Mission: Impossible (1966–1973): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Play - full transcript

[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]

Man: GOOD MORNING, MR. PHELPS.

THE MAN YOU'RE LOOKING AT
IS MILOS KURO,

MINISTER OF CULTURE
AND DIRECTOR

OF THE NATIONAL THEATER
OF THE UCR.

KURO HAS BEEN BOMBARDING
HIS PEOPLE

WITH VICIOUS
ANTI-AMERICAN PROPAGANDA

IN ORDER TO DISCREDIT
THE UCR's PREMIER --

LEON VADOS.

CONSIDERED A PROGRESSIVE
BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN,

VADOS IS ATTEMPTING
TO NEGOTIATE



A NONAGGRESSION PACT
BETWEEN HIS COUNTRY AND OURS.

YOUR MISSION, JIM,
SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO ACCEPT IT,

IS TO STOP KURO
BEFORE HE DESTROYS

ALL HOPES FOR PEACE
BETWEEN OUR TWO COUNTRIES.

AS ALWAYS, SHOULD YOU
OR ANY OF YOUR I.M. FORCE

BE CAUGHT OR KILLED,

THE SECRETARY WILL DISAVOW
ANY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR ACTIONS.

PLEASE DISPOSE
OF THIS RECORDING

IN THE USUAL MANNER.

GOOD LUCK, JIM.

[ TONE SOUNDS ]

[ PITCH INCREASES ]

1...

2...



3...

4...5...

6.

NOW WHAT DID YOU HEAR?

JUST YOUR COUNTING, JIM.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR
THE SHOTS?

NO, BUT WHY?

RADAR -- CREATES
A SOUND ENVELOPE.

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN
HEAR INSIDE IS WHAT'S PIPED IN.

THEN WHERE THE PREMIER SITS
WILL BE CRITICAL.

UNLESS HE'S SEATED DIRECTLY
UNDER THE DISK,

IT'S ALL OVER, CINNAMON.

NOW HOW ABOUT THE ADS?

THEY START RUNNING
IN TOMORROW'S NEWSPAPERS.

I'LL BE DOING PRESS INTERVIEWS
RIGHT UP UNTIL THE OPENING.

WELL, KEEP THEM
CONTROVERSIAL.

I DON'T WANT KURO TO BE ABLE
TO OPEN A NEWSPAPER

OR TURN ON A TELEVISION SET
WITHOUT SEEING YOU.

YOU ALL SET
FOR THE MOB SCENE, ROLLIN?

YES, JIM, WE'LL HAVE
ENOUGH ACTORS

TO POSE AS POLICE
AND PICKETS AND, UH,

PROBABLY GET SOME
GOOD NEWSPAPER COVERAGE.

ALSO PICKED UP
SOME REAL FANATICS.

GOOD, THEN WE'RE ALL SET
TO GIVE MR. KURO

THE MOST ANTI-AMERICAN
PROPAGANDA WEAPON

HE'S EVER HAD.

[ Slavic accent ]
THE SWINE.

HE WAITS
TILL I AM OUT OF THE COUNTRY

TO PREACH
HIS REVISIONIST POISON.

BUT WHAT HARM DOES HE DO?

HERE IN AMERICA,
IT IS REPORTED, YES,

BUT AT HOME, NOT ONE WORD.

IN OUR PRESS,

THE NEWS IS STILL
OF AMERICAN IMPERIALISM

IN SOUTHEAST ASIA.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THESE PICTURES SHOW

WHAT COEXISTENCE
REALLY MEANS, MM?

NOW, THIS IS THE KIND OF
CREATIVE PROPAGANDA I CAN USE.

AH.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

GOOD EVENING.

LEE CONRAD,
STATE DEPARTMENT.

YES, MR. CONRAD.

COME IN, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

YOUR EXCELLENCY...

I'VE BEEN ASSIGNED
TO ARRANGE AN EVENING

OF ENTERTAINMENT
FOR YOU.

I'VE HAD ALMOST A WEEK

OF YOUR STATE DEPARTMENT'S
ORGANIZED BOREDOM.

SINCE TONIGHT IS MY LAST NIGHT
IN YOUR COUNTRY,

I'D PREFER TO SPEND IT
WITHOUT A WATCHDOG.

I'M NOT A WATCHDOG,
YOUR EXCELLENCY.

I'M YOUR HOST.

