Miracle Workers (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Road Trip - full transcript
[ Rooster crows ]
♪♪
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
[ Hammer banging ]
♪♪
♪ Working hard every day ♪
♪ But life stays the same ♪
♪ Can't bring a man down ♪
♪ But a feeling drives me on ♪
♪ Keeps my world turned 'round ♪
♪ I won't be satisfied ♪
♪ There's a hurricane
I was born to ride ♪
♪ It's taking me
straight to the top ♪
♪ I want to run
where the eagles fly ♪
♪ Never gonna stop till I find
my place in the sky ♪
♪ Taking it
straight to the top ♪
♪ When you're reaching
for the glory ♪
[ Music stops ]
So, I took a look at your taxes,
and there's actually
this one cute little loophole
where you can write off
all your banquets
as long as you claim
the peasants as dependents.
-Oh, wow.
-No one will ever know.
And that's just allowed?
Eh, they never check.
-[Bleep] me.
-Mm-hmm.
♪ Straight to the top ♪
♪ I want to run
where the eagles fly ♪
♪ Never gonna stop till I find
my place in the sky ♪
[ Horn blows ]
Man: Revolution!
[ Indistinct shouting,
glass shatters ]
♪ When you're reaching
for the glory ♪
♪ You will never die ♪
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Flies buzzing ]
♪♪
♪ I've gone down
that road again ♪
♪ I've been there before,
though want to know more ♪
♪ It's always been ♪
♪♪
♪♪
[ Metal clangs ]
[ Chicken squawks ]
Cragnoor: News from our enemies,
Lord Vexler.
I have just received word
from the Valdrogians
that they
wish to sue for peace.
Congratulations,
Your Grace.
It was not my victory
alone.
I must send a royal emissary
to discuss
the terms
of their surrender.
I am choosing you
to represent our kingdom.
I'm honored.
An honor you have earned
many times over.
There is but one catch.
My Liege, I swore to serve you
no matter the cost.
I am willing to lay down
my life.
You've got to take him.
♪ Do the Chauncley! ♪
[Bleep]
♪ Do-do-do-do the Chauncley! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do the Chauncley! ♪
Any legal treaty requires
a royal witness, so...
[ Beatboxing ]
I know.
It sucks.
Oh, it'll be nice to get out
of Lower Murkford for a bit.
You and me, Vexler,
road dogs.
Do you really need
to pack all this stuff?
Oh, I always over-pack.
I figure, first things first,
we just go to the room,
relax for a bit,
maybe go to the beach,
but I don't want us
to have to follow a schedule.
We're on vacation.
No, this is not
a vacation.
It's a high-stakes
diplomatic mission.
Yes. One second --
just setting up the music.
Bard, play "Party Mix."
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
♪ We're all at the party,
party, party ♪
Skip.
♪ A bear has a long, long tail ♪
♪ He lives in a -- ♪
Skip.
♪ Party, party, party, ev-- ♪
Stop.
Prince, when we meet
Prince Ya-Shayn,
you need to say
a traditional greeting.
Repeat after me.
[ Speaking Valdrogian ]
Hush may-nah. Hush mah-nu.
I mean, I think
he'll probably speak English.
No, you can't just assume
that everyone speaks English.
Important people do,
though.
First of all, yikes.
Secondly,
I have no record of them
speaking anything other
than ancient Valdrogian.
If you want to survive, you need
to keep your mouth shut.
-You are the expert.
-[ Sighs ]
[ Whip cracks, horse neighs ]
Bard: ♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
Stop.
Remind me again why we're
taking the morning off.
I'll give you two hints.
It's awesome,
and you're gonna love it.
♪♪
What's ShitCon?
Only the biggest event in the
entire shit-shoveling industry.
We're talking info booths
and demos and networking.
-Cool.
-Eddie!
Gary, you son of a bitch,
get over here.
[ Laughs ]
Rebecca, what are you
doing here?
-I thought you died.
-[ Laughs ] No.
-How do you all know each other?
-Are you kidding?
Your dad is the best
damn shoveler in town.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, when termites ate my cart,
he helped me build a new one.
Wow.
Last winter,
when my knee exploded,
he covered my roof for me.
Yeah, and he's not just
good with a shovel.
Your dad is the most fair,
the most honest man
in this business.
Dad, I had no idea
you were so awesome.
