Mister Ed (1958–1966): Season 1, Episode 24 - The Contest - full transcript
Mister Ed wins $100 in Wilbur's name when he correctly answers a contest question over the telephone. Wilbur now has a chance to win $5000, but he's going to need Ed's help.
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
J'ai le crayon.
I have the pencil.
J'ai le crayon.
J'ai le crayon.
You have the pencil.
Vous avez le crayon.
Vous avez le crayon.
Hey, what's goin' on here?
Oh, hello, chéri.
How are you?
What's with the beret
and the phonograph?
Where'd you get 'em?
I orders zem over ze telephone.
I am thinking
of taking ze trip
around ze world.
The only trip you're
taking is around ze stable.
A horse wanting to travel.
That's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.
But I want to see Spain...
- France... China.
- China?
- Mm-hmm.
- China coming up.
Ah. Get in the rickshaw.
I'll be right with you.
Ohh! Oh, hop in rickshaw, sir.
Uh, 25 yen first mile.
I am very fast. Oh,
come on. Here we go.
Ohh. And here we
have Great Wall of China.
Here, on the left,
a carpet place.
And on the right,
we have the fa...
I think you've flipped
your fortune cookie.
Hi, Roger.
Well.
What's new? You
still married to Kay?
Wilbur. I don't understand
what goes on in here.
Somehow, you're a different man
once you come into this barn.
You talk to yourself.
You act strangely.
Why don't you give up this place
and get yourself an
office on the outside?
I can't. I'm not well.
I'll see the world
if I have to join the Navy.
Hello?
Hello. This is George Hausner
from radio station WPXQ.
What's on your mind, George?
I'm calling for our
Giant Jackpot contest.
Is this Mr., uh... Post?
How much is the prize?
$100.
This is Mr. Post.
What's your question?
Mr. Post, you have just
one minute to answer.
Now, you may feel free to
use any books that you have.
Your friends can help you.
Stop gabbin', George,
and ask the question.
All right, Mr. Post. You
have one minute to answer.
Can you tell us?
What is the capital of Iceland?
That's easy.
Uh, Reykjavik.
Congratulations, Mr. Post.
You have won a hundred dollars,
and you are now eligible
for our Giant Jackpot
$5,000 prize next week.
$5,000!
Ho ho!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Those little Spanish fillies
are practically
sitting on my lap now.
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La da dee day dee ♪
Ohh!
What? What's the matter?
Why didn't you tell
me you won a contest?
Oh, well, I... What contest?
This contest. Oh,
you should've told me.
Um... "Wilbur Post,
17 Valley Road...
"won contest...
eligible for $5,000
final next week!"
Uh, must be some
other Wilbur Post.
Living at the same address?
You've got a point there.
Oh, dear, I'm so proud of you.
Honey, I tell you, it wasn't me.
I'm gonna call the
radio station and...
It was me, buddy boy.
Had you fooled for
a minute, didn't I?
Oh, Wilbur! How did you know
that the capital of
Iceland was Reykjavik?
It is? I mean, it is! Yes.
Any school horse knows...
Any schoolboy knows that.
Well, how's our famous quiz kid?
Congratulations, my boy!
Isn't it wonderful?
Just imagine...
If he answers this
question, we get $5,000!
Two mink coats as the fur flies.
Wilbur, uh... what
do you intend to do
with the 5,000 if you win?
Well, I really hadn't
thought about it.
Well, we've always
wanted to travel.
But we never could afford it.
- Maybe we could
go to Europe.
- Sure.
And if we run out of
money in Copenhagen,
I'll just pick up the phone
and win another 5,000.
Oh, I wish we could go along.
Why not? Money
was meant to be spent.
Oh, I think it's a
wonderful idea.
The four of us should have
a rousing time in Europe.
Sure! We'll spend
the 5,000 we won,
and then, with the 5,000
you're gonna spend,
we will have a rousing time!
You mean...
we're not going as your guests?
Well, on second thought...
let's see America first.
It's... It's more patriotic.
And cheaper.
Yeah.
Oh, honey.
I always said you were smart.
Wait till my family
read about your winning.
My father always thought
you were a dumbbell.
Yeah, well, this'll
prove... He did?
