Midsomer Murders (1997–…): Season 8, Episode 3 - Orchis Fatalis - full transcript
Barnaby and Scott follow a trail of dead people involved in the collecting of rare orchids.
THUNDER
BIRDS SCREECH
There they are!
I made those marks last year!
Just look at it!
I knew I was right.
It's a yellow roth.
And are you sure it's the only one
of its kind in the world?
Of course.
It's got to be worth
at least ã100,000.
I know someone who will pay
a lot more than that.
Please don't get caught.
I'll phone the moment I get home.
This is our crowning achievement,
Madeline.
It will flower again
in 12 months' time.
Now is the time to call it a day.
You've been saying that for ages.
But this time I mean it.
We'd miss it, Jimmy. It's exciting.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Madam, taxi here.
Thank you.
♪ NEW ORLEANS JAZZ
Try your luck, ladies and gentlemen!
Only ã1 a ticket!
Or six for a fiver!
No, I'm sorry, ladies.
If you haven't got a zero,
you haven't got a prize.
Roll up! Roll up! Try your luck!
Only ã1 a ticket!
Or six for a fiver!
Captain! Want to try your luck?
Put me down for a fiver.
Good man.
I'll try and get
your winning tickets from the top.
If you've got a nought,
you're a winner.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
There you go.
Thank you.
Thank you!
60! I've won, Barnaby! I've won!
So you have, Captain.
Let us see what you have won.
There we are.
Oh, no!
Not the bloody tea cosy!
I won that thing last year!
Look, this time, be a good chap. Pop
it in with the compost, would you?
Roll up! Roll up! Try your luck!
Wonderful, wonderful prizes,
ladies and gentlemen! ã1 a ticket!
Stand by your beds! Here they come!
Hello. Good afternoon.
Let me introduce my research
assistant, Jonathan Makepeace.
We congratulate
the Midsomer Malham Orchid Society
for a magnificent display.
I thank Munro Hilliard
for hosting this wonderful show in
his perfectly elegant Malham Manor.
Before we hand out prizes, Jonathan
has some very exciting news.
Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me
great pleasure to announce
a single monkey orchid is growing
again in a wood on the Downs.
MURMURING
We need volunteers
to mount a 24-hour vigil
to protect it from poachers
while it's in bloom.
Your chairman, Mr Hilliard,
has offered to work a rota.
I'll volunteer, Mr Hilliard.
Good show, Mrs Maitland!
If any more of you
would give me your names,
before the end of the day,
I'd be most grateful.
And now it's over to you,
Professor Winstanley.
Well, goodness,
the judging wasn't easy this year.
But the winner of best plant in show
goes to...
Captain Tucker!
GASPS
For his miniature cymbidium.
Congratulations. Very well earned.
Thank you, Professor.
Second prize goes to Mr Hilliard
for his phalaenopsis Follett.
Well done, Munro.
And third prize goes to
Mr Plummer's dendrobium nobile.
It was a close-run thing,
Mr Plummer.
Well, we live to show another day,
don't we?
We do indeed.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, I think
I speak for all of us when I thank
Professor Winstanley for giving
so generously of her precious time.
It's been a pleasure.
See you next year!
♪ NEW ORLEANS JAZZ
Winning a poxy third!
You mean you were beaten again
by Munro Hilliard?
Pompous old twit!
Just because he owns the place,
he thinks it's his right to win.
He only came second. He was gutted.
You know what I think
about your bloody orchids!
Just fancy, over-priced weeds!
If you buy any more,
you're going to ruin us.
Can't you grow
something we can eat?!
How's it going?
There's a bottle of Rioja left!
Congratulations on yet another
botanical extravaganza, Mrs Barnaby.
Thank you, Miss Villiers.
Can I tempt you to the tombola?
ã1 a ticket or six for a fiver.
Yes, of course.
250. That's a prize, isn't it?
It certainly is.
Thank you.
Baedeker's Guide To Switzerland!
Wonderfully serendipitous!
Thank you, Mr Barnaby.
I've got something at home
that you would literally kill for.
Is that a fact?
You'd remortgage your manor house
just to get your hands on it.
The Hilliards don't have mortgages,
Henry.
Excuse me.
I've done my horticultural duty
for today.
I'm off to London
for some excitement.
You'll ruin us.
How much did that one cost?
It's priceless.
Well, don't expect me back
for breakfast!
HORN
Madeline!
Good morning, Socrates.
Madeline! It's me! Harry!
SIREN
Did you touch anything, Harry?
No, of course not.
I only come here to change a heater.
Aren't you going to cover her up
or something?
Morning, sir.
Morning, Scott.
This is Harry Rose.
The local handyman.
Builder, decorator,
plumber and electrician.
That too.
He does jobs for Miss Villiers.
He found her.
Do you mind waiting outside, please?
No, of course not.
So, we've got an old woman's list.
(READS) Suitcase,
passport, Swiss money, cancel papers
and milk, hide safe key.
Could it have been a coronary?
Well...
Harry Rose called the local plod
and he called me
because he couldn't work out
what these stains were.
But he thinks
she might have topped herself.
She won this book
on my tombola stand.
So we've got something old.
Something very new.
Hm!
A borrowed library book.
And something blue.
You think she was going to
Switzerland to be married?
Married?
Yeah.
And if it all fell through...
She was jilted?
It's a reason
for her to kill herself.
Oh, come and look at this, sir.
'Hide safe key.'
Do you think we should open it, sir?
Er... Yes, we should.
Did you find the key?
No, sir.
Rose doesn't know where she kept it.
But with one of these old things,
you don't need one.
Really?
Where did you learn to do that?
School of hard locks, sir.
Oh, joy.
A diary. Hah!
(READS) Ante diem sextum nonas
maxima vulva...
My Latin's a bit rusty, Scott.
But I think this is saying
something rather rude.
Ancient history?
No, no.
It's this year's diary.
This year's. This month's.
This week.
She is a goer, isn't she?
She was. Do you want to see?
Latin wasn't on the syllabus
at my local comprehensive.
Safe-breaking no doubt was.
Oh!
An account book by the looks of it.
And one not intended
for inspection by the tax man.
Not with all the sums
written out in Roman numerals.
Need to get this stuff translated.
George! Seen the body?
Yes. I presume this is part
of the crime scene as well.
No. Not exactly.
Sgt Scott has got a unique
but highly effective way
of opening a locked safe.
How long has she been dead?
Certainly since last night.
So, what makes you think
it's anything but natural causes?
Well, we've got these stains here.
Take a statement from Rose.
See if we can trace her next of kin.
George,
how's your Latin?
Purely medical, I'm afraid.
Want a translator?
Brother Robert, up at
Midsomer Abbey. He's your best man.
The bonus is, his bees produce
the best honey I've ever tasted.
BUZZING
Harry Rose reckons
she's got no next of kin,
because she told him once
she was adopted.
She was a Classics teacher at
Midsomer Ladies' College. Retired.
What about Rose?
Works for everybody in the village.
Services everybody in the village?
Yeah, that too, sir.
Brother Robert?
Brother Robert, good morning, sir.
Morning.
I'm Detective Chief Inspector
Barnaby.
This is Detective Sergeant Scott.
We've come about the translation.
Oh, yes. The translation. Hm!
They won't sting you, young man,
if you keep still.
Achoo!
Bless you.
(READS) Cymbidium, odontioda,
phalaenopsis, papheopedilum.
These are all orchids.
An odontioda orchid
was sold for ã500
to a CM
on the 6th of September last year.
ã500 for a flower? Must be barking.
You need an expert for this.
Any suggestions?
Do you know Professor Winstanley?
My wife does. She judged
the flower show t'other day.
Um... Now, Brother Robert,
I'm afraid this diary
contains...
well, lurid details
of rather...robust sexual activity.
Really?
Mm.
(READS) Dies Saturni
ut canes in via
delicias fecimus.
Vinum bibimus
et interim...
fecit.
I see what you mean.
Saturday, we satisfied ourselves
like street dogs.
We drank wine
and did it again and again.
Ahem.
Last night, I shudder to recall,
he was impotent.
Tomorrow, therefore, I shall
arouse him, not only with
my endearments,
but with a potion.
Perhaps it's a little unfair,
given your calling,
Brother Robert, to ask you
to translate this stuff.
Not at all!
BELL
Time for vespers.
I'll let you know
what progress I'm making.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
I'm terribly sorry, Inspector.
Had a crisis with our strelizias.
These are beautiful, aren't they?
This collection was started
by Sir Wilfred Hilliard,
traveller and plant collector.
Grandfather of the president
of the Midsomer Orchid Society.
Your wife must know him.
I'm sure.
Jonathan, come and meet...
But you've met already, haven't you?
At the Malham Flower Show.
Yes.
Good morning.
Now, I take it you both knew
Miss Madeline Villiers.
Knew?
Yes, knew.
I'm sorry to be the bearer
of bad tidings.
Miss Villiers was found dead
yesterday morning.
Dead? That's terrible.
But she was at the flower show.
Yes, she was.
She gave you
three of my tombola tickets.
And it seemed to me...
you knew her quite well.
Well... Yes, we both did.
Madeline admired Jonathan's devotion
to our orchids.
Just that?
Well... I also advised her
on her magnificent garden.
I can't believe she's dead.
Me neither. It's... It's awful!
Sorry. It's hay fever.
Let's go into the office.
This is very kind of you. Thank you.
I'm intrigued.
Goodness me! It appears that
Madeline was selling
some of the world's rarest orchids.
For considerable amounts of money.
Look at this one, for example.
(READS) The phragmipedium kovachii.
That's from Peru.
It's an incredibly rare plant.
(READS) Sold on the 10th of July
to JK for...
Liv... VXCIX.
That's ã5,999.
(READS)
Neofinetia falcata, variegated.
To CP for...
For ã50,000.
No!
50 grand for a flower?!
Rich old Japanese men collect them.
They're little white flowers
with amazing leaves. Beautiful.
Yeah, but... 50 grand?!
Here it is.
Good God! Jonathan, look at this!
Papheopedilum Rothschildianum
flavum.
The flavum doesn't exist any more.
Yes, it does, according to this.
Papheopedilum. What's that?
It's a slipper orchid.
From paphos, meaning slipper.
It refers to the shape
of the bottom petal.
A yellow roth.
I don't believe it.
Sold to HP
for ã150,000.
Who's HP?
At that price,
it's probably Harry Potter.
Or Henry Plummer.
Henry?
Henry?
Henry?
How long has he been dead, George?
More than 36 hours.
Looks like he'd been out to dinner.
Perhaps the bill
didn't agree with him.
Mrs Plummer?
I know this isn't easy.
Can you tell me, when did you
last see your husband alive?
Around 7:30 on Saturday night.
He was going into town
to see this play...
Well, some floozy actress, actually.
And where did you go, Mrs Plummer?
Me?
I went up to London.
