Mission: Impossible (1966–1973): Season 4, Episode 5 - Fool's Gold - full transcript
To thwart a counterfeiter who has printed enough currency to claim a pro-western democracy's entire gold reserve and thus topple the government, Paris must penetrate a lethal security system to substitute defective printing plates. Meanwhile Barney and Willy must subtly destroy a vault filled with currency and substitute easily detectable counterfeits made with the substituted plates to catch the counterfeiter red-handed.
[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]
[ ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING ]
Man: GOOD MORNING, MR. PHELPS.
ONE OF THESE 100-DRONA NOTES
IS THE LEGITIMATE CURRENCY
OF THE KINGDOM OF BAHKAN.
THE OTHER
IS A PERFECT COUNTERFEIT.
100 MILLION
OF THIS COUNTERFEIT DRONA
HAVE BEEN PRINTED
BY IGOR STRAVOS,
FINANCE MINISTER OF THE
FEDERATED PEOPLES' REPUBLIC.
STRAVOS HAS DEMANDED
THAT BAHKAN
REDEEM ITS CURRENCY IN GOLD.
IF BAHKAN CANNOT PROVE
THE NOTES ARE COUNTERFEIT,
IT MUST MEET THE DEMAND.
STRAVOS KNOWS THIS WILL
EXHAUST BAHKAN'S GOLD RESERVE
AND PRECIPITATE THE OVERTHROW
OF BAHKAN'S
PRO-WESTERN GOVERNMENT.
YOUR MISSION, JIM,
SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO ACCEPT IT,
IS TO DESTROY
THE COUNTERFEIT DRONA,
GET THE PLATES,
AND MAKE CERTAIN THAT STRAVOS
NEVER AGAIN PRESENTS A THREAT.
AS ALWAYS, SHOULD YOU
OR ANY OF YOUR I.M. FORCE
BE CAUGHT OR KILLED,
THE SECRETARY WILL DISAVOW
ANY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR ACTIONS.
THIS TAPE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT
IN FIVE SECONDS.
GOOD LUCK, JIM.
ALL I HEARD WAS A LOW HUM.
IT'LL PROTECT YOU
FROM THE ULTRASONIC SOUND,
BUT ONLY FOR 10 MINUTES,
12 MINUTES AT THE OUTSIDE.
AFTER THAT,
THE POWER PACK BURNS UP.
WHAT HAPPENS THEN?
ULTRASONIC WAVES OPERATING
AT A MILLION CYCLES A SECOND
CAN COOK AN EGG.
THE SOUND FREQUENCY
IN THAT CORRIDOR
IS THRE MILLION CYCLES.
YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO HEAR IT,
BUT IN TWO MINUTES, IT CAN
TURN YOU INTO A VEGETABLE.
I WILL TRY
TO REMEMBER THAT.
UNFORTUNATELY,
ONLY STRAVOS' VOICEPRINT
CAN TURN OFF THE CURRENT
IN THE CORRIDOR.
WE CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT
THEIR KNOWING ABOUT IT.
WILLY?
THIS WILL FIT RIGHT OVER
THEIR TIME LOCK.
WHEN THEY SET THIS TO OPEN
AT 8:00 IN THE MORNING,
THIS WILL RECALIBRATE
THE TIME
SO IT WILL OPEN THE VAULT
DOOR AT 12:00 MIDNIGHT.
GOOD. NOW,
THE BAHKAN GOVERNMENT
HAS AGREED
TO COOPERATE WITH US.
THEY'VE ALREADY
ALLOWED STRAVOS ACCESS
TO A DUPLICATE
OF THIS FILE.
AND THEY'VE GIVEN US...
A LEGITIMATE DRONA.
AT LEAST ONE SIDE OF IT.
AND THESE.
LEGITIMATE PLATES?
YES, WITH, UH,
ONE MINOR ALTERATION.
BARNEY?
GOOD.
THAT'S FINE, BARNEY.
BUT JIM, PAPER MONEY
PACKED THAT SOLID
WON'T BURN
ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
THAT'S RIGHT, BETH.
BUT STRAVOS HAS MADE
PERFECT COUNTERFEIT DRONA.
THEY'RE UNDETECTABLE.
SO YOU CAN BE SURE THAT
HE'S TAKING EVERY PRECAUTION
TO SEE THAT
THEY'RE PROTECTED.
WELL, WE'RE GOING TO USE
HIS PRECAUTIONS TO DESTROY HIM.
[ BUZZES ]
YES?
WOMAN: Baron Rakozny,
special envoy from the
Kingdom of Bahkan, minister.
SHOW HIM IN.
BARON RAKOZNY.
MINISTER STRAVOS.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
THANK YOU.
I WOULD PREFER TO STAND.
OH. A COGNAC?
NO, THANK YOU.
I WOULD LIKE A GLASS.
I WOULD LIKE TO
COME TO THE POINT.
WE DO NOT HAVE TIME
FOR AMENITIES.
PROCEED, PROCEED, BARON.
YOU HAVE BEEN INFORMED
MY COUNTRY'S GOVERNMENT HAS
DECIDED TO REDEEM, IN GOLD,
THE 100 MILLION DRONA
HELD BY THE FEDERATED
PEOPLES' REPUBLIC?
OH, YES.
I THEREFORE PROPOSE
THIS MEETING TAKE PLACE
TOMORROW AFTERNOON,
HERE IN YOUR OFFICE, 2:00,
AND THAT THE WORLD
MONETARY COMMISSION
WITNESS THE EXCHANGE.
THAT IS SATISFACTORY.
VERY WELL.
THIS IS YURI ZAGAR.
IF YOU HAVE NO OBJECTION,
I WOULD LIKE HIM TO INSPECT
THE DRONA YOUR COUNTRY HOLDS.
BUT WHY?
WE HAVE HEARD RUMORS
OUR CURRENCY HAS BEEN
COUNTERFEITED IN QUANTITY.
YOUR GOVERNMENT MAY HAVE
RECEIVED SOME OF THIS --
UNWITTINGLY, OF COURSE.
NATURALLY, WE WOULD
LIKE TO ISOLATE IT.
IS MR. ZAGAR QUALIFIED
TO DISCOVER
COUNTERFEIT DRONA?
EMINENTLY QUALIFIED,
MINISTER.
WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE THIS
INSPECTION TO TAKE PLACE?
IF YOU SO PLEASE,
IMMEDIATELY.
VERY WELL. FOLLOW ME.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE ]
WHAT IS THE TROUBLE?
THESE BULBS ARE DUE
TO BE REPLACED.
OH.
I HAVE A MEETING
AT THE EMBASSY.