I'M QUITE SURE
YOU'LL ENJOY THE EVENING

I HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU.

I'VE READ ABOUT THIS PLAY.

PREMIER VADOS
AND YOUR PRESIDENT

ARE THE ONLY
TWO CHARACTERS, HMM?

THAT'S CORRECT.

I TRUST YOU HAVE
A SENSE OF HUMOR.

I'M CURIOUS TO SEE
WHAT YOU AMERICANS THINK...

IS FUNNY.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Woman:
WHAT DOES SHE MEAN -- TRYING
TO PUT ON A PLAY LIKE THAT?

Woman #2: I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY WOULD LET HER DO IT!

Man: WHAT'S THIS COUNTRY
COMING TO?!

IT'S OPENING NIGHT,
AND THERE'S AN ANGRY

AND ALMOST VIOLENT CROWD HERE
AT THE DELPHI THEATRE

WHERE JOAN VINCENT'S PLAY

"AT THE SUMMIT" IS
TO HAVE ITS PREMIERE.

Woman: SHE OUGHT TO BE
DEPORTED!

Woman #2: TRAITOR!

Man: WHY DON'T YOU
GET OUT?

[ MOB YELLING ]

GET OUT!

LET'S MOVE IN A LITTLE CLOSER
AND SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

[ YELLING CONTINUES ]

IT IS A VIOLENT DISAGREEMENT
OVER THE POLITICAL ARGUMENT

THAT'S OFFERED IN THE PLAY.

NOW HERE IS THE AUTHORESS
OVER HERE -- MISS VINCENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS DEMONSTRATION?

WHAT'S YOUR REACTION?

GET A SHOT OF THAT.

LOOK, YOU KNOW
AS WELL AS I DO,

YOU CANNOT LOCK UP IDEAS
WITH A PADLOCK.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT
OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP!

YOU LOUSY TRAITOR!

TRAITOR! TRAITOR!

LOOK, DISSENT IS NOT TREASON.

IT IS GUARANTEED
BY THE CONSTITUTION

OF THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA.

Man: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT?!

GET OUT!
YEAH!

ALL RIGHT,
BACK OFF, BACK OFF.

EVERYBODY, BACK.

I WANT EVERYBODY
TO CLEAR THIS AREA.

RIGHT NOW.
CLEAR THE AREA.

LOOK, THE POLICE
CAN CLOSE UP THE THEATRE,

BUT THEY CANNOT STOP YOU
FROM READING MY PLAY.

Man: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!

HERE, TAKE A COPY OF THAT.

GO ON, YOU TAKE THAT HOME.
READ IT.

GO ON. HERE, TAKE THAT HOME.
READ IT, NOW.

GIVE THAT A GOOD READ.

YOU'LL FIND OUT
WHAT THAT SAYS

ABOUT THE RIGHTS
OF THE PEOPLE.

HERE YOU ARE, SIR.

HEY,
AREN'T YOU MILOS KURO?

JOAN, COME HERE!

THIS IS MILOS KURO
FROM THE UCR.

IT SEEMS THAT
GOVERNMENT CENSORSHIP

HAS RUINED OUR EVENING.

GOVERNMENT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THIS, SIR.

THIS IS A LOCAL MATTER.

WELL, IT'S GOVERNMENTAL.

IF IT'S LOCAL, STATE,
CITY, OR COUNTRY,

ANY WAY YOU MAP THIS,
THIS IS CENSORSHIP.

AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS
IN YOUR COUNTRY?

IN THE UCR,

THERE IS NO SUCH THING
AS CENSORSHIP.

THERE WE DO NOT FEAR
NEW IDEAS.

WE WELCOME THEM.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF DOING
THE PLAY IN YOUR COUNTRY?

WELL, IT'S, UH,
IT'S NOT FAIR TO ASK THAT

WITHOUT MY HAVING
SEEN THE PLAY.

WELL, IF THAT'S ALL
THAT IT TAKES,

YOU WILL SEE IT.

YES, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, I AGREE,

MR. PREMIER, AN ALLIANCE.

AN ALLIANCE,
MR. PRESIDENT,

AN ALLIANCE HAS BEEN
DEFINED AS TWO THIEVES,

EACH WITH HIS HAND
SO ENTANGLED

IN THE OTHER MAN'S POCKET
THAT THEY CANNOT

SEPARATELY PLUNDER
A THIRD.