I got back yesterday,
after midnight.
Um... Got up late and...
When I saw that his bed hadn't been
slept in, I went looking for him.
Have you any idea why...
Yes.
I'll show you.
When I left, this place was full
of the most beautiful flowers.
Only a madman
would do a thing like this.
Looks like it's been sprayed
with something, sir. Weedkiller?
You think this is why
your husband committed suicide?
I don't know.
But orchids were his passion.
He certainly loved them
more than he loved me.
Can you think of anyone
who would want to destroy
your husband's orchid collection?
I was never part of that world.
I couldn't help noticing at the
flower show, it's very competitive.
Orchid growers are jealous
to the point of lunacy.
But no-one would destroy
the plants they idolise.
Henry's orchids didn't come cheap.
They certainly did not.
I have reason to believe
that your husband paid ã150,000
for a very rare orchid.
Did you know anything about that?
ã150,000? Where did he get
that kind of money from?
I don't know.
I understood he was retired.
Still, there must be considerable
equity in this house. Maybe he...
This was my parents' house.
The last thing I wanted
was to come back and live here.
Henry may have been ready
for retirement.
But I'm not.
Could he have raised a loan
against it?
He may have been reckless,
but not that reckless.
Mrs Plummer.
Are you sure you don't know about
this very rare orchid?
No, I don't.
But if it ever existed,
it's probably perished
along with the rest of them.
Will you excuse me?
What's wrong, Harry?
I didn't think it was right
to tell you on the phone.
I can't make this any easier,
Mr Fong.
She's dead.
Dead?
How can she be dead?
I spoke to her only last week!
I found her
sitting in this chair that morning.
Dressed in her Greek costume.
She looked very peaceful.
Where is she now?
The police took her.
She had her bag packed,
ready to leave with you.
They took that too.
(PRAYS)
Who did this?!
The police.
They took the books with them
as well.
Where's the orchid?
She sold it. Like you told her to.
She was a remarkable woman, Harry.
And I know
you took good care of her.
Thank you.
She was poisoned by hemlock.
Hemlock?
Conium maculatum.
Great favourite of the Greeks.
In fact, an infusion of hemlock was
used to kill Socrates in 399 BC.
Bit before my time, Mr Bullard.
So, she'd booked a flight
to Switzerland. Suitcase was packed.
She was about to be married.
Looking forward to the honeymoon.
Pardon?
I was thinking of the knickers, sir.
Mm. Of course you were.
But I agree, it's a scenario
that can't include suicide, can it?
But a million quid's worth
of smuggled orchids...
Now that could be a very good reason
why someone would kill her.
I tell you what I'd really
like to know, George,
is if our Mr Plummer here
really did hang himself.
I think it's time we paid a visit
to the chairman
of the Midsomer Orchid Society.
We may have an orchid war
on our hands.
Thank you, George.
What knickers?
Yes?
I'm Detective Chief Inspector
Barnaby. This is DS Scott.
What have you come to inspect?
Is Mr Hilliard at home, please?
I'm afraid not.
Where would he be then, Jeeves?
He's on the Downs.
On orchid patrol.
Are you sure
this is the right place, sir?
Yes. This is Piecrust Down.
That is Piecrust Woods.
And they're in there somewhere.
Watch your feet.
You there! Keep still!
What the...
Don't move, I said!
Just calm down, sir.
Don't step back!
Keep still!
Imbecile!
Idiot!
Why didn't you stand still?
First time it's flowered
in five years.
And you've trampled it to death,
you idiot!
Sorry about that.
Now I know where
'flat-footed copper' comes from.
And you, sir, you could be jailed
for threatening a police officer
with a lethal weapon. Put it down.
It's about as lethal as I am.
And that can be more lethal
than you think.
As I have found a quorum
of the Midsomer Orchid Society
out here on manoeuvres,
I'll take this opportunity to tell
you that another of your members,
Henry Plummer, is dead.
Henry's dead?
Good God!
And somebody destroyed, not one...
for which I do apologise.
Somebody destroyed
his entire orchid collection.
Anybody have an idea
who could have done that and why?
Plummer was a parvenu.
Desperate for a reputation
among real orchid growers.
But he bought his plants,
rather than grow them himself.
I'm sorry the poor man's dead but...
Well, he wasn't exactly
the most popular of our members.
No genuine collector
would destroy a single orchid.
Let alone an entire collection!
Unlike Mr Flatfoot here.
And where were you
on Saturday night, Mr Hilliard?
Having dinner with
the Lord Lieutenant of the county.
In the company of my wife,
if you really want to know.
Thank you for that.
Thank you very much.
Something here, sir.
Our Miss Villiers took three trips
to Borneo in the last 12 months.
And one to Peru.
Borneo and Peru?
Not bad for a retired schoolteacher.
On my pension, I'd be lucky
to get as far as Bournemouth.
Ooh!
Still, we are not without influence
at her travel agent's, are we?
Hello, Dan. What can I do for you?
One-way ticket to Rio?
Why would I go to Rio when
it's all kicking off in Midsomer?
We found this
in Miss Villiers' passport.
We think she had an account here.
Yes, well, she may have.
But all our records are confidential
under the Data Protection Act.
I'll see you later.
Where are you going?
I'm going to get a search warrant.
Dan! I'm sure
we can find a way round it.
Come and sit down.
Just don't tell anyone.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Nice uniform.
Right. Madeline Villiers.
She was a frequent flyer.
Last year, she went to the Far East
three times.
And South America. And Borneo,
earlier this year.
Ooh! Now, that's very interesting.
What is?
This account was also used
by Mr Jimmy Fong.
Got an address for him?
No. But...he was due to fly into
the UK from Bangkok last Saturday.
Satur-
That's the day
of the Midsomer Flower Show
and the day
Madeline Villiers was killed.
Thank you, Cully. Tell you what,
if you print this out for me,
I will buy you lunch.
Sounds nice.
Come in, please.
You are her sole executor, Mr Fong.
Please, sit.
Miss Villiers left you
her entire estate.
On condition that she is cremated
and her ashes scattered
as orchid fertiliser.
I always found that quite odd.
Hm. On the slopes of...
Mount...
Kinabalu.
Where is that, exactly?
Borneo.
Ah. Mm.
What happened to the books
they took out of her safe?
Oh, we'll make sure
the police pay for the damage
and restore them
to their rightful owner...you.
It looks as if all the money
Miss Villiers made from the orchids
was paid into
this Swiss bank account.
Yeah, go on.
We know she sold the um... Pa-
Papheopedilum.
That's the one.
For ã150,000.
Yet only ã25,000 of it
was paid into her account.
Hm. Which means...
that ã125,000 could still be unpaid,
doesn't it?
And if the buyer
were indeed Henry Plummer,
and if the orchid
were destroyed by someone
before it's even fully paid for...
Maybe Henry Plummer was going to
sell on the orchid - at a profit.
Someone clobbered him, then strung
him up to make it look like suicide?
We may be looking for a third party
here, Scott.
Someone who killed Henry Plummer
for his orchid.
Burned the lot to cover his tracks.
Who else knew Plummer
had that orchid?
If I was a gambling man,
I'd put money on that toff Hilliard.
No. If he said that he and his wife
had dinner with the Lord Lieutenant
on the night of the murder,
they probably did.
I'd like another look round
Miss Villiers' cottage.
I suppose we could always um...
Get a warrant,
you were about to say, Scott.
Exactly, sir.
Oh, it's you lot.
What are you doing here?
Me? I'm just finishing a job
she's already paid me for.
A new outside tap.
Mr Rose,
how very honourable of you.
You got a key?
No. The solicitor locked it all up.
What a lovely garden.
Yeah.
A young fella comes in to do it.
A university student into plants.
Come and have a look at this, sir!
Is this anything to do with you,
Harry?
No, it's not my department.
But it's deadly. It's got sulphuric
acid in it. Don't touch it.
Told you.
You're supposed to dilute it.
One part to 100.
It wasn't you who poured this stuff
on Plummer's orchids?
Me? I wouldn't touch that stuff
with a stick.
Get a sample of that, Scott,
for George Bullard to analyse.
Mr Rose,
what do you know about hemlock?
Now, that I do know about.
That's hemlock.
How do you know?
She told me.
It's poisonous.
Something to do with some old Greek
she was keen on.
Name of Socrates.
Got a bust of him indoors.
How do you turn this into a poison?
No idea. It smells like mouse pee
if you crush it.
Madeline... Miss Villiers,
kept a bottle of it in case she got
one of them debilitating diseases.
I've got to get on.
I've got a wiring job in an hour.
Where did you learn all these
decorating and building skills?
In prison?
I'm a lifer. Out on licence.
But I think you know that already.
I thought you had the look
of an old lag about you.
What did you go down for?
Manslaughter.
For which you served,
what, eight years, I believe.
I did a cab driver when I was drunk.
I'm clean now.
I had nothing to do with her death!
I'm not suggesting you did.
I've kept my nose clean.
I don't want to go back inside!
Where do you live?
Causton bail hostel. And if you
want to go on living there, Harry,
I'd like to hear everything you're
NOT telling us about Miss Villiers.
Well, she wasn't the righteous
spinster everyone thought she was.
So I believe.
And, apart from your good self,
who visited her
in the last few days?
Well, I'm not here
all the time, you know.
I did notice a pizza box and some
lager cans in the incinerator.
A present from old Socrates,
Mr Rose?
I'm pretty sure it's a hybrid.
Yes, here we are.
That's the one.
Oh. Er... Yes. Ahem.
Er...
Ahem. That's a nice flower.
My phalaenopsis.
They ooze glamour, don't you think?
They add a sort of...I don't know,
sexiness to a room.
Ahem.
Yes, I'm right. It's the hybrid.
Also known as the Bardot rose.
Ah. Rose.
It's not actually a rose.
No, no.
Madeline Villiers
employed a handyman called Rose.
Do you know that man, Professor?
Harry Rose? Indeed I do.
Harry's an absolute godsend.
To a good number of people
in the neighbourhood.
Come up with
some interesting info, sir.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Miss Villiers' account
in Switzerland
was shared with a bloke
called Jimmy Fong,
who's been making withdrawals.
Jimmy Fong?! Who he?
I don't know. He also shares
a travel agent's account with her.
And he flew in three days ago
from Bangkok.
Bangkok?
Her smuggling partner, perhaps.
Chinese, maybe? Trips to
the Far East? Could well be.
Maybe there was a falling out
among thieves. Where is he now?
I don't know.
But he'll soon be short of dosh.
I've frozen
their joint Swiss bank account.
How did you manage that?
Once upon a time, sir, there was a
Swiss copper from the Fiscal Police.
Nice fella. Family man.
He got into a bit of bother
with a prostitute.
I got him out of it.
You never cease to amaze me, Scott.
Amaze me some more
by tracking down this Jimmy Fong.
How's Brother Robert getting on
with his diary translation?
