Mission Hill (1999–2002): Season 1, Episode 2 - Kevin's Problem - full transcript
A mini-mart burns - the results of Kevin having a, uh, romance with a porno mag in a back room.
S01E02 Andy Joins the PTA
(or Great Sexpectations)
Cara, eu amo ter três HBOs.
Às 20h vai passar
Sexo Real no canal 41.
Em seguida, mudamos para
Confissões de Táxi no 10.
Depois para Autópsia no 7.
Fico feliz em pagar pelo
satélite em vez do seguro saúde.
Boa noite pessoal.
Andy, não quero incomodá-lo,
então obrigado pelo presente.
-Vou colocar o recibo na sua mesa.
-Pera, pera, pera aí.
Eu te dei um presente?
Estou tirando nota máxima. Mamãe e papai
sempre me compravam presentes por isso.
Você não mora mais com mamãe e papai.
Certo. E já que você
está no lugar deles...
...eu comprei um presente
para mim em seu nome:
Um novo jogo de computador daora.
Queridinho, aqui no mundo real...
...você não ganha um presente
por fazer o seu trabalho.
Eu paguei a conta de luz e
ninguém me deu um presente.
Como eu disse, eu
paguei a conta de luz.
Se quiser um presente,
gaste luz a vontade.
É por miha conta.
Você não está me apoiando muito.
Espero que você não faça isso durante a
reunião de pais e professores esta noite.
Oi, eu não tenho certeza
se nos conhecemos.
Sou Andy French, e eu não me
importo com a sua educação.
Não, você tem que ir.
Mamãe e papai disseram que você
deve fazer tudo o que eles fazem.
Tubo bem. Então, por que
você não vai para a cama ...
...e eu já vou lá para passar
pó de talco na sua bunda?
Mamãe e papai gostariam
de falar com você.
Ei, vocês dois.
Como vai a vida no Wyoming?
O que é isso sobre você
abusar emocionalmente do Kevin?
Nada, mãe. Mas eu não posso
mudar minha vida de repente...
...só porque o Kevin está aqui.
Eu tinha planos
para esta noite.
Mãe, ele está bebendo
no sofá com Jim.
Ei, Sra. French.
COLÉGIO POMPER
"Vamos compartilhar a educação do seu filho"
Eu sou Andy French.
Você sabe onde eu
deveria estar ou...?
Andy French?
Oh, você deve ser o pai de Kevin.
Não, eu não sou o pai dele.
Eu sou--
Adivinha quem eu sou.
Uau, alguma professora
ou algo assim?
-Eu sou a mãe do Toby.
-Toby?
Você conhece o Toby.
O melhor amigo do Kevin?
E com George,
os três são demais.
Eu os chamo de "os meninos alegres".
Ah, llene, Howard!
Estes são os pais do George. Howard
é o dono do mercado na Avenida 3.
Ei, eu te conheço. "Uma cerveja e
uma caixa de Bugles" [salgadinhos].
Eu também te conheço.
"Não vendo fiado".
Andy, espero que você considere se juntar
a nós na Associação de Pais e Mestres.
Oh, seria supimpa.
Não me associo a clubes, a menos que eles
aluguem fitas de vídeo pornográficas.
Liguem-me se conseguirem alguma.
Ei, quando o Andy vai voltar?
Provavelmente vai
demorar algumas horas.
Então, e quanto a você?
Você quer subir no
telhado e ficar torrado?
Eu não sou muito de ficar torrado,
mas obrigado de qualquer maneira.
Você gostaria de dar uma
olhada no meu novo jogo?
Sim.
Minha resposta teria que ser sim.
Você começa o jogo como
um guerreiro viking.
Quanto mais pessoas você mata,
mais forte você fica...
...até que finalmente você pode pagar pelo
seu próprio exército viking e por uma fortaleza.
E você joga na internet
com outros jogadores.
Toby, George e eu vamos nos unir
e partir para uma onda de matança.
Vocês, crianças, têm sorte, cara.
Tudo que eu tinha eram os escoteiros.
Ei, você está pronto
para o massacre?
Ok, só um minuto.
Tem um nórdico indo na sua direção.
Mata ele, Toby!
Eu não sei como! O que eu faço?
O que eu faço? Me ajuda!
Oh, l'll do it.
Sorry, l panicked.
That Norseman looked
just like my grandpa.
lf we're going to be an effective horde,
you have to get your act together.
l can't wait for George
to get up and running.
