Mike Tyson Mysteries (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 9 - The Yung and The Restless - full transcript
Sick and tired of pointless mysteries, Yung suffers identity crisis and applies to work at a clothing store in an attempt to live like a normal person. Meanwhile, the team is asked by an elderly woman to find her beloved talking parrot.
*MIKE TYSON MYSTERIES*
*MIKE TYSON MYSTERIES*
*MIKE TYSON MYSTERIES*
Episode Title: "A Mystery in Little Italy"
Tonight on our Celebrity Chefs,
Sports Edition, we have...
former college basketball star and
broadcaster Rosalyn Gold-Onwude,
three time NBA champ
Bruce Bowen,
and former Heavyweight Champion
of the World, Mike Tyson.
Rosalyn, please tell us what
charity you'll be playing for.
I'm playing for the Rosalyn
Gold-Onwude Foundation.
We offer scholarships
to help disadvantaged youths
who want to pursue
a career in sports.
Oh, that's terrific.
Bruce Bowen,
if you win tonight,
what charity will receive $10,000?
My foundation.
The Bruce Bowen Foundation.
It's an educational
organization
dedicated to transforming US public
education for under-served youth.
Hm... That...
That is so important.
Mike Tyson, what charity
are you playing for?
The Mike Tyson Foundation.
Can you tell us a little bit
about the Mike Tyson Foundation?
Oh, it's just
a standard foundation.
Just a typical foundation.
Just like these two other foundations.
No further questions
and no, thank you.
Uh-huh. Okay, chefs,
let's open your baskets.
We have baby octopus.
Plantains.
Smoked kippers.
And cream of mushroom soup.
Your 30 minutes begins now.
Behind!
I just froze. I mean...
I had a plan for the baby
octopus and the plantains,
but when I pulled out
those smoked kippers,
man, it was like
my head exploded.
Behind!
Those guys were flying around
that kitchen like jackrabbits.
I was just
paralyzed by the clock.
And also, I wish jackrabbit
was one of the ingredients.
I would have had
a plan for that, too.
Chefs, you have 18 minutes
remaining on the clock.
Looks like Rosalyn is grilling
the octopus, which is...
Oh, God!
Mike, are you okay?
I'm good, I'm good.
This is just a tricky can-opener.
I'm good.
How much time did you say?
Uh... A little under 18 minutes.
Okay, okay, I'm gonna
focus on the protein.
Baby octopus. Baby octopus.
Maybe I toast it?
Gee! Bruce is already using the
toaster to toast a baguette.
Which he got from the pantry.
Which is not even
part of the basket.
And I knew he was
gonna lose points for that.
So I was feeling
pretty confident at this point.
Behind!
Behind!
Behind!
Five...
four, three,
two, one.
Chefs, your time is up.
Oh, damn.
I must have cut myself.
I hope I didn't get
any on the food.
Let's see whose dish
is on the cutting board.
What? Aw...
Mike Tyson, I'm sorry,
I'm afraid you're going home.
Judges.
Mike, you didn't cook
any of the ingredients.
You didn't open the soup.
Nothing's been transformed.
You've simply put everything
in the blast chiller and...
- Yeah, to get it cold.
- Can I finish?
Yes, ma'am. Sorry.
But most importantly,
the dish is covered in your blood.
So, for these reasons,
you're going home.
Damn.
Thank you, judges.
Go, get 'em, guys.
Of course I'm disappointed.
The Mike Tyson Foundation
needed that $10,000.
But this just means that I have
to try harder. And I'll be back.
And this isn't
the last you'll see of me.
Where the ****
is the car, Deezy?
I told the driver
to take the team sightseeing.
I thought for sure you were gonna
make it to that dessert round.
Okay, hold on, Mike.
I'll call the driver right now.
To your left, uh,
Lady Liberty.
To your right,
Lower Manhattan.
You know, I was gonna open up
a bar with a buddy of mine.
Right there.
You see where
the little corner market is?
That would've been our bar.
We were all set to sign
the paperwork and then...
9/11 happened.
We needed an inspection
to get the loan,
but the whole city
was shut down.
