Mind Your Language (1977–1986): Season 2, Episode 4 - Many Happy Returns - full transcript
Ranjeet has been working three jobs so that he can surprise his mother in Punjab for her 60th birthday. However, the night before he is to pay for his ticket, he loses the envelope with all his hard-earned money. It seems someone from the school has found the money and bet half of it on a horse race.
There you are love Thank you
Sugars on the table
Give us a cup of tea, Glad
One of these days Sid,
you'll actually buy one
And I'll drop dead of shock
- Buy one?
- Yes
Free tea is one of the
perks what goes with this job
There 'Ow are you fixed
for a quick touch?
- I beg your pardon?
- I'm talking about money
I'm a bit glacier mint
You're always skink Sid! I'm sorry! No
- Hello lads - Hello Sid
How are you, my old Japan?
- Japan?
- My old Japan
Your rhyming slang meaning friend
Not Japan! China, china plate - mate
Jelly good
- I don't suppose any of you could...
- No Sid
- It's only till pay day - No understand
- Sorry please - It's alright
Gladys, give us that pack of
cards from under the counter
I'll get some money somehow
What are you going to do?
A little game of find the lady
Nobody might want to play
They'll be enough to play when
I give them the old come on
Come on what?
- You know I've got a
quid till pay day - Yeah
If I get somebody to win that, it
can't stop! It never fails
Now all I've got to do now is find a mug
- Coffee please - Hello mug... Max
- Max, would you...
- No Sid
No, no! I'm not trying to tap you
- I thought you might fancy a game
of cards - I don't like to gamble
Don't be silly! It's just a bit of fun!
Come and sid down! Enjoy yourself
This is called Find the Lady!
The lady is a queen! Now there's a
queen and there's the other 2 cards
What I do is I shuffle them about
And the object is to see if
my eyes could deceive your eyes
The quickness of my hands
deceive your eyes
- Where is it?
- There
Oh you're right! Very good! You
have good sharp eyes, haven't you?
Sure I have
You would have another go! Yes?
- Where is it?
- This one
Twice on the turn! You are
very very good, aren't you?
- Pretty smart, eh?
- No one's ever beaten me twice
I'll tell you what! If we had any
money, you'd have one two quids now
- Two quids?
- Yeah
- Do you want to try again?
- Hockay
- Only this time, I bet a pound
- I thought you said you don't play
My father he teach me
two rules of gambling
First rule, always bet on a certainty
- You want this pound?
- Yes, there's nothing wrong with that
Why not?
Now there's the queen!
There's the cards!
- Where is it?
- This is the lady
Three times on the trot!
That's fantastic!
I like this game Sid
- Do you like it?
- Yes
- Good! Double or Quits?
- Quits
What?
- I dont want to play
anymore - But you can't do that
The second rule my father tell me!
Always quits when you're winning
Good evening please
Ah Ranjeet! You're late! I
thought you weren't coming!
You missed first half of the session
A thousand apologies but I am
falling asleep on the underground tube
I am going right past
my getting off stop
- And not waking up until
Cockiefosters - Cockiefosters?
- Perhaps you're working too hard
- I am working three times too hard
What do you mean? - Perhaps you're working
too hard - I am working three times too hard
What do you mean?
Well my properjob is working on
the underground railway tube
And I'm working the
early morning shaft
- I think you mean shift - That is correct
I am working from six o'clock morning
time until two o'clock afternoon time
Then I'm doing otherjob for garage
Pumping the petrol until
six o'clock evening time
Even allowing for the
time you spend here
You could still have eight hours sleep
Oh no, when I am leaving here,
I am working in public house
until after the midnight
I think you're overdoing it Ranjeet
All work and no play
makes Jack a dull boy
This Jack, is he having three jobs also?
It's just a saying!
Why are you working so hard?
I'm saving up for the airplane
- You want to buy an airplane?
- No, no
Just a ticket, to Punjab
You're not leaving us, are you?
Only for one weekend
My mother is being sixty
years old this week
So I am giving her the
big surprise of myself
I am now having the
money for the airplane ticket
Two hundred and thirty
English pounds
That's a lot of money
to carry about Ranjeet
You could get mugged
on your way home
You are speaking absolute wisdom
- Here, you keep for me - Me?
