Milo Murphy's Law (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Party of Peril/Smooth Opera-tor - full transcript
Melissa and Zack throw Milo his first surprise birthday party, the only real birthday party he's ever had. Milo, Melissa and Zack go with their classmate Amanda to an opera concert for extra school credit.
# Look at that sun
Look at that sky #
# Look at my sweater vest
I look so fly #
# Look at that mailbox
Look at that tree #
# It's about as beautiful
as it can be #
# Whoa #
♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪
♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
# Whoa, whoa #
♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
Yeah, it's a truck load of ice cream.
What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah, cake's all loaded up,
we'll be there.
What's the worst
that could happen?
Yeah. We're loading the
dynamite onto the plane now.
What's the worst
that could happen?
No problem.
I've got a dry change
of clothes in my locker.
See you in a bit.
So, tomorrow is Milo's birthday.
- Is he having a party?
- Probably not.
The last time he did,
it did not end well.
Hold it there!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
After that, they only invited
immediate family and me.
Well, that's sad.
Doesn't he miss
having a big birthday party?
Hi, Mrs. Murphy.
Hi, honey. Do you think we
should invite Zack tomorrow?
- And if so, does he have proper coverage?
- He's right here.
Hi Milo's mom. I overheard,
and I'm fully insured.
Um, just a thought, but is it okay
if we invite some kids from school?
It could be a surprise.
Hmm. Let's check with Martin.
He's still at work.
Hi, dear. Melissa and Zack
were thinking of a surprise party
for Milo tomorrow.
How is our liability coverage?
Oh, better idea. Not at our home.
We could do it at the Play Park.
Yeah, the go-kart track!
It'll be perfect. They already
have all the party supplies.
Fire extinguishers,
helmets, first-aid kits...
Plus, they're fully insured.
So, we can invite people?
- Sure.
- Great! Surprise party.
We'll have to keep him busy all
afternoon so he doesn't suspect.
We'll handle that.
See you tomorrow.
That's weird,
nobody pressed the button.
- Oh! Hey, Milo.
- Hey, guys!
- Did you change?
- Yeah, this one's all dry.
I have, like, 30 of these.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Won't it be dangerous?
You're 100 feet underwater
right now swimming with eels.
What's your point?
So, Mort, you coming to Milo's party?
As long as your dad's there.
- He's a paramedic, right?
- Right.
Surprise party for Milo!
I don't know. My risk
tolerance only goes so high.
- Whoa!
- We'll all be wearing helmets.
- It'll be fun.
- Okay, we're in.
I like parties.
The border in this photo
is a millimeter thicker
on the left than on the right.
You have a split
infinitive in the caption.
I don't know, Melissa. Things
get sort of messy around Milo.
- You know how I like order.
- I understand, Amanda.
I'm trying to figure out
the streamer situation,
but I guess it doesn't matter
if there's really
a cohesive color scheme,
and the balloons I'm ordering are
all different sizes and shapes,
but I can't imagine that it's
gonna be a problem...
All right, I'll organize it.
"Cohesive color scheme"
doesn't matter.
Don't think I don't
know what you just did.
- Yo, Milo. What up?
- Hey, Melissa!
Just installed the new
asteroid early warning system.
- Oh! What's with the arm?
- Sprained it.
Problem is, my dad has
an important package to be
picked up at the mall.
I can't do it with this arm.
I know it's your birthday
and all, but any chance
you can pick it up and
drop it off at this address?
Sure! I'd be happy to help.
Think of all the times you helped me
when I had a sprained arm,
or a leg, or a spleen,
or a tongue,
- or a finger...
- Twice.
Or a clavicle or a ribcage,
- or a metatarsal...
- Thanks, Milo.
No problem.
- Nice acting job.
- I had to bust out the doe eyes.
Use only in case
of emergency.
What if he shows up
too early for the party?
I'm way ahead of you. Remember
Elliot, the crossing guard?
Be sure to watch your step,
and I mean that two ways.
I mean, watch your step
and watch your step.