IF YOU HAVE NO OBJECTION,
MR. ZAGAR WILL STAY HERE
AND CONTINUE THE INSPECTION?
OF COURSE.
GIVE MR. ZAGAR
ANY ASSISTANCE HE MAY REQUIRE.
BRUNO!
ELIZABETH.
UM, MINISTER STRAVOS,
MY WIFE, THE BARONESS
ELIZABETH RAKOZNY.
BARONESS.
MINISTER.
I AM VERY BUSY, ELIZABETH.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU PROMISED ME THIS MORNING
YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO LUNCH --
REMEMBER?
POSSIBLY, BUT I'M AFRAID
IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION NOW.
OH, BUT THIS IS
OUR LAST DAY HERE,
AND I WANTED TO SEE
THE CAFE ONTEEM.
THE CAFE ONTEEM?!
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
DON'T YOU KNOW
ITS REPUTATION?
YES. IT'S ONE OF
THE MOST FAMOUS CAFES IN EUROPE.
INFAMOUS, YOU MEAN.
IT'S A RENDEZVOUS FOR LOVERS,
FOR MEN AND THEIR MISTRESSES.
BRUNO, WE ARE MARRIED.
I WANT TO GO.
NO, I FORBID IT.
YOU DID NOT FORBID
MR. ZAGAR.
MR. ZAGAR DOES
AS HE PLEASES
SINCE HE DOES NOT HAVE
A REPUTATION TO PROTECT.
NOW, I MUST MEET
THE AMBASSADOR IN 20 MINUTES.
BUT BRUNO, I --
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
MINISTER.
WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE, UH,
FOR ME TO ARRANGE
FOR A GOVERNMENT CAR
TO TAKE YOU --
I'M TIRED OF LOOKING
AT YOUR COUNTRY
THROUGH A HOTEL WINDOW!
OH.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S...IT'S JUST THAT
BRUNO IS SO IMPOSSIBLE.
WELL, HE IS
RATHER STRANGE.
QUITE...VICTORIAN.
VICTORIAN?
AUTOCRATIC, YOU MEAN.
HE BELIEVES
HE RULES EVERYTHING.
EVERYBODY BUT MR. ZAGAR.
MR. ZAGAR IS DIFFERENT.
HE IS...
WHAT?
HOW? HOW?
HOW IS HE DIFFERENT?
ARE YOU AS CURIOUS
ABOUT HIM
AS I AM
ABOUT THE CAFE ONTEEM?
YOUR HUSBAND FORBIDS YOU
TO GO THERE.
I KNOW A LOT
ABOUT MR. ZAGAR.
I WOULD BE WILLING
TO DISCUSS HIM OVER LUNCH.
I'M AFRAID YOUR HUSBAND
WOULD BE VERY ANGRY IF --
MR. ZAGAR IS A CRIMINAL.
WHAT KIND OF CRIMINAL?
LUNCH? SAY, UH, 1:00?
I'M AFRAID THAT
I AM NOT BRAVE ENOUGH
TO RISK
YOUR HUSBAND'S ANGER.
PLEASE,
WHAT KIND OF CRIMINAL?
HE IS A COUNTERFEITER.
AND...MORE.
1:00?
1:00 IT IS.
OH, I'M SORRY.
TURN ON THE LIGHTS,
PLEASE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
[ RINGING CONTINUES ]
PREMIER ROSHKOFF,
I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN.
But I can assure you
that the Kingdom of Bahkan
can prove nothing.
I TRUST NOT.
IT WOULD BE VERY EMBARRASSING
IF THEY DID...
an embarrassment that would have
severe repercussions.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, STRAVOS?
PERFECTLY, PREMIER.
[ Receiver clicks ]
[ BUZZER ]
YES?
WOMAN:
Mr. Zagar to see you.
SHOW HIM IN.
HAVE YOU COMPLETED
THE INSPECTION ALREADY,
MR. ZAGAR?
YES.
AT LEAST,
TO MY SATISFACTION.
YOURS?
WHAT ABOUT
BARON RAKOZNY'S?
WE'LL SEE.
[ LAUGHS ]
IT AMAZES ME THAT BARON
RAKOZNY WOULD ENLIST THE AID
OF A MAN LIKE YOU
TO ADVISE HIM.
A MAN LIKE ME?
YES, COUNTERFEITER.
[ LAUGHING ]
CAN YOU THINK OF ANYONE
WHO WOULD BE BETTER QUALIFIED
TO DETECT...
COUNTERFEIT MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BUT THEY ARE GOOD.
IN FACT, EXCELLENT.
THEY ARE NOT COUNTERFEIT.
THEY ARE.
BUT THEY WILL PASS
THE INSPECTION
OF THE WORLD
MONETARY COMMISSION.
HOWEVER,
THEY WILL NOT BRING ABOUT
A MONETARY CRISIS
IN BAHKAN.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE
YOU HAVE BEEN MISLED
ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF GOLD
THE BAHKAN GOVERNMENT
HAS IN RESERVE.
IT HAS 200 MILLION,
NOT 100.
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU.
WHY SHOULD I LIE?
HOWEVER, NOW THAT
YOU ARE FOREWARNED,
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRINT
ANOTHER 100 MILLION DRONA.
HA! IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE.
THE BARON
HAS THE AUTHORITY
TO WITHDRAW THE ENTIRE
200 MILLION IN GOLD
FROM THE BAHKAN TREASURY,
IF NECESSARY.
WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO HELPFUL, MR. ZAGAR?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
MY, UH...
MY NEEDS ARE VERY SIMPLE.
I LIVE A MODEST LIFE.
SAY, UH...
THREE MILLION DRONA...
IN GOLD.
OF COURSE,
IN ORDER TO PAY ME,
YOU WOULD HAVE TO
INDUCE THE BARON
TO EXCHANGE THE REST
OF BAHKAN'S GOLD RESERVE
FOR ANOTHER
100 MILLION DRONA
WITHOUT YOUR GOVERNMENT
KNOWING ABOUT IT.
A SECRET EXCHANGE?
EXACTLY.
ONE WHICH WOULD TAKE PLACE
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE BORDER,
AFTER
THE OFFICIAL EXCHANGE.
THE IDEA IS PREPOSTEROUS.
IT WOULD NEVER WORK.
BESIDES, I KNOW NO WAYS
TO BLACKMAIL BARON RAKOZNY.
DO YOU?
NO.
BUT I'M SURE THAT THE
FEDERATED PEOPLES' REPUBLIC
HAS A COMPLETE DOSSIER ON
EVERY HIGH-RANKING OFFICIAL
IN THE BAHKAN GOVERNMENT.
AND...SOMEWHERE
IN THE BARON'S FILE,
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
YOU COULD USE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
Woman: Yes, minister?