Well! I bet he doesn't know
that Reykjavik is the
capital of Sweden.
Iceland.
Yeah, well, I just wanted to see
if you were on your toes.
Well, if you want me,
dear, I'll be in my office...
resting my brain.
Ho ho!
Oh, Wilbur.
Maybe you should start studying.
Who knows what question
they're gonna ask you next week.
Just let them dial. I'll
be ready at my end.
Ed? Oh, boy.
Ed, how did you do it?
Oh, it was nothing.
Look, start at the very
beginning. Tell me all about it.
Nothing to tell.
The phone rang, I answered,
and please put the
hundred in my account.
Carol is so excited.
You know, if we win that $5,000,
I'm gonna take her to Europe.
Sure. We can't leave her here.
- Let's take her with us.
- What?
And we'll travel first class.
I don't like to mix
with the hoi polloi.
Ed, forget about it. We
can't take a horse along.
Now, hold it, mac.
Who's takin' whom?
I answered the phone last night.
Yeah, but you used my name.
But I used my brain.
Well, we'll try to work
something out, Ed.
Meanwhile, I'd
better start boning up.
Wilbur.
I've been thinking.
When that phone rings next
week, you may get stage fright.
They may ask you a
perfectly simple question,
like, "Who was the 13th
president of the United States?"
You can't answer. The next day,
millions of people are
going to be laughing at you.
Why is your horse
wearing this Tyrolean hat?
Oh. Well, I let him eat a piece
of my Swiss cheese sandwich,
and it went to his head.
You were right. You aren't well.
Ed.
The, um, 13th president.
Abraham Lincoln?
Andrew Jackson.
Zachary Taylor?
Try Mickey Mouse.
Who was it?
Millard Fillmore.
Born January 7, 1800. Died...
All right, don't rub it in.
Ed, I'll feel like a fool if
I miss an easy question.
And you can't help me because
Carol and the Addisons will be with me.
Well, don't worry about that.
Just cancel all your
engagements this week.
What for?
I'm gonna coach you.
Ed, I would really
appreciate it.
Cut the corn. Just
repeat after me...
George Washington,
born February 22nd...
Carol, be sensible.
Is it worth it?
Your husband is driving
himself to exhaustion.
He's been studying
every night this week.
He hasn't slept. He's
been skipping meals.
He's been...
Wilbur... you look tired.
Can I get you some coffee?
Coffee. Brazil.
Area: 3,288,050 square miles.
He's a walking zombie.
Honey, you skipped dinner.
Can I fix you a turkey sandwich?
Turkey. Republic since 1923.
Bordered on the west by Greece,
Bulgaria, and the Aegean Sea.
Look what he's going
through to win this contest.
And you want him to throw
away that prize money.
Money: The international
rate of exchange.
In Greece, the currency
unit is the drachma.
In Guatemala, it's the quetzal.
In Honduras, it's the lempira.
In Iceland, it...
Iceland, it's...
Dried fish.
Oh, Addison, why don't
you leave him alone?
A loan: The act of lending, or a
sum of money lent for interest.
See "Interest."
Honey, maybe you've
studied enough tonight.
Hmm? No. I've got a lot
more reading to do, dear.
If you want me,
I'll be in the barn.
Darling, the barn's over here.
Good morning, Roger.
Good morning, Kay.
9:00 at night, and he
says "Good morning"?
Is this worth a trip to Europe?
Europe: A continent
with adjacent islands.
Uh, get your thinkin'
cap on, amigo.
We're doin' Spain.
Yes, master.
What is the capital?
The cap... The
cap... capital of Spain.
The capital of
Spain... let's see...
Oh, Ed. Ed, it's no
use. I'm worn out.
Shall I give you a massage?
Ed, it won't help.
When that phone rings tomorrow,
I'll... I'll be too tired
to think of the answer.
And with Carol and
Addison in the room with me,
you won't be able to help me.
Oh, yes, I will.
Ed. You mean...
you're gonna talk
in front of everyone?
No. It's gonna be just you
and me in this barn, chum.
Mmm. Here.
How far is the earth
from the moon?
Uh, 250,000 miles.
Right. Uh, what year
was Lincoln assassinated?
1865.
The month?
April.
The day?
