Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian (2020): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Lucky Country - full transcript

But not quite yet.

We can now call her our own.

Six years after I became
an Australian citizen...

..I've embarked on a 10,000km, two
month journey

around the country to explore what
it means to be an Australian today.

Australia, here I come!

Even though I'm 78, it doesn't
mean that I've stopped.

Er...

Thank you.

I want to learn and to know
more about the place

that I can call my own.



Is there a river near here?

This is the river that you can...
Where's the water?

We've got to get the water to come.

Now on the final leg, I'm hitching
a lift to the McArthur River Mine

in the Gulf of Carpentaria.

Taking this famous book published
more than 50 years ago, as my guide.

This book wasn't altogether...

..approving "the lucky country".

Like a lot of people, I thought
The Lucky Country described a land

bountiful in natural resources.

But the author, Donald Horne,
used the term ironically.

He believed Australian leaders
in the 1960s

were second rate, and the country
owed its prosperity to luck...

..not anything people really did
for themselves.



So, I'm travelling from
the Northern Territory...

Maybe I should move back
a bit, hey?

..to Queensland...

I've had a lovely time so far.

..and along the coast...

Heads down.

WHISTLE

..to discover what "the lucky
country" means to people now.

CHANTING

And whether we think our luck
is about to run out?

Mine included.

Blimey O'Reilly!

Is he a learner driver?

I've come to the wild and remote
top end of Australia...

..to see for myself, where some
of the vast natural wealth

of the lucky country comes from.

The McArthur River Mine is one
of the largest lead, zinc

and silver mines in the world.

I don't like what I know of mining.

To me, it's tearing the goodness
out of the ground

for our own selfish pleasures.

So I'm not sure how I'll go
over with the miners.

Pleased to meet you,
I'm Kenny, hello.

Hi, Kenny, I'm Miriam.

How are you going, mate? Leah.

Hi, Leah, nice to meet you.

Hello. Max.

Max, hello.

I'm getting good at clambering.

There we are.

Right! Right!

What do you all do?

He drives bulldozers.

I drive graders.

I work in fleet control, so
I control the fleet in the pit.

And do you stay all the year round?

Two weeks on and two weeks...
Two weeks on and two weeks off?

And it's quite highly paid,
isn't it?

Well, we do a lot of hours
in that fortnight...

We do 164 hours.

Which takes most people a month,
like normal jobs.

I don't care much about mining.

You know, you're digging into
the Earth and leaving a mess

and then digging bigger
holes and bigger holes.

And that to me is rather unpleasant.

I was at a party one night
and this lady came over to me,

she poked me in the chest, and she
said, "You know what?

"I hate mining, I hate what
you people do."

And I said, "How'd you get
here today then,

"if you hate mining?" She said,
"In a car."

I said, "Well, where did that
come from?"

And I knew her house, and her house
has got a Zincalume roof,

which has probably come from out
of our hole over here.

Is that Colorbond?

Is that...? Colorbond, exactly.

Is that from zinc? Yeah. Yes.

I didn't know that.

The whole house is held together...
My house is Colorbond, so...

..I depend on you for my walls
and my roof?

We probably dug up what you live in.

Kenny and I might be coming at
things from opposite directions,

but he's right.

It's a bit rich for me to rubbish
mining when I'm the owner

of a zinc aluminium roof.

When we built our own house,
I didn't really think

about where all the stuff
was coming from.

My hands are as dirty
as anyone else's.

But I think we do have to realise
that actions have consequences.

Kenny's offered to show me what
it's like to live as a fly-in,

fly-out miner.

So this is home for half the year.

Might be a little bit of my clothes
and things hanging around.

Oh, well, that's all right,

you weren't expecting an inspection.

Welcome aboard.

They make your bed.

Perfect timing. Today was
cleaning day.

Yeah, I can sit on it now. Yeah.

Oh, it's comfy, yeah.

They're not too bad, yeah.

So it's only a small wardrobe, but
then you don't need much, do you?

No, well, the thing is, and you
don't need to see my undies,

but because we travel so much...

I'd be grateful not to, actually.

How many panties do you bring
with you?

I have to bring 14, it's 14 days.

Well, I'm very glad you're
particular about changing. Yeah.

You know, because it's important
to change every day.

It's a long, hard, hot,
sweaty sort of a job.

So it's a vital piece of equipment
out here, really.

Our windows, you might notice...

..are all blacked out with alfoil.

Why is that?

Because when we do night shift,
you have to sleep during the day.

You've no complaints about your
living accommodation?

No, everything's great.

But I thought it was very tidy.

Oh, look, that's the beginning
of the sunset, isn't it?

Yes, we do get some beautiful
sunsets out here.

It feels a bit like a kind of
upmarket prison, really. Tough.

They've got to be tough
to be here.

I'm not that tough.

Morning, I'm Sam Strohmayr.

