Mister Ed (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 4 - Ed the Redecorator - full transcript
Both Carol and Ed want Wilbur to hire a famous decorator to redo the house and stable in a Hawaiian Modern motif.
[whinnies]
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
[chuckles]
Oh, wait a minute.
You're pathetic.
Give me that putter.
You're going to put?
Somebody's got to show
you what you're doing wrong.
Okay, here you go.
Put the ball down.
All right. All right.
Go ahead, Mr. Snead.
[Mister Ed] See
how simple it is?
You say I was
stabbing the ball, huh?
You're right.
Who's right?
Uh... Uh, I'm right.
I always tell myself
how to play games.
I mean if you can't trust
yourself who can you trust?
For a start, I'd
suggest a psychiatrist.
Kay left the me this note
saying she'd be back around 4.
Have you any idea
where she went?
She was supposed to call an
electrician to fix our bridge lamp.
Well, Carol took her to
the home decorator show.
I get free tickets every year.
Oh, fine. Those
free tickets of yours
will probably cost me a fortune.
Now Kay will come home
full of expensive ideas
on how to redecorate our house.
Oh, I doubt that, Rog.
Why, you just
decorated it 15 years ago.
14.
Now, it isn't the money, Wilbur.
- You of all people
should know that.
- Oh, I know that, Rog.
I mean, you're the first man
to pick up a check
in a restaurant.
You never deprive
Kay of anything.
And the whole neighborhood knows
you're generous to a fault.
This is a recording.
How droll.
Rog, I'd like to show
you a little putting trick
I learned from a putting expert.
No, no, no. Not right now.
I've got to get back
and fix that bridge lamp.
Fix the bridge lamp?
Well, look, I'll get my toolbox.
No, no. No, thanks.
The last thing you
fixed was our toaster.
What's wrong? Doesn't it pop up?
Like an atlas missile.
Our entire kitchen ceiling
is done in pumpernickel.
Well, you get a
long butter knife.
I'm a little weak on toasters,
but I'm great on lamps.
Come on, we'll get my toolbox.
They'll be eating by
candle light tonight.
Wilbur?
Kay, they must be
over at your place.
Come on, I'm dying to
show Wilbur this brochure.
Uh, Carol, I know you
like that Hawaiian furniture,
but do you think it's a good idea
to redecorate your whole house?
I mean what's
Wilbur going to say?
Oh, when he sees
these pictures, he'll flip.
Yeah, when he sees
those prices, he'll flop.
[Carol] But we don't
have to pay cash.
That decorator,
uh, Beverly Cavell,
he said he could
arrange all the financing.
[chuckles]
Uh, where are you going?
I'm going to put Mr. Cavell's
brochure on Wilbur's desk.
After all he's an architect and once
he sees this gorgeous Hawaiian motif.
He'll run right
down to the bank.
Yeah, throw himself
right off the roof.
Wilbur, maybe I better
call an electrician.
You don't mind, a little
positive thinking, please.
All right, I'm positive I
ought to call an electrician.
What for? It's all fixed.
There we are.
Now I just take the plug
and put the plug into
the... Into the thing here.
There. And let there be light.
Funny, wonder what's wrong.
Well, I haven't your
vast technical knowledge,
but speaking as a laymen,
I would suggest
you put in that bulb.
Oh. [chuckles]
Rog, you may have
stumbled on the answer.
There we are.
This will fix it.
Your good old lamp will
be just as good as new.
[bulb pops]
Should I bury it in the
backyard next to the toaster?
[phone rings]
Hello.
Yes, he's right here. Hold it.
It's for you, Mr. Edison.
Hello.
Wilbur, your wife is trying to
squander our money again.
What do you mean?
Oh.
Hawaiian modern, huh?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Oh, here they are, sweetie.
Oh, Wilbur, thanks so much. I
really enjoyed the decorator show.
- Good.
- Addison, you just
should have seem...
Nothing in this house
is going to be changed.
- I agree. I'm telling
you right here.
You can cry. You
can stamp your feet.
What did you say?
What? I love our
house just the way it is.