The 14th.
Do you want to know
what Abe had for dinner?
Oh, we're a cinch
to win tonight, Ed.
Mmm. Then I'll...
I'll take you on the
continent. All over.
Oh, we'll eat like a king.
In Italy, it'll be hay parmesan.
And France... oats Suzette.
And Germany...
carrots Weiner schnitzel.
Oh, that's what I call eating.
Wilbur, you've been
around that horse so long,
you're starting to eat like one.
Hi, Roger. Pull up a chair.
Thanks.
Uh, have a grape.
No. No, no, no.
Wilbur. I've come
to appeal to you.
If you answer that
question correctly tonight,
you may break up
a happy marriage.
Oh, no. Carol loves me.
I'm talking about
my own marriage.
I'm gonna be frank with you.
I'm not as well
off as Kay thinks.
And if she goes on a
spending spree in Europe,
I'll come home a pauper.
Please. I happen to
know you are loaded.
Why don't you want to take your
wife on a trip through Europe?
Because I'm not only
loaded, I'm stingy.
Wilber? This is Mr. Hausner
from the Giant Jackpot show.
- Oh, don't get up,
Mr. Post.
- Thank you.
Mr. Hausner, this is my
neighbor, Mr. Addison.
Mr. Addison.
How do you do?
If you'll excuse me, I
have an appointment
with the bankruptcy board.
Honey, Mr. Hausner's
here to give you
last-minute instructions.
That's right, Mr. Post.
I want to make
sure, first of all,
that you'll be home at 9:00
when we make that
big telephone call.
Oh, don't you
worry. I'll be here.
Honey, would you wake
me at, oh, about 5 to 9?
I'll be taking a little nap.
Isn't he confident?
Do you know he has barely
looked at a book in two days.
Well, once I read
something, I never forget it.
I have total recall.
Total recall?
He can't remember
what he ate today.
Just one more
reminder, Mr. Post.
You'll have one minute
to answer the question.
Now, then. Feel free to
use any reference books.
Your friends or your
wife can help you.
No, thank you. I don't
need anybody with me.
You certainly have the
most amazing confidence.
I just left your
competitor, Carl Schultz,
at his grocery store,
and you've never seen
a more nervous man.
Well, some people have
it, and some people don't.
He's pretty smart
with my brains.
Well, good luck, Mr. Post.
Thanks, but I won't need it.
Oh. Did, uh...
did I leave my briefcase in
your living room, Mrs. Post?
Briefcase? No.
You didn't have any.
Oh. Uh, I must've
left it somewhere.
Well, remember, you'll
have just 60 seconds
to come up with
the right answer.
60 seconds for a simple
geography question.
Hmm. I wonder what
I'll do with the extra 59.
Here. I'll show you
out, Mr. Hausner.
Thank you.
♪♪
Carl.
Do you think it's all right
to come back here?
Nobody answered the front door.
Maybe there's
somebody back here.
But, Carl, maybe we should
bring Mr. Hausner's briefcase
to his radio station.
He must be looking for it.
But he told us he
will be coming here.
Maybe there's somebody
back in the barn.
Let's look.
Nobody answers.
Oh, uh... What
a beautiful horse.
Carl, if you are lucky
enough to win the contest,
could we buy a little farm
and a nice horse like that?
There you go,
dreaming again, Freda.
People like us
don't have such luck.
I guess you are right.
Look at this beautiful house.
He must be a very
smart man, that architect.
Yes, Freda, he must be.
Carl, if we are lucky
enough, if we win,
maybe we can send for my mother.
I haven't seen her in 33 years.
We'll see, Freda.
We'll see. Come on.
33 years?
That's a long time
not to see your mother.
Oh, those Schultzes
are gonna need some help.
Carol, shouldn't
you be waking him?
They'll be calling
in a few minutes.
Oh, Addison, doll, you do
want Wilbur to win after all.
Well, nobody wants to
live next door to a loser.
Oh, Roger, you'll love Europe.
Of course! They say
travel is very broadening.
When it comes to money,
it can be very flattening.
Wilbur! It's time!
Coming, dear.
Honey, guess what. If you win,
Roger is coming to Europe with us.
Well!
We'll come down the
stairs and say hello to you.