Sir, up at the abbey, they still
tell the time with a sundial.
We should have asked
Professor Winstanley.
Yes, we should. She knows much more
than she is telling us.
So, no doubt you'll be going to see
her again for another word?
Yes, indeed I will.
Are you sure you'll be safe, sir?
So, what is it about these plants
that turns collectors
into criminals?
Addiction. Obsession.
Mania.
Call it what you will.
Personally,
I'm attracted both to the peculiar,
and to the erotic.
Take this papheopedilum sanderianum
here.
Just look at its luscious folds,
that perfectly round
glistening pouch.
Did you know that orchid
is a Greek word meaning testicle?
Is that a fact?
You see what I mean?
Ahem. What does Mr Winstanley think
about your passion for orchids?
He walked out on me years ago.
Does the name Jimmy Fong
mean anything to you?
Fong?
He's a notorious orchid smuggler.
The convention on international
trade in endangered species
has been after him for years.
Did you know he was involved
with Miss Villiers?
I'm intrigued.
But I had absolutely no idea.
With all due respect, Margaret,
I think
you are holding something back.
I never hold anything back.
Venous engorgement.
Enlargement of the vein
above the point of injury.
And...cyanosis.
The blue discoloration
of the fingertips.
So he was strangled first, then hung
up to make it look like suicide.
What about the weedkiller?
In common use 20 years ago,
I'm afraid. Banned now, of course.
I'm still awaiting test results.
Oh. That old bottle
did contain hemlock.
PHONE RINGS
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Hold on, Charlie.
Thank you, George.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, go on, Charlie.
What, nothing at all?
All right. Thank you.
There is no-one by the name of Fong
at any of the B&Bs or hotels
within 50 miles of here, sir.
Perhaps he's gone back to Bangkok.
Maybe he has.
If he had come all that way
to kill Miss Villiers.
But what if he'd come over
to marry her?
How do you think he'd react
if he arrived early
and caught her in flagrante
with...Henry Plummer, perhaps?
It would certainly
cure his jet-lag, sir.
Ha ha!
Perhaps the floozy actress
was actually Miss Villiers.
And our Henry Plummer was repaying
some of his debt in kind, eh?
And if he was ã125,000 shy
in the kitty,
I think the Chinaman
might want his orchid back as well.
I'd like to hear the merry widow
sing some more.
Looks like the handyman's
got his hammer out already, sir.
Good afternoon, Mrs Plummer.
Please come in.
Have you come to tell me
that you're releasing Henry's body
so that I can arrange the funeral?
No.
It's not going to be
as easy as that.
It appears your husband's death
was not a suicide.
Wasn't suicide?
What are you talking about?
# Leave the rest to me
♪ Give me the moonlight
Give me the girl
♪ And leave the rest
♪ To me
♪ Give me... ♪
Mr Rose.
Inspector.
Supporting Mrs Plummer
in her darkest hours, I see.
Harry's helping me
with Henry's belongings.
The good stuff goes to Oxfam.
The rest in the incinerator.
Strangled? Oh, my God!
Who on earth would strangle Henry?
That's what we're trying
to find out, Mrs Plummer.
On the night
of your husband's death,
you drove to London, didn't you?
I did. I left
around about a quarter to eight.
I went to a club. I stayed
with some friends in Chiswick.
Those friends,
they'd vouch for that, would they?
You're not suggesting it was me,
are you?
Well, you yourself suggested
that you lived separate lives.
So what? Sleeping
in separate beds was a luxury.
How was your husband's relationship
with Miss Villiers?
What relationship?
Did he ever...visit her?
Are you suggesting...
Why would he visit
a dried-up old spinster like her?
What about Harry Rose?
Will he be moving in
when all this is over?
What sort of person
do you think I am?
My husband's been murdered, dammit!
Harry may be very good
at practical things,
but that's as far as it goes!
PHONE RINGS
Hello.
Just a moment, Spencer.
As it happens, this is my solicitor,
who's sorting out the probate.
If you want to talk to me further,
I'd like him to be present.
You can wait until he gets here,
or you can see yourselves out!
Mr Rose.
I'm in a rush. I've got to get this
to the Oxfam shop in Causton.
Not only musical, but virtuous too.
Mr Rose, why don't you
call into Causton police station
when you've done all this
for a little chat.
Just to tie up a few loose ends.
Around about four o'clock?
Whatever you say.
What have we here?
Excuse me, sir!
We're Causton CID. Are you Mr Fong?
Mr Jimmy Fong?
Me? No.
I'm Weng Tu Ho
from Happy House Chinese restaurant.
In Causton. Er...
Do you want to order something?
What's in the box?
Crispy duck with pancake
and barbecue sauce. Very tasty.
You... You welcome any time.
That's a big car for an errand boy.
Isn't it just?
Check out
this Happy House restaurant.
So, if you are the real Weng Tu Ho,
sir,
can you tell me who the man
with the black BMW is, please?
I don't know.
He don't give me no name.
Maybe Jimmy Fong, maybe not.
Yeah, maybe.
But why is this fella,
whose name you don't know,
why is he delivering food for you?
He was eating Pearl River
special lunch
when takeaway motorbike
got flat tyre.
A big mess. So this man say
he has got car. He go himself.
Just like that?
Just like that.
We Chinese always help each other.
That's very noble.
Can you tell me where he is now?
I don't know. He bring
takeaway money back then go.
Maybe he come back.
Maybe not.
Now, Mr Rose,
the weedkiller
found in Miss Villiers' shed
matches that
used to kill Mr Plummer's orchids.
That's got nothing to do with me.
Maybe Deborah asked you to do it.
Oh, no, she didn't.
Your favours are just sexual?
Well... Yeah.
We do it from time to time.
She gets off on being laid
by an ex-con, would you believe?
Did Deborah ask you
to kill her husband?
No! It's got nothing to do with me,
I swear!
What about Miss Villiers?
Did you have a...relationship
with her too?
Look, after eight years
of being inside,
I had a lot of catching up to do.
Her lover lives abroad
and she needed the practice.
Like she said, use it or lose it.
What about Miss Villiers' orchid
smuggling? What do you know of it?
Well, I found her the cabinet.
So she could put her plants in it
when she came back from abroad.
What about the orchid
she sold to Mr Plummer for ã150,000?
150 grand? For a plant?
You're having me on!
Scott, Mr Rose seems to be suffering
from some kind of amnesia.
Yeah. I tell you what,
there are some very good
psychiatrists working in prison.
I'll let the licence board know
about our murder investigation.
I don't want to go back inside.
All right. I admit...
..I knew about the yellow roth.
Madeline... Miss Villiers was livid
because Henry Plummer
only coughed up 25 grand.
She said if I went to his house
and got it back, she'd give me ã50.
And did you?
We're wasting our time here, sir.
Put him back inside.
Keep your shirt on!
I did go round to Plummer's house.
About ten o'clock.
And there was no-one there.
But I was already too late.
Everything was ruined.
Including the yellow roth?
From what I saw,
that was shrivelled up as well.
150 grand's-worth of plant, zapped.
Just like that.
Then what did you do?
I legged it, didn't I?
I phoned Miss Villiers,
but when she didn't answer,
I went home to the hostel.
Next morning, I found her dead.
Never did get the 50 quid!
OK, Harry.
I don't think for a minute
that you've told me the whole truth.
But I don't think any useful purpose
will be served by locking you up.
You're free to go.
Thank you very much, sir.
That took some force!
It certainly did.
Who found him?
The butler. Feather.
Constable Charles
has already taken a statement.
But Tom...
Take a look at this.
Something missing.
Something taken.
We thought
he'd fallen asleep in there.
He does sometimes.
It's so warm and cosy.
And he's got
his father's old deckchair.
But when he didn't come in for tea,
Feather went to see where he was.
Yes, ma'am. I found him...
Mrs Hilliard, had your husband
recently acquired a new orchid?
I don't suppose it matters
now that he...
Yes, yes.
He was terribly excited about it.
This one was so frightfully rare.
Even unique, he said.
Was that orchid the papheopedilum
Rothschildianum flavum?
The yellow roth?
Yes. How did you know?
And for which he must have paid
a great deal of money.
Munro can afford to indulge,
Mr Barnaby.
Like his father
and his grandfather before him,
he was addicted to orchids
as others are addicted to drugs.
They were his passion.
What of this deadly orchid?
This orchis fatalis?
The price proved too high.
Even for Munro.
Mrs Hilliard, have you any idea
where the orchid came from?
I never asked.
Would your husband have bought
the orchid if he'd known
it was illegally imported
into the country?
He was a conservationist!
Could your husband have bought
the orchid from Henry Plummer?
It's very unlikely.
Munro and Plummer...
despised each other.
He considered him an arriviste!
He'll...never come plodding back
from the conservatory, will he?
I think, in the circumstances...
Er... Yes. I'm sorry.
Thank you, Mrs Hilliard.
She describes in great detail
the sexual acts between her
and her many partners.
Ferus Asiae tigris
quantum differit ab juvene.
Wild Asian tiger is growing tame.
How different from the young man.
Jimmy Fong.
And this is her last entry.
It's most curious.
Et cras dies nuptiarum mea.
And tomorrow is my wedding day but
I shall not marry the peacemaker.
And I think we'll find the
peacemaker is Jonathan Makepeace.
Afternoon, Mr Makepeace.
I wonder if you've got a minute.
Could you help us, please?
Of course.
The late Miss Villiers...
..she kept a diary.
Really?
Yes. And in it,
you feature rather prominently.
It's not surprising.
I spent hours with her.
Discussing her garden and -
But it wasn't just her flower patch
you were planting seeds in, was it?
I don't know what you mean.
She claims that you were her lover.
Lover? That's ridiculous!
That's some senile old woman
fantasising.
Well...
I did go round there
a couple of times, yes. But...
But I had nothing at all
to do with her death.
Were you intending to marry her?
Marry her?
As in make her your wife
till death do you part.
Well... Yes.
But I couldn't go through with it.
The night she died, I told her
I'd changed my mind. She was livid.
But when I left,
she was very much alive!
Sorry. I'm just trying
to get my head round this.
Why would a handsome young student
like yourself, Jonathan,
want to marry someone
old enough to be their grandmother?
It is a little involved.
Let me guess, Mr Makepeace.
Am I right in saying that
it was an attempt to find out about
her orchid smuggling operation
and that you were prepared to go...
to almost any lengths
to discover who was involved?
Well...
You know um...
Pillow talk might have provided
a valuable lead.
We wanted to get
to the bottom of it.
But we didn't mention it to anyone.
We didn't dare.
We didn't dare. We. You said we.
Who's the we?
Whose idea was it to seduce
Miss Villiers in the first place?
Professor Winstanley's, of course.
Yes, I did put him up to it.
Madeline's sexual appetite
was well known in the village.
You mean,
Harry Rose told you about it.
