Mister Ed (1958–1966): Season 1, Episode 25 - Wilbur Sells Ed - full transcript
Wilbur gives away Ed to a prospective client in order to secure a home architecture job.
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
Hi, Ed.
Ready for a walk in the park?
Mm. Oh. Huh.
What's the matter? Little
Orphan Annie in trouble again?
No.
Daddy Warbucks in the hospital?
No.
Little dog got lost, huh?
No.
Then what are you crying about?
I ate some bad hay
and I got a tummy ache.
Cut it out, you faker.
You just don't want
to go out today.
Come on, Ed.
We're going to
go for a little ride.
Well, all right.
Who am I riding?
I never saw a horse like you.
You've got four legs. How
about using them once in a while?
Look who's talking. Drives
around in a car all day.
I'll get it.
No, don't try to make up.
I'll get it.
Hello. Oh, hi, Rog.
Oh, hi, Rog.
Shh.
Wilbur, will you be in
your office for a while?
Good. I'll be right over.
There. What would you do
without Mommy to help you?
I don't know, dear.
- Mommy.
- What?
I hate to be a
perfectionist, my dear,
but shouldn't the right
boot be on the right foot?
Mommy will fix it.
Ed, I don't care
what you say, but...
Ed.
We are going for
a ride in the park.
But my trick knee
is acting up again.
An old football injury.
Football injury?
Yeah. I was watching
a game on TV once,
and the set fell on my foot.
Ed, you're just lazy.
Yeah, the last time
we went to the park,
you stood still so long the
pigeons sat on your back.
Because they love me.
You looked like a statue.
Oh, Wilbur.
Hi, Wilbur.
Hello, Rog.
I'm going riding in the park.
How about joining me?
Well, as a matter of fact,
I was just getting ready to...
Unsaddle Ed.
Got a sore leg.
Oh, then you can
rent one at the stable.
I'm going riding
with Fred Gilbert.
I'd like to have you meet him.
We've got a big real
estate deal cooking,
and I think I can work you in.
Well, that's wonderful.
Fred Gilbert.
Name sounds familiar.
Familiar? He's one of
the richest men around.
He has his own
nine-hole golf course.
A lot of men have that.
Inside the house?
Look, here's his picture
right in the society page.
Fred Gilbert, well-known
real estate tycoon,
with his beautiful black
mare Princess Helen.
Wow, what a horse.
That's the most beautiful
mare I've ever seen.
Now, what is this deal you've
got cooking with Gilbert?
It's a big, and I mean big, real
estate development in Arizona.
The architect's fee
should be considerable.
And you think you
can get me the job?
Well, that depends. Now,
if Gilbert likes you, you're in.
That's why I want you
to go riding with us.
If it's that important,
I can rent a horse.
On the other hand, maybe
I will take Ed with me.
The exercise
might help his knee.
Fine. I'll meet you outside
in about five minutes.
Right.
Come on, Wilbur. Let's go.
What made you change your mind?
Oh, that Princess
Helen is really built.
Oh, you've got an
eye for the ladies, huh?
What a figure.
68-47-68.
Make me look pretty, Wilbur.
Okay, Ed.
I'll put a curl in your tail.
It's an excellent location for the
type of building we have in mind.
Now let me suggest
that when we first...
Gentlemen, there you
are. Three hamburgers.
Just help yourself to ketchup
and the hot mustard over there.
That'll be a dollar and a half.
I've got it.
No, let me.
Boys, I insist.
Oh, I've got it right here.
Good.
- Fred.
- Thank you.
- Roger.
- There you are.
- Thanks. Fine.
- Sit right over there.
Now, as I was saying.
Post, Roger tells me
you're quite an architect.
Oh, I try to do my best.
Don't be modest, my boy.
Fred, this young fellow's designed
some of the finest buildings in this town.
Right, Wilbur?
I don't like to boast.
Well, he did the
Adamses building,
the Kingsley building
and that 14-storey
Woodbury building.
15.
Well, that's another storey.
We've got a lot of
money in this venture.
You strike me as a man
who knows what he's doing.
Why don't you drop
by my house Friday
and we'll discuss some ideas?
We'd better be getting
back to the horses. Come on.
Right, yes, yes.
Beat it, mac.