Honey.
Are you sure you don't want
us to go to the barn with you?
We could look for the
answer in the books.
I'm an expert page turner.
I used to date a librarian.
Thank you, thank you.
That won't be necessary.
At a time like this, I should
be alone with my thoughts.
I'm a lucky girl to be married
to such a brilliant man.
Well, um, Addison may
not be smart, sweetie,
but, uh, he's loaded.
Oh, what a time for company.
- Mrs. Post?
- That's right.
I'm Charley Grant from
the Giant Jackpot show.
I'm here to take some
pictures of your husband.
Ed, in a few minutes,
that phone's gonna ring.
You'll give the answer, and
soon you'll be serenading
a Spanish filly under
her stable window.
Pull up a chair, Wilbur.
For you or me?
Wilbur, there comes
a time in your life
when you have
to make sacrifices.
What do you mean?
33 years is a long, long time
not to see your old mother.
What are you talking about?
- Mr. Post?
- Yes?
I'm Charley Grant
from Giant Jackpot.
Oh, yes. Well, would you
mind waiting in the house?
I'm expecting a call
in a few seconds.
Well, that's why I'm here.
I'm gonna take your picture.
Oh. Well, why don't
you take it after I win?
I'll have a bigger
smile on my face.
Well, no. I'd lose my
job if I didn't get a shot
of you on the phone.
You'd better
answer it, Mr. Post.
That's 5,000 bucks.
- Yeah. Oh, yes. Uh...
- Uh... Well.
Uh... hello?
Mr. Post, you have 60 seconds
to answer our Giant
Jackpot question.
For $5,000,
in what ocean are the
Cape Verde Islands?
The... Cape Verde Islands?
The Cape Verde Islands?
Cape... Verde... Islands.
J-Just a minute!
Help! Roger, help!
Kay! Help!
Geography. Where's
the geography book?
Hold on, hold on.
Geography. Come
on, where are you?
Wait, wait. I...
Geography. Excuse me. Geography.
Geography.
Geography,
geography. Where is it?
Oh. Wilbur. What's
the matter, huh?
- What's the matter?
- What's wrong?
- Wilbur! What's happened?
Where are the
Cape Verde Islands?
Oh, no.
Addison, tell him!
Ohh...
Wilbur, the book. Which
book would have it?
The geography book! Help
me find the geography book!
Geography book.
Yeah, just... just a minute!
- Geography book!
- Don't stand there!
Look over there!
Mr. Post, you have
just 20 seconds.
19... 18... Hurry!
It's got to be here somewhere!
- 15... 14...
- Under this! Under...
13... 12...
- Quiet!
- 11...
10... 9... 8... 7...
- The Cape Verde
Islands - 6... are...
in the Pacific Ocean?
No, I'm sorry, Mr. Post.
They're in the North Atlantic.
I was wrong.
They're in the North Atlantic.
Just... Just slightly off.
How far?
$5,000 worth.
Mr. Post.
How about a big smile?
Wouldn't you rather have an
honest picture of a man crying?
Thanks a lot.
Better luck next time.
Oh, Addison.
Don't you fret, my dear.
I'll take you on
a trip real soon.
Where to, Big Daddy? Cucamonga?
Why don't you kids come
over for coffee in a few minutes.
I should be over my
nervous breakdown by then.
Aw, never mind, honey.
We'll take a trip someday.
Yeah, but not to the
Cape Verde Islands.
Why don't you give Kay a
hand. I'll be right in, dear.
All right.
Ed, why did you turn
your back on me?
It wasn't my fault.
I know you were looking forward
to taking this
trip, but I couldn't
get rid of the photographer.
And about that geography book.
What do you suppose
could've happened to it?
There, there.
Ed! Why did you hide it?
I mean... we might've won!
I did it for Carl and Freda.
Carl and Freda? Who are they?
Well, that's a long story.
As I said, there comes
a time in your life
when you have
to make sacrifices.
This old couple...
she hasn't seen her
mother in 33 years.
I just felt terrible about it.
Ed, here's a picture
of the Schultzes
accepting the $5,000.
They're cute.
You're not sore at
me, are you, Wilbur?
Oh, of course not.