I do my best.
[ Trumpets playing ]
[ Indistinct chatter ]
-What's that?
-I don't know.
Ingenuity.
The future.
Disruption.
Move fast.
Break things.
Break the chains.
Today, I present to you a simple
yet revolutionary innovation
that will make the act of
shoveling completely obsolete.
-What the hell is this?
-You're missing it.
Introducing the hole.
[ Audience gasps ]
It's a hole in the ground
that you shit in,
so you just put
the shit in the hole,
and then you don't
have to shovel anything.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Right?
So cool.
I can't believe no one's
thought of that before.
It's really gonna
change things, huh?
♪♪
Vexler:
Remember, follow my lead,
and don't say anything.
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ Metal clanging ]
♪♪
[ Metal scraping ]
♪♪
[ Chains clinking ]
[ Inhales ]
[ Speaking Valdrogian ]
Hey, brah,
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Um, do I know you
from somewhere?
Uh...
Um, I don't --
I don't think so.
Ah, this is killing me.
Um...
[ Clicks tongue ]
Uh, do y-- uh, no.
Do you ever go to
Falcon Island?
Yes, my father has
a stronghold there.
We summer there every year.
I've 100 percent
seen you around.
Wait, were you at Princess
Alison's barbecue last year?
[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.
Yeah. Oh.
Oh, me and Alison
go all the way back.
Me, too. We met at baby ski camp
in the Forbidden Mountains.
My uncle owns
those mountains.
He's the one that made them
forbidden.
This -- This is wild.
[ Laughing ] This is crazy.
So dope.
Aww!
Yeah, man.
Delightful.
Hell yeah.
Come on in.
Man, let's kick it.
Chauncley: Yes.
[ Speaks Valdrogian ]
So, this is the crib.
Wow.
How was the trip, man?
Did you travel private?
Oh, yeah.
That's what's up.
Okay. So, wait, back up.
Your cousin knows my cousin?
No, no, no, my cousin knows
Princess Alison...
-Who's friends with my cousin.
-Yes, exactly.
-Holy shit!
-This is crazy.
Oh, my God.
Lord Vexler, isn't this crazy?
Uh-huh, yeah, it's crazy.
What a coincidence.
Should we return our focus
on the treaty?
Dude, what is up
with your butler?
N-No, I'm --
I'm not a butler.
I'm a lord,
the minister of the realm.
Okay, dude.
[ Laughs ]
Yo, Chauncley,
do you drink blood?
'Cause my dad's got this, like,
sick-ass blood cellar.
[ Scoffs ]
Yeah, I got nothing.
Uh, could we get a bottle
of that '93, please?
Thank you.
[ Laughs ]
It's dumb, huh?
I mean, why would you shit
in a hole
when you could just go
on the floor of your house
and pay someone to remove it
after a couple of days?
I don't know, Dad.
Holes seem like a pretty
drastic improvement
over the current system.
Oh, plenty of bells
and whistles, if you ask me.
It'll never catch on.
Trust me.
[ Chuckles ]
Gladys, Eddie here.
Morning pickup.
Hello, Eddie.
No need. I've just got one of
those new holes installed.
It's easier, cheaper, and better
for the environment --
a total game-changer.
[ Indistinct chatter ]
Bard: ♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
Ya-Shayn: Yo, I love this song!
Turn it up!
Bard: [ Louder ]
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Doing things inside
the party ♪
♪ Now they're scooting
at the party ♪
♪ We are bouncing everybody up
and down at the party ♪
[ Sighs ]
Frank, come on.
Even you?
I'm sorry, Eddie.
I'm sure you understand.
The hole is a great money-saver,
and the kids love it.
It's -- It's fun for them.
I understand.
Your mind's made up.
Just do me a favor
and kiss me on the mouth.
What? Why?
Because that's the way
I like being kissed
when I'm getting
[bleep]!
Whoa! Okay, Dad,
you've got to calm down.
If the business is
changing,
that just means we have
to figure out how to adapt.
No way!
I'm not gonna let this
newfangled technology
replace me.
If they're gonna fight dirty,
so am I.
[ Chicken clucks ]
[ Cow moos ]
Ya-Shayn: Hold on, brah.
I'll be right back.
[ Indistinct chatter ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Knock on door ]
Frank? Gladys?
What are you doing here?