Most definitely,
then if I am being mugged
The mugger man will not find money
- It's too big a responsibility - Please
You keep for me until tomorrow
- Then I buy ticket - Very well
Thousand thank you
Right! Come along everyone!
We have a lot of work to do
Quickly now! Go on
Right! Now, for the rest of this
evening, we're going to have a debate
Can anyone tell me what the
word debate means
And I don't want to hear anybody say
debate is what you put on the fishing line
Can anybody tell me what a debate is?
Come along! Su Lee, what
is parliament noted for?
Collupt poriticians making unjust
raws to oppless working crasses
Agreed! We call that debating
Quite simply it means to
discuss or dispute a given subject
That is what we are going to do
Do you understand what we
are talking about Zoltan?
No understand
We're going to have a debate
- an argument
- Fight?
- No, no
Not with fists, with mouth
- Kiss - No, with words
Just do your best to follow us
Now the first thing we're going to do!
We're going to need
somebody to chair the debate
- I'm good at that -
Have you done it before?
Sure, every Saturday, I
go to chair my football team
I'm talking about chair, not cheer
- Scusi - Right
I shall be the Chairman
- Now what subject shall we debate?
- Girls
Girls is not a subject
Subjects for debates are
in the form of questions
For example, should men and
women have equal pay for equal work?
Should capital punishment
be brought back?
Should Enoch Powell be deported?
Thats the general idea
For our debate, I think we'll
take the subject of Television
Is Television a good or bad
influence on the community?
Now we need two proposers
and two opposers
In other words, two to
speak for good and two for bad
- How about you Juan?
- Por favore
- Good or bad?
- Sometimes I'm good
Sometimes I'm bad
Not talking about you personally Juan!
Do you think television is good?
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Make your mind up Juan
In a debate, you can't sit on the fence
Not sitting on fence! Sitting on chair
Look forget I asked you
- What you ask me?
- Forget it
How can I forget if I don't remember
- Never mind - Alright
- Taro you can be the 1st proposer - Ah so
Now we need a lady, Jamila! You
can be the 2nd proposer
Now two opposers
- Ali, How about you?
- Yes please
And Danielle
- Am I good or bad?
- Bad
I like being bad! Because
when I am bad, I'm very good
Just remember, we're talking
about television
Now, pay attention everyone
Taro will speak first with the proposition
that television is good for the community
- Go ahead Taro - Ah so
Television is very goodo for everyone
More people watcho, more people buyo
And Japan make besto television
Japan make besto everything
- Cars, cameras, radios...
- Thank you Taro
Remember you're speaking about
television not doing a commercial for Japan
Ah so
Television is goodo for teaching
I learn many English words fromo television
Like 'what a gay day'
And 'Don't forget fruito gums mum'
Thank you Taro
Danielle, would you please
present your case against television
Oui
I think television is very bad
Because it makes people stay up at night
Instead of going to bed to make love
Not everybody wants to go
to bed to make love
That's right! Sometimes, it's
much better to make love outside
In Sweden, we make love everywhere
I think we're getting... You do that?
Getting off the subject! Now, come along!
Make love much better proposition
than television
Stick to the point please Danielle
I think television is very bad for the eyes
Yes and also bad for the legs
- Legs?
- Si
My brother Miguel, he had
bad legs from his television
Juan, how can your brother have
bad legs from his television?
He dropped it on his foot
I shouldn't have asked
Carry on Danielle
I cannot sink of anymore to say after this
Jamila, would you like to present your
case for the good of television?
I like very much television
The television makes people
happy with many good programs
Like Carnation Street
- Coronation Street - Yes
Last week, I am watching This Week
How can you be watching
this week last week?
This Week is the name of
a programme, Ranjeet
A thousand apologies
And also, television is for free
- You have to buy the licence
- What licence?
- Haven't you got a television licence?
- No, no need licence
- I'm sorry Jamila but you do - No
Look Jamila, it's an
offence not to have a license
If the detector van comes
round you could be heavily fined
- No - Don't argue Jamila! It's the law If the
detector van comes round you could be heavily fined
- No - Don't argue Jamila! It's the law
- Not for me - Why not for you?