And did Harry Rose also tell you
that she smuggled rare orchids?
Oh, good lord, no.
Harry's the soul of discretion.
We had a pretty good idea.
Hence the Casanova role
for Jonathan.
Which she was perfectly happy with.
Jonathan Makepeace said
she wasn't very happy
when he went round to call off the
wedding on the evening of her death.
Do you think Jonathan
had anything to do with her death?
No, of course not!
He's a botanist, not a murderer!
Hm.
I don't recall suggesting
it was a murder.
Well, isn't...
Isn't that what you're implying?
I'd be very interested to know
how you think Henry Plummer died.
He committed suicide, didn't he?
No, Professor.
They were both murdered.
Oh, my God!
And the catalyst
for both the deaths,
it appears, was a smuggled orchid.
Which, now I'm pretty certain, was
eventually bought by Munro Hilliard.
And as a result,
he too was murdered.
Munro Hilliard?
I should have brought my suspicions
about Madeline's smuggling
activities to you, shouldn't I?
The prospect of cracking
an international smuggling ring,
of watching the culprits
being brought to justice,
being hailed as the saviour
of orchid habitats
in remote corners of the world,
clouded my judgement.
Is that so terrible, Mr Barnaby?
The consequences were so terrible.
A bit of common sense would have
told you what could happen.
But there was never a chair
in common sense at the university.
I was going through Munro's papers
and found this.
It appears that Madam's late husband
arranged to pay ã175,000
from one of his offshore accounts
to Mrs Plummer.
Was the payment made?
No, sir.
There being no sign of the orchid,
Madam had the account frozen.
PHONE BEEPS
Oh, I'm sorry.
I know this is a very,
very trying time for you,
but do you recall your husband
mentioning the name Fong?
Mr Jimmy Fong.
I've never heard the name before.
No?
This has been very useful.
Thank you.
And as it happens,
our Mr Fong is waiting for us
at Causton police station.
As sole beneficiary
of the late Miss Villiers' will,
my client would like returned to him
certain items removed illegally
from her safe.
Legally removed, Mr Jocelyn,
in order to further our enquiries
into her death.
If you don't mind, I'd like to ask
your client a direct question.
Mr Fong, last time we met you,
you were delivering a Chinese meal
and calling yourself Weng Tu Ho.
Just trying to do a fellow Chinaman
a favour.
I always eat at the Happy House
when I come to England.
And the business
which brought you here
was your very lucrative
orchid smuggling, I presume.
My client will certainly not
answer that question!
He's here of his own volition
to reclaim
his unlawfully seized property.
Not to be questioned about
alleged criminal activities
for which you have
absolutely no evidence!
It's OK, Mr Jocelyn.
I've devoted all my life to saving
threatened orchids from extinction.
That's a new slant.
My client will make no further
comment on this line of questioning.
Perhaps your client
will be kind enough to tell us
what he is doing in Midsomer.
I came here...
to marry Madeline Villiers
and to take her away on honeymoon
to Switzerland.
But she was having it off
with somebody else,
so you killed her, didn't you?
Kill her? For that?
She was sleeping with
half the village, wasn't she?
Are insults to the dead
all you've got left in your arsenal?
I'm no saint, believe you me.
But I loved her.
And she loved me.
I would never kill her!
Mr Fong, did you kill Henry Plummer?
And Munro Hilliard?
In order to recover the orchid
for which your...intended
had already died?
Mrs Plummer, may I put this to you?
That you stole the yellow roth
from your husband's collection
because Munro Hilliard had secretly
agreed to buy it from you -
It was my orchid, dammit!
Henry had paid for it with my money!
But yes, you're right.
Hilliard had agreed to buy it.
So you go round to collect the cash,
but either he refused to pay it
to you or he hadn't got it.
You attacked him with a fork
and took it back.
Attacked him with a fork?!
I've never heard such a load
of rubbish in all my life!
But you did sell him the orchid.
Well, that I will admit to.
You see, I didn't go to London
immediately after the flower show.
The thought of 150 grand's-worth
of plant
just sitting there
was too much for me.
He'd already gone into town,
so I took the orchid.
Then I thought, "What the hell?
Why don't I put a stop to this
orchid lunacy once and for all?"
There's no law against it.
I checked.
But there is -
against selling smuggled orchids.
You have to prove
it was smuggled first.
How was your crispy duck, by the
way? Delivered by the famous
orchid smuggler himself,
Mr Jimmy Fong.
Not enough barbecue sauce.
There never is.
But he wasn't just bringing you
a Chinese takeaway, was he?
He was bringing you some bad news.
So, where's the rest of the money
your husband owed to Miss Villiers?
I don't have it.
Mm-hm.
Then you'd better find it
pretty quick.
Because when I come back,
I want either cash or orchid!
You understand?
Who delivered the orchid
to Mr Hilliard?
I did.
I mean, we did.
Run me over to the manor house.
I don't want anyone
to recognise my car up there.
I thought he was going to have
a heart attack.
I don't want to sound vulgar, Munro,
but what about the money?
The money didn't come through.
So, I got Rose to run me up there
again yesterday.
But he wasn't there.
No sign of him.
Munro?
I'll give him a ring again.
I'm still waiting for my money.
You'll be waiting a very long time.
Munro Hilliard was murdered.
Round about the same time as Rose
drove you up there yesterday.
Murdered?
The orchid's gone. Mrs Hilliard's
frozen her husband's bank accounts.
Oh, my God! I'm ruined!
Where's my orchid?
Where's my money?
Oh, my God! I'm broke!
You know where that orchid is.
You probably killed Mr Hilliard
to get it back.
No! You've got it all wrong!
He was already dead
when I found him!
Let her go.
No end to your talent, is there?
So,
you were the obliging chauffeur,
were you?
I didn't have a choice, did I?
That's all I did. Dropped her off
a couple of times and waited.
Yeah, I bet.
It's the truth.
Or did you go back to
the manor house, skewer Mr Hilliard,
and then nick the plant
for yourself?
We are trying very hard
to think of a reason
not to arrest you
for the murder of Munro.
Help us out, Harry.
There was one thing.
Now I come to think of it.
While I was waiting there,
I noticed something weird.
Right, Harry. Let's go.
Now!
I saw this old butcher's bike
propped up against the wall.
I remember
thinking to myself at the time,
"All the butchers round here
drive vans."
What meat would anybody deliver
on that thing?
A butcher's bicycle?
Are you sure about that?
It is very pretty, that.
Mr Barnaby.
I still find it hard to believe it's
worth a quarter of a million quid.
That is, I take it,
Papheopedilum Rothschildianum
flavum?
The yellow roth.
If only!
You got the genus right,
but this is the sanderianum.
It's exquisite, isn't it?
We just take your word for that,
do we?
The point is no longer
about plant appreciation.
We are here to ask you
about the murder of Munro Hilliard.
What can I possibly tell you
about that?
Where were you yesterday afternoon?
I was right here. Why do you ask?
Because your bicycle was seen
outside Hilliard's house
yesterday afternoon.
Well, I... I lent it to Jonathan.
Makepeace?
Is he here now?
You'll find him in the palm house.
DIGGING
What a perfect place
to hide the orchid
that has already cost three lives.
What do you want?
Want?! I want to talk to you
about three murders.
Stay away or I'll use it,
I promise you!
No more penalty points.
It's bad enough as it is.
What do you think you're doing?
For God's sake, put that down!
I would do as the professor asks.
That is the stolen orchid, isn't it?
The yellow roth?
Yes, it is.
Munro Hilliard was willing to pay
ã175,000 for that, Jonathan.
You've got someone else in mind
who's paying a good deal more.
A quarter of a million, maybe?
It's the only one in the world!
THUD AND SPLASH
We have a witness who will testify
that Professor Winstanley's bike,
which she lent to you,
was seen outside Hilliard's house
at the relevant time.
And your prints
were on the fork.
The moment you laid eyes upon it,
you recognised it.
The yellow roth.
You and I could breed from it,
Mr Hilliard.
We could make millions.
You think I do this for the money?
You greedy little tyke!
I'm not breeding anything
from this beauty.
All my life
I've waited for a moment like this.
Not even my father,
nor my grandfather before him,
ever saw such a perfect bloom.
Then let's say you give me ã200,000
or I inform the police.
Blackmail?
How dare you?
Get out of here, you bloody upstart!
You're not fit to be in the same
room as this beautiful plant.
We'll see about that.
I threatened to report him
and he attacked me. Self-defence.
That's what I'll say in court
and no-one can prove otherwise.
Madeline Villiers had no intention
of marrying you, had she?
It was she who jilted you.
It was the other way round.
It was the last entry in her diary.
Then, in a fit of rage
at seeing your smuggling ambitions
go up in smoke, you killed her.
Are you mad?
Are you suffering from dementia
or something?
No, Jonathan, I'm not.
You don't know my future husband.
Although you've lain in my bed
to try and coax his name out of me.
But he and I
are made for each other.
We're meant to spend
our last years together.
It's our destiny.
So, you just used me, didn't you?
You debauched old bat!
I was only your toy boy after all,
wasn't I?
Don't play the innocent with me,
Jonathan.
I'd hate to think that was
all there was to our affair.
Tell me,
or you'll drink every last drop.
Don't be stupid, Jonathan.
Tell me!
Jonathan, please!
Tell me.
Please, Jonathan! I beg you!
Tell me.
Henry Plummer.
You must have held on to her
until the hemlock started to work.
And then went round to steal
the orchid from Henry Plummer.
But something unexpected happened,
didn't it, Jonathan?
You did this!
Hilliard sent you, didn't he?
You destroyed everything!
You toe-rag!
And all for a single orchid.
Not just any old orchid.
The rarest orchid
in the whole world!
Margaret.
I'm sorry.
He was such a promising student.
Such a terrible waste.
Sgt Scott will need to take
a statement from you. Is that OK?
Whenever.
I'm sorry.
(SNEEZES)
You're not sleeping here, are you?
Of course.
Looking after this
is like looking after a baby.
Only I don't have to
change its nappies!
Join me on my night watch,
if you like.
Brother Robert!
Your eulogy for Miss Villiers
was lovely, very fitting.
Very good of you to say so.
I had the advantage
of knowing the lady more...
intimately
than most of the congregation.
Thank you for it.
Goodbye.
Mr Barnaby.
I just... I wanted to thank you
for giving me a second chance.
Oh, Harry! Best of luck with it.
Stay out of trouble.
I will.
Gamekeeper turning poacher, sir.
And heading for a long
and restful retirement, I trust.
We're going to Mount Kinabalu
to carry out Madeline's last wish.
And what was that?
She wanted her ashes scattered
as fertiliser on the jungle slopes.
She'll help grow unique orchid,
which we'll name after her.
Enjoy your trip.
You know, I think I'll let someone
else organise the flower show
next year.
Oh, yes.
So, what about that lunch
you promised me?
I'm going to surprise you all here.