We need your dad.
Hey, what's up?
Trouble in paradise?
[ Sighs ]
You were right.
Eddie, those holes
didn't work out.
[ Scoffs ]
Oh, no.
Really?
[ Chuckles ]
What happened?
We all came home from work
to find snakes living in them.
They bite -- so sharp --
and they're laying eggs.
Please, come back.
Well, you're lucky
I'm generous.
-I'll be back.
-Oh. [ Laughs ]
I'm not sure when.
My schedule is just crazy,
you know,
people shitting
left and right,
but I'll see what
we can work out.
[ Chuckles ]
You see, Al?
Now, aren't you glad
we didn't do anything rash,
like change our business?
Dad, did you put those snakes
in those people's holes?
Eh, I may've had a little
something to do with it.
You tricked people, Dad!
That's not right!
What was I supposed to do?
They're the ones
who started playing dirty.
No! No, you did.
I thought you were
the most fair,
honest man
in the business.
Guess I was wrong.
Ally, sweetheart.
Oh.
♪ Two steps back
a little jauntily ♪
♪ And that is how
you do the Chauncley ♪
Hey, hey!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, my, you're too kind.
You're too kind.
Say, it's getting
a little late.
Just to get it out of the way,
what do you say we,
uh, sign this treaty?
All right.
Yeah, sounds good, bro.
Hey, but first...
♪♪
Thank you.
...let's finish this.
Yes, cheers.
Vexler: Aah!
[ Everyone gasps ]
Oh, what the hell, man?!
-Vexler, what was that?
-This is poison.
They're trying to
poison you.
No, it's not.
Then why does it say
"danger" on the side?
That's "dan-gur."
It's a brand of high-end
rhino blood.
Mmm! Notes of copper
and some very playful tannins.
Yes.
I -- I overheard you
in the kitchen.
You said the last person they
had at a blood tasting died.
Yeah,
our buddy Brandt died.
He got really drunk on blood,
and he climbed up on the roof
to do a backflip into the pool,
but at the last second,
it turned out
that there was no pool.
I'll never forget
his last words --
"Shit, bro.
No pool."
[ Sighs ]
[ Crying ]
I miss Brandt.
We all do, Brian.
♪♪
Well, this party
has officially been fouled.
It's time for us to go.
-No, no, no.
Uh, w-w-we have to
sign the treaty.
Nah, bro, that's done.
Your butler really shit the bed.
Sorry, war's back on.
♪♪
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
How could I have made
such a big mistake?
Your father is
going to be furious.
Maybe it'll be fine.
In my experience,
when you make a mistake,
things have a way of
just working themselves out.
For you.
You can screw up
a million times,
and there's never
any consequences,
but I'm gonna
lose everything.
Honestly,
it's what I deserve.
No, no. It wa--
It was an honest mistake.
I was completely lost
back there.
♪♪
I've been trying to make it
in the castle,
but who are we kidding?
I'm a peasant.
I always will be.
♪♪
[ Knock on door ]
Got a sec?
I'm reading.
You were right.
I shouldn't have snaked up
those holes.
It's just, seeing all that
change, it made me...
Angry.
...scared.
Shoveling is all I know,
and it's the only way
I know how to take care
of you and your brother.
If it goes away, I...
I don't know what I'll do.
Maybe I can teach you
how the holes work.
Easier said than done.
I mean, you're young.
You pick up things no sweat.
It's a lot harder
at my age.
I've been doing this
a long time.
I mean,
I'm 31 years old.
Don't worry, Dad.
We got this.
♪♪
[ Sighs ]
♪♪
[ Clink ]
♪♪
♪♪
"War commences.
We return our peace
with fury and death.
In Brandt's name,
we recommence the battle."
What the hell happened?
And who the [bleep]
is Brandt?!
Um, Your Highness, uh...
this isn't,
uh, easy to admit,
but the --
the truth is that I --
I screwed it up.
I blew it, the -- the --
the treaty...thing.
The treaty was prearranged.
How could you possibly
have blown it?
Right. How?
[ Exhales slowly ]
Well, what happened is that I --
I -- I grabbed the treaty,
and I pulled down
my trousers, and I --
I rubbed --
I rubbed my butt on it.
And why would you do that?
I'm very dumb
and stupid.
Okay. Let's backtrack
a little, shall we?