Mom has been using you, hasn't she?
Garden looks great, Posey.
Expecting a big harvest?
Yeah, yeah.
There were even more
vegetables yesterday...
...but the police were chasing a suspect
across the roof, and some got trampled.
But even so, there are more
than we could ever possibly eat.
Hey, l have an idea.
Why don't you sell them,
start your own business?
People pay top dollar
for organic vegetables.
Oh, well, that's a great idea.
l was going to give them to charity,
but where is the fun in that?
l wanna make some money.
Kevin's doing great.
Excellent student, blah, blah, blah.
-You wanna hear this stuff?
-Not really, no.
Great. We still got 1 4 minutes.
lf only more parents were like you.
Please have a seat. l'm Ms. Peck.
French. Andy French.
l'm Kevin's-- Brother, brother.
Kevin's brother.
We both came from
the same mother.
Well, l must say,
it's a joy to teach Kevin.
For a transfer student,
he caught up quickly.
He has a college-level grasp of literature
and an extremely advanced vocabulary.
Mr. French?
Do you have any questions?
Yes. Don't l know you
from somewhere?
Borchmore College, class of '96?
ln 1 996, l was in the Marines...
...serving with the U.N. forces
in Bosnia-Herzegovina.
Lucky Serbs.
-l think this conference is over.
-Wait.
What are you doing this weekend?
Maybe we could go to movie?
l don't think so.
Have you been drinking?
Many times.
But l'm always up for more.
-Want to go knock back a few?
-Thank you for coming. Goodbye.
No, no, wait. We need to talk.
Frankly, Mr. French, l'm amazed
Kevin is doing as well as he is...
...given the total lack of parental
involvement and responsibility.
Hey, l'm totally involved
and responsible.
There is nothing l wouldn't do for Kevin.
l knew it!
So can we count on you
to join the PTA?
Sure. Sign me up right now.
Wonderful. We could use one more
on the clean-up committee.
Have fun in there. Good night.
Gross. There's lipstick on that chicken.
You're right.
-What's all that?
-Fliers for a PTA meeting l'm hosting.
l joined up to impress
Kevin's hot English teacher.
Nice job. lf l was a girl,
l'd sleep with you.
Yeah. Excuse me, Gus.
Who would l speak to
about produce sales?
Produce? Those things look like rocks.
Yeah, no, they're not rocks.
These are organic vegetables.
Quite delicious and healthy.
And they make great salads.
This joint, we don't have
much call for salad.
Some joker wants one, l just dud up
a cabbage with some of this hot-dog relish.
Hey, anybody here want a salad?
Sorry, sweetheart.
Come back with a basket
full of hog's brains, we'll talk.
Toby, you were supposed
to be guarding our fortress!
What happened?
Where are you?
No!
''A Norse slave trader approaches.
What is your command?''
Sell Toby.
Come on!
Andy?
Some people are here to see you.
People?
Get your sunny side up, sleepy head.
Put on your happy cap and--
Now, as for the fall dance...
...does anyone have suggestions
for the entertainment?
Well, l, for one, love square dancing.
We could decorate the gym
with bales of hay and have a hoedown!
We can't afford ho's.
Why not something cheap
like one-man band from street corner?
He play for nickels.
l've got a connection at
the Yiddish Violin Academy.
Those kids will play
just for the exposure.
Yeah.
Holy crap.
Something you'd like to add,
Mr. French?
The stuff you're talking about
is totally lame.
Our kids will hate it.
Well, what do you suggest?
Well, look, for practically nothing
you can get a good DJ.
One who plays music the kids
actually like, know what l mean?
l haven't listened to popular music since
that sniper took out our radio in Sarajevo.
Yeah. Well, trust me,
if there's one thing l know...
...it's young people
and how to nurture them.
Let's nurture our children, folks.
-Nurture, yes!
-Wonderful.
l tell you, George,
''Virtual Valkyrie'' has changed my life.
-You don't know what you're missing.
-l do. l still can't get it installed.
You dirty backstabber!
You sold me into slavery!
Hey, Toby, you snooze you lose.
But you too shall snooze, old friend.
And when you leave your computer
for even a second...
...l will wreak my horrible revenge.
By Odin, l am coming for you.
Little help?
Hey, hey, stop.
Give it back.
Hey, look. Dancing Queen
wants his disco ball.
Come on, let's see you shake
your fruity booty.