I didn't see a thing
I wanted to buy.
All right, who are you,
and what are you doing
in my wife's clothes?
Carol, how did
you like the show?
Oh, it was very nice.
They had some
very interesting ideas.
Personally, I can't
stand Hawaiian modern.
Who said anything
about Hawaiian modern?
Isn't that what you
were leading up to?
Having the whole
house redecorated.
Well, yes, but how did you know?
Oh, well, when you came in,
your eyes looked
like two coconuts.
Kay?
I didn't tell him.
I was with you.
Wilbur, how did you know?
My dear, you married a man
with strange mystical powers.
Just keep him away
from lamps and toaster.
I got to get back to work.
Oh and, uh, you can throw away
that brochure you
put on my desk.
How... How did you know that?
Swami sees all, knows all.
Kay?
I don't know how
he did it, sweetie.
But you're wired for sound.
Yeah. [chuckles]
What a nice brochure.
Yeah, that interior decorator
has some interesting ideas.
Hanging grass mats on the wall.
How charming.
Hey, Wilbur.
Wake up.
Wake up, buddy boy.
Oh, what is it, Ed?
Can you imagine your wife
wanting to redecorate
the whole house?
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, that's what I told her.
The trouble spot is right here.
What?
My room, it looks like a stable.
Well, it is a stable.
Doesn't mean it
has to look like one.
Now just a minute, Ed.
What are you driving at?
I want my stable done
over in Hawaiian modern.
Oh, you're kidding.
No, I'm not.
You think I like
living this way?
Well, you never
complained before.
True, but don't you wonder
why I never invite
any of my friends over?
All right, tell
you what I'll do.
Next week, I'll give your
stall a fresh coat of paint.
No.
Wallpaper.
Grass wallpaper.
Grass wallpaper?
Yup.
You just want
something to nibble on
while you're
watching television.
- That's right.
- This what I'm gonna do.
I'll repaint and I'll change the
straw on the floor, but that's all.
I'll bet you didn't
buy your wife off
with a coat of paint
and a change of straw.
I didn't have to buy her off.
I simple told her we
couldn't afford to redecorate
and that was the end of it.
- Oh.
- [phone rings]
Excuse me, Ed.
Hello.
Oh, yeah, honey.
Lunch? Be right in.
- Gonna have lunch, Ed.
- Wilbur.
Yeah.
You're leaving a
very unhappy horse.
You'll get over it.
♪♪ [Hawaiian music]
What are you going
to do now, Lilani?
Dive for pennies?
Alhoa au i ã'oe.
It means I love you, darling.
Wicky-wacky hulli
yacky-hicky doola.
That means you
can wiggle all day,
we are not doing the house over.
What's going on?
Just ignore her, Rog.
Oh, I am. I am.
Uh.
Uh-uh.
Well, I see the natives
are restless tonight.
What's going on?
Don't ask me. I
just got off the boat.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I haven't had so
much fun in years.
- Wonderful.
- Oh, isn't it?
Oh.
Hello, Kay.
But, darling, I haven't
finished my number.
Oh, Wilbur, admit it.
Wouldn't be fun to have
every luncheon like this?
Honey, I loved your show,
but I think that was
your closing performance.
Oh, Wilbur, at least
talk to the decorator.
Sorry, Tondelayo.
If you folks will excuse me,
I'm due for a haircut
on the mainland.
Uh, if you go for
this Hawaiian stuff,
I'll learn the hula.
You do, and we're
back to 49 states.
His wife's a cinch to
get the house done.
There's only one way to get
my barn done at the same time.
Call that decorator myself.
Operator.
[doorbell rings]
- Hello, Mrs. Post.
- Why, Mr. Cavell.
Didn't your husband
tell you he phoned me?
Well, no, but... Please
come in. Come in.
Oh, that's just like my husband.
He always loves to surprise me.
Mr. Cavell, ever since I saw
your display at the decorator show,
that's all I've
been talking about.
Oh, this room has great
possibilities, Mrs. Post.
It just screams for
Hawaiian modern.
I've been doing a
little screaming myself,
but I never thought
it would do any good.