Yeah, sure.
You're at
the negotiation table.
Mm-hmm.
You took out your butt,
and...
you physically rubbed it
on the treaty.
Yeah.
Out of nowhere,
with no provocation?
No, just did it.
That's what happened.
This is a new low.
I mean...
[ Scoffs ]
...you suck.
-Mm.
I will say, it would've been
a lot worse
were it not for
Lord Vexler.
Undoubtedly.
Vexler, come with me.
I'm gonna need your help
to sort this mess out.
Ah, yes, Your Grace.
♪♪
Oh, hi, Eddie.
I guess you're here to shovel.
Actually, I'm here to remove
the snakes from your hole.
Huh?
Look, we're expanding
the business.
That's great!
How much?
This one's on me.
♪♪
Your dad's a good man.
Yeah, I'm pretty proud
of him.
Eddie: Here, snakey.
Ow! There's a man-sized snake
in here!
Got my whole face!
[ Snake hissing ]
Gonna dump out the last
of the snakes.
Thanks, kiddo.
[ Snakes hissing ]
Aah! Oh! Aah!
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry!
Ugh!
Prince Chauncley?
[ Grunting ]
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
What are you doing
down here?
Oh, just steering clear
of the castle for a bit.
My dad is
kind of mad at me.
How mad?
Well, he told all the servants
to keep me from his sight
and rid the rooms
of "my scent."
Yikes. Sounds like you're
having some rough luck.
Yeah, but, you know,
as a prince,
I've had nothing
but good luck since birth,
so I'm probably
due for a bit.
[ Both laugh ]
Eddie: Al, everything okay
over there?
Coming!
I should go, but it was nice
running into you.
Oh, and you, as well.
[ Snake hisses ]
Oh! Aah! One more.
[ Grunts ]
[ Exhales ]
Right.
♪♪
Bard: [ Echoing ]
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
♪ We're all at the
party, party, party ♪
♪♪
♪ What's it gotta do with you? ♪
♪ What's it gotta do with me? ♪
♪ How can I lose control ♪
♪ When you're driving
from the back seat? ♪
♪♪
♪ When you're driving
from the back seat ♪
♪♪
♪♪
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
[ Hammer banging ]
♪♪
♪ Working hard every day ♪
♪ But life stays the same ♪
♪ Can't bring a man down ♪
♪ But a feeling drives me on ♪
♪ Keeps my world turned 'round ♪
♪ I won't be satisfied ♪
♪ There's a hurricane
I was born to ride ♪
♪ It's taking me
straight to the top ♪
♪ I want to run
where the eagles fly ♪
♪ Never gonna stop till I find
my place in the sky ♪
♪ Taking it
straight to the top ♪
♪ When you're reaching
for the glory ♪
[ Music stops ]
So, I took a look at your taxes,
and there's actually
this one cute little loophole
where you can write off
all your banquets
as long as you claim
the peasants as dependents.
-Oh, wow.
-No one will ever know.
And that's just allowed?
Eh, they never check.
-[Bleep] me.
-Mm-hmm.
♪ Straight to the top ♪
♪ I want to run
where the eagles fly ♪
♪ Never gonna stop till I find
my place in the sky ♪
[ Horn blows ]
Man: Revolution!
[ Indistinct shouting,
glass shatters ]
♪ When you're reaching
for the glory ♪
♪ You will never die ♪
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Flies buzzing ]
♪♪
♪ I've gone down
that road again ♪
♪ I've been there before,
though want to know more ♪
♪ It's always been ♪
♪♪
♪♪
[ Metal clangs ]
[ Chicken squawks ]
Cragnoor: News from our enemies,
Lord Vexler.
I have just received word
from the Valdrogians
that they
wish to sue for peace.
Congratulations,
Your Grace.
It was not my victory
alone.
I must send a royal emissary
to discuss
the terms
of their surrender.
I am choosing you
to represent our kingdom.
I'm honored.
An honor you have earned
many times over.
There is but one catch.
My Liege, I swore to serve you
no matter the cost.
I am willing to lay down
my life.
You've got to take him.
♪ Do the Chauncley! ♪
[Bleep]
♪ Do-do-do-do the Chauncley! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do the Chauncley! ♪
Any legal treaty requires
a royal witness, so...
[ Beatboxing ]
I know.