Sam, good to see you.
Lovely to meet you, how are you?

Are you in charge of me?

At this point, yes, I am.

It's 6am, and I'm about
to be taken for my first ever

look at an open cut mine.

That'll do.

Right, you're looking the part.

Well, what that part is,
I'm not quite sure.

But still... I'll leave that
up to you. OK.

It's a 2km drive from
the camp to the mine.

There we go.

You've landed. I've landed.

Oh, my God.

That's huge.

Yeah.

And this goes on day and night?

Day and night, 24 hours a day.

Wow!

Can't get over the size of it.

If everything's going OK, we move
about 100,000 tonnes of...

..rock per day.

100,000 tonnes?

100,000 tonnes. Every day?

Every day.

This deposit actually is actually
called the HYC deposit.

It stands for Here's Your Chance.

So, legend goes, or story goes
that the geologists

were sitting around the campfire
and said, "What are we going

"to call this?"

And one geologist said to other
one, "Here's your chance."

So it's the HYC deposit.

Is this why we're in the lucky
country, do you think?

I think it is, I mean, I think
mining and farming

and all the resources that we have
in Australia has made us,

you know, to where we are today.

We're a very lucky country
in that respect.

But what happens when the luck
runs out?

That's the thing about mining,
I mean, these things are finite.

We'll be mining for 20 years,
we're then going to replace

the tailings from this place
for another ten years,

but this will eventually finish.

But there are lots of explorers
going on looking for the next

McArthur River as well.

Where is the river, at...?

The McArthur River, where is it?

It's actually over to our
right side.

And did it get in the way
of the mining?

Yeah, it did. We had to move it.

You moved the river?

What do you mean? A portion
of the river.

We had to divert around
the open cut.

Did that cause local disturbance?

Yes, absolutely.

I mean, some people would not
have liked that.

No, absolutely, that was the case.

And there's some people that still
will never forgive us for that.

Have you had problems
with the river?

No, we haven't, I mean, we've...

The health of the McArthur River
is excellent.

So it's tested often?
Ah, look, all the time.

And we're going to go down
and we'll show you some

of the work we're doing.

What has happened here?

To your left-hand side
is a man-made diversion.

What you're seeing is all the work
we've been doing to return it

to look like the right-hand side.

These trees and these sticks are
actually left over from a cyclone

that we had come through here
earlier this year.

We had quite a few trees
in the camp got knocked over.

So what we do is we place all
of these trees

into the river, and you can see some
larger logs over there

that we placed previously. Yeah.

And what that starts to do is create
a little hidy-hole

for the small fish to live in.

And that's how you start to get
the diversity and the abundance

of fish life back in the river.

That's the end of it, is it?

So here we are, the end,
where we began.

This is a little memento,
if you'd like?

This is our concentrate.

This is the product that all
that mining and digging holes

and processing ends up as.

Well, I don't think I can take it
with me because it's very heavy.

And it looks as if I'm carrying
my grandparents' ashes.

But it's powder isn't it?

Yes, I mean, you can actually...

This is entirely safe, but you can
get a sense of the erm...

..of the consistency
of the product we make.

And turns in...
And that's my roof?

That's your roof at your
lovely house.

How extraordinary.

I was impressed by the efforts...

..that they'd made to redeem the
harm they've done to the land.

But forcing a river into another
route seems extreme to me.

I'm troubled by what that does
to the people who live round there.

I'm on my way to the nearest town,

60km downstream from the mine.

I'm curious to know how they feel
about the mine.

Welcome to Borroloola.

Well, that's bloody good news...

..as I'm getting hungry.

This is my last stop before I head
out into hundreds of kilometres

of absolute wilderness, en route
to one of the most remote

cattle stations in the country,
Seven Emu.

I'm just going to a place
that doesn't have anything.

So I thought I'd better get
some things that I've run

out of so that I can survive.

Ha-ha.

Good morning. Can I put
things on here? Yeah.

How are you today?

I'm going to Seven Emu.

Ah, Seven Emu's all right.
Do you know it?

Yeah, good place.

Hello. Hello.

Would I be able to get your
autograph, Madam?

Mine? Sure.

I want to ask about the mine.

Is the water safe to drink?

Erm, I don't know much.

Would you drink it?

Sometimes I drink rainwater.

Rainwater's more better.

You prefer the rainwater?

You'd rather not drink
the river water? Nah.

I don't think I'll take any chances.

OK, thank you, see you.

I'm reading about the pollution...

..that the mine effluent has caused
in the McArthur River.

It seems opinion about the open
cut mine is divided.

Some experts say it's safe.

But others, including many
locals, are convinced

it's damaging the environment.

It's very hard to live ethically.

But I'm still aware that the mine
provides jobs for people...

..who need jobs, money.

It's just hard for me...

..to be happy about it.

I've left my motorhome
at Borroloola,

because I need a four-wheel
drive out here.