Make yourself
comfortable, Mr. Cavell.
I'll get my husband.
Thank you.
♪ Aloha Oe ♪
Wilbur. Wilbur.
Oh, darling, what a
wonderful surprise.
What's the surprise? I told
you I was going to get a haircut.
Oh, honey, stop it.
This beats any gift
you ever given me.
Honey, you deserved it.
Whatever it is.
Wilbur, the joke is over.
I know you called that
decorator, Mr. Cavell.
He's in the living
room waiting for us.
Mr. Cavell?
He said the house was just
perfect for Hawaiian modern.
Well, come on, honey.
His time is valuable.
Well, you know
how expensive he is?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
You go on ahead, Carol.
I got to put all
this stuff away.
All right, darling.
Oh, you sweet wonderful man.
Careful now.
A man can get five years
for hitting a horse
with glasses.
Ed, this... this is the
dirtiest trick you ever pulled.
You've got me in a
terrible jam with Carol
and I don't know how
I'm going to get out of it.
Do you know what it would cost
to have Beverly
Cavell do the house?
But I only wanted
him to do the barn.
He doesn't do barns!
Yell, but don't hit.
How am I gonna get rid of
this guy and still keep my wife.
Ed, what were you thinking
about when you phoned him?
Hawaiian modern.
Hawaiian?
That's ridiculous.
Asking a famous
decorator like Beverly Cavell
to do your barn?
Why, a man with his reputation?
If you asked him to do a barn,
he'd walk right out of
here and never come back.
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
Ask him to do a barn.
And right along here,
I'll put a drift wood planter
to give us that
outside-inside feeling.
Oh, yes.
And now to capture the warm,
lush, sensuality of the tropics.
I suggest a mural here
in the style of, let's say,
- Gaugin.
- Gaugin.
Marvelous. Simply heavenly.
Oh, Mr. Cavell, you're
bringing this whole room to life
Oh, Wilbur, just wait until
you hear Mr. Cavell's ideas.
They're just wonderful.
I'm sure they are.
Hi, I'm Wilbur Post.
A pleasure. Uh, Mr. Post, I
must admit I'm a little surprised.
Your voice, it sounded so
much deeper over the phone.
Uh, yeah, well, it
starts low in the morning
and then gains
altitude during the day.
Yes.
Mr. Cavell and I would like
to talk business a few minutes.
All right, I'll fix my coffee.
Excuse me, Mr. Cavell.
Oh, go get him.
Now, Mr. Cavell.
Uh, Mr. Post, I better
warn you, I'm not cheap.
Oh, I don't want
to haggle. Oh, no.
Actually, I don't want
to do the whole house.
I thought we start
with just one room.
Oh, well, what room
did you want me to do?
If you'll follow
me I'll show you.
This room you
want done, Mr. Post.
What is it?
A guest house?
Uh, not exactly, no.
A rumpus room?
Well, I wouldn't
call it that, either.
Will anyone be living in it?
Yeah, my horse.
Your horse?
Right this way, Mr. Cavell.
Your horse?
Now, do you think Hawaiian
modern would go well in here?
Oh, I see, Mr. Post. You
want me to do your office.
Oh, no, no, the office is fine.
I want you to do the stall.
Stall?
But really, Mr. Post,
you must be joking?
You're asking Beverly
Cavell to decorate a stable.
Think the job is
to big for you, huh?
Stall?
The house of Cavell has
a reputation to maintain.
- Good day, Mr. Post.
- Good day, Mr. Cavell.
However this is the slow season.
Oh, now, Mr. Cavell,
I wouldn't want
you to do anything
that might damage
your reputation.
Um, I could do it at night.
I think I could make the
stall look quite attractive
and still retain
the barnsey flavor.
The barnsey flavor?
Well, how much monsey... Money.
I have a strict rule.
I never accept a
job for under $1,500.
1,500?
Oh, that is far too much.
But rules are made to be broken.
And, uh, this stall does
represent a challenge.
Well, I put the coffee on.
Oh, honey, we'll be right in.
All right, dear.
Oh, Gaugin.