IT APPEARS AT THIS POINT
THERE MAY NOT BE A THIRD.

STILL, MR. PRESIDENT...

STILL, IT MEANS PEACE.

"ON THE DARKENED WALL,
THE FLAGS OF BOTH COUNTRIES

SLOWLY MATERIALIZE."

PEACE...

PEACE WAS ONCE DESCRIBED
AS A PERIOD OF CHEATING

BETWEEN TWO WARS.

A PERIOD OF CHEATING, PERHAPS,
BUT STILL A PERIOD.

YES, A PERIOD.

CURTAIN.

IT'S SUPERB.

YOU ARE A GREAT TALENT,

AND YOU GENTLEMEN WERE PERFECT,
SUBTLE, SATIRIC,

BUT IN NO WAY CARICATURES.

OH, MARVELOUS.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL ALLOW US
TO DO THE PLAY IN THE UCR?

OH, YES.

OUR PEOPLE MUST SEE THIS,
EVEN IF YOURS CANNOT.

I PROMISE YOU A TOP PRODUCTION,

AND EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT BOUND
BY COPYRIGHT LAWS

WITH YOUR COUNTRY,
I PROMISE YOU FULL ROYALTIES

AND DRAMATIST'S PREROGATIVES.

MISS VINCENT,
YOU CANNOT DO THIS.

IF YOUR PLAY IS PRODUCED
IN THE UCR,

YOU'LL BE BRANDED AS A TRAITOR
HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.

WELL, I HOPE NOT.

LOOK, I DON'T CARE.

I'VE SPENT TWO YEARS
WRITING THIS PLAY.

I WANT TO SEE IT DONE.

WE'RE READY TO LEAVE.
THE SOONER, THE BETTER.

YOU, OF COURSE,
MUST BE THERE

TO HANDLE WHATEVER CHANGES
DURING REHEARSALS,

BUT FOR THE ACTORS,
I SHALL USE

THE TWO GREATEST STARS
OF MY COUNTRY --

VITOL ENZOR
AND ANTON USAKOS.

BUT YOU SAID
IT YOURSELF,

EVANSON AND PETERS
ARE PERFECT.

WELL, YES, BUT IN THE UCR,
THEY ARE UNKNOWN.

WE NEED OUR STARS
TO ATTRACT THE AUDIENCE.

BUT I PROMISED
SAM AND JIMMY.

I DO IT WITH ENZOR
AND USAKOS,

OR I DON'T DO IT AT ALL.

Jim: BARNEY, THIS IS THE AREA
ABOVE THE BALCONY.

WHAT'S DEPARTURE TIME?

CONFIRM BOTH RESERVATIONS.
THANK YOU.

[ RECEIVER CLICKS ]

YOUR PLANE LEAVES
IN AN HOUR.

RIGHT.

JIM, CAN YOU GET BACK
INTO THE UCR IN TIME?

YEAH, THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM.
WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE.

NOBODY IS ALLOWED INSIDE
THAT THEATER AT ANY TIME

WITHOUT A SPECIAL CLEARANCE.

SOMEBODY PLANTED A BOMB
IN THERE LAST WEEK,

AND THE WHOLE PLACE IS LOCKED UP
TIGHTER THAN FORT KNOX.

THAT'S RIGHT, JIM --

GUARDS INSIDE AND OUT,
EACH ONE WITH A SENTRY DOG.

COMRADE ENZOR,
HOW DO YOU DO?

MY NAME IS --

I KNOW.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

COME IN.

ASK YOUR QUESTIONS
AND GET OUT.

QUESTIONS, NO.

JUST ANSWERS.

ANSWERS?
FROM THE SECRET POLICE?

AND SINCE WHEN
DOES A MEMBER

OF THE SECRET POLICE
HAVE AN AMERICAN PASSPORT?

"DAVID MORGAN."

THE BROADWAY PRODUCER?

YES, I HAVE
A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

[ VEHICLE APPROACHING ]

SO "KING LEAR" ON BROADWAY --

THAT IS WHAT YOU OFFER ME.

WITH A 12-WEEK GUARANTEE
OF $6,000 A WEEK

IN AMERICAN DOLLARS.

HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE
TO PROVE MY LOYALTY?

HAVEN'T I PERFORMED
WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD

WHERE I'VE BEEN TOLD?