No have television set
Watch next door! They have licence
Thank you Jamila
- Ali, your turn - Jolly good
I am thinking television is very bad
Because it is showing too
much of the violence
- A good point - Thank you
Last night, I am seeing
somebody being drowned, then shot
And then having their heads chopped off
What was that? The Professionals
or Starsky and Hutch?
Tom and Jerry
Excuse Mr. Brown, can you
spare me a moment?
Just a minute Miss Courtney
We're running in the middle of
an interesting debate
- Could you waitjust a minute please?
- Certainly not
- Very well! Giovanni, out here
- Certainly sir
- Would you take the chair?
- Sure
- No I mean will you chair the debate
- Scusi
Let Ali finish, then throw it open! Give
everybody a say then take a vote
If I'm still not back by then, you
can dismiss the class and go home
Hokey
Okay, you heard what Professori said
Ali's to finish
We have a talk, we have a vote
- Then we go home, ok?
- Alright
- You finished Ali?
- No I haven't
- I was...
- You finished
Anybody wanna talk?
Ok, we take a vote
Everybody thinks Tv's okay,
put up hands
Everybody who think Tv's
not ok, put up the hands
We call it a draw! Class dismissed
Going somewhere?
Would you care for a drink Miss Courtney?
No thank you Mr. Brown
I want to get to the Post
Office to catch the last post
I wonder if you'd post a letter for me
- Yeah certainly - Good
This is the one
- Good night Mr. Brown - Good night
- Another day done, Sid - Worse luck
- I'm always glad to get home - You
wouldn't be if you lived with my missus
- Oh hello - What's the matter?
Here! It's full of bees and honey
- I wonder whose it is
- I know whose it is now
Don't you think you ought to
take it into the police station?
Don't be ridiculous! It's finders keepers!
Oh Sid!
Don't be ridiculous! It's finders keepers!
Oh Sid!
Enter!
Mr. Brown
- Hush - Don't you shush me
Miss Courtney, I'm in terrible trouble
You certainly are! You're ten minutes late!
Miss Courtney, I'm in terrible trouble
You certainly are! You're ten minutes late!
Worse than that! I lost 230 pounds that
Ranjeet gave me to look after
- How on earth did you manage to do that?
- I have no idea
It must have fallen out of my
pocket! I've looked everywhere
I went to the police to ask
if anyone had handed it in
They just laughed
- What am I gonna tell Ranjeet?
- The truth Mr. Brown
You'd better do it in private
You can use my office! I'll send him to you
I suppose the direct approach would be best
Ranjeet, I've lost your money
No, that's too harsh! I
should soften the blow a bit
Ranjeet, come in
Have a seat! Would you like a cup of tea?
Ranjeet, I have something to tell you
- Are you sitting comfortably?
- No, I'm standing up
Ah Ranjeet, come here and sit down
Have a cup of tea
- There isn't any tea
- I'll go and get you a cup
Miss Courtney said you have
something to tell me
Yes Ranjeet, I am human,
you are human
And human beings are fallible!
I am fallible, you are fallible
Oh no, I am Punjabi
What I am trying to say Ranjeet is...
I've lost your money
Did you hear me?
The money you saved to go and
visit your mother! I've lost it
Ranjeet
I'm sorry Ranjeet
- Good evening - Hello Sid
You look as if you've lost a
hundred quid and found ten p.
There's many a true word spoken in jest
Come on! Cheer up
- Have a cigar - No thanks
Come on! Cheer up
- Have a cigar - No thanks
- Things can't be that bad
- They're worse
Look at me! Yesterday
I hadn't got change for 1/2 p
Today, I could lose a tenner and not notice
You couldn't lend me two hundred and
thirty pounds, could you?
No chance
That's all there was in the envelope
- What envelope?
- The envelope I found outside the school
- You thief - What are you talking about?
That was Ranjeet's money!
- You still got it?
- Yeah
Why didn't you hand it in?
- Wait, what are you doing?
- Ranjeet, we found your money
Praise to the Holy Guru
I will be able to be visiting my mother
Oh, she'd be so happy to be seeing me
There's only one hundred and
thirty pounds in here
That's right
- Where's the other hundred?
- Here
- What is this?
- A betting slip
I put in on Rainbows end on the
6:15 in the night race at Windsor
6:15! We can still make it lads! Come
on everybody quickly! Quickly
Mr. Brown, what is going on?