Hi, Princess. My name's Ed.
Saw your picture in the paper.
Doesn't do you justice.
You're gorgeous.
Where did you get those
big brown eyes, honey?
Oh, sorry.
I forgot, baby.
You don't understand this lingo.
I'll put it to you this way.
Who's a masher?
Let's face it. I'm in love.
Yes, this is Fred Gilbert.
Mm? Yes, what can I do for you?
Mr. Gilbert,
I saw Princess Helen
in the park the other day.
Oh?
She's got the
cutest legs in town.
I beg your pardon?
Would you put the
phone near her?
I want to hear her neigh.
Who is this, some
practical joker?
Believe me, Mr. Gilbert, my
intentions are strictly honorable.
Oh, you want to marry my horse.
Why not?
My father married one.
Are you sure the vet said
there's nothing wrong with Ed?
He couldn't find anything.
Something must be bothering him.
He hasn't eaten since
yesterday morning.
Here, I'll try to tempt
him with these apples.
Here you are, Mr. Ed.
Nice, crisp apples.
Come on, Ed. You
need your vitamins.
You're a growing horse.
Look at his eyes.
He looks dopey.
I'm kind of worried.
Poor Mr. Ed.
He's been just moping around.
He's not eating, not
sleeping, he's losing weight.
You know, honey, you were that
way when you were courting me.
That's not true.
I never turned down
an apple in my life.
Mm. Come on, Ed.
Take a bite. It's delicious.
Well, I hope he's
feeling better soon.
I'll start lunch.
And you better get started on
those sketches for Mr. Gilbert.
Yeah. Okay, honey.
What's the matter, Ed?
Were you ever in love?
Oh, so that's it.
You're in love.
Well, who's the lucky horse?
Princess Helen.
Oh, I'd sure like to
make her my bride.
You're not serious.
Yup. I want a horse
just like the horse
that married dear old Dad.
Wish I could help
you, but what can I do?
Go to Mr. Gilbert and ask for
his horse's hoof in marriage.
Oh, sure, sure.
I can just see myself
saying "Mr. Gilbert,
"my horse is in
love with your horse.
"True, I know he's
not working now,
"but I figure if you and I chip in
a couple bales of hay each week,
"why, we can get those
kids off to a good start."
And then they put me away.
Please take me along
when you go to see Gilbert.
I can't. We're going
to talk business.
But I got to see my girl.
I got to, I just got to.
Okay, okay, okay.
We'll ride over
there after lunch.
Oh, bless you, Wilbur.
Now Ed, will you eat something?
Well, I'll force myself.
Hi, Princess Helen.
I brought you a little gift.
While the men are out talking business,
honey, how about a little smooch?
I drove downtown yesterday
and looked at that 14-story
building you designed.
15, but that's another story.
I told you that joke yesterday.
Yeah, I know. I like it so
much I use it all the time now.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, thanks.
Helen, I love you.
I know you're a thoroughbred and
I'm from the wrong side of the tracks.
Hm. Shoot.
I wish you'd stop eating
when I'm proposing.
I forgot, you don't talk.
Listen, honey.
What do you mean, I'm a tramp?
Look, baby, I'll
teach you to talk.
Repeat after me.
I love you, Eddie.
Come on. It's easy, baby.
I love you.
And the subterranean parking lot
will hold 200 cars.
Aw, come on, baby.
It was just a little kiss.
Oh, what happened, Princess?
What's wrong? Why
aren't you in your stall?
I wish you hadn't brought
your horse over here.
He's evidently upset her.
Meathead.
What did you say?
I didn't say anything.
I suppose your horse
called me meathead.
Well, no, but...
Why don't we go inside the house
and discuss the sketches, Fred?
I don't care to talk
about it now, Post.
Please take your
horse and leave.
Come on, Ed.
Wilbur.
Why did you call him a meathead?
Roger, I owe you an explanation.
You see, my horse has fallen
in love with Gilbert's horse.
It was love at first sight.
I didn't want to
take him over there,
but the poor thing, he wasn't
eating, he wasn't sleeping.
What could I do? He wants
to marry Princess Helen.
You don't believe me, do you?
No.
What worries me is
that you believe you.
It's the truth.
If you knew somebody
who was just sick with love,
wouldn't you try to help him?
