Misfits (2009–2013): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

Curtis is reunited with his old girlfriend, and tries to set things right using his powers, with serious consequences.

You're that runner guy.

- You screwed up big-time.
- You noticed, yeah?

- What did you do?
- Me?

I was done for eating some pick 'n' mix.

Me and this girl I was seeing - Sam.

Police caught us.
I had one wrap on me.

She had the rest of it.

No-one gets community service
for possession.

They said cos of my profile,
they needed to send a message.

WOMAN: They were the last people
to see him. They know something.

It's them.



Ahhh!

MAN: Maybe he left you.

WOMAN: He'd never do that to me.
He wouldn't.

CURTIS: All this,
it's already happened once.

SAM: What are you saying?
What? You turned back time?

Everything happened again!
Exactly the same!

SIMON: They're going to think
the probation worker's still alive.

I stole his credit card.
I used it to book a flight.

I know you want to.
All I have to do... is touch you.

Ahhh!

Keith was talking to your mate
and he's a dog, yeah?

- It's doing my head in.
- Get her tits out.

You don't need to use your power on me.

I'm already there.



(STARTER PISTOL FIRES)

(ALARM BEEPS)

(REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS)

ALISHA: Curtis?

Hi.

(METALLIC RUMBLING)

(LAUGHS)

(it THE RAPTURE'. Echoes)

# The city breathing
The people churning

# The conversating
The price is what?

# The conversating
This place is heaven

# And if you see them
They're saying what? #

Oh, my God! That is such a shamer.
Do you think he's told the others?

NATHAN: Bashing himself out of it.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure he told 'em.

And she was totally
clicking the mouse off herself, man.

KELLY: No way!

NATHAN: They were just, like,
really face-to-face.

He was wanking,

she was flicking her own bean,
right in each other's face.

SIMON: You should've filmed it.

Work that bean! Work that bean,
Kelly, my love! Oh! Er, hi.

- Shut up.
- You enjoyed it, you pervert.

- (LAUGHS)
- What? Do you want to have a look too?

No, thanks. I'm OK.

Can I have another look?

Prick.

Does anyone actually know
what he got done for?

- Says it was for eating pick 'n' mix.
- That's bullshit.

Are you two, like, together?

Yeah, I guess.

It's weird, yeah?

Cos of my bullshit power thing,
we don't actually have proper sex.

We just stare at each other
and wank ourselves off.

But it is really special.

Come on. It's not gay
cos we're not touching.

All you want to do is get down to it
and you can't, cos...

Hi.

- That's really disgusting.
- It's not fucking disgusting.

When did you get out?

A few days ago.

It's good to see you.

You're saying Tony's walking round
using his credit card.

(LAUGHS) So why has no-one seen him?

Because it's not him!

Someone's stolen it. Look, if you're
not going to do anything, then I will.

How was it in there?

Well, wasn't a lot of laughs.

How you doing?
How's community service?

Is what it is, innit?
Just need to get through it.

It's all so messed up.

Screwed our lives over a bit of coke.

You're out now. You need to move on.
Do something different.

Think anyone's gonna give me a job
with a conviction for dealing?

I saw you with that girl.

Are you with her?

She's beautiful.

It just happened, like.

I didn't mean it to.

And there's stuff
going on with me right now,

things I can't tell you about.

Sam! I'm sorry.

Sam?

I'm sorry.

- Why didn't you visit me?
- Cos I felt too guilty, innit?

I asked you to buy the gear.
It should've been me that went prison.

Things didn't work out like that,
did they?

I told 'em. I told the police
it was for me and my mates.

They wouldn't listen.

Trust me, if I could do anything
to change it, I would.

You should've visited me!

I know.

I couldn't see you in there.

- I couldn't look you in the eye.
- So you hook up with someone else?

She's helping you deal with it, is she?

My life is fucked!

And that's on you.

Sam!

(# SKEPTA: Rolex Sweep)

# Now do the Rolex sweep
Rolex sweep, Rolex sweep

# I told her to drink up
Selecta, play the song that I asked for

# If you wanna link up
You can meet me on the dance floor

# 50 Cent can't dance like me

# Soulja Boy can't dance like me

# Michael Jackson can't dance like me

# No, so c-c-count with me

# One, glass of champagne for me

# Two, glass of champagne for you

# Three, now do the Rolex sweep

# Do the Rolex sweep

# Do the Rolex sweep
Do the Rolex sweep... #

- We can't buy any drugs.
- What are you talking about?

All right?

Have you got the money?

- What?
- Hey!

Hey! Police! Stop!

Ahhh!

Hey!

Ahh! Ahh!

- (BANGING)
- Police! Open the door right now!

Bro, you're only making this
worse for yourself.

Open up! Fuck!