We're just taking an early tea
break in the betting shop
6:15 at Windsor
The horses are lining up for
the start and they're off
Come on Rainbows End
And right away it's
Ernies Boy in the lead
Followed by Debs Delight, Golden
Wonder and Skylark
Then come Royal Peacock and Slimline
Where is Rainbows End?
And bringing up the rear is Rainbows End
And that's the order at the bend
With Debs Delight closing a little and
Skylark now overtaking Golden Wonder
Royal Peacock is dropping back
And who's this coming
through on the inside
- Rainbows End?
- Slimline
And as they come into the straight
It's still Ernie's Boy,
Debs Delight and Skylark
And here's Rainbows End making
a run on the outside
Come on Rainbows End
And with four furlongs
to go its Ernies Boy
Debs Delight and Rainbows
End now in third place
Ernies Boy is pulling away slightly
But Rainbows End has overtaken Debs
Delight and is challenging strongly
Two furlongs to go and Rainbows
Ends is gaining on Ernies Boy
They're neck and neck as
they come to the post
And at the finish it's
Rainbows End by a nose
How much are you winning?
At five to two, that's
two hundred and fifty quid
Hundred for you and the rest for me At five
to two, that's two hundred and fifty quid
Hundred for you and the rest for me
Come on! Let's go draw it
One moment, there's a stewards inquiry
The red flags gone up
Oh blimey, it's a Russian horse
Rainbows End's been disqualified for
bumping and has lost
We are losing and I won't
be able to visit my mother
Poor Ranjeet
He was so much looking
forward to seeing his mother
He will see his mother
But he was going to be
catching plane on Saturday
How can he be getting one
Hundred pounds before then?
We'll get it for him How can he be
getting one Hundred pounds before then?
We'll get it for him
Even if we have to beg,
borrow or steal it
Yes, yes!
Excuse please
Thank you
You want photograph! Very cheapo
Three for one poundo
You buy pretty violets for your pretty wife
- You want pretty violets for your pretty wife?
- No, thanks duckie
Get your salami sandwiches here
All made with French bread
Shoeshiner! Shoe shine! Twenty p's
Come on! Shoeshiner
Come on young man! Have your fortune
told! Madame Jamila will tell your fortune
Have your fortune told by Madame Jamila Come on young man!
Have your fortune told! Madame Jamila will tell your fortune
Have your fortune told
by Madame Jamila
Please do cross my palms with fifty p.
Come on now! Where's the lady?
That's not the lady, i'm telling
you! That's the lady here
I'll do one more for you to
show you can be wrong
You can't be wrong all the time
- Giant balloons, 25 p each
- 25 p. On balloon
There's one for you
Mr. Brown, please hold! Please hold
- Good evening Miss Courtney
- Good evening Mr. Brown
I hear you managed to raise
the money for Mr. Singhs fare
Yes, he'll be at the airport now
How is he going by plane or balloon?
- You heard about that!
- Yes
If there haven't been someone on
the roof to catch my legs
Heaven knows where I'd be now If there haven't
been someone on the roof to catch my legs
Heaven knows where I'd be now
Where you usually are Mr.
Brown, with your head in the clouds
- Good evening class
- Good evening Mr. Brown
Firstly, may I say thank you for
all your efforts yesterday
To help me raise the fare for Ranjeet
No, no! It was a remarkable effort
I wish I could say that for your homework
- I'm not happy with your answers -
We are also not happy with the questions
I got an idea
You're not happy, we're not happy
So if you not give us homework,
we both be happy
Silence
Look, in the future, you will
be given extra homework
And I hope to see some improvement
Some of you are simply not trying
For example, Max
The opposite of anti-meridian is
not uncle-meridian but post-meridian
What you're laughing about Giovanni
Your answer to the question write a
sentence using a metaphor was unbelievable
But I did write a sentence using a metaphor
Yes, last night I found my
girlfriend in a metaphoradream
- Ali - Yes please
For your information, a polygon is a term
used to describe figures
with angles and sides
and has nothing to do with
the disappearing parrot
Mr. Brown, Miss would
like to have a word with you
Ah, new pupil
Would you like to sit over there?
No sit! Look for Ranjeet
Well I'm afraid he's not here!
He's gone this weekend to visit his mother
As a surprise for her birthday
That is terrible
- Why, what's the matter?
