's our next door
neighbor, Roger Addison.
I like him.
You like... but you've
always hated him.
Him I hate, and you I like?
You're in bad shape.
I'm gonna have to
get you to the vet.
Vet? Vets are for animals.
Why are you taking me?
You poor guy.
You don't know
what you're saying.
Now, just take it easy.
I'll see Dr. Baker
and get his advice.
Hey, don't tell the doc
you show photo albums to
people you think are horses.
He might throw a net over you.
I don't know who I
am, but whoever I am,
I'm glad I'm not him.
[veterinarian humming]
[knocking]
[veterinarian humming]
[dog whining]
[knocking]
Oh, Mr. Post.
Dr. Baker, I need your help.
Something wrong with your horse?
Yeah, well, I hope you
won't think I'm eccentric
for what I'm about to say,
but you know how
close I am to my horse.
I mean, I, I think
of him as a person.
Oh, now, you don't
have to be ashamed
of your affection
for your horse.
Animals are just
like little people.
Well, now, you take
Prince here, for instance.
Just this morning, his owner
brought in a birthday cake
made out of a hamburger.
That's a little
ridiculous, isn't it?
And then there's Puddy Tat.
Do you know that her
owner, twice a week,
gives me $5.00 extra
to give her a massage?
- Oh, that's silly.
- [cat meowing]
And then, Mrs. Cassidy
lets her canary stay up
just late enough to
sing along with Mitch.
So, you see, you don't
have to feel self conscious.
Now, what's wrong
with your horse?
He has amnesia.
Oh, well, that...
Amnesia? Oh, now, really.
I, I, I knew you
wouldn't believe me.
Yeah, you don't mean amnesia.
What you mean...
What do you mean?
Look, if Puddy Tat can
have a birthday cake
and Prince can have a massage,
why can't my horse have amnesia?
Oh, no, no, no. Prince
had the birthday cake,
and Puddy Tat had the massage.
You're mixed up.
I'm the... my horse is mixed up!
All right. Uh, let's
have a look at him.
Well, I couldn't get
him to come down here.
Why not?
He doesn't think he's a horse.
How do you know?
Because he thinks I'm a horse.
Mr. Post, suppose we
begin at the beginning?
Well, it all began when
this pail fell on his head.
How did that happen?
Well, because I hid the carrots.
Look, doctor, I know
what you're thinking,
and I don't blame
you, but believe me,
the horse has lost his memory.
He keeps calling
me Sam and Charley.
Mr. Post, I think you
should see a doctor.
You're a doctor.
No, you need a people doctor.
I don't. Oh, but maybe Ed does.
I mean, after all, he
thinks he's a people...
He's a person.
Yeah, yeah, I'll get a real
doctor to examine him.
Thank you very much, Dr. Baker.
Bye, Puddy Tat.
Happy Birthday, Prince.
Sing along.
Some people are
around animals too much.
[cat meowing]
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
Happy Birthday!
[laughing]
I'm glad you finally
admit I'm not a horse.
That's right, so I thought
I'd get a real doctor
to come over and
take care of you.
Get one with a pretty nurse.
I'm starting with the A's here.
[Ed clearing his throat]
Hello. Is Dr. Able in, please?
Well, nurse, this is Mr. Post.
Yeah, I wonder if the doctor
could come over to
my house right away.
Well, no, I'm
fine. It's my horse.
He's got amnesia.
[click]
Hello? Uh, hello?
[humming]
Hello. Dr. Adams, please.
Oh, doctor, my
horse has amnesia,
- and I was thinking...
- [click]
Hello? Doc, Doc. Hello?
[humming]
Hello, Doctor, uh, Dr. Miller?
Dr. Miller, I want to talk to
you about an amnesia victim.
Yes.
No, not me. It's my horse.
- [click]
- Hello?
[Ed yawning]
Hello? Uh, Dr. Zelenka?
Dr. Zelenka, before I
tell you my problem,
you've got to believe me.
You're the last
doctor in the book,
so, promise you
won't hang up on me.
I'm desperate.
Ah, thank you, Doctor.
Well, a pail of carrots
fell on my horse's head,
- and he has amnesia.
- [click]
Doctor, you promised!
Well, if you ask me, you
need a doctor yourself.
Oh.
You know, you may be right.
I mean, if I could get a
doctor to treat me for amnesia,
then I could find
out how to treat you.
All I've gotta do
is convince Carol,
and she may call one.
It's worth a chance.
[door closing]
Oh, that poor horse.
I hope the doctor can help him.
Honey, please hurry.
You're holding us up.
Okay, gang, relax.
I'll be right down.
A concert, huh? [chuckling]
Ooh!
[Carol] Oh, Wilbur!
Oh! Oh!
Wilbur! Oh, Wilbur!
Oh, he hit his head.
Wilbur, are you all right?
His eyes look glassy.
He always looks like that.
Oh, Wilbur, did
you hurt yourself?
Wilbur? Who's Wilbur?
Who are you people, anyway?
Where am I?
Oh, Wilbur, you
did hurt yourself!
Please, miss! I'm a married man.
He's only faking.
Mister, will you
take your daughter
and get out of here?
He's got amnesia.
Daughter?
I like him better with amnesia.
Wilbur.
Will you stop shouting
at me, Louise?
Louise?
Why are you calling me Louise?
For the same reason
you're calling me Wilbur.
Now, wait a minute.
He just doesn't want to
go to the concert tonight.
The concert. Of course!
Where's my piano?
Piano?
How can I play tonight
without my piano?
He thinks he plays the piano.
Thinks? Thinks?
Everybody knows
Rabinski plays the piano.
Hello, Dr. Cathcart?
This is Carol Post.