Then six months later,
my buddy falls off a fishing
boat right off Montauk.
They never found the body.
So, no bar for me.
What are you gonna do?
Signal! Signal, please!
In America, we use signals!
Hello. Regal Luxury Transportation.
Burt speaking.
Mm-hmm.
He's already outside waiting?
Okay, uh, lemme...
I'm gonna take
the West Side Highway.
Tell him I'll be there
in 30 minutes.
He doesn't need to stand
outside and catch a cold.
I'll text him when I'm there
and he can come back out.
Well, this is fun.
Okay, Mike,
he'll be there in 30 minutes.
Cool, cool, then he can
just take us back to the hotel.
Well, Mike, when I booked the
Presidential Suite at the Waldorf Astoria,
I assumed you were
gonna win $10,000.
I think the prudent thing,
financially,
is for you to come home.
No way, Deezy.
All I want right now is to
plonk myself in that big bathtub
in the Presidential Suite
at the Waldorf Astoria,
and wash off all this
blood and octopus juice.
Okay, Mike, then at least
do me a favor.
We can make this whole trip
tax-deductible
if you were to do a mystery
while you were there.
That way, it's a business trip.
You know, a write-off.
Well, you're the brain,
Deezy, okay?
So, go dig around
in the pigeon coop
and find a mystery that
takes place in New York City,
Episode Title:
"A Mystery in Little Italy"
Was there anything
cream-based in the basket?
Like a... Like a cream of mushroom soup?
Michael! You could have...
**** you,
Monday morning quarterback.
It looks easy on television,
mother****.
Hey!
Mike Tyson Mystery Team.
I'm Sal DeBenedetto.
Follow me.
I'll take you to Mr. Russo.
Who the hell are you?
They call me
the exterminator.
Tell Mr. Russo he should
let this office air out
for the next
two or three hours.
Nobody tells Sal DeBenedetto
what to do.
Except for Mr. Russo.
Come on.
I bet I know where he is.
His favorite pizza joint
in all of New York City.
Thank you for
coming to see me, Mr. Tyson.
You and your mystery team.
Here, sit down.
Sit.
Sal, get everyone a chair.
You get one
for the **** bird.
Yes, sir, Mr. Russo.
Show some respect to the bird,
you **** gamooch.
So, what's your mystery?
Please, please...
First we eat.
Have a slice.
You never tasted
anything like this.
It's like my mama used to make.
In Sicily.
Huh? Huh?
It's good, huh?
It's pepperoni.
Mmm.
But they got
other toppings, too.
This place is...
It's incredible.
Now I...
I need your help.
It's a personal matter.
My son Carmine is...
He's disappeared.
With $32 million of my money.
I want you to find him
and find out
why he broke my heart.
And then, I want you
to bring him back home to me
so I can kill him.
Hey, Jason.
You made
an excellent pie tonight.
One of your very best.
Arrivederci.
All right, let's go
find this Carmine Russo.
Dad, he just said
he was gonna kill him.
Deezy says the only way to make this
trip a write-off is to solve a mystery.
Hey, this one's not marked.
Large pepperoni?
Oh, here.
35147, Hester.
Apartment 22.
Carmine Russo.
What?
You're gonna pair very nicely.
With that large pepperoni.
Huh?
Did you say delivery
or DiGiorno?
- Dad!
- Michael!
Why did you steal $32 million away
from your father and break his heart?
My father
doesn't have a heart.
I discovered that
his waste management company
is just a front for the mob.
He's a despicable person.
And that $32 million
is blood money,
so I'm gonna
donate it to charity.
I was just about
to transfer the money
but I couldn't decide what
charity I wanted to give it to.
I was leaning towards
the Bruce Bowen Foundation.
Hey, Mike!
Over here. Hey, team.
So how was the rest of your trip?
You solved that mystery?
I got good news
and I got bad news, Deezy.
The bad news is that
we did not solve the mystery.
But the good news is that we
received a very generous donation
to The Mike Tyson Foundation.
$32 million!
Holy shit, Mike!
Is this for real?
Deezy, watch out!
Oh, my goodness!
They got one of these here, too?