I've organised to meet one
of the biggest property owners

in the region.

Hello.

I'm Frank. I'm Miriam.

How are you?

Good to see you.

Hello. Clary.

That's Clary, me son.

He's your son? Yeah.

Well, we've got an hour
drive to Seven Emu.

I hope you're going to do
the driving.

Frank knows this country well,
so he's taking the wheel

for the remaining 100km
trip to his home.

We're going now to Seven Emu.

Place similar to a farm,
but it's a bit bigger.

How big?

888 square miles.

Blimey...

That's huge.

888 square miles,

that's 2,300 square kilometres.

Frank's property is bigger than
some small European countries.

How do you take care of something
that big?

Most of it, it'll look after itself.

Have you got dogs?

No.

We've got a pet emu.

Aren't they quite cantankerous
birds? Yeah, they're all right.

He might like you.

Might I give as good as I get,
do you think? I think so.

Frank's father was a drover,

who owned a few hundred
head of cattle.

He bought Seven Emu in the 1950s.

I'd like to know, Frank, how your
dad was able to get this station?

Well, he backed a horse
in the Caulfield Cup, which won.

Really? Yeah, and he backed
a horse in the Melbourne Cup,

and the horse was called Wodalla,

and he won a fair bit
of money on it.

I know Australians will gamble
on anything,

but what an amazing stroke of luck.

Frank's father bet his life savings
on a couple of horse races.

COMMENTATOR: Half a furlong,

Most Regal and Wodalla
are going to fight it out.

Wodalla's got his head in front
near the post,

and Wodalla wins it,
from Most Regal, My Hero, third,

fourth was...

And his winnings bought him this
extraordinary piece of the gulf

with its own pristine rivers
and 55km of coastline.

What is your achievement?

It's to go to bed and to
wake up in the morning.

MIRIAM CHUCKLES

I'm going to have to deal
with you, Frank. I can see that.

I'm starting to get the hang
of Frank's dry sense of humour.

But running Seven Emu can't be easy.

Frank tells me that
just six months ago,

the entire place was flattened
by a cyclone.

There was one shed here. See this,
here? There was a shed here.

It was blown down? Blown down.

There's another one on that side.

Gosh.

That would break my heart.

There was one over there.

This was away over on that side.

Well, it's very peaceful,
and it's very beautiful,

and I hope that you do get it
restored the way that you want it.

Yeah.

Clearly, Frank's not one to dwell
on bad luck, or ask for sympathy.

Anyway, we can't keep you standing
all day.

No. I shall go and sit in that
little van of mine.

OK.

Thanks for coming out, Miriam.

Sleep tight.

BIRD SHRIEKS

Good morning. Good morning.
How are you?

Good to see you. Sit down.

Oh, that's good. Thank you.

A bit like Sydney, or England?

You know, it's not like Sydney!

It's like a different... World.

Different world, yeah. Yeah?

I'm thinking about this phrase,
"The Lucky Country",

which is Australia.

Oh.

I don't think so. I think it's
being owned by China now.

We're selling everything
to China and Japan.

We're selling meat to Philippines.

Why can't we have our own meat work
here?

So how can we be a lucky country?

Would you be able to buy
a block in China?

I would doubt it.

Yeah, well, why are Australians
selling country to China?

Well, that's something.. Or Japan?
..you have to ask the politicians.

I think they should make a jail
in the Simpson Desert

and put all the politicians in
there.

That will put a bit of common sense
in them.

You cultivate this place
in a very special way.

Yeah, we don't use any chemical,

and that's the way
we SHOULD be living.

So many people are dying of cancer,
you know,

and all that other stuff.

For me, being here is both exciting
and rather overwhelming.

But for Frank and his mob,
it's just another working day.

They've got 1,800 head of cattle
that have to be branded and tagged.

COW MOOS

You all right, Miriam?

I'm not sure about that.

It's painful.

Don't you think it's cruel? No.

If people didn't eat meat,
you wouldn't have to do this.

Well, we've got to eat meat.
You DON'T have to eat meat.

I do. You do not.

Oh, yeah.

There's people that eat veggies

and there's people that eat meat.

There's all types of society.

LOUD BANG

Jesus!

COWS MOO

Maybe I should move back a bit, hey?

MIRIAM LAUGHS

I don't know if I've just
had a very lucky escape...

I think that wind caught it.

..but I'm not taking
any more chances.

I want to be away from the
action for a bit.

THE MEN LAUGH

No-one else seems
the least bit bothered.

Well, that was exciting.

You're moving like you're 17,
not 70. Just like a gazelle!

Thank you. Thanks for coming in.

It's been a pleasure. It's been
incredibly important to me.

Thank you very much. Was it? Yep.

Thank you for the welcome

and for letting us
come and meet you all.

Thanks so much. No worries.
Thanks, Miriam.

Nice to meet you. Bye-bye. See you!