Shouldn't you two be in class?
-Could you use a hand here?
-Sure.
So l've heard Kevin talking about
his girlfriend in Canada.
Think he might bring her down
for the dance?
No, she's made up.
l mean, they broke up.
lt was rough,
but l helped him through it.
Kevin's lucky to have you.
Well, see you two Saturday.
Ms. Peck....
Howard, would you like to buy
some of my homegrown vegetables?
They're only 30 cents each.
l already got plenty vegetable
at salad bar. See?
Bacon bits, croutons, bacon bits.
You name it.
Yeah. Perhaps if you tasted
one of mine.
lt burns!
Take your health food out of here!
Sasha, look!
They've got lndonesian mandrake root
and carobe bulbs.
Oh, yeah. Just birthed from
Mother Earth this morning, Sasha.
Oh, my God!
ls that real dirt?
How much are they?
Those not for sale yet.
She wholesaler.
Okay, l buy all your vegetables.
Thirty cent, right?
Oh, yeah, okay.
No, not anymore.
Now they're two dollars each.
You crazy! Get out of store!
Expensive dirty vegetables.
Hey, Kev, we really spruced up
that old gym.
You will not recognize it at the dance.
l'm not going to any dance.
What? You have to go.
What kind of a parent
am l gonna look like...
...showing up at the dance
without my own kid?
l can't leave my computer.
lf l do, Toby will kill me.
And God only knows
what George is planning.
Yes!
Well, l, for one, cannot believe you'd rather
bury your nose in that darn computer...
...than go to a dance and meet girls.
l hate dances, okay?
Girls don't like me, no one will
dance with me, so l'm not going. The end.
l just think it's important
for a young man's development--
Look, l've got more important things to do
than obsess over women.
Hey, my concubines are here.
What if l find you a date?
lf l find you a date, will you go?
Sure, whatever. Beat it.
Beat it?
Come on. l'm busting my ass for you,
and l deserve some respect.
Would you talk
to Mom and Dad like that?
No, but you would.
Good point.
Hey, catch it! Come on.
Kevin's got a lot to offer, Andy.
l bet he could find a date on his own.
l can't take that chance.
He has to have a decent date
if l'm going to impress Ms. Peck.
Now focus.
Hey, ladies, anybody want
a date for the dance?
That's odd.
l didn't even mention Kevin.
What's going on, man?
Hi, how would you like a date
to the dance Saturday night?
l'd love it! Only my dad says
l'm not allowed to date until l'm 1 4.
Wait, here he comes. Let me ask him.
l'm trying to find my brother a date for
the dance, and l'm willing to pay for it.
-Any takers?
-What l gotta do?
Nothing like that.
One dance, a cup of punch, at most.
-Hundred bucks.
-A hundred?
-Fifty.
-Fifty?
What's he look like?
Two hundred. And no slow dances.
-Squash.
-l love it.
Your carrots rock.
-Tell your friends about me.
-Okay, that's it.
You people get away from my store
or l call police.
Hey, pal, let her sell her vegetables.
lt's a free country.
At least, it used to be.
Just another case of The Man
trying to keep us down.
l not The Man.
He keep me down too!
Save it for the country club, Thurston.
Okay, you win.
l buy all your crazy, expensive vegetables.
Oh, great. Okay, l'm glad we could
work this out, Howard.
l will also need
a 40-percent franchising bonus...
...a small shelving fee...
...and an exclusive
point-of-purchase display...
...to maintain my brand integrity.
Okay, but next time you need tampon
late at night, forget it.
You've really outdone yourself, honey.
Those are beautiful cupcakes.
Yeah. l frosted each one
in a different style.
Cubist, Dada, Russian constructivist.
Thanks for helping.
Really appreciate it.
Kevin, let's go!
Come on. Chop, chop.
Let's get the show on the--
-What is this?
-lt's called fortifying your defenses.
Oh, no, no.
We're off to the big dance.
Look at you. Your hair's a mess.
Let go of me. Stop!
l can't see my battle lines.
You wanna look good for your date,
don't you? This will match your slacks.
Let's be rational.
Dances are voluntary activities that--
Someday, you'll thank me for this.
Now, buck up, smile,
look like you're having fun.
Especially if Ms. Peck walks by.
Fun. Sure.
l'll just chit-chat over punch...
...while Toby's army beheads me
and mounts my face on a pike!
That's the spirit.
