Mismatched (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - It's Not a Date - full transcript

Sit on my cock,
and you will see stars.

Ask anybody from NASA to ISRO,

my rocket is the biggest.

There is nobody on earth who can stop me!

Who can stop Anmol?

And you? Who are you?

You got tired of scratching your ass
and you wanna mess with me?

Killing spree!

Guys, Anmol on his own
can take all of you.

There may be thousands of rabbits,
but lions hunt alone.

Hey, friends!



Doctor Dynamo is saying,
"I have made a new GF, Vanshika.

She's a big fan,
give her a shout-out."

Ustad Doctor Dynamo
is such a stupid name, bro.

Who came up with it?

Never mind. Enough shout-outs for now.
Who's this Slayer33?

33! Rascal!
You are trying to gang up on me, asshole?

Come on, asshole.
I will kick you in the balls so hard,

your entire family tree will vanish.
Take this, asshole!

Fuck!

Where do these people come from?
Who is this?

Who is this?

Fuck! This is a girl.

For a girl, you have a lot of guts!

You better study Home Science
and leave gaming. What rubbish!



If you're so hungry for attention,
come to my place...

'cause you can come
and suck my big fat cock anytime you want.

-Hello.
-Hello.

The shithead is holding class here today?

Yes, as he pleases.

Why did you delete your message?
What was in it?

But...

Sorry, man, I deleted it by mistake.

-I'll send it again.
-Yes, resend it.

Mr. and Mrs. Shekhawat!

What's the matter?
You're here early today.

Ahuja, please blow our minds
one more time. Shoot!

Sir, my app's name is AntiSosh.

So, basically, this app
will help antisocial people

deal with their biggest enemies,
which are parties.

Sir, you have to visualize.

This app will be a social app
for antisocial people.

This will help antisocial people
connect with all the nearby parties.

Normal people like to party.

To find people like you, it would take
a super powerful search engine.

Sir, it will be done.

There'll be other features, too.

For example, fake phone calls
to be saved from irritating people.

-I am just saying, you--
-Hello, Mom! Yes! Hello?

Rejected.

This app will send creep alerts
to people in parties.

Can I buy you a drink?

Drinks are free here.

-Can we dance?
-No, thanks.

At least a kiss?

It'll teach self-defense techniques, too!

Okay.

You need confidence to meet new people
in parties and chat with them.

Can your app help people gain confidence?

Sir, conversation starter templates.

This app will make anyone
a champion of small talk.

Guys, do you know
any hidden gem tourist spots in Jaipur?

Which ones?

Not bad, Ahuja.

To make your hit app a superhit...

a blockbuster idea is required.

Found it!
Sir, there will be a game in the app

in which the player will have to escape
from a party by crossing obstacles.

Approved.

Okay, okay! Sir, last thing.

We will make this app
Hindi language-friendly

for people like my mother.
If she's bored in a prayer meeting--

Mr. Naughty America, please pitch in.
Help her.

I won't let you enjoy the fruits
of her labor.

Happy to help, sir.

All right, guys, today,
HTML coding essentials.

Mr. Malhotra, thanks for joining us.

Sorry, sir. I had to take a leak.

Okay, take a U-turn and leave.

Sir, I thought I'd just...
I told you, I had to take a leak.

See, I'm not in a mood to argue.
Next time, go before the class begins.

Sir, I did go before the class started...

but you see, I have to go
to bloody Bangladesh to use the bathroom.

Fun fact, sir,
in this giant, fancy institute,

there's one bathroom for the disabled.
It exists in name only to satisfy the law.

Have you ever seen it, sir?
It smells of month-old shit.

And today, even that was locked.

Then I went around the college,

found a security guard and begged him,
"Bro, I need to pee. Please open it."

Then he opened it.
Now I have even stopped drinking water.

Because you never know
if there'll be an emergency.

A guy on a wheelchair
going in the bushes will not look good.

And I'm extremely, excuse my language,
fucking sorry for being late.

But I'm not fucking sorry
for being disabled.

Cool.

You can join the class.

There's no place
for crybabies in this game.

Shoot.

You get one shot
and you better make it count.

Nice!

Guess whose app got approved?