BRING ME
BARON RAKOZNY'S FILE.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
I CAN SEE NOW WHY
THIS CAFE IS A LEGEND.
I WONDER HOW MANY OF
THESE PEOPLE ARE MARRIED.
MOST OF THEM ARE,
BUT NOT TO EACH OTHER.
MR. ZAGAR IS APPARENTLY
QUITE THE LADIES' MAN.
HE IS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
OH, I THINK
HE'S TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
REALLY?
UH...WELL,
WHAT I MEAN...
WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY
WOMEN FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE.
EVEN THOUGH
HE'S A CRIMINAL?
BUT YOU DO NOT THINK OF
COUNTERFEITERS AS CRIMINALS.
THEY...THEY SEEM
MORE LIKE ARTISTS.
THERE'S SOMETHING
SO ROMANTIC
ABOUT THE WAY THEY --
[ GASPS ]
Please get me out of here.
He mustn't see me.
This way.
EVERY WORKER IS ENTITLED
TO A LUNCH BREAK, BARON.
YES, I SEE.
ELIZABETH!
ELIZABETH --
HOW COULD YOU,
AFTER I HAVE EXPRESSLY
FORBIDDEN YOU TO COME HERE?
BARON, I CAN EXPLAIN.
IT'S MY FAULT. YOU SEE --
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I ASKED MINISTER STRAVOS
TO BRING ME HERE.
YES, I CAN BELIEVE THAT.
BARON --
I KNOW MY WIFE BETTER
THAN SHE THINKS I DO.
BRUNO --
DON'T MAKE A SCENE,
ELIZABETH.
YOU'RE DESPICABLE,
BRUNO!
WE WILL DISCUSS THAT
AND YOUR BEHAVIOR
BACK AT THE HOTEL.
YOU ARE MAKING
A SPECTACLE, ELIZABETH.
DO NOT FORGET
YOU ARE A RAKOZNY.
HOW I WISH
I COULD FORGET!
WELL!
THIS IS A SURPRISE.
WAIT IN THE CAR,
PLEASE.
I WOULD SUGGEST
YOU ALSO LEAVE, MR. ZAGAR,
AND FINISH
YOUR INSPECTION.
OF COURSE, BARON.
AFTER I HAVE SAID GOODBYE
TO MY FRIENDS.
MR. ZAGAR, I WOULD LIKE
TO TALK WITH YOU
IN MY OFFICE ABOUT WHAT
WE DISCUSSED THIS MORNING.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
I HAVE NEVER READ
SUCH A DREARY
COMPENDIUM RECORD IN MY LIFE.
THIS MAN IS SO VIRTUOUS,
HE IS ABSOLUTELY INHUMAN.
WELL, IF YOU FOUND NOTHING
IN THE BARON'S DOSSIER,
WHAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE
YOU CAN STILL BLACKMAIL HIM?
AH! THROUGH HIS WIFE,
THE BARONESS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OH, YES, YOU DO.
YOU'RE A VERY PERCEPTIVE MAN.
YOU HAVE SEEN THE WAY THE
BARONESS LOOKS AT YOU, HMM?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS INVITE HER
FOR A LATE SUPPER AT
THE CAFE ONTEEM THIS EVENING,
IN ONE OF THEIR
PRIVATE DINING ROOMS, HUH?
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
THAT IS
ALL I HAVE TO DO, EH?
I WILL RECORD THE ENTIRE
RENDEZVOUS ON FILM.
[ Laughing ] WHICH YOU
WILL THEN SHOW TO THE BARON.
[ Sternly ]
WHO WILL THEN KILL ME.
HE'S A VERY PROUD MAN.
EXACTLY!
THE BARON IS SO PROUD
OF THE NAME RAKOZNY
THAT HE WILL DO EVERYTHING
TO PROTECT IT
FROM PUBLIC SCANDAL
AND SHAME.
AND THERE WILL ALSO BE
SOME EXTRA GOLD FOR YOU --
PERHAPS AN ADDITIONAL
QUARTER MILLION?
I THOUGHT MORE LIKE, UH...
A HALF.
A HALF A MILLION?
OH, THAT IS GETTING STIFF.
NO, NO, NO. I MEAN HALF
OF THE 100 MILLION.
A FULL PARTNERSHIP.
OH. [ SCOFFS ]
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
I AM VERY SERIOUS WHEN
IT COMES TO RISKING MY LIFE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I WOULD DO WITHOUT IT.
HMM.
[ LAUGHING ]
WELL, IGOR.
SHALL I CALL
THE BARONESS...
OR THE BARON?
FOREIGN CURRENCY EXCHANGE.
BOX 914.
YOU HAVE A MATCH?
YES, I THINK SO.
JUST KEEP THEM.
THANK YOU.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
LET ME POUR YOU
ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
I REALLY DON'T THINK
I SHOULD.
IF BRUNO EVER FOUND OUT
THAT I WAS --
PLEASE.
I WANT TO HEAR NO MORE TALK
ABOUT THE BARON.
BUT --
PLEASE.
TO US.
BUT WE HARDLY KNOW EACH OTHER.
THAT IS A MISTAKE...
WHICH CAN EASILY BE CORRECTED.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS PROPER?
WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,
WHAT COULD BE MORE PROPER?
WE REALLY SHOULDN'T.
YOUR VOICE
TELLS ME "NO"...
BUT YOUR EYES SAY "YES."
I WONDER
WHICH I SHOULD BELIEVE.
OH, YURI.
YURI.
[ PANTING ]
YOU KNOW MY TERMS, BARON.
EITHER YOU RELEASE THE EXTRA
100 MILLION IN GOLD,
OR THE FILM THAT YOU JUST SAW
WILL BECOME...PUBLIC PROPERTY.
DECENCY. MY...
HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?
NO.
ONLY A PROBLEM --
ONE WHICH YOU CAN SOLVE.
WELL, BARON?
THE HOUSE OF RAKOZNY...
DATES FROM THE 14th CENTURY
WITHOUT A BREATH OF SCANDAL.
NOW, TO PROTECT IT,
YOU WOULD ASK ME
TO BECOME A THIEF
AND A TRAITOR
TO MY COUNTRY.
WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE
LITTLE COMPROMISES.
I NEED TIME TO THINK.
NO. I WANT
YOUR ANSWER NOW.
WELL?
WHEN AND WHERE...
DO YOU PROPOSE
THIS SECRET EXCHANGE
TO TAKE PLACE?
AT THE BORDER CROSSING
WEST OF ZENOGRAD,
5:00 TOMORROW AFTERNOON.
THE GOLD WILL BE THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
CONGRATULATIONS, IGOR.