Elliot here.
Is this Elliot who monitors
local safety violations?
Well, "safety first" is certainly
one of my six safety-related mottos.
I'd like to report a violation.
I just saw Milo Murphy's bike,
and the back wheel
is a definite safety hazard.
It might fly off any second.
You had me at "Milo Murphy's bike."
You're on my radar, Milo Murphy.
No wait, no! That's a
flock of birds. Wait, wait.
There.
Now you're on my radar, Milo Murphy.
- Stop, Milo!
- Elliot, you might wanna duck.
Huh? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
No, I mean, you might want this duck.
I found him wandering
in traffic earlier.
I figured, you know, with you
being the crossing guard...
- Safety czar.
- Safety czar,
you might be able to
get him somewhere safe.
Well, there is a little
pond right over there.
Don't move.
Do not go anywhere.
No!
I have reason to believe
your vehicle may be unsafe.
I'm going to have to inspect it.
Okay. But you might
wanna duck first.
Don't be ridiculous.
You couldn't possibly have
another duck back...
No, I meant because of the tire.
Just for that, Murphy,
you're getting the full inspection.
Well, I did my own
inspection this morning,
but I guess you can
never be too safe.
Oh, yes, you can...
- not be too safe.
- Do I have to remove my shoes?
This is perfect.
The track makes everyone
wear helmets and fireproof jumpsuits.
Oh, great! For once,
we won't look out of place.
Ah! Thanks for
helping us set up, guys.
Time for our checklist.
Fire-retardant netting, check.
Radiation screens, check.
Glow in the dark T-shirts in
case of power outage, check.
Let's get to work.
All right, Mr. Murphy,
you passed. Barely.
- Cool. See ya!
- Straighten that helmet!
I've got my super safety senses
trained on you from now on.
And I mean that two ways!
Actually, it's just one.
Your party planner has
arrived with a bubble machine.
Chaos is over, order begins.
You, cards on every table.
Color coded by the age,
gender and cake preference.
You, with the funny hair,
these banners should be all
five feet from the ground.
You, nail biter, make
sure all the utensils
are parallel to each other.
Step to it, people.
And we brought mattresses
to hide under
in case of falling debris.
Plus, we can wrap ourselves
in them for duck attacks.
Wow, that was convenient.
All malls should have
drive-through windows.
Hmm. Kind of a light day.
Okay, everyone,
clear the perimeter.
And Murphy's Law
counter-measures engaged.
He's a block away,
T-minus 20 seconds.
Roll in the decoy!
I'm planning on staying in
this bush the whole party.
Amanda scares me.
Industrial Industries.
"Serving the industrial needs
of industry for over 50 years."
This looks like the place.
Happy birthday!
Wow, you guys!
A real birthday party?
- Got you!
- You used the doe eyes.
And they've got go-karts.
They have karts?
Let's go.
This is great, guys.
Let's go!
# No time for trivial things #
# Gotta get up
and get out into the world #
♪ Find a spot in the middle of kings, ♪
♪ gonna go into the city in a whirl ♪
♪ I gotta go ♪
# Oh, I'm Mr. Go #
# They call me Mr. Go #
# Oh, but you know
I've gotta go #
♪ Gotta get gone,
get gone, gone ♪
# Go #
Did you see that?
That was awesome!
Uh-oh! I think that was
Amanda's bubble machine.
And we have all of our limbs.
Well, except for
one-armed Willy.
It's a nickname.
I have both my arms.
I am missing one leg, though.
Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Milo and candles,
can't be too careful.
I'm afraid we have
a problem, dear.
Diogee got into
the cake and ice cream.
Sorry, Milo, the cake got ruined.
Though cake and ice cream
would've been nice,
I already got my wish.
I had a birthday party and
nothing went horribly wrong.
Oh, balloons!
Huh?
This is the best birthday ever.
Ice cream and cake.
Correction, this is better
than the best birthday ever!
Quick, everyone wrap
yourselves in the mattresses.
- There he is.
- Hi, Milo.