Wilbur, what happens to you
when you get near that horse?
You seem to lose what little
intelligence you ever had.
Take my advice. Sell that plug.
For once, old Addison was right.
I'm wrecking your whole life.
Sell me.
Sell you?
Ed, we're inseparable.
I'm willing to
make the sacrifice.
Sell me to Gilbert.
Oh, so you can be near
Princess Helen, huh?
You said it.
Gilbert wouldn't buy you.
Then give me to him as a gift.
I must go where my heart is.
Oh, boy. Cupid really got
you with that arrow, didn't he?
Arrow? The son of a
gun used a harpoon.
Well, you'll get over it.
Look, I'm not going to sell you,
and I'm not going
to give you away.
If you don't, I'll go
on a hunger strike.
A hunger strike?
Yeah.
Well, I guess I have no choice.
Please, Wilbur, please
call him on the phone.
Okay, Ed. If you
want it that way.
Boy, Ed, I'm sorry.
I just can't do it.
Okay, then I'll dial.
This is a nice gesture, Wilbur,
but you don't have
to give me your horse.
I'm willing to let
bygones be bygones.
But I want you to have Ed.
You see, we don't have
much room around our place,
and, well, I know
how you love horses.
Well, if that's the case, fine.
My phone. I'll be right back.
Well, Ed, this is it.
Yup.
You won't forget to write?
I'll phone you every night.
And we'll probably run into
each other in the park on Sundays.
Sure, boy.
Goodbye, Ed.
This isn't goodbye, old friend.
It's auf Wiedersehen.
Ed.
Don't move.
Let me remember
you just like that.
All right, Phil.
Then it's all settled.
No, it isn't the money. She just
doesn't seem to be happy here.
Well, when does
the ship sail, Phil?
Fine. Well, I'll bring Princess
Helen down to the dock myself.
Oh, she ought to be in
South America by next Friday.
Uh, you're sure you've
got a good groom?
I wouldn't want anything
to happen to her on the trip.
Wilbur, how about your sandwich?
Wilbur, the sandwich.
Hm?
Oh, oh. Sorry, hon.
Oh, honey.
You didn't have
to give Mr. Ed away
just to protect that deal.
Money isn't that
important to me.
Oh, that's life, I guess.
You raise a kid, you feed him,
you worry about him, you take
care of him when he gets sick,
and then first pretty
face that comes along,
he runs off and gets married.
Wilbur, are you all right?
Maybe you need something to eat.
Hm? Oh, that's all right, honey.
I'll grab some hay later.
What's wrong with him?
He looks like he
lost his best friend.
He has.
He never should have
given Ed to Mr. Gilbert.
Ah, but think of all the money
your husband is going to make
as a result of that
wonderful gesture.
Oh, Roger, money
isn't everything.
Woman, bite your
tongue. You're hysterical.
Gee, I miss you, Ed.
I miss you, too.
How could I let you go?
I'll never forgive myself.
It wasn't your fault, buddy boy.
Oh, yes it was.
And stop interrupting.
We were together so...
You really miss me, huh?
Fooled you, didn't I?
Ed, you're home! You're back!
Helen and I are
no longer an item.
Well, what happened?
Gilbert sold her to some
guy in South America.
So I took a powder.
You mean, Mr. Gilbert
doesn't know you're here.
Uh, I guess I lost
you that deal again.
Oh, that doesn't matter, Ed.
I'd rather have you.
That goes for me, too.
- Wilbur.
- Yeah?
We're just a pair of
sentimental old slobs.
Get my nose.
What are you gonna tell
old vinegar-puss Addison?
Oh, who cares about him?
Why, if he dares to
open his mouth, I'll...
Oh, Wilbur.
Oh, that's Roger now.
I better go out
and soften him up.
You tell him, killer.
Wilbur, can we
step into your office?
There's something I'd
like to discuss with you.
Well, why don't we go inside
the house? There's more room.
No, no, no, no. Carol is
a little disturbed with me.
Oh. Well, let's
go to your house.
No, my wife's a little
disturbed with you.
- We better use the office.
- Yeah, but, Roger...
There's something I
want to discuss with you.
Wilbur, in spite of
the way Carol feels,
I think you did a no...
What is that horse doing here?