Since leaving home,
I've been places

and done things I previously
would have thought impossible,

and I've been overwhelmed
by the beauty of the territory.

Get off!

But I'm struggling with the insects,

the heat and the distances.

It's quite tough, actually.

I mean, it is very beautiful
and everything, but, crikey...

..it's just exhausting.

I may be a long way
out of my comfort zone,

but there are compensations.

This is the thing I shall remember,

not the discomfort,

but this...

..and I'm not sure I could get
this anywhere but in Australia.

This is very special.

Every experience I've had
has taught me that I know nothing.

I don't know how to cook.

I don't know how to live
independently off the land.

Australia teaches us all how,

how small man is,

how young,

how childlike,

how stupid.

Because it's an old place,
Australia.

It's taken several days,

and a 4,500km journey,

but I finally exchange
the outback dust

for the suburban sprawl of Brisbane,
Queensland,

and a boutique hotel.

I'm even indulging
in a little pampering.

Tonight, I've been invited to dinner
with the owners of this hotel.

The Turners are one of Australia's
wealthiest couples.

I don't feel comfortable
with people of great wealth.

And that is a kind of prejudice,
I suppose.

Hello. Welcome, Miriam!

I'm Miriam. Yeah, I'm Jude.

Nice to meet you.
Welcome to Australia...

Thank you very much.

..and our little part of Brisbane.
It's lovely. I'm Skroo, Miriam.

What's your name? Skroo.

Skroo? Yeah. Yeah.

Is that what Mummy christened you?

No, I'm afraid she didn't, no.

Would you like to have a seat?

Yeah, that'd be lovely.

What's the Skroo thing?

Where does that come from,
if I may ask?

I went to boarding school
when I was 15.

When I got there, there was
a housemaster called Turner,

and they called him... Oh, I see.
..Screwdriver,

and there used to be a
Turner brand of screwdriver,

so I was sort of "little screw",

so I just got the Skroo.

That was it.
Were you born into money?

Not really. I was... I... My parents
were in an apple orchard.

My mum was a local teacher.

What is your business, actually?

You do what?
Have you heard of Flight Centre?

Yes, I have.

We're a public company.

Right, and you're the CEO of that,
are you? Yep.

Do you pay taxes?

Yes, we pay taxes
all over the world, I believe, yeah.

I'm just checking.

Can I ring my CFO? You'd better!

THEY LAUGH

Skroo made his fortune by riding
the adventure travel wave

of the 1970s.

After running a fleet of buses
along the hippie trail,

he began a travel company

that's now a multibillion-dollar
global business.

I'm discovering Australia,
as I go on this journey of mine,

and it's very different from
the Australia that I first came to

40 years ago.

Is Australia turning out
the way you hoped?

Do you think it's
a lucky country, still?

When I was growing up, there was
probably nine or ten million people.

Now there's 24.

We have an interesting wildlife,

and the destruction of habitat
has just been so enormous here.

The damage that's been done
by cattle and sheep

to a lot of the native perennials,
and that, is... You know,

it'll take a long time to come back.

So you're conservationist
in your mind-set, are you?

We originally bought both the farms

that we now have businesses
like this on,

but we really bought them
for the land.

We're very interested
in the preservation of wildlife

and wildlife habitat.

But in the '50s and '60s,

there was so much more wildlife
around than there is now.

The land is probably a more
important part of Australia

than nationalism and the flag,
and that, to me,

and I just think that we,
as custodians, if you like,

should be looking after it
a lot better than we are.

I love that Skroo and Jude
are so passionate

about Australia's wildlife,

but the irony that Skroo's fortune
is built on the carbon-emitting

flight industry isn't lost on me.

Jude's invited me to their farm
at Hidden Vale,

in the countryside, near Brisbane.

It's where our wildlife
conservation building is,

and I'd like to take you
and show you... I'd love that.

..that tomorrow. I'd love that.
Good. Thank you.

I've got a few hours to spare
before I head off to join Jude

in the country,
so I'm exploring Brisbane's CBD.

I can see they're kangaroos.

Whoops!

It's a little bit of a muddle to me,
because they all look Greek,

the people without clothes,

with a cow and a kangaroo.

This 1930s frieze on the city hall
celebrates man's triumphant progress

from the glories of ancient Greece
to the wonders of the New World

in Queensland.

But if what's happening
down the road at Parliament House

is anything to go by...

CHANTING: What do we want?
CLIMATE ACTION!

When do we want it? NOW!

..progress means very different
things to different people,

these days.

CHANTING: COAL! DON'T DIG IT!

LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND,
IT'S TIME TO GET WITH IT!

These kids come here every Friday
on a school strike

to raise awareness
about climate change.

I'm Miriam. Hi, I'm Gina.

It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

How old are you? I'm 15.

Is it a growing movement?

Yeah, definitely.