Finally, man. I thought
I'll waste my whole life on this...

One second. Hey! My room in an hour?

Yeah! In 59 minutes. I'll see you.

-"Fifty-nine minutes..."
-Shut up! Stop talking.

Hey, Dimple!

I will join you in two minutes.

I think you got your app idea
from this guy, your partner,

but you're designing it with someone else,
which is fine. I'm not mad.

I'm just saying,
in case you decide to sell your app

to Facebook or Amazon
for a million dollars,

just remember me, you know.

Every month, have royalties sent to me.

First of all,
not a million but a billion dollars.

-That works.
-Okay, bye.

-I accept cash or PayPal.
-Bye!

-How about Venmo? Is that--
-Bye, Harsh!

Okay.

Not bad, Rishi Singh!

Okay, listen, let's start
working on the lo-fi prototype.

You do that,
I will work on content inventory.

Okay.

You take it.

No, it's fine. I got it for you.

Okay.

What?

Nothing. I'm waiting. You finish.

-I don't want to take a risk.
-What does that mean?

I mean...

Now, I have to ask you something.

Okay.

I have to give you something.

So, I'll give it to you.

Will you give an explanation
or should I overthink and die?

Rishi, I really like you.

But...

That "but" is the whole problem--

Will you let me speak?

I came here for a reason.

I have some goals that are a world apart
from "couple goals."

And, frankly,

I don't have the energy
to invest in a relationship.

And, you know, the focus is always--

Career. I know, I understand.

-But...
-One more "but"?

The last "but."

I love spending time with you.

So, if you don't have a problem with it,
can we chill together as friends?

As friends... we can chill.

How is your research going?

I have changed my mind.

-I want to work on a different app.
-Did Malhotra say anything?

He said it in front
of the whole class, sir.

But I understand
why he wanted to make this app.

Sir, he cannot run in his real life,

but, probably,
with the help of this app...

-Sir, if you give permission--
-No, Karim.

These things
should not be guided by emotions.

Okay.

I don't have a problem with that game.

The problem is there's nothing unique
about that game.

-You want to make a game?
-Yes.

Okay.

You two will have to make a game...

that people would like to play.

Not a game
which people have already played. Right?

-Right.
-So...

Can I trust you with that, Karim?

Yes, sir. Yes.

Just DTF.

-What... What?
-Don't worry, sir.

We will do it fast.

Today...

in the evening, we will do DTF.

Malhotra... DTF...

-Do you know what DTF means?
-Yes.

Details to be figured.

First of all, tell Malhotra what it means.

-Okay?
-Okay.

Hey.

You wanna spark it?

Okay.

Zeenat, this is a school.

Not everything is allowed here.

Go.

"The Zombie Race" is approved.

-Congrats, man!
-What "congrats"?

Sid wants me to add 800 features,
utilities--

-I know.
-I wanted to make a simple game.

Anmol, relax. I gotta be honest with you,
Sid's got a point.

As of this present moment...

there's no difference
between your game and Dimple's game.

It's the same thing.

"Dimple's game"?

Her app has a game.
It's an in-app game.

But if you take out that game...

then it's shit, a waste, rotten,
just like her life.

Rubbish. Please don't say that.
It's such a nice idea.

Right now, in the entire class,
her idea is the best.

In my opinion, she has the top idea.

-Hey! Shithead!
-Idiot.

Did we ask you?

What exactly does "shithead" mean?

I think that's self-explanatory, Momo.
Don't you think?

Listen, are you wearing this on a date?

Is it a date or a prayer program?

It's a non-date.

Hey, what's a "non-date"?
It is a date!

What's the problem with this outfit?

It's comfortable, see?

I won't feel hot.
Mosquitoes won't bite me.

It's perfect.

Besides,
you probably don't have anything else.

Please. Bye!

Celina, what will we do with this girl?

-What to do?
-I don't know.

Do you have something else?

Let's do this!
Okay, I think we have a lot of options.

Okay.

Dimple.

I look terrible.

It looks like a tent!

You mean, Dimple looks like a fool.

-Nice stuff, dude.
-Gorgeous!

-Except--
-No, this stays.

