Mission: Impossible (1966–1973): Season 1, Episode 23 - Action! - full transcript
Miklos Klaar runs a movie studio in the Communist Bloc. He is preparing a film, combining documentary footage with scenes he has shot on a sound stage, to make it appear U.S. troops have committed an atrocity. The Impossible Missions Force -- minus Dan Briggs, who is absent this episode -- runs a typically complicated operation. First, the IMF will ruin Klaar's existing film and negative, forcing him to do a re-shoot. Next, the IMF's plan calls for publicly ruining Klaar just as he's at his moment of triumph.
[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]
GOOD MORNING.
IS IT POSSIBLE TO MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT WITH RITA?
I'M SORRY,
WE DON'T HAVE ANYONE HERE
BY THE NAME OF RITA.
OH. IN THAT CASE,
IS OLGA FREE?
THIS WAY, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
Man: GOOD MORNING, MISS CARTER.
THIS IS MIKLOS KLAAR,
THE HEAD OF CINEFOT STUDIOS,
ONE OF THE LARGEST
BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN.
KLAAR HAS POLITICAL AMBITIONS,
AND TO FURTHER THEM,
HAS TURNED CAPTURED
AMERICAN NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
INTO AN ATROCITY FILM,
PORTRAYING OUR SOLDIERS
AS WANTON MURDERERS.
HE'S PLANNING TO SHOW THIS
TO REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE WORLD PRESS.
IF THIS FILM IS SHOWN,
IT WILL SERIOUSLY DAMAGE
THE UNITED STATES
AND OUR FUTURE PEACE TALKS.
THE MISSION,
SHOULD IT BE ACCEPTED,
WOULD BE TO STOP KLAAR,
AND IN SUCH A WAY
THAT HE CAN NEVER REPEAT
THIS TECHNIQUE.
AS ALWAYS, SHOULD ANY
OF THE I.M. FORCE
BE CAUGHT OR KILLED,
THE SECRETARY WILL DISAVOW
ANY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR ACTIONS.
THIS TAPE RECORDING
WILL DECOMPOSE IMMEDIATELY.
GOOD LUCK.
[ PROJECTOR ROLLING ]
TORVALD, YOU ARE NOT THE MAN
THAT I MARRIED.
WHEN YOUR FEAR LEFT YOU,
YOU WERE NOT AFRAID FOR ME,
BUT FOR YOURSELF.
AFTER IT WAS OVER,
AS FAR AS YOU
WERE CONCERNED, IT WAS --
Cinnamon: OH.
YOU WERE FINE.
FINE? YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
CUT OFF SARAH BERNHARDT.
Rollin: MOST OF THE LOT
IS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER
MOTION PICTURE STUDIO --
SECURITY JUST GOOD ENOUGH
TO KEEP OUT UNINVITED TOURISTS.
BUT HERE,
WHERE KLAAR'S OFFICE,
SOUNDSTAGE,
AND FILM VAULT ARE,
IS STRICTLY OFF-LIMITS
AND VERY, VERY WELL-GUARDED.
HOW DOES BARNEY GET
INTO KLAAR'S FILM VAULT
ON THE THIRD FLOOR?
I CAN'T,
BUT I WON'T HAVE TO.
IT'LL BE EASY
FOR ME TO LEARN
HOW FAR UP THE WATER
PIPES RUN VERTICALLY
BECAUSE THE PLUMBER'S SNAKE
HITS THE TOP.
HOW DO YOU MEASURE
THE HORIZONTAL DISTANCE
TO THE SPRINKLERS?
CINNAMON WILL GET THAT
FOR ME.
SHE HAS
A SPECIALLY TAILORED SKIRT
THAT PERMITS HER
TO TAKE A STRIDE
EXACTLY 30 INCHES LONG.
CINNAMON, YOU SEE
HOW THIS GOES ON?
DOES IT COME OFF
AS EASILY?
DON'T PAD YOUR PART.
GETTING IT OFF IS MY JOB.
IF WE DESTROY KLAAR'S FILM,
WON'T HE JUST MAKE IT AGAIN?
THAT'S JUST WHAT
WE WANT HIM TO DO.
DAVID, ARE YOU READY?
SURE.
SOMEBODY SAY "ACTION."
Rollin: ACTION.
TARGET SIX.
WHAT IS IT, CORPORAL?
THIS MAN HAS A FILE CABINET
FOR THE BUILDING,
BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE
A PASS.
EVERYONE WHO WORKS
ON A MOTION-PICTURE LOT
MAKES A PRODUCTION
ABOUT EVERYTHING.
THIS IS NOT
AN ATOMIC PLANT, CORPORAL.
WAIT.
LET THE MAN IN!
CLEAR UP YOUR PAPERWORK
LATER IN THE DAY.
CAPTAIN PETYOV
OF THE MINISTRY OF PROPAGANDA
TO SEE MIKLOS KLAAR.
A CAPTAIN PETYOV
TO SEE MR. KLAAR.
ALL RIGHT.
GO AHEAD, SIR.
THANK YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
SECOND FLOOR.
ALL RIGHT, BUT NO FURTHER.
IT'S OFF-LIMITS.
YES, SIR?
CAPTAIN PETYOV?
YES.
WRONG SIZE.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
AH.
CAPTAIN PETYOV,
I AM MIKLOS KLAAR.
WELCOME TO CINEFOT STUDIOS.
COME IN, COME IN.
THANK YOU.
HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
WELL [LAUGHS]
IT'S AN OLD STORY.
OUR PLANES ARE SLOW,
BUT ALSO UNCOMFORTABLE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I'VE HEARD A GREAT DEAL
ABOUT YOU.
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
OUR MINISTRY HAS ARRANGED
FOR A SCREENING
FOR THE REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE WORLD PRESS
OF YOUR FILM
AT THE SWISS LEGATION
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
GOOD. EXCELLENT.
I UNDERSTAND
THIS BRILLIANT PROJECT
IS ENTIRELY YOUR CREATION.
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
PLEASE, SIT, SIT.
THANK YOU.
I UNDERSTAND
THE BASIC ELEMENTS
AND IDEAS OF THIS PROJECT.
HOWEVER, I WOULD BE
VERY APPRECIATIVE
IF YOU WOULD FILL ME IN
ON SOME OF THE DETAILS.
AH, DETAILS.
IT'S WHAT MAKES
AN IDEA WORK.
REALIZE, I MUST HAVE
LOOKED AT 100,000 FEET
OF CAPTURED AMERICAN
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
JUST TO SELECT
THIS ONE SMALL PIECE.