(RETCHES)

Open the door!

(MUSIC POUNDS IN DISTANCE)

Shit!

(TYRES SCREECH)

Oi! Nathan! I need your help.

Do I know you?

- Are you taking a shit?
- What?!

There's a guy here taking a shit!

Shut up!

Like me to grab you some toilet paper?

I'm not taking a shit!

How do I know you again?

You don't.
I thought you were someone else.

Jog on. Go!

Have a good one.

Prick.

VOICE MAIL: Hi, this is Sam.
Leave a message. I'll call you back.

Sam, it's me. Where are you? Call me.

(SIREN WAILS)

Come on!

Get in there, you beautiful bitch!

So close.

- On Oi!
- (TYRES SCREECH)

(SIREN WAILS)

Stop! Police!

- (TYRES SCREECH)
- Shit!

Stop! Stop! Police! Hey!

Shit!

£25.65 an hour, right?
But you're in the cool with the air-con.

Working in the kitchen,
it's the same money,

but it's boiling hot.

Hey, Bev, check this joker out.

Excuse me! You can't just
help yourself to anything you fancy.

This is not a buffet. That's theft.
I could have you arrested for that.

Really? For eating some pick 'n' mix?

You're paying for the sweets
in your mouth and for that drink.

"Beverley". Isn't that a woman's name?

- Pay up and leave.
- (LAUGHS) Beverley.

That's brilliant. Why did your parents
give you a girl's name?

This is your final warning.

Maybe you were born
with both sets of genitalia,

you know, like a chick with a dick.

Can I have Security
to the concession stand, please?

But your parents wanted a boy

so they kept your cock
and sewed up your change.

You're coming with me!

I'm being assaulted
by a chick with a dick!

Ow! Help me!

They sewed up his clunge!
They sewed up his clunge!

- Ahhhh!
- Help me!

- (PHONE RINGS)
- Where are you?

What happened with the police?

They let us go.

Look, I'm with Danny.

He wants the drugs. He says
I'm not leaving until he gets them.

Tell him I'll give him his money.
You'll be all right, yeah?

I'm on my way.

He's on his way!

(BOTH GRUNT)

(GROANS, CHOKES)

Stop it, stop it, stop it!
He's having a fit!

(CHOKES)

- Quick, call an ambulance!
- (GASPS)

(BOWLERS SHOUT)

(SHOUTS) Stop bowling! Stop bowling!

(DANCE MUSIC BLARES)

Come on, you wanker! Let's have it!

I need to go outside.
I'm off my tits.

Want me to come with you?

Move! Get out of my face!

Get out of my face!

(MUSIC BLARES)

(VOICES MURMUR INDISTINCTLY)

I was like you when I was younger.

I thought I knew everything.

I was a right cocky little arsehole.

And look where it got you!

You got the big office,
you got a staple gun -

you're living the dream, man!

You think you're better than all this?

I know I'm better than this,

because, Bev, if I'm not,
I'll probably have to kill myself.

You haven't got a clue.

Look, I've done mucking around!

You either pay for this damage
or I'll call the police.

What's it to be?

Call the police!

No, wait, hold on, hold on.

I'll pay the damage. All right?

Actually...you know, forget it.
Call the cops.

No, wait, don't, don't!
I'll pay. I'll pay!

Stop clicking around!

(OPENS WALLET)

Just take it. Just take it!

Give me the card!

Hold my hand, Bev! Hold it.

Kelly.

(RETCHES)

- Who are you?
- Oh, shit!

- (GASPS)
- Sorry, mate.

I'll wipe it off you.

No, no, you're getting it all over me.

(DANCE MUSIC BLARES)

You know, you're really nice, you are.

Do you want to kiss me?

No, no. You're all right.

I've got to go.

Oi, mate! You forgot your money!

It's expired, hasn't it!?

- Bev!
- Get someone down here right now!

All right. OK.

(DIALS PHONE)

You got the stuff?

The police were on me.
I had to flush it.

Then you're paying for it.
Give me the money.

All right!

Shit!

- Where's the money?
- It's in my hoodie.

I gave it to Ke...

I gave it to this girl. She's outside.

- Think you can play me, yeah?
- I'll get it for you.

- She's outside.
- Give me the fucking money!

- I'll get it!
- Bullshit! You're not leaving!

- Don't!
- Give me the fucking money!

- I'll get it!
- Don't!

Guys, save it!

- Get the fuck off me!
- Leave it!

- Get the fuck off!
- (GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS) Get Off him!

Yeah?

(GASPS)

Get out of the way!

(SCREAMS)

WOMAN: (SCREAMS) Is she all right?