Deezy, you're not gonna
believe how good this place is.
Deezy?
Oh, damn! Deezy is dead.
Oh, damn! Deezy's alive!
Sync corrections by srjanapala
*MIKE TYSON MYSTERIES*
*MIKE TYSON MYSTERIES*
Episode Title: "A Mystery in Little Italy"
Tonight on our Celebrity Chefs,
Sports Edition, we have...
former college basketball star and
broadcaster Rosalyn Gold-Onwude,
three time NBA champ
Bruce Bowen,
and former Heavyweight Champion
of the World, Mike Tyson.
Rosalyn, please tell us what
charity you'll be playing for.
I'm playing for the Rosalyn
Gold-Onwude Foundation.
We offer scholarships
to help disadvantaged youths
who want to pursue
a career in sports.
Oh, that's terrific.
Bruce Bowen,
if you win tonight,
what charity will receive $10,000?
My foundation.
The Bruce Bowen Foundation.
It's an educational
organization
dedicated to transforming US public
education for under-served youth.
Hm... That...
That is so important.
Mike Tyson, what charity
are you playing for?
The Mike Tyson Foundation.
Can you tell us a little bit
about the Mike Tyson Foundation?
Oh, it's just
a standard foundation.
Just a typical foundation.
Just like these two other foundations.
No further questions
and no, thank you.
Uh-huh. Okay, chefs,
let's open your baskets.
We have baby octopus.
Plantains.
Smoked kippers.
And cream of mushroom soup.
Your 30 minutes begins now.
Behind!
I just froze. I mean...
I had a plan for the baby
octopus and the plantains,
but when I pulled out
those smoked kippers,
man, it was like
my head exploded.
Behind!
Those guys were flying around
that kitchen like jackrabbits.
I was just
paralyzed by the clock.
And also, I wish jackrabbit
was one of the ingredients.
I would have had
a plan for that, too.
Chefs, you have 18 minutes
remaining on the clock.
Looks like Rosalyn is grilling
the octopus, which is...
Oh, God!
Mike, are you okay?
I'm good, I'm good.
This is just a tricky can-opener.
I'm good.
How much time did you say?
Uh... A little under 18 minutes.
Okay, okay, I'm gonna
focus on the protein.
Baby octopus. Baby octopus.
Maybe I toast it?
Gee! Bruce is already using the
toaster to toast a baguette.
Which he got from the pantry.
Which is not even
part of the basket.
And I knew he was
gonna lose points for that.
So I was feeling
pretty confident at this point.
Behind!
Behind!
Behind!
Five...
four, three,
two, one.
Chefs, your time is up.
Oh, damn.
I must have cut myself.
I hope I didn't get
any on the food.
Let's see whose dish
is on the cutting board.
What? Aw...
Mike Tyson, I'm sorry,
I'm afraid you're going home.
Judges.
Mike, you didn't cook
any of the ingredients.
You didn't open the soup.
Nothing's been transformed.
You've simply put everything
in the blast chiller and...
- Yeah, to get it cold.
- Can I finish?
Yes, ma'am. Sorry.
But most importantly,
the dish is covered in your blood.
So, for these reasons,
you're going home.
Damn.
Thank you, judges.
Go, get 'em, guys.
Of course I'm disappointed.
The Mike Tyson Foundation
needed that $10,000.
But this just means that I have
to try harder. And I'll be back.
And this isn't
the last you'll see of me.
Where the ****
is the car, Deezy?
I told the driver
to take the team sightseeing.
I thought for sure you were gonna
make it to that dessert round.
Okay, hold on, Mike.
I'll call the driver right now.
To your left, uh,
Lady Liberty.
To your right,
Lower Manhattan.
You know, I was gonna open up
a bar with a buddy of mine.
Right there.
You see where
the little corner market is?
That would've been our bar.
We were all set to sign
the paperwork and then...
9/11 happened.
We needed an inspection
to get the loan,
but the whole city
was shut down.
Then six months later,
my buddy falls off a fishing
boat right off Montauk.
They never found the body.
So, no bar for me.
What are you gonna do?
Signal! Signal, please!
In America, we use signals!