AMERICAN FILM STOCK,
IDENTIFIABLE AS SUCH,
SHOT WITH AN AMERICAN CAMERA
BY A PHOTOGRAPHER
WITH THE AMERICAN ARMY.
THE PHOTOGRAPHER
IS NOW DEAD.
KILLED IN ACTION?
MY PIECE OF FILM WAS ALSO SHOT
ON AMERICAN STOCK
WITH AN AMERICAN CAMERA,
BUT IT WAS SHOT HERE
ON A JUNGLE SET.
SPLICE THE TWO TOGETHER,
AND THE ONE-MINUTE FILM
WILL SHOW THE WORLD
WHAT GANGSTERS
THE AMERICANS REALLY ARE.
SHOT ON A SET?
SPLICED TOGETHER?
HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY LOOK LIKE
THE SAME PIECE OF FILM?
THAT IS WHAT MAKES DETAIL...
SO IMPORTANT.
[ LATCHES CLICKING ]
THIS IS THE CAPTURED
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE.
ALL DOCUMENTARY
FILM FOOTAGE, RIGHT?
YES.
WRONG.
YOU NOTICED THE BLACK FRAME
WHERE THE FIFTH SOLDIER
PASSED VERY CLOSE
TO THE CAMERA?
YES.
THAT IS WHERE
I MADE THE SPLICE.
FROM THERE ON IS MY FILM.
THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE.
WATCH.
I WILL BACK UP
AND SHOW IT TO YOU AGAIN.
THIS IS THE SPOT
WHERE HE BLOCKS OUT THE CAMERA.
WATCH THE TERRAIN,
THE FOLIAGE,
THE SMALLEST EFFECTS,
THE GRAININESS OF THE FILM --
DETAIL, DETAIL.
WATCH, WATCH.
YOU SEE?
YOU SEE?
WELL, MY FRIEND,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT IS BRILLIANT.
THANK YOU.
TOTALLY INCRIMINATING.
THEN I HAVE YOUR APPROVAL?
HMM.
I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE IT AGAIN
BEFORE I GIVE MY APPROVAL.
CERTAINLY.
OH!
OH, MY GLASSES!
OH.
WHAT ROTTEN LUCK.
BUT YOU HAVE ANOTHER PAIR?
NO, I HAVE A PRESCRIPTION.
BUT IT WOULD TAKE A FULL DAY
TO HAVE IT FILLED.
OH, I WILL SEE THAT FILM
AGAIN TOMORROW MORNING.
TOMORROW? WELL, UH, PERHAPS
IF YOU STOOD EXTRA CLOSE...
NO, I CANNOT GIVE
MY APPROVAL TO A FILM
I HAVE ONLY SEEN
ONCE CLEARLY.
TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE.
OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND.
[ INTERCOM BUZZES ]
YES?
Man: Sir, the gate called.
An extra named Mikeli
hasn't checked off the lot yet.
YOU'RE SURE IT IS NOT
AN INTERVIEW
WITH A PRODUCER
OR A DIRECTOR?
ALL THE PRODUCERS
AND DIRECTORS
have left, sir.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
[ TAPPING ]
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
NO, NO.
DON'T.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHAT'S THIS?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
ARE YOU MR. KLAAR?
YOU ARE THE EXTRA WHO DID NOT
CHECK OFF THE LOT.
TINA MIKELI.
HOW DID YOU
GET PAST THE GUARD?
WHAT IS THIS FILM
YOU ARE STEALING?
I AM NOT A THIEF,
MR. KLAAR. THIS IS --
DON'T MOVE!
THAT IS MY FILM,
NOT YOUR FILM.
IT'S FILM OF YOU.
I WAS TRYING
TO PUT IT ON YOUR DESK.
YOU COULD NOT HAVE
PUT IT IN THE MAIL?
OF COURSE I COULD HAVE,
AND YOUR SECRETARY
WOULD HAVE RETURNED IT
TO ME UNOPENED.
OR WORSE, SHE WOULD HAVE
LOOKED AT IT
AND TOLD YOU
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
BUT IT IS NOT.
IT IS A GOOD FILM, MR. KLAAR.
I AM GOOD.
A FINE PRODUCER
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME.
YOU, UH, HAVE NO LACK
OF EGO, MISS MIKELI.
PLEASE, MR. KLAAR,
IF THIS FILM IS NOT
AS GOOD AS I SAY IT IS,
I SWEAR, I WILL NEVER
TROUBLE YOU AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT.
COME.
OFF-LIMITS GATE.
THE MISSING EXTRA,
MISS MIKELI --
SHE IS WITH ME.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
Man: Yes, sir, Mr. Klaar.
Thank you.
IT IS NORA'S SPEECH
FROM THE THIRD ACT
OF "A DOLL'S HOUSE."
IT IS THE PART
WHERE SHE --
I, UH, KNOW THE SPEECH.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
COME.
TORVALD, YOU ARE NOT THE MAN
THAT I MARRIED.
WHEN YOUR FEAR LEFT YOU,
YOU WERE NOT AFRAID FOR ME,
BUT FOR YOURSELF.
AFTER IT WAS OVER,
AS FAR AS YOU WERE CONCERNED,
IT WAS EXACTLY AS IF
NOTHING AT ALL HAD HAPPENED.
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
EXACTLY AS BEFORE,
I WAS AGAIN YOUR LITTLE DOLL.
AND NOW YOU TREAT ME
WITH DOUBLY GENTLE CARE
BECAUSE I WAS SO DELICATE
AND FRAGILE.
[ METAL SQUEALS ]
TORVALD...
IT WAS THEN
THAT IT DAWNED UPON ME
THAT I HAVE BEEN LIVING
HERE IN THIS HOUSE
WITH A STRANGER
FOR EIGHT YEARS.
YOU ARE QUITE, UH,
QUITE GOOD.
WELL, THANK YOU
SO VERY MUCH, MR. KLAAR.
I WILL LOOK AT IT AGAIN
IN A DAY OR TWO
IN THE PROJECTION ROOM.
THEN PERHAPS I CAN, UH,
PERHAPS I CAN FIND
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, MR. KLAAR.
AND I DO SO MUCH
WANT TO APOLOGIZE
FOR THE WAY I CAME IN HERE.
IT WAS RUDE, IT WAS WRONG,
BUT I -- I'M SORRY.
FORGET IT.
COME, NOW.