Andy, everything looks wonderful.
Hey, when you travel Air French,
you travel first class.
Maybe later l can visit the cockpit.
Sorry. We didn't flirt much
in the Marines.
You're doing fine.
So how about a dance?
l've got some work to do,
but l'd love to later.
Work. Right. Chaperoning.
l'm on it.
Hey, what do you think
you're doing?
Can you believe that?
l'll take care of it.
None of that in here.
You take it outside.
Toby's away from his computer.
That means nobody's defending
his fortress.
Hey, hey, hey.
How's my little jolly boy?
-Having a good time?
-No. Let me go!
Come on, l'm in a big hurry.
Toby, my baby!
Listen to me.
We are gonna find Ms. Peck...
...and you're gonna tell her
l'm a loving brother...
...or l'll kick your ass!
l didn't mean that!
Please don't call Mom.
Young man.
My kitty cat is stuck
up in that tree.
Sorry. lt was already dead.
Ready for that dance yet, Ms. Peck?
Sure. And, Andy, it's Colleen.
Come on. Keep peddling.
You can do it.
l'm doing it, Daddy!
l'm biking all by myself--
Your fort is going down.
My navy is gonna blast you.
Yeah? Your navy and what army?
You know, Andy, when l first met you,
l didn't think much of you.
Oh, thank you.
l thought you were
an immature, selfish slacker.
But you really proved me wrong.
You're caring and responsible
and a terrific parent.
So maybe l'm your type after all?
Maybe you are.
There he is!
-Yo, where's my money?
-What money?
He said he'd give me 200 bucks
to go out on a date.
Two hundred? lt was 50!
Don't you disrespect my bitch.
Andy, you paid this girl?
l just wanted my brother
to have a good time.
Not that good a time.
Rock and roll!
This dance rules!
That's him! That's the pervert
who tried to pick me up yesterday.
Look, l was just trying to be
a good, caring parent.
The kind you like.
This whole time,
l've only been looking out for Kevin.
l'm a dead man.
lsn't that cute.
Little guy's all tuckered out.
Andy, it hurts to walk.
What do you want me to do about it?
l can't believe l'm being nice to you
and no one is around to appreciate it.
l appreciate it.
What's that smell?
l fell in the sewer.
Tradução:
Wagner Wingert
Legendas em inglês:
BloodLogic
(or Great Sexpectations)
Cara, eu amo ter três HBOs.
Às 20h vai passar
Sexo Real no canal 41.
Em seguida, mudamos para
Confissões de Táxi no 10.
Depois para Autópsia no 7.
Fico feliz em pagar pelo
satélite em vez do seguro saúde.
Boa noite pessoal.
Andy, não quero incomodá-lo,
então obrigado pelo presente.
-Vou colocar o recibo na sua mesa.
-Pera, pera, pera aí.
Eu te dei um presente?
Estou tirando nota máxima. Mamãe e papai
sempre me compravam presentes por isso.
Você não mora mais com mamãe e papai.
Certo. E já que você
está no lugar deles...
...eu comprei um presente
para mim em seu nome:
Um novo jogo de computador daora.
Queridinho, aqui no mundo real...
...você não ganha um presente
por fazer o seu trabalho.
Eu paguei a conta de luz e
ninguém me deu um presente.
Como eu disse, eu
paguei a conta de luz.
Se quiser um presente,
gaste luz a vontade.
É por miha conta.
Você não está me apoiando muito.
Espero que você não faça isso durante a
reunião de pais e professores esta noite.
Oi, eu não tenho certeza
se nos conhecemos.
Sou Andy French, e eu não me
importo com a sua educação.
Não, você tem que ir.
Mamãe e papai disseram que você
deve fazer tudo o que eles fazem.
Tubo bem. Então, por que
você não vai para a cama ...
...e eu já vou lá para passar
pó de talco na sua bunda?
Mamãe e papai gostariam
de falar com você.
Ei, vocês dois.
Como vai a vida no Wyoming?
O que é isso sobre você
abusar emocionalmente do Kevin?
Nada, mãe. Mas eu não posso
mudar minha vida de repente...
...só porque o Kevin está aqui.
Eu tinha planos
para esta noite.
Mãe, ele está bebendo
no sofá com Jim.
Ei, Sra. French.
COLÉGIO POMPER
"Vamos compartilhar a educação do seu filho"
Eu sou Andy French.
Você sabe onde eu
deveria estar ou...?