What horse?
Mr. Ed. How did he get here?
Well, Ed and the
Princess are pfft.
Pfft?
Pfft.
They are no longer an item.
His girlfriend left suddenly
for South America.
Really?
Why am I talking to you
when you're near that horse?
Come outside where
you're a little more normal.
- Now then,
maybe we can talk... huh?
- Wilbur.
- Mr. Gilbert wants to see you.
- I've got some bad news
for you.
Your horse ran away. I
was talking on the phone
when suddenly he bolted
and took off. I have no idea...
- Wilbur.
- Well, he, uh...
- He came back by himself.
- He's still your horse, Fred.
No. No.
I don't like to be an
Indian-giver, Fred,
but I... I'd like my horse back.
If this means I lose
the deal, well, okay.
And I feel the same way.
Don't listen to him, Fred.
When he gets near this barn,
he... he... he's a screwball.
Please, Roger.
Now just relax, Roger.
Any man who cares
enough about his horse
to jeopardize a big
deal is my kind of man.
You mean we're
still in business?
You bet.
It's beautiful the way this
boy feels about that horse.
He's a man's best friend.
Next to his wife.
Why don't we all go in
and have some coffee?
Oh, thank you. You know, your
husband is quite an architect.
I just love that new building...
That 14-story building
he designed downtown.
15.
Well, I guess
that's another story.
Very funny.
How about that coffee?
Coffee, yes. Coffee, Roger.
68-47-68.
Ah, that's a lot
of horse to lose.
Oh, boy.
Ed, what's the matter?
I'm in love.
Oh, no.
Ed, you've just got to
forget about Princess Helen.
Princess Helen? Who's she?
Don't tell me you've fallen
in love again since yesterday.
This magazine just came today.
Flash Away. She's
a pretty horse.
Yeah. She makes Princess
Helen look like a boy.
Let's not start again.
How about arranging
a date for me, huh?
Sorry.
Love is not for horses.
It's for the birds.
♪ Got a date ♪
♪ A little later ♪
♪ When the moon
is on the trail ♪
♪ With the cutest
triple-gaiter ♪
♪ My pretty little filly
with the pony tail ♪
Closed-Captioned By JR
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
This has been a Filmways
television presentation.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
Hi, Ed.
Ready for a walk in the park?
Mm. Oh. Huh.
What's the matter? Little
Orphan Annie in trouble again?
No.
Daddy Warbucks in the hospital?
No.
Little dog got lost, huh?
No.
Then what are you crying about?
I ate some bad hay
and I got a tummy ache.
Cut it out, you faker.
You just don't want
to go out today.
Come on, Ed.
We're going to
go for a little ride.
Well, all right.
Who am I riding?
I never saw a horse like you.
You've got four legs. How
about using them once in a while?
Look who's talking. Drives
around in a car all day.
I'll get it.
No, don't try to make up.
I'll get it.
Hello. Oh, hi, Rog.
Oh, hi, Rog.
Shh.
Wilbur, will you be in
your office for a while?
Good. I'll be right over.
There. What would you do
without Mommy to help you?
I don't know, dear.
- Mommy.
- What?
I hate to be a
perfectionist, my dear,
but shouldn't the right
boot be on the right foot?
Mommy will fix it.
Ed, I don't care
what you say, but...
Ed.
We are going for
a ride in the park.
But my trick knee
is acting up again.
An old football injury.
Football injury?
Yeah. I was watching
a game on TV once,
and the set fell on my foot.
Ed, you're just lazy.
Yeah, the last time
we went to the park,
you stood still so long the
pigeons sat on your back.
Because they love me.
You looked like a statue.
Oh, Wilbur.
Hi, Wilbur.
Hello, Rog.
I'm going riding in the park.
How about joining me?
Well, as a matter of fact,
I was just getting ready to...
Unsaddle Ed.
Got a sore leg.
Oh, then you can
rent one at the stable.
I'm going riding
with Fred Gilbert.
I'd like to have you meet him.
We've got a big real
estate deal cooking,
and I think I can work you in.
Well, that's wonderful.
Fred Gilbert.
Name sounds familiar.
Familiar? He's one of
the richest men around.
He has his own
nine-hole golf course.
A lot of men have that.
Inside the house?