Lunch is on me.
Chinese, anyone?
ITFC Subtitles
SALLY GRAY
BIRDS SCREECH
There they are!
I made those marks last year!
Just look at it!
I knew I was right.
It's a yellow roth.
And are you sure it's the only one
of its kind in the world?
Of course.
It's got to be worth
at least ã100,000.
I know someone who will pay
a lot more than that.
Please don't get caught.
I'll phone the moment I get home.
This is our crowning achievement,
Madeline.
It will flower again
in 12 months' time.
Now is the time to call it a day.
You've been saying that for ages.
But this time I mean it.
We'd miss it, Jimmy. It's exciting.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Madam, taxi here.
Thank you.
♪ NEW ORLEANS JAZZ
Try your luck, ladies and gentlemen!
Only ã1 a ticket!
Or six for a fiver!
No, I'm sorry, ladies.
If you haven't got a zero,
you haven't got a prize.
Roll up! Roll up! Try your luck!
Only ã1 a ticket!
Or six for a fiver!
Captain! Want to try your luck?
Put me down for a fiver.
Good man.
I'll try and get
your winning tickets from the top.
If you've got a nought,
you're a winner.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
There you go.
Thank you.
Thank you!
60! I've won, Barnaby! I've won!
So you have, Captain.
Let us see what you have won.
There we are.
Oh, no!
Not the bloody tea cosy!
I won that thing last year!
Look, this time, be a good chap. Pop
it in with the compost, would you?
Roll up! Roll up! Try your luck!
Wonderful, wonderful prizes,
ladies and gentlemen! ã1 a ticket!
Stand by your beds! Here they come!
Hello. Good afternoon.
Let me introduce my research
assistant, Jonathan Makepeace.
We congratulate
the Midsomer Malham Orchid Society
for a magnificent display.
I thank Munro Hilliard
for hosting this wonderful show in
his perfectly elegant Malham Manor.
Before we hand out prizes, Jonathan
has some very exciting news.
Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me
great pleasure to announce
a single monkey orchid is growing
again in a wood on the Downs.
MURMURING
We need volunteers
to mount a 24-hour vigil
to protect it from poachers
while it's in bloom.
Your chairman, Mr Hilliard,
has offered to work a rota.
I'll volunteer, Mr Hilliard.
Good show, Mrs Maitland!
If any more of you
would give me your names,
before the end of the day,
I'd be most grateful.
And now it's over to you,
Professor Winstanley.
Well, goodness,
the judging wasn't easy this year.
But the winner of best plant in show
goes to...
Captain Tucker!
GASPS
For his miniature cymbidium.
Congratulations. Very well earned.
Thank you, Professor.
Second prize goes to Mr Hilliard
for his phalaenopsis Follett.
Well done, Munro.
And third prize goes to
Mr Plummer's dendrobium nobile.
It was a close-run thing,
Mr Plummer.
Well, we live to show another day,
don't we?
We do indeed.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, I think
I speak for all of us when I thank
Professor Winstanley for giving
so generously of her precious time.
It's been a pleasure.
See you next year!
♪ NEW ORLEANS JAZZ
Winning a poxy third!
You mean you were beaten again
by Munro Hilliard?
Pompous old twit!
Just because he owns the place,
he thinks it's his right to win.
He only came second. He was gutted.
You know what I think
about your bloody orchids!
Just fancy, over-priced weeds!
If you buy any more,
you're going to ruin us.
Can't you grow
something we can eat?!
How's it going?
There's a bottle of Rioja left!
Congratulations on yet another
botanical extravaganza, Mrs Barnaby.
Thank you, Miss Villiers.
Can I tempt you to the tombola?
ã1 a ticket or six for a fiver.
Yes, of course.
250. That's a prize, isn't it?
It certainly is.
Thank you.
Baedeker's Guide To Switzerland!
Wonderfully serendipitous!
Thank you, Mr Barnaby.
I've got something at home
that you would literally kill for.
Is that a fact?
You'd remortgage your manor house
just to get your hands on it.
The Hilliards don't have mortgages,
Henry.
Excuse me.
I've done my horticultural duty
for today.
I'm off to London
for some excitement.
You'll ruin us.
How much did that one cost?
It's priceless.
Well, don't expect me back
for breakfast!
HORN
Madeline!
Good morning, Socrates.
Madeline! It's me! Harry!
SIREN
Did you touch anything, Harry?
No, of course not.
I only come here to change a heater.
Aren't you going to cover her up
or something?
Morning, sir.
Morning, Scott.
This is Harry Rose.
The local handyman.
Builder, decorator,
plumber and electrician.
That too.
He does jobs for Miss Villiers.
He found her.
Do you mind waiting outside, please?
No, of course not.
So, we've got an old woman's list.
(READS) Suitcase,
passport, Swiss money, cancel papers
and milk, hide safe key.
Could it have been a coronary?
Well...
Harry Rose called the local plod
and he called me
because he couldn't work out
what these stains were.
But he thinks
she might have topped herself.
She won this book
on my tombola stand.
So we've got something old.
Something very new.
Hm!
A borrowed library book.
And something blue.
You think she was going to
Switzerland to be married?
Married?
Yeah.
And if it all fell through...
She was jilted?
It's a reason
for her to kill herself.
Oh, come and look at this, sir.
'Hide safe key.'
Do you think we should open it, sir?
Er... Yes, we should.
Did you find the key?
No, sir.
Rose doesn't know where she kept it.
But with one of these old things,
you don't need one.
Really?
Where did you learn to do that?
School of hard locks, sir.
Oh, joy.
A diary. Hah!
(READS) Ante diem sextum nonas
maxima vulva...
My Latin's a bit rusty, Scott.
But I think this is saying
something rather rude.
Ancient history?
No, no.
It's this year's diary.
This year's. This month's.
This week.
She is a goer, isn't she?
She was. Do you want to see?
Latin wasn't on the syllabus
at my local comprehensive.
Safe-breaking no doubt was.
Oh!
An account book by the looks of it.
And one not intended
for inspection by the tax man.
Not with all the sums
written out in Roman numerals.
Need to get this stuff translated.
George! Seen the body?
Yes. I presume this is part
of the crime scene as well.
No. Not exactly.
Sgt Scott has got a unique
but highly effective way
of opening a locked safe.
How long has she been dead?
Certainly since last night.
So, what makes you think
it's anything but natural causes?
Well, we've got these stains here.
Take a statement from Rose.
See if we can trace her next of kin.
George,
how's your Latin?
Purely medical, I'm afraid.
Want a translator?
Brother Robert, up at
Midsomer Abbey. He's your best man.
The bonus is, his bees produce
the best honey I've ever tasted.
BUZZING
Harry Rose reckons
she's got no next of kin,
because she told him once
she was adopted.
She was a Classics teacher at
Midsomer Ladies' College. Retired.
What about Rose?
Works for everybody in the village.
Services everybody in the village?
Yeah, that too, sir.
Brother Robert?
Brother Robert, good morning, sir.
Morning.
I'm Detective Chief Inspector
Barnaby.
This is Detective Sergeant Scott.
We've come about the translation.
Oh, yes. The translation. Hm!
They won't sting you, young man,
if you keep still.
Achoo!
Bless you.
(READS) Cymbidium, odontioda,
phalaenopsis, papheopedilum.
These are all orchids.
An odontioda orchid
was sold for ã500
to a CM
on the 6th of September last year.
ã500 for a flower? Must be barking.
You need an expert for this.
Any suggestions?
Do you know Professor Winstanley?
My wife does. She judged
the flower show t'other day.
Um... Now, Brother Robert,
I'm afraid this diary
contains...
well, lurid details
of rather...robust sexual activity.
Really?
Mm.
(READS) Dies Saturni
ut canes in via
delicias fecimus.
Vinum bibimus
et interim...
fecit.
I see what you mean.
Saturday, we satisfied ourselves
like street dogs.
We drank wine
and did it again and again.
Ahem.
Last night, I shudder to recall,
he was impotent.
Tomorrow, therefore, I shall
arouse him, not only with
my endearments,
but with a potion.
Perhaps it's a little unfair,
given your calling,
Brother Robert, to ask you
to translate this stuff.
Not at all!
BELL
Time for vespers.
I'll let you know
what progress I'm making.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
I'm terribly sorry, Inspector.
Had a crisis with our strelizias.
These are beautiful, aren't they?
This collection was started
by Sir Wilfred Hilliard,
traveller and plant collector.
Grandfather of the president
of the Midsomer Orchid Society.
Your wife must know him.
I'm sure.
Jonathan, come and meet...
But you've met already, haven't you?
At the Malham Flower Show.
Yes.
Good morning.
Now, I take it you both knew
Miss Madeline Villiers.
Knew?
Yes, knew.
I'm sorry to be the bearer
of bad tidings.
Miss Villiers was found dead
yesterday morning.
Dead? That's terrible.
But she was at the flower show.
Yes, she was.
She gave you
three of my tombola tickets.
And it seemed to me...
you knew her quite well.
Well... Yes, we both did.
Madeline admired Jonathan's devotion
to our orchids.
Just that?
Well... I also advised her
on her magnificent garden.
I can't believe she's dead.
Me neither. It's... It's awful!
Sorry. It's hay fever.
Let's go into the office.
This is very kind of you. Thank you.
I'm intrigued.
Goodness me! It appears that
Madeline was selling
some of the world's rarest orchids.
For considerable amounts of money.
Look at this one, for example.
(READS) The phragmipedium kovachii.
That's from Peru.
It's an incredibly rare plant.
(READS) Sold on the 10th of July
to JK for...
Liv... VXCIX.
That's ã5,999.
(READS)
Neofinetia falcata, variegated.
To CP for...
For ã50,000.
No!
50 grand for a flower?!
Rich old Japanese men collect them.
They're little white flowers
with amazing leaves. Beautiful.
Yeah, but... 50 grand?!
Here it is.
Good God! Jonathan, look at this!
Papheopedilum Rothschildianum
flavum.
The flavum doesn't exist any more.
Yes, it does, according to this.
Papheopedilum. What's that?
It's a slipper orchid.
From paphos, meaning slipper.
It refers to the shape
of the bottom petal.
A yellow roth.
I don't believe it.
Sold to HP
for ã150,000.
Who's HP?
At that price,
it's probably Harry Potter.
Or Henry Plummer.
Henry?
Henry?
Henry?
How long has he been dead, George?
More than 36 hours.
Looks like he'd been out to dinner.
Perhaps the bill
didn't agree with him.
Mrs Plummer?
I know this isn't easy.
Can you tell me, when did you
last see your husband alive?
Around 7:30 on Saturday night.
He was going into town
to see this play...
Well, some floozy actress, actually.
And where did you go, Mrs Plummer?
Me?
I went up to London.
I got back yesterday,
after midnight.
Um... Got up late and...
When I saw that his bed hadn't been
slept in, I went looking for him.