The strike in Brisbane last year
in November had 1,500,

and in March it had 10,000 people.

What would be the first step
you hope for in Australia?

Recognition from our politicians.

A lot of them have
their heads in the sand

and think that we should
be in school.

You've heard that phrase,
"The Lucky Country"?

What does that phrase
specifically depict, like?

It was one that was used in a book
in the '60s, rather critically,

actually, of Australia, saying
that it's run by second-rate people.

Yeah. It's got all these resources,
and it THINKS it's lucky,

but it's not REALLY that lucky.

Australia, as a country, is unlucky,
because we're so set in our ways,

and we find change really difficult,

because it means doing something
out of our comfort zone.

But changes only occur
when we get out of our comfort zone,

and we can't move
past this if we don't accept

that what we've been doing
all this time has been not the best.

It's not been the best idea
and it's not been the best

for our land and for our people.

CHANTING: No more compromising!
The people are rising!

My heart is totally with them,

but I don't know if we're ever
going to get through to the people

with power who can effect a change.

No more compromising!

OTHERS: The people are rising!

But, as long as you face
the difficulties,

in the end, I think
we can deal with them.

But if you pretend they're not
there...

..you're doomed. And you're doomed
individually and as a nation.

I'm hoping that a visit
to the Wildlife Research Centre

will give me hope for the future
of this lucky country.

It's very different
from Northern Territory.

It somehow looks tamed.

Man has been here and sorted
it out a bit.

And we'll find out whether that's
a good thing or not.

The Turner family runs this centre,
in partnership with

the University of Queensland,
80km west of Brisbane.

Oh, Miriam! Hello, Jude.

Gosh, this is something. I'm so
pleased you made the effort

to come all the way... I'll
introduce you to Dr Andrew Tribe...

How do you do? ..Who's in charge of
our wildlife centre.

I'm Miriam. Very pleased to meet
you. Pleased to meet you.

Now, what I want to do is take
you down and show you one

of our wildlife projects in the
wild. Let's do it. I want to.

Andrew and Jude are taking me
to see their koala project.

Andrew tells me that, over the last
20 years, the koala population

in parts of Australia has declined
by as much as 80%.

Rampant urbanisation and ever
more extreme bushfires are

pushing this iconic animal
to the very edge of extinction.

And koalas also carry a sexually
transmitted disease

called chlamydia.

That's what they're tackling here.

We have an interesting population.

It's quite a healthy population,
compared with others

in southeast Queensland.

We have a lower incidence
of chlamydia-infected koalas

than you'd normally expect to find.
That's encouraging. It is.

And maybe they're resistant. Maybe
they are.

That's one of the things
we want to find out.

And then you could bottle that
and...

Yeah, well, certainly we'd
need to understand it.

..and inoculate the others.
Yes.

Andrew monitors around 20 koalas
across 40 square kilometres

using electronic tags.

Each koala has its own frequency.

And the one we're going
for is a koala called Mara.

AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: So we're going to
Mara!

OK, Sorry about that. Hopefully, it
won't take us that long!

But who knows?

She should be in this direction.

I'm told ten-year-old Mara is quite
remarkable,

because she's almost certainly had
sex with infected males,

but she's not picked up chlamydia
herself.

There's no snakes and things.
No, no, you're right.

You're safe. OK. Yes,

and if we say that confidently
enough, we'll be right.

As long as they know
that they're not here.

A kind of delightful medley
of shit.

Yeah. Ooh, I can hear...

You can see what?

I mean, I can't see anything, but I
can hear...

Listen to that clear signal.
She must be in this direction.

WHISPERS: I can see her.

Oh, yes! Oh, God.

Can you see the two little heads?
Bless!

She has her joey, who is about eight
months... Clutched to her.

..on her stomach. Oh, look! Ah.

The joey's out of the pouch now.

Aw. I can turn off our tracking
device.

Because we've found her. Because
we've found her, yes.

That really
worked. I know. Bloody hell!

I'm relieved.

I can't believe it!

And she, you see, is
sitting on a nice blue gum -

that smooth-barked blue gum. Yeah.

And, like Mara, her little
joey is chlamydia-free.

It's early days yet, but
this could be great news

for the future of koalas.

We have a tradition here, Miriam,
where we give them names of people

we know. Oh, my goodness! Real
persons.

We haven't yet named her joey.

What shall we call...?

Well, I think we should
call this joey Miriam. Well...

Yes, you can! Why not?

It's called Mara,
and Mara doesn't mind. No.

Well, I suppose... Would you mind?

Well, I'm...!

It's the most extraordinary thing

anyone's ever said to me. What an
honour.

No, it is an honour.

It is.

WITH KISSING NOISES: Hello, Miriam!

Ah, it makes me cry. It's so...

It's so wonderful.

I feel as if a little bit of me
is left here.

Yes.

You're doing something
for the land - both of you.

Your legacy is to... to let it
continue.