Now, Mr. Post, why don't
you tell me just how much
you like to spend on the stable.
Stable?
Oh, you're having
that done, too.
Yeah, well...
Yes, dear, this is
the trouble spot.
But we are going
to do our home, too?
Oh, yes. Yes.
Well, get around to
that a couple of years.
If you think this
is a trouble spot,
just wait till you get
back to the house.
Umph, now, uh,
Mr. Post, as I was saying,
we can still keep
that barnsey flavor.
Mr. Cavell, I think
you better put it off
until I call you on the phonsey.
Ah, wonderful dinner tonight.
Everything I like.
Caesar salad. Roast
beef. Au Gratin potatoes.
Apple pie.
Would have been perfect
if you'd been in the
restaurant with me.
Look, honey, we'll do the house.
Believe me.
When?
When, well, just as
soon as we can afford it.
Afford it?
You're ready to do the barn.
Look, I only said that to...
As an excuse to
get rid of Cavell.
I was kind of embarrassed
to tell him he was too high.
So I asked him to do the
barn figuring he walk out on me.
Look, honey, we'll do the house
the minute I find a
man that isn't too high.
Is that a promise?
You bet it is.
Look, I got an idea, honey.
The Addisons have been
after us to go to Palm Springs.
Uh-huh.
Well, then why don't
the four us jump in a car
and take off?
I'd love it.
Oh, darling, I'm
sorry I made you eat
in a restaurant tonight.
You poor kid.
You probably didn't
even have any dinner.
Who didn't? I was in the
booth right next to you.
Good morning, Ed.
Uh, hi, Wilbur.
Did you patch things
up with your wife?
- Yeah, no thanks to you.
- What?
We're leaving for
Palm Springs right now.
Oh, boy. That sun
will do me a lot of good.
I've been looking a little pale.
You're not going.
Not going?
Yeah, I owe this trip to Carol.
She was very upset about
not getting the house done.
And I was upset about
not getting my stall done,
so take me, too.
I'm sorry, old boy.
But you'll be
well taken care of.
I've ask Mr. Johnson across
the street to look in on you.
Oh.
They're waiting for me.
Send you a post card, Ed.
[mocking] "Send
you a post card, Ed."
Everything for
her. Nothing for me.
Treats me like
some kind of animal.
I'll show him.
Won't they be surprise
when they get home.
Information, please.
Oh, honey, we had
such a wonderful time.
Yeah, well, it's nice
to be home isn't it?
Oh, yes, but I could have
stayed another couple of days.
Excuse me, honey. I
better see how Ed is.
- All right, dear.
- Just leave the bags here.
Oh, no, I'll get them.
Good, I was hoping you would.
[whistling]
Good morning, Ed.
♪♪ [Hawaiian music]
[singing Hawaiian song]
[music stops]
Uh, welcome to
the islands, malahini.
Ed, you flipped.
You flipped.
Well, when Carol sees
this she'll leave me.
And I will leave you.
Leave me? Now, wait a minute,
Wilbur. You wouldn't do that.
I'm only a dumb animal.
Not too dumb to phone Cavell
and have him
redecorate your stall.
Well, I just thought
once you saw it.
Once my wife sees
this, you are finished.
Finished?
Now, look, Ed.
You got this stuff,
now you get rid of it.
Everything has to go.
Well, okay, Wilbur. But
you won't leave me, huh?
Not if it's gone
before Carol sees...
[Carol] Wilbur?
Wilbur, what's keeping you?
Ed, you phone Cavell and
send all of this stuff back.
Do you understand?
Yes.
Gee, I thought he'd like it.
Honey, uh, did you say
you could spend another
couple of days in Palm Springs?
Well, yes... So could
I. Come on, let's go.
But... Whoa.
That's right, Mr. Cavell.
Yes, this is Mr. Post.
Uh... [coughs]
I have a cold today.
Uh, Mr. Cavell,
everything has to go back.
You see my horse
is allergic to straw.
[mumbles]
Nice morning.
Uh, how about a ride
through the park on me?
I got rid of all the furniture.
Carol never found out.
And I haven't used
the phone in three days.