Andy French?
Oh, você deve ser o pai de Kevin.
Não, eu não sou o pai dele.
Eu sou--
Adivinha quem eu sou.
Uau, alguma professora
ou algo assim?
-Eu sou a mãe do Toby.
-Toby?
Você conhece o Toby.
O melhor amigo do Kevin?
E com George,
os três são demais.
Eu os chamo de "os meninos alegres".
Ah, llene, Howard!
Estes são os pais do George. Howard
é o dono do mercado na Avenida 3.
Ei, eu te conheço. "Uma cerveja e
uma caixa de Bugles" [salgadinhos].
Eu também te conheço.
"Não vendo fiado".
Andy, espero que você considere se juntar
a nós na Associação de Pais e Mestres.
Oh, seria supimpa.
Não me associo a clubes, a menos que eles
aluguem fitas de vídeo pornográficas.
Liguem-me se conseguirem alguma.
Ei, quando o Andy vai voltar?
Provavelmente vai
demorar algumas horas.
Então, e quanto a você?
Você quer subir no
telhado e ficar torrado?
Eu não sou muito de ficar torrado,
mas obrigado de qualquer maneira.
Você gostaria de dar uma
olhada no meu novo jogo?
Sim.
Minha resposta teria que ser sim.
Você começa o jogo como
um guerreiro viking.
Quanto mais pessoas você mata,
mais forte você fica...
...até que finalmente você pode pagar pelo
seu próprio exército viking e por uma fortaleza.
E você joga na internet
com outros jogadores.
Toby, George e eu vamos nos unir
e partir para uma onda de matança.
Vocês, crianças, têm sorte, cara.
Tudo que eu tinha eram os escoteiros.
Ei, você está pronto
para o massacre?
Ok, só um minuto.
Tem um nórdico indo na sua direção.
Mata ele, Toby!
Eu não sei como! O que eu faço?
O que eu faço? Me ajuda!
Oh, l'll do it.
Sorry, l panicked.
That Norseman looked
just like my grandpa.
lf we're going to be an effective horde,
you have to get your act together.
l can't wait for George
to get up and running.
Mom has been using you, hasn't she?
Garden looks great, Posey.
Expecting a big harvest?
Yeah, yeah.
There were even more
vegetables yesterday...
...but the police were chasing a suspect
across the roof, and some got trampled.
But even so, there are more
than we could ever possibly eat.
Hey, l have an idea.
Why don't you sell them,
start your own business?
People pay top dollar
for organic vegetables.
Oh, well, that's a great idea.
l was going to give them to charity,
but where is the fun in that?
l wanna make some money.
Kevin's doing great.
Excellent student, blah, blah, blah.
-You wanna hear this stuff?
-Not really, no.
Great. We still got 1 4 minutes.
lf only more parents were like you.
Please have a seat. l'm Ms. Peck.
French. Andy French.
l'm Kevin's-- Brother, brother.
Kevin's brother.
We both came from
the same mother.
Well, l must say,
it's a joy to teach Kevin.
For a transfer student,
he caught up quickly.
He has a college-level grasp of literature
and an extremely advanced vocabulary.
Mr. French?
Do you have any questions?
Yes. Don't l know you
from somewhere?
Borchmore College, class of '96?
ln 1 996, l was in the Marines...
...serving with the U.N. forces
in Bosnia-Herzegovina.
Lucky Serbs.
-l think this conference is over.
-Wait.
What are you doing this weekend?
Maybe we could go to movie?
l don't think so.
Have you been drinking?
Many times.
But l'm always up for more.
-Want to go knock back a few?
-Thank you for coming. Goodbye.
No, no, wait. We need to talk.
Frankly, Mr. French, l'm amazed
Kevin is doing as well as he is...
...given the total lack of parental
involvement and responsibility.
Hey, l'm totally involved
and responsible.
There is nothing l wouldn't do for Kevin.
l knew it!
So can we count on you
to join the PTA?
Sure. Sign me up right now.
Wonderful. We could use one more
on the clean-up committee.
Have fun in there. Good night.
Gross. There's lipstick on that chicken.
You're right.
-What's all that?
-Fliers for a PTA meeting l'm hosting.
l joined up to impress
Kevin's hot English teacher.
Nice job. lf l was a girl,
l'd sleep with you.
Yeah. Excuse me, Gus.
Who would l speak to
about produce sales?