I can't believe
we're getting extra credit
just for going to an opera.
You ever sit through an opera
before? We're earning it.
Oh! There's Amanda.
- Amanda, huh?
- Oh, no, no, it's just that...
She's someone we know
from school, you know?
- How's my cast?
- One of your best.
Excuse me.
- Hey, Amanda.
- Milo!
Uh, I mean, hi, Milo.
What are you doing here?
Extra credit
for Mrs. White's class.
You can sit with us
in the center if you want.
I bought an extra seat
in case mine got destroyed.
How would your seat
get destroyed?
- It's best not to speculate.
- Okay, that's why I'm, well...
I'm a little nervous.
What I love about opera is that
it's so well-rehearsed
and predictable.
And the thing is, there's just so much
that could go wrong...
in this general area.
Oh, that!
Oh, don't worry!
Murphy's Law or not,
the show must go on.
I hope so because
it's just that I have...
- Milo.
- Huh? Oh!
Because I'm using up three
of my scheduled enjoyment
- hours for this.
- You schedule time to enjoy things?
How else am I
going to fit it in?
Wow! Every minute of
your day is accounted for.
"Wednesday, 10:50 to 10:55,
peel and eat an orange."
This opera takes exactly
two hours and 11 minutes,
plus, I set aside
an extra 1.5 minutes,
for an ovation, just in
case it's really good.
My enjoyment hours are
very precious to me,
nothing can go wrong.
Don't worry, Amanda,
I'll be there to help.
Oh, that's great.
You realize that you could
shave a good three minutes
of your orange peeling time
if you switch to tangerines.
Noted.
- So what's with the big ugly tie?
- This is an ascot.
The last time I wore something
that big, they brought me a lobster.
What I'm saying is, it
looks like a lobster bib.
When you're in a restaurant
and you order a lobster...
- I get it!
- Excuse me.
May I have some
pistachios, please?
I'm sorry, my good
man, but it seems that
we're fresh out of
pistachios at the moment.
Yeah, we're all out.
But, aren't those
pistachios right behind you?
Yes, well, uh, you see...
those are display pistachios.
We're not allowed to sell
display pistachios.
Wouldn't you prefer a rubbery-like
woodland creature to
chew on instead, hmm?
Actually, I'd really prefer
some pistachios, please.
I think he's hypnotized himself.
Fine. I'll give you four.
It's righty-tighty,
leftie-loosie.
I know how
dispensers work.
Uh, what's the problem?
Are you guys new at this?
That's a rather
presumptuous accusation.
Yes. It's not like
we tied up the guy who
usually does this and
stashed him in the basement.
Man, that's a long way to go
for a night off, Bob!
Here, give me a boost,
there's gotta be a lock
or something up here.
- Would you please hurry up?
- I don't see anything.
Well, what do you know?
It's a righty-loosie dispenser.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, no! Hold on.
- You had one job.
- Yeah, you had the same job.
I think you'll like this opera.
It's about a morally conflicted
crime boss who's seeing a therapist.
Whatever. Extra
credit's extra credit.
Oh, it sounds like
they're ready to start.
- Where's Milo?
- I better go find him.
We got pistachios all over the place.
Are you bragging
or should I get a broom?
- How is that even bragging?
- I'll get a broom.
♪ How dare a Baritone
come into our deli ♪
♪ He's lucky I don't
punch him in the belly... ♪
Ah, those lights up there,
they seem a little loose to me.
Ah, they'll be all right.
Unless someone accidentally
leans on that backdrop too hard,
hitting that fireman's ax,
causing it to fall on the floor,
startling that rat
who runs into that lamp,
causing it to fall over,
knocking into those tie-offs,
causing that rope to come loose.
Wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa!
How could that lamp
hit those ropes?
No, no, no, not that lamp.
That lamp and those ropes.
Oh, I see. What about
that sandbag over there?
Not important.
Anyway, if all that happens,
- then I suppose you'd have a problem.
- Ah, good enough, I guess.