[phone rings]
Hello.
Gee.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
[Man] This has been a
Filmways television presentation.
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
[chuckles]
Oh, wait a minute.
You're pathetic.
Give me that putter.
You're going to put?
Somebody's got to show
you what you're doing wrong.
Okay, here you go.
Put the ball down.
All right. All right.
Go ahead, Mr. Snead.
[Mister Ed] See
how simple it is?
You say I was
stabbing the ball, huh?
You're right.
Who's right?
Uh... Uh, I'm right.
I always tell myself
how to play games.
I mean if you can't trust
yourself who can you trust?
For a start, I'd
suggest a psychiatrist.
Kay left the me this note
saying she'd be back around 4.
Have you any idea
where she went?
She was supposed to call an
electrician to fix our bridge lamp.
Well, Carol took her to
the home decorator show.
I get free tickets every year.
Oh, fine. Those
free tickets of yours
will probably cost me a fortune.
Now Kay will come home
full of expensive ideas
on how to redecorate our house.
Oh, I doubt that, Rog.
Why, you just
decorated it 15 years ago.
14.
Now, it isn't the money, Wilbur.
- You of all people
should know that.
- Oh, I know that, Rog.
I mean, you're the first man
to pick up a check
in a restaurant.
You never deprive
Kay of anything.
And the whole neighborhood knows
you're generous to a fault.
This is a recording.
How droll.
Rog, I'd like to show
you a little putting trick
I learned from a putting expert.
No, no, no. Not right now.
I've got to get back
and fix that bridge lamp.
Fix the bridge lamp?
Well, look, I'll get my toolbox.
No, no. No, thanks.
The last thing you
fixed was our toaster.
What's wrong? Doesn't it pop up?
Like an atlas missile.
Our entire kitchen ceiling
is done in pumpernickel.
Well, you get a
long butter knife.
I'm a little weak on toasters,
but I'm great on lamps.
Come on, we'll get my toolbox.
They'll be eating by
candle light tonight.
Wilbur?
Kay, they must be
over at your place.
Come on, I'm dying to
show Wilbur this brochure.
Uh, Carol, I know you
like that Hawaiian furniture,
but do you think it's a good idea
to redecorate your whole house?
I mean what's
Wilbur going to say?
Oh, when he sees
these pictures, he'll flip.
Yeah, when he sees
those prices, he'll flop.
[Carol] But we don't
have to pay cash.
That decorator,
uh, Beverly Cavell,
he said he could
arrange all the financing.
[chuckles]
Uh, where are you going?
I'm going to put Mr. Cavell's
brochure on Wilbur's desk.
After all he's an architect and once
he sees this gorgeous Hawaiian motif.
He'll run right
down to the bank.
Yeah, throw himself
right off the roof.
Wilbur, maybe I better
call an electrician.
You don't mind, a little
positive thinking, please.
All right, I'm positive I
ought to call an electrician.
What for? It's all fixed.
There we are.
Now I just take the plug
and put the plug into
the... Into the thing here.
There. And let there be light.
Funny, wonder what's wrong.
Well, I haven't your
vast technical knowledge,
but speaking as a laymen,
I would suggest
you put in that bulb.
Oh. [chuckles]
Rog, you may have
stumbled on the answer.
There we are.
This will fix it.
Your good old lamp will
be just as good as new.
[bulb pops]
Should I bury it in the
backyard next to the toaster?
[phone rings]
Hello.
Yes, he's right here. Hold it.
It's for you, Mr. Edison.
Hello.
Wilbur, your wife is trying to
squander our money again.
What do you mean?
Oh.
Hawaiian modern, huh?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Oh, here they are, sweetie.
Oh, Wilbur, thanks so much. I
really enjoyed the decorator show.
- Good.
- Addison, you just
should have seem...
Nothing in this house
is going to be changed.
- I agree. I'm telling
you right here.
You can cry. You
can stamp your feet.
What did you say?
What? I love our
house just the way it is.
I didn't see a thing
I wanted to buy.
All right, who are you,
and what are you doing
in my wife's clothes?