I AM GOING TO ARRANGE
WITH THE GOVERNMENT
PRINTING OFFICE
TO SEND OVER
TWO OF THEIR BEST MEN
TO START PRINTING UP
THE EXTRA DRONA.
THEY MIGHT TALK.
NO, NO.
I WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM
THE SAME WAY
THAT I TOOK CARE
OF THE FIRST TWO.
THAT COULD LOOK SUSPICIOUS.
TWO MORE GOVERNMENT
PRINTERS MISSING
SO SOON AFTER THE FIRST TWO
DISAPPEAR.
IF THE PREMIER HEARD OF IT,
HE MIGHT BEGIN TO SUSPECT.
THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE.
YES, THERE IS.
TWO FORMER...
COLLEAGUES OF MINE --
EXCELLENT MEN --
THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE
VISITING
IN THE FEDERATED PEOPLES'
REPUBLIC AT THE MOMENT.
I SEE.
YOU HAD THIS WHOLE THING
PLANNED
BEFORE YOU LEFT BAHKAN,
DIDN'T YOU?
[ Laughing ] NO, NO, NO.
WHAT TIME SHALL I HAVE
MY MEN HERE IN THE MORNING?
8:00 TOMORROW MORNING,
READY TO WORK
AS SOON AS I GET THE PLATES
FROM THE VAULT.
[ LAUGHS ]
[ BUZZER ]
[ CLICK ]
[ SOUND WAVE REVERBERATES ]
[ SOUND WAVE REVERBERATES ]
[ SOUND WAVE REVERBERATES ]
[ DISTORTED RUMBLING ]
[ HIGHER-PITCHED WAVE
REVERBERATES ]
[ WAVES INCREASE
IN FREQUENCY AND PITCH ]
[ HIGH-PITCHED WAVE SOUNDS ]
[ HIGH-PITCHED WAVE CONTINUES ]
[ SILENCE ]
WHAT IS THAT?
INK AND CLEANING SOLVENT.
[ BUZZER ]
HELLO, THIS IS THE MINISTER.
TURN OFF THE SOUND, PLEASE.
OH. GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, MINISTER.
YOUR MEN ARE HERE?
THEY ARE READY
AND WAITING.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
HOW MUCH
HAVE YOU TOLD THEM?
EVERYTHING.
THEY ARE FRIENDS --
COMPLETELY RELIABLE.
AND, UH, WHAT ABOUT
THE GUARD OUTSIDE?
RELIABLE ALSO.
PLEASE.
THIS PRINTING HAS TO BE DONE
BY 2:00 THIS AFTERNOON
FOR SHIPMENT TO ZENOGRAD.
YOU HAVE
EVERYTHING YOU NEED?
YES, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
THEN GET TO WORK.
ARE YOU STAYING,
MINISTER?
HUH-HUH! THESE PLATES
NEVER GO OUT OF MY SIGHT,
EXCEPT WHEN THEY ARE
IN THE VAULT.
[ MOTOR GRINDS ]
PERFECT!
PLEASE BE SEATED,
GENTLEMEN.
I WILL TELL THE MINISTER
YOU ARE HERE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
YES?
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
RAKOZNY
AND SIR MALCOLM FORRESTER
OF THE WORLD MONETARY
COMMISSION HAVE ARRIVED.
GUARD.
PUT THIS
IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR
AND BRING OUT THE CURRENCY
THAT'S ALREADY THERE.
MINISTER, WHY WASTE TIME
MOVING THIS INTO THE OTHER ROOM,
SHIFTING AROUND LIKE THIS.
WHY NOT USE
THIS CURRENCY UPSTAIRS
AND SEND THE OTHER
TO ZENOGRAD?
AFTER ALL,
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
TAKE THIS CURRENCY
UP TO MY OFFICE
AND LOAD THE OTHER CURRENCY
ONTO THE TRUCK TO ZENOGRAD.
GIVE ME THE PLATES.
TAKE THESE
TO THE MINISTER'S OFFICE.
[ COUGHS ]
GET ME THE VAULT OFFICE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
MINISTER,
A CALL FOR YOU.
YES?
WHAT?!
AH, PREMIER. HOW NICE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
SIR MALCOLM.
THIS IS
THE BARON RAKOZNY.
BARON.
PREMIER ROSHKOFF.
HAS THE OTHER CURRENCY
BEEN SENT TO MY OFFICE?
YES, MINISTER,
A FEW MINUTES AGO.
PREMIER ROSHKOFF.
IGOR.
I WAS NOT INFORMED THAT
YOU WOULD ATTEND, PREMIER.
NO, I CHANGED MY PLANS
AT THE LAST MOMENT.
SIR MALCOLM,
SHALL WE PROCEED?
BUT-BUT THE BARON'S MAN,
YURI ZAGAR,
HAS ALREADY INSPECTED
THE MONEY.
MUST WE HAVE
ANOTHER EXAMINATION?
I'M SORRY, BUT THE RULES OF
THE WORLD MONETARY COMMISSION
REQUIRE THAT I AT LEAST
MAKE A CURSORY INSPECTION.
IT'S MERE FORMALITY.
I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND.
HMM. THAT'S ODD.
WHAT IS, SIR MALCOLM?
I NEVER KNEW THAT KING BORIS
HAD ACQUIRED A BLEMISH
ON HIS LEFT CHEEK.
ARE YOU SAYING
THEY ARE COUNTERFEIT?
I'M AFRAID SO.
I'M AFRAID THERE WILL
HAVE TO BE AN INVESTIGATION.
I ASSURE YOU, SIR MALCOLM,
THAT NEITHER MY GOVERNMENT
NOR MYSELF
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
OH, I'M SURE THERE WAS
NO PLOT TO DEFRAUD.
BUT THERE WILL HAVE TO BE
AN INVESTIGATION.
A MERE FORMALITY.
I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
I MYSELF WILL CONDUCT
AN INVESTIGATION
IN THIS MATTER.
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,
I WILL SEE THAT THE GOLD
IS ORDERED BACK
TO THE BAHKAN TREASURY.
GENTLEMEN.
I WAS THINKING OF HAVING
A LITTLE LATE LUNCH
WITH THE AMBASSADOR,
PREMIER.
PERHAPS YOU'D CARE
TO JOIN US?
SOME OTHER TIME,
SIR MALCOLM.
I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT
BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.
I UNDERSTAND.
GOODBYE, MINISTER.
PREMIER...UH...
I CAN EXPLAIN.
PLEASE, STRAVOS.
I DO NOT WANT TO
LISTEN TO ANY LIES
YOU JUST THOUGHT OF.