ALL RIGHT, FOR THE 100th TIME,
I LOVE MY COUNTRY,

I LOVE OUR GLORIOUS PREMIER.

I LOVE PROPAGANDA MINISTER KURO.

I AM HONORED TO BE
A PEOPLE'S ARTIST,

AND I HAVE NO DESIRE
TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

YOU IDIOT!
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

I'M NOT FROM YOUR
SECRET POLICE.

I AM DAVID MORGAN.

EVEN IF WHAT YOU SAY
IS TRUE,

YOU KNOW I AM NOT ALLOWED
TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

THAT WE CAN
TAKE CARE OF.

NOW, THERE IS
A CONTRACT --

RUN OF THE PLAY CONTRACT --
ALREADY SIGNED.

HERE IS A CERTIFIED CHECK

FOR $50,000 NEGOTIABLE
ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES,

AND THIS WILL GET YOU
OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

BUT THIS IS YOUR PASSPORT.

YES, WHICH SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM
FOR AN ACTOR OF YOUR RANGE.

[ DOG BARKS AND GROWLS ]

HE ONLY BITES
WHEN I TELL HIM TO.

I HAVE A TABLE
FOR BACKSTAGE.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
BRILLIANT AT MAKEUP.

IN OUR COUNTRY,

ACTORS MASTER
EVERY NUANCE OF THEIR ART.

NOW I'LL SHOW YOU
THE LIGHT PANEL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THEY BROUGHT
THE CONFERENCE TABLE.

THANK YOU.

A MIRACLE.

FOR ONCE, THEY SENT
EXACTLY WHAT WAS DESCRIBED

IN THE SCRIPT.

IT'S PERFECT.

OH, BY THE WAY,

I HAVE A FEW LITTLE
DIALOGUE CHANGES TO SUGGEST.

NOTHING MAJOR.

YOU KNOW,
THIS COULD WORK.

OH, YES.

WELL, YOU'D BETTER
GET STARTED.

WELL, I'LL GET PACKED.

NO, NO.

ALL YOU CAN TAKE

IS WHAT I BROUGHT
INTO THE COUNTRY.

YOU CAN'T TAKE
ANYTHING ALONG

THAT CAN IDENTIFY YOU
AT THE BORDER.

BUT MY AWARDS,
MY PICTURES, MY MEMENTOS.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED

IS IN THE BACK
OF MY LIMOUSINE.

BUT TO LEAVE BEHIND
A LIFETIME...

I'M SORRY,
BUT THERE'S NO OTHER WAY

IF YOU WANT
TO START A NEW LIFE.

GOOD LUCK.

ONE THING PUZZLES ME.

IF I HAVE YOUR PASSPORT,

HOW WILL YOU
GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY?

I'LL TELL YOU THAT
WHEN I SEE YOU IN NEW YORK.

MR. MORGAN.

READY, SIR.

[ CAR DOOR OPENS ]

[ SIGHS ]

NO, IT'S NOT THE SAME.

THAT CHANGES THE ENTIRE
MEANING OF THE SCENE.

IT DOESN'T CHANGE IT.

IT INTENSIFIES THE MEANING,

DRIVES THE POINT HOME.

DRIVES, YES,
LIKE A SLEDGEHAMMER.

GOOD. THEN THEY'LL REMEMBER,

AND WE WILL HAVE SUCCEEDED

IN MAKING THEM CHANGE
THEIR WAY OF THINKING.

[ SIGHS ] NOT THIS WAY.

IT'S NOT THEATER,
IT'S DULL BALD PROPAGANDA.

THE WAR FOR MEN'S MINDS.

WHOEVER WINS THAT WAR
WILL WIN EVERYTHING.

Usakos: SORRY TO BE LATE.

I APOLOGIZE, MY DEAR.

I WAS READING
YOUR LOVELY SCRIPT

AND LOST
ALL TRACK OF TIME.

NONSENSE. EACH OF OUR
STARS ARRIVES LATE

BECAUSE NEITHER WANTS TO BE
KEPT WAITING BY THE OTHER.

ENZOR IS NOT HERE?

HOW DARE HE
KEEP ME WAITING?

Rollin: IT IS NOT I
WHO HAS KEPT YOU WAITING.

IT WAS THOSE FOOL GUARDS
WITH THEIR DOGS.

WELL, LET'S NOT
WASTE ANY MORE TIME.

LET'S GET TO WORK.