- I am his mother
I came over for my birthday to surprise Ranjeet - Why, what's the matter?
- I am his mother
I came over for my birthday
to surprise Ranjeet
You're his mother?
Sugars on the table
Give us a cup of tea, Glad
One of these days Sid,
you'll actually buy one
And I'll drop dead of shock
- Buy one?
- Yes
Free tea is one of the
perks what goes with this job
There 'Ow are you fixed
for a quick touch?
- I beg your pardon?
- I'm talking about money
I'm a bit glacier mint
You're always skink Sid! I'm sorry! No
- Hello lads - Hello Sid
How are you, my old Japan?
- Japan?
- My old Japan
Your rhyming slang meaning friend
Not Japan! China, china plate - mate
Jelly good
- I don't suppose any of you could...
- No Sid
- It's only till pay day - No understand
- Sorry please - It's alright
Gladys, give us that pack of
cards from under the counter
I'll get some money somehow
What are you going to do?
A little game of find the lady
Nobody might want to play
They'll be enough to play when
I give them the old come on
Come on what?
- You know I've got a
quid till pay day - Yeah
If I get somebody to win that, it
can't stop! It never fails
Now all I've got to do now is find a mug
- Coffee please - Hello mug... Max
- Max, would you...
- No Sid
No, no! I'm not trying to tap you
- I thought you might fancy a game
of cards - I don't like to gamble
Don't be silly! It's just a bit of fun!
Come and sid down! Enjoy yourself
This is called Find the Lady!
The lady is a queen! Now there's a
queen and there's the other 2 cards
What I do is I shuffle them about
And the object is to see if
my eyes could deceive your eyes
The quickness of my hands
deceive your eyes
- Where is it?
- There
Oh you're right! Very good! You
have good sharp eyes, haven't you?
Sure I have
You would have another go! Yes?
- Where is it?
- This one
Twice on the turn! You are
very very good, aren't you?
- Pretty smart, eh?
- No one's ever beaten me twice
I'll tell you what! If we had any
money, you'd have one two quids now
- Two quids?
- Yeah
- Do you want to try again?
- Hockay
- Only this time, I bet a pound
- I thought you said you don't play
My father he teach me
two rules of gambling
First rule, always bet on a certainty
- You want this pound?
- Yes, there's nothing wrong with that
Why not?
Now there's the queen!
There's the cards!
- Where is it?
- This is the lady
Three times on the trot!
That's fantastic!
I like this game Sid
- Do you like it?
- Yes
- Good! Double or Quits?
- Quits
What?
- I dont want to play
anymore - But you can't do that
The second rule my father tell me!
Always quits when you're winning
Good evening please
Ah Ranjeet! You're late! I
thought you weren't coming!
You missed first half of the session
A thousand apologies but I am
falling asleep on the underground tube
I am going right past
my getting off stop
- And not waking up until
Cockiefosters - Cockiefosters?
- Perhaps you're working too hard
- I am working three times too hard
What do you mean? - Perhaps you're working
too hard - I am working three times too hard
What do you mean?
Well my properjob is working on
the underground railway tube
And I'm working the
early morning shaft
- I think you mean shift - That is correct
I am working from six o'clock morning
time until two o'clock afternoon time
Then I'm doing otherjob for garage
Pumping the petrol until
six o'clock evening time
Even allowing for the
time you spend here
You could still have eight hours sleep
Oh no, when I am leaving here,
I am working in public house
until after the midnight
I think you're overdoing it Ranjeet
All work and no play
makes Jack a dull boy
This Jack, is he having three jobs also?
It's just a saying!
Why are you working so hard?
I'm saving up for the airplane
- You want to buy an airplane?
- No, no
Just a ticket, to Punjab
You're not leaving us, are you?
Only for one weekend
My mother is being sixty
years old this week
So I am giving her the
big surprise of myself
I am now having the
money for the airplane ticket
Two hundred and thirty
English pounds
That's a lot of money
to carry about Ranjeet
You could get mugged
on your way home
You are speaking absolute wisdom
- Here, you keep for me - Me?
Most definitely,
then if I am being mugged
The mugger man will not find money
- It's too big a responsibility - Please
You keep for me until tomorrow
- Then I buy ticket - Very well
Thousand thank you
Right! Come along everyone!