That was a nice thing you did,
making it possible
for Mrs. Schultz
to bring her mother over.
Yeah, I always was a softie.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
This has been a Filmways
television presentation.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
J'ai le crayon.
I have the pencil.
J'ai le crayon.
J'ai le crayon.
You have the pencil.
Vous avez le crayon.
Vous avez le crayon.
Hey, what's goin' on here?
Oh, hello, chéri.
How are you?
What's with the beret
and the phonograph?
Where'd you get 'em?
I orders zem over ze telephone.
I am thinking
of taking ze trip
around ze world.
The only trip you're
taking is around ze stable.
A horse wanting to travel.
That's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.
But I want to see Spain...
- France... China.
- China?
- Mm-hmm.
- China coming up.
Ah. Get in the rickshaw.
I'll be right with you.
Ohh! Oh, hop in rickshaw, sir.
Uh, 25 yen first mile.
I am very fast. Oh,
come on. Here we go.
Ohh. And here we
have Great Wall of China.
Here, on the left,
a carpet place.
And on the right,
we have the fa...
I think you've flipped
your fortune cookie.
Hi, Roger.
Well.
What's new? You
still married to Kay?
Wilbur. I don't understand
what goes on in here.
Somehow, you're a different man
once you come into this barn.
You talk to yourself.
You act strangely.
Why don't you give up this place
and get yourself an
office on the outside?
I can't. I'm not well.
I'll see the world
if I have to join the Navy.
Hello?
Hello. This is George Hausner
from radio station WPXQ.
What's on your mind, George?
I'm calling for our
Giant Jackpot contest.
Is this Mr., uh... Post?
How much is the prize?
$100.
This is Mr. Post.
What's your question?
Mr. Post, you have just
one minute to answer.
Now, you may feel free to
use any books that you have.
Your friends can help you.
Stop gabbin', George,
and ask the question.
All right, Mr. Post. You
have one minute to answer.
Can you tell us?
What is the capital of Iceland?
That's easy.
Uh, Reykjavik.
Congratulations, Mr. Post.
You have won a hundred dollars,
and you are now eligible
for our Giant Jackpot
$5,000 prize next week.
$5,000!
Ho ho!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Those little Spanish fillies
are practically
sitting on my lap now.
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La da dee day dee ♪
Ohh!
What? What's the matter?
Why didn't you tell
me you won a contest?
Oh, well, I... What contest?
This contest. Oh,
you should've told me.
Um... "Wilbur Post,
17 Valley Road...
"won contest...
eligible for $5,000
final next week!"
Uh, must be some
other Wilbur Post.
Living at the same address?
You've got a point there.
Oh, dear, I'm so proud of you.
Honey, I tell you, it wasn't me.
I'm gonna call the
radio station and...
It was me, buddy boy.
Had you fooled for
a minute, didn't I?
Oh, Wilbur! How did you know
that the capital of
Iceland was Reykjavik?
It is? I mean, it is! Yes.
Any school horse knows...
Any schoolboy knows that.
Well, how's our famous quiz kid?
Congratulations, my boy!
Isn't it wonderful?
Just imagine...
If he answers this
question, we get $5,000!
Two mink coats as the fur flies.
Wilbur, uh... what
do you intend to do
with the 5,000 if you win?
Well, I really hadn't
thought about it.
Well, we've always
wanted to travel.
But we never could afford it.
- Maybe we could
go to Europe.
- Sure.
And if we run out of
money in Copenhagen,
I'll just pick up the phone
and win another 5,000.
Oh, I wish we could go along.
Why not? Money
was meant to be spent.
Oh, I think it's a
wonderful idea.
The four of us should have
a rousing time in Europe.
Sure! We'll spend
the 5,000 we won,
and then, with the 5,000
you're gonna spend,
we will have a rousing time!
You mean...
we're not going as your guests?
Well, on second thought...
let's see America first.
It's... It's more patriotic.
And cheaper.
Yeah.
Oh, honey.
I always said you were smart.
Wait till my family
read about your winning.
My father always thought
you were a dumbbell.
Yeah, well, this'll
prove... He did?
Well! I bet he doesn't know
that Reykjavik is the
capital of Sweden.
Iceland.
Yeah, well, I just wanted to see
if you were on your toes.