It sucks.
Oh, it'll be nice to get out
of Lower Murkford for a bit.
You and me, Vexler,
road dogs.
Do you really need
to pack all this stuff?
Oh, I always over-pack.
I figure, first things first,
we just go to the room,
relax for a bit,
maybe go to the beach,
but I don't want us
to have to follow a schedule.
We're on vacation.
No, this is not
a vacation.
It's a high-stakes
diplomatic mission.
Yes. One second --
just setting up the music.
Bard, play "Party Mix."
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
♪ We're all at the party,
party, party ♪
Skip.
♪ A bear has a long, long tail ♪
♪ He lives in a -- ♪
Skip.
♪ Party, party, party, ev-- ♪
Stop.
Prince, when we meet
Prince Ya-Shayn,
you need to say
a traditional greeting.
Repeat after me.
[ Speaking Valdrogian ]
Hush may-nah. Hush mah-nu.
I mean, I think
he'll probably speak English.
No, you can't just assume
that everyone speaks English.
Important people do,
though.
First of all, yikes.
Secondly,
I have no record of them
speaking anything other
than ancient Valdrogian.
If you want to survive, you need
to keep your mouth shut.
-You are the expert.
-[ Sighs ]
[ Whip cracks, horse neighs ]
Bard: ♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
Stop.
Remind me again why we're
taking the morning off.
I'll give you two hints.
It's awesome,
and you're gonna love it.
♪♪
What's ShitCon?
Only the biggest event in the
entire shit-shoveling industry.
We're talking info booths
and demos and networking.
-Cool.
-Eddie!
Gary, you son of a bitch,
get over here.
[ Laughs ]
Rebecca, what are you
doing here?
-I thought you died.
-[ Laughs ] No.
-How do you all know each other?
-Are you kidding?
Your dad is the best
damn shoveler in town.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, when termites ate my cart,
he helped me build a new one.
Wow.
Last winter,
when my knee exploded,
he covered my roof for me.
Yeah, and he's not just
good with a shovel.
Your dad is the most fair,
the most honest man
in this business.
Dad, I had no idea
you were so awesome.
I do my best.
[ Trumpets playing ]
[ Indistinct chatter ]
-What's that?
-I don't know.
Ingenuity.
The future.
Disruption.
Move fast.
Break things.
Break the chains.
Today, I present to you a simple
yet revolutionary innovation
that will make the act of
shoveling completely obsolete.
-What the hell is this?
-You're missing it.
Introducing the hole.
[ Audience gasps ]
It's a hole in the ground
that you shit in,
so you just put
the shit in the hole,
and then you don't
have to shovel anything.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Right?
So cool.
I can't believe no one's
thought of that before.
It's really gonna
change things, huh?
♪♪
Vexler:
Remember, follow my lead,
and don't say anything.
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ Metal clanging ]
♪♪
[ Metal scraping ]
♪♪
[ Chains clinking ]
[ Inhales ]
[ Speaking Valdrogian ]
Hey, brah,
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Um, do I know you
from somewhere?
Uh...
Um, I don't --
I don't think so.
Ah, this is killing me.
Um...
[ Clicks tongue ]
Uh, do y-- uh, no.
Do you ever go to
Falcon Island?
Yes, my father has
a stronghold there.
We summer there every year.
I've 100 percent
seen you around.
Wait, were you at Princess
Alison's barbecue last year?
[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.
Yeah. Oh.
Oh, me and Alison
go all the way back.
Me, too. We met at baby ski camp
in the Forbidden Mountains.
My uncle owns
those mountains.
He's the one that made them
forbidden.
This -- This is wild.
[ Laughing ] This is crazy.
So dope.
Aww!
Yeah, man.
Delightful.
Hell yeah.
Come on in.
Man, let's kick it.
Chauncley: Yes.
[ Speaks Valdrogian ]
So, this is the crib.
Wow.
How was the trip, man?
Did you travel private?
Oh, yeah.
That's what's up.
Okay. So, wait, back up.
Your cousin knows my cousin?
No, no, no, my cousin knows
Princess Alison...
-Who's friends with my cousin.
-Yes, exactly.
-Holy shit!
-This is crazy.
Oh, my God.
Lord Vexler, isn't this crazy?
Uh-huh, yeah, it's crazy.
What a coincidence.