Produce? Those things look like rocks.
Yeah, no, they're not rocks.
These are organic vegetables.
Quite delicious and healthy.
And they make great salads.
This joint, we don't have
much call for salad.
Some joker wants one, l just dud up
a cabbage with some of this hot-dog relish.
Hey, anybody here want a salad?
Sorry, sweetheart.
Come back with a basket
full of hog's brains, we'll talk.
Toby, you were supposed
to be guarding our fortress!
What happened?
Where are you?
No!
''A Norse slave trader approaches.
What is your command?''
Sell Toby.
Come on!
Andy?
Some people are here to see you.
People?
Get your sunny side up, sleepy head.
Put on your happy cap and--
Now, as for the fall dance...
...does anyone have suggestions
for the entertainment?
Well, l, for one, love square dancing.
We could decorate the gym
with bales of hay and have a hoedown!
We can't afford ho's.
Why not something cheap
like one-man band from street corner?
He play for nickels.
l've got a connection at
the Yiddish Violin Academy.
Those kids will play
just for the exposure.
Yeah.
Holy crap.
Something you'd like to add,
Mr. French?
The stuff you're talking about
is totally lame.
Our kids will hate it.
Well, what do you suggest?
Well, look, for practically nothing
you can get a good DJ.
One who plays music the kids
actually like, know what l mean?
l haven't listened to popular music since
that sniper took out our radio in Sarajevo.
Yeah. Well, trust me,
if there's one thing l know...
...it's young people
and how to nurture them.
Let's nurture our children, folks.
-Nurture, yes!
-Wonderful.
l tell you, George,
''Virtual Valkyrie'' has changed my life.
-You don't know what you're missing.
-l do. l still can't get it installed.
You dirty backstabber!
You sold me into slavery!
Hey, Toby, you snooze you lose.
But you too shall snooze, old friend.
And when you leave your computer
for even a second...
...l will wreak my horrible revenge.
By Odin, l am coming for you.
Little help?
Hey, hey, stop.
Give it back.
Hey, look. Dancing Queen
wants his disco ball.
Come on, let's see you shake
your fruity booty.
Shouldn't you two be in class?
-Could you use a hand here?
-Sure.
So l've heard Kevin talking about
his girlfriend in Canada.
Think he might bring her down
for the dance?
No, she's made up.
l mean, they broke up.
lt was rough,
but l helped him through it.
Kevin's lucky to have you.
Well, see you two Saturday.
Ms. Peck....
Howard, would you like to buy
some of my homegrown vegetables?
They're only 30 cents each.
l already got plenty vegetable
at salad bar. See?
Bacon bits, croutons, bacon bits.
You name it.
Yeah. Perhaps if you tasted
one of mine.
lt burns!
Take your health food out of here!
Sasha, look!
They've got lndonesian mandrake root
and carobe bulbs.
Oh, yeah. Just birthed from
Mother Earth this morning, Sasha.
Oh, my God!
ls that real dirt?
How much are they?
Those not for sale yet.
She wholesaler.
Okay, l buy all your vegetables.
Thirty cent, right?
Oh, yeah, okay.
No, not anymore.
Now they're two dollars each.
You crazy! Get out of store!
Expensive dirty vegetables.
Hey, Kev, we really spruced up
that old gym.
You will not recognize it at the dance.
l'm not going to any dance.
What? You have to go.
What kind of a parent
am l gonna look like...
...showing up at the dance
without my own kid?
l can't leave my computer.
lf l do, Toby will kill me.
And God only knows
what George is planning.
Yes!
Well, l, for one, cannot believe you'd rather
bury your nose in that darn computer...
...than go to a dance and meet girls.
l hate dances, okay?
Girls don't like me, no one will
dance with me, so l'm not going. The end.
l just think it's important
for a young man's development--
Look, l've got more important things to do
than obsess over women.
Hey, my concubines are here.
What if l find you a date?
lf l find you a date, will you go?
Sure, whatever. Beat it.
Beat it?
Come on. l'm busting my ass for you,
and l deserve some respect.
Would you talk
to Mom and Dad like that?
No, but you would.
Good point.
Hey, catch it! Come on.
Kevin's got a lot to offer, Andy.
l bet he could find a date on his own.
l can't take that chance.
He has to have a decent date
if l'm going to impress Ms. Peck.
Now focus.
Hey, ladies, anybody want
a date for the dance?