Well, if you want me,
dear, I'll be in my office...
resting my brain.
Ho ho!
Oh, Wilbur.
Maybe you should start studying.
Who knows what question
they're gonna ask you next week.
Just let them dial. I'll
be ready at my end.
Ed? Oh, boy.
Ed, how did you do it?
Oh, it was nothing.
Look, start at the very
beginning. Tell me all about it.
Nothing to tell.
The phone rang, I answered,
and please put the
hundred in my account.
Carol is so excited.
You know, if we win that $5,000,
I'm gonna take her to Europe.
Sure. We can't leave her here.
- Let's take her with us.
- What?
And we'll travel first class.
I don't like to mix
with the hoi polloi.
Ed, forget about it. We
can't take a horse along.
Now, hold it, mac.
Who's takin' whom?
I answered the phone last night.
Yeah, but you used my name.
But I used my brain.
Well, we'll try to work
something out, Ed.
Meanwhile, I'd
better start boning up.
Wilbur.
I've been thinking.
When that phone rings next
week, you may get stage fright.
They may ask you a
perfectly simple question,
like, "Who was the 13th
president of the United States?"
You can't answer. The next day,
millions of people are
going to be laughing at you.
Why is your horse
wearing this Tyrolean hat?
Oh. Well, I let him eat a piece
of my Swiss cheese sandwich,
and it went to his head.
You were right. You aren't well.
Ed.
The, um, 13th president.
Abraham Lincoln?
Andrew Jackson.
Zachary Taylor?
Try Mickey Mouse.
Who was it?
Millard Fillmore.
Born January 7, 1800. Died...
All right, don't rub it in.
Ed, I'll feel like a fool if
I miss an easy question.
And you can't help me because
Carol and the Addisons will be with me.
Well, don't worry about that.
Just cancel all your
engagements this week.
What for?
I'm gonna coach you.
Ed, I would really
appreciate it.
Cut the corn. Just
repeat after me...
George Washington,
born February 22nd...
Carol, be sensible.
Is it worth it?
Your husband is driving
himself to exhaustion.
He's been studying
every night this week.
He hasn't slept. He's
been skipping meals.
He's been...
Wilbur... you look tired.
Can I get you some coffee?
Coffee. Brazil.
Area: 3,288,050 square miles.
He's a walking zombie.
Honey, you skipped dinner.
Can I fix you a turkey sandwich?
Turkey. Republic since 1923.
Bordered on the west by Greece,
Bulgaria, and the Aegean Sea.
Look what he's going
through to win this contest.
And you want him to throw
away that prize money.
Money: The international
rate of exchange.
In Greece, the currency
unit is the drachma.
In Guatemala, it's the quetzal.
In Honduras, it's the lempira.
In Iceland, it...
Iceland, it's...
Dried fish.
Oh, Addison, why don't
you leave him alone?
A loan: The act of lending, or a
sum of money lent for interest.
See "Interest."
Honey, maybe you've
studied enough tonight.
Hmm? No. I've got a lot
more reading to do, dear.
If you want me,
I'll be in the barn.
Darling, the barn's over here.
Good morning, Roger.
Good morning, Kay.
9:00 at night, and he
says "Good morning"?
Is this worth a trip to Europe?
Europe: A continent
with adjacent islands.
Uh, get your thinkin'
cap on, amigo.
We're doin' Spain.
Yes, master.
What is the capital?
The cap... The
cap... capital of Spain.
The capital of
Spain... let's see...
Oh, Ed. Ed, it's no
use. I'm worn out.
Shall I give you a massage?
Ed, it won't help.
When that phone rings tomorrow,
I'll... I'll be too tired
to think of the answer.
And with Carol and
Addison in the room with me,
you won't be able to help me.
Oh, yes, I will.
Ed. You mean...
you're gonna talk
in front of everyone?
No. It's gonna be just you
and me in this barn, chum.
Mmm. Here.
How far is the earth
from the moon?
Uh, 250,000 miles.
Right. Uh, what year
was Lincoln assassinated?
1865.
The month?
April.
The day?
The 14th.
Do you want to know
what Abe had for dinner?
Oh, we're a cinch
to win tonight, Ed.
Mmm. Then I'll...