Carol, how did
you like the show?
Oh, it was very nice.
They had some
very interesting ideas.
Personally, I can't
stand Hawaiian modern.
Who said anything
about Hawaiian modern?
Isn't that what you
were leading up to?
Having the whole
house redecorated.
Well, yes, but how did you know?
Oh, well, when you came in,
your eyes looked
like two coconuts.
Kay?
I didn't tell him.
I was with you.
Wilbur, how did you know?
My dear, you married a man
with strange mystical powers.
Just keep him away
from lamps and toaster.
I got to get back to work.
Oh and, uh, you can throw away
that brochure you
put on my desk.
How... How did you know that?
Swami sees all, knows all.
Kay?
I don't know how
he did it, sweetie.
But you're wired for sound.
Yeah. [chuckles]
What a nice brochure.
Yeah, that interior decorator
has some interesting ideas.
Hanging grass mats on the wall.
How charming.
Hey, Wilbur.
Wake up.
Wake up, buddy boy.
Oh, what is it, Ed?
Can you imagine your wife
wanting to redecorate
the whole house?
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, that's what I told her.
The trouble spot is right here.
What?
My room, it looks like a stable.
Well, it is a stable.
Doesn't mean it
has to look like one.
Now just a minute, Ed.
What are you driving at?
I want my stable done
over in Hawaiian modern.
Oh, you're kidding.
No, I'm not.
You think I like
living this way?
Well, you never
complained before.
True, but don't you wonder
why I never invite
any of my friends over?
All right, tell
you what I'll do.
Next week, I'll give your
stall a fresh coat of paint.
No.
Wallpaper.
Grass wallpaper.
Grass wallpaper?
Yup.
You just want
something to nibble on
while you're
watching television.
- That's right.
- This what I'm gonna do.
I'll repaint and I'll change the
straw on the floor, but that's all.
I'll bet you didn't
buy your wife off
with a coat of paint
and a change of straw.
I didn't have to buy her off.
I simple told her we
couldn't afford to redecorate
and that was the end of it.
- Oh.
- [phone rings]
Excuse me, Ed.
Hello.
Oh, yeah, honey.
Lunch? Be right in.
- Gonna have lunch, Ed.
- Wilbur.
Yeah.
You're leaving a
very unhappy horse.
You'll get over it.
♪♪ [Hawaiian music]
What are you going
to do now, Lilani?
Dive for pennies?
Alhoa au i ã'oe.
It means I love you, darling.
Wicky-wacky hulli
yacky-hicky doola.
That means you
can wiggle all day,
we are not doing the house over.
What's going on?
Just ignore her, Rog.
Oh, I am. I am.
Uh.
Uh-uh.
Well, I see the natives
are restless tonight.
What's going on?
Don't ask me. I
just got off the boat.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I haven't had so
much fun in years.
- Wonderful.
- Oh, isn't it?
Oh.
Hello, Kay.
But, darling, I haven't
finished my number.
Oh, Wilbur, admit it.
Wouldn't be fun to have
every luncheon like this?
Honey, I loved your show,
but I think that was
your closing performance.
Oh, Wilbur, at least
talk to the decorator.
Sorry, Tondelayo.
If you folks will excuse me,
I'm due for a haircut
on the mainland.
Uh, if you go for
this Hawaiian stuff,
I'll learn the hula.
You do, and we're
back to 49 states.
His wife's a cinch to
get the house done.
There's only one way to get
my barn done at the same time.
Call that decorator myself.
Operator.
[doorbell rings]
- Hello, Mrs. Post.
- Why, Mr. Cavell.
Didn't your husband
tell you he phoned me?
Well, no, but... Please
come in. Come in.
Oh, that's just like my husband.
He always loves to surprise me.
Mr. Cavell, ever since I saw
your display at the decorator show,
that's all I've
been talking about.
Oh, this room has great
possibilities, Mrs. Post.
It just screams for
Hawaiian modern.
I've been doing a
little screaming myself,
but I never thought
it would do any good.
Make yourself
comfortable, Mr. Cavell.
I'll get my husband.
Thank you.