That's odd.
l didn't even mention Kevin.
What's going on, man?
Hi, how would you like a date
to the dance Saturday night?
l'd love it! Only my dad says
l'm not allowed to date until l'm 1 4.
Wait, here he comes. Let me ask him.
l'm trying to find my brother a date for
the dance, and l'm willing to pay for it.
-Any takers?
-What l gotta do?
Nothing like that.
One dance, a cup of punch, at most.
-Hundred bucks.
-A hundred?
-Fifty.
-Fifty?
What's he look like?
Two hundred. And no slow dances.
-Squash.
-l love it.
Your carrots rock.
-Tell your friends about me.
-Okay, that's it.
You people get away from my store
or l call police.
Hey, pal, let her sell her vegetables.
lt's a free country.
At least, it used to be.
Just another case of The Man
trying to keep us down.
l not The Man.
He keep me down too!
Save it for the country club, Thurston.
Okay, you win.
l buy all your crazy, expensive vegetables.
Oh, great. Okay, l'm glad we could
work this out, Howard.
l will also need
a 40-percent franchising bonus...
...a small shelving fee...
...and an exclusive
point-of-purchase display...
...to maintain my brand integrity.
Okay, but next time you need tampon
late at night, forget it.
You've really outdone yourself, honey.
Those are beautiful cupcakes.
Yeah. l frosted each one
in a different style.
Cubist, Dada, Russian constructivist.
Thanks for helping.
Really appreciate it.
Kevin, let's go!
Come on. Chop, chop.
Let's get the show on the--
-What is this?
-lt's called fortifying your defenses.
Oh, no, no.
We're off to the big dance.
Look at you. Your hair's a mess.
Let go of me. Stop!
l can't see my battle lines.
You wanna look good for your date,
don't you? This will match your slacks.
Let's be rational.
Dances are voluntary activities that--
Someday, you'll thank me for this.
Now, buck up, smile,
look like you're having fun.
Especially if Ms. Peck walks by.
Fun. Sure.
l'll just chit-chat over punch...
...while Toby's army beheads me
and mounts my face on a pike!
That's the spirit.
Andy, everything looks wonderful.
Hey, when you travel Air French,
you travel first class.
Maybe later l can visit the cockpit.
Sorry. We didn't flirt much
in the Marines.
You're doing fine.
So how about a dance?
l've got some work to do,
but l'd love to later.
Work. Right. Chaperoning.
l'm on it.
Hey, what do you think
you're doing?
Can you believe that?
l'll take care of it.
None of that in here.
You take it outside.
Toby's away from his computer.
That means nobody's defending
his fortress.
Hey, hey, hey.
How's my little jolly boy?
-Having a good time?
-No. Let me go!
Come on, l'm in a big hurry.
Toby, my baby!
Listen to me.
We are gonna find Ms. Peck...
...and you're gonna tell her
l'm a loving brother...
...or l'll kick your ass!
l didn't mean that!
Please don't call Mom.
Young man.
My kitty cat is stuck
up in that tree.
Sorry. lt was already dead.
Ready for that dance yet, Ms. Peck?
Sure. And, Andy, it's Colleen.
Come on. Keep peddling.
You can do it.
l'm doing it, Daddy!
l'm biking all by myself--
Your fort is going down.
My navy is gonna blast you.
Yeah? Your navy and what army?
You know, Andy, when l first met you,
l didn't think much of you.
Oh, thank you.
l thought you were
an immature, selfish slacker.
But you really proved me wrong.
You're caring and responsible
and a terrific parent.
So maybe l'm your type after all?
Maybe you are.
There he is!
-Yo, where's my money?
-What money?
He said he'd give me 200 bucks
to go out on a date.
Two hundred? lt was 50!
Don't you disrespect my bitch.
Andy, you paid this girl?
l just wanted my brother
to have a good time.
Not that good a time.
Rock and roll!
This dance rules!
That's him! That's the pervert
who tried to pick me up yesterday.
Look, l was just trying to be
a good, caring parent.
The kind you like.
This whole time,
l've only been looking out for Kevin.
l'm a dead man.
lsn't that cute.
Little guy's all tuckered out.
Andy, it hurts to walk.
What do you want me to do about it?
l can't believe l'm being nice to you
and no one is around to appreciate it.
l appreciate it.
What's that smell?
l fell in the sewer.
Tradução:
Wagner Wingert
Legendas em inglês:
BloodLogic