BUT, PREMIER --
I HAVE ONLY ONE SIMPLE
REQUEST TO ASK OF YOU.
B-BUT I CAN EXPLAIN
EVERYTHING.
YOU MUST LISTEN.
GIVE ME A CHANCE.
[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]
PLAYS ]
[ ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING ]
Man: GOOD MORNING, MR. PHELPS.
ONE OF THESE 100-DRONA NOTES
IS THE LEGITIMATE CURRENCY
OF THE KINGDOM OF BAHKAN.
THE OTHER
IS A PERFECT COUNTERFEIT.
100 MILLION
OF THIS COUNTERFEIT DRONA
HAVE BEEN PRINTED
BY IGOR STRAVOS,
FINANCE MINISTER OF THE
FEDERATED PEOPLES' REPUBLIC.
STRAVOS HAS DEMANDED
THAT BAHKAN
REDEEM ITS CURRENCY IN GOLD.
IF BAHKAN CANNOT PROVE
THE NOTES ARE COUNTERFEIT,
IT MUST MEET THE DEMAND.
STRAVOS KNOWS THIS WILL
EXHAUST BAHKAN'S GOLD RESERVE
AND PRECIPITATE THE OVERTHROW
OF BAHKAN'S
PRO-WESTERN GOVERNMENT.
YOUR MISSION, JIM,
SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO ACCEPT IT,
IS TO DESTROY
THE COUNTERFEIT DRONA,
GET THE PLATES,
AND MAKE CERTAIN THAT STRAVOS
NEVER AGAIN PRESENTS A THREAT.
AS ALWAYS, SHOULD YOU
OR ANY OF YOUR I.M. FORCE
BE CAUGHT OR KILLED,
THE SECRETARY WILL DISAVOW
ANY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR ACTIONS.
THIS TAPE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT
IN FIVE SECONDS.
GOOD LUCK, JIM.
ALL I HEARD WAS A LOW HUM.
IT'LL PROTECT YOU
FROM THE ULTRASONIC SOUND,
BUT ONLY FOR 10 MINUTES,
12 MINUTES AT THE OUTSIDE.
AFTER THAT,
THE POWER PACK BURNS UP.
WHAT HAPPENS THEN?
ULTRASONIC WAVES OPERATING
AT A MILLION CYCLES A SECOND
CAN COOK AN EGG.
THE SOUND FREQUENCY
IN THAT CORRIDOR
IS THRE MILLION CYCLES.
YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO HEAR IT,
BUT IN TWO MINUTES, IT CAN
TURN YOU INTO A VEGETABLE.
I WILL TRY
TO REMEMBER THAT.
UNFORTUNATELY,
ONLY STRAVOS' VOICEPRINT
CAN TURN OFF THE CURRENT
IN THE CORRIDOR.
WE CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT
THEIR KNOWING ABOUT IT.
WILLY?
THIS WILL FIT RIGHT OVER
THEIR TIME LOCK.
WHEN THEY SET THIS TO OPEN
AT 8:00 IN THE MORNING,
THIS WILL RECALIBRATE
THE TIME
SO IT WILL OPEN THE VAULT
DOOR AT 12:00 MIDNIGHT.
GOOD. NOW,
THE BAHKAN GOVERNMENT
HAS AGREED
TO COOPERATE WITH US.
THEY'VE ALREADY
ALLOWED STRAVOS ACCESS
TO A DUPLICATE
OF THIS FILE.
AND THEY'VE GIVEN US...
A LEGITIMATE DRONA.
AT LEAST ONE SIDE OF IT.
AND THESE.
LEGITIMATE PLATES?
YES, WITH, UH,
ONE MINOR ALTERATION.
BARNEY?
GOOD.
THAT'S FINE, BARNEY.
BUT JIM, PAPER MONEY
PACKED THAT SOLID
WON'T BURN
ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
THAT'S RIGHT, BETH.
BUT STRAVOS HAS MADE
PERFECT COUNTERFEIT DRONA.
THEY'RE UNDETECTABLE.
SO YOU CAN BE SURE THAT
HE'S TAKING EVERY PRECAUTION
TO SEE THAT
THEY'RE PROTECTED.
WELL, WE'RE GOING TO USE
HIS PRECAUTIONS TO DESTROY HIM.
[ BUZZES ]
YES?
WOMAN: Baron Rakozny,
special envoy from the
Kingdom of Bahkan, minister.
SHOW HIM IN.
BARON RAKOZNY.
MINISTER STRAVOS.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
THANK YOU.
I WOULD PREFER TO STAND.
OH. A COGNAC?
NO, THANK YOU.
I WOULD LIKE A GLASS.
I WOULD LIKE TO
COME TO THE POINT.
WE DO NOT HAVE TIME
FOR AMENITIES.
PROCEED, PROCEED, BARON.
YOU HAVE BEEN INFORMED
MY COUNTRY'S GOVERNMENT HAS
DECIDED TO REDEEM, IN GOLD,
THE 100 MILLION DRONA
HELD BY THE FEDERATED
PEOPLES' REPUBLIC?
OH, YES.
I THEREFORE PROPOSE
THIS MEETING TAKE PLACE
TOMORROW AFTERNOON,
HERE IN YOUR OFFICE, 2:00,
AND THAT THE WORLD
MONETARY COMMISSION
WITNESS THE EXCHANGE.
THAT IS SATISFACTORY.
VERY WELL.
THIS IS YURI ZAGAR.
IF YOU HAVE NO OBJECTION,
I WOULD LIKE HIM TO INSPECT
THE DRONA YOUR COUNTRY HOLDS.
BUT WHY?
WE HAVE HEARD RUMORS
OUR CURRENCY HAS BEEN
COUNTERFEITED IN QUANTITY.
YOUR GOVERNMENT MAY HAVE
RECEIVED SOME OF THIS --
UNWITTINGLY, OF COURSE.
NATURALLY, WE WOULD
LIKE TO ISOLATE IT.
IS MR. ZAGAR QUALIFIED
TO DISCOVER
COUNTERFEIT DRONA?
EMINENTLY QUALIFIED,
MINISTER.
WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE THIS
INSPECTION TO TAKE PLACE?
IF YOU SO PLEASE,
IMMEDIATELY.
VERY WELL. FOLLOW ME.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE ]
WHAT IS THE TROUBLE?
THESE BULBS ARE DUE
TO BE REPLACED.
OH.
I HAVE A MEETING
AT THE EMBASSY.
IF YOU HAVE NO OBJECTION,
MR. ZAGAR WILL STAY HERE
AND CONTINUE THE INSPECTION?
OF COURSE.
GIVE MR. ZAGAR
ANY ASSISTANCE HE MAY REQUIRE.