Kuro: ALL RIGHT,
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN

FROM THE START
OF ACT TWO.

DON'T PRESS.

WE'RE JUST READING
FOR UNDERSTANDING.

AND, ENZOR, A LITTLE
SLOWER, IF YOU PLEASE,

TO GIVE ME A CHANCE

TO EXPRESS SOME MEANING.

LIKE KURO,
I'D BE GRATEFUL

IF YOU COULD JUST EXPRESS
SOME UNDERSTANDING.

YOU WOULD BE GRATEFUL?

Kuro: PLEASE, GENTLEMEN.
IT'S A READING.

JUST FOR COMPREHENSION.

AND A LITTLE SLOWER.

ALL RIGHT,
WHERE ARE WE?

MR. PREMIER,

YOU SHOULD THANK THE GOD
YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN

FOR IMPERIALISTS.

ANTI-IMPERIALISM
IS FINISHED WITHOUT US.

PERHAPS. YOU KNOW,
YOU SOUND LIKE A CLERGYMAN

GRATEFUL FOR
THE EXISTENCE OF EVIL,

SINCE WITHOUT IT,
HE'D BE OUT OF BUSINESS.

BUSINESS? OH.

BUSINESS IS SIMPLE.

IT'S MONEY.

OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY.

WHICH BRINGS US
BACK TO --

ONLY THE ROOT OF IT.

ENZOR! WILL YOU PLEASE STOP
STEPPING ON MY LINES?

YOUR LINE WAS FINISHED.

PERHAPS WHAT MR. USAKOS MEANS

IS THAT THERE'S MORE
TO A SPEECH THAN JUST THE WORDS.

EXACTLY, MY DEAR.

THANK YOU.

YOU ARE
VERY UNDERSTANDING

TO LET SOMETHING OF MY
INNER FEELINGS COME OUT.

IS THAT ALTOGETHER
A GOOD IDEA?

ENOUGH!

ENOUGH
OF THIS SESSION!

LEARN THE LINES
AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!

I WANT TO GET THIS PLAY
ON ITS FEET!

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

AS I HAVE SAID...

SIMPLY TRYING
TO PERFORM THE ROLE.

YOU KNOW HOW I PERFORM
A ROLE, DON'T YOU?

I KNOW HOW...

DID I PROVOKE HIM?

YOU PROVOKED HIM,
YOU PROVOKED ME.

YOU PROVOKE ALL OF US
ALL DAY LONG!

I WAS SIMPLY
TALKING ABOUT THE ROLE.

[ Fainter ] THAT'S ALL
I'M INTERESTED IN.

I'M SIMPLY TRYING
TO PERFORM A ROLE.

YOU KNOW
HOW I PERFORM A ROLE.

WHAT?

YOU PROVOKE HIM,
YOU PROVOKE ME.

YOU PROVOKE ALL OF US
ALL DAY LONG!

[ YELLING CONTINUES,
VERY FAINT ]

I AM INTERESTED
IN THE PART.

YOU ARE BEHAVING
LIKE A CHILD!

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TRY NOT TO OFFEND
THE OLD WOMAN.

YOU BETTER DO MORE
THAN TRY, VITOL.

THIS PLAY HAS BECOME
VERY IMPORTANT TO ME,

MORE IMPORTANT
THAN YOUR FUTURE.

ANY OTHERS?

THAT'S EVERYTHING.

YOU MAY PASS.

WAIT!

THE ARTS MEDAL OF THE UCR.

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

"PRESENTED
TO COMRADE VITOL ENZOR."

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

MR. MORGAN
IS UNACCUSTOMED

TO BEING QUESTIONED
THIS WAY.

WELL, WE ARE NOT UNACCUSTOMED
TO DEALING WITH THIEVES.

YOU ARE MISTAKEN.

MR. ENZOR GAVE THIS MEDALLION
TO MR. MORGAN AS A MEMENTO.

WHY DID HE NOT DECLARE IT?
WHY WAS IT HIDDEN?

AMERICAN CUSTOMS.

WHY SHOULD MR. MORGAN
HAVE TO PAY IMPORT DUTY ON IT?

I'M SURE
YOU UNDERSTAND THAT.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL MR. ENZOR

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE
WHAT HE'S SAYING?

HAVE IT VERIFIED.

I'LL PAY FOR THE CALL.

CALL HIM
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

THERE IS NO NEED.

YOU MAY PASS.