Have you any idea why...
Yes.
I'll show you.
When I left, this place was full
of the most beautiful flowers.
Only a madman
would do a thing like this.
Looks like it's been sprayed
with something, sir. Weedkiller?
You think this is why
your husband committed suicide?
I don't know.
But orchids were his passion.
He certainly loved them
more than he loved me.
Can you think of anyone
who would want to destroy
your husband's orchid collection?
I was never part of that world.
I couldn't help noticing at the
flower show, it's very competitive.
Orchid growers are jealous
to the point of lunacy.
But no-one would destroy
the plants they idolise.
Henry's orchids didn't come cheap.
They certainly did not.
I have reason to believe
that your husband paid ã150,000
for a very rare orchid.
Did you know anything about that?
ã150,000? Where did he get
that kind of money from?
I don't know.
I understood he was retired.
Still, there must be considerable
equity in this house. Maybe he...
This was my parents' house.
The last thing I wanted
was to come back and live here.
Henry may have been ready
for retirement.
But I'm not.
Could he have raised a loan
against it?
He may have been reckless,
but not that reckless.
Mrs Plummer.
Are you sure you don't know about
this very rare orchid?
No, I don't.
But if it ever existed,
it's probably perished
along with the rest of them.
Will you excuse me?
What's wrong, Harry?
I didn't think it was right
to tell you on the phone.
I can't make this any easier,
Mr Fong.
She's dead.
Dead?
How can she be dead?
I spoke to her only last week!
I found her
sitting in this chair that morning.
Dressed in her Greek costume.
She looked very peaceful.
Where is she now?
The police took her.
She had her bag packed,
ready to leave with you.
They took that too.
(PRAYS)
Who did this?!
The police.
They took the books with them
as well.
Where's the orchid?
She sold it. Like you told her to.
She was a remarkable woman, Harry.
And I know
you took good care of her.
Thank you.
She was poisoned by hemlock.
Hemlock?
Conium maculatum.
Great favourite of the Greeks.
In fact, an infusion of hemlock was
used to kill Socrates in 399 BC.
Bit before my time, Mr Bullard.
So, she'd booked a flight
to Switzerland. Suitcase was packed.
She was about to be married.
Looking forward to the honeymoon.
Pardon?
I was thinking of the knickers, sir.
Mm. Of course you were.
But I agree, it's a scenario
that can't include suicide, can it?
But a million quid's worth
of smuggled orchids...
Now that could be a very good reason
why someone would kill her.
I tell you what I'd really
like to know, George,
is if our Mr Plummer here
really did hang himself.
I think it's time we paid a visit
to the chairman
of the Midsomer Orchid Society.
We may have an orchid war
on our hands.
Thank you, George.
What knickers?
Yes?
I'm Detective Chief Inspector
Barnaby. This is DS Scott.
What have you come to inspect?
Is Mr Hilliard at home, please?
I'm afraid not.
Where would he be then, Jeeves?
He's on the Downs.
On orchid patrol.
Are you sure
this is the right place, sir?
Yes. This is Piecrust Down.
That is Piecrust Woods.
And they're in there somewhere.
Watch your feet.
You there! Keep still!
What the...
Don't move, I said!
Just calm down, sir.
Don't step back!
Keep still!
Imbecile!
Idiot!
Why didn't you stand still?
First time it's flowered
in five years.
And you've trampled it to death,
you idiot!
Sorry about that.
Now I know where
'flat-footed copper' comes from.
And you, sir, you could be jailed
for threatening a police officer
with a lethal weapon. Put it down.
It's about as lethal as I am.
And that can be more lethal
than you think.
As I have found a quorum
of the Midsomer Orchid Society
out here on manoeuvres,
I'll take this opportunity to tell
you that another of your members,
Henry Plummer, is dead.
Henry's dead?
Good God!
And somebody destroyed, not one...
for which I do apologise.
Somebody destroyed
his entire orchid collection.
Anybody have an idea
who could have done that and why?
Plummer was a parvenu.
Desperate for a reputation
among real orchid growers.
But he bought his plants,
rather than grow them himself.
I'm sorry the poor man's dead but...
Well, he wasn't exactly
the most popular of our members.
No genuine collector
would destroy a single orchid.
Let alone an entire collection!
Unlike Mr Flatfoot here.
And where were you
on Saturday night, Mr Hilliard?
Having dinner with
the Lord Lieutenant of the county.
In the company of my wife,
if you really want to know.
Thank you for that.
Thank you very much.
Something here, sir.
Our Miss Villiers took three trips
to Borneo in the last 12 months.
And one to Peru.
Borneo and Peru?
Not bad for a retired schoolteacher.
On my pension, I'd be lucky
to get as far as Bournemouth.
Ooh!
Still, we are not without influence
at her travel agent's, are we?
Hello, Dan. What can I do for you?
One-way ticket to Rio?
Why would I go to Rio when
it's all kicking off in Midsomer?
We found this
in Miss Villiers' passport.
We think she had an account here.
Yes, well, she may have.
But all our records are confidential
under the Data Protection Act.
I'll see you later.
Where are you going?
I'm going to get a search warrant.
Dan! I'm sure
we can find a way round it.
Come and sit down.
Just don't tell anyone.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Nice uniform.
Right. Madeline Villiers.
She was a frequent flyer.
Last year, she went to the Far East
three times.
And South America. And Borneo,
earlier this year.
Ooh! Now, that's very interesting.
What is?
This account was also used
by Mr Jimmy Fong.
Got an address for him?
No. But...he was due to fly into
the UK from Bangkok last Saturday.
Satur-
That's the day
of the Midsomer Flower Show
and the day
Madeline Villiers was killed.
Thank you, Cully. Tell you what,
if you print this out for me,
I will buy you lunch.
Sounds nice.
Come in, please.
You are her sole executor, Mr Fong.
Please, sit.
Miss Villiers left you
her entire estate.
On condition that she is cremated
and her ashes scattered
as orchid fertiliser.
I always found that quite odd.
Hm. On the slopes of...
Mount...
Kinabalu.
Where is that, exactly?
Borneo.
Ah. Mm.
What happened to the books
they took out of her safe?
Oh, we'll make sure
the police pay for the damage
and restore them
to their rightful owner...you.
It looks as if all the money
Miss Villiers made from the orchids
was paid into
this Swiss bank account.
Yeah, go on.
We know she sold the um... Pa-
Papheopedilum.
That's the one.
For ã150,000.
Yet only ã25,000 of it
was paid into her account.
Hm. Which means...
that ã125,000 could still be unpaid,
doesn't it?
And if the buyer
were indeed Henry Plummer,
and if the orchid
were destroyed by someone
before it's even fully paid for...
Maybe Henry Plummer was going to
sell on the orchid - at a profit.
Someone clobbered him, then strung
him up to make it look like suicide?
We may be looking for a third party
here, Scott.
Someone who killed Henry Plummer
for his orchid.
Burned the lot to cover his tracks.
Who else knew Plummer
had that orchid?
If I was a gambling man,
I'd put money on that toff Hilliard.
No. If he said that he and his wife
had dinner with the Lord Lieutenant
on the night of the murder,
they probably did.
I'd like another look round
Miss Villiers' cottage.
I suppose we could always um...
Get a warrant,
you were about to say, Scott.
Exactly, sir.
Oh, it's you lot.
What are you doing here?
Me? I'm just finishing a job
she's already paid me for.
A new outside tap.
Mr Rose,
how very honourable of you.
You got a key?
No. The solicitor locked it all up.
What a lovely garden.
Yeah.
A young fella comes in to do it.
A university student into plants.
Come and have a look at this, sir!
Is this anything to do with you,
Harry?
No, it's not my department.
But it's deadly. It's got sulphuric
acid in it. Don't touch it.
Told you.
You're supposed to dilute it.
One part to 100.
It wasn't you who poured this stuff
on Plummer's orchids?
Me? I wouldn't touch that stuff
with a stick.
Get a sample of that, Scott,
for George Bullard to analyse.
Mr Rose,
what do you know about hemlock?
Now, that I do know about.
That's hemlock.
How do you know?
She told me.
It's poisonous.
Something to do with some old Greek
she was keen on.
Name of Socrates.
Got a bust of him indoors.
How do you turn this into a poison?
No idea. It smells like mouse pee
if you crush it.
Madeline... Miss Villiers,
kept a bottle of it in case she got
one of them debilitating diseases.
I've got to get on.
I've got a wiring job in an hour.
Where did you learn all these
decorating and building skills?
In prison?
I'm a lifer. Out on licence.
But I think you know that already.
I thought you had the look
of an old lag about you.
What did you go down for?
Manslaughter.
For which you served,
what, eight years, I believe.
I did a cab driver when I was drunk.
I'm clean now.
I had nothing to do with her death!
I'm not suggesting you did.
I've kept my nose clean.
I don't want to go back inside!
Where do you live?
Causton bail hostel. And if you
want to go on living there, Harry,
I'd like to hear everything you're
NOT telling us about Miss Villiers.
Well, she wasn't the righteous
spinster everyone thought she was.
So I believe.
And, apart from your good self,
who visited her
in the last few days?
Well, I'm not here
all the time, you know.
I did notice a pizza box and some
lager cans in the incinerator.
A present from old Socrates,
Mr Rose?
I'm pretty sure it's a hybrid.
Yes, here we are.
That's the one.
Oh. Er... Yes. Ahem.
Er...
Ahem. That's a nice flower.
My phalaenopsis.
They ooze glamour, don't you think?
They add a sort of...I don't know,
sexiness to a room.
Ahem.
Yes, I'm right. It's the hybrid.
Also known as the Bardot rose.
Ah. Rose.
It's not actually a rose.
No, no.
Madeline Villiers
employed a handyman called Rose.
Do you know that man, Professor?
Harry Rose? Indeed I do.
Harry's an absolute godsend.
To a good number of people
in the neighbourhood.
Come up with
some interesting info, sir.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Miss Villiers' account
in Switzerland
was shared with a bloke
called Jimmy Fong,
who's been making withdrawals.
Jimmy Fong?! Who he?
I don't know. He also shares
a travel agent's account with her.
And he flew in three days ago
from Bangkok.
Bangkok?
Her smuggling partner, perhaps.
Chinese, maybe? Trips to
the Far East? Could well be.
Maybe there was a falling out
among thieves. Where is he now?
I don't know.
But he'll soon be short of dosh.
I've frozen
their joint Swiss bank account.
How did you manage that?
Once upon a time, sir, there was a
Swiss copper from the Fiscal Police.
Nice fella. Family man.
He got into a bit of bother
with a prostitute.
I got him out of it.
You never cease to amaze me, Scott.
Amaze me some more
by tracking down this Jimmy Fong.
How's Brother Robert getting on
with his diary translation?
Sir, up at the abbey, they still
tell the time with a sundial.
We should have asked
Professor Winstanley.