-Okay.
-Okay? I'm leaving now.

-There's still a lot of work. Sit down!
-What?

What else is left?

Beauty. A work of art indeed.

-One last thing.
-No!

I will not use kohl.

-What's the problem with kohl?
-No kohl.

It's just like a push-up bra
for your eyes.

You are my mother's dream daughter.

My mother has two favorite things.
Kohl and push-up bra.

Listen, trust me, your mother
doesn't want a daughter like me.

Whatever, I'm going.

Hey, wait! Where are you going?
Rishi will come to pick you up, right?

Is there a rule book
that says the boy will pick up the girl?

I am ready.

Why should I wait?
I can just go and pick him up.

Listen, use protection, kids.

Listen, cut the crap, Celina. Bye.

-Bye. Have fun.
-Thank you, bye.

Bye.

Good job. Good job.

Listen, there's still time
before your Cinderella curfew, right?

Yes, a little. Why?

Can I do something artistic
with your hair?

Yeah, sure!

Okay then.

-I'll sit here?
-Yes, come sit.

Okay.

Let's see.

-Shall we curl your hair?
-Okay.

Just a minute.

Greetings!

Mr. Rishi is taking a bath.

Okay, I'll wait outside.

Please, come in.
I'm going for an evening walk with Damini.

-Come in.
-Who's there?

Make yourself comfortable.
He'll be here soon.

Okay, thanks.

-Who are you speaking to?
-Bye.

Yes, tell me.

It was Dimple Bhabhi.
Why are you always so suspicious?

Hi!

What are you doing here?
My non-date will be here soon.

If she sees you in my room,
what will she say?

People will gossip.
It's their job to gossip.

Wow! Bollywood reference.

Sometimes, I stoop down to your level.

Nice. Let's go?

Aren't you a little overdressed?

Listen.

I don't know about your movie reviews,
but I'm very impressed with this place.

Listen, don't be too impressed, okay?
I mean, let this be a non-date.

If it gets converted into a date,
things will get complicated.

Very funny.

The scooter that Babu Sheikh parked
in front of Dr. Mandot's clinic...

the RDX in it was placed in my godown.

He died in front of Iqbal.

That's why it is with me.

This is the way they work.

Listen... I didn't make this movie.
If you're getting bored, we can leave.

We paid for the full movie.
How can we leave?

Yes, but the film is boring, isn't it?

I'm sorry.

It's okay. We have the entire night.
Thank God I made plans for dinner.

Listen, you won't poison me
because of this disaster, right?

That's not a bad plan, actually.

Dimple, at least give me a hint.

-Okay! I will give you two hints.
-Okay.

The first hint is,

-this place is owned by a single lady.
-Okay.

And the second hint is,

she has converted an old mansion
into a hotel all by herself.

Do you know her?

Her last name is Shekhawat, too.
Are you related to her?

No, we're not related.
It must be someone else.

I thought maybe we could get a discount.

It's not like I know every Shekhawat.

Well, your last name is Ahuja.
Do you know Sonam Kapoor's husband?

Hey, take a right from here.

Sorry.

-Let's go.
-Dimple, Dimple!

Listen. I read reviews of this place.
They're very average.

Let's go somewhere else.

Movie reviews are your department.

Leave the food reviews to me, please.
Let's go.

Oh, my God!

See? I told you to trust me.

It's cool, no?

-Isn't it?
-Yeah.

-Greetings!
-Namaste.

Greetings, sir! It has been a long time.

Yeah! That's due to college...

-Is my mother here?
-No, she's gone out.

Okay.

Speak of the devil!

What's he saying?

Ashish is going to attend our college.

He's joining the course?

No chance.

He is joining to play basketball.

It's all a drama.

He's only coming to check out girls.

That means there's a lot of similarity
between both the brothers.

What?

No?

-You too--
-One second...

Before you complete that sentence.

He's coming to check out girls.
In my mind, there was only one.

-Can I take the call?
-It's fine.

-Just a minute.
-No problem.

Hey, Mom, he's just a friend.

We get very bad food at the hostel,

so we're having bread and curry
at a small diner.

What?

Mom, please stop your interrogation.