Look, here's his picture
right in the society page.
Fred Gilbert, well-known
real estate tycoon,
with his beautiful black
mare Princess Helen.
Wow, what a horse.
That's the most beautiful
mare I've ever seen.
Now, what is this deal you've
got cooking with Gilbert?
It's a big, and I mean big, real
estate development in Arizona.
The architect's fee
should be considerable.
And you think you
can get me the job?
Well, that depends. Now,
if Gilbert likes you, you're in.
That's why I want you
to go riding with us.
If it's that important,
I can rent a horse.
On the other hand, maybe
I will take Ed with me.
The exercise
might help his knee.
Fine. I'll meet you outside
in about five minutes.
Right.
Come on, Wilbur. Let's go.
What made you change your mind?
Oh, that Princess
Helen is really built.
Oh, you've got an
eye for the ladies, huh?
What a figure.
68-47-68.
Make me look pretty, Wilbur.
Okay, Ed.
I'll put a curl in your tail.
It's an excellent location for the
type of building we have in mind.
Now let me suggest
that when we first...
Gentlemen, there you
are. Three hamburgers.
Just help yourself to ketchup
and the hot mustard over there.
That'll be a dollar and a half.
I've got it.
No, let me.
Boys, I insist.
Oh, I've got it right here.
Good.
- Fred.
- Thank you.
- Roger.
- There you are.
- Thanks. Fine.
- Sit right over there.
Now, as I was saying.
Post, Roger tells me
you're quite an architect.
Oh, I try to do my best.
Don't be modest, my boy.
Fred, this young fellow's designed
some of the finest buildings in this town.
Right, Wilbur?
I don't like to boast.
Well, he did the
Adamses building,
the Kingsley building
and that 14-storey
Woodbury building.
15.
Well, that's another storey.
We've got a lot of
money in this venture.
You strike me as a man
who knows what he's doing.
Why don't you drop
by my house Friday
and we'll discuss some ideas?
We'd better be getting
back to the horses. Come on.
Right, yes, yes.
Beat it, mac.
Hi, Princess. My name's Ed.
Saw your picture in the paper.
Doesn't do you justice.
You're gorgeous.
Where did you get those
big brown eyes, honey?
Oh, sorry.
I forgot, baby.
You don't understand this lingo.
I'll put it to you this way.
Who's a masher?
Let's face it. I'm in love.
Yes, this is Fred Gilbert.
Mm? Yes, what can I do for you?
Mr. Gilbert,
I saw Princess Helen
in the park the other day.
Oh?
She's got the
cutest legs in town.
I beg your pardon?
Would you put the
phone near her?
I want to hear her neigh.
Who is this, some
practical joker?
Believe me, Mr. Gilbert, my
intentions are strictly honorable.
Oh, you want to marry my horse.
Why not?
My father married one.
Are you sure the vet said
there's nothing wrong with Ed?
He couldn't find anything.
Something must be bothering him.
He hasn't eaten since
yesterday morning.
Here, I'll try to tempt
him with these apples.
Here you are, Mr. Ed.
Nice, crisp apples.
Come on, Ed. You
need your vitamins.
You're a growing horse.
Look at his eyes.
He looks dopey.
I'm kind of worried.
Poor Mr. Ed.
He's been just moping around.
He's not eating, not
sleeping, he's losing weight.
You know, honey, you were that
way when you were courting me.
That's not true.
I never turned down
an apple in my life.
Mm. Come on, Ed.
Take a bite. It's delicious.
Well, I hope he's
feeling better soon.
I'll start lunch.
And you better get started on
those sketches for Mr. Gilbert.
Yeah. Okay, honey.
What's the matter, Ed?
Were you ever in love?
Oh, so that's it.
You're in love.
Well, who's the lucky horse?
Princess Helen.
Oh, I'd sure like to
make her my bride.
You're not serious.
Yup. I want a horse
just like the horse
that married dear old Dad.
Wish I could help
you, but what can I do?
Go to Mr. Gilbert and ask for
his horse's hoof in marriage.
Oh, sure, sure.
I can just see myself
saying "Mr. Gilbert,
"my horse is in
love with your horse.
"True, I know he's
not working now,
"but I figure if you and I chip in
a couple bales of hay each week,
"why, we can get those
kids off to a good start."