BRUNO!
ELIZABETH.
UM, MINISTER STRAVOS,
MY WIFE, THE BARONESS
ELIZABETH RAKOZNY.
BARONESS.
MINISTER.
I AM VERY BUSY, ELIZABETH.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU PROMISED ME THIS MORNING
YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO LUNCH --
REMEMBER?
POSSIBLY, BUT I'M AFRAID
IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION NOW.
OH, BUT THIS IS
OUR LAST DAY HERE,
AND I WANTED TO SEE
THE CAFE ONTEEM.
THE CAFE ONTEEM?!
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
DON'T YOU KNOW
ITS REPUTATION?
YES. IT'S ONE OF
THE MOST FAMOUS CAFES IN EUROPE.
INFAMOUS, YOU MEAN.
IT'S A RENDEZVOUS FOR LOVERS,
FOR MEN AND THEIR MISTRESSES.
BRUNO, WE ARE MARRIED.
I WANT TO GO.
NO, I FORBID IT.
YOU DID NOT FORBID
MR. ZAGAR.
MR. ZAGAR DOES
AS HE PLEASES
SINCE HE DOES NOT HAVE
A REPUTATION TO PROTECT.
NOW, I MUST MEET
THE AMBASSADOR IN 20 MINUTES.
BUT BRUNO, I --
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
MINISTER.
WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE, UH,
FOR ME TO ARRANGE
FOR A GOVERNMENT CAR
TO TAKE YOU --
I'M TIRED OF LOOKING
AT YOUR COUNTRY
THROUGH A HOTEL WINDOW!
OH.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S...IT'S JUST THAT
BRUNO IS SO IMPOSSIBLE.
WELL, HE IS
RATHER STRANGE.
QUITE...VICTORIAN.
VICTORIAN?
AUTOCRATIC, YOU MEAN.
HE BELIEVES
HE RULES EVERYTHING.
EVERYBODY BUT MR. ZAGAR.
MR. ZAGAR IS DIFFERENT.
HE IS...
WHAT?
HOW? HOW?
HOW IS HE DIFFERENT?
ARE YOU AS CURIOUS
ABOUT HIM
AS I AM
ABOUT THE CAFE ONTEEM?
YOUR HUSBAND FORBIDS YOU
TO GO THERE.
I KNOW A LOT
ABOUT MR. ZAGAR.
I WOULD BE WILLING
TO DISCUSS HIM OVER LUNCH.
I'M AFRAID YOUR HUSBAND
WOULD BE VERY ANGRY IF --
MR. ZAGAR IS A CRIMINAL.
WHAT KIND OF CRIMINAL?
LUNCH? SAY, UH, 1:00?
I'M AFRAID THAT
I AM NOT BRAVE ENOUGH
TO RISK
YOUR HUSBAND'S ANGER.
PLEASE,
WHAT KIND OF CRIMINAL?
HE IS A COUNTERFEITER.
AND...MORE.
1:00?
1:00 IT IS.
OH, I'M SORRY.
TURN ON THE LIGHTS,
PLEASE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
[ RINGING CONTINUES ]
PREMIER ROSHKOFF,
I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN.
But I can assure you
that the Kingdom of Bahkan
can prove nothing.
I TRUST NOT.
IT WOULD BE VERY EMBARRASSING
IF THEY DID...
an embarrassment that would have
severe repercussions.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, STRAVOS?
PERFECTLY, PREMIER.
[ Receiver clicks ]
[ BUZZER ]
YES?
WOMAN:
Mr. Zagar to see you.
SHOW HIM IN.
HAVE YOU COMPLETED
THE INSPECTION ALREADY,
MR. ZAGAR?
YES.
AT LEAST,
TO MY SATISFACTION.
YOURS?
WHAT ABOUT
BARON RAKOZNY'S?
WE'LL SEE.
[ LAUGHS ]
IT AMAZES ME THAT BARON
RAKOZNY WOULD ENLIST THE AID
OF A MAN LIKE YOU
TO ADVISE HIM.
A MAN LIKE ME?
YES, COUNTERFEITER.
[ LAUGHING ]
CAN YOU THINK OF ANYONE
WHO WOULD BE BETTER QUALIFIED
TO DETECT...
COUNTERFEIT MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BUT THEY ARE GOOD.
IN FACT, EXCELLENT.
THEY ARE NOT COUNTERFEIT.
THEY ARE.
BUT THEY WILL PASS
THE INSPECTION
OF THE WORLD
MONETARY COMMISSION.
HOWEVER,
THEY WILL NOT BRING ABOUT
A MONETARY CRISIS
IN BAHKAN.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE
YOU HAVE BEEN MISLED
ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF GOLD
THE BAHKAN GOVERNMENT
HAS IN RESERVE.
IT HAS 200 MILLION,
NOT 100.
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU.
WHY SHOULD I LIE?
HOWEVER, NOW THAT
YOU ARE FOREWARNED,
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRINT
ANOTHER 100 MILLION DRONA.
HA! IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE.
THE BARON
HAS THE AUTHORITY
TO WITHDRAW THE ENTIRE
200 MILLION IN GOLD
FROM THE BAHKAN TREASURY,
IF NECESSARY.
WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO HELPFUL, MR. ZAGAR?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
MY, UH...
MY NEEDS ARE VERY SIMPLE.
I LIVE A MODEST LIFE.
SAY, UH...
THREE MILLION DRONA...
IN GOLD.
OF COURSE,
IN ORDER TO PAY ME,
YOU WOULD HAVE TO
INDUCE THE BARON
TO EXCHANGE THE REST
OF BAHKAN'S GOLD RESERVE
FOR ANOTHER
100 MILLION DRONA
WITHOUT YOUR GOVERNMENT
KNOWING ABOUT IT.
A SECRET EXCHANGE?
EXACTLY.
ONE WHICH WOULD TAKE PLACE
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE BORDER,
AFTER
THE OFFICIAL EXCHANGE.
THE IDEA IS PREPOSTEROUS.
IT WOULD NEVER WORK.
BESIDES, I KNOW NO WAYS
TO BLACKMAIL BARON RAKOZNY.
DO YOU?
NO.
BUT I'M SURE THAT THE
FEDERATED PEOPLES' REPUBLIC
HAS A COMPLETE DOSSIER ON
EVERY HIGH-RANKING OFFICIAL
IN THE BAHKAN GOVERNMENT.
AND...SOMEWHERE
IN THE BARON'S FILE,
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
YOU COULD USE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
Woman: Yes, minister?
BRING ME
BARON RAKOZNY'S FILE.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
I CAN SEE NOW WHY
THIS CAFE IS A LEGEND.