Okay, I have to go now.
I'll call you later.

Yes, okay. Bye!

-Hi!
-Hi.

Sorry...

my mom thinks I'm on a date with someone.

But...

I mean, this is not a date, right?

For me, it's a date.

I don't know about you.

I have never kissed anyone.

I'm sorry.

You feel like
you're in a scene from a movie, right?

No.

This is better than a movie.

Because this is not fake.

Shall we go inside for dessert?

If you want, we can go.
I'm done.

I'll just be back
with you guys in a minute.

Rishi, hey!

You never come when I invite you.
I'm so glad you could drag him here.

-Hi, I'm Kalpana.
-Hi! Dimple.

Lovely to meet you.

And I hope my son
is looking after you well.

Oh, you're...

I have no clue
what's going on in his life.

From now on, I will check with you. Deal?

Deal.

He and Ashish are all grown up now.

They're not interested
in their mother at all.

And I know that sons do need their father.

But don't worry.
He is nothing like his dad.

Yeah.

Dimple, can I say something?

It's fine, Rishi.
Thanks for dropping me off at home.

It's quite late.

Good night.

Fuck!

I'm sorry.

Wait! One sec.

Dimp.

-Dimp! Dimp!
-It's fine. I should've knocked first.

I should've locked the door.

Listen, please finish your thing.
I'll be out here, just call me.

After whatever just happened,
there's nothing left to finish.

About him, let me explain,
we hooked up after the party--

No, it's your life. It's fine.

I'm just...

I'm... I'm just a little confused.

I thought you and Namrata
liked each other.

Wait.

Do you think that I "like" Namrata?

I don't think so, but...

So...

does she think...

Does she think that I like her?

-No! I mean, I don't know.
-Somebody has told you something.

-No!
-Right?

Nobody has told me anything.
I haven't talked to anyone.

You are a terrible liar, Dimple.

Tell me.

Listen...

Rishi told me.

But you can't talk to Namrata about this,
or with Rishi.

You can't tell Namrata.

She can't know that you know.

-Celina!
-Yeah.

-Please don't go and ask her anything.
-No.

Just don't tell her, please.

Relax.

Life is like a video game.

Unpredictable.

Anything can happen anytime.

That's why, like in a game,
we must also play by the rules in life.

If your life's in order, you will benefit.

Rule number one. Don't trust anyone.

Everyone here changes colors,
just like chameleons.

If you trust the wrong person blindly,

you'll become a loner chicken
and you won't even realize it.

Rule number two. Never ever give up.

This is a war zone.

You will get hit, you will fall,
but you should not give up.

No matter how many times you have to try,
you have to get up.

You have to fight.

Rule number three.

Always be ready. Focus.

If you stop paying attention,
accidents will happen.

Anybody can come from behind and fuck you.

Before he fucks you,
you have to turn the tables on him.

You need to show the assholes their place.

What were you doing in the girls' washroom
for so long?

Painting the walls with my semen.
Is that a problem?

Did anyone ever teach you
how to talk politely?

Even when streaming League of Legends,
you hurl abuses.

Is that all you know, Anmol?

Excuse me? Are you talking
about my gaming skills, by any chance?

Please. That's not called gaming, okay?

I play League of Legends, too,
but I've never verbally abused anyone.

You know what? Fuck it!

Hey, listen!

You're still wet behind the ears
and you want to tell me what a gamer is?

Stop your blabbering,
or I will show you where you stand.

What will you do?

I'll kick your goddamn ass
in the League of Legends championship.

-Are you challenging me?
-Challenge?

What if I defeat you?

Then I'll do as you say.

First of all,
you will delete your Twitch account,

and you will apologize
to all your female followers.

Buddy, quit gaming
and take up comedy instead.

-Yes or no, Anmol?
-Done!

But if I win...

you will do the complete coding of my app.

And you will drop your AntiSosh shit.
Got it?

Done.

Hey, listen!

Take care of your balls.

'Cause they're gonna get kicked so hard,
your entire family tree will be uprooted.

Got it?

Rule number four.

A game is played to be won,
not to get beaten.

So, go and play until it's "game over"
for the whole world.

Subtitle translation by Achala Yasin