We have a lot of work to do
Quickly now! Go on
Right! Now, for the rest of this
evening, we're going to have a debate
Can anyone tell me what the
word debate means
And I don't want to hear anybody say
debate is what you put on the fishing line
Can anybody tell me what a debate is?
Come along! Su Lee, what
is parliament noted for?
Collupt poriticians making unjust
raws to oppless working crasses
Agreed! We call that debating
Quite simply it means to
discuss or dispute a given subject
That is what we are going to do
Do you understand what we
are talking about Zoltan?
No understand
We're going to have a debate
- an argument
- Fight?
- No, no
Not with fists, with mouth
- Kiss - No, with words
Just do your best to follow us
Now the first thing we're going to do!
We're going to need
somebody to chair the debate
- I'm good at that -
Have you done it before?
Sure, every Saturday, I
go to chair my football team
I'm talking about chair, not cheer
- Scusi - Right
I shall be the Chairman
- Now what subject shall we debate?
- Girls
Girls is not a subject
Subjects for debates are
in the form of questions
For example, should men and
women have equal pay for equal work?
Should capital punishment
be brought back?
Should Enoch Powell be deported?
Thats the general idea
For our debate, I think we'll
take the subject of Television
Is Television a good or bad
influence on the community?
Now we need two proposers
and two opposers
In other words, two to
speak for good and two for bad
- How about you Juan?
- Por favore
- Good or bad?
- Sometimes I'm good
Sometimes I'm bad
Not talking about you personally Juan!
Do you think television is good?
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Make your mind up Juan
In a debate, you can't sit on the fence
Not sitting on fence! Sitting on chair
Look forget I asked you
- What you ask me?
- Forget it
How can I forget if I don't remember
- Never mind - Alright
- Taro you can be the 1st proposer - Ah so
Now we need a lady, Jamila! You
can be the 2nd proposer
Now two opposers
- Ali, How about you?
- Yes please
And Danielle
- Am I good or bad?
- Bad
I like being bad! Because
when I am bad, I'm very good
Just remember, we're talking
about television
Now, pay attention everyone
Taro will speak first with the proposition
that television is good for the community
- Go ahead Taro - Ah so
Television is very goodo for everyone
More people watcho, more people buyo
And Japan make besto television
Japan make besto everything
- Cars, cameras, radios...
- Thank you Taro
Remember you're speaking about
television not doing a commercial for Japan
Ah so
Television is goodo for teaching
I learn many English words fromo television
Like 'what a gay day'
And 'Don't forget fruito gums mum'
Thank you Taro
Danielle, would you please
present your case against television
Oui
I think television is very bad
Because it makes people stay up at night
Instead of going to bed to make love
Not everybody wants to go
to bed to make love
That's right! Sometimes, it's
much better to make love outside
In Sweden, we make love everywhere
I think we're getting... You do that?
Getting off the subject! Now, come along!
Make love much better proposition
than television
Stick to the point please Danielle
I think television is very bad for the eyes
Yes and also bad for the legs
- Legs?
- Si
My brother Miguel, he had
bad legs from his television
Juan, how can your brother have
bad legs from his television?
He dropped it on his foot
I shouldn't have asked
Carry on Danielle
I cannot sink of anymore to say after this
Jamila, would you like to present your
case for the good of television?
I like very much television
The television makes people
happy with many good programs
Like Carnation Street
- Coronation Street - Yes
Last week, I am watching This Week
How can you be watching
this week last week?
This Week is the name of
a programme, Ranjeet
A thousand apologies
And also, television is for free
- You have to buy the licence
- What licence?
- Haven't you got a television licence?
- No, no need licence
- I'm sorry Jamila but you do - No
Look Jamila, it's an
offence not to have a license
If the detector van comes
round you could be heavily fined
- No - Don't argue Jamila! It's the law If the
detector van comes round you could be heavily fined
- No - Don't argue Jamila! It's the law
- Not for me - Why not for you?
No have television set
Watch next door! They have licence
Thank you Jamila
- Ali, your turn - Jolly good
I am thinking television is very bad
Because it is showing too
much of the violence
- A good point - Thank you
Last night, I am seeing
somebody being drowned, then shot
And then having their heads chopped off
What was that? The Professionals
or Starsky and Hutch?