I WILL SHOW YOU
OUT THE GATES,
AND PERHAPS I CAN, UH,
CALL YOU IN A FEW DAYS,
MISS MIKELI --
SOCIALLY.
YES, OF COURSE, MR. KLAAR.
[ METAL SCRAPING ]
[ SCRAPING CONTINUES ]
[ HISSING ]
[ WATER RUSHES ]
Klaar: YOU WILL REMEMBER
AT THE BEGINNING
OF THE FILM --
PLEASE, COULD YOU SHOW IT
TO ME FROM THE SPLICE --
THE BLACK FRAME
YOU TOLD ME ABOUT?
CERTAINLY.
UNDERSTAND, TO THE EYE,
BLACK IS BLACK.
MARVELOUS.
TRULY MARVELOUS.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THOSE ARE
THE EXACT WORDS I WILL USE
WHEN I GIVE MY REPORT
TO THE MINISTRY.
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
THANK YOU.
WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT?
COULD THIS BE HAPPENING?
NO, NO.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING?
I DIDN'T TOUCH YOUR MACHINE
UNTIL JUST NOW.
I NOTICED IT.
I'M SORRY, BUT THE FILM
HAS BEEN SPLITTING
AS IT COMES OUT.
PERHAPS THERE IS A BUG.
PERHAPS.
YOU HAVE ANOTHER PRINT, YES?
NO, ONLY ONE WAS MADE
FOR SECURITY REASONS,
BUT IT'S EASY TO MAKE
ANOTHER PRINT.
THE NEGATIVE IS NEXT DOOR
IN THE VAULT.
GOOD. GOOD.
LOOK AT IT!
LOOK AT IT!
RUINED!
EVERYTHING RUINED!
PRECIOUS FILM!
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!
FIND OUT AND LET ME KNOW
IMMEDIATELY!
YES, SIR.
DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME.
DO SOMETHING.
I WILL. OF COURSE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?
I STILL HAVE
THE NEWSREEL FOOTAGE.
I STILL HAVE THE SET.
I STILL HAVE A DAY.
THE ATROCITY PART --
I WILL SHOOT IT AGAIN.
[ HAMMER POUNDING ]
GOOD MORNING, ERIC.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
THIS IS CAPTAIN PETYOV.
HOW DO YOU DO, CAPTAIN?
ERIC IS MY ASSISTANT.
EVERYTHING READY?
YES, MR. KLAAR.
WE'RE ALMOST READY.
GOOD. I WANT TO CHECK
THE FOLIAGE.
RIGHT, SIR.
[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]
HIT THE BACKING.
[ BUZZER SOUNDS ]
OKAY, LET'S TEST IT.
[ GUNSHOTS ]
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
CAPTAIN?
YOU MEAN, THIS WILL LOOK LIKE
WHAT I SAW IN THE FILM, HMM?
Klaar: IT IS WHAT YOU SAW.
STANDING HERE,
YOU CAN SEE THE EQUIPMENT,
THE STAGE WALLS.
THE VIEWER WILL NOT.
IT JUST NEEDS TO BE DRESSED.
I UNDERSTAND.
YOU.
YOU, THERE, WITH THE CART.
WHAT IN THE NAME
OF HEAVEN IS THIS?
THESE ARE THE DEAD BODIES
YOU ASKED FOR, SIR.
I ASK FOR DEAD BODIES.
SOMEONE DECIDES
TO SAVE ME MONEY.
DUMMIES COST NOTHING.
EXTRAS COST ONLY
PRACTICALLY NOTHING.
OF COURSE, THE PICTURE
IS RUINED, BUT WHAT OF THAT?
GET THESE THINGS
OUT OF HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
AS SOON AS EVERYONE IS READY,
I WANT A FULL REHEARSAL.
Man: YES, SIR.
Eric: ALL RIGHT, MEN,
INTO PLACES.
YOU EXPLAIN TO THEM TO DO
EXACTLY THE SAME THING
AS THEY DID THE LAST TIME.
YES, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, MEN,
AS YOU WERE BEFORE.
PUT A DOUBLE ON THAT!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
AND GIVE ME
A SINGLE UP HERE.
YOU, FRESHEN UP
THIS FOLIAGE.
HUGO, THIS WILL BE
EXACTLY THE SAME THING
AS WE SHOT THE LAST TIME.
CAPTAIN.
Man: FIRE ON THE SET!
Man: THE BUCKET.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
THAT WAS EXTREMELY
CARELESS, CAPTAIN.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME --
I WAS SO FASCINATED,
I MUST HAVE DROPPED
A MATCH WITHOUT LOOKING.
FORGIVE ME.
Klaar:
MY AMERICANS, PLEASE.
ALL RIGHT, MEN.
OVER HERE.
NOW, EVERYONE WATCH THIS
VERY CLOSELY.
THIS IS TO REFRESH
YOUR MEMORIES
OF WHAT WE DID LAST TIME.
NOW, THIS IS THE POINT
WHERE YOU BLOCK OUT THE LENS
AND OUR FILM BEGINS,
REMEMBER?
VERY WELL, ONE REHEARSAL,
THEN I WOULD LIKE
TO TRY A TAKE.
Man: YES, SIR.
NOW, REMEMBER, YOU MUST
HIT YOUR MARKS EXACTLY.
YOU BLOCK OUT THE LENS,
THEN CONTINUE ON
WITHOUT TURNING YOUR BACK.
I DO NOT WANT TO SEE
YOUR FACE IN CLOSE-UP YET.
Eric: ALL RIGHT, MEN,
INTO PLACES.
BRING IN THE WOUNDED.
Man: SPECIAL EFFECTS GUN,
PLEASE.
READY, HUGO?
QUIET.
ACTION!
[ IMITATING MACHINE GUNFIRE ]
CUT, CUT, CUT!
WHEN YOU COME IN, YOU MUST
HAVE YOUR HEADS LOWER --
MORE OF A CROUCH.
MORE, MORE, MORE PLEADING.
MORE FEAR. THANK YOU.
SPECIAL EFFECTS READY?
Man: YES, SIR.
THEN THIS WILL BE PICTURE.
PLACES, EVERYONE.
QUIET.
[ BELL RINGS ]
ROLL IT.
Klaar:
YOU HAVE SPEED, HUGO?
SPEED.
THEN ACTION!
Man: NO, NO, NO, NO.
Man #2: NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO.
AAH!
CUT.
[ BELL RINGS ]
PRINT IT
AND GET ME A MESSENGER.
YES, SIR.
EXCELLENT.
EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
THANK YOU. YOU DIED BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
IT WAS EXCELLENT. EXCELLENT.
THE BEST ONE YET.
BEAUTIFUL, NO?
[ CHUCKLES ]
NOW, LISTEN CAREFULLY.
TAKE THIS FILM
AND RUSH -- I REPEAT --
RUSH IT TO THE LAB
AND WAIT THERE.
WAIT UNTIL IT IS DEVELOPED,
THEN BRING IT TO ME
IN MY OFFICE --
TO ME AND NO ONE ELSE.
[ HAMMER POUNDING ]
YES, WE CAN CONGRATULATE
OURSELVES, PETYOV.
HAVING TO RESHOOT THE FILM
WAS A STROKE OF LUCK.
IT WILL BE EVEN BETTER
THAN THE FIRST TIME.
THIS EVENING,
IF I MAY SAY SO,
WILL BE A RICHLY DESERVED
TRIUMPH.
YES, EVEN MORE THAN THAT.
TO THIS EVENING.
THIS EVENING, MY FRIEND.
[ MUFFLED THUMP ]
I KNOW.
I KNOW JUST AS SURE
AS I AM SITTING HERE,
SOMEONE IS OUT TO GET ME.
THERE IS A PLOT.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
THE MOTION-PICTURE BUSINESS.
SUCH JEALOUSY.
YOU REALLY THINK SO, HMM?
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
THAT WILL BE THE MESSENGER
WITH THE FILM.
[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]
SIR, THIS MAN WAS FOUND
IN THE BASEMENT.
HE HAS NO PASS.
WELL, NOW.
Klaar: NOW YOU SEE, PETYOV?
YOU SEE?
WHO ARE YOU?
MORE IMPORTANT, WHAT STUDIO
ARE YOU WORKING FOR?
WHO SENT YOU?
BERNARDIAN AT MAGDA?
CHAPNISS? VACHECK?
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE?
WELL, SPEAK.
MIKLOS,
YOU'RE BEING FOOLISH.
THERE MAY BE MORE TO THIS
THAN YOU THINK,
PERHAPS EVEN ESPIONAGE.
YES, LET ME TAKE
THIS FELLOW DOWN
TO N.V.D. HEADQUARTERS
AND SWEAT HIM A BIT.
WE'LL GET
TO THE TRUTH. COME.
SIR. I HAVE THE FILM, SIR.
GOOD, THANK YOU.
SOLDIER,
TAKE THIS MAN ALONG --
NO, NO, NO, PETYOV.
THEY CAN TAKE HIM
TO N.V.D. THEMSELVES.
I AM TAKING NO CHANCES.
I AM PUTTING THIS FILM
IN MY POCKET,
AND YOU AND I
ARE PERSONALLY
GOING TO ESCORT IT
TO THE SWISS LEGATION.
BUT I THINK I SHOULD --
NO, CAPTAIN, I MUST
ABSOLUTELY INSIST.
YOU TWO, TAKE HIM OUT.
YOU OTHER TWO,
COME WITH US.
BECAUSE NOT ONLY DO I WANT
TO SEE THESE FILMS
SAFELY IN THE LEGATION,
I AM PERSONALLY GOING TO
HAND IT TO THE PROJECTIONIST,
AND YOU AND I
ARE GOING TO WATCH IT
BEING THREADED
INTO THE MACHINE.
I SWEAR, NOTHING IS GOING
TO HAPPEN TO THIS FILM.
NOTHING.
FINE.
NOW DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING.
DO NOT DO ANYTHING EXCEPT
HIT THE SWITCH WHEN I TELL YOU.
NO ONE COMES IN. NO ONE.
YOU, OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
YOU, INSIDE.
COME, CAPTAIN,
OUR CURTAIN IS GOING UP.
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME. WELCOME.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM MIKLOS KLAAR.
THIS IS MY FRIEND
CAPTAIN PETYOV.
HOW DO YOU DO?
NICE TO SEE YOU.
SOKOLOFF,
COORDINATED NEWS.
OH, YES,
HOW GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GEORGE BENGST,
INTERNATIONAL WIRE SERVICE.
A PLEASURE, MR. BENGST.
MAY I INTRODUCE
KLAUS HANSEN, WORLD PRESS?
MR. HANSEN,
I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU.
I AM DELIGHTED
TO SEE YOU ALL
FOR YOU ARE GOING TO SEE
FOR YOURSELVES, GENTLEMEN,
HOW THE AMERICANS,
WHO PROFESS TO ADHERE
TO THE GENEVA CONVENTION,
HAVE BEEN VIOLATING IT,
AS WE, WHO KNOW BETTER,
HAVE CLAIMED ALL ALONG.
THE FILM YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE
WAS SHOT
BY AN AMERICAN CAMERAMAN,
EXACTLY AS YOU WILL SEE IT,
WHILE HE WAS
ON A NEWS-GATHERING ASSIGNMENT
WITH AN AMERICAN COMBAT PATROL
IN THE WAR ZONE
NEAR THE VILLAGE OF QUON DOC.
ONCE YOU HAVE SEEN THE FILM,
I WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO ANSWER
ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS.
SHALL WE?
WHENEVER YOU ARE READY.
[ FAINT ARTILLERY FIRE ]
[ ARTILLERY FIRE CONTINUES ]
Man: NO, NO, NO, NO.
Man #2: NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO.
AAH!
[ GUNFIRE ]
[ AUDIENCE MURMURING ]
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
[ FAINT THUMPING ]
THAT IS THE MOST CALLOUS
AND BRUTAL THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
Man: IT'S HORRIBLE.
Man #2: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT,
BUT IT'S THERE.
[ ARTILLERY EXPLODES ]
Man: THAT'S --
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
THERE IS ONE THING
I WANT TO ASK,
AND THAT IS
WHY THE AMERICANS...
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Man: WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT? OH.
Klaar: CUE MY AMERICANS.
[ IMITATING MACHINE GUNFIRE ]
PROJECTIONIST.
PROJECTIONIST.
CUT, CUT, CUT!
WHEN YOU COME IN, YOU MUST
HAVE YOUR HEADS LOWER --
MORE OF A CROUCH,
AND MORE, MORE, MORE PLEADING.
Man: WELL,
THIS WAS JUST A HOAX.
AND THIS WILL BE PICTURE.
PLACES, EVERYONE.
Man: GENTLEMEN, YOU ARE
SEEING A HOMEMADE MOVIE.
[ AUDIENCE MURMURING ]
Man: MR. KLAAR!