That's what your... Well, yeah.
..your aim...

Encourage it to. Yes, so,
in fact there are more

for the next generation,
rather than less.

Bye, Mara. Bye, Miriam.

Just the idea of having a wild
creature named for you

is a...

It's an unexpected joy.

And, also, this place and...

..the beauty
and stillness of it.

It's...

It's a great land, isn't it?

There's still a lot to learn
on the last few days

of my Australian journey.

I'm on my way to the Sunshine Coast,

before I start on the long road
south back home.

But first I'm trying to do my
small bit for the environment.

Don't know where this comes from,
this water.

Could have been pissed up the road.

CAR HORN BLARES

G'day!

Are you OK there? Yeah.

I'm OK. You need help
with anything?

This is where I've got to fill
up my bottles,

so that I'm not... What
are you doing?

What's that?

They're our bulls. We're part
of a variety bash travelling

around Queensland, raising money
for disadvantaged children.

Just the two of you?

No, no! There's probably 105 cars
in the bash.

300 people - more than 300 people.
Oh, that's wonderful.

And you're raising money
for children's charities?

Children in need.

Read that thing where it says
M-A-C-K-A-Y to Gold Coast.

So that's where we started -
in Mackay... "Mac-koi!"

That's what I was waiting
for you to say - "Mackoi".

IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:
You started in Mackay!

I love it.

And we're going to
the Gold Coast.

In AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: The Gold
Coast. All right!

I'm very interested in your accent.

You go up like that, at the end
of the sentence.

You actually speak a little bit
funny to us, too.

I know, I have an accent, too.
A real Pommy accent.

It is a real Pommy accent.

We think that we speak normal.

We think you're speaking a little
bit posh.

You speak normally
for an Australian.

But it's interesting to me,
because it's a different music.

You'll be having us very conscious
of how we speak. No, don't be!

It's lovely.
I'm not making fun of it,

I'm learning. I'm learning.

That's the point. It's wonderful.

And have you got jobs? What's that
say? Have we got jobs?!

Yeah... Yes. We're
farmers. We raise cattle.

THEY LAUGH

What...?

IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: You're talking
to me as if I'm bloody dumb.

And I probably am. I'm worried about
how I speak!

Don't be, don't be.

You're going to have us talking
tonight with a plum in our mouth.

So would you like
to come and meet some more bashers?

Sure.

It's a sort of holiday park.

Oh, Lordy!

Not my cup of tea.

CAR HORNS TOOT

Some of these people have been doing
the bash for 20 years

and their cars have been built
especially for a bash car.

Is that a water bag?

That might be a sheep's tail.

Blimey. Old McDonald's farm,
here.

People really have gone
to trouble to make this special,

haven't they?

It's one of the rules of the bash
that all the cars must be at least

30 years old.

And it seems another prerequisite
is dressing up and having fun.

If you call dressing up
like this fun.

I just can't understand

why they have to drive such
petrol-guzzling, old, rust buckets.

DRIVER REVS ENGINE

You fucking idiot!

I'm recovering from being farted
at by a car.

Oh. Terrible!
What an idiot.

But you weren't farted at by
just any car,

that was actually the Pieman.
I don't care who it was.

He's very popular on the bash,
because he warms up his pies

by the heat off the exhaust
of the car.

And then we stop up the road
up there somewhere

and we'll get some pies from him.

Well, I need to get over myself
a bit and join in.

OK, you ready to go?
Ready to go. Woohoo!

Let's go! The ride of a lifetime.

CAR HORN TOOTS

Bye!

We'll be driving in convoy
for hundreds of kilometres today.

Radio check, radio check.
Miss Margolyes speaking.

And please can the car in front go
slightly less quickly.

MAN ON RADIO: Sure.
WITH AUSSIE ACCENT: Lovely jubbly,

thank you very much.

I like having a chauffeur. This is
the part we love.

This is driving out. Every day, we
go on different roads

that we've never been on before.

Do you think Australia's
a lucky country?

Oh, I sure do.

I think, because of the open
air, the spaces,

the beaches. You
don't realise

how lucky a country Australia
is until you travel

out of the country.

And it's a lucky country, indeed,

when the bashers get together
to help the less fortunate.

Last year, we raised 1.3
million. Over 1.3 million.

Oh, my goodness.

And Wendy and I were the highest
fundraisers last year.

We, ourselves, personally, raised
over $100,000.

Don't you feel proud? Sure do.

And the year... Wow. And the year
before, we raised 126,000.

And you'll love this bit.

We actually raised money
by running a semen auction.

So, how that works... Tell me.

..the bulls - the Brahman cattle...
Oh, bulls!

I've got it! Yes, bull semen
auction.

You left out that bit!

What about the rest of the people
on this extravaganza,

are they all farmers? No, no.

It's amazing.

The thing that we love about
the bash is that once you get

on the bash, everyone is the same.