Tom and Jerry
Excuse Mr. Brown, can you
spare me a moment?
Just a minute Miss Courtney
We're running in the middle of
an interesting debate
- Could you waitjust a minute please?
- Certainly not
- Very well! Giovanni, out here
- Certainly sir
- Would you take the chair?
- Sure
- No I mean will you chair the debate
- Scusi
Let Ali finish, then throw it open! Give
everybody a say then take a vote
If I'm still not back by then, you
can dismiss the class and go home
Hokey
Okay, you heard what Professori said
Ali's to finish
We have a talk, we have a vote
- Then we go home, ok?
- Alright
- You finished Ali?
- No I haven't
- I was...
- You finished
Anybody wanna talk?
Ok, we take a vote
Everybody thinks Tv's okay,
put up hands
Everybody who think Tv's
not ok, put up the hands
We call it a draw! Class dismissed
Going somewhere?
Would you care for a drink Miss Courtney?
No thank you Mr. Brown
I want to get to the Post
Office to catch the last post
I wonder if you'd post a letter for me
- Yeah certainly - Good
This is the one
- Good night Mr. Brown - Good night
- Another day done, Sid - Worse luck
- I'm always glad to get home - You
wouldn't be if you lived with my missus
- Oh hello - What's the matter?
Here! It's full of bees and honey
- I wonder whose it is
- I know whose it is now
Don't you think you ought to
take it into the police station?
Don't be ridiculous! It's finders keepers!
Oh Sid!
Don't be ridiculous! It's finders keepers!
Oh Sid!
Enter!
Mr. Brown
- Hush - Don't you shush me
Miss Courtney, I'm in terrible trouble
You certainly are! You're ten minutes late!
Miss Courtney, I'm in terrible trouble
You certainly are! You're ten minutes late!
Worse than that! I lost 230 pounds that
Ranjeet gave me to look after
- How on earth did you manage to do that?
- I have no idea
It must have fallen out of my
pocket! I've looked everywhere
I went to the police to ask
if anyone had handed it in
They just laughed
- What am I gonna tell Ranjeet?
- The truth Mr. Brown
You'd better do it in private
You can use my office! I'll send him to you
I suppose the direct approach would be best
Ranjeet, I've lost your money
No, that's too harsh! I
should soften the blow a bit
Ranjeet, come in
Have a seat! Would you like a cup of tea?
Ranjeet, I have something to tell you
- Are you sitting comfortably?
- No, I'm standing up
Ah Ranjeet, come here and sit down
Have a cup of tea
- There isn't any tea
- I'll go and get you a cup
Miss Courtney said you have
something to tell me
Yes Ranjeet, I am human,
you are human
And human beings are fallible!
I am fallible, you are fallible
Oh no, I am Punjabi
What I am trying to say Ranjeet is...
I've lost your money
Did you hear me?
The money you saved to go and
visit your mother! I've lost it
Ranjeet
I'm sorry Ranjeet
- Good evening - Hello Sid
You look as if you've lost a
hundred quid and found ten p.
There's many a true word spoken in jest
Come on! Cheer up
- Have a cigar - No thanks
Come on! Cheer up
- Have a cigar - No thanks
- Things can't be that bad
- They're worse
Look at me! Yesterday
I hadn't got change for 1/2 p
Today, I could lose a tenner and not notice
You couldn't lend me two hundred and
thirty pounds, could you?
No chance
That's all there was in the envelope
- What envelope?
- The envelope I found outside the school
- You thief - What are you talking about?
That was Ranjeet's money!
- You still got it?
- Yeah
Why didn't you hand it in?
- Wait, what are you doing?
- Ranjeet, we found your money
Praise to the Holy Guru
I will be able to be visiting my mother
Oh, she'd be so happy to be seeing me
There's only one hundred and
thirty pounds in here
That's right
- Where's the other hundred?
- Here
- What is this?
- A betting slip
I put in on Rainbows end on the
6:15 in the night race at Windsor
6:15! We can still make it lads! Come
on everybody quickly! Quickly
Mr. Brown, what is going on?
We're just taking an early tea
break in the betting shop
6:15 at Windsor
The horses are lining up for
the start and they're off
Come on Rainbows End
And right away it's
Ernies Boy in the lead
Followed by Debs Delight, Golden
Wonder and Skylark
Then come Royal Peacock and Slimline
Where is Rainbows End?