Man: YOU MUST THINK
WE'RE FOOLS.
Man #2: MR. KLAAR, I THOUGHT
WE COULD ASK QUESTIONS.
WHERE AND WHEN
WAS THIS SHOT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]
[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]
PLAYS ]
GOOD MORNING.
IS IT POSSIBLE TO MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT WITH RITA?
I'M SORRY,
WE DON'T HAVE ANYONE HERE
BY THE NAME OF RITA.
OH. IN THAT CASE,
IS OLGA FREE?
THIS WAY, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
Man: GOOD MORNING, MISS CARTER.
THIS IS MIKLOS KLAAR,
THE HEAD OF CINEFOT STUDIOS,
ONE OF THE LARGEST
BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN.
KLAAR HAS POLITICAL AMBITIONS,
AND TO FURTHER THEM,
HAS TURNED CAPTURED
AMERICAN NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
INTO AN ATROCITY FILM,
PORTRAYING OUR SOLDIERS
AS WANTON MURDERERS.
HE'S PLANNING TO SHOW THIS
TO REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE WORLD PRESS.
IF THIS FILM IS SHOWN,
IT WILL SERIOUSLY DAMAGE
THE UNITED STATES
AND OUR FUTURE PEACE TALKS.
THE MISSION,
SHOULD IT BE ACCEPTED,
WOULD BE TO STOP KLAAR,
AND IN SUCH A WAY
THAT HE CAN NEVER REPEAT
THIS TECHNIQUE.
AS ALWAYS, SHOULD ANY
OF THE I.M. FORCE
BE CAUGHT OR KILLED,
THE SECRETARY WILL DISAVOW
ANY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR ACTIONS.
THIS TAPE RECORDING
WILL DECOMPOSE IMMEDIATELY.
GOOD LUCK.
[ PROJECTOR ROLLING ]
TORVALD, YOU ARE NOT THE MAN
THAT I MARRIED.
WHEN YOUR FEAR LEFT YOU,
YOU WERE NOT AFRAID FOR ME,
BUT FOR YOURSELF.
AFTER IT WAS OVER,
AS FAR AS YOU
WERE CONCERNED, IT WAS --
Cinnamon: OH.
YOU WERE FINE.
FINE? YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
CUT OFF SARAH BERNHARDT.
Rollin: MOST OF THE LOT
IS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER
MOTION PICTURE STUDIO --
SECURITY JUST GOOD ENOUGH
TO KEEP OUT UNINVITED TOURISTS.
BUT HERE,
WHERE KLAAR'S OFFICE,
SOUNDSTAGE,
AND FILM VAULT ARE,
IS STRICTLY OFF-LIMITS
AND VERY, VERY WELL-GUARDED.
HOW DOES BARNEY GET
INTO KLAAR'S FILM VAULT
ON THE THIRD FLOOR?
I CAN'T,
BUT I WON'T HAVE TO.
IT'LL BE EASY
FOR ME TO LEARN
HOW FAR UP THE WATER
PIPES RUN VERTICALLY
BECAUSE THE PLUMBER'S SNAKE
HITS THE TOP.
HOW DO YOU MEASURE
THE HORIZONTAL DISTANCE
TO THE SPRINKLERS?
CINNAMON WILL GET THAT
FOR ME.
SHE HAS
A SPECIALLY TAILORED SKIRT
THAT PERMITS HER
TO TAKE A STRIDE
EXACTLY 30 INCHES LONG.
CINNAMON, YOU SEE
HOW THIS GOES ON?
DOES IT COME OFF
AS EASILY?
DON'T PAD YOUR PART.
GETTING IT OFF IS MY JOB.
IF WE DESTROY KLAAR'S FILM,
WON'T HE JUST MAKE IT AGAIN?
THAT'S JUST WHAT
WE WANT HIM TO DO.
DAVID, ARE YOU READY?
SURE.
SOMEBODY SAY "ACTION."
Rollin: ACTION.
TARGET SIX.
WHAT IS IT, CORPORAL?
THIS MAN HAS A FILE CABINET
FOR THE BUILDING,
BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE
A PASS.
EVERYONE WHO WORKS
ON A MOTION-PICTURE LOT
MAKES A PRODUCTION
ABOUT EVERYTHING.
THIS IS NOT
AN ATOMIC PLANT, CORPORAL.
WAIT.
LET THE MAN IN!
CLEAR UP YOUR PAPERWORK
LATER IN THE DAY.
CAPTAIN PETYOV
OF THE MINISTRY OF PROPAGANDA
TO SEE MIKLOS KLAAR.
A CAPTAIN PETYOV
TO SEE MR. KLAAR.
ALL RIGHT.
GO AHEAD, SIR.
THANK YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
SECOND FLOOR.
ALL RIGHT, BUT NO FURTHER.
IT'S OFF-LIMITS.
YES, SIR?
CAPTAIN PETYOV?
YES.
WRONG SIZE.
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
AH.
CAPTAIN PETYOV,
I AM MIKLOS KLAAR.
WELCOME TO CINEFOT STUDIOS.
COME IN, COME IN.
THANK YOU.
HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
WELL [LAUGHS]
IT'S AN OLD STORY.
OUR PLANES ARE SLOW,
BUT ALSO UNCOMFORTABLE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I'VE HEARD A GREAT DEAL
ABOUT YOU.
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
OUR MINISTRY HAS ARRANGED
FOR A SCREENING
FOR THE REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE WORLD PRESS
OF YOUR FILM
AT THE SWISS LEGATION
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
GOOD. EXCELLENT.
I UNDERSTAND
THIS BRILLIANT PROJECT
IS ENTIRELY YOUR CREATION.
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
PLEASE, SIT, SIT.
THANK YOU.
I UNDERSTAND
THE BASIC ELEMENTS
AND IDEAS OF THIS PROJECT.
HOWEVER, I WOULD BE
VERY APPRECIATIVE
IF YOU WOULD FILL ME IN
ON SOME OF THE DETAILS.
AH, DETAILS.
IT'S WHAT MAKES
AN IDEA WORK.
REALIZE, I MUST HAVE
LOOKED AT 100,000 FEET
OF CAPTURED AMERICAN
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
JUST TO SELECT
THIS ONE SMALL PIECE.
AMERICAN FILM STOCK,
IDENTIFIABLE AS SUCH,
SHOT WITH AN AMERICAN CAMERA
BY A PHOTOGRAPHER
WITH THE AMERICAN ARMY.
