Misfits (2009–2013): Season 3, Episode 0 - Vegas, Baby! - full transcript
Nathan has gone to Las Vegas with his girlfriend Marnie and baby,Nathan Junior,with the express aim of using his super powers to defraud the casinos. Unfortunately he gets caught and is led off to prison after making an unsuccessful phone call to Simon - or Barry as he calls him.
Vegas, baby.
So? How do I look?
Turn around, let me see the ass.
Dead fit, totally shaggable.
I always fancied
my dad in a suit...
I'm sure he's a very
attractive man!
He must have been to have
such a beautiful daughter!
I'm loving this new power.
Always wanted to be a magician.
Like "the Great Nathan-o!"
Or "the Great Nathanono!"
You've got to be, baby.
Wait! "The Great...
Nano...!"
Oh fuck it!
Who cares when
you can do stuff like this?
Tada!
No?
It was supposed to come out
of your twat...
Oh fuck! That was a
$1000 chip...
Can you feel it?
Nope, not since
Nathan Jr. was born.
Well, I'll get a torch
we'll have a good look later.
Hey, my beautiful boy.
Oh Jesus!
The kid shits himself
more than I do!
Don't swear in front
of Nathan Jr.
I do not want his firsts words
to be "shit" or "cunt".
Sorry.
So, daddy's got to
go to work now.
And papa's gonna win.
And win big.
Vegas baby!
Let's play some dice.
The gentleman wants to play?
Roll to the gentleman.
Sir?
Would you roll the dice?
Ok! Here it goes!
Here it goes!
Lucky number... 7?
7. Winner!
Oh oh ... money!
Come on!
Darn, just in time.
Back to the gentleman.
7. Winner.
All in baby!
All in!
Sir?
That bet is over the house limit.
The bet has been accepted.
11!
Here!
Money, money, money!
Thank you and good night.
You need to come
with me sir.
Well, it's a lovely offer...
and you're undoubtedly
a handsome man,
but I'll be on my way
with my winnings.
You don't have any winnings!
7 and 4!
Even I know that
adds up to 11!
You don't get a 7
on a dice...
Are you sure about that?
The police are on their way.
Don't touch the chips! Leave the chips,
take your hands off...
Leave the table!
Wait! Wait!
Your ass is mine.
Wait! Wait!
Have you ever seen a man
shit a rabbit out of his anus?
I'm thinking not.
Prepare to be amazed,
and disgusted.
Ok, here we go...
Oh breathe, here he comes!
Here comes the little fella!
Here he comes!
Tada!
Jesus mother of God!
I want to assure you no animals
were harmed during this trick,
but this little fella
could do with a bath
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby!
Hey! Did you know that
there isn't a number 7 on a dice?
I was never very
good at maths.
No one tells me anything!
How am I supposed to know
this stuff? It's ridiculous!
Yeah but look what I've found!
It rolled out when I
was having a piss.
Brillant! You keep it.
Open the door, open the door!
You might want to stick it back
out there for safekeeping.
Who's that?
Probably just room service,
or some over zealous christians...
Not today, thank you!
God's dead!
Christians? Nathan...
Daddy might be gone
away for a little while...
Ah my ass is killing me.
Come on man, please, please.
Hello?
Barry? It's Nathan, listen.
I've only got one phone call
and I'm in serious trouble.
Oh no, there is no one called
Barry here man..
Who is this?
I'm the new guy.
Hello? Oh no!
Hello???
Nooooo!
It was a wrong nunber!
I need another phone call!
Save me Barry!
No, listen.
I'm too pretty to be in jail.
I drop my shoe!
So? How do I look?
Turn around, let me see the ass.
Dead fit, totally shaggable.
I always fancied
my dad in a suit...
I'm sure he's a very
attractive man!
He must have been to have
such a beautiful daughter!
I'm loving this new power.
Always wanted to be a magician.
Like "the Great Nathan-o!"
Or "the Great Nathanono!"
You've got to be, baby.
Wait! "The Great...
Nano...!"
Oh fuck it!
Who cares when
you can do stuff like this?
Tada!
No?
It was supposed to come out
of your twat...
Oh fuck! That was a
$1000 chip...
Can you feel it?
Nope, not since
Nathan Jr. was born.
Well, I'll get a torch
we'll have a good look later.
Hey, my beautiful boy.
Oh Jesus!
The kid shits himself
more than I do!
Don't swear in front
of Nathan Jr.
I do not want his firsts words
to be "shit" or "cunt".
Sorry.
So, daddy's got to
go to work now.
And papa's gonna win.
And win big.
Vegas baby!
Let's play some dice.
The gentleman wants to play?
Roll to the gentleman.
Sir?
Would you roll the dice?
Ok! Here it goes!
Here it goes!
Lucky number... 7?
7. Winner!
Oh oh ... money!
Come on!
Darn, just in time.
Back to the gentleman.
7. Winner.
All in baby!
All in!
Sir?
That bet is over the house limit.
The bet has been accepted.
11!
Here!
Money, money, money!
Thank you and good night.
You need to come
with me sir.
Well, it's a lovely offer...
and you're undoubtedly
a handsome man,
but I'll be on my way
with my winnings.
You don't have any winnings!
7 and 4!
Even I know that
adds up to 11!
You don't get a 7
on a dice...
Are you sure about that?
The police are on their way.
Don't touch the chips! Leave the chips,
take your hands off...
Leave the table!
Wait! Wait!
Your ass is mine.
Wait! Wait!
Have you ever seen a man
shit a rabbit out of his anus?
I'm thinking not.
Prepare to be amazed,
and disgusted.
Ok, here we go...
Oh breathe, here he comes!
Here comes the little fella!
Here he comes!
Tada!
Jesus mother of God!
I want to assure you no animals
were harmed during this trick,
but this little fella
could do with a bath
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby!
Hey! Did you know that
there isn't a number 7 on a dice?
I was never very
good at maths.
No one tells me anything!
How am I supposed to know
this stuff? It's ridiculous!
Yeah but look what I've found!
It rolled out when I
was having a piss.
Brillant! You keep it.
Open the door, open the door!
You might want to stick it back
out there for safekeeping.
Who's that?
Probably just room service,
or some over zealous christians...
Not today, thank you!
God's dead!
Christians? Nathan...
Daddy might be gone
away for a little while...
Ah my ass is killing me.
Come on man, please, please.
Hello?
Barry? It's Nathan, listen.
I've only got one phone call
and I'm in serious trouble.
Oh no, there is no one called
Barry here man..
Who is this?
I'm the new guy.
Hello? Oh no!
Hello???
Nooooo!
It was a wrong nunber!
I need another phone call!
Save me Barry!
No, listen.
I'm too pretty to be in jail.
I drop my shoe!