And bringing up the rear is Rainbows End
And that's the order at the bend
With Debs Delight closing a little and
Skylark now overtaking Golden Wonder
Royal Peacock is dropping back
And who's this coming
through on the inside
- Rainbows End?
- Slimline
And as they come into the straight
It's still Ernie's Boy,
Debs Delight and Skylark
And here's Rainbows End making
a run on the outside
Come on Rainbows End
And with four furlongs
to go its Ernies Boy
Debs Delight and Rainbows
End now in third place
Ernies Boy is pulling away slightly
But Rainbows End has overtaken Debs
Delight and is challenging strongly
Two furlongs to go and Rainbows
Ends is gaining on Ernies Boy
They're neck and neck as
they come to the post
And at the finish it's
Rainbows End by a nose
How much are you winning?
At five to two, that's
two hundred and fifty quid
Hundred for you and the rest for me At five
to two, that's two hundred and fifty quid
Hundred for you and the rest for me
Come on! Let's go draw it
One moment, there's a stewards inquiry
The red flags gone up
Oh blimey, it's a Russian horse
Rainbows End's been disqualified for
bumping and has lost
We are losing and I won't
be able to visit my mother
Poor Ranjeet
He was so much looking
forward to seeing his mother
He will see his mother
But he was going to be
catching plane on Saturday
How can he be getting one
Hundred pounds before then?
We'll get it for him How can he be
getting one Hundred pounds before then?
We'll get it for him
Even if we have to beg,
borrow or steal it
Yes, yes!
Excuse please
Thank you
You want photograph! Very cheapo
Three for one poundo
You buy pretty violets for your pretty wife
- You want pretty violets for your pretty wife?
- No, thanks duckie
Get your salami sandwiches here
All made with French bread
Shoeshiner! Shoe shine! Twenty p's
Come on! Shoeshiner
Come on young man! Have your fortune
told! Madame Jamila will tell your fortune
Have your fortune told by Madame Jamila Come on young man!
Have your fortune told! Madame Jamila will tell your fortune
Have your fortune told
by Madame Jamila
Please do cross my palms with fifty p.
Come on now! Where's the lady?
That's not the lady, i'm telling
you! That's the lady here
I'll do one more for you to
show you can be wrong
You can't be wrong all the time
- Giant balloons, 25 p each
- 25 p. On balloon
There's one for you
Mr. Brown, please hold! Please hold
- Good evening Miss Courtney
- Good evening Mr. Brown
I hear you managed to raise
the money for Mr. Singhs fare
Yes, he'll be at the airport now
How is he going by plane or balloon?
- You heard about that!
- Yes
If there haven't been someone on
the roof to catch my legs
Heaven knows where I'd be now If there haven't
been someone on the roof to catch my legs
Heaven knows where I'd be now
Where you usually are Mr.
Brown, with your head in the clouds
- Good evening class
- Good evening Mr. Brown
Firstly, may I say thank you for
all your efforts yesterday
To help me raise the fare for Ranjeet
No, no! It was a remarkable effort
I wish I could say that for your homework
- I'm not happy with your answers -
We are also not happy with the questions
I got an idea
You're not happy, we're not happy
So if you not give us homework,
we both be happy
Silence
Look, in the future, you will
be given extra homework
And I hope to see some improvement
Some of you are simply not trying
For example, Max
The opposite of anti-meridian is
not uncle-meridian but post-meridian
What you're laughing about Giovanni
Your answer to the question write a
sentence using a metaphor was unbelievable
But I did write a sentence using a metaphor
Yes, last night I found my
girlfriend in a metaphoradream
- Ali - Yes please
For your information, a polygon is a term
used to describe figures
with angles and sides
and has nothing to do with
the disappearing parrot
Mr. Brown, Miss would
like to have a word with you
Ah, new pupil
Would you like to sit over there?
No sit! Look for Ranjeet
Well I'm afraid he's not here!
He's gone this weekend to visit his mother
As a surprise for her birthday
That is terrible
- Why, what's the matter?
- I am his mother
I came over for my birthday to surprise Ranjeet - Why, what's the matter?
- I am his mother
I came over for my birthday
to surprise Ranjeet
You're his mother?