Or that rope could just slip off 'cause
I didn't really tie it very tight.
- Say, where'd you get that?
- I got a stash in the back. Come on.
# You know, that Baritone
thinks he's gonna tell us... #
Ooh! Better make sure
those lights don't fall
and knock out those actors.
That would seriously mess
with Amanda's enjoyment hours.
# ...I hear you shaking #
# I'll box his ears
and all will hear his ringing #
- # We hear you, boss #
- # Yes? #
Oh, no! Zack, look.
# Then he's going to
wake up with a horse? #
I don't remember this
opera having a dog in it.
Diogee, go home.
This is different than
the last time I saw it.
- Deep cleansing breath.
- Don't you yoga me.
♪ He's singing on our turf ♪
# You know, I think
he wants to fight us #
♪ If he doesn't watch his step ♪
♪ I'm gonna give him laryngitis ♪
Milo, what are you doing?
I'm making sure nothing
goes wrong back here.
Amanda's scheduled
enjoyment hours
don't just grow
on trees, you know.
She only has the two hours,
12 minutes and change,
if there's an ovation.
Yeah, I think that ovation
ship may have sailed.
I just hope
nothing else goes wrong.
And that ship is sailing right now.
# He'll be sleeping
with a mackerel #
# This is war! #
♪ That's not your call to make ♪
- # A music war #
- # This is a big mistake #
# We're going to war #
- # Why can't you see? #
- # A music war #
# Stop singing over me #
- # This is war A music war #
- Oh, no!
Zack, flip that switch back.
No, the other switch.
# .. war #
And no one's the wiser.
You're a calm blue ocean.
♪ That baritone's a bother ♪
♪ He's not singing in my key ♪
♪ And now
I've got this music war ♪
# It's such anxiety... #
Hey, Milo, look at the
chandelier, it's slipping.
Well, that's not good.
I'm on it.
♪ It keeps me wide awake at
night and gives me panic attacks ♪
♪ So I've come here
to your office ♪
♪ To tell you all my thoughts ♪
♪ There's also issues
with my mother... ♪
# I'm afraid that's all
the time we've got #
Oh, boy!
That was probably my bad.
Uh-oh!
I better get out of here
before something else...
# Come on barito... #
# Come on... #
# Come... #
♪ Come on... ♪
# Come on bari... #
# Come on, Baritone,
it's time for a fight #
# Step out of the shadows
and into the light #
♪ That was your cue.
We haven't got all night. ♪
- Mr. Baritone, you're on.
- I'm not going out there.
The show must go on.
# I'm over here #
# You're shorter
than I remember #
# It's the physique
that I was cursed with #
♪ I'll admit that I'm confused ♪
# You're not the one
that I rehearsed with #
♪ I think we've gone off book ♪
♪ Now, I believe
this scene we're botching ♪
♪ But I feel we should go on ♪
♪ Because there's all
these people watching ♪
♪ So I guess that
you're a baritone ♪
♪ And now we have to fight ♪
# I'm a Mezzo-soprano,
and it all ends tonight #
# Actually, you sing between
a tenor and a bass #
♪ And that makes you a baritone ♪
♪ Your hostility's misplaced ♪
# Say what? #
♪ Mezzo-soprano
is your family name ♪
♪ But you all sing in baritone ♪
♪ That makes you all the same ♪
♪ Wait a minute, Mezzo-soprano
is a family name ♪
♪ But we all sing in baritone ♪
♪ That makes us all the same ♪
- You're right!
- # Mezzo-soprano is our family name #
♪ But we all sing in baritone ♪
♪ That makes us all the same. ♪
# We are all baritones #
♪ Diogee, go home! ♪
Whoo-hoo!
That was amazing.
Bravo!
That was surprisingly entertaining.
And including the five-minute ovation,
it was actually shorter
than it usually is,
so I've got time for a pizza!
- That sounds like a plan, let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
- Who knows what will happen there?
- Don't push it.
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
# We're all livin' in it #
♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪
Oh, thanks, everybody
That is so motivational.
♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪
# Whoa #
# Whoa #
# I'm not sitting here
watching the world turn #
♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪
♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
Look at that sky #
# Look at my sweater vest
I look so fly #
# Look at that mailbox
Look at that tree #
# It's about as beautiful
as it can be #
# Whoa #
♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪
♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
# Whoa, whoa #
♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
Yeah, it's a truck load of ice cream.
What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah, cake's all loaded up,
we'll be there.
What's the worst
that could happen?
Yeah. We're loading the
dynamite onto the plane now.
What's the worst
that could happen?
No problem.
I've got a dry change
of clothes in my locker.
See you in a bit.
So, tomorrow is Milo's birthday.
- Is he having a party?
- Probably not.
The last time he did,
it did not end well.
Hold it there!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
After that, they only invited
immediate family and me.
Well, that's sad.
Doesn't he miss
having a big birthday party?
Hi, Mrs. Murphy.
Hi, honey. Do you think we
should invite Zack tomorrow?
- And if so, does he have proper coverage?
- He's right here.
Hi Milo's mom. I overheard,
and I'm fully insured.
Um, just a thought, but is it okay
if we invite some kids from school?
It could be a surprise.
Hmm. Let's check with Martin.
He's still at work.
Hi, dear. Melissa and Zack
were thinking of a surprise party
for Milo tomorrow.
How is our liability coverage?
Oh, better idea. Not at our home.
We could do it at the Play Park.
Yeah, the go-kart track!
It'll be perfect. They already
have all the party supplies.
Fire extinguishers,
helmets, first-aid kits...
Plus, they're fully insured.
So, we can invite people?
- Sure.
- Great! Surprise party.
We'll have to keep him busy all
afternoon so he doesn't suspect.
We'll handle that.
See you tomorrow.
That's weird,
nobody pressed the button.
- Oh! Hey, Milo.
- Hey, guys!
- Did you change?
- Yeah, this one's all dry.
I have, like, 30 of these.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Surprise party for Milo.
Won't it be dangerous?
You're 100 feet underwater
right now swimming with eels.
What's your point?
So, Mort, you coming to Milo's party?
As long as your dad's there.
- He's a paramedic, right?
- Right.
Surprise party for Milo!
I don't know. My risk
tolerance only goes so high.
- Whoa!
- We'll all be wearing helmets.
- It'll be fun.
- Okay, we're in.
I like parties.
The border in this photo
is a millimeter thicker
on the left than on the right.
You have a split
infinitive in the caption.
I don't know, Melissa. Things
get sort of messy around Milo.
- You know how I like order.
- I understand, Amanda.
I'm trying to figure out
the streamer situation,
but I guess it doesn't matter
if there's really
a cohesive color scheme,
and the balloons I'm ordering are
all different sizes and shapes,
but I can't imagine that it's
gonna be a problem...
All right, I'll organize it.
"Cohesive color scheme"
doesn't matter.
Don't think I don't
know what you just did.
- Yo, Milo. What up?
- Hey, Melissa!
Just installed the new
asteroid early warning system.
- Oh! What's with the arm?
- Sprained it.
Problem is, my dad has
an important package to be
picked up at the mall.
I can't do it with this arm.
I know it's your birthday
and all, but any chance
you can pick it up and
drop it off at this address?
Sure! I'd be happy to help.
Think of all the times you helped me
when I had a sprained arm,
or a leg, or a spleen,
or a tongue,
- or a finger...
- Twice.
Or a clavicle or a ribcage,
- or a metatarsal...
- Thanks, Milo.
No problem.
- Nice acting job.
- I had to bust out the doe eyes.
Use only in case
of emergency.
What if he shows up
too early for the party?
I'm way ahead of you. Remember
Elliot, the crossing guard?
Be sure to watch your step,
and I mean that two ways.
I mean, watch your step
and watch your step.
Elliot here.
Is this Elliot who monitors
local safety violations?
Well, "safety first" is certainly
one of my six safety-related mottos.
I'd like to report a violation.