Should we return our focus
on the treaty?
Dude, what is up
with your butler?
N-No, I'm --
I'm not a butler.
I'm a lord,
the minister of the realm.
Okay, dude.
[ Laughs ]
Yo, Chauncley,
do you drink blood?
'Cause my dad's got this, like,
sick-ass blood cellar.
[ Scoffs ]
Yeah, I got nothing.
Uh, could we get a bottle
of that '93, please?
Thank you.
[ Laughs ]
It's dumb, huh?
I mean, why would you shit
in a hole
when you could just go
on the floor of your house
and pay someone to remove it
after a couple of days?
I don't know, Dad.
Holes seem like a pretty
drastic improvement
over the current system.
Oh, plenty of bells
and whistles, if you ask me.
It'll never catch on.
Trust me.
[ Chuckles ]
Gladys, Eddie here.
Morning pickup.
Hello, Eddie.
No need. I've just got one of
those new holes installed.
It's easier, cheaper, and better
for the environment --
a total game-changer.
[ Indistinct chatter ]
Bard: ♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
Ya-Shayn: Yo, I love this song!
Turn it up!
Bard: [ Louder ]
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Doing things inside
the party ♪
♪ Now they're scooting
at the party ♪
♪ We are bouncing everybody up
and down at the party ♪
[ Sighs ]
Frank, come on.
Even you?
I'm sorry, Eddie.
I'm sure you understand.
The hole is a great money-saver,
and the kids love it.
It's -- It's fun for them.
I understand.
Your mind's made up.
Just do me a favor
and kiss me on the mouth.
What? Why?
Because that's the way
I like being kissed
when I'm getting
[bleep]!
Whoa! Okay, Dad,
you've got to calm down.
If the business is
changing,
that just means we have
to figure out how to adapt.
No way!
I'm not gonna let this
newfangled technology
replace me.
If they're gonna fight dirty,
so am I.
[ Chicken clucks ]
[ Cow moos ]
Ya-Shayn: Hold on, brah.
I'll be right back.
[ Indistinct chatter ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Knock on door ]
Frank? Gladys?
What are you doing here?
We need your dad.
Hey, what's up?
Trouble in paradise?
[ Sighs ]
You were right.
Eddie, those holes
didn't work out.
[ Scoffs ]
Oh, no.
Really?
[ Chuckles ]
What happened?
We all came home from work
to find snakes living in them.
They bite -- so sharp --
and they're laying eggs.
Please, come back.
Well, you're lucky
I'm generous.
-I'll be back.
-Oh. [ Laughs ]
I'm not sure when.
My schedule is just crazy,
you know,
people shitting
left and right,
but I'll see what
we can work out.
[ Chuckles ]
You see, Al?
Now, aren't you glad
we didn't do anything rash,
like change our business?
Dad, did you put those snakes
in those people's holes?
Eh, I may've had a little
something to do with it.
You tricked people, Dad!
That's not right!
What was I supposed to do?
They're the ones
who started playing dirty.
No! No, you did.
I thought you were
the most fair,
honest man
in the business.
Guess I was wrong.
Ally, sweetheart.
Oh.
♪ Two steps back
a little jauntily ♪
♪ And that is how
you do the Chauncley ♪
Hey, hey!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, my, you're too kind.
You're too kind.
Say, it's getting
a little late.
Just to get it out of the way,
what do you say we,
uh, sign this treaty?
All right.
Yeah, sounds good, bro.
Hey, but first...
♪♪
Thank you.
...let's finish this.
Yes, cheers.
Vexler: Aah!
[ Everyone gasps ]
Oh, what the hell, man?!
-Vexler, what was that?
-This is poison.
They're trying to
poison you.
No, it's not.
Then why does it say
"danger" on the side?
That's "dan-gur."
It's a brand of high-end
rhino blood.
Mmm! Notes of copper
and some very playful tannins.
Yes.
I -- I overheard you
in the kitchen.
You said the last person they
had at a blood tasting died.
Yeah,
our buddy Brandt died.
He got really drunk on blood,
and he climbed up on the roof
to do a backflip into the pool,
but at the last second,
it turned out
that there was no pool.
I'll never forget
his last words --
"Shit, bro.
No pool."
[ Sighs ]
[ Crying ]
I miss Brandt.
We all do, Brian.
♪♪
Well, this party
has officially been fouled.