Oh, please hurry
over here right away.
I'm worried about Wilbur.
Well, what do you think?
Mm, his left eye
is a little bloodshot.
I'd cut out those
late nights, big boy.
Now he thinks he's a doctor.
I am not a doctor. I
am Vladimir Rabinski!
Before the accident,
he couldn't even
say Vladimir Rabinski.
It's a clear case of amnesia.
Oh, poor dear.
Oh, if I wasn't
married... [growling]
Maybe you ought to get amnesia.
[Roger growling]
Doctor, what are we going to do?
Well, there's no specific cure.
The duration can
be long or short.
Sometimes, however,
these things have
been known to disappear
as quickly as they come.
You let him have a
good night's sleep.
I'll examine him in
my office tomorrow.
But, Doctor, don't go.
I haven't found
out yet how to, uh,
how to get rid of
these strangers.
Would you mind stepping
outside, so we can talk privately?
Please?
This is good. I'm
gaining his confidence.
Oh, Doctor, please do something.
I'm going to feel funny
living here with Wilbur,
and he not knowing
we're even married.
Come in, Doctor.
Well, why are you
bringing me into this barn?
Doctor, I, I want
to level with you.
Yeah?
Doctor, I'm not sick.
That's the attitude!
It's my horse who's sick.
Yeah.
Horse?
He can't remember who he is.
Oh, I see.
It's your, uh, it's your
horse who has the amnesia.
Finally, somebody understands!
Well, I'll, I'll, uh,
tell you what to do.
You will?
Mm-hmm. You get
a good night's rest,
and you and your horse come
to my office in the morning.
I'll treat you both.
Yeah... No, Doctor,
Doctor, you don't understand.
What, what, what I'm
trying to tell you is...
[clunk]
Well, he didn't
believe a word I said.
He thinks I'm sick.
He's not alone.
[sigh]
Well, well, if I can't find out
some way of helping you,
I might as well tell
Carol and the others
that I'm all right.
And I realize it's a lot
more serious than I thought.
But you did say that
people do get better, Doctor.
How?
[Dr. Cathcart] There
are numerous ways
amnesia patients recover...
Sometimes months of
rest, shock treatments.
Sometimes a cure
is quickly affected
by another blow
to the same area.
You never can tell just exactly
how the cure is brought about.
Oh, I was just, I...
Get him to my office
first thing in the morning.
Thank you, Dr. Cathcart.
Oh, I just can't stand
Wilbur's being sick like this.
If only we could help
bring back his memory.
It might take months of rest.
Hey, wait.
The doctor just said
another hit on the head
might bring back his
memory immediately.
That's right!
Oh, but I couldn't deliberately
hit Wilbur on the head.
Oh, I couldn't, either.
I could.
Roger!
He's my friend,
and a friend doesn't turn
his back on another friend
when he needs a
good hit in the head.
What would you hit him with?
In my car, I've got a crowbar.
A hammer?
A rock?
Well, I can't hit him
with a marshmallow.
Maybe an umbrella would work.
[door opening upstairs]
Uh, Mr. Rabinski,
what do you think of
Shostakovich and Stravinsky
as exponents of modern music?
Well, uh, now, that's a
very difficult question.
What do you think?
Huh? Uh, I think it might rain.
Why don't you take this
to the concert with you?
No, thanks. I always
conduct with a baton.
Ah, Ed, it's gonna
be all right now.
Everything's going to be
fine, but I have to use this,
so just close your eyes, huh?
Look, stranger, why
should I close my eyes?
I don't even trust you
when they're open.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I just have to give you
a little rap on
the head with this.
Ed, I'm doing it
for your own good.
Ed, listen to me.
This is going to hurt me a
lot more than it hurts you.
[Ed] Okay, then hit
yourself on the head!
Ed, open these doors!
Ed, listen to me!
- [pail clanking]
- [Ed] Oh! Oh, my head.
Ed, Ed, what's going on?
Ed! What happened?
That darn pail hit me
on the head, Wilbur.
Serves you right
for locking me out.
Wait. Wilbur?
You called me Wilbur.
Well, what am I
supposed to call you?
But... But you're all right.
You've got your memory back.
Now, when did I ever lose it?
This is wonderful!
You know, I'm a little
worried about you, pal.
Ed, it's so great
to have you back.
I'm so happy, I don't
know what to say.
While you're so happy,
make me happy with
a bucket of carrots.
Okay, fella! [laughing]
Wait, wait a minute.
Now that you're all right,
I, I'd better let the
others know that,
that I'm all right.
Oh, it's great to have you back!
[laughing excitedly]
[Roger] I had
him right on target,
but, cowardly
weakling that I am,
I couldn't go through with it.
Well, maybe it's for the
best you didn't hit him.
[Carol] Oh, yes. I
just wouldn't feel right
having you hit Wilbur.
Excuse me, strangers.
I want to get my piano music.
I don't want to be
late for my concert.
Whoa!
Wilbur!
Oh, Carol, how many
times have I asked you
not to polish this
floor so much.
Carol? He called me Carol!
Oh, darling, you
called me Carol!
Well, what was I
supposed to call you?
Roger? Kay? [laughs]
Mm, I'd better get
dressed, honey.
I'll be late for the concert.
Ah, he's all right!
By the way, where have
you been all afternoon?
Oh!
He's all right!
He regained his memory!
Oh, well, I'll get
him some other time.
Ed, you still awake?
Yep.
I thought I'd drop by
and have a little
after-concert snack with you.
[Ed] Great idea.
Oh!
[mouth full] Thank you.
How was the concert?
Mm, great, great.
Did you fall asleep?
Only during the music.
That's my boy!
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
[Man] This has been a
Filmways presentation.