THE PHOTOGRAPHER
IS NOW DEAD.
KILLED IN ACTION?
MY PIECE OF FILM WAS ALSO SHOT
ON AMERICAN STOCK
WITH AN AMERICAN CAMERA,
BUT IT WAS SHOT HERE
ON A JUNGLE SET.
SPLICE THE TWO TOGETHER,
AND THE ONE-MINUTE FILM
WILL SHOW THE WORLD
WHAT GANGSTERS
THE AMERICANS REALLY ARE.
SHOT ON A SET?
SPLICED TOGETHER?
HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY LOOK LIKE
THE SAME PIECE OF FILM?
THAT IS WHAT MAKES DETAIL...
SO IMPORTANT.
[ LATCHES CLICKING ]
THIS IS THE CAPTURED
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE.
ALL DOCUMENTARY
FILM FOOTAGE, RIGHT?
YES.
WRONG.
YOU NOTICED THE BLACK FRAME
WHERE THE FIFTH SOLDIER
PASSED VERY CLOSE
TO THE CAMERA?
YES.
THAT IS WHERE
I MADE THE SPLICE.
FROM THERE ON IS MY FILM.
THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE.
WATCH.
I WILL BACK UP
AND SHOW IT TO YOU AGAIN.
THIS IS THE SPOT
WHERE HE BLOCKS OUT THE CAMERA.
WATCH THE TERRAIN,
THE FOLIAGE,
THE SMALLEST EFFECTS,
THE GRAININESS OF THE FILM --
DETAIL, DETAIL.
WATCH, WATCH.
YOU SEE?
YOU SEE?
WELL, MY FRIEND,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT IS BRILLIANT.
THANK YOU.
TOTALLY INCRIMINATING.
THEN I HAVE YOUR APPROVAL?
HMM.
I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE IT AGAIN
BEFORE I GIVE MY APPROVAL.
CERTAINLY.
OH!
OH, MY GLASSES!
OH.
WHAT ROTTEN LUCK.
BUT YOU HAVE ANOTHER PAIR?
NO, I HAVE A PRESCRIPTION.
BUT IT WOULD TAKE A FULL DAY
TO HAVE IT FILLED.
OH, I WILL SEE THAT FILM
AGAIN TOMORROW MORNING.
TOMORROW? WELL, UH, PERHAPS
IF YOU STOOD EXTRA CLOSE...
NO, I CANNOT GIVE
MY APPROVAL TO A FILM
I HAVE ONLY SEEN
ONCE CLEARLY.
TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE.
OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND.
[ INTERCOM BUZZES ]
YES?
Man: Sir, the gate called.
An extra named Mikeli
hasn't checked off the lot yet.
YOU'RE SURE IT IS NOT
AN INTERVIEW
WITH A PRODUCER
OR A DIRECTOR?
ALL THE PRODUCERS
AND DIRECTORS
have left, sir.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
[ TAPPING ]
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
NO, NO.
DON'T.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHAT'S THIS?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
ARE YOU MR. KLAAR?
YOU ARE THE EXTRA WHO DID NOT
CHECK OFF THE LOT.
TINA MIKELI.
HOW DID YOU
GET PAST THE GUARD?
WHAT IS THIS FILM
YOU ARE STEALING?
I AM NOT A THIEF,
MR. KLAAR. THIS IS --
DON'T MOVE!
THAT IS MY FILM,
NOT YOUR FILM.
IT'S FILM OF YOU.
I WAS TRYING
TO PUT IT ON YOUR DESK.
YOU COULD NOT HAVE
PUT IT IN THE MAIL?
OF COURSE I COULD HAVE,
AND YOUR SECRETARY
WOULD HAVE RETURNED IT
TO ME UNOPENED.
OR WORSE, SHE WOULD HAVE
LOOKED AT IT
AND TOLD YOU
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
BUT IT IS NOT.
IT IS A GOOD FILM, MR. KLAAR.
I AM GOOD.
A FINE PRODUCER
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME.
YOU, UH, HAVE NO LACK
OF EGO, MISS MIKELI.
PLEASE, MR. KLAAR,
IF THIS FILM IS NOT
AS GOOD AS I SAY IT IS,
I SWEAR, I WILL NEVER
TROUBLE YOU AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT.
COME.
OFF-LIMITS GATE.
THE MISSING EXTRA,
MISS MIKELI --
SHE IS WITH ME.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
Man: Yes, sir, Mr. Klaar.
Thank you.
IT IS NORA'S SPEECH
FROM THE THIRD ACT
OF "A DOLL'S HOUSE."
IT IS THE PART
WHERE SHE --
I, UH, KNOW THE SPEECH.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
COME.
TORVALD, YOU ARE NOT THE MAN
THAT I MARRIED.
WHEN YOUR FEAR LEFT YOU,
YOU WERE NOT AFRAID FOR ME,
BUT FOR YOURSELF.
AFTER IT WAS OVER,
AS FAR AS YOU WERE CONCERNED,
IT WAS EXACTLY AS IF
NOTHING AT ALL HAD HAPPENED.
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
EXACTLY AS BEFORE,
I WAS AGAIN YOUR LITTLE DOLL.
AND NOW YOU TREAT ME
WITH DOUBLY GENTLE CARE
BECAUSE I WAS SO DELICATE
AND FRAGILE.
[ METAL SQUEALS ]
TORVALD...
IT WAS THEN
THAT IT DAWNED UPON ME
THAT I HAVE BEEN LIVING
HERE IN THIS HOUSE
WITH A STRANGER
FOR EIGHT YEARS.
YOU ARE QUITE, UH,
QUITE GOOD.
WELL, THANK YOU
SO VERY MUCH, MR. KLAAR.
I WILL LOOK AT IT AGAIN
IN A DAY OR TWO
IN THE PROJECTION ROOM.
THEN PERHAPS I CAN, UH,
PERHAPS I CAN FIND
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, MR. KLAAR.
AND I DO SO MUCH
WANT TO APOLOGIZE
FOR THE WAY I CAME IN HERE.
IT WAS RUDE, IT WAS WRONG,
BUT I -- I'M SORRY.
FORGET IT.
COME, NOW.
I WILL SHOW YOU
OUT THE GATES,
AND PERHAPS I CAN, UH,
CALL YOU IN A FEW DAYS,
MISS MIKELI --
SOCIALLY.
YES, OF COURSE, MR. KLAAR.