Yes, we should. She knows much more
than she is telling us.
So, no doubt you'll be going to see
her again for another word?
Yes, indeed I will.
Are you sure you'll be safe, sir?
So, what is it about these plants
that turns collectors
into criminals?
Addiction. Obsession.
Mania.
Call it what you will.
Personally,
I'm attracted both to the peculiar,
and to the erotic.
Take this papheopedilum sanderianum
here.
Just look at its luscious folds,
that perfectly round
glistening pouch.
Did you know that orchid
is a Greek word meaning testicle?
Is that a fact?
You see what I mean?
Ahem. What does Mr Winstanley think
about your passion for orchids?
He walked out on me years ago.
Does the name Jimmy Fong
mean anything to you?
Fong?
He's a notorious orchid smuggler.
The convention on international
trade in endangered species
has been after him for years.
Did you know he was involved
with Miss Villiers?
I'm intrigued.
But I had absolutely no idea.
With all due respect, Margaret,
I think
you are holding something back.
I never hold anything back.
Venous engorgement.
Enlargement of the vein
above the point of injury.
And...cyanosis.
The blue discoloration
of the fingertips.
So he was strangled first, then hung
up to make it look like suicide.
What about the weedkiller?
In common use 20 years ago,
I'm afraid. Banned now, of course.
I'm still awaiting test results.
Oh. That old bottle
did contain hemlock.
PHONE RINGS
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Hold on, Charlie.
Thank you, George.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, go on, Charlie.
What, nothing at all?
All right. Thank you.
There is no-one by the name of Fong
at any of the B&Bs or hotels
within 50 miles of here, sir.
Perhaps he's gone back to Bangkok.
Maybe he has.
If he had come all that way
to kill Miss Villiers.
But what if he'd come over
to marry her?
How do you think he'd react
if he arrived early
and caught her in flagrante
with...Henry Plummer, perhaps?
It would certainly
cure his jet-lag, sir.
Ha ha!
Perhaps the floozy actress
was actually Miss Villiers.
And our Henry Plummer was repaying
some of his debt in kind, eh?
And if he was ã125,000 shy
in the kitty,
I think the Chinaman
might want his orchid back as well.
I'd like to hear the merry widow
sing some more.
Looks like the handyman's
got his hammer out already, sir.
Good afternoon, Mrs Plummer.
Please come in.
Have you come to tell me
that you're releasing Henry's body
so that I can arrange the funeral?
No.
It's not going to be
as easy as that.
It appears your husband's death
was not a suicide.
Wasn't suicide?
What are you talking about?
# Leave the rest to me
♪ Give me the moonlight
Give me the girl
♪ And leave the rest
♪ To me
♪ Give me... ♪
Mr Rose.
Inspector.
Supporting Mrs Plummer
in her darkest hours, I see.
Harry's helping me
with Henry's belongings.
The good stuff goes to Oxfam.
The rest in the incinerator.
Strangled? Oh, my God!
Who on earth would strangle Henry?
That's what we're trying
to find out, Mrs Plummer.
On the night
of your husband's death,
you drove to London, didn't you?
I did. I left
around about a quarter to eight.
I went to a club. I stayed
with some friends in Chiswick.
Those friends,
they'd vouch for that, would they?
You're not suggesting it was me,
are you?
Well, you yourself suggested
that you lived separate lives.
So what? Sleeping
in separate beds was a luxury.
How was your husband's relationship
with Miss Villiers?
What relationship?
Did he ever...visit her?
Are you suggesting...
Why would he visit
a dried-up old spinster like her?
What about Harry Rose?
Will he be moving in
when all this is over?
What sort of person
do you think I am?
My husband's been murdered, dammit!
Harry may be very good
at practical things,
but that's as far as it goes!
PHONE RINGS
Hello.
Just a moment, Spencer.
As it happens, this is my solicitor,
who's sorting out the probate.
If you want to talk to me further,
I'd like him to be present.
You can wait until he gets here,
or you can see yourselves out!
Mr Rose.
I'm in a rush. I've got to get this
to the Oxfam shop in Causton.
Not only musical, but virtuous too.
Mr Rose, why don't you
call into Causton police station
when you've done all this
for a little chat.
Just to tie up a few loose ends.
Around about four o'clock?
Whatever you say.
What have we here?
Excuse me, sir!
We're Causton CID. Are you Mr Fong?
Mr Jimmy Fong?
Me? No.
I'm Weng Tu Ho
from Happy House Chinese restaurant.
In Causton. Er...
Do you want to order something?
What's in the box?
Crispy duck with pancake
and barbecue sauce. Very tasty.
You... You welcome any time.
That's a big car for an errand boy.
Isn't it just?
Check out
this Happy House restaurant.
So, if you are the real Weng Tu Ho,
sir,
can you tell me who the man
with the black BMW is, please?
I don't know.
He don't give me no name.
Maybe Jimmy Fong, maybe not.
Yeah, maybe.
But why is this fella,
whose name you don't know,
why is he delivering food for you?
He was eating Pearl River
special lunch
when takeaway motorbike
got flat tyre.
A big mess. So this man say
he has got car. He go himself.
Just like that?
Just like that.
We Chinese always help each other.
That's very noble.
Can you tell me where he is now?
I don't know. He bring
takeaway money back then go.
Maybe he come back.
Maybe not.
Now, Mr Rose,
the weedkiller
found in Miss Villiers' shed
matches that
used to kill Mr Plummer's orchids.
That's got nothing to do with me.
Maybe Deborah asked you to do it.
Oh, no, she didn't.
Your favours are just sexual?
Well... Yeah.
We do it from time to time.
She gets off on being laid
by an ex-con, would you believe?
Did Deborah ask you
to kill her husband?
No! It's got nothing to do with me,
I swear!
What about Miss Villiers?
Did you have a...relationship
with her too?
Look, after eight years
of being inside,
I had a lot of catching up to do.
Her lover lives abroad
and she needed the practice.
Like she said, use it or lose it.
What about Miss Villiers' orchid
smuggling? What do you know of it?
Well, I found her the cabinet.
So she could put her plants in it
when she came back from abroad.
What about the orchid
she sold to Mr Plummer for ã150,000?
150 grand? For a plant?
You're having me on!
Scott, Mr Rose seems to be suffering
from some kind of amnesia.
Yeah. I tell you what,
there are some very good
psychiatrists working in prison.
I'll let the licence board know
about our murder investigation.
I don't want to go back inside.
All right. I admit...
..I knew about the yellow roth.
Madeline... Miss Villiers was livid
because Henry Plummer
only coughed up 25 grand.
She said if I went to his house
and got it back, she'd give me ã50.
And did you?
We're wasting our time here, sir.
Put him back inside.
Keep your shirt on!
I did go round to Plummer's house.
About ten o'clock.
And there was no-one there.
But I was already too late.
Everything was ruined.
Including the yellow roth?
From what I saw,
that was shrivelled up as well.
150 grand's-worth of plant, zapped.
Just like that.
Then what did you do?
I legged it, didn't I?
I phoned Miss Villiers,
but when she didn't answer,
I went home to the hostel.
Next morning, I found her dead.
Never did get the 50 quid!
OK, Harry.
I don't think for a minute
that you've told me the whole truth.
But I don't think any useful purpose
will be served by locking you up.
You're free to go.
Thank you very much, sir.
That took some force!
It certainly did.
Who found him?
The butler. Feather.
Constable Charles
has already taken a statement.
But Tom...
Take a look at this.
Something missing.
Something taken.
We thought
he'd fallen asleep in there.
He does sometimes.
It's so warm and cosy.
And he's got
his father's old deckchair.
But when he didn't come in for tea,
Feather went to see where he was.
Yes, ma'am. I found him...
Mrs Hilliard, had your husband
recently acquired a new orchid?
I don't suppose it matters
now that he...
Yes, yes.
He was terribly excited about it.
This one was so frightfully rare.
Even unique, he said.
Was that orchid the papheopedilum
Rothschildianum flavum?
The yellow roth?
Yes. How did you know?
And for which he must have paid
a great deal of money.
Munro can afford to indulge,
Mr Barnaby.
Like his father
and his grandfather before him,
he was addicted to orchids
as others are addicted to drugs.
They were his passion.
What of this deadly orchid?
This orchis fatalis?
The price proved too high.
Even for Munro.
Mrs Hilliard, have you any idea
where the orchid came from?
I never asked.
Would your husband have bought
the orchid if he'd known
it was illegally imported
into the country?
He was a conservationist!
Could your husband have bought
the orchid from Henry Plummer?
It's very unlikely.
Munro and Plummer...
despised each other.
He considered him an arriviste!
He'll...never come plodding back
from the conservatory, will he?
I think, in the circumstances...
Er... Yes. I'm sorry.
Thank you, Mrs Hilliard.
She describes in great detail
the sexual acts between her
and her many partners.
Ferus Asiae tigris
quantum differit ab juvene.
Wild Asian tiger is growing tame.
How different from the young man.
Jimmy Fong.
And this is her last entry.
It's most curious.
Et cras dies nuptiarum mea.
And tomorrow is my wedding day but
I shall not marry the peacemaker.
And I think we'll find the
peacemaker is Jonathan Makepeace.
Afternoon, Mr Makepeace.
I wonder if you've got a minute.
Could you help us, please?
Of course.
The late Miss Villiers...
..she kept a diary.
Really?
Yes. And in it,
you feature rather prominently.
It's not surprising.
I spent hours with her.
Discussing her garden and -
But it wasn't just her flower patch
you were planting seeds in, was it?
I don't know what you mean.
She claims that you were her lover.
Lover? That's ridiculous!
That's some senile old woman
fantasising.
Well...
I did go round there
a couple of times, yes. But...
But I had nothing at all
to do with her death.
Were you intending to marry her?
Marry her?
As in make her your wife
till death do you part.
Well... Yes.
But I couldn't go through with it.
The night she died, I told her
I'd changed my mind. She was livid.
But when I left,
she was very much alive!
Sorry. I'm just trying
to get my head round this.
Why would a handsome young student
like yourself, Jonathan,
want to marry someone
old enough to be their grandmother?
It is a little involved.
Let me guess, Mr Makepeace.
Am I right in saying that
it was an attempt to find out about
her orchid smuggling operation
and that you were prepared to go...
to almost any lengths
to discover who was involved?
Well...
You know um...
Pillow talk might have provided
a valuable lead.
We wanted to get
to the bottom of it.
But we didn't mention it to anyone.
We didn't dare.
We didn't dare. We. You said we.
Who's the we?
Whose idea was it to seduce
Miss Villiers in the first place?
Professor Winstanley's, of course.
Yes, I did put him up to it.
Madeline's sexual appetite
was well known in the village.
You mean,
Harry Rose told you about it.
And did Harry Rose also tell you
that she smuggled rare orchids?
Oh, good lord, no.
Harry's the soul of discretion.