I WONDER HOW MANY OF
THESE PEOPLE ARE MARRIED.
MOST OF THEM ARE,
BUT NOT TO EACH OTHER.
MR. ZAGAR IS APPARENTLY
QUITE THE LADIES' MAN.
HE IS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
OH, I THINK
HE'S TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
REALLY?
UH...WELL,
WHAT I MEAN...
WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY
WOMEN FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE.
EVEN THOUGH
HE'S A CRIMINAL?
BUT YOU DO NOT THINK OF
COUNTERFEITERS AS CRIMINALS.
THEY...THEY SEEM
MORE LIKE ARTISTS.
THERE'S SOMETHING
SO ROMANTIC
ABOUT THE WAY THEY --
[ GASPS ]
Please get me out of here.
He mustn't see me.
This way.
EVERY WORKER IS ENTITLED
TO A LUNCH BREAK, BARON.
YES, I SEE.
ELIZABETH!
ELIZABETH --
HOW COULD YOU,
AFTER I HAVE EXPRESSLY
FORBIDDEN YOU TO COME HERE?
BARON, I CAN EXPLAIN.
IT'S MY FAULT. YOU SEE --
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I ASKED MINISTER STRAVOS
TO BRING ME HERE.
YES, I CAN BELIEVE THAT.
BARON --
I KNOW MY WIFE BETTER
THAN SHE THINKS I DO.
BRUNO --
DON'T MAKE A SCENE,
ELIZABETH.
YOU'RE DESPICABLE,
BRUNO!
WE WILL DISCUSS THAT
AND YOUR BEHAVIOR
BACK AT THE HOTEL.
YOU ARE MAKING
A SPECTACLE, ELIZABETH.
DO NOT FORGET
YOU ARE A RAKOZNY.
HOW I WISH
I COULD FORGET!
WELL!
THIS IS A SURPRISE.
WAIT IN THE CAR,
PLEASE.
I WOULD SUGGEST
YOU ALSO LEAVE, MR. ZAGAR,
AND FINISH
YOUR INSPECTION.
OF COURSE, BARON.
AFTER I HAVE SAID GOODBYE
TO MY FRIENDS.
MR. ZAGAR, I WOULD LIKE
TO TALK WITH YOU
IN MY OFFICE ABOUT WHAT
WE DISCUSSED THIS MORNING.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
I HAVE NEVER READ
SUCH A DREARY
COMPENDIUM RECORD IN MY LIFE.
THIS MAN IS SO VIRTUOUS,
HE IS ABSOLUTELY INHUMAN.
WELL, IF YOU FOUND NOTHING
IN THE BARON'S DOSSIER,
WHAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE
YOU CAN STILL BLACKMAIL HIM?
AH! THROUGH HIS WIFE,
THE BARONESS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OH, YES, YOU DO.
YOU'RE A VERY PERCEPTIVE MAN.
YOU HAVE SEEN THE WAY THE
BARONESS LOOKS AT YOU, HMM?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS INVITE HER
FOR A LATE SUPPER AT
THE CAFE ONTEEM THIS EVENING,
IN ONE OF THEIR
PRIVATE DINING ROOMS, HUH?
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
THAT IS
ALL I HAVE TO DO, EH?
I WILL RECORD THE ENTIRE
RENDEZVOUS ON FILM.
[ Laughing ] WHICH YOU
WILL THEN SHOW TO THE BARON.
[ Sternly ]
WHO WILL THEN KILL ME.
HE'S A VERY PROUD MAN.
EXACTLY!
THE BARON IS SO PROUD
OF THE NAME RAKOZNY
THAT HE WILL DO EVERYTHING
TO PROTECT IT
FROM PUBLIC SCANDAL
AND SHAME.
AND THERE WILL ALSO BE
SOME EXTRA GOLD FOR YOU --
PERHAPS AN ADDITIONAL
QUARTER MILLION?
I THOUGHT MORE LIKE, UH...
A HALF.
A HALF A MILLION?
OH, THAT IS GETTING STIFF.
NO, NO, NO. I MEAN HALF
OF THE 100 MILLION.
A FULL PARTNERSHIP.
OH. [ SCOFFS ]
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
I AM VERY SERIOUS WHEN
IT COMES TO RISKING MY LIFE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I WOULD DO WITHOUT IT.
HMM.
[ LAUGHING ]
WELL, IGOR.
SHALL I CALL
THE BARONESS...
OR THE BARON?
FOREIGN CURRENCY EXCHANGE.
BOX 914.
YOU HAVE A MATCH?
YES, I THINK SO.
JUST KEEP THEM.
THANK YOU.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
LET ME POUR YOU
ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
I REALLY DON'T THINK
I SHOULD.
IF BRUNO EVER FOUND OUT
THAT I WAS --
PLEASE.
I WANT TO HEAR NO MORE TALK
ABOUT THE BARON.
BUT --
PLEASE.
TO US.
BUT WE HARDLY KNOW EACH OTHER.
THAT IS A MISTAKE...
WHICH CAN EASILY BE CORRECTED.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS PROPER?
WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,
WHAT COULD BE MORE PROPER?
WE REALLY SHOULDN'T.
YOUR VOICE
TELLS ME "NO"...
BUT YOUR EYES SAY "YES."
I WONDER
WHICH I SHOULD BELIEVE.
OH, YURI.
YURI.
[ PANTING ]
YOU KNOW MY TERMS, BARON.
EITHER YOU RELEASE THE EXTRA
100 MILLION IN GOLD,
OR THE FILM THAT YOU JUST SAW
WILL BECOME...PUBLIC PROPERTY.
DECENCY. MY...
HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?
NO.
ONLY A PROBLEM --
ONE WHICH YOU CAN SOLVE.
WELL, BARON?
THE HOUSE OF RAKOZNY...
DATES FROM THE 14th CENTURY
WITHOUT A BREATH OF SCANDAL.
NOW, TO PROTECT IT,
YOU WOULD ASK ME
TO BECOME A THIEF
AND A TRAITOR
TO MY COUNTRY.
WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE
LITTLE COMPROMISES.
I NEED TIME TO THINK.
NO. I WANT
YOUR ANSWER NOW.
WELL?
WHEN AND WHERE...
DO YOU PROPOSE
THIS SECRET EXCHANGE
TO TAKE PLACE?
AT THE BORDER CROSSING
WEST OF ZENOGRAD,
5:00 TOMORROW AFTERNOON.
THE GOLD WILL BE THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
CONGRATULATIONS, IGOR.
I AM GOING TO ARRANGE
WITH THE GOVERNMENT
PRINTING OFFICE
TO SEND OVER
TWO OF THEIR BEST MEN
TO START PRINTING UP
THE EXTRA DRONA.