It's time for us to go.
-No, no, no.
Uh, w-w-we have to
sign the treaty.
Nah, bro, that's done.
Your butler really shit the bed.
Sorry, war's back on.
♪♪
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
How could I have made
such a big mistake?
Your father is
going to be furious.
Maybe it'll be fine.
In my experience,
when you make a mistake,
things have a way of
just working themselves out.
For you.
You can screw up
a million times,
and there's never
any consequences,
but I'm gonna
lose everything.
Honestly,
it's what I deserve.
No, no. It wa--
It was an honest mistake.
I was completely lost
back there.
♪♪
I've been trying to make it
in the castle,
but who are we kidding?
I'm a peasant.
I always will be.
♪♪
[ Knock on door ]
Got a sec?
I'm reading.
You were right.
I shouldn't have snaked up
those holes.
It's just, seeing all that
change, it made me...
Angry.
...scared.
Shoveling is all I know,
and it's the only way
I know how to take care
of you and your brother.
If it goes away, I...
I don't know what I'll do.
Maybe I can teach you
how the holes work.
Easier said than done.
I mean, you're young.
You pick up things no sweat.
It's a lot harder
at my age.
I've been doing this
a long time.
I mean,
I'm 31 years old.
Don't worry, Dad.
We got this.
♪♪
[ Sighs ]
♪♪
[ Clink ]
♪♪
♪♪
"War commences.
We return our peace
with fury and death.
In Brandt's name,
we recommence the battle."
What the hell happened?
And who the [bleep]
is Brandt?!
Um, Your Highness, uh...
this isn't,
uh, easy to admit,
but the --
the truth is that I --
I screwed it up.
I blew it, the -- the --
the treaty...thing.
The treaty was prearranged.
How could you possibly
have blown it?
Right. How?
[ Exhales slowly ]
Well, what happened is that I --
I -- I grabbed the treaty,
and I pulled down
my trousers, and I --
I rubbed --
I rubbed my butt on it.
And why would you do that?
I'm very dumb
and stupid.
Okay. Let's backtrack
a little, shall we?
Yeah, sure.
You're at
the negotiation table.
Mm-hmm.
You took out your butt,
and...
you physically rubbed it
on the treaty.
Yeah.
Out of nowhere,
with no provocation?
No, just did it.
That's what happened.
This is a new low.
I mean...
[ Scoffs ]
...you suck.
-Mm.
I will say, it would've been
a lot worse
were it not for
Lord Vexler.
Undoubtedly.
Vexler, come with me.
I'm gonna need your help
to sort this mess out.
Ah, yes, Your Grace.
♪♪
Oh, hi, Eddie.
I guess you're here to shovel.
Actually, I'm here to remove
the snakes from your hole.
Huh?
Look, we're expanding
the business.
That's great!
How much?
This one's on me.
♪♪
Your dad's a good man.
Yeah, I'm pretty proud
of him.
Eddie: Here, snakey.
Ow! There's a man-sized snake
in here!
Got my whole face!
[ Snake hissing ]
Gonna dump out the last
of the snakes.
Thanks, kiddo.
[ Snakes hissing ]
Aah! Oh! Aah!
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry!
Ugh!
Prince Chauncley?
[ Grunting ]
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
What are you doing
down here?
Oh, just steering clear
of the castle for a bit.
My dad is
kind of mad at me.
How mad?
Well, he told all the servants
to keep me from his sight
and rid the rooms
of "my scent."
Yikes. Sounds like you're
having some rough luck.
Yeah, but, you know,
as a prince,
I've had nothing
but good luck since birth,
so I'm probably
due for a bit.
[ Both laugh ]
Eddie: Al, everything okay
over there?
Coming!
I should go, but it was nice
running into you.
Oh, and you, as well.
[ Snake hisses ]
Oh! Aah! One more.
[ Grunts ]
[ Exhales ]
Right.
♪♪
Bard: [ Echoing ]
♪ Party, party, party ♪
♪ Everybody's at the party ♪
♪ We're all at the
party, party, party ♪
♪♪
♪ What's it gotta do with you? ♪
♪ What's it gotta do with me? ♪
♪ How can I lose control ♪
♪ When you're driving
from the back seat? ♪
♪♪
♪ When you're driving
from the back seat ♪
♪♪