There's no judgment.

There's no society - high society -
stuff that happens.

Everyone is just a basher.

And there will be doctors,
lawyers.

We will have multi-millionaires
on this bash

and you wouldn't even
know who they were.

And it seems everyone on the bash
is taken care of - even me.

I've had a lovely time, so far, and
I'm just so glad I've got a toilet.

I don't want to go in the bushes
and squat and get snakes up my arse.

This is perfect.

Here we go.

There we are.

Now, the best bit, you put
some water in it.

There we go.

All done. As long
as you've got water,

you see - that's the thing
I don't just like to pee into...

I've got to have a bit of water
to pee into.

In ropey cars, over hundreds
of kilometres,

across rough country roads, the
bashers' creed is

nobody ever gets left behind.

And, as we catch up to some
of the others,

it's our turn to help.

Is there anything that we can do?

I think we've found out
it's bubbling. Bubbling?

I'm hopeless at this sort of thing.

Luckily, we have lots of helpers
along on the bash.

I mean, the cars are old,
aren't they?

Well, are you surprised?
Here we go,

we've got a... I'm fixing it.

Yeah? Oh, it's being fixed
up by Bubbles. There you go.

I can fix it in no time.
For a start,

we've got too many of these
things in here.

Hey, don't throw them out! Hey,
look out!

Have you run out of petrol? Not
another bloody expert!

Does he always shout like that?

Always.

WOMAN: Are you going
to put wire in it?

Why are you all here?

Why do you do this? Do you get
pleasure out of it? Definitely.

Oh, yeah, definitely. It's
great fun.

I think the men are giving space
to their feminine side.

Oh, definitely, definitely.
LAUGHTER

Definitely. Oh, they love dressing
up as women.

Seriously.

But we all love a drag act, don't
we?

I mean, everybody loves a drag act.
Not only that, you become

a different person and a different
personality comes out,

and it's just so amazing to see.

IN AUSSIE ACCENT: I think it's
the carburettor myself.

LAUGHTER

ENGINE TURNS

CHEERING

Woohoo!

Told you!

Well done, Miriam, well done.

That was all your help and
advice. It was nothing.

High five!

It's loud and slightly crazy,

but, finally, I get the
point of these old cars.

It really does make you understand

it's all for one and
one for all.

And that we're only as lucky
as each other.

Thank you very, very much.
Yeah. I learned a lot.

Thank you so much for travelling
with us.

I'll take my hat off to you. OK.

Our pleasure.
It's been our pleasure. Yeah.

Wonderful. Yeah. You take care.
I've learned a lot, actually.

And I've had fun.

CAR HORN TOOTS

Bye, love! Have a great bash.

Amazing.

There's an Arabic saying - the
soul moves at the pace of a camel.

And here I've been haring
around at the pace of a mad thing.

At the age of 78!

I'm missing Heather, my partner.
It's much colder, sometimes,

than I expected it to be.

And those nearest and dearest
no longer here.

I'm on the last leg of my journey,

which has taken me a very long way
into Australia

and around it,
and I'm trying to...

..work towards a conclusion
about what it is to be

Australian.

I'm heading to my final stop
at the Gold Coast,

or the Goldie,
as I've heard it called.

Well, I'm coming into what I can see
is a mass of skyscrapers.

I feel angry about it, because
they're spoiling,

with these great structures -

these dead, white, greedy fingers
pointing up into the sky.

The scale of change since I first
started coming to Australia

in the '80s is mind-boggling.

Right.

Oh, what a lovely morning.

But, at least, the
spectacular beaches haven't changed.

And they've given rise to an Aussie
institution...

Oh, is it...? What's happening here?

..that's brought this bunch
of oldies together.

I'm going to bloody well sit down.
So there you go.

You take a seat You enjoy.

I'm Miriam. I'm Terry. Pleased to
meet you. Nice to meet you, Terry.

And have you been life-savers
all your lives? Yes, basically.

Since I was 13. Wow.

The whole of my life, really,
has been spent in the surf club.

I want to know why
it's so Australian, the surf thing.

85% of Australia's
population live within

a two-hour drive from the coast.

So surfing, swimming in the surf,

it's a natural thing to do,

because we live on the coast. And
getting into a club like this

teaches you how to integrate
with people, how to socialise,

and this is so important.

That is important.

I must say, I'm a little bit
envious.

That is the fluffiest little person.

I can't help wondering
how growing up by the sea

might have influenced me.

May I sit here? Yes.

Thank you.

What a beautiful day. Yes.

Is this your little boy?
Yes.

He's my son Rubin.
Hello, Rubin.

Say hello.

He doesn't want to talk to me, he
wants to go...

You want to go to in the water,
don't you? Yes.

Tejinder tells me she
came here from a little village

in India, 11 years ago.

And you've got one child?

No, We've got two. My eldest is six.