I'll take you on the
continent. All over.
Oh, we'll eat like a king.
In Italy, it'll be hay parmesan.
And France... oats Suzette.
And Germany...
carrots Weiner schnitzel.
Oh, that's what I call eating.
Wilbur, you've been
around that horse so long,
you're starting to eat like one.
Hi, Roger. Pull up a chair.
Thanks.
Uh, have a grape.
No. No, no, no.
Wilbur. I've come
to appeal to you.
If you answer that
question correctly tonight,
you may break up
a happy marriage.
Oh, no. Carol loves me.
I'm talking about
my own marriage.
I'm gonna be frank with you.
I'm not as well
off as Kay thinks.
And if she goes on a
spending spree in Europe,
I'll come home a pauper.
Please. I happen to
know you are loaded.
Why don't you want to take your
wife on a trip through Europe?
Because I'm not only
loaded, I'm stingy.
Wilber? This is Mr. Hausner
from the Giant Jackpot show.
- Oh, don't get up,
Mr. Post.
- Thank you.
Mr. Hausner, this is my
neighbor, Mr. Addison.
Mr. Addison.
How do you do?
If you'll excuse me, I
have an appointment
with the bankruptcy board.
Honey, Mr. Hausner's
here to give you
last-minute instructions.
That's right, Mr. Post.
I want to make
sure, first of all,
that you'll be home at 9:00
when we make that
big telephone call.
Oh, don't you
worry. I'll be here.
Honey, would you wake
me at, oh, about 5 to 9?
I'll be taking a little nap.
Isn't he confident?
Do you know he has barely
looked at a book in two days.
Well, once I read
something, I never forget it.
I have total recall.
Total recall?
He can't remember
what he ate today.
Just one more
reminder, Mr. Post.
You'll have one minute
to answer the question.
Now, then. Feel free to
use any reference books.
Your friends or your
wife can help you.
No, thank you. I don't
need anybody with me.
You certainly have the
most amazing confidence.
I just left your
competitor, Carl Schultz,
at his grocery store,
and you've never seen
a more nervous man.
Well, some people have
it, and some people don't.
He's pretty smart
with my brains.
Well, good luck, Mr. Post.
Thanks, but I won't need it.
Oh. Did, uh...
did I leave my briefcase in
your living room, Mrs. Post?
Briefcase? No.
You didn't have any.
Oh. Uh, I must've
left it somewhere.
Well, remember, you'll
have just 60 seconds
to come up with
the right answer.
60 seconds for a simple
geography question.
Hmm. I wonder what
I'll do with the extra 59.
Here. I'll show you
out, Mr. Hausner.
Thank you.
♪♪
Carl.
Do you think it's all right
to come back here?
Nobody answered the front door.
Maybe there's
somebody back here.
But, Carl, maybe we should
bring Mr. Hausner's briefcase
to his radio station.
He must be looking for it.
But he told us he
will be coming here.
Maybe there's somebody
back in the barn.
Let's look.
Nobody answers.
Oh, uh... What
a beautiful horse.
Carl, if you are lucky
enough to win the contest,
could we buy a little farm
and a nice horse like that?
There you go,
dreaming again, Freda.
People like us
don't have such luck.
I guess you are right.
Look at this beautiful house.
He must be a very
smart man, that architect.
Yes, Freda, he must be.
Carl, if we are lucky
enough, if we win,
maybe we can send for my mother.
I haven't seen her in 33 years.
We'll see, Freda.
We'll see. Come on.
33 years?
That's a long time
not to see your mother.
Oh, those Schultzes
are gonna need some help.
Carol, shouldn't
you be waking him?
They'll be calling
in a few minutes.
Oh, Addison, doll, you do
want Wilbur to win after all.
Well, nobody wants to
live next door to a loser.
Oh, Roger, you'll love Europe.
Of course! They say
travel is very broadening.
When it comes to money,
it can be very flattening.
Wilbur! It's time!
Coming, dear.
Honey, guess what. If you win,
Roger is coming to Europe with us.
Well!
We'll come down the
stairs and say hello to you.
Honey.
Are you sure you don't want
us to go to the barn with you?
We could look for the
answer in the books.
I'm an expert page turner.