And then they put me away.
Please take me along
when you go to see Gilbert.
I can't. We're going
to talk business.
But I got to see my girl.
I got to, I just got to.
Okay, okay, okay.
We'll ride over
there after lunch.
Oh, bless you, Wilbur.
Now Ed, will you eat something?
Well, I'll force myself.
Hi, Princess Helen.
I brought you a little gift.
While the men are out talking business,
honey, how about a little smooch?
I drove downtown yesterday
and looked at that 14-story
building you designed.
15, but that's another story.
I told you that joke yesterday.
Yeah, I know. I like it so
much I use it all the time now.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, thanks.
Helen, I love you.
I know you're a thoroughbred and
I'm from the wrong side of the tracks.
Hm. Shoot.
I wish you'd stop eating
when I'm proposing.
I forgot, you don't talk.
Listen, honey.
What do you mean, I'm a tramp?
Look, baby, I'll
teach you to talk.
Repeat after me.
I love you, Eddie.
Come on. It's easy, baby.
I love you.
And the subterranean parking lot
will hold 200 cars.
Aw, come on, baby.
It was just a little kiss.
Oh, what happened, Princess?
What's wrong? Why
aren't you in your stall?
I wish you hadn't brought
your horse over here.
He's evidently upset her.
Meathead.
What did you say?
I didn't say anything.
I suppose your horse
called me meathead.
Well, no, but...
Why don't we go inside the house
and discuss the sketches, Fred?
I don't care to talk
about it now, Post.
Please take your
horse and leave.
Come on, Ed.
Wilbur.
Why did you call him a meathead?
Roger, I owe you an explanation.
You see, my horse has fallen
in love with Gilbert's horse.
It was love at first sight.
I didn't want to
take him over there,
but the poor thing, he wasn't
eating, he wasn't sleeping.
What could I do? He wants
to marry Princess Helen.
You don't believe me, do you?
No.
What worries me is
that you believe you.
It's the truth.
If you knew somebody
who was just sick with love,
wouldn't you try to help him?
Wilbur, what happens to you
when you get near that horse?
You seem to lose what little
intelligence you ever had.
Take my advice. Sell that plug.
For once, old Addison was right.
I'm wrecking your whole life.
Sell me.
Sell you?
Ed, we're inseparable.
I'm willing to
make the sacrifice.
Sell me to Gilbert.
Oh, so you can be near
Princess Helen, huh?
You said it.
Gilbert wouldn't buy you.
Then give me to him as a gift.
I must go where my heart is.
Oh, boy. Cupid really got
you with that arrow, didn't he?
Arrow? The son of a
gun used a harpoon.
Well, you'll get over it.
Look, I'm not going to sell you,
and I'm not going
to give you away.
If you don't, I'll go
on a hunger strike.
A hunger strike?
Yeah.
Well, I guess I have no choice.
Please, Wilbur, please
call him on the phone.
Okay, Ed. If you
want it that way.
Boy, Ed, I'm sorry.
I just can't do it.
Okay, then I'll dial.
This is a nice gesture, Wilbur,
but you don't have
to give me your horse.
I'm willing to let
bygones be bygones.
But I want you to have Ed.
You see, we don't have
much room around our place,
and, well, I know
how you love horses.
Well, if that's the case, fine.
My phone. I'll be right back.
Well, Ed, this is it.
Yup.
You won't forget to write?
I'll phone you every night.
And we'll probably run into
each other in the park on Sundays.
Sure, boy.
Goodbye, Ed.
This isn't goodbye, old friend.
It's auf Wiedersehen.
Ed.
Don't move.
Let me remember
you just like that.
All right, Phil.
Then it's all settled.
No, it isn't the money. She just
doesn't seem to be happy here.
Well, when does
the ship sail, Phil?
Fine. Well, I'll bring Princess
Helen down to the dock myself.
Oh, she ought to be in
South America by next Friday.
Uh, you're sure you've
got a good groom?
I wouldn't want anything
to happen to her on the trip.
Wilbur, how about your sandwich?
Wilbur, the sandwich.
Hm?
Oh, oh. Sorry, hon.
Oh, honey.
You didn't have
to give Mr. Ed away
just to protect that deal.
Money isn't that
important to me.