Hello. Regal Luxury Transportation.
Burt speaking.
Mm-hmm.
He's already outside waiting?
Okay, uh, lemme...
I'm gonna take
the West Side Highway.
Tell him I'll be there
in 30 minutes.
He doesn't need to stand
outside and catch a cold.
I'll text him when I'm there
and he can come back out.
Well, this is fun.
Okay, Mike,
he'll be there in 30 minutes.
Cool, cool, then he can
just take us back to the hotel.
Well, Mike, when I booked the
Presidential Suite at the Waldorf Astoria,
I assumed you were
gonna win $10,000.
I think the prudent thing,
financially,
is for you to come home.
No way, Deezy.
All I want right now is to
plonk myself in that big bathtub
in the Presidential Suite
at the Waldorf Astoria,
and wash off all this
blood and octopus juice.
Okay, Mike, then at least
do me a favor.
We can make this whole trip
tax-deductible
if you were to do a mystery
while you were there.
That way, it's a business trip.
You know, a write-off.
Well, you're the brain,
Deezy, okay?
So, go dig around
in the pigeon coop
and find a mystery that
takes place in New York City,
Episode Title:
"A Mystery in Little Italy"
Was there anything
cream-based in the basket?
Like a... Like a cream of mushroom soup?
Michael! You could have...
**** you,
Monday morning quarterback.
It looks easy on television,
mother****.
Hey!
Mike Tyson Mystery Team.
I'm Sal DeBenedetto.
Follow me.
I'll take you to Mr. Russo.
Who the hell are you?
They call me
the exterminator.
Tell Mr. Russo he should
let this office air out
for the next
two or three hours.
Nobody tells Sal DeBenedetto
what to do.
Except for Mr. Russo.
Come on.
I bet I know where he is.
His favorite pizza joint
in all of New York City.
Thank you for
coming to see me, Mr. Tyson.
You and your mystery team.
Here, sit down.
Sit.
Sal, get everyone a chair.
You get one
for the **** bird.
Yes, sir, Mr. Russo.
Show some respect to the bird,
you **** gamooch.
So, what's your mystery?
Please, please...
First we eat.
Have a slice.
You never tasted
anything like this.
It's like my mama used to make.
In Sicily.
Huh? Huh?
It's good, huh?
It's pepperoni.
Mmm.
But they got
other toppings, too.
This place is...
It's incredible.
Now I...
I need your help.
It's a personal matter.
My son Carmine is...
He's disappeared.
With $32 million of my money.
I want you to find him
and find out
why he broke my heart.
And then, I want you
to bring him back home to me
so I can kill him.
Hey, Jason.
You made
an excellent pie tonight.
One of your very best.
Arrivederci.
All right, let's go
find this Carmine Russo.
Dad, he just said
he was gonna kill him.
Deezy says the only way to make this
trip a write-off is to solve a mystery.
Hey, this one's not marked.
Large pepperoni?
Oh, here.
35147, Hester.
Apartment 22.
Carmine Russo.
What?
You're gonna pair very nicely.
With that large pepperoni.
Huh?
Did you say delivery
or DiGiorno?
- Dad!
- Michael!
Why did you steal $32 million away
from your father and break his heart?
My father
doesn't have a heart.
I discovered that
his waste management company
is just a front for the mob.
He's a despicable person.
And that $32 million
is blood money,
so I'm gonna
donate it to charity.
I was just about
to transfer the money
but I couldn't decide what
charity I wanted to give it to.
I was leaning towards
the Bruce Bowen Foundation.
Hey, Mike!
Over here. Hey, team.
So how was the rest of your trip?
You solved that mystery?
I got good news
and I got bad news, Deezy.
The bad news is that
we did not solve the mystery.
But the good news is that we
received a very generous donation
to The Mike Tyson Foundation.
$32 million!
Holy shit, Mike!
Is this for real?
Deezy, watch out!
Oh, my goodness!
They got one of these here, too?
Deezy, you're not gonna
believe how good this place is.
Deezy?
Oh, damn! Deezy is dead.
Oh, damn! Deezy's alive!
Sync corrections by srjanapala