I used to date a librarian.
Thank you, thank you.
That won't be necessary.
At a time like this, I should
be alone with my thoughts.
I'm a lucky girl to be married
to such a brilliant man.
Well, um, Addison may
not be smart, sweetie,
but, uh, he's loaded.
Oh, what a time for company.
- Mrs. Post?
- That's right.
I'm Charley Grant from
the Giant Jackpot show.
I'm here to take some
pictures of your husband.
Ed, in a few minutes,
that phone's gonna ring.
You'll give the answer, and
soon you'll be serenading
a Spanish filly under
her stable window.
Pull up a chair, Wilbur.
For you or me?
Wilbur, there comes
a time in your life
when you have
to make sacrifices.
What do you mean?
33 years is a long, long time
not to see your old mother.
What are you talking about?
- Mr. Post?
- Yes?
I'm Charley Grant
from Giant Jackpot.
Oh, yes. Well, would you
mind waiting in the house?
I'm expecting a call
in a few seconds.
Well, that's why I'm here.
I'm gonna take your picture.
Oh. Well, why don't
you take it after I win?
I'll have a bigger
smile on my face.
Well, no. I'd lose my
job if I didn't get a shot
of you on the phone.
You'd better
answer it, Mr. Post.
That's 5,000 bucks.
- Yeah. Oh, yes. Uh...
- Uh... Well.
Uh... hello?
Mr. Post, you have 60 seconds
to answer our Giant
Jackpot question.
For $5,000,
in what ocean are the
Cape Verde Islands?
The... Cape Verde Islands?
The Cape Verde Islands?
Cape... Verde... Islands.
J-Just a minute!
Help! Roger, help!
Kay! Help!
Geography. Where's
the geography book?
Hold on, hold on.
Geography. Come
on, where are you?
Wait, wait. I...
Geography. Excuse me. Geography.
Geography.
Geography,
geography. Where is it?
Oh. Wilbur. What's
the matter, huh?
- What's the matter?
- What's wrong?
- Wilbur! What's happened?
Where are the
Cape Verde Islands?
Oh, no.
Addison, tell him!
Ohh...
Wilbur, the book. Which
book would have it?
The geography book! Help
me find the geography book!
Geography book.
Yeah, just... just a minute!
- Geography book!
- Don't stand there!
Look over there!
Mr. Post, you have
just 20 seconds.
19... 18... Hurry!
It's got to be here somewhere!
- 15... 14...
- Under this! Under...
13... 12...
- Quiet!
- 11...
10... 9... 8... 7...
- The Cape Verde
Islands - 6... are...
in the Pacific Ocean?
No, I'm sorry, Mr. Post.
They're in the North Atlantic.
I was wrong.
They're in the North Atlantic.
Just... Just slightly off.
How far?
$5,000 worth.
Mr. Post.
How about a big smile?
Wouldn't you rather have an
honest picture of a man crying?
Thanks a lot.
Better luck next time.
Oh, Addison.
Don't you fret, my dear.
I'll take you on
a trip real soon.
Where to, Big Daddy? Cucamonga?
Why don't you kids come
over for coffee in a few minutes.
I should be over my
nervous breakdown by then.
Aw, never mind, honey.
We'll take a trip someday.
Yeah, but not to the
Cape Verde Islands.
Why don't you give Kay a
hand. I'll be right in, dear.
All right.
Ed, why did you turn
your back on me?
It wasn't my fault.
I know you were looking forward
to taking this
trip, but I couldn't
get rid of the photographer.
And about that geography book.
What do you suppose
could've happened to it?
There, there.
Ed! Why did you hide it?
I mean... we might've won!
I did it for Carl and Freda.
Carl and Freda? Who are they?
Well, that's a long story.
As I said, there comes
a time in your life
when you have
to make sacrifices.
This old couple...
she hasn't seen her
mother in 33 years.
I just felt terrible about it.
Ed, here's a picture
of the Schultzes
accepting the $5,000.
They're cute.
You're not sore at
me, are you, Wilbur?
Oh, of course not.
That was a nice thing you did,
making it possible
for Mrs. Schultz
to bring her mother over.
Yeah, I always was a softie.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the
answer that you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
This has been a Filmways
television presentation.