Oh, that's life, I guess.
You raise a kid, you feed him,
you worry about him, you take
care of him when he gets sick,
and then first pretty
face that comes along,
he runs off and gets married.
Wilbur, are you all right?
Maybe you need something to eat.
Hm? Oh, that's all right, honey.
I'll grab some hay later.
What's wrong with him?
He looks like he
lost his best friend.
He has.
He never should have
given Ed to Mr. Gilbert.
Ah, but think of all the money
your husband is going to make
as a result of that
wonderful gesture.
Oh, Roger, money
isn't everything.
Woman, bite your
tongue. You're hysterical.
Gee, I miss you, Ed.
I miss you, too.
How could I let you go?
I'll never forgive myself.
It wasn't your fault, buddy boy.
Oh, yes it was.
And stop interrupting.
We were together so...
You really miss me, huh?
Fooled you, didn't I?
Ed, you're home! You're back!
Helen and I are
no longer an item.
Well, what happened?
Gilbert sold her to some
guy in South America.
So I took a powder.
You mean, Mr. Gilbert
doesn't know you're here.
Uh, I guess I lost
you that deal again.
Oh, that doesn't matter, Ed.
I'd rather have you.
That goes for me, too.
- Wilbur.
- Yeah?
We're just a pair of
sentimental old slobs.
Get my nose.
What are you gonna tell
old vinegar-puss Addison?
Oh, who cares about him?
Why, if he dares to
open his mouth, I'll...
Oh, Wilbur.
Oh, that's Roger now.
I better go out
and soften him up.
You tell him, killer.
Wilbur, can we
step into your office?
There's something I'd
like to discuss with you.
Well, why don't we go inside
the house? There's more room.
No, no, no, no. Carol is
a little disturbed with me.
Oh. Well, let's
go to your house.
No, my wife's a little
disturbed with you.
- We better use the office.
- Yeah, but, Roger...
There's something I
want to discuss with you.
Wilbur, in spite of
the way Carol feels,
I think you did a no...
What is that horse doing here?
What horse?
Mr. Ed. How did he get here?
Well, Ed and the
Princess are pfft.
Pfft?
Pfft.
They are no longer an item.
His girlfriend left suddenly
for South America.
Really?
Why am I talking to you
when you're near that horse?
Come outside where
you're a little more normal.
- Now then,
maybe we can talk... huh?
- Wilbur.
- Mr. Gilbert wants to see you.
- I've got some bad news
for you.
Your horse ran away. I
was talking on the phone
when suddenly he bolted
and took off. I have no idea...
- Wilbur.
- Well, he, uh...
- He came back by himself.
- He's still your horse, Fred.
No. No.
I don't like to be an
Indian-giver, Fred,
but I... I'd like my horse back.
If this means I lose
the deal, well, okay.
And I feel the same way.
Don't listen to him, Fred.
When he gets near this barn,
he... he... he's a screwball.
Please, Roger.
Now just relax, Roger.
Any man who cares
enough about his horse
to jeopardize a big
deal is my kind of man.
You mean we're
still in business?
You bet.
It's beautiful the way this
boy feels about that horse.
He's a man's best friend.
Next to his wife.
Why don't we all go in
and have some coffee?
Oh, thank you. You know, your
husband is quite an architect.
I just love that new building...
That 14-story building
he designed downtown.
15.
Well, I guess
that's another story.
Very funny.
How about that coffee?
Coffee, yes. Coffee, Roger.
68-47-68.
Ah, that's a lot
of horse to lose.
Oh, boy.
Ed, what's the matter?
I'm in love.
Oh, no.
Ed, you've just got to
forget about Princess Helen.
Princess Helen? Who's she?
Don't tell me you've fallen
in love again since yesterday.
This magazine just came today.
Flash Away. She's
a pretty horse.
Yeah. She makes Princess
Helen look like a boy.
Let's not start again.
How about arranging
a date for me, huh?
Sorry.
Love is not for horses.
It's for the birds.
♪ Got a date ♪
♪ A little later ♪
♪ When the moon
is on the trail ♪
♪ With the cutest
triple-gaiter ♪
♪ My pretty little filly
with the pony tail ♪
Closed-Captioned By JR
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
This has been a Filmways
television presentation.