Misfits (2009–2013): Season 3, Episode 4 - Episode #3.4 - full transcript

My name is Friedrich Hirsch.

I was born in Berlin in 1935.

When the Jews were sent to the ghettos,

I was given false papers
and adopted by a German family.

Shortly afterwards, my parents
were sent to the labour camps.

I was never to see them again.

My adoptive parents

were terrified that I would be found out.

Every day they said to me,

"Say nothing."

"Do nothing."



I smiled and I saluted

and I did...

nothing,

as everyone I knew was murdered.

But now, I have a chance to change that.

I am going to travel through time
and kill Adolf Hitler.

If I fail,

I wanted whoever finds this letter
to know that...

I tried.

I did...something.

(DOOR UNLOCKS)

Aah!

(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)

(HELICOPTER WHIRRS)



(DOG BARKS)

Move! Move! Move!

- Get out now. Move! Move! Move!
- (DOGS BARK)

Hey!

Come on. Come with us.

Come on, move it!

Fuckin' Nazis!

(it THE RAPTURE'. Echoes)

# "The city breathing"

# "The people churning"

# "The conversating"

# "The price is what?"

# "The conversating"

# "This place is heaven"

# "And if you see them"

# "They're saying what?" #

What's going on?

I seen them arresting people
on the estate.

They've started rounding up anyone
who's got one of these powers.

- What are they gonna do with 'em?
- Fuck knows.

(SCRAPING)

What is this?
I said it had to be done alphabetically.

Since when did J come before H?

If I'm so crap,
why did you give me the job?

Because you have other talents.

Oh, yeah...

you are very, very talented.

What, you mean I've got nice tits?

Yeah.

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

Yeah... whatever.

You told me to let you know
when the prisoner arrived.

He's here.

The old man we found
with the stab wound on the estate,

he had this in his pocket.

Well, put it with the other shit!

(DOOR SHUTS)

SHAUN: Morning.

What do you want with me?

Oh, I think you know
what we want from you.

Cos if you didn't,

we wouldn't have found you
being smuggled off the estate

in the boot of a car.

You'd have taken the bus...

like a normal person.

Now... you're gonna test some people...

to see if they've got
one of these powers.

And if they have,
you're gonna take it off 'em

and you're gonna stick it in
whoever I tell you to stick it in.

Got it?

(SHOUTS) Right!

Let's get started!

Hands.

Next!

Hands.

Give him your hand.

(PANTS)

Bingo!

Right, take her for questioning.

You've got what you want from me!
Just let me go!

SHAUNI Next!

(GIRL CRIES)

(SOLDIERS CHATTER)

What d'you know?

There's this guy. They've got him
at the community centre.

They're using him
to take people's powers.

(SOBS)

(FRIEDRICH MOANS)

What's wrong with him?

He was stabbed.

I think his wound's infected.

Well, can't you take him to a hospital
or summat?

Nazis aren't big on compassion.

Aren't you one of 'em?

I was conscripted.

I'll do what I can for him.

(HELICOPTER WHIRRS)

Oh, they're... they're gonna...
they're gonna find us!

No! They're not gonna find us,
cos I have a plan.

- We're gonna go to Mum and Dad's.
- What?!

They're our parents -
they're legally obliged to hide us.

Oh, yes, because I am sure
they are dying to get involved(!)

Last time Dad seen you,
he called you a "little cunt"!

- They fucking love me, man.
- Do they?

Yes. They worship me.

In fact, sometimes, I think Mum loves me

er... too much!

Get back in here, come on,
cos we're gonna go.

- Stay where you are!
- Fuck!

Stop! Stop or we'll shoot!

I said, stay where you are!

This guy who's taking people's powers...

You said you deliver food to the cells?

Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
They've got me working my arse off!

We need you to put this in his food.

What is it?

You really need me to tell you?

I ain't killing him.

He's a prisoner. He's not one of 'em!

Ain't nothing personal.

Killing someone?!
To me, that's fuckin' personal!

The Nazis are using him to take people's
powers. They want them for themselves.

When they get them,
they're gonna use them against us.

We can't let that happen.

What are you doing?

There's an old man in the cells.

His wound's infected.

He needs antibiotics.

Do you know what they'll do to you
if they find you here?

Shit!

What's going on?

He was just helping me with the computer.

You know how shit I am with these things.

Yeah, she is particularly shit.

I missed you.

Yeah? I only went for a piss.

I can still miss you, can't I?

See the effect I have on women?

Sit down.

Oh...

What about them Nazis, hey?

What about 'em?

Very bossy.

You're not taking the bait at all.

You're making... You're gonna make me
come right out and say it.

(SOFTLY) Are you part of the resistance?

Oh! Oh, Oh!

I'll take that as a yes.

- Good. It's nice to meet you, mate.
- Who are you?