I just saw Milo Murphy's bike,
and the back wheel
is a definite safety hazard.
It might fly off any second.
You had me at "Milo Murphy's bike."
You're on my radar, Milo Murphy.
No wait, no! That's a
flock of birds. Wait, wait.
There.
Now you're on my radar, Milo Murphy.
- Stop, Milo!
- Elliot, you might wanna duck.
Huh? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
No, I mean, you might want this duck.
I found him wandering
in traffic earlier.
I figured, you know, with you
being the crossing guard...
- Safety czar.
- Safety czar,
you might be able to
get him somewhere safe.
Well, there is a little
pond right over there.
Don't move.
Do not go anywhere.
No!
I have reason to believe
your vehicle may be unsafe.
I'm going to have to inspect it.
Okay. But you might
wanna duck first.
Don't be ridiculous.
You couldn't possibly have
another duck back...
No, I meant because of the tire.
Just for that, Murphy,
you're getting the full inspection.
Well, I did my own
inspection this morning,
but I guess you can
never be too safe.
Oh, yes, you can...
- not be too safe.
- Do I have to remove my shoes?
This is perfect.
The track makes everyone
wear helmets and fireproof jumpsuits.
Oh, great! For once,
we won't look out of place.
Ah! Thanks for
helping us set up, guys.
Time for our checklist.
Fire-retardant netting, check.
Radiation screens, check.
Glow in the dark T-shirts in
case of power outage, check.
Let's get to work.
All right, Mr. Murphy,
you passed. Barely.
- Cool. See ya!
- Straighten that helmet!
I've got my super safety senses
trained on you from now on.
And I mean that two ways!
Actually, it's just one.
Your party planner has
arrived with a bubble machine.
Chaos is over, order begins.
You, cards on every table.
Color coded by the age,
gender and cake preference.
You, with the funny hair,
these banners should be all
five feet from the ground.
You, nail biter, make
sure all the utensils
are parallel to each other.
Step to it, people.
And we brought mattresses
to hide under
in case of falling debris.
Plus, we can wrap ourselves
in them for duck attacks.
Wow, that was convenient.
All malls should have
drive-through windows.
Hmm. Kind of a light day.
Okay, everyone,
clear the perimeter.
And Murphy's Law
counter-measures engaged.
He's a block away,
T-minus 20 seconds.
Roll in the decoy!
I'm planning on staying in
this bush the whole party.
Amanda scares me.
Industrial Industries.
"Serving the industrial needs
of industry for over 50 years."
This looks like the place.
Happy birthday!
Wow, you guys!
A real birthday party?
- Got you!
- You used the doe eyes.
And they've got go-karts.
They have karts?
Let's go.
This is great, guys.
Let's go!
# No time for trivial things #
# Gotta get up
and get out into the world #
♪ Find a spot in the middle of kings, ♪
♪ gonna go into the city in a whirl ♪
♪ I gotta go ♪
# Oh, I'm Mr. Go #
# They call me Mr. Go #
# Oh, but you know
I've gotta go #
♪ Gotta get gone,
get gone, gone ♪
# Go #
Did you see that?
That was awesome!
Uh-oh! I think that was
Amanda's bubble machine.
And we have all of our limbs.
Well, except for
one-armed Willy.
It's a nickname.
I have both my arms.
I am missing one leg, though.
Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Milo and candles,
can't be too careful.
I'm afraid we have
a problem, dear.
Diogee got into
the cake and ice cream.
Sorry, Milo, the cake got ruined.
Though cake and ice cream
would've been nice,
I already got my wish.
I had a birthday party and
nothing went horribly wrong.
Oh, balloons!
Huh?
This is the best birthday ever.
Ice cream and cake.
Correction, this is better
than the best birthday ever!
Quick, everyone wrap
yourselves in the mattresses.
- There he is.
- Hi, Milo.
I can't believe
we're getting extra credit
just for going to an opera.
You ever sit through an opera
before? We're earning it.
Oh! There's Amanda.
- Amanda, huh?