(VOICES SCREAM INDISTINCTLY)

(# SKEPTA: Rolex Sweep)

# Do the Rolex sweep,
Rolex sweep, Rolex sweep

# I told her to drink up
Selecta, play the song that I asked for

# If you wanna link up
You can meet me on the dance floor

# 50 Cent can't dance like me

# Soulja Boy can't dance like me

# Michael Jackson can't dance like me

# No, so c-c-count with me

# One, glass of champagne for me... #

- Sam, you've got to run!
- All right?

- Run!
- You fucker!

(ALL GRUNT)

You fucking emo!

Open the fucking door! Open it!

- Open it! I will fucking kill you.
- (LOUD THUMPS)

Open it!

Ahh!

Aarrggh!

Fuck!

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)

Prick.

VOICE MAIL: Hi, this is Sam.
Leave a message. I'll call you back.

Sam, it's me. Where are you? Call me!

Hi, Mum? Yeah, it's me.

How was Spain?

Oh, yeah, great. Everything's fine.
It's all good.

There's just one little thing
I need you to do for me.

(PHONE RINGS)

- Are you all right?
- What did you do?!

Are you out of your mind?

I'll explain later. Just stay
where you are. No, don't move!

I'm coming to you.

What the fuck?! Curtis!

Oh!

(ELECTRO HOUSE MUSIC PLAYS)

I need to go outside. I'm off my tits.

- Move out of the way!
- I'll come with you.

Out of the way!

- MAN: Have you been here before?
- WOMAN: Er, yeah. Just once.

All right, so what are you doing
after we're finished here?

Oh, I was going to go back to my mate's.

You and your mate can come back to
my house. Me and Duncan will go back.

Hi.

Simon!

I bought you a beer.

I got your text.

What text?

You sent me a text
telling me to meet you here.

I was texting my mate.
I meant a different Simon.

- Kelly?
- (VOMITS)

Who are you?

I feel really better now.

(LOUD CHATTER, MUSIC CONTINUES)

Hey.

Are you OK?

(GASPS)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)

What the fuck's going on?

You need to trust me, all right?

Call Danny. Tell him
I'll give him his drugs back.

He's going to kill you!

I know what I'm doing. Call him.

(ELECTRO GARAGE MUSIC PLAYS)

You're a fucking dead man!

I don't think so.
I think you wanna thank me, coz...

- Right now, I'm your best mate.
- Down!

Police! Don't move!

All right, all right.
I ain't fucking done nothing wrong.

Don't worry. Stay calm.
Let's have a look. Don't move.

I saw you run last year.

You were in a different league.

Turn around.

You don't need to be getting involved
in this kind of thing.

Not with your profile.

Think, yeah?

Sort yourself out.

Clean?

Well, I expect I'll be seeing you.

Come on.

(CACKLES)

Oh, shit, man!

Oh, God, I feel sick.

(LAUGHS)

Oh...

So, you'll be wanting
your gear back, yeah?

(DOOR OPENS)

Your dad's here.

What are you doing here?

Your mum called me from Spain.

So, what did you do?

Nothin'.

I'm dragged out
in the middle of the night

and have to come all the way down here
because you did nothing?

It looks that way. It's a bitch, isn't it?

Mmm. So, what's it going to cost me
to sort this out?

- I don't want your money.
- Oh, really?

Cos I don't see anybody else
rushing down here to bail you out.

I didn't ask you to come down here
and bail me out, so...

Don't be a wanker.

(CHUCKLES)

Thanks for the fatherly advice.
It makes me feel all warm inside.

What do we owe you?

Beverley, I don't want him paying for it.

You want him to call the police?

Yeah. I do, actually.
Bev, call the police.

Yeah, you heard the man.
Go on, call the police.

Call 'em!

Are you still here?

(CHUCKLES)

BEVERLEY: Yeah. Police, please.

See ya, Dad.
Let's do this again sometime.

It's been really special.

You and your dad seem close. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, shut up, Beverley!

Arrrgghhh!

(SCREAMING)

DANNY: How'd you know
the police were there?

CURTIS: I saw them in the club,
so I stashed them here.

There was no time to warn you.

I owe you one, man.

- Have 'em. They're on me.
- No.

No, I'm good.

See you around.

We need to get so drunk.

I am kicking your arse.

- Come on. Let's see what you've got.
- Come on, then.

That's the guy that gave me his hoodie.

Oh, he's really nice.

- Yeah?
- Really nice.

Stand there.

I'll get the door.

(BURP5)

I feel like shit.

Kel?

Do you wanna marry me?

What?

That is so fuckin' romantic.

(ELECTRO DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)

ALISHA: I know you.

You're that runner guy.

What are you smiling about?

What, is it a secret?

(CHUCKLES)

I just changed history. I...

I changed the future.

Just so you know, yeah,

saying weird things like that
is a real turn-off.