I've got one of them bullshit powers.
Nazis are after me.

Ohm

Show me.

Do it.

(RUDY GROANS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Captain Smith.

I was just, er...

It looked like you were sitting around,
smoking a cigarette.

I was thinking about how best
to organise our operations

and to maximise efficiency...

and... productivity.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Right.

I understand you've caught the man
we've been looking for?

We most certainly have. Please...

Move.

So... I hear you've been doing
good work for us.

Is that what you call it?

How does this work?

Oh, he's... he's gotta touch you.

You know... I can make life
very unpleasant for you.

You're all done.
It's like taking candy from a baby.

You've missed a patch.

We can't keep this man
locked in a dirty cell.

Just there.

That's very good.

You got a cigarette?

(COUGHS)

You don't smoke, do you?

What gave it away?

I don't smoke either.

Why should the smokers
get all the breaks?

I never got a chance to thank you.

For covering for me.

Why are you with him?

I got caught drink-driving.

Um, they were gonna
to send me to prison.

He got them to drop the charges.

You probably think I'm a total slut.

We're all doing
what we need to do to survive.

He's fuckin' hung himself!

Open the fuckin' door!

Come on!

I can't hold him. Untie him!

I'm trying!

Come on!

(GASPS AND COUGHS)

You go in there to kill him
and you end up saving his life?

Just explain to me
exactly how that happens.

I couldn't kill him.
He was trying to kill himself.

Then you leave him to it. Job done.

He was prepared to hang himself rather
than let those bastards have the powers.

- He's on our side.
- That's no good to us

if the Nazis have got him.

We missed our shot.
We might not get another.

Hmm, now then.

That's like the, er, story
of the tortoise and the hare.

Eh?

Or is it the owl... owl and the pussycat?

Something about a lion and a dog?

Two in the hand is worth...

...one in the bush, isn't it?

Stop stealing the alcohol.

I thought you said to just help myself?

I said stay the fuck away from the bar.

Yeah.

You go back to the community centre
and you call me if anything happens.

It was a mistake
to treat him like a prisoner.

Yeah, that's exactly
what I was thinking, hm?

We need to make him see the benefits
of working for us.

Perhaps he won't be so hostile
once he's sampled

all the privileges we can give him.

I could get him a prostitute.

I think it might take
a little bit more than that.

Two prostitutes?

That was a joke.

It was very funny.

Yeah.

I'm not hungry.

I made you jelly and ice cream.

I thought it'd be easier to swallow.

You know, like they give you in hospital
when you have your tonsils out.

It's raspberry.

- You're dribbling.
- That's attractive!

Here you go.

I suppose I should get used to this.

Apparently they're moving me
to a more luxurious prison.

SHAUN: What the fuck is that?

(OVER RADIO) Convoy is halted.
I repeat, convoy is halted in sector one.

Come on.

(BEEPS HORN)

Oi.

Get 'em out the road.

Shit, get down! Drive, go!

(HORN BLARES)

(MACHINE-GUN FIRE)

Fuck! Stay down.

Fuck this!

You?

(COCKS sum)

Stay down.

They knew we were moving him.

And someone tipped them off!

Well, don't look at me.

I was lucky to get out of there alive.

And exactly how is it that you managed
to escape from this ambush?

I'm very agile.

Like a cat.

And what about you?

Hm?

Sitting there, tip-tapping away
on your little computer.

Maybe you're not as stupid as you look.

I can freeze your blood just like that.

Actually, she is as stupid as she looks.

You know, she hasn't got the brains
to pull something off like this.

Tear up the estate until you find him.

I'm holding you personally responsible.

I'll see what I can do, yeah?

We will see, won't we?

Fuck.

There's roadblocks all over the estate.
You'll have to stay here tonight.

Tomorrow, we'll see about
moving you to a safe house.

Keep your voices down
and stay out of sight.

Where am I?

You're in prison.

You need to get some rest.

(GRUNTS)

This is all wrong.

None of this should have happened!

Take these.

Get some sleep.

So what's the story with your power?

Started off just dealing
a bit of gear to mates.

It took off from there.

After a while,
I was dealing to the dealers.

It's addictive - the buzz.

Staying one step ahead of the police.

I wanted to be the ultimate dealer.

Then the storm hit.

Guess I got my wish.

I never... thanked you for...

...saving my life.

You shouldn't be thanking me for anything.

I was gonna kill you.

We had to stop the Nazis
from getting the powers.

I put poison in your food.

Well, why did you save me?

When I saw you hanging there,
I just couldn't do it.

Sorry I tried to kill you, yeah?

Glad you didn't.

I guess I've got a soft spot
for suicide cases.

Tart with a heart.

Who are you calling a fuckin' tart?

No, I didn't mean...

Well, you're not...