- Oh, no, no, it's just that...
She's someone we know
from school, you know?
- How's my cast?
- One of your best.
Excuse me.
- Hey, Amanda.
- Milo!
Uh, I mean, hi, Milo.
What are you doing here?
Extra credit
for Mrs. White's class.
You can sit with us
in the center if you want.
I bought an extra seat
in case mine got destroyed.
How would your seat
get destroyed?
- It's best not to speculate.
- Okay, that's why I'm, well...
I'm a little nervous.
What I love about opera is that
it's so well-rehearsed
and predictable.
And the thing is, there's just so much
that could go wrong...
in this general area.
Oh, that!
Oh, don't worry!
Murphy's Law or not,
the show must go on.
I hope so because
it's just that I have...
- Milo.
- Huh? Oh!
Because I'm using up three
of my scheduled enjoyment
- hours for this.
- You schedule time to enjoy things?
How else am I
going to fit it in?
Wow! Every minute of
your day is accounted for.
"Wednesday, 10:50 to 10:55,
peel and eat an orange."
This opera takes exactly
two hours and 11 minutes,
plus, I set aside
an extra 1.5 minutes,
for an ovation, just in
case it's really good.
My enjoyment hours are
very precious to me,
nothing can go wrong.
Don't worry, Amanda,
I'll be there to help.
Oh, that's great.
You realize that you could
shave a good three minutes
of your orange peeling time
if you switch to tangerines.
Noted.
- So what's with the big ugly tie?
- This is an ascot.
The last time I wore something
that big, they brought me a lobster.
What I'm saying is, it
looks like a lobster bib.
When you're in a restaurant
and you order a lobster...
- I get it!
- Excuse me.
May I have some
pistachios, please?
I'm sorry, my good
man, but it seems that
we're fresh out of
pistachios at the moment.
Yeah, we're all out.
But, aren't those
pistachios right behind you?
Yes, well, uh, you see...
those are display pistachios.
We're not allowed to sell
display pistachios.
Wouldn't you prefer a rubbery-like
woodland creature to
chew on instead, hmm?
Actually, I'd really prefer
some pistachios, please.
I think he's hypnotized himself.
Fine. I'll give you four.
It's righty-tighty,
leftie-loosie.
I know how
dispensers work.
Uh, what's the problem?
Are you guys new at this?
That's a rather
presumptuous accusation.
Yes. It's not like
we tied up the guy who
usually does this and
stashed him in the basement.
Man, that's a long way to go
for a night off, Bob!
Here, give me a boost,
there's gotta be a lock
or something up here.
- Would you please hurry up?
- I don't see anything.
Well, what do you know?
It's a righty-loosie dispenser.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, no! Hold on.
- You had one job.
- Yeah, you had the same job.
I think you'll like this opera.
It's about a morally conflicted
crime boss who's seeing a therapist.
Whatever. Extra
credit's extra credit.
Oh, it sounds like
they're ready to start.
- Where's Milo?
- I better go find him.
We got pistachios all over the place.
Are you bragging
or should I get a broom?
- How is that even bragging?
- I'll get a broom.
♪ How dare a Baritone
come into our deli ♪
♪ He's lucky I don't
punch him in the belly... ♪
Ah, those lights up there,
they seem a little loose to me.
Ah, they'll be all right.
Unless someone accidentally
leans on that backdrop too hard,
hitting that fireman's ax,
causing it to fall on the floor,
startling that rat
who runs into that lamp,
causing it to fall over,
knocking into those tie-offs,
causing that rope to come loose.
Wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa!
How could that lamp
hit those ropes?
No, no, no, not that lamp.
That lamp and those ropes.
Oh, I see. What about
that sandbag over there?
Not important.
Anyway, if all that happens,
- then I suppose you'd have a problem.
- Ah, good enough, I guess.
Or that rope could just slip off 'cause
I didn't really tie it very tight.
- Say, where'd you get that?
- I got a stash in the back. Come on.