We had a pretty good idea.
Hence the Casanova role
for Jonathan.
Which she was perfectly happy with.
Jonathan Makepeace said
she wasn't very happy
when he went round to call off the
wedding on the evening of her death.
Do you think Jonathan
had anything to do with her death?
No, of course not!
He's a botanist, not a murderer!
Hm.
I don't recall suggesting
it was a murder.
Well, isn't...
Isn't that what you're implying?
I'd be very interested to know
how you think Henry Plummer died.
He committed suicide, didn't he?
No, Professor.
They were both murdered.
Oh, my God!
And the catalyst
for both the deaths,
it appears, was a smuggled orchid.
Which, now I'm pretty certain, was
eventually bought by Munro Hilliard.
And as a result,
he too was murdered.
Munro Hilliard?
I should have brought my suspicions
about Madeline's smuggling
activities to you, shouldn't I?
The prospect of cracking
an international smuggling ring,
of watching the culprits
being brought to justice,
being hailed as the saviour
of orchid habitats
in remote corners of the world,
clouded my judgement.
Is that so terrible, Mr Barnaby?
The consequences were so terrible.
A bit of common sense would have
told you what could happen.
But there was never a chair
in common sense at the university.
I was going through Munro's papers
and found this.
It appears that Madam's late husband
arranged to pay ã175,000
from one of his offshore accounts
to Mrs Plummer.
Was the payment made?
No, sir.
There being no sign of the orchid,
Madam had the account frozen.
PHONE BEEPS
Oh, I'm sorry.
I know this is a very,
very trying time for you,
but do you recall your husband
mentioning the name Fong?
Mr Jimmy Fong.
I've never heard the name before.
No?
This has been very useful.
Thank you.
And as it happens,
our Mr Fong is waiting for us
at Causton police station.
As sole beneficiary
of the late Miss Villiers' will,
my client would like returned to him
certain items removed illegally
from her safe.
Legally removed, Mr Jocelyn,
in order to further our enquiries
into her death.
If you don't mind, I'd like to ask
your client a direct question.
Mr Fong, last time we met you,
you were delivering a Chinese meal
and calling yourself Weng Tu Ho.
Just trying to do a fellow Chinaman
a favour.
I always eat at the Happy House
when I come to England.
And the business
which brought you here
was your very lucrative
orchid smuggling, I presume.
My client will certainly not
answer that question!
He's here of his own volition
to reclaim
his unlawfully seized property.
Not to be questioned about
alleged criminal activities
for which you have
absolutely no evidence!
It's OK, Mr Jocelyn.
I've devoted all my life to saving
threatened orchids from extinction.
That's a new slant.
My client will make no further
comment on this line of questioning.
Perhaps your client
will be kind enough to tell us
what he is doing in Midsomer.
I came here...
to marry Madeline Villiers
and to take her away on honeymoon
to Switzerland.
But she was having it off
with somebody else,
so you killed her, didn't you?
Kill her? For that?
She was sleeping with
half the village, wasn't she?
Are insults to the dead
all you've got left in your arsenal?
I'm no saint, believe you me.
But I loved her.
And she loved me.
I would never kill her!
Mr Fong, did you kill Henry Plummer?
And Munro Hilliard?
In order to recover the orchid
for which your...intended
had already died?
Mrs Plummer, may I put this to you?
That you stole the yellow roth
from your husband's collection
because Munro Hilliard had secretly
agreed to buy it from you -
It was my orchid, dammit!
Henry had paid for it with my money!
But yes, you're right.
Hilliard had agreed to buy it.
So you go round to collect the cash,
but either he refused to pay it
to you or he hadn't got it.
You attacked him with a fork
and took it back.
Attacked him with a fork?!
I've never heard such a load
of rubbish in all my life!
But you did sell him the orchid.
Well, that I will admit to.
You see, I didn't go to London
immediately after the flower show.
The thought of 150 grand's-worth
of plant
just sitting there
was too much for me.
He'd already gone into town,
so I took the orchid.
Then I thought, "What the hell?
Why don't I put a stop to this
orchid lunacy once and for all?"
There's no law against it.
I checked.
But there is -
against selling smuggled orchids.
You have to prove
it was smuggled first.
How was your crispy duck, by the
way? Delivered by the famous
orchid smuggler himself,
Mr Jimmy Fong.
Not enough barbecue sauce.
There never is.
But he wasn't just bringing you
a Chinese takeaway, was he?
He was bringing you some bad news.
So, where's the rest of the money
your husband owed to Miss Villiers?
I don't have it.
Mm-hm.
Then you'd better find it
pretty quick.
Because when I come back,
I want either cash or orchid!
You understand?
Who delivered the orchid
to Mr Hilliard?
I did.
I mean, we did.
Run me over to the manor house.
I don't want anyone
to recognise my car up there.
I thought he was going to have
a heart attack.
I don't want to sound vulgar, Munro,
but what about the money?
The money didn't come through.
So, I got Rose to run me up there
again yesterday.
But he wasn't there.
No sign of him.
Munro?
I'll give him a ring again.
I'm still waiting for my money.
You'll be waiting a very long time.
Munro Hilliard was murdered.
Round about the same time as Rose
drove you up there yesterday.
Murdered?
The orchid's gone. Mrs Hilliard's
frozen her husband's bank accounts.
Oh, my God! I'm ruined!
Where's my orchid?
Where's my money?
Oh, my God! I'm broke!
You know where that orchid is.
You probably killed Mr Hilliard
to get it back.
No! You've got it all wrong!
He was already dead
when I found him!
Let her go.
No end to your talent, is there?
So,
you were the obliging chauffeur,
were you?
I didn't have a choice, did I?
That's all I did. Dropped her off
a couple of times and waited.
Yeah, I bet.
It's the truth.
Or did you go back to
the manor house, skewer Mr Hilliard,
and then nick the plant
for yourself?
We are trying very hard
to think of a reason
not to arrest you
for the murder of Munro.
Help us out, Harry.
There was one thing.
Now I come to think of it.
While I was waiting there,
I noticed something weird.
Right, Harry. Let's go.
Now!
I saw this old butcher's bike
propped up against the wall.
I remember
thinking to myself at the time,
"All the butchers round here
drive vans."
What meat would anybody deliver
on that thing?
A butcher's bicycle?
Are you sure about that?
It is very pretty, that.
Mr Barnaby.
I still find it hard to believe it's
worth a quarter of a million quid.
That is, I take it,
Papheopedilum Rothschildianum
flavum?
The yellow roth.
If only!
You got the genus right,
but this is the sanderianum.
It's exquisite, isn't it?
We just take your word for that,
do we?
The point is no longer
about plant appreciation.
We are here to ask you
about the murder of Munro Hilliard.
What can I possibly tell you
about that?
Where were you yesterday afternoon?
I was right here. Why do you ask?
Because your bicycle was seen
outside Hilliard's house
yesterday afternoon.
Well, I... I lent it to Jonathan.
Makepeace?
Is he here now?
You'll find him in the palm house.
DIGGING
What a perfect place
to hide the orchid
that has already cost three lives.
What do you want?
Want?! I want to talk to you
about three murders.
Stay away or I'll use it,
I promise you!
No more penalty points.
It's bad enough as it is.
What do you think you're doing?
For God's sake, put that down!
I would do as the professor asks.
That is the stolen orchid, isn't it?
The yellow roth?
Yes, it is.
Munro Hilliard was willing to pay
ã175,000 for that, Jonathan.
You've got someone else in mind
who's paying a good deal more.
A quarter of a million, maybe?
It's the only one in the world!
THUD AND SPLASH
We have a witness who will testify
that Professor Winstanley's bike,
which she lent to you,
was seen outside Hilliard's house
at the relevant time.
And your prints
were on the fork.
The moment you laid eyes upon it,
you recognised it.
The yellow roth.
You and I could breed from it,
Mr Hilliard.
We could make millions.
You think I do this for the money?
You greedy little tyke!
I'm not breeding anything
from this beauty.
All my life
I've waited for a moment like this.
Not even my father,
nor my grandfather before him,
ever saw such a perfect bloom.
Then let's say you give me ã200,000
or I inform the police.
Blackmail?
How dare you?
Get out of here, you bloody upstart!
You're not fit to be in the same
room as this beautiful plant.
We'll see about that.
I threatened to report him
and he attacked me. Self-defence.
That's what I'll say in court
and no-one can prove otherwise.
Madeline Villiers had no intention
of marrying you, had she?
It was she who jilted you.
It was the other way round.
It was the last entry in her diary.
Then, in a fit of rage
at seeing your smuggling ambitions
go up in smoke, you killed her.
Are you mad?
Are you suffering from dementia
or something?
No, Jonathan, I'm not.
You don't know my future husband.
Although you've lain in my bed
to try and coax his name out of me.
But he and I
are made for each other.
We're meant to spend
our last years together.
It's our destiny.
So, you just used me, didn't you?
You debauched old bat!
I was only your toy boy after all,
wasn't I?
Don't play the innocent with me,
Jonathan.
I'd hate to think that was
all there was to our affair.
Tell me,
or you'll drink every last drop.
Don't be stupid, Jonathan.
Tell me!
Jonathan, please!
Tell me.
Please, Jonathan! I beg you!
Tell me.
Henry Plummer.
You must have held on to her
until the hemlock started to work.
And then went round to steal
the orchid from Henry Plummer.
But something unexpected happened,
didn't it, Jonathan?
You did this!
Hilliard sent you, didn't he?
You destroyed everything!
You toe-rag!
And all for a single orchid.
Not just any old orchid.
The rarest orchid
in the whole world!
Margaret.
I'm sorry.
He was such a promising student.
Such a terrible waste.
Sgt Scott will need to take
a statement from you. Is that OK?
Whenever.
I'm sorry.
(SNEEZES)
You're not sleeping here, are you?
Of course.
Looking after this
is like looking after a baby.
Only I don't have to
change its nappies!
Join me on my night watch,
if you like.
Brother Robert!
Your eulogy for Miss Villiers
was lovely, very fitting.
Very good of you to say so.
I had the advantage
of knowing the lady more...
intimately
than most of the congregation.
Thank you for it.
Goodbye.
Mr Barnaby.
I just... I wanted to thank you
for giving me a second chance.
Oh, Harry! Best of luck with it.
Stay out of trouble.
I will.
Gamekeeper turning poacher, sir.
And heading for a long
and restful retirement, I trust.
We're going to Mount Kinabalu
to carry out Madeline's last wish.
And what was that?
She wanted her ashes scattered
as fertiliser on the jungle slopes.
She'll help grow unique orchid,
which we'll name after her.
Enjoy your trip.
You know, I think I'll let someone
else organise the flower show
next year.
Oh, yes.
So, what about that lunch
you promised me?
I'm going to surprise you all here.
Lunch is on me.
Chinese, anyone?
ITFC Subtitles
SALLY GRAY