THEY MIGHT TALK.
NO, NO.
I WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM
THE SAME WAY
THAT I TOOK CARE
OF THE FIRST TWO.
THAT COULD LOOK SUSPICIOUS.
TWO MORE GOVERNMENT
PRINTERS MISSING
SO SOON AFTER THE FIRST TWO
DISAPPEAR.
IF THE PREMIER HEARD OF IT,
HE MIGHT BEGIN TO SUSPECT.
THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE.
YES, THERE IS.
TWO FORMER...
COLLEAGUES OF MINE --
EXCELLENT MEN --
THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE
VISITING
IN THE FEDERATED PEOPLES'
REPUBLIC AT THE MOMENT.
I SEE.
YOU HAD THIS WHOLE THING
PLANNED
BEFORE YOU LEFT BAHKAN,
DIDN'T YOU?
[ Laughing ] NO, NO, NO.
WHAT TIME SHALL I HAVE
MY MEN HERE IN THE MORNING?
8:00 TOMORROW MORNING,
READY TO WORK
AS SOON AS I GET THE PLATES
FROM THE VAULT.
[ LAUGHS ]
[ BUZZER ]
[ CLICK ]
[ SOUND WAVE REVERBERATES ]
[ SOUND WAVE REVERBERATES ]
[ SOUND WAVE REVERBERATES ]
[ DISTORTED RUMBLING ]
[ HIGHER-PITCHED WAVE
REVERBERATES ]
[ WAVES INCREASE
IN FREQUENCY AND PITCH ]
[ HIGH-PITCHED WAVE SOUNDS ]
[ HIGH-PITCHED WAVE CONTINUES ]
[ SILENCE ]
WHAT IS THAT?
INK AND CLEANING SOLVENT.
[ BUZZER ]
HELLO, THIS IS THE MINISTER.
TURN OFF THE SOUND, PLEASE.
OH. GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, MINISTER.
YOUR MEN ARE HERE?
THEY ARE READY
AND WAITING.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
HOW MUCH
HAVE YOU TOLD THEM?
EVERYTHING.
THEY ARE FRIENDS --
COMPLETELY RELIABLE.
AND, UH, WHAT ABOUT
THE GUARD OUTSIDE?
RELIABLE ALSO.
PLEASE.
THIS PRINTING HAS TO BE DONE
BY 2:00 THIS AFTERNOON
FOR SHIPMENT TO ZENOGRAD.
YOU HAVE
EVERYTHING YOU NEED?
YES, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
THEN GET TO WORK.
ARE YOU STAYING,
MINISTER?
HUH-HUH! THESE PLATES
NEVER GO OUT OF MY SIGHT,
EXCEPT WHEN THEY ARE
IN THE VAULT.
[ MOTOR GRINDS ]
PERFECT!
PLEASE BE SEATED,
GENTLEMEN.
I WILL TELL THE MINISTER
YOU ARE HERE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
YES?
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
RAKOZNY
AND SIR MALCOLM FORRESTER
OF THE WORLD MONETARY
COMMISSION HAVE ARRIVED.
GUARD.
PUT THIS
IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR
AND BRING OUT THE CURRENCY
THAT'S ALREADY THERE.
MINISTER, WHY WASTE TIME
MOVING THIS INTO THE OTHER ROOM,
SHIFTING AROUND LIKE THIS.
WHY NOT USE
THIS CURRENCY UPSTAIRS
AND SEND THE OTHER
TO ZENOGRAD?
AFTER ALL,
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
TAKE THIS CURRENCY
UP TO MY OFFICE
AND LOAD THE OTHER CURRENCY
ONTO THE TRUCK TO ZENOGRAD.
GIVE ME THE PLATES.
TAKE THESE
TO THE MINISTER'S OFFICE.
[ COUGHS ]
GET ME THE VAULT OFFICE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
MINISTER,
A CALL FOR YOU.
YES?
WHAT?!
AH, PREMIER. HOW NICE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
SIR MALCOLM.
THIS IS
THE BARON RAKOZNY.
BARON.
PREMIER ROSHKOFF.
HAS THE OTHER CURRENCY
BEEN SENT TO MY OFFICE?
YES, MINISTER,
A FEW MINUTES AGO.
PREMIER ROSHKOFF.
IGOR.
I WAS NOT INFORMED THAT
YOU WOULD ATTEND, PREMIER.
NO, I CHANGED MY PLANS
AT THE LAST MOMENT.
SIR MALCOLM,
SHALL WE PROCEED?
BUT-BUT THE BARON'S MAN,
YURI ZAGAR,
HAS ALREADY INSPECTED
THE MONEY.
MUST WE HAVE
ANOTHER EXAMINATION?
I'M SORRY, BUT THE RULES OF
THE WORLD MONETARY COMMISSION
REQUIRE THAT I AT LEAST
MAKE A CURSORY INSPECTION.
IT'S MERE FORMALITY.
I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND.
HMM. THAT'S ODD.
WHAT IS, SIR MALCOLM?
I NEVER KNEW THAT KING BORIS
HAD ACQUIRED A BLEMISH
ON HIS LEFT CHEEK.
ARE YOU SAYING
THEY ARE COUNTERFEIT?
I'M AFRAID SO.
I'M AFRAID THERE WILL
HAVE TO BE AN INVESTIGATION.
I ASSURE YOU, SIR MALCOLM,
THAT NEITHER MY GOVERNMENT
NOR MYSELF
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
OH, I'M SURE THERE WAS
NO PLOT TO DEFRAUD.
BUT THERE WILL HAVE TO BE
AN INVESTIGATION.
A MERE FORMALITY.
I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
I MYSELF WILL CONDUCT
AN INVESTIGATION
IN THIS MATTER.
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,
I WILL SEE THAT THE GOLD
IS ORDERED BACK
TO THE BAHKAN TREASURY.
GENTLEMEN.
I WAS THINKING OF HAVING
A LITTLE LATE LUNCH
WITH THE AMBASSADOR,
PREMIER.
PERHAPS YOU'D CARE
TO JOIN US?
SOME OTHER TIME,
SIR MALCOLM.
I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT
BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.
I UNDERSTAND.
GOODBYE, MINISTER.
PREMIER...UH...
I CAN EXPLAIN.
PLEASE, STRAVOS.
I DO NOT WANT TO
LISTEN TO ANY LIES
YOU JUST THOUGHT OF.
BUT, PREMIER --
I HAVE ONLY ONE SIMPLE
REQUEST TO ASK OF YOU.
B-BUT I CAN EXPLAIN
EVERYTHING.
YOU MUST LISTEN.
GIVE ME A CHANCE.
[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]