(TYRES SCREECH)

They're here!

What?

What's going on?

What do you think?

It's a raid.

Who are you?

I work here.

And you?

Er, I'm his...

...gay lover.

I'm... the giver, he's the taker.

I'm the butch, he's the bitch.

I'm the sausage, he's the muffin!

You're aware that homosexuality
is illegal?

Oh!

I were jokin'.

Cos, er...

he's me cousin, from me...

Shut the fuck up.

You...

and you.

(COCKS sum)

Clear, sir.

Well, go on, piss off!

(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)

(BOTTLES CLINK)

Right.

I reckon you've got about three seconds

before I empty my gun into this floor.

One...

...two...

(COCKS sum)

Cosy down there, is it?

Come on.

Go!

It's you.

Do I know you?

"My name is Friedrich Hirsch."

"I was born in Berlin in 1935. "

I wanted to change history.

You gave me the power.

"But now I have a chance to change that."

We were fighting.

My phone fell out of my pocket.

Hitler - he picked it up.

The Nazis -
they used the technology in the phone.

It changed everything.

"I am going to travel through time
and kill Adolf Hitler. "

(DOOR OPENS)

I think you'd better read this.

The Nazis
weren't supposed to win the war.

This isn't supposed to happen.

Take the power.

I'm too weak to do anything with it.

You have to put it right.

Take it!

SOLDIER: Open up!

So you have the power?

And now, you can put it back in him.

He's just taken it out of him.

We can't afford for anyone
to have this power.

Too much could change.

It dies with the old man.

I won't do it.

Shoot him.

Shoot the old man.

Take out your side arm, and shoot him.

That is a direct order!

Take your fucking gun out and shoot him!

(COCKS sum)

Get him out.

Take your fucking hands off me.

Leave him alone!

Put the power in him.

I will shoot...

every person in these cells

until you do as I say.

Don't do it.

I'm sorry.

And that's the end of that.

I heard what happened. Are you OK?

They shot them.

Right in front of me.

I just stood there.

I did nothing.

There's nothing you could have done.

What's wrong?

Everything.

You all right, mate?

(DOOR OPENS)

(GRUNTS)

You fucking shot me!

What are you doing?

I'm busting the prisoners out of the cells
and I'll kill anyone who gets in my way.

D'you need a hand?

I'm with her.

You're shagging him?
I thought you liked me.

All you ever did was make me hate myself.

Ungrateful little bitch.
After everything I've done for you.

Oh, will you shoot just him again?

When we're done with him,
you can do what you like.

Move!

(GUNSHOTS AND GRUNTING)

- Get us out of here!
- Hi.

Hi.

- Where's Curtis?
- He's...

He's dead.

This old guy had the power
to travel through time.

He tried to kill Hitler. But he failed.

There's another version of history.
The Nazis lost the war.

You're kidding?

It's locked!

You're completely surrounded,

so I suggest you drop your weapons.

Get behind me. They won't shoot me.

Give it up.

We just want him.

The rest of you are free to go.

Nah, I'm pretty sure he's lying.

Course he's fucking lying!

Grenade!

Fuck!

(GUNSHOTS)

(MACHINE-GUN FIRE)

(GLASS TINKLES)

We're surrounded!

He's hit!

Hold on. We'll get you out of here.

Tear gas!

(COUGHING)

Stay with me.

I faked it.

I didn't put the power in Curtis.

I've still got it.

Get the phone.

What phone?

Hitler. Get the phone.

No.

You're not allowed to die!

(COUGHING)

Oi, Hitler.

Why have you gotta be such a dick?

(WHOOSHING)

So me and you fought the Nazis

and I died?

They shot you.

In this...
alternative version of history...

...me and you,

did We?

Did we shag?

No.

You kissed me
when you gave me the power.

Did I?

And how was that?

It was all right.

So I want this bullshit
rewind power out of me.

I am done fucking with history.

You have to promise me
you won't let anyone else have it.

Promise, yeah?

I don't wanna die, so... I'll put it
in me pet iguana for safekeeping.

I never had you down
as someone who'd have a pet lizard.

Yeah, well, there's a lot
you don't know about me.

I know that you're not the person
you make out to be.

You act like you don't give a shit
about anyone. That's rubbish.

So what d'you want instead?

I kind of liked
being a fuckin' rocket scientist.

What the fuck are you looking at?

Nothin'.

Where have you been?

Just been fighting the fuckin' Nazis
and kicking the shit out of Hitler.

What's he doing here?

Do you think he's here
to take our powers?

What's going on with Kelly?
Is she seeing someone else?

Will you just fuck off
and stop following me?

Check again, Kelly Bailey.
Five foot five, medium build.

She's in the hospital.

We were supposed to be going for a drink
together. It could have been nothing.

But what if she liked me?

What if we were good together?