♪ Aloha Oe ♪
Wilbur. Wilbur.
Oh, darling, what a
wonderful surprise.
What's the surprise? I told
you I was going to get a haircut.
Oh, honey, stop it.
This beats any gift
you ever given me.
Honey, you deserved it.
Whatever it is.
Wilbur, the joke is over.
I know you called that
decorator, Mr. Cavell.
He's in the living
room waiting for us.
Mr. Cavell?
He said the house was just
perfect for Hawaiian modern.
Well, come on, honey.
His time is valuable.
Well, you know
how expensive he is?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
You go on ahead, Carol.
I got to put all
this stuff away.
All right, darling.
Oh, you sweet wonderful man.
Careful now.
A man can get five years
for hitting a horse
with glasses.
Ed, this... this is the
dirtiest trick you ever pulled.
You've got me in a
terrible jam with Carol
and I don't know how
I'm going to get out of it.
Do you know what it would cost
to have Beverly
Cavell do the house?
But I only wanted
him to do the barn.
He doesn't do barns!
Yell, but don't hit.
How am I gonna get rid of
this guy and still keep my wife.
Ed, what were you thinking
about when you phoned him?
Hawaiian modern.
Hawaiian?
That's ridiculous.
Asking a famous
decorator like Beverly Cavell
to do your barn?
Why, a man with his reputation?
If you asked him to do a barn,
he'd walk right out of
here and never come back.
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
Ask him to do a barn.
And right along here,
I'll put a drift wood planter
to give us that
outside-inside feeling.
Oh, yes.
And now to capture the warm,
lush, sensuality of the tropics.
I suggest a mural here
in the style of, let's say,
- Gaugin.
- Gaugin.
Marvelous. Simply heavenly.
Oh, Mr. Cavell, you're
bringing this whole room to life
Oh, Wilbur, just wait until
you hear Mr. Cavell's ideas.
They're just wonderful.
I'm sure they are.
Hi, I'm Wilbur Post.
A pleasure. Uh, Mr. Post, I
must admit I'm a little surprised.
Your voice, it sounded so
much deeper over the phone.
Uh, yeah, well, it
starts low in the morning
and then gains
altitude during the day.
Yes.
Mr. Cavell and I would like
to talk business a few minutes.
All right, I'll fix my coffee.
Excuse me, Mr. Cavell.
Oh, go get him.
Now, Mr. Cavell.
Uh, Mr. Post, I better
warn you, I'm not cheap.
Oh, I don't want
to haggle. Oh, no.
Actually, I don't want
to do the whole house.
I thought we start
with just one room.
Oh, well, what room
did you want me to do?
If you'll follow
me I'll show you.
This room you
want done, Mr. Post.
What is it?
A guest house?
Uh, not exactly, no.
A rumpus room?
Well, I wouldn't
call it that, either.
Will anyone be living in it?
Yeah, my horse.
Your horse?
Right this way, Mr. Cavell.
Your horse?
Now, do you think Hawaiian
modern would go well in here?
Oh, I see, Mr. Post. You
want me to do your office.
Oh, no, no, the office is fine.
I want you to do the stall.
Stall?
But really, Mr. Post,
you must be joking?
You're asking Beverly
Cavell to decorate a stable.
Think the job is
to big for you, huh?
Stall?
The house of Cavell has
a reputation to maintain.
- Good day, Mr. Post.
- Good day, Mr. Cavell.
However this is the slow season.
Oh, now, Mr. Cavell,
I wouldn't want
you to do anything
that might damage
your reputation.
Um, I could do it at night.
I think I could make the
stall look quite attractive
and still retain
the barnsey flavor.
The barnsey flavor?
Well, how much monsey... Money.
I have a strict rule.
I never accept a
job for under $1,500.
1,500?
Oh, that is far too much.
But rules are made to be broken.
And, uh, this stall does
represent a challenge.
Well, I put the coffee on.
Oh, honey, we'll be right in.
All right, dear.
Oh, Gaugin.
Now, Mr. Post, why don't
you tell me just how much
you like to spend on the stable.
Stable?
Oh, you're having
that done, too.