She'll have a vodka tonic
with a little bit of lime.

How'd you know what I drink?

- Have we...?
- No.

But we will.

Where's the car?

Are we on the right level?

Yeah. It was right here.

Someone's nicked it, haven't they?

Jesus.

- Wankers!
- Tony.

Oh!

Tony! Stop it. Stop it.

It's a car. It's insured.

Your engagement ring was in there!

Were you going to propose to me?

Yeah.

Can I still say yes?

(LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

Mmm.

If they'd have caught us with the drugs,
we would've been screwed.

Shh. It didn't happen.

Everything's going to be all right.

We got away with it.

We did it.

I'll get us a couple more drinks.

(GASPS)

(ALARM BEEPS)

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

Yeah?

What are you saying?

What?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be at the track
in about...

What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, I'll be a little bit late.

There's someone I need to see.

It's you.

What?

Do I know you?

L---

I thought you were someone else.

What happened?

We were doing our community service

and the probation worker flipped out.

Just...

Just went crazy and then...

Then he killed them.

How come you survived?

They said I was half dead
when they found me.

I guess I'm just lucky.

I didn't stop him.

- Argh!
- What's that?

Did you know them?

I wasn't there.

I wasn't there.

I should've been caught.
I could've stopped this.

I wasn't there.

I wasn't there.

(# SKEPTA: Rolex Sweep)

# Do the Rolex sweep
Rolex sweep, Rolex sweep

# Rolex sweep, Rolex sweep

# I told her to drink up

# Selecta, play the song
that I asked for

# If you wanna link up... #

Who sold it to you?

It's only one wrap.

Come on!

I'm a good girl, really.

You're not flirting your way out of this.

You either tell me who sold it to you
or you get done for possession.

It's up to you.

It's him.

Guy in the black jacket.

# Do the Rolex sweep

# Do the Rolex sweep
C-C-Count with me... #

Go on. Piss off!

# Do the Rolex sweep

# One, one, one, one

# Two, two, two, two... #

You got the money?

# I told her to drink up

# Selecta, play the song
that I asked for

# If you wanna link up
you can meet me on the dance floor

# 50 Cent can't dance like me
Soulja Boy can't dance like me

# Michael Jackson can't dance like me... #

Hey!

Police!

(SHOUTING)

Oh! Fuck!

Hey! Hey!

Oh! Fuck!

Police! Open the door right now!

(BANGS AT DOOR)

You're only making this
worse for yourself!

Open up! Fuck!

(FLUSHING)

You've got nowhere to go.

Open up!

Don't waste my time!

Argh!

Arms up.

Looks like you forgot to flush one.

I'm arresting you for possession.

I saw you running last year.

- They'll ban you for this.
- What's going to happen to her?

She didn't have anything on her.
She's free to go. Come on.

Curtis.

(GASPS)

(ALARM BEEPS)

Hi.

(# THE SPECIALS: A Message To You, Rudy)

Hi.

# Stop your messin' around

# Better think of your future... #

- It's good to see you.
- You saw me yesterday.

- What you doing?
- Trust me. We need to lock the door.

- (MOANING, PANTING)
- (WHISTLES IDLY)

(LOUD MOANING)

(PANTING)

Are you two shagging in there?

ALISHA: Fuck off, you pervert!

Well, how long you gonna be?

- CURTIS: Will you piss off?
- (CLASHING)

OK. Just give us a shout
when you're done.

Does anyone actually know
what he got done for?

Says it was for eating pick 'n' mix.

That's bullshit.

Are you two, like, together?

Yeah, I guess.

It's weird, yeah.

Cos of my bullshit power thing,
we don't actually have proper sex.

We just stare at each other
and wank ourselves off.

But it is really special.

Come on, buddy. It's not gay
if I wank you off with the grabber.

We're not touching.

All you wanna do is get down to it,
but you can't.

- That's disgusting.
- It's not fucking disgusting.

Hi!

- What are you doing here?
- I was in the neighbourhood.

I miss you
when you're stuck here all day.

Are you just going to stand there
or are you going to do something about it?

Shit!

Ton)'-

Pervert!

- He's such a twat.
- He is a twat.

We have outfoxed the fox,

which makes us very bloody foxy.

It's not easy being you, is it?

Have you seen Curtis?

- Who are you?
- I'm his girlfriend.

Oh...

I thought that was you.
Do you want a lift?

Alisha, it isn't how it sounds.

How long? How long
have you been with her?

Why don't you call round my house
and I'll cook dinner?

Are you asking me around for sex?

- Nathan's stealing a baby.
- It's all right.

- Why would he take a baby?
- KELLY: You're acting like a freak.

What have I told you about
filming us on that thing?

Well, look at you, using your powers,
being all superhero.

They're the only friends I've got.