[ METAL SCRAPING ]
[ SCRAPING CONTINUES ]
[ HISSING ]
[ WATER RUSHES ]
Klaar: YOU WILL REMEMBER
AT THE BEGINNING
OF THE FILM --
PLEASE, COULD YOU SHOW IT
TO ME FROM THE SPLICE --
THE BLACK FRAME
YOU TOLD ME ABOUT?
CERTAINLY.
UNDERSTAND, TO THE EYE,
BLACK IS BLACK.
MARVELOUS.
TRULY MARVELOUS.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THOSE ARE
THE EXACT WORDS I WILL USE
WHEN I GIVE MY REPORT
TO THE MINISTRY.
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
THANK YOU.
WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT?
COULD THIS BE HAPPENING?
NO, NO.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING?
I DIDN'T TOUCH YOUR MACHINE
UNTIL JUST NOW.
I NOTICED IT.
I'M SORRY, BUT THE FILM
HAS BEEN SPLITTING
AS IT COMES OUT.
PERHAPS THERE IS A BUG.
PERHAPS.
YOU HAVE ANOTHER PRINT, YES?
NO, ONLY ONE WAS MADE
FOR SECURITY REASONS,
BUT IT'S EASY TO MAKE
ANOTHER PRINT.
THE NEGATIVE IS NEXT DOOR
IN THE VAULT.
GOOD. GOOD.
LOOK AT IT!
LOOK AT IT!
RUINED!
EVERYTHING RUINED!
PRECIOUS FILM!
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!
FIND OUT AND LET ME KNOW
IMMEDIATELY!
YES, SIR.
DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME.
DO SOMETHING.
I WILL. OF COURSE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?
I STILL HAVE
THE NEWSREEL FOOTAGE.
I STILL HAVE THE SET.
I STILL HAVE A DAY.
THE ATROCITY PART --
I WILL SHOOT IT AGAIN.
[ HAMMER POUNDING ]
GOOD MORNING, ERIC.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
THIS IS CAPTAIN PETYOV.
HOW DO YOU DO, CAPTAIN?
ERIC IS MY ASSISTANT.
EVERYTHING READY?
YES, MR. KLAAR.
WE'RE ALMOST READY.
GOOD. I WANT TO CHECK
THE FOLIAGE.
RIGHT, SIR.
[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]
HIT THE BACKING.
[ BUZZER SOUNDS ]
OKAY, LET'S TEST IT.
[ GUNSHOTS ]
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
CAPTAIN?
YOU MEAN, THIS WILL LOOK LIKE
WHAT I SAW IN THE FILM, HMM?
Klaar: IT IS WHAT YOU SAW.
STANDING HERE,
YOU CAN SEE THE EQUIPMENT,
THE STAGE WALLS.
THE VIEWER WILL NOT.
IT JUST NEEDS TO BE DRESSED.
I UNDERSTAND.
YOU.
YOU, THERE, WITH THE CART.
WHAT IN THE NAME
OF HEAVEN IS THIS?
THESE ARE THE DEAD BODIES
YOU ASKED FOR, SIR.
I ASK FOR DEAD BODIES.
SOMEONE DECIDES
TO SAVE ME MONEY.
DUMMIES COST NOTHING.
EXTRAS COST ONLY
PRACTICALLY NOTHING.
OF COURSE, THE PICTURE
IS RUINED, BUT WHAT OF THAT?
GET THESE THINGS
OUT OF HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
AS SOON AS EVERYONE IS READY,
I WANT A FULL REHEARSAL.
Man: YES, SIR.
Eric: ALL RIGHT, MEN,
INTO PLACES.
YOU EXPLAIN TO THEM TO DO
EXACTLY THE SAME THING
AS THEY DID THE LAST TIME.
YES, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, MEN,
AS YOU WERE BEFORE.
PUT A DOUBLE ON THAT!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
AND GIVE ME
A SINGLE UP HERE.
YOU, FRESHEN UP
THIS FOLIAGE.
HUGO, THIS WILL BE
EXACTLY THE SAME THING
AS WE SHOT THE LAST TIME.
CAPTAIN.
Man: FIRE ON THE SET!
Man: THE BUCKET.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
THAT WAS EXTREMELY
CARELESS, CAPTAIN.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME --
I WAS SO FASCINATED,
I MUST HAVE DROPPED
A MATCH WITHOUT LOOKING.
FORGIVE ME.
Klaar:
MY AMERICANS, PLEASE.
ALL RIGHT, MEN.
OVER HERE.
NOW, EVERYONE WATCH THIS
VERY CLOSELY.
THIS IS TO REFRESH
YOUR MEMORIES
OF WHAT WE DID LAST TIME.
NOW, THIS IS THE POINT
WHERE YOU BLOCK OUT THE LENS
AND OUR FILM BEGINS,
REMEMBER?
VERY WELL, ONE REHEARSAL,
THEN I WOULD LIKE
TO TRY A TAKE.
Man: YES, SIR.
NOW, REMEMBER, YOU MUST
HIT YOUR MARKS EXACTLY.
YOU BLOCK OUT THE LENS,
THEN CONTINUE ON
WITHOUT TURNING YOUR BACK.
I DO NOT WANT TO SEE
YOUR FACE IN CLOSE-UP YET.
Eric: ALL RIGHT, MEN,
INTO PLACES.
BRING IN THE WOUNDED.
Man: SPECIAL EFFECTS GUN,
PLEASE.
READY, HUGO?
QUIET.
ACTION!
[ IMITATING MACHINE GUNFIRE ]
CUT, CUT, CUT!
WHEN YOU COME IN, YOU MUST
HAVE YOUR HEADS LOWER --
MORE OF A CROUCH.
MORE, MORE, MORE PLEADING.
MORE FEAR. THANK YOU.
SPECIAL EFFECTS READY?
Man: YES, SIR.
THEN THIS WILL BE PICTURE.
PLACES, EVERYONE.
QUIET.
[ BELL RINGS ]
ROLL IT.
Klaar:
YOU HAVE SPEED, HUGO?
SPEED.
THEN ACTION!
Man: NO, NO, NO, NO.
Man #2: NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO.
AAH!
CUT.
[ BELL RINGS ]
PRINT IT
AND GET ME A MESSENGER.
YES, SIR.
EXCELLENT.
EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
THANK YOU. YOU DIED BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
IT WAS EXCELLENT. EXCELLENT.
THE BEST ONE YET.
BEAUTIFUL, NO?
[ CHUCKLES ]
NOW, LISTEN CAREFULLY.