Yeah, well...
Yes, dear, this is
the trouble spot.
But we are going
to do our home, too?
Oh, yes. Yes.
Well, get around to
that a couple of years.
If you think this
is a trouble spot,
just wait till you get
back to the house.
Umph, now, uh,
Mr. Post, as I was saying,
we can still keep
that barnsey flavor.
Mr. Cavell, I think
you better put it off
until I call you on the phonsey.
Ah, wonderful dinner tonight.
Everything I like.
Caesar salad. Roast
beef. Au Gratin potatoes.
Apple pie.
Would have been perfect
if you'd been in the
restaurant with me.
Look, honey, we'll do the house.
Believe me.
When?
When, well, just as
soon as we can afford it.
Afford it?
You're ready to do the barn.
Look, I only said that to...
As an excuse to
get rid of Cavell.
I was kind of embarrassed
to tell him he was too high.
So I asked him to do the
barn figuring he walk out on me.
Look, honey, we'll do the house
the minute I find a
man that isn't too high.
Is that a promise?
You bet it is.
Look, I got an idea, honey.
The Addisons have been
after us to go to Palm Springs.
Uh-huh.
Well, then why don't
the four us jump in a car
and take off?
I'd love it.
Oh, darling, I'm
sorry I made you eat
in a restaurant tonight.
You poor kid.
You probably didn't
even have any dinner.
Who didn't? I was in the
booth right next to you.
Good morning, Ed.
Uh, hi, Wilbur.
Did you patch things
up with your wife?
- Yeah, no thanks to you.
- What?
We're leaving for
Palm Springs right now.
Oh, boy. That sun
will do me a lot of good.
I've been looking a little pale.
You're not going.
Not going?
Yeah, I owe this trip to Carol.
She was very upset about
not getting the house done.
And I was upset about
not getting my stall done,
so take me, too.
I'm sorry, old boy.
But you'll be
well taken care of.
I've ask Mr. Johnson across
the street to look in on you.
Oh.
They're waiting for me.
Send you a post card, Ed.
[mocking] "Send
you a post card, Ed."
Everything for
her. Nothing for me.
Treats me like
some kind of animal.
I'll show him.
Won't they be surprise
when they get home.
Information, please.
Oh, honey, we had
such a wonderful time.
Yeah, well, it's nice
to be home isn't it?
Oh, yes, but I could have
stayed another couple of days.
Excuse me, honey. I
better see how Ed is.
- All right, dear.
- Just leave the bags here.
Oh, no, I'll get them.
Good, I was hoping you would.
[whistling]
Good morning, Ed.
♪♪ [Hawaiian music]
[singing Hawaiian song]
[music stops]
Uh, welcome to
the islands, malahini.
Ed, you flipped.
You flipped.
Well, when Carol sees
this she'll leave me.
And I will leave you.
Leave me? Now, wait a minute,
Wilbur. You wouldn't do that.
I'm only a dumb animal.
Not too dumb to phone Cavell
and have him
redecorate your stall.
Well, I just thought
once you saw it.
Once my wife sees
this, you are finished.
Finished?
Now, look, Ed.
You got this stuff,
now you get rid of it.
Everything has to go.
Well, okay, Wilbur. But
you won't leave me, huh?
Not if it's gone
before Carol sees...
[Carol] Wilbur?
Wilbur, what's keeping you?
Ed, you phone Cavell and
send all of this stuff back.
Do you understand?
Yes.
Gee, I thought he'd like it.
Honey, uh, did you say
you could spend another
couple of days in Palm Springs?
Well, yes... So could
I. Come on, let's go.
But... Whoa.
That's right, Mr. Cavell.
Yes, this is Mr. Post.
Uh... [coughs]
I have a cold today.
Uh, Mr. Cavell,
everything has to go back.
You see my horse
is allergic to straw.
[mumbles]
Nice morning.
Uh, how about a ride
through the park on me?
I got rid of all the furniture.
Carol never found out.
And I haven't used
the phone in three days.
[phone rings]
Hello.
Gee.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
[Man] This has been a
Filmways television presentation.