She's under-seven nippers, this
year. Oh, she's one of the nippers.

Yes. I've heard about them. Yes.

Yes, that's her second year
doing some board training.

When did you first see the ocean?
In 2008,

when I came to Australia.

You never saw it before? No,

never. I only saw it in
Bollywood movies.

Tell me about that first time.

I was like, "Wow, that is real!"

And go and put my feet...
I can't swim.

Still can't swim.
I put my feet in.

And I have a little bit... like,
feel the water,

and I just sit down on the sand

and I feel so much calm
and I feel relaxed.

What about your husband?
Does he know how to swim? Yes.

He's doing his bronze.
So he's going through...

What does that mean?
He will be a certified helper,

or water-safety guard.

So he will do the same thing,
patrolling and looking

after the kids when they're doing
nippers -

giving back to the community.

So it's a big part of your life,
then, the ocean?

Yes, yes.
From being nothing. Nothing!

Never seen and, now... Suddenly,
it's important.

Now it's part of the beach
all the time.

And you feel an Australian?
Yes. Yes, I do.

What does that mean? Being
Australian, I can say,

you are lucky.
You have an excess of everything.

I feel like I'm free here.

You feel free? I feel
free to do whatever I want to do,

whatever path I want to choose,
or my kids want to choose,

there is no restriction.

That's lovely to hear. Thank you.
Thank you, so much.

Where's your husband?

That's him, and my daughter.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. My name is Miriam.
Hi, Miriam, I'm Brett.

This is Roisin.
Now, you're an Australian.

Yes, I'm born here.
Fifth generation Australian

on my mum's side.
You're swimming? Are you?

I'm wet.

Is it cold?

What does the sea mean to you?

Happiness. Lots of memories.

And the kids are loving it, aren't
they? Yeah.

So we try and come to the beach
to make memories.

It's one thing about Australia,
we're lucky to have

so many beautiful beaches. Lucky
country for you, eh?

It is. Definitely.

You've got to teach Tejinder.
Got to teach her to swim.

Yeah, we're working on that one,
too. Would you like to come along

and see what the nippers are doing?
I would. I would like to.

WHISTLE BLOWS Go, go!

All right, everyone, this is
Miriam. Say g'day, Miriam.

ALL: G'day, Miriam!

So is this good fun?
ALL: Yes!

And how often do you come here?

ALL SHOUT ANSWERS

Hush up, hush up!

We do every Sunday, Saturday,
Wednesday and Tuesday.

So you really love it?

CHILDREN: Yes!

Would you like to start the
next race for us?

OK.

Feet together. Feet together!

Heads down!

WHISTLE

Come on!

Run, run, run, run, run!

You're a natural.

Natural bossy!

I'm a schoolteacher myself.

Those kids at Burleigh Heads,
their faces were open.

Their faces were like
mirrors of the sea.

CHANTING: Burleigh! Burleigh!

Slow, walk, go!

And they danced
towards the waves.

And I hobbled along with them.

Go!

Their youth and vitality
were infectious.

And they gave me energy, and that's
what Australia's done for me.

It's given me a new lease of life.

I came as an old lady

and I'm getting younger and younger
the longer I live here.

SHE GASPS

Blimey!

That is cold!

Ah, you chicken! Hello, Pete.
You chicken!

How are you?

Look, you're surrounded by youth.

Yes, and they're lovely. Fantastic.
Yes.

CHILDREN CHEER

The sea is a god.
The ocean, Neptune.

I mean, people worship the sea.

The sea is giving life to people,
it's...

And it gives life to me.

And all the people in Australia

become one when they come
to the sea.

I'm on the home stretch of my
journey.

I've been on the road for two months

and I've travelled 10,000km

to try and discover my place
in The Lucky Country.

For sure,
Australia has been lucky for me.

It has been

the injection
of... of new beauties,

new people.

Here I am, back home where I began,
in Robertson,

with all kinds of memories competing
for attention.

I think Australia is a complex
and majestic place -

the place of extraordinary
beauty, of great generosity.

Yeah!

I met people who came with nothing

and have so much now.

This is what I want.

And I've met people
who still have nothing.

I want Australia to become kinder

and more prosperous.

For me, Australia will always be
just beyond my comprehension.

It's complicated.

So, after everything that's happened
to me and everything I've observed

on this amazing journey of mine, do
I feel almost Australian?

Hm.

Almost.

You are now an Australian citizen.

It's only, er...
It's 10 o'clock in the morning.

How are you planning to spend
your first Australia Day

as an Australian?

Probably eating.

That's a good Australian tradition.
Anything else?

Well, the Australian tradition
is drinking, isn't it?

But I'm not so much of a drinker.
As you see, I'm an eater,

and, er, had a lovely
curry last night.

Hope you can't smell it.

And, um, I'm just very happy to be
here and I will be with friends

and the rest of my life
will be joyous.