TAKE THIS FILM
AND RUSH -- I REPEAT --
RUSH IT TO THE LAB
AND WAIT THERE.
WAIT UNTIL IT IS DEVELOPED,
THEN BRING IT TO ME
IN MY OFFICE --
TO ME AND NO ONE ELSE.
[ HAMMER POUNDING ]
YES, WE CAN CONGRATULATE
OURSELVES, PETYOV.
HAVING TO RESHOOT THE FILM
WAS A STROKE OF LUCK.
IT WILL BE EVEN BETTER
THAN THE FIRST TIME.
THIS EVENING,
IF I MAY SAY SO,
WILL BE A RICHLY DESERVED
TRIUMPH.
YES, EVEN MORE THAN THAT.
TO THIS EVENING.
THIS EVENING, MY FRIEND.
[ MUFFLED THUMP ]
I KNOW.
I KNOW JUST AS SURE
AS I AM SITTING HERE,
SOMEONE IS OUT TO GET ME.
THERE IS A PLOT.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
THE MOTION-PICTURE BUSINESS.
SUCH JEALOUSY.
YOU REALLY THINK SO, HMM?
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
THAT WILL BE THE MESSENGER
WITH THE FILM.
[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]
SIR, THIS MAN WAS FOUND
IN THE BASEMENT.
HE HAS NO PASS.
WELL, NOW.
Klaar: NOW YOU SEE, PETYOV?
YOU SEE?
WHO ARE YOU?
MORE IMPORTANT, WHAT STUDIO
ARE YOU WORKING FOR?
WHO SENT YOU?
BERNARDIAN AT MAGDA?
CHAPNISS? VACHECK?
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE?
WELL, SPEAK.
MIKLOS,
YOU'RE BEING FOOLISH.
THERE MAY BE MORE TO THIS
THAN YOU THINK,
PERHAPS EVEN ESPIONAGE.
YES, LET ME TAKE
THIS FELLOW DOWN
TO N.V.D. HEADQUARTERS
AND SWEAT HIM A BIT.
WE'LL GET
TO THE TRUTH. COME.
SIR. I HAVE THE FILM, SIR.
GOOD, THANK YOU.
SOLDIER,
TAKE THIS MAN ALONG --
NO, NO, NO, PETYOV.
THEY CAN TAKE HIM
TO N.V.D. THEMSELVES.
I AM TAKING NO CHANCES.
I AM PUTTING THIS FILM
IN MY POCKET,
AND YOU AND I
ARE PERSONALLY
GOING TO ESCORT IT
TO THE SWISS LEGATION.
BUT I THINK I SHOULD --
NO, CAPTAIN, I MUST
ABSOLUTELY INSIST.
YOU TWO, TAKE HIM OUT.
YOU OTHER TWO,
COME WITH US.
BECAUSE NOT ONLY DO I WANT
TO SEE THESE FILMS
SAFELY IN THE LEGATION,
I AM PERSONALLY GOING TO
HAND IT TO THE PROJECTIONIST,
AND YOU AND I
ARE GOING TO WATCH IT
BEING THREADED
INTO THE MACHINE.
I SWEAR, NOTHING IS GOING
TO HAPPEN TO THIS FILM.
NOTHING.
FINE.
NOW DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING.
DO NOT DO ANYTHING EXCEPT
HIT THE SWITCH WHEN I TELL YOU.
NO ONE COMES IN. NO ONE.
YOU, OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
YOU, INSIDE.
COME, CAPTAIN,
OUR CURTAIN IS GOING UP.
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME. WELCOME.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM MIKLOS KLAAR.
THIS IS MY FRIEND
CAPTAIN PETYOV.
HOW DO YOU DO?
NICE TO SEE YOU.
SOKOLOFF,
COORDINATED NEWS.
OH, YES,
HOW GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GEORGE BENGST,
INTERNATIONAL WIRE SERVICE.
A PLEASURE, MR. BENGST.
MAY I INTRODUCE
KLAUS HANSEN, WORLD PRESS?
MR. HANSEN,
I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU.
I AM DELIGHTED
TO SEE YOU ALL
FOR YOU ARE GOING TO SEE
FOR YOURSELVES, GENTLEMEN,
HOW THE AMERICANS,
WHO PROFESS TO ADHERE
TO THE GENEVA CONVENTION,
HAVE BEEN VIOLATING IT,
AS WE, WHO KNOW BETTER,
HAVE CLAIMED ALL ALONG.
THE FILM YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE
WAS SHOT
BY AN AMERICAN CAMERAMAN,
EXACTLY AS YOU WILL SEE IT,
WHILE HE WAS
ON A NEWS-GATHERING ASSIGNMENT
WITH AN AMERICAN COMBAT PATROL
IN THE WAR ZONE
NEAR THE VILLAGE OF QUON DOC.
ONCE YOU HAVE SEEN THE FILM,
I WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO ANSWER
ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS.
SHALL WE?
WHENEVER YOU ARE READY.
[ FAINT ARTILLERY FIRE ]
[ ARTILLERY FIRE CONTINUES ]
Man: NO, NO, NO, NO.
Man #2: NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO.
AAH!
[ GUNFIRE ]
[ AUDIENCE MURMURING ]
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
[ FAINT THUMPING ]
THAT IS THE MOST CALLOUS
AND BRUTAL THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
Man: IT'S HORRIBLE.
Man #2: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT,
BUT IT'S THERE.
[ ARTILLERY EXPLODES ]
Man: THAT'S --
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
THERE IS ONE THING
I WANT TO ASK,
AND THAT IS
WHY THE AMERICANS...
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Man: WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT? OH.
Klaar: CUE MY AMERICANS.
[ IMITATING MACHINE GUNFIRE ]
PROJECTIONIST.
PROJECTIONIST.
CUT, CUT, CUT!
WHEN YOU COME IN, YOU MUST
HAVE YOUR HEADS LOWER --
MORE OF A CROUCH,
AND MORE, MORE, MORE PLEADING.
Man: WELL,
THIS WAS JUST A HOAX.
AND THIS WILL BE PICTURE.
PLACES, EVERYONE.
Man: GENTLEMEN, YOU ARE
SEEING A HOMEMADE MOVIE.
[ AUDIENCE MURMURING ]
Man: MR. KLAAR!
Man: YOU MUST THINK
WE'RE FOOLS.
Man #2: MR. KLAAR, I THOUGHT
WE COULD ASK QUESTIONS.
WHERE AND WHEN
WAS THIS SHOT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]
[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME
PLAYS ]