# You know, that Baritone
thinks he's gonna tell us... #
Ooh! Better make sure
those lights don't fall
and knock out those actors.
That would seriously mess
with Amanda's enjoyment hours.
# ...I hear you shaking #
# I'll box his ears
and all will hear his ringing #
- # We hear you, boss #
- # Yes? #
Oh, no! Zack, look.
# Then he's going to
wake up with a horse? #
I don't remember this
opera having a dog in it.
Diogee, go home.
This is different than
the last time I saw it.
- Deep cleansing breath.
- Don't you yoga me.
♪ He's singing on our turf ♪
# You know, I think
he wants to fight us #
♪ If he doesn't watch his step ♪
♪ I'm gonna give him laryngitis ♪
Milo, what are you doing?
I'm making sure nothing
goes wrong back here.
Amanda's scheduled
enjoyment hours
don't just grow
on trees, you know.
She only has the two hours,
12 minutes and change,
if there's an ovation.
Yeah, I think that ovation
ship may have sailed.
I just hope
nothing else goes wrong.
And that ship is sailing right now.
# He'll be sleeping
with a mackerel #
# This is war! #
♪ That's not your call to make ♪
- # A music war #
- # This is a big mistake #
# We're going to war #
- # Why can't you see? #
- # A music war #
# Stop singing over me #
- # This is war A music war #
- Oh, no!
Zack, flip that switch back.
No, the other switch.
# .. war #
And no one's the wiser.
You're a calm blue ocean.
♪ That baritone's a bother ♪
♪ He's not singing in my key ♪
♪ And now
I've got this music war ♪
# It's such anxiety... #
Hey, Milo, look at the
chandelier, it's slipping.
Well, that's not good.
I'm on it.
♪ It keeps me wide awake at
night and gives me panic attacks ♪
♪ So I've come here
to your office ♪
♪ To tell you all my thoughts ♪
♪ There's also issues
with my mother... ♪
# I'm afraid that's all
the time we've got #
Oh, boy!
That was probably my bad.
Uh-oh!
I better get out of here
before something else...
# Come on barito... #
# Come on... #
# Come... #
♪ Come on... ♪
# Come on bari... #
# Come on, Baritone,
it's time for a fight #
# Step out of the shadows
and into the light #
♪ That was your cue.
We haven't got all night. ♪
- Mr. Baritone, you're on.
- I'm not going out there.
The show must go on.
# I'm over here #
# You're shorter
than I remember #
# It's the physique
that I was cursed with #
♪ I'll admit that I'm confused ♪
# You're not the one
that I rehearsed with #
♪ I think we've gone off book ♪
♪ Now, I believe
this scene we're botching ♪
♪ But I feel we should go on ♪
♪ Because there's all
these people watching ♪
♪ So I guess that
you're a baritone ♪
♪ And now we have to fight ♪
# I'm a Mezzo-soprano,
and it all ends tonight #
# Actually, you sing between
a tenor and a bass #
♪ And that makes you a baritone ♪
♪ Your hostility's misplaced ♪
# Say what? #
♪ Mezzo-soprano
is your family name ♪
♪ But you all sing in baritone ♪
♪ That makes you all the same ♪
♪ Wait a minute, Mezzo-soprano
is a family name ♪
♪ But we all sing in baritone ♪
♪ That makes us all the same ♪
- You're right!
- # Mezzo-soprano is our family name #
♪ But we all sing in baritone ♪
♪ That makes us all the same. ♪
# We are all baritones #
♪ Diogee, go home! ♪
Whoo-hoo!
That was amazing.
Bravo!
That was surprisingly entertaining.
And including the five-minute ovation,
it was actually shorter
than it usually is,
so I've got time for a pizza!
- That sounds like a plan, let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
- Who knows what will happen there?
- Don't push it.
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #
# We're all livin' in it #
♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪
Oh, thanks, everybody
That is so motivational.
♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪
# Whoa #
# Whoa #
# I'm not sitting here
watching the world turn #
♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪
♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪
# It's my world
and we're all livin' in it #