I WAS SO FRIGHTENED
I ALMOST FORGOT.

IN THIS COUNTRY,

THERE IS ALWAYS ONE ACCEPTABLE
EXPLANATION IN SUCH MATTERS.

[ DOG BARKS, GROWLS ]

[ DOG GROWLS ]

ANTON,

WHY CAN'T YOU
BE REASONABLE?

I CANNOT WORK WITH HIM.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I HAVE HAD
A LONG TALK WITH HIM.

HE IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL.

THEN YOU MUST
BE THE PROFESSIONAL.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO HIM.

WHEN YOU WORK WITH A PIG,

HOW DO YOU NOT
PAY ATTENTION TO THE SMELL?

ACTORS.

CHILDREN.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S START AGAIN
FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF.

YOUR LINE, VITOL.

"I THINK, MR. PRESIDENT,

WE CAN STOP FENCING,"
ET CETERA.

I'M SURE WE DO.

WE WANT POWER,
TOTAL POWER.

Rollin: BUT THAT WE CANNOT
QUITE HAVE, NEITHER OF US.

NOT IN THIS ERA
OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

MR. PREMIER...

JUST A MOMENT.

INSTEAD OF WHAT
IS INDICATED HERE,

WHAT IF I WALK
AWAY FROM HIM

AFTER THAT LINE, AS IF --

AS IF I COULD SEE
THE IMPENDING HOLOCAUST?

AND WHILE YOU ARE
SEEING THIS, UH,

THIS VISION,

WHAT DO I DO,
PLAY TO YOUR BACK?

DON'T CHANGE
THE BLOCKING.

I AM ONLY THINKING

OF WHAT WOULD BE BEST
FOR THIS SCENE,

NOT THE EGO.

CUE, PLEASE.

NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

MR. PREMIER,

DO WE REALLY
HAVE A CHOICE?

ITS OWN SUPERIORITY

IS THE ONE THING
EACH NATION KNOWS.

IT NEED NOT BE PROVED.

APPARENTLY, IT MUST BE,

AND PROVED AGAIN
EVERY GENERATION,

TO THIS ONE, THE NEXT --

HOW, BY DESTROYING
THE WORLD?

I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG

YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE
STEPPING ON MY LINES.

I AM TRYING
TO CONTROL MYSELF,

BUT I AM OPERATING UNDER
A MOST DIFFICULT HANDICAP.

YES. LACK OF TALENT.

I WILL NOT STAND

FOR THIS CHEAP SNIDE BAITING
ANY LONGER.

LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

THERE'S NO REASON
FOR ALL THIS.

GENTLEMEN,
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.

MR. USAKOS, I KNOW
THAT IT'S DIFFICULT

FOR AN ACTOR
OF YOUR STATURE

TO BE DOING THE SMALLER ROLE
OF THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT.

WHAT?

A SMALLER PART?

YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY

TO KNOWINGLY CAST ME
IN A SMALLER PART THAN HIS?

AS STANISLAVSKY SAID,
THERE ARE NO SMALL PARTS,

ONLY SMALL ACTORS.

I WARNED YOU WHAT WOULD
HAPPEN IF YOU GOADED HIM.

HOW COULD I HELP IT?
HE'S A POMPOUS ASS.

BESIDES, HE'S TOTALLY
WRONG FOR THE PART.

YOU KNOW,
HE HAS A POINT.

THANK YOU
FOR YOUR OPINION.

WHO WOULD YOU SUGGEST
I GET TO REPLACE HIM?

JIM EVANSON,
THE AMERICAN ACTOR

WHO WAS GOING TO DO THE ROLE
IN NEW YORK.

HE'S PERFECT
FOR THE PRESIDENT.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S TRUE.

THE PART REALLY SHOULD
BE PLAYED BY AN AMERICAN.

AT LEAST GIVE JIM A CHANCE.
HE'S HERE.

HERE?

WHY?

HE'S MY HUSBAND.

THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE NEPOTISM,
BUT JIM'S REALLY A FINE ACTOR.

YOU KNOW THAT 'CAUSE
YOU'VE SEEN HIM YOURSELF.

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL TRY HIM.

BUT I PROMISE NOTHING.

I'LL BE WAITING
IN MY DRESSING ROOM.

IF HE MAKES TROUBLE
WITH EVANSON...

IT WILL BE THE LAST TROUBLE
HE EVER MAKES.

OKAY, LET'S TRY IT
ONCE, ROLLIN.

TAKE IT FROM HERE.

[ With accent ]
"NOT IN MY COUNTRY.

"AND IT COMFORTS ME TO KNOW

THERE IS NO PAPER
LIKE THIS TO COUNT."

Rollin's voice [ With accent ]
NOT IN MY COUNTRY.

BUT IT COMFORTS ME TO KNOW

IT IS SAFE
IN MY SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.

GOOD. TELL JIM TO KEEP
THE SAME PACE

AS WHEN WE MADE THIS TAPE,

NO MATTER
WHAT KURO DIRECTS HIM TO DO.

HOW FAR OUT OF SYNC
CAN WE BE?

THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH
ADJUSTMENT I CAN MAKE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE ME
ALL THE HELP YOU CAN.

[ DOG BARKS ]

MR. EVANSON,
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

MR. KURO,
THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR GIVING ME
THIS CHANCE.

I'M GLAD YOU COULD
BE WITH US.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE
VITOL ENZOR. JAMES EVANSON.

A PLEASURE.

GLAD TO MEET YOU, SIR.

WELL, SHALL WE
START RIGHT IN?

I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO
WORK WITH A SCRIPT.

JOAN TOLD ME THERE HAVE
BEEN SOME CHANGES.

Kuro:
OF COURSE, OF COURSE.

Rollin:
YOU CAN SIT HERE.

THANK YOU.

[ GROWLS ]

WHAT IS IT, BUJ?

[ GROWLING ]

[ BARKING ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ BARKING AND GROWLING ]

[ DOG BARKING AND GROWLING ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ BARKING ]

[ HIGH-PITCHED TONE SOUNDS ]

[ WHINING AND BARKING ]

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

[ TONE SOUNDS ]

[ PITCH DECREASES ]

Rollin: "SO AT LAST
I THINK WE HAVE FOUND

AN AREA IN WHICH
WE ARE IN ACCORD."

Phelps: "YES.

"WE'VE AGREED WE CAN'T HAVE
A WORLD WITHOUT WAR --

"APPARENTLY
NO ONE WANTS THAT --

"BUT WE CAN MAKE SURE
THAT THE WARS WE NEED

"TO ENSURE OUR OWN PROSPERITY
BE LITTLE WARS --

LITTLE AND INEXPENSIVE."

LIKE INSURANCE PREMIUMS

AGAINST
AN UNPROFITABLE ARMAGEDDON.

"VERY WELL PUT,
MR. PREMIER."

UH...YOU KNOW, I REALLY FEEL
THAT I COULD DO BETTER

IF I DIDN'T HAVE
THIS BOOK IN MY HAND.

I'M A VERY QUICK STUDY.

WOULD YOU MIND A SHORT BREAK?

NOT AT ALL.

YOU BOTH WORK SO WELL TOGETHER.
YOU'VE MADE MY WORK SIMPLE.

WE'LL MEET BACK HERE
IN ONE HOUR.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME.

AH. MISS VINCENT.
MR. ENZOR.

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME
MANY, MANY MEMORABLE HOURS

IN THE THEATER, SIR.

THANK YOU, YOUR EXCELLENCY.

AND YOU, MISS VINCENT,
I UNDERSTAND NOW

THAT YOU HAVE, UH, WRITTEN
A SMALL MASTERPIECE

IN WHICH I APPEAR
AS ONE OF THE CHARACTERS.

THANK YOU, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

I'M WORRIED THAT YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO LIKE MY PLAY.

NOT LIKE IT?

I ASSURE YOU, MISS VINCENT,
I'M NOT THIN-SKINNED.

I ENJOY SATIRE,
EVEN AT MY OWN EXPENSE.

BUT MY PLAY IS NOT
BEING PRODUCED AS I WROTE IT.

KURO HAS CHANGED
ITS ENTIRE MEANING.

WELL, I'M SURE
HE HAS HIS REASONS.

HE DOES.

I THINK HE MEANS TO DISCREDIT
YOU SO THAT HE CAN SEIZE POWER.

I HAVE KNOWN KURO
FOR 20 YEARS --

FOUGHT BESIDE HIM
AT THE WORST TIMES.

IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME
THAT HE WOULD BETRAY ME.

THEN, PLEASE, YOUR EXCELLENCY,
MAY I SUGGEST

THAT YOU COME TO THE THEATER
FOR AT LEAST ONE REHEARSAL?

HEAR THE PLAY FOR YOURSELF.

I WILL COME TO THE OPENING.

NO. YOU CAN'T WAIT
TILL THEN.

I MEAN, MR. PREMIER,

I AM BEING DIRECTED
TO PLAY YOU

AS A FOOL AND A FRAUD.

FORGIVE ME FOR BEING LATE,
MR. PREMIER.

I WAS UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.

I UNDERSTAND,

BUT WHEN ONE IS
WITH ONE'S ADVISORS,

ONE MUST KEEP TRACK
OF TIME.

MORE AND MORE SO
AS THE YEARS GO BY.

YET, JUST PRESSURES

CAN MAKE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES
BEARABLE.

THAT AND POWER.
AND MONEY.

I WOULD THINK
THAT EVEN IN YOUR COUNTRY

MONEY HAS
A CERTAIN VALUE.

NOT IN MY COUNTRY.

AND IT COMFORTS ME
TO KNOW

THAT THERE IS NO PAPER
LIKE THIS TO COUNT.

A DEFENSE FUND
IS STILL THE SAME THING?

ESPECIALLY
IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES.

AFTER ALL,

A LEADER'S FIRST DUTY
IS TO RESIST.

MR. PREMIER,
IF WE ARE EVER

GOING TO RESOLVE
OUR DIFFERENCES...

UH, YOU KNOW,

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
THIS CROSS THAT BOTHERS ME.

IT GOES AGAINST
THE NEW WORDS.

WELL, WHAT WOULD BE
MORE NATURAL?

WELL, I THINK
PERHAPS IF I, UM...

IF I CROSS TO HERE
JUST BEFORE HIS NEXT LINE...

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S TRY IT.

START AGAIN FROM YOUR
ENTRANCE, STAGE LEFT.

[ KNOCKS TWICE ]

FORGIVE ME FOR BEING LATE,
MR. PREMIER.

I WAS UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.

I UNDERSTAND.

WHEN ONE IS WITH
ONE'S MISTRESS,

ONE LOSES ALL TRACK OF TIME.

MORE AND MORE
AS THE YEARS GO ON.

BUT IT IS SUCH PLEASURES
THAT MAKES

OUR RESPONSIBILITIES
BEARABLE.

THAT AND POWER.
AND MONEY.

I WOULD THINK,
EVEN IN YOUR COUNTRY,

THAT MONEY WOULD HAVE A --

A CERTAIN VALUE.

NOT IN MY COUNTRY,

BUT IT COMFORTS ME
TO KNOW

IT IS SAFE
IN MY SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.

[ BOTH CHUCKLING ]

YES,
A LITTLE RETIREMENT FUND

IS A GOOD THING.

ESPECIALLY
IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES.

AFTER ALL,

A LEADER'S FIRST DUTY
IS TO HIMSELF.

STOP!

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!

YOU ACTUALLY INTEND
TO PRESENT

THIS OBSCENITY
TO OUR PEOPLE?

PORTRAYING ME AS A --
AS A LECHER,

AS A THIEVING --
AS A --

UH, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, SIR?

OF COURSE NOT.

LOOK. READ FOR YOURSELF.

BUT THIS ISN'T THE PLAY.

YOUR EXCELLENCY, THIS IS NOT
THE PLAY WE WERE DOING.

THIS -- THIS IS, UM, PERJURY.

YOU HEARD YOURSELF
THE LINES THAT WERE SPOKEN.

YOU HAVE THE EVIDENCE
OF YOUR OWN EARS.

YES.

I HAVE EXCELLENT HEARING --
ALSO AN EXCELLENT MEMORY.

DID YOU NOT HAVE MR. ENZOR,
WHO IS ME,

SAY THAT HE HAD A --
A MISTRESS,

THAT HE HAD A FUND OF STOLEN
MONEY IN A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT,

AND THAT HIS FIRST DUTY
IS TO HIMSELF?

BUT, N-NO ONE SAID THIS,
YOUR EXCELLENCY.

IT ISN'T --
I-IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I -- I -- I NEVER SAW
OR HEARD A WORD BEFORE!

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO
WITH THIS!

THIS ISN'T THE PLAY!

THERE'S A MISTAKE
OF SOME KIND